Best Suicide!

Bhishma is perhaps holding a record about that!

....

The first time, when I heard the great epic of Mahabharata, I was an idiotic and ignorant kid... so that childhood 'innocence' was in 'good-stead' with me....

It is so obvious, when the first idea that stuck to me, when I was told that Bhishma had been given the chance to choose his death... was... “Hey, he is destined to die ONLY BY SUICIDE!!!”!!!

...

(It took a whole spiritual journey to inform me that any evolved person can choose to walk out of the body at will, not needing to mutilate it in anyway, like the kids smash the toys, when they do not find the 'switch-off-button' and the noise of that toy irritates them! We adults treat this body as 'OUR OWN TOY' perhaps, when we mishandle it, abuse it, each day, to our own fanciful desire-fulfilling-uses!)...

...

This Bhishma ji (my childhood way of looking at it)... demanded 'special quality water' even when he had decided to quit shortly... it was the first ever 'mineral water' mined by a drilling master none-less-than Arjun-ji!!! He asked for special pillows... creating records of sorts! ( I did not muster enough courage to interrupt the story narrator... my feeble great-grand-father's youngest brother, who never assumed any knowledge other than 'factual reporting' like our junior-most journalists!... he would simply turn to other side and slip off into sleep at such nasty questions, about Bhishma's character!)_

...

Now, years later, I was reminded of my child-hood-mind's those quixotic thoughts, when I saw a unique query about “Best suicide”!

...

I would not really 'persuade' somebody to read about suicidal ways! Reading my blogs might already constitute one such!... so, I just mention it as a quote, below the closing 'psn'...

yours dyingly,

psn

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130527233048AAd0zWs

The question:

Best ways to commit suicide?

i was a high school student and yesterday my result came...i got 80% and the marks are okay with me, even good....but my parents are not satisfied...my dad said to me all sorts of things which hurt me very bad...also i had four close friends and i always there for them leaving everything else behind...now the result came all of them have awesome marks except me....though i love them a lot and don't wanna do it but i keep resenting them...it hurts me....i am a disappointment to everyone....i'm just tired of hurting my parents, my friends.....whats the best way to commit suicide....????

Additional Details

first of all thanks for your answer....it is really appreciated....but i don't know if i can stand it anymore.....i just i feel so alone....i have lots of friends and i'm mostly there for them...but when i need them none of them takes my call....i grew amid much criticism n have a fragile self esteem....i don't have any confidense in muself...n only thing i love avout muself is my poetry but no one else like it...i have been daydreaming since i was in 2nd standard and now i want to quit but cant...my condition is so worse that i get surprised even at ordinary things like sunrise n sunset cause live in my imaginary world....i don't recognize my face my smile...i've lost myself....i love my friends but at times i feel i'm too clingy and annoy them n that i'm a burden....i'm a diaster at everything....i don't know why should i live.....

My answer:

I appreciate the 'spirit of competition there too!!!'
The seeking is .... about "Best ways!!!' not the "easy-ways" ...!!!
...
Well the 'Best' way is to keep doing 'our best in life' always, all-ways....
That way, the way to become best is already cleared... When we do our best, at all times, we improve at an incredible speed over a period of time!...
Nature adores those who strive to be best!... Nature will make our death too "THE BEST"...
Please see, when "best" people die, naturally,... people around always say... "HE LEFT US SO SOON, too soon... etc " (as if he had a hand in his death!... so the best suicide!)
Best ... wishes,

Hidden Fear!

“When I decided not to carry my sword anymore....

I did not know that even the sight of an empty scabbard with the other might scare me!”

(The embellishment in that quote is mine... the concept, from among many possible sources, probably my own genes even!)

Hidden fear.... (not the 'latent' fear, is why I was trying to speak of, among so many forms of fear, manifest, and unmanifested ones!)...

Hidden by us, for us, and of us.... We are aware, we have hidden the fear of the possibility of....

our likelihood of confronting somebody, when we try to counter somebody, consciously...

Encounters are another inevitable possibility....

Not to speak of our own episodes of 'fake-encounters' that we indulge into, with our own spouse, by a prior-mutual-consent, when the mutual agreement with the spouse is about the kid, who is all 'fear' only right now, and cannot sustain our scoldings directed straight towards them, and yet the need to deter them from doing something is too urgent (either we have no time to 'educate'... or the kid is too young to know our language.... I do not discount the intelligence of a kid any time, ever!). Please see, this domestic fake-encounter too, is due to a unique kind of fear... the emotional apprehension of losing the emotional trust of that kid into us, 'yet again'!!!

...

Was it the hidden fear, in me, which held me back at times, from countering an arguement presented by others?... Did I fear that person, or just 'for-that-person'?... Or was it sheer fatigue (an age related problem usually), when the mind is tired of having countered for so many years, for right reasons and wrong ones too? The mind feels tired perhaps? The energy spent for countering somebody, though a thought process, drains the energy a lot more times than when dealing with a receptive mind, which agrees to walk-together, not necessarily agreeing with everything and anything, but willing to see together, with an open mind, saying 'maybe... let me see'!

Spirituality ki shuruvaat-ne-hi... nikkamma banaa diya hai psn,

Varnaa hum bhi kabhi thae aadmi, ladaakhu janwar jaise .... !!!

( a couplet, crudely adapted from the famous one... “Ishk ne nikkamma kar diya hai Galib...”)

psn(27^th May, 2013)

Refusing Ignorance!

I had chanced upon going through an interesting discussion....

Some where in between, an assertion about 'I know' turned into “there is nothing more to know in it!”.... (I got 'scared' about that assertion, for that assertive mind which declares thus, though not in so many words, but much more vehemently, through subtle-message, to mean thus!!... 'Scared' is a popular word, to convey the sense of 'concern' for a fellow being, out of that compassion that occurs as an incidental by-product when we strive towards 'all-inclusiveness'... the striving for all-inclusiveness, yet again the road paved by the desire/thirst to delve deeper into the 'sense of interdependence with everything/everyone around!)...

...

I had read some where...

quote:

“He who knows not and knows not he knows not: he is a fool - shun him.

He who knows not and knows he knows not: he is simple - teach him.

He who knows and knows not he knows: he is asleep - wake him.

He who knows and knows he knows: he is wise - follow him.”

unquote

The first category:

one who knows not that he knows not...

Here we have two sub categories!

2a. The plain fellow, whose door is yet to be opened, since he is sleeping... knock his door, he wakes, and then 'knows that he knows not'...

2b. The fellow who is eyes-wide-open... but refuses to 'see' that the door is closed, and insists that the door is 'as-open-as' his eyes! .... very difficult to help him...!!!

When we keep learning... we might stagnate inadvertently, due to an illusion that 'Now we know all'.... it is then, that the vulnerability occurs.....of falling into that “2b.” (Saawan hi aag lagaaye tho kaun bujhaaye!)... To my knowledge, maintaining that 'awareness' at its deepest possible levels is the only available insurance, (other than the grace of the Master, Teacher, Guru, Guide, etc or ..... the Great Beings who are all-in-one!... 'all in one' in both the senses!)

May we be protected from the illusion that 'now, we know it all!'

psn(27^th May, 2013)

a post script:

(At our work place, we had a colleague, who often used to say, “I know.... I know...”

Over a period of time most of the people got tired of hearing this too often, the “I know...”!!! However, there was a chupa Rustom, a poet, who churned out a humorous one, instead of venting his frustration at hearing this 'I know'... I hope the original author will forgive me for copy-pasting it here... If he happens to read this blog, I can only 'hope' for his ratification by according approval of copying 'as of that date'... as we say often in our late vouchers of missed-out transactions in the books of accounts—belated entries!)

quote:

THUS SPAKE MR.KNOW ALL

I know, I know, but I do not know

What I do not know and I know.

What I do know, you do not know,

Yet what you know, I always know.

Alas what all I know

I do not know

But what I should know I do not know.

Now I know what I do not know

And what you do not know I never know.

Should you ever know whatever I know

I know all that you ever know.

Should you know what I do not know

You should well know what I know.

If I do not know what you know

You should first know what I know.

(Even if I say: I know, I know,

you should know that I do not know)

So I’ve decided not to know

What you and I should know

But never really know

Hence I am called

the very Reverend KNOW ALL

By all those knowers

Of Men and Matters All.

Be always a know all

Even if you know

Nothing and Nobody

In the world AT ALL.

(Chorus)

I know, I know,

But I do now know

What I do not know,

And already know.

Attention Span!

I have to be brief. It is about attention span (of the mind)! If I do not manage to get attention even about this, what is the point?...!!!

The eyes, while reading. Most of us agree, it jumps over from visual to next one (now, the contents, of this 'visual' may differ from person to person!... one person may read word-by-word... some, in groups of words at a glance, and an LKG kid, alphabet by alphabet). When it comes to pictures, the pixels are too many, and we miss most of them (we seem to 'see' the entire picture, but we only look at an outline, and refer to memory to name it quickly, and chuckle, 'I have seen it all!'... When it comes to that splash of paint using an uneven brush, which we call as modern painting, the eye searches for the 'caption' ... which is usually below the painting, maybe, for clandestine reasons, be-longing only to the painter-and-artist!

Some birds only hop... Some walk, one leg at a time... High flying birds usually hop... and we are envious that they soar so high, while they might be envious that we walk, crawl, slither, snake, and what not!

The mind...?

Does it hop, from thought to thought, or does it walk over, glide over, slip over, crawl over? (It is for each of us to decide for ourselves)...

But, if the mind instead of jumping along with the eye, from a group of words to the next one, while reading, chooses to go to the inner library, insist on searching for that badly-misplaced earlier thought-book, .... the eyes might still continue to jump on to the next few words, and keep proceeding.... (that is when we say, I went 'through-it'... and very diplomatically, omit to mention that 'sadly, it did not go through me!)...

I jump back to the title... attention span!

This time, I respect the reader's rationed quota(of attention span, of course!)

(for my usual itch, I can switch ... to comments box!)

psn(25^th May, 2013)

Relevant Love?

Is my love relevant?

A 'form' of the same question, that appeals most to logical mind, and yet belongs to the emotional mind!

The mind that asks such a question, is not even ready to compromise, to allow variations/types/kinds/likes/etc, in the love... !!! (It could have been about 'affection' that feels more comfortable, with all others, where 'love', when 'typed'(typecast), looks a bit inappropriate!... The interchangeability of 'affection' with 'love' was carefully omitted by the questioner!)

Instead, the question attempts to have grades of the very same love, looking at highest levels of love... !

That was what appealed to me, about the mind that asked this question! (It is the purity of love that affords us to distance ourselves from any negative emotions that might dilute the depth of love, the quality of love, the deep experience of love... So, the query was to find the touchstone that helps us to separate the forms of love that merely look like it, but are not it!!)

Yes, some example is needed to disallow any ambiguity about the query... They why look at embarrassment? Maybe shyness, a graceful response of reverential love could be allowed, but when it is about a question, even fear has to be set aside, with courage!

Let us see, if the answer could also 'look' relevant! (I suppose, it is the manifestation and its form that goes to create the doubts about the relevancy of it, where as, love as a quality of the very 'being' becomes relevant wherever it manifests, by sheer reason of its purity itself!!!)

Yours relevantly,

psn (17th May, 2013)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130512063102AAQW6hI

Often we say I love my mom, and I love my Gf. Does the use of word Love is relevant for both mom and Gf?

Love with Mom is attachment/respect and love with Gf is infatuation/lust. How we can use the word love in both the cases. Are we right?

My answer:

Agreed...
We should not use the word 'love' indiscriminately...
But do we have the courage to tell the Gf, 'look, it is mere lust towards you, and not the (respect)love that I have for my mom'!... We are lust-full even towards the word 'love' and therefore we do not mind disrespecting the word 'love', and we render it 'lust-filled' too! When dust and lust replaces the sanctity of love, true love becomes elusive... And then, the loving mom is sent to home-for-aged! Love becomes a relic!
...
We have to evolve, not the attributes of the word alone for us... to be able to 'feel' it...
That baby-kid, yet to learn alphabets, is full of love (I find it so difficult to look elsewhere, after my eyes meet that innocent face of the baby!)... But yes, that kid is not so self-aware as we adults.
..
Very valid and live question!

Conflicting contrasts, contradictions, confusions, concerns...!

I happened to blurt out thus, in one of my 'comments'... “the desire and the labour involved... actualising it... was a "conflicting contrast!"... a spiritually significant phase, that even we undergo too often and hence the 'doubts' perhaps!)”

...

And then on, the 'issues' of conflicts started pouring in!

I thought I might as well share it, so that some conflicts are/get comfortably cushioned within, consciously...

Contrasts are usually wonderful, appealing, and a bit 'easy-on-the mind' to look at... (we find some fonts merging with the background color, and we miss it... A wonderful lesson in 'camouflage and concealment' for army people!...)...

Now, if abstract concepts become a contrast, the problems can be 'other(is)wise(r)!

We say, 'contradictions cannot co-exist'...

There is a popular verse by a learned saint who wrote in tamil, “those who did not listen to a baby's babble, might say that a flute, or another instrument 'yaal' in tamil, is sweet to hear'....

Like wise, those who did not 'see' a few Indian couples managing to co-exist with day-to-day contradictions between them might say, 'contradictions cannot co-exist'... may we say so!

...

The confusions contradicting... we have all seen it on the KBC... when the choice becomes difficult... losing the 12+ lakhs, answering a question wrongly, or risking that 'nearly-well-known' answer and doubling the stake of win... each of the individual choices 'houses' a host of confusions, and ... some of those confusions are going to conflict with other confusions of the same house, or the house of another-choice!

...

Concerns... A kid wants to go to better school/college... Keeping the kid riveted to 'our-nearby-place' entails a bleak future (knowledge, exposure, and right up to job-placement)... Allowing a re-location to a distant place, might spoil the picture due to 'over-exposure', and the con-sequences might blind us totally in a near-future-itself (contrast to a distant future)... That kid might even re-locate the heart to some other out-source...

Scientists are deeply aware of these problems of conflicting concerns, when plagued with intriguing possibilities... They too, feel only a bit 'mellowed-down' and quite inadvertently misconstrue this logical composure to be some sort of 'humility' having crept in, and start bragging within... as a 'minimum-common-program' (on the look out for similar-egoistic-scientist!!!)...

...

(As long as I do not mention name-tags... their tags are my insulation.. what a contrast... and for a change, a comforting contrast!)

...

Contrastingly yours,

psn(16^th May, 2013)

That is all we know!

Wonderful thought-process....

And,

of all the people, our computer God saying it...!!!

“Just Google it”... is what we say, instead of dunno!

When 'saawan hi aag lagaye, usey kaun bujhaye”...

...

I got this message...

quote:

502. That’s an error.

The server encountered a temporary error and could not complete your request.

Please try again in 30 seconds. That’s all we know.

Unquote:

Teachers at a school, should continue to learn to say this afresh, each time “that is all we know”..

Good scientists keep saying it...

Receptionists (by what ever name, trying to help people at public-counters) should use this, instead of abrupt foreclosure with that too-unhelpful...'I don't know'

...

For the time being, 'that is all we know'

it opens up a possibility to 'Let us... know”

psn(13^th May, 2013)

The Dawn of a spiritual quest!

When "fear" in ALL ITS FORMS gets recognised from within... AS AN OBSTRUCTION... spiritual quest begins... when any quest is spiritual.... only the 'true' path appeals to the being... the mind finds an adversary too big to deal with!
Psn

This was my response to this blog....

http://www.speakingtree.in/public/spiritual-blogs/seekers/god-and-i/how-will-you-know-that-you-are-on-the-right-path

also a

Recommended reading ...

http://www.speakingtree.in/public/spiritual-blogs/masters/faith-and-rituals/tolerance-isnt-good-enough-the-need-for-mutual-respect

My response to this one:

My response to this blog is....
'reverence'....
way beyond.... respect...
the word... 'tolerance' utterly redundant/superfluous!!!
...
The key to spirituality is to be able to 'adequately respect' a sense of deep recognition of our interdependence with everything and everyone around us...
Then, (if this concept of 'adequate respect' finds any appeal..), then, tolerance-as-a-word, has a very restricted use. Least of all, for multiple paths (also known as 'various-religions')...
...
The theme of the blog is well contained, also in this statement... quote"by respect I mean acknowledging them as legitimate religions and equally valid paths to God"? She replied that this was "an important question," one that she had been "thinking about," but that there are "no easy answers.""...
...
Sir, most people just manage to 'tolerate' those modern paintings... few appreciate it... and those who are unable to appreciate it deep within, spell out superfluous appreciations the most!
....
The... mere 'getting over' of the... climbing over of the... 'tolerance-bondage', in itself, is a very significant step on the path of spirituality!
...
(We were fortunate to have a very 'intense' experience... when, mosquitoes are abundant in our part of the dwelling... no amount of smoke-repellents are adequate... when we squat for a meditative session, the bite of that insect is 'intolerable'... We had a teacher who asked us to manage a little bit of tolerance initially, and then become accommodative ... Only a fortunate few of us managed to find the 'injection' by its poking barely noticeable, when the dropping-of-resistance happened consciously, through conscious relaxation at physical levels too!... Then, I learnt how to relax, when the nurse pokes the injection needle to infuse the medicine intra-muscular-dose..!!!)
...
A very significant contribution, and very very very relevant to the very purpose of this forum!
Thanks and regards,
psn

unquote:

These two blogs, and the response it evoked within me, refreshed my own efforts on spiritual path!

psn(11^th May, 2013)