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Monday, November 16, 2009

अपने आप से रूठो ना (Forgive Myself)

When I have to request my own mind, ‘please forgive me’, it is a bit difficult! All that ‘character-building’ exercises that we arduously undertook all along, suddenly now, seems to turn against very own self! At the very start, it looks like giving ourselves undue concessions! We hear people say “I could never forgive myself for that….” and when they say so, we feel a bit proud too, of having such a person as our friend! Here is a person who is strict enough when it comes to own self! But I wonder, does it really work?
Anyway, a question came up where the asker was seeking a way out of frustration when he (or she perhaps) could not find a ‘release’ despite an attempt to forgive oneself. Here, I felt there is something I could offer as a suggestion. The asker seems to be quite impressed. So I was wondering if yet others might find it worth taking a look at.
Regards,
Psn(16th November, 2009)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091115185827AA4WRxb
The asker’s question:
I have forgiven myself but it seems as though I can't forget about the wrong I have done....?
I think so much and it becomes frustrating when I can't find answers as to why something happens. I am always looking for truth in situations and sometimes it can become very frustrating. People who think alot...What is it they do to keep their minds healthy and positive? and What keeps them to not dwell on the past and keep their minds rolling on the future? How is it done?

My reply:
Well, then try that 'forgiven myself' in two ways, instead of either of the ways.Emotionally console yourself, and forgive, with clear understanding of how emotions led us a bit astray, and caused the frustration.Logically too, analyse what happened, and how the logic failed us to cause that frustrating situation, due to our own acts of omission/commision etc, and resolve it conclusively and logically, taking a mental note to better ourselves next time.The memory of the situation by itself will never be the cause of frustration when looking at the past. In fact once the residue is resolved conclusively, only the 'positive' aspect of it remains, to serve us as a good lesson learnt for future guidance!(We might have heard of "Homer" the great ancient thinker, philosopher, and a wonderful legendary poet. He mentioned 'troubles & pebbles' as a solution to resolve such troubling memories. He used to take a few pebbles, keep one at a time in hand, ponder deep, resolve it either way, and cast away the pebble as 'dealt' with!)
Best wishes.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure, but I feel the person asking the question is only seeing from a very selfish angle. S/He is only seeing what others are doing to hurt her or him, but has never considered what S/He has done! S/He probably feels the entire universe exists to serve her or him. S/He has never considered that s/he is to be of service to others!

Deepakbellur said...

I totally agree with what Anonymous observes.