Sensitivity Potential

“My I please touch your feet to collect a little dust from it” She asked! ('charnon ki dhool' or something like that is the Hindi version of it... I ain't too sure!)

An amazing dialogue from the 'First Lady' of that house hold!

This dialogue came towards the fag end of the movie, “Apne Paraye” and as I heard it, it raised the goose-pimples in me (the Indian way of 'goose-pimple' not fear... Rongte Khada hona!)...

A little prior to that the Boss of the house (Utpa Dutt-ji, a master-actor when it comes to subtle emotions), with that typical elongated laughter exclaims, ' My brother decided to move back to town... Yes, he is smart.. he understood, .. with me around, his vakaalat (legal practice—subtle meaning= politics) won't sell here!'....

What is amazing is the direction excellence, and script-dexterity at providing a very subtle hint at the ancient values of joint-family!

Sensitivity was a potential, with the head of the family, to be invoked at will, not a helpless antenna like our ancient small-size radio's which would play two broadcast stations simultaneously when the sensitivity of the 'receiver' was unable to be matched by the amplifier mechanism to synchronise it effectively with that tiny needle, to be 'touched' very gently (not moved liberally, to even 'get' the desired station!)...

He did not even pay attention to trifles in the family ('chillar' affairs) again, a conscious curb on his attentiveness, not an unbridled alertness!!! (We have 'heads' of the country who play dumb, refusing to pay attention to great scams even, and say, 'it has not come to my notice'! May be they are sore at the status of the figurative heads, their counter parts, who enjoys freedom from being questioned about being so-dumb!)...

He chose not to pay attention, because he represents the ability to repose 'unconditional' trust in his juniors in the family....

And when things went a little out of control (the whole story narrates the details, as to how, such chain of events lead to that 'little-out-of-control'..), when that came to his notice, it did not take much time to consciously apply his alertness, attentiveness, his sensitivity, and in 'no-time' set things in proper order, while retaining his composure of that inimitable-relaxed-elongated laughter!

It so happened that, it took almost half-time, for that lady-of-the-house to 'realise' the worth of this spouse of hers, and therefore that 'may I collect the dust of your feet' (“even the dust is sufficiently charged to pass on the positive vibrations, emanating from you so-subtly, all the time, unnoticed even by me!!!... Oh! How much of-you, I missed all along!” is the message, that this lady struggles to convey to the audience, 'acting-it-out'!!!)

....

we are not exactly “thick-skinned”, by default... We are receptive too.. it is just that we do not “allow it to happen!”... Please see, that simple thing the goose pimples, what can possibly prevent it from surging?... The dead skin, retained to to clothing-syle (if too tight 'usually'), refusal to scrub it consciously during a regular bath (presumed, of course), the water containing plaque-like hard-water chemicals forming a formidable layer(over a period of time), ... importantly, we, refusing that natural air-conditioning system in-built in us to function properly due to fancy for gadgets like Fan(see!), A/c ('a' see.. too!).. and several other factors, over a period of time, contributing heavily to acquire a 'thoroughly insensitive-like skin'... would ... at best... produce an 'unknown/unexplained ... itch-only... while the original design was to intimate us yet again through that joyousness accompanying that 'goose-pimple' phenomenon!!! (And we complain, .. sort of... that the animals are able to 'sense' the onset of next-change-in-weather)!!!

Shat-Kriya... is one set of the 'earliest' of practices, a heavy-concept-embedded ... tool, meant to cleanse a disciple, who seeks tutelage of a spiritual Master!

Yours,

psn (25th January, 2014)

post script:

When I had a glimpse of this experience... as to 'what all.... this extra cleanliness can do..' a thought irritated me... “Hey, if this is the requirement at body level, physical level, to become a potential in sensitivity, at will... I can't imagine, the mind-cleansing-program! I have half-a-mind to even postpone it to 'some-other' next time!... What????... said somebody deep within, and then started the real problem!

Pehle aap

“Let that girl continue, I shall drop out” volunteered a kid, barely 10 years old!

And the girl must be not over even 7...

These two were the left out ones, when one of them had to face an elimination, at a reality-show, where tiny-tots were shown competing as 'super singer'...

It caught my attention! Something not so common!

Even in a bus, I do find somebody offering 'pehle aap' wala gesture, when a seat suddenly gets vacant, in that crowd... My impulsive response would have been to park my bottom in a great urgency.. but that gesture from the other, whose bottom was so close to the surface of the seat, did not try to compete, and instead, rose a little higher, figuratively hitting the low roof of that bus even, it did touch me... and I now got a choice, to extend this offer to a next fellow, heavily laden with bags, etc, struggling to hold on to the steel bar.. He felt sheepish, being too young, but I reassured him, his luggage is 'now'..... a 'more-senior-citizen' than me! He liked the 'idea', smiled a bit gracefully too!

I felt, 'not so bad after all! There are such people here and there!'...

The judges of that reality show could not stay far behind, when these two kids did that game of 'pehle aap/pehle aap' for a while.... They said, “no elimination today!” ..

“Hey!” , I felt.... “Reverberations of AAP effect ? This way? .. Here too? (it was a Malayalam channel, far south... while the AAP effect was heavily complicated, being already too complex, and it was not any 'pehle-aap' factor, but sheer compulsions of ..... unpredictable-apprehensions... that might have persuaded the Dilli-rulers to postpone a hasty 'administrative' action of pulling down the erring AAP wala!!!)..

Anyway... it is worth risking that 'pehle aap' gesture, where the stakes are not too high! Instead of trying to grab anything and everything, with a 'pehle mai'' or 'mai-hi-mai'!!! Even that alphabet 'A' , makes an appearance only after “Nine Hundred Ninety Nine” juniors as a “thousAnd” ..... when we look at.... one, two, three, etc......

(But yes, when it is about refining oneself,... let us not wait, till everybody around becomes, nice, and only then to extend that graceful gesture of being nice to others! Are we going to be the last fool to get reformed? Here, better to jump the queue!... I tried, I keep trying.. I get snubbed, at times painfully exploited too, but it is great fun.. for I know, whether it is profit or losses, we write off everything, right here before we go, empty as usual!).

Yours too, or Too-yours,

psn (24th January, 2014)

Urgency by Choice

“Just a minute...” said the kid, when his dad announced, “Come on... wind up,... time to leave, it is getting dark...”.

The Kid looked around, and only then he noticed, 'Yes! Indeed, it is getting dark... Strange, I didn't notice it earlier!'.. and then he took a small distance from the mound of sand, a good sprint, and a jerk-kick at the mound, and enjoyed watching it collapse!

It was now the turn of his dad, to look for something that he failed to notice, from the very same thing that he was staring at,... all the time!

That kid had been taken for an 'outing'... And the choice of place turned to be the sea beach... But once he set his foot on the wet sand, he noticed something 'wonderful'!!! Wet sand can hold itself, its grains together! Now, he saw, he can make something out of it...! He decided upon a 'h-u-g-e' castle ('why feel shy about the size, when the only material needed is in 'abundance'!', he told himself)...

The dad,... was 'ousted, from-any-choice' except to watch at the mad and intense pace at which the child set about on this 'task'... He strained every bit of his being,... to focus and bring out the best product.. The child's reach seemed inadequate when it was a long tunnel-like path way through-and-through that castle, by carefully carving out lumps of sand with his tiny hands.. the dad tried to help.. but 'NO!!' shrieked that kid... and the dad withdrew his 'reach' by the hand... The dad 'noticed'.. his hand had preceded the 'spelling out of intentions' firstly, and the kid was too engrossed to be able to 'make wild guesses', about the 'sanctity of his intentions'!...

It was almost finished, and the kid took a two-feet distance to view at the grandeur of that 'castle', and at the same time, 'verified', if the dad too... was beyond the security-cordon of the same 2-feet-distance.. .. He looked at his dad, and saw the admiration at his handiwork...

That was when the darkness decided the 'dead-line'...

And the dad kept wondering all the way home, “How did this kid manage to ... so-cheerfully-kick, at the very same thing that he was guarding so zealously , moments earlier???...!!!!” Dunno!

.....

I happened to call up a very close friend of mine, to find out what his cardiologist had to say, when this friend had told me, a fortnight ago, “I am going to take this fresh reports, and see if I get a concession for the quantity of tablets that I swallow 3 times a day... these blood-thinners!”...

'Oh!...,' he said... “I could not get my self to meet that cardio... other things came up, two travels of two weeks each, and the 'schedule' got upset... Next month, I plan to get back to schedule, wait till my body 'also-looks-good' and then try to impress that cardiologist...” The pills were on, for over an year... and to restore the blood, .... quality food, obviously, a bit less-likeable... were contradicting each other! The pills won the race and the 'schedule' to regain blood, plus health, lost ... That was the after-effect of stents he was wearing.

....

“Okay..” I said, “take your time... it's your schedule... so you decide.....”...

He did not 'sound' quite okay with what I said... I too knew it.. There was an understanding between us, ... when I talk to him, I can have 'my-way' of putting things across... no niceties needed!

So, I tried... “See, we are so used to looking at the schedules in terms of 'urgency'.. and more than that we look at it as 'some action to be initiated and done-by-us'... that.. 'to-be-done-by-us' ... that is more out of our very life style... usually the 'expected-output-at-workplace', its related work-pattern, and then the life-style dictated by gadgets, financial-resources, material outlook of ours.. which always persuade us to deal with them as 'your-expected-action' towards this-and-that... (Even a mother-in-law is no exception!)... See, even the Vedic slokas like 'Matru-devo-bhava' got itself redefined, to fit-into-this pattern of thinking... the action-oriented-obligations!... (while the more practical and more probable message was to the mom, perhaps.. ... 'may-you-evolve, into a God-like-mom, so that reverence becomes a natural consequence' !).

What if suddenly while we are talking thus, and you ... for no apparent reason... suddenly start perspiring..?

The mind is well educated, by now... cardio-related-symptoms... Now we rush to the nearest doctor, who, being a mere 'GP'... says, “beyond me.. better take him to a cardio—preferably the best one around”... Now, the schedule is decided by the 'urgency' of the situation (we are so good at 'crisis-management' .. so good that we invite that 'stress/psycho-symptoms/tension/etc' almost at-will now!... The stupid TV serials are good enough to assist us!)... The cardio now says... “I will watch,... when he is... 'under-observation', for 48 hours, in that ICU”... No diagnosis can be insisted upon! And when it is a 'specialist' we do not try to verify the literature aspect or the grammatical inexactitude of 'watch-under-observation' and things like that! A distinction is conferred on the nose inlets.. a tube to inhale the very same precious oxygen that the greenery around supplies in abundance with rich quality!.. Now it is doctor's schedule... so,.. we 'did not upset any schedule of .. ours'... (Mind never raises any 'audit-like-questions'.. out of the purview of CAG to question politics!)...”

I now tried to 'impersonalise' the appeal... and continued.... “We have that close common friend of ours... so unfortunate he is... he cannot alter his 'food-schedule' to allow 'even-a-few-bits' of that Bengal-gram(chana daal), while deciding to taste a dish!... His face, lips, and palms simply bulge out in few moments, distorting his appearance even... apart from those 'side-effects-assured' anti-allergy pills needed , with lots of precautions about over dose!!!

Why not look at rescheduling our mind's thought-pattern, to afford ourselves to look thus: “the body needs this care... and therefore the urgency... and therefore, my schedules ought to adjust with health-schedules... and then try out those upsetting travels, food during travel, feasts etc?”

“True!” He said...

“But,”... I continued, “another problem is... when our own inner mind is in a 'fighting-mood' with our outer mind... armed with a dialogue, 'hey you are neglecting your health too much these-days'...the very same dialogue comes from close ones around...! We know, however good a song is.. however much... we like it... two radio-stations, relaying it at the same time from two distantly located broadcasting stations, and our two radio sets, played at the same time, but badly over lapping, is so irritating!!! And when this song 'you are negligent' is coming from 'differently-abled' inner radio-station, and from 'uniquely-empowered' outer radio station(close friends, shouting as if from a distance!),.... is it going to be so palatable! Now, we are in a mood to upset every 'schedule' we know .. of all the radio stations, around, and within!!!

If this is the state of health-care due to dis-ease-urgency... what is going to be the fate of that inner-urge, which is related to 'spirituality'?? ( only a part-time affair, when there is nothing better to do!)..”.. I closed my blabber, ... thus!

....

'Speaking tree' provides scope for 'two-in-one, 3-in-one... or even 'you-decide-how-many---in-one' type of fun.... Fun-within-fun... takes away/takes-us-away.. to a very far away distance, while 'maintaining' the illusion, that we are doing our democratic duty to cast our vote, and waiting for that elected-leader to do all the good to us!

...

Zen masters, usually try to dissuade.. Worst ones among them are crude even about that!...

A fellow, asked a Zen-teacher... “Teach me!”

The teacher took him to a water tank, asked him to place his nose close to the water surface to smell and without warning pushed his head into the water, and tightly held it there....

When it was sufficiently ripe, he allowed the fellow to lift his head, and inhale deep....

Then, he asked, “while your nose was submerged into the water for this long... what was your priority?... to learn from me?”

“Hell no!”.. he replied.. “all I wanted was to just-breath... to live!”

“Then,” the teacher said, “come to me, when your urge to learn becomes 'that-desperate'.”

...

“Phir kya hua?”... asked my friend Shri Balwinder..

“Kya phir-kya-hua?...” I responded... “Arey yaar.. bahut der ke baad pataa chalaa ki woh jo mai queue samajh ke khada tha... woh koi queue hi nahi thaa... koi wahan akkal nahi baant raha thaa... woh tou sirf... ek traffic-jaam tha... hamesha ki tarah.. jagah nayee thi naa,... dhoka kha gaya!”

“Oui... ST ke dewaane” he said, and had a hearty laugh!.. I too joined into his laughter, more or less infectiously... not knowing why I laughed, with a reassuring consolation that... I knew for certain... when he laughs.... it has to be a good joke! (it was beyond me, now to search for the 'proper queue'.. on this pathless path!).

...

Leisurely yours,

psn(22 January, 2014)

Mannerly Mannerisms

Jab dil aaye Gadhi pe toh Pari kya cheez hai...

जब दिल आये गधी पे तो परी क्या चीज़ है ....

The few opening scenes of a movie turns the other cheek of a beautiful woman into a disfigured ugly one, abruptly revealed to the audience (through the eyes of the hero, of course), to see whether the perception can reach deeper than the fire-charred skin, and manage to yet find some appreciation!... (Of course, we also can 'see' that the heroine has a 'future' at stake, and so that the audience do not end up being reminded too much, of the ugly make up, .... there is a compromise that the other side will not be focused upon too much by the camera... The audience in general, doesn't have to 'love the rubbish' for too long!)...

I got a feel of how anxious/restless a kid feels, when he prays, that the question paper in his hands when opened, contains only 'that-which-he-has read-well' (he omitted too many 'portions' out of 'portions' prescribed by the teacher)... I too started 'wishing' ... something like this: “may that great voice of Ameen Sayani ji, belong to a matching-graceful-face”... And to me, it did! It sounded like an echo of... “bataa teri raza kya hai” (what is thy wish, for it is thine that will prevail)...

I had an aunt who was of a nondescript type of personality... She was not approved of by any of political parties of our family women folk, and was dismissed as 'just a so-so' lady.. The moment a new lady joins the family, there is an anxiety to find out which party she would join, to do family-politics...

This lady was down-to-earth simple... She did the routine quite well... Spoke rarely.. When the first child came forth, people noticed something queerish !! The kid used to spend his play time with almost any body around the house, very cheerfully, right at the age from one to 5... But every two hours, he would just run to his mother, take a look at her, and come back soon! She on her part, would struggle to get him to eat his 'timely' food.. he keeps running away from her, especially when she is after him! This lady was never a topic even, during the discussions... Her children now, miss her very badly (all are adults, and she died a little too early)...

Mannerisms!

Once the child starts getting used to looking-out for mannerisms, even the perception level provided by nature for self-preservation drops down to 'going only by the looks' of a person!.. It is a struggle, if somebody even tries to see beyond the skin level! Where to begin, and what to look for is itself an elusive search! We try to remember somebody... and it is the 'set of mannerisms' that rush to form a visual-picture into our imagination...

We do not even try to look at 'why we seem-to-miss a person more when away, but repel at the very sight of that person, in a few moments!...

Often the person gets all the appreciation soon after the person has earned the title 'Late'--Mr/Ms !... Usually, titles are conferred after meriting an appreciation!

A commercial guru builds up his reputation, and strives to retain it on the 'edifice of the mannerism ' that he carefully 'maintains' visibly to continue to impress his victims!.. (Tours help to prevent discovering too much.. darshan after a gap of time, only serves to 'match' the image already formed, so..  no risk at all!

There are great beings, who simply hover over, to obviate the very hurdle of this 'mannerism mask' from preventing the deeper connectivity with the being they are after!

Most compassionate teachers wait, till the student feels fatigued at the mannerisms of the teacher, and then disengages the mind even from the subtle mannerisms that words and scriptures present, and pushes over the student beyond ... to experience the concepts, its values, and if needed , for a while 'with' the being of that teacher himself.. (yes only if needed, and only for a while !)

(At a forum like this... we have an expanded choice... practice looking at the words... then its contents... then the mind, its beauty/ugliness/whatever... the 'being' alone..... taking advantage of the conspicuous absence of the 'persona-in-person that we are so used to...

Or ..... try, innovate, create and impose a new 'set of mannerisms' to suit the format of the forum, to continue our real-life games, in a virtual-meeting-world too!

While there is a noticeable effort in trying to get to 'know' a person beyond the 'mannerisms' during an 'alliance-matching/match-fixing... the popular turf has turned into a virtual meeting place now... posing a greater challenge, demanding finer-skills, and yes, offering wider range-of-choice... where endless chatting seems to get people into “no-where”... when the seeking is to see everything happen is at 'now-and-here'!!! ..

Meanwhile, the bulk of the selectivity criteria of a 'good-student' is fully-automated, outsourced to a dumb gadget... so no mis-understanding issues, when the very basis of an understanding is demolished! Na rahe baans, na baje baansuri...!!!)

Immaculately yours,

psn(21st January, 2014)

Undue Credit

 Usually it is the deep pain sensation coupled with some oddity, that enables memories of childhood which belong an age.... that is not expected of...to be remembered



It was more or less like that.



It was the second standard.. Adding up on the fingers of two palms was not a problem.. unfold in two installments (for a 3 +4), count the entire unfolded fingers from 1, 2,...3 and on..



But 'remove' is what the teacher said, when it was only about 'folding' three of the fingers, after having held vertically-up, ... all the fingers + thumb of the two available palms...
Anyway, I managed to correctly fold the 3 fingers... (it was 'how to do a "10 minus 3")...



Mean while, another 'teacher' (we were not taught, to mess with 'Miss' ... in those days... a "teacher" was for female and a "Saar" for that tougher one, the male)... another teacher stood at the door way, and my teacher went to have a chat.. I was holding both the palms with three fingers of one palm duly folded, and the rest 'waiting for something 'more' to be done about it...!'
Slowly the arm, the palm and the fingers started aching... I kept my eyes riveted on my two palms, watching the pain, and maintaining its position 'undisturbed'...



The teacher walked in with a 'show of great hurry' looked around, and then down at me (I was in the first bench).. and said, “Put your hands down!... go and come soon!”...
For a few seconds, I did not know what to do... (I was ... sort of blank)... But yes, I looked at the hands yet again, before I put it down.. (that "go and come soon" sounded too familiar, and it was a response to our show of that lone little finger towards that teacher, in emergencies)..
That was all that I carried as a 'visual picture' in my memory...
....
But I learnt the 'minus' and also the significance of what remains, after that minus-operation!



As a cashier, the work on certain days really causes anxiety of losing money...
When it is a Saturday, the crowd is the same, but working hours are half... (I always used to wonder, why the 'higher-up's' never look at this needless torture?... We would have handled it a bit more easily if were a full day)...
One such saturday brought a huge crowd... Some festival+ suffix-holiday+monthly pension drawing customers etc....
about double the crowd.. the size for a busy-full day...
The tempers rose, when customers couldn't wait for their turn...
Regular customers could easily find their patience, when they could see that I was doing a good job, as far as speed of paying out is concerned!
That concept of 'remaining' upheld fingers came in handy....
Usually cashiers count the currency notes twice, to make sure that excess does not go out (short fall is 'their' problem ... is the attitude!)...
I tried it a bit differently... Remainder-theorem (what ever it means in “true-mathematics”... Yes, when I could not distinguish between “applied maths” and the “non-applied-maths”(pure one), why not a 'true-maths', and make it as elusive as that 'eternal-truth'???)...
The packets of 100 pieces of currency notes... are pre counted-twice, the previous day, and 'duly' initialed ("initialed' means... a short and sweet- stroke of pen to-be-construed as "mini-signature"... (like the mini-samosa, which is void of the usual contents except for burnt-flakes of onions!)...
At the start of the day, fold the .... sequentially-every-twentieth note,... of these packets, and leave out the 5th bunch..
Now, if somebody is to be paid 2000 in hundreds, pluck out the first bunch of twenty along with the inward-folded note (inward-fold... indicates, that the the folded one is inclusive into the bunch it bows towards, when folded)... for a 1000, pluck ten, give away the rest.. thus, the customer who is “used” to mentally counting twice along with that varying-speed-wala-cashiers finds, the cash handed to him 'just-like-that'... (4000/- ?... 'Here it is'... two bunches, just unfolding the two notes...).. Now.... he counts it a bit too carefully, taking even his mind, off-from-me!...
His satisfaction is 'original' since his 'counting-of-notes' was 'precariously-singular'!... (He saw... I did not count even once!)



One customer started shouting... I heard very little of it, since the glass separated us, at the window, and the bulk of his 'decibels' had to be tolerated by co-customers... A few tried to tell him, “this guy is already fast at his work... there is a crowd... no point in venting out your anger at him.. ' etc... But, he was now like that baby which knows nothing else but to cry loudly and incessantly when the hunger and its wait for next feed crossed the limits-of-tolerance, and it refuses to listen to any noise made by the mom (all the dialogues are just a 'created-noise' for that baby!)...
He wouldn't stop.. And I just waited ...
This time , the “waiting” was not that ignorant like that 2nd standard kid waiting for teacher tell, 'what next?'...
I knew... there was nothing for me to respond... reaction will only infuriate him further (and the rule was, 'customer is always right'...!).
He had to cool.. and he did, and then gave a long stare, when the breath did not cooperate further, and he went away!
Another customer, synchronised his 'original' mouth piece into the round cut-glass-slit, and queried, “How could you keep so quiet sir?... If only he had continued for another 10 seconds, I might have slapped him!!!”...
Now, I had to respond... It was a non-banking-query... so I had to bank-upon a path-less path, to dish out something useful (he asked for 'trouble' with that 'how could you?'...!)...
I said, “Well, I only stood to gain... when you let out a secret + your weakness! Any time I am tempted to oblige an elderly senior citizen 'out of turn', and I see your face in the crowd on the other side, I will 'just-encash' your kindness, and pay it out to that elderly!”...
All he managed to reply was... “Sirrrrrr...." :) " .. anytime... for you, also anytimeS” (that was his English... I had to straighten it out before I count, like I do with “receipts”.... 'any-number-of-times” was his 'anytimeS'...



Undue credits has always been a problem for me!...



For some time, (during the days of volunteering), it is was residues incidental to spiritual practices (the entire credit belonged to the teachers!).. But now, I have a 'good' teacher... a magnanimous lady, ever-ready, to help (Maya Madam... I don't know if she can be a 'Miss', for she never misses, anything , ever!... So, I try never to mess up things, when it is about 'prakriti'!)



psn(20th January, 2014)

Discovery of the self

Defence preparedness...!!

It is not available as yet, when it comes to our internal stupidities...

The way we 'elect' our decision makers is ample evidence of both, our stupidity in abundance and the abundant-lack of defence preparedness about it! (A very large part of needless loss of life owes to stupidity of decision makers, when we look at Indo-china war of 1962)...

When the Patton Tank famed for its bullet-proof body, got defeated, the soldiers got their due share of appreciation (maybe in a wholesale-deal), but the people who innovated the technology in a record time, and made this 'conquest' possible remain unnoticed, not just un-sung!.. Nothing prevented us from remembering them, applauding them, compensating them with possible-token-benefits... But the decision makers happened to patronise 'stupidity' which they so abundantly represent, of the voters, by the voters, and for the voters! Evidence of this is to be deduced from the speed with which the display of these 'tanks' was abruptly withdrawn! The victim's body can carry bits/particles of the weapon of murder ... (this is the forensic-science-prescribed theory).. The victim, the tank, when started receiving too much attention from not-so-casual looking admirers, the stupidity got discovered! Very much like the spiritual tools, the 'head' of the propellant needed a material that can resist a deflection and deformity from the material it intends to penetrate.. Mind deflects most of the primitive spiritual tools! The basic concept being kept in tact, the Master devices newer and newer materials to resolve this deflection/deformity weapon of the mind!...

......

The granny gave an unsought-for explanation!..

“He likes to read only news papers” she said, 'and not even toys interest him so much' she added (that was in case I am not so-much-impressed with her declaratory first-half..!!)

'Yes I can see' , I responded.... and added, 'that way, two things become obvious!.. He is so sure of what he 'knows-now'... and secondly, you do not have to bother about disposing old or even fresh newspapers (wait until it dawns on him, that distinction... I told myself!).. nor do you need a paper shredder while he is around'... (that 'paper shredder' bit, she couldn't grasp so easily, but consoled herself, that it had more to do with disposal of paper rather than disposal of her 'judgement-about-that-baby'...!!)... And I continued my observation as if I was viewing discovery-channel, while the granny got busy pounding the betel nut (the betel nut was a 'bill not acceptable in its present form' by her tooth less craving-for-betel-leaves mouth!)... her composure seemed to say, 'Ah... you try to learn from the kid—an outsourced way—but me, ain't I the producer's producer of that kid?' (that was the only qualification-certificate she needed to carry around that place, to have things, her-way!)... Jai Ho!

...

An elderly relative of mine, (related through my spouse), who had spent some 60 odd years, 'seeking' and was now so thorough with texts and scriptures, happened to stay overnight...

He insisted that we lay our beds nearby each other... It suited me well... It was the peak of my spiritual practices, and the 4th Saandhya-kaal, the meeting points held significant traditionally (two of them when day and night meet, and the other two when the day and the night peaks!),... that 4th saandhya-kaal was what I used to eagerly wait for, and his desire to have a 'sine-die chat' while the lights are not a problem, nor is the body's posture (lying down... he was a chronic and acute asthamatic!!!)... The chat was obviously matching the experience of mine, with theory of his-data-bank! He helped me to understand better about what was happening with me! (Almost like an automated search, experience-sensitive-search—not just word/case sensitive—and also assisted by a 'pdf-file reader' with an audio-video enabled monitor! Focus was effortless! Just listening with eyes closed, and watching one's breath! The very variation in the tone revealed the level of focus I had to adjust, while handling its slider within me! An experience within experience!

Surprise awaited me the next morning! He chose to miss the usual tablets, and that puff-inhaler, to wait for its early symptoms, which announces the choice of intensity of the assortment of medicines he carried in a large plastic box (light weight, the plastic container!)... I looked puzzled, and he seemed to await for that puzzled expression to make the “best of his observations ever!” (health-wise, it also turned out to be the most precious of his observations.. his health..)...

He said, “At least during the past two decades, I never slept so well...!” (and then he proceeded to explain, as to what constitutes a 'good sleep'... starting with dream-free sleep, enhanced rejuvenation of cells, restoration of nervous strength, drop in metabolic activity, etc... all this was from his 'well-read-memory' while the conclusions were based on experience of drop in symptoms of his ailment! He drew a deep breath, and said, 'See! It is so effortless right now!'...

He allowed the observations to sink-in-me, for a while and then asked the difficult question.. difficult to answer, not to understand the question itself.. “what did you do?”...

I went blank! He was very good at listening (even the 'blank'... He had attended several of lectures by eminent speakers like Shri JK-ji, ... silent speaker like Shri RamanaMaharishi, and the tough speaker like Shri Chandasekara Saraswathi (the only one of the few pontiffs, who are 'said-to-have-seen-it'!).. and others of the same breed!...

So, he explained further.. “I was looking at myself, my physiology, the things that I ate recently, the rate of medicines-intake till last night, the anticipated after effects to be expected, not disregarding the rate of travel during the past week, etc... and ruled out the positive effects of all these, while the negative effects had-to-bear-fruits!... By the process of Neti-neti... all the pointers seem to be directed towards you!” It almost felt like a public prosecutor effortlessly handling an open-and-shut case, just producing evidences, and 'showing' that arguments seem redundant!

“...Maybe 'through-me'....” was all that I could manage to offer as a counter-defensive! (Our law provides for insanity as an alibi, when all else fails!).... It worked!!! He did not choose to delve any further...

But I was left with a puzzle! That..... initiated a unique kind of self-search, and led to a distinct style of self-discovery! It served a unique purpose... it gave amazing insights of wonderful kinds! It 'educated' me on possibilities which are intangible to senses/sensory levels of perception.. it revealed to me that astrological studies are 'also' meant to tell us how to turn negative factors in our favour!.. It revealed to be, why certain people become unavailable to certain kinds of negative energies, while yet another set of similar people insulate others too (maybe consciously or otherwise... the uninsulated electric wire 'shocks' and electrician and a layperson alike, when contacted... the wire itself is innocent to the extent that it does not carry a fuse wire somewhere nearby it, to enable itself to short-circuit the energy it permeates!)...

It was only during our next meeting that I could manage to show my reverence to that elder, loading every bit of gratitude that I could gather out of me!

The next mission was to look at that tiny shrub we know as 'touch-me-not'...!!! And mercifully, it was in abundance in the land which 'naturally' patronises tantric sciences too.. We know that land also as 'God's own country'!... Certain places create a very congenial ambiance there for the 'process' of discovery of self (its potentials!)...

And so, I discovered that the baby who tears up the newspaper is just in a great hurry... We as adults, need not tamper the evidence always, and mutilate ourselves, in so many ways, further messing up our body, mind, and our future too, in the very process! (If we allow, a guide can step in... otherwise, we are the owners of the choice, always,... anyways!).

Psn (19th January, 2014)

Effeminate Grace!

If we are able to resist....

the temptation to 'pre-judge' any lack of something.... any hurdle towards that lacking...

at once...

as yet-another-attribute of some other 'quality'...

then,

we can try to look at our 'needless resistance within'... a negative quality, that robs us of our innocence,

that manifests often as 'Hate'...

as also...

a hurdle to our discovery of 'effeminate' grace within ourselves,

but not “necessarily” ...... “a sign of manliness ....”..!!!

The problem might be, when this resistance becomes sugar coated, when ... after we change its form (obstinacy-- a mind-level-resistance), and then embellish it with 'strictly' logic based argumentative justification of our judgements/conclusions/fore-closures-of-perception.. etc!

Effeminate grace! A very subtle quality!

And so, a symbolism which is 'likely' to come 'as close as possible' as an indicative example!

National bird.. “Peacock” (a coincidence?... dunno!)

Even its feather... 'seems' to represent ... durability, grace, strength (though subtle)... mystic colors (the composition of color-combination, invokes a mystic-emotion!)...

It adorns the knot of tuft of hair on the 'complete-man'... he doesn't even wear lot of cloth (leave alone a 'suiting'... he is just a kid!... a loincloth is all he needs to drape in!)... But, the legend tells that countless number of women felt drawn towards his 'effeminate' grace !

Peacock-aasana... Not too many even manage the 'complete posture'... Biology can tell us the strength of this bird's unique strength of nerves.. even a look at its disproportionately thin legs, and the burden of large plume, the body, etc... its alertness despite its burden, when it is the earliest to respond to a sudden shower of rain, the grandeur of its response, when the subtle shiver of its abruptly-spread-out long feathers, a challenge to even the 'best-of-our-dancers!!!

I lack poetic skills! (so please find a way to excuse my audacity/gustaaqui, of this prose form of narrative, which deserves a poetic-expression!)

psn (18th January, 2014)

Patang Ka Patinga!

“Do chaar patang aap bhi udaayiye...”

The title was so tempting ( http://www.speakingtree.in/public/spiritual-blogs/seekers/faith-and-rituals/happy-uttarayan )

Mushkil yeh hai ki

at a time sirf ek hi udta hai, hath doe hone par bhi....

Two patang/s on the sky, one in each hand... soch kar hi thakaavat mehsoos hoti hai!

The skill of kite flying gets tested only when there is hardly a wind... Take off problem! We get to see the 'frustration' expression on a kids face when they run to and fro in vain.... They give up for a while, only to try sending their hopes to soar sky-high, yet again!

In that movie 'Gods must be crazy part -3' the chinese hero demonstrates, how to fly a kite when there is hardly a wind... And chooses a tough kite... the parachute! And his partner is hoisted on to the chute... the take off is managed with the help of a bird that runs at a great speed... The hero sits on the back of that bird, spurs the bird to run fast... he holds a strong rope, the other end attached to the chute, and the still air around is made to work!... the air tries to block the chute which in turn spreads its resistance, rising higher and higher while avoiding the air-block!

And this hoisting this parachute was to take an aerial view and search for something, they were hunting for... to save the effort of a strenuous walk-around-and-search.. it was a desert, and they were stranded... no water or food... maximising of available resources, was the concept!

For me, the concepts came the hard way!

Born in a southern family, grew at a city where the sky is littered with multi coloured kites during the season...

The earliest attempt was to pick up a discarded kite... there was a string attached, and no claimants for that kite lying on the road side... I just tried, running to and fro, holding the farthest end of the string attached to that kite, about 15 feet of distance between me, and my hope-to-soar...

I felt it as a success! The kite rose up to my height, and thereafter just kept circling at that height... now the increase of speed in running only improved the revolutions, not the height! (I was too small to know the reasons, or even that this was not the limit!.. For me, at that age, that was the geo-stationery-orbit for my satellite! Only that, I was keeping a watch on the satellite, not the other way!... But yes, my being was at the 'orbit' a very small orbit—itself!

My dad took pity, he saw that there was no harm buying a 'good' kite... not a discarded one... after all the kids take the 'in-thing' around... So, the smallest satellite was financed, and the thread was just the ball that my mom had preserved from grocery packs (the 'packing' was old news papers twisted into a cone, and the mouth folded, tucked, and a coarse thread wound liberally around the cone.... (this packing was 'good only till you reached home'... the only 'qualification' that a grocer's assistants needed was speed at making such cones, winding the thread at maddening speed.. the coarse thread would break off, if the hold was not gentle!)...

But for a kite, that coarse and used thread was fragile, and heavy.. the curve due to gravity pulled down the kite instead of trying to persuade, and inspire the kite to lift off! (spiritual practices, if coarse, and fragile, burden and fatigue the 'spirit' though feigning to be 'with the spirit's spirit-of-game'!

Now, the assembling of the kite was not so perfect.... my dad had crossed that age, when observation of trifles are afforded that purity, unaffected by 'pre-judice'... so the finer points of that shorter length of thread at the upper junction of stem, and the longer thread down below, knotted at an optimum distance from the kite, etc escaped his grasp.. All I could do is just to keep looking at what the financier is doing (banker provided by nature---dad), and hoping that he 'accidentally' manages to do the right thing—almost like praying that our Finance Minister takes proposes a right kind of budget, against all known parameters (of his being 'elected' ), which defy a sensible logic, that it is sheer unfounded wishful thinking, nothing more!

'Your work it out on your own'... was the implied message, when dad's supervision ended... And financing of the 'project-kite' was all that remained to remind me 'did I not buy you a kite?' (The still-born 'projects' of politicians continue to serve the publicity-stunts....!)...

Discarded or looted kites were not 'tolerated' at home... It was like opposing charity from capitalistic west, due to vague principles which are held to 'just-oppose' anything that seems-to-be ... against 'socialistic pattern of society' ....

Now I had to design my own model of cryogenic engines... The earlier models with new-papers did not lift off even... and fell flat into the nearby puddle (like our failed spacecrafts that fall into a nearby ocean, quite harmlessly)...

I learn't... the paper had to be thin, yet strong... the stick had to be flexible with strength... The thread had to be thin (less resistant to breeze, and gravity!).. so, I set about to further -fine-spinning the same coarse thread, used bits of cooked rice grains to make fine-spun thread further-compressed ...

The last bit of 'learning' happened to stay to befriend me during my spiritual pursuits...! I had climbed on to the terrace, allowed the kite to drift as distant as possible without actually touching the ground, and while I ran from one corner of the terrace to the other-diagonal-end, I managed the twin task of maintaining the grip on the thread, while also allowing the kite to draw the thread out of my palm as-and-when it tends to soar higher and higher... and then at the right moment give a tug to place it into the next orbit, where... there is a gentle breeze to keep it afloat ! Now I could leave the terrace even, and control the kite-satellite even remotely, from my 'base-station' a safer place than the terrace---the front yard of home!....

Fine tuning of practices... the thread! The slot in the sky, where the kite is assured a support from the presence of a gentle breeze.... spiritual support at a higher plane of subtle perception.... the thread, the awareness, not too tense, not too casual, not to rigid, not too loose... relaxed, and yet alert! Wah!... The un-academic idler's sport of kite-flying was not so unrewarding after all! It was just about taking it a bit intensely, despite all odds!...

psn (16th January, 2014)

The spy camera concept

The concept is simple... but what it does is enormous!

There was a news... the latest one, as I write this... Spy camera sales is up in Delhi!

( http://articles.economictimes.indiatimes.com/2014-01-10/news/46066521_1_spy-cam-arvind-kejriwal-palika-bazar )...

Needs no elaboration when the dubious needs of nefarious ones got kneaded by the need-ridden aam aadmi.. We know... The story of 'Great Expectations”.. is being scripted yet again, right now!

If.... and ... When... life-seems-normal.... after it 'becomes normal'... due to this 'miracle' ,

I see ...

the scope for a new 'demand'.. for yet another spy camera....

not cost related...

but yes, more precious ... (only when the outside worries recede a bit, spiritual quest affords that relaxed-mode of intensity it demands, to move any forward!)...

...

the inner spy camera... 'turned and focused' only towards within..

located ... right within...

This one, the inner one... a bit complex.. at least till it becomes 'critical' in a scientific sense... (the nuclear power stations go 'critical' when it does not find itself being criticised)..

Initially, this inner camera just criticises, then justifies...

then... just suggests....

it evolves.. and evolves.. and further evolves...

It merely witnesses now!

(The commercial spy cameras become redundant to such a person!.. Perhaps! I Dunno, really!.. only a spiritual-guess!... The dimensional-location, of this inner spy-camera, it seems... they say... the elders.. that the change of this dimensional-location when it shifts, though the shift itself is only within us, the functionality undergoes a total transformation!... Ah! What a Cam! If it is so! )...

slyly yours,

psn( 12th January. 2014)

The Mind Block!

'How to block'... we teach each other so well!

Unblocking is relatively difficult (unless somebody 'made-it-easy' for us!)

I happened to see an interesting video... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hU-E_qPd6XM )

I wondered... why does it seem so wonderful?... It is just about how the lower temperature 'blocks' the T shirt from falling! It freezes the shirt (If Niagara's 'fall' can be frozen, what is a T shirt after all!)...

We 'seek' to block a child's 'discovery process'... the child's urge to seek... in so-many-ways! (The very fundamentals of 'up bringing' seems to hover around just that, one way or other, when we do many things, in our frantic search to find ways to protect the child ... the insulation ends up in also preventing the natural process of inner-growth!).. And now we have outsourced the 'blocking' to our dear education Ministry! The Minster blocks the traffic even on his way! Can't really blame him... he has to have 'his way' with everything, after all... The rule is make our way blocking all others! (Hey! This media is a big nuisance, of late!.. And who was that fool, who gave the idea to capture images on a mobile?... Jammers don't effectively block image-capture, right now!).

The bulk of the ancient scriptures, when it leaves a lot to 'our imagination', seems to be aimed at preventing such 'blocks' sealing our very quest, when it also 'declares' the experiential truth... thereby, adheres to the prakriti(nature), its rules, its concepts, and its values! Now, if interpretation of it is the only thing that we decide to rely upon, who's block is it... or... who is-the-block? Dunno!

Nature. Even when we say 'Nature', we imply a process that keeps going on.... rejuvenating itself, on and on... a never-ending-process... when one form is finished, it rots and resurfaces afresh again... It is 'his nature' we say, when somebody's tail cannot be 'effectively blocked' from curling back, even after years of trying-to-hold-it-straight!

We block the 'process' of a child birth when we do not want it ... The happening of it was really never in our hands! (Unblocking even, sometimes fails... when we try to 'finish up' something for a while, it even ends, preventing the 'un-finishing of it' .... )

Try blocking the urge to 'seek'... ! But why? We are already at it, quite unawares, most of the times! It is the mind-blocks, that we try to unblock, to reach that innocence within, already waiting, eagerly too... to just surge, and re-live that child-like-state, ... now and yet again, with full awareness!

(At school, somebody tried to tease me with a tongue-twister... “The big black bloke's back-block broke” ... 'say it fast, repeatedly'... said the other kid! And all I confronted was the blocks in me-my-self!)

At the other side of the block, (very much, perhaps!)...

yours,

psn (11th January, 2014)

Tryst with Trust

Professional drivers make a fist with their palms, tighten the fist, and bang it on the side of the tyre, whenever their 'attentiveness' permits them... (usually, soon after getting down from the wheel, or when about to climb on to it...)... They say, 'Just checking the Tyre, its air, or its 'condition'..' etc.. but 'essence-tially' it is about its trustworthiness...

The mother drips a few drops of milk from that feeding bottle, on the back of her palm to feel if it will not be too hot to burn the tongue of the baby, before bringing it close to the baby's eagerly waiting face even!

Logically we check, the trust worthiness of several routine things...

People look for that magnifying glass, to read the 'fine-print', the disclaimers, ... it is strategic management of trust-deficiency...!

Statesmanship, takes a complex turn when diplomacy gives a twist to that trust-deficiency, and the actions are half way towards a preemptive strike, and yet the explanations seek to vouch for its innocence! For example.... (quote)

http://news.oneindia.in/india/steps-against-us-based-on-reciprocity-were-not-hostile-india-1372885.html

"Our position is reciprocity, which is an evolving process. When we realise we don't have reciprocity on something, we do that (take that step). We're not hostile, this is an arrangement based on reciprocity," he said.
(unquote)...

But when the utensils in a kitchen seem to make a little more noise than 'usual', is it not 'an arrangement based on reciprocity'?... Dunno!

How to check the emotional trust?... By offering vulnerability?

How to check the spiritual trust ?... Forget that 'Guru's' trust worthiness, for a while... How to make sure that the meditations are really going to work?... Okay, it is a bit subtle.... But at least those awkward postures, the yoga aasanaas? What are the risks?... Is it 'really' safe to depend on printed matter, the 'do-it-yourself' kits?

What are we going to do with our own trust worthiness?... When we offer it 'just like that'.. it becomes 'vulnerability'!

Somewhere in between, is it not the 'resistance' that we got en-grooved into that is placing an insulation, into our ability even.... from understanding the 'trust' in its varied forms?...

Oh! To further compound this trust-related issues, the 'love' crops up as a 'conditional-trust' and complicates the relationships too inextricably! (Politics abounds in examples, and instances! 'Big' names seek to join the nascent political party AAP, just because they are not able to feel that 'comfort-trust' with other 'structures' in the 'present-form', while the new found trust of the aam aadmi scrambles to hold on to its trust worthiness .... the very 'conditions within' have not been able to insulate itself against 'virus-uploads' by opponents, when demolishing the structure seems too 'uneconomical' right now!

'Match making process' has inadvertently turned itself into a barometer instead of holding on to its core values of ancient days, when it was a culmination of trusts of all kinds, and thus never seems to perform its true purpose, with the onlookers just staring at it, unable to even note the fast-fluctuating readings that it shows off!

Power corrupts... is what we used to trust... but a even power-failure is corruption prone today!

The chase after trust keeps pace, .... with the 'created acceleration' that we seem to be so proud of, in the name of technological advancement, affecting the 'core of life' (the core of life, being ever unavailable to any kind of 'materialistic-technology')... and thus perhaps.... ensuring that spiritual pursuits do not get faded out... When the chase for trust gets too intense, and ironically ... the fatigued mind tends to 'give it up' for a while.... it does lead towards spirituality! (That was the 'hard way'... The easy way is perhaps, to try while everything is fine, and yet we are prepared to 'become intense about it'... but that calls for the climbing over of that 'breaking point'!!!)

Eventually yours,

psn (9th January, 2014)

Ancient woman writers

When I looked at the scriptures, one thing that struck me was that there were not too many woman writers....

And yet, there was abundant evidence that women were respected utmost in India, in the ancient days! Their contributions towards spiritual evolvement was revered, documented, and even suggested to the future generations....

We had several spiritual giants of a significant number among women of ancient days.. Just that, somehow the scripting did not seem to have happened by them to a very great extent, when we look at the available information!

Literacy was not in the modern sense of the term... The bulk of the knowledge was handed down by the word of mouth...

Yes, I could delve a little deeper into the 'scripting' aspect especially when it is about handing over the spiritual knowledge to the future generations...

A few popular names were....

(An indicative few instances...)

Avvaiyar ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avvaiyar )

Gargi (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gargi_Vachaknavi )

Meera Bai ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meera )

and then from other parts of the world ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Women_writers_(ancient) )

The manuscripts available do not provide any clue about 'scripting' done by ancient women...

If it is true, that there were very few who actually 'wrote' ... then it is interesting to note that the 'coverage' did not try to isolate the role of a woman away from spirituality-related-texts... It is the present day authors who try to 'make out something' according to their own levels of understanding... The well-known-spiritual Masters only glorified the role of women, in various ways, emphasizing the 'shakthi' aspect in all forms, living and non-living! (For instance, Aadi Shankara, who wrote about Goddess form Parvati, who interacted with a lady to be only challenged about his experience of a 'family-life', and then the gratitude towards his mother, when he kept his word to be beside her when she was about to leave, and also the rare invocation of special powers to give a respectful send off to his mother's mortal remains... all this are indicative of what he inherited from his own predecessors! )

The kind of lessons I got from my own elderly women of our family, (grand mother, great grandmother, grand aunts, eldest of aunts etc... most of them illiterate ), during my kid days, made a unique and distinct contribution to my deeper understanding of 'femininity' of a human form, and provided a firm base to relate with the references available in the scriptures at its deeper levels of spiritual meaning!... I wish I had also asked them the 'why' about a conspicuous lesser-presence of woman scribes in spiritual literature, when they themselves could supplement so abundantly to the 'pint-sized-me'!!! Now, most of them are physically dissolved(they are no more)! I am very hopeful, that the modern woman would evolve to realise their potential, and rise to such glorious levels that, their own 'protection' becomes a non issue, due to the reverence which accrues to them, and respect towards them becomes an inevitable outcome to their very 'way of being!'. Maybe, it is a long way to go... but with technology, and its tools, speed can reduce the time needed, to traverse the illusionary distance !

Psn (7th January, 2014)

Choice, choosy and choicest!

The toughest of the jobs perhaps, is about 'choices' ....

Once I swallow something down the throat, 'no more choices'... was what I felt...

Then there came a teacher who said, 'You should be able to tell your stomach... “Dear Stomach, I forgot to sit for meditation today... will you kindly press the 'pause' button for a while, and then press the 'resume' button when I have finished with it?'...

In that very same group of students, there was one amazing person, who also happened to be my colleague and a very good friend, who very casually demonstrates, how he can bring the water he drank just now, out of his throat and mouth the way it went inside! He added, ' I used to swallow small bits of food items, and just bring it out as it is, when a kid... a nice place to hide isn't it?... but now, I don't indulge in such things... doesn't make sense'...

Once we elect a politician, we have to digest the misdeeds even, of that politician (the 'right to recall' is right now far beyond our 'practical reach'... almost like we try to push our hand through the sleeve of a coat which was inadvertently stitched/sewn across the opening at the other end !)

A lady has a choice(when 'really' free), can have a choice (with a good spouse), and 'must-have-a-choice' (that 'must-have' is a 'wish'....when forced against her will, to marry an incompatible kind of spouse), about bearing a child..! A cocoanut tree does not have a choice about bearing nuts... Oh! ...for that matter, perhaps, couples of same gender too cannot boast of any 'such' choice ...

“Answer any 5 out of the following” said the top most line of the question paper at our school ...

Nothing unusual... except that...

a few of us started off with number 1 (it was the easiest... so why waste time, looking at all the questions?... only when something tough comes, look further down...).. But there were only 5 questions! Half an hour later, that teacher walked through the 4 class rooms, and asked 6th standard boys to raise their hands... (His choice was, to dictate two more questions to be added 'only' if there were a few raised hands!... ). The kids of 6th and 7th classes , section A and B were shuffled in those 4 rooms, to prevent copying from the very next kid... there was a choice to try and look over the next kid, ..... to the next-of-next kid....!!! Kids used to look at 'random-roll-numbers' when announced to find out the likely alternate kid at the exam hall.. the anxiety is very same, when we look at the berth in the railway compartment, the look in the eyes say it loud and clear! And if it is about a 'vacant' berth, that routine, impersonal dialogue-delivery by the TTE, uttered not-even-lifting his gaze, up from that crumpled sheets of charts, ....'Try the next compartments' he says,..... and we know.... he is only trying to remind us that the choice is more about 'deciding whether we are stupid enough'.... to really 'try' wading through that crowd, with all the lug-age/aged-cases-lugged, precariously at its loose handles, all the way to enjoy the jostling enriched by sneers moving within a moving train (almost like ... a person chanting ' I am meditating' throughout the meditative session, eyes closed, and claiming that his silent mind did allow a meditation, not aware of the crowd of non-verbal thoughts perpetuating his choiclessness!).

Dosa or Idli?.... asks the spouse... I say 'both'.. Earlier she used to ask 'why?'... not now... She knows!... She knows my choices... I have outsourced the 'choice' back to the batter... The same batter performs well as an idli between 16th hour and 30th hour of manufacture... but for a dosa, the batter has no choices... it has to perform! The miniaturised grains are anyways going to remain 'compressed', sealed by heated oil, until it is a very healthy stomach that can reconstitute the micro grains into a digestible form!

When 'trust' becomes a matter of a very a 'conscious' choice, at will, irrevocably, at the hands of the person who offers that choice-called-trust, the person who gives up that choice, evolves into a dynamic state of choicelessness!

(By the way... I was ... sort of ... joyed, when I heard a dialogue, by Shri Vikram seth, chosen by a choosy kind of judges, as the choicest of 25 'legends'... “His parting shot: "My advice for the next generation is choose your parents well." http://www.ndtv.com/article/ndtv-25-latest/intolerance-is-violence-says-vikram-seth-458805 )

Choicelessly yours,

psn(5th January, 2014)