Perquisites haunt us in one form or other. High profile jobs abound them. But even those who feel ‘deprived’ of any such perquisite are feeling so, only in relative terms!
I do not intend to ‘dwell’ upon perks. Nor do I propose to evaluate them. But I was curious to look at how they affect our psyche!
I found myself to be a very bad example in dealing ‘appropriately’ with such perks right from childhood. Oh yes! At times, we do get that sumptuous offer even as a kid, when somebody offers chocolates, sweets etc with “Have as much as you like”. While most kids eat mouthfuls, and then fill up all the available pocket pouches, I was content with the normal quota of just one or two. Somehow, it stayed that way, throughout! Not that it did not occur to me, to make ‘full use”, of the rare chances available. And, I did not even find anything wrong when people utilized it fully. I did not find any need or scope to probe further. (In fact, I tried out that exercise of ‘maximum’ utilization of freebies, when I stood on the banks of Ganges, where the precious sacred water flowed in abundance. How much can I drink, and how much can I store! When I visited some grand hill station the fresh air filled my lungs, the landscape filled my eyes. Again, I found my limitations not even worthy of mention!). But, as I grew, I was bemused when people lament, having lost some ‘sick leave’ being unable to avail it prior to their retirement. It is called as ‘preparatory-leave’ though employers have named just three types of leave, casual, privilege & sick leave. This preparatory-leave is just to exploit the left-over of all the three types. And then, there are medical facilities, free food, beverages at work place, flights, etc. We have that ‘justification’ (not mere consolation) that free food during flight is ‘included’ in the air-fare. But, I had a rare chance to witness a well amplified contrast, when I happened to attend the Annual General Meeting of a prominent company and a private marriage reception on the same day. I chanced to see a few common faces at both the places. Refreshments were offered at the AGM as a routine feature, and the shareholders knew it well. As a ritual, people rushed to ‘occupy’ a seat in the dining hall adjacent to the conference hall, to ensure that they got the ‘quota’ of all the varieties of dishes provided. If they delay, the second or third round of serving may consist of just the bare essential dishes. The company had to keep the doors firmly closed, at least till the formal chairman’s report was declared as ‘deemed to be read’ and the dividends formally approved by show of sufficient number of raised hands! The contrast was when I saw a few of the very same faces at the marriage reception in the evening; they patiently awaited the ritual of being invited to partake the dinner offered to guests! I still hold on to the view that, I find nothing wrong in either of the mannerisms.
What baffles me is that people innocently forego another great perquisite that is ever available for them to ‘exploit’ to their ‘heart’s’ content. Literally! And it is very healthy for the heart too! The joy of smiling, the joy of sharing pleasantries, humour etc! It costs nothing to put forth a view in a graceful appealing manner. It costs nothing to mention an heartfelt gratitude for a kind act even from a close person. This perquisite of extra togetherness available at such close proximity (thanks to overcrowded cities) often goes un-noticed. We drift into our own worlds in no time, and then feel that loneliness too often. One has to just stand still for a few minutes at the pavement of a busy road to observe the faces of the people who pass by (either on foot or vehicles). Right from early mornings, the faces are a bit ‘long’, worry stricken. Only that towards the evening, the long faces also appears tired. That smile, that cheer is totally absent. Even the costly make-ups that women wear, failed to light up the faces. Now they have an additional worry, to retain the make-up till they reach home (the inmates at home never seem to have deserved the ‘beautified’ face! Women seem to insist upon maximum contrast when at home, as regards dress, hair-do and make-up when at home, with rare exceptions of course). Children, on the contrary, always retain that bright cheerful face! They are the ones who really enjoy this perquisite of inner joy to the fullest extent. When a train is late by say 4 hours, the adults painfully suffer the entire length of 4 hours, tied to their luggage on the platform, where as their children literally dance around (the whole length of the platform) while the 4 hours just fly past and the train seems to arrive so soon, when they had just begun to have fun! It is not just about the far sight of consequences of train’ delay, etc. It is about acceptance of inevitable, and then a conscious choice to make use of that ‘perquisite’ of extra spare time that we can seldom afford by choice! I don’t know whether it is always a coincidence that a cheerful person finds much easily than a worried and hurried person, while searching for some object. Wearing that worried look simply engages the alertness of the mind. The relaxed face affords better alertness. Cumulatively, this perquisite does and should matter a lot, even in logical sense, in terms of benefits of all kinds, rate of return, dexterity, productivity, mental and physical health etc! I am really not very sure, if there is a disadvantage too! A person could find losing that ‘grip’ over the inclination to look for small material freebies over a period of time. The inner joy might cloud the ‘logical’ mind, unless a situation warrants making use of some ‘freebie’. Obviously, we do not spit into all of the spittoons provided at the railway platform just to make full use of the ‘free’ provision, and despite the words being inadvertently, and too briefly mentioned, displaying “spit here”!
I do find it a privilege that I wish to ‘exploit’, in extending a warm invitation to your responses, feedbacks, brickbats etc!
Psn(13th Jan, 2009)
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
A good bad, of the Ugly.
Prologue: “I have, perhaps, only one Bad Habit—I have no Good Habits!”
(end of the Prologue)
That’s it.
Epilogue: (Sorry folks, it’s your turn this time!)
Either,
RSVP (in french, repondez s’il vous plait) meaning, ‘reply, if you please’,
Or
(if feeling lazy to respond, saying to oneself, ‘may be, if the situation is Grave enough’)
Then reasonably,
RIP
Regards,
Psn(6th Jan,2009)
(Post Script—please take no offence to the word ‘RIP’. It is used figuratively only, and very much in a lighter vein.)
(end of the Prologue)
That’s it.
Epilogue: (Sorry folks, it’s your turn this time!)
Either,
RSVP (in french, repondez s’il vous plait) meaning, ‘reply, if you please’,
Or
(if feeling lazy to respond, saying to oneself, ‘may be, if the situation is Grave enough’)
Then reasonably,
RIP
Regards,
Psn(6th Jan,2009)
(Post Script—please take no offence to the word ‘RIP’. It is used figuratively only, and very much in a lighter vein.)
Monday, January 05, 2009
Generation Gap
Generation Gap
Honestly, I am a bit unsure whether I am competent at all, to ‘talk’ about this!
Two questions could arise, when I say thus.
1. Then, why the hell are you now talking about this! (Well, if somebody is eager enough, it may be worthwhile going through this or allowing this to go through one, upto the end).
2. Why the uncertainty? (This question would occur to persons who are or who are also, a bit benevolent towards me. So, I give the answer, the reason, here itself—I was and am still, searching to find out the exact generation, which I belong to! And perhaps then, I could proceed to measure the gap between me and the people who can proclaim the exact hierarchical or sequential generation that they belong to!
In my experience, I found this ‘generation’ to be badly mixed up, at any given point of time. Badly interlaced. Children were ‘generated’ fast enough without a gap, and then leaving gullible like me seeking to identify the generation itself, before proceeding to take out that measuring rod to check the gap!
All this is not irrelevant or idle talk. When elders start noticing their ‘wards’ going a bit out of control and the usual ‘default’ words used for admonishing starts backfiring, this vague word ‘generation-gap’ comes to the rescue as a socially acceptable, mutually beneficial consoling excuse to push all our shortcomings under the carpet! (In all probability, the ward was suppressing his/her ‘second track’ all along, quietly putting up with senseless chidings/scoldings, saying to oneself, ‘wait, till I am on my own, and God willing, you will start leaning on me, only to then … (etc)’. Even in ‘decent’ cases, the children seem to ‘outgrow’ the parents ‘technically & logically’, thanks to the ever-increasing pace of competition, scientific advancements etc, and this elder now decides to ‘decently’ opt out of the game, silently acknowledging lack of ‘updation’ of self etc. The bulk of the cases thus being sucked up by these two or like types, leaves us with very few instances where the rapport is ‘wired’ at all frequencies (normal, crucial and ceremonial situations etc.)
We really cannot dispose/turn down this issue in a summary manner, if our emotions do not seem to contain itself, to sustain/tolerate this gap. Each case has to be unique and so also, solutions are highly subjective upto the point of diagnosis and objective in terms of implementation. Unless the implementation is objective, there cannot be a win-win situation, or even at least a mutual-benefit-scheme. Perhaps medicos would readily appreciate this point. Patients are ‘subjected’ to diagnostic procedure and hence medical students listen to their professors refer to patients as ‘subjects’ (In that movie, Munnabhai MBBS, our hero scores and emotional point objecting to patients being called as ‘subjects’ instead of that emotion-touching-personal names). After diagnosis, the medicines(if available) are prescribed objectively, ignoring the likes & dislikes of the subjects, their relationships etc.
This term ‘Generation-Gap’ is used so loosely (just as medical science refers to elusive symptom pattern as a ‘Syndrome’), that, even the inability to understand this term is itself often attributed to the existence of the very same gap!
I am perhaps the worst of the victims (or is it the best affected victim?!), in as much as finding myself a ‘misfit’ too often!
My sincere efforts to keep myself ‘updated’, invariably hurls me into the past generations deeper and deeper, farther and farther! Out of sheer respect towards fellow-beings, I find myself engaged too often in very gently ‘dis-engaging’ myself to keep out of the ‘way’ of others! The journey and quest on spiritual path has more than adequately compensated (nay, rewarded) me in keeping myself engaged more meaningfully.
When we are unable to ‘compete’, it is incompetence! When two vehicles of similar class are in a race, the winning of one depends on the driver’s dexterity, the performance of the vehicle, or both. Suppose the vehicles are a two-wheeler and a four-wheeler, there is a ‘generation’ gap. In movies, the hero bridges the gap and it is the weak villain who fails, despite being ‘privileged’ with a four-wheeler!
As if to compound the confusion, we now have generation in computers, mobiles (perhaps it is 3G for us, now), etc!
In offices, especially banks, the hitherto financial wizard (the officer-executive) is suddenly ‘outdated’ by a new entrant youngster, who pounds the keyboard fast, though it is merely about keying in a data or navigating about through the menu’s with short-keys at one’s fingertips (literally!).
In marriage gatherings, youngsters chat in clusters, while the oldies just manage to exchange pleasantries in homogenous groups! The generation gap is ‘observed’ harmlessly, and conveniently.
There are instances where this ‘generation-gap’ is felt a bit severely. For example, a father, retired, and so in no urgency, attempts to retain the profit or savings of having bought vegetables at a cheaper price, by taking the trouble to reach out to that distant and centrally located bigger market, and then, by opting to walk that extra distance or squeezing in a crowded bus, struggling to save the bananas and tomatoes from getting squeezed out too, while returning from the market. The son, now better placed, fails to persuade his father that now ‘we’ can afford the ‘cost’ of buying at a higher price from that nearby petty shop, or even gladly afford to pay for the comfort of a taxi ride to reach for fresher & larger variety of vegetables at that far away & centrally located larger market.
Both, the son & the father are genuinely concerned about each other. Each has a valid argument, well justified in isolation too. The problem is who has to ‘give up’ in favour of the other? Such differences cumulatively constitute a gap, termed as ‘generation-gap’.
It seems, Kubera, the God of Wealth, was once found stooping down to painstakingly gather a few rice grains fallen scattered on the ground. When asked to explain for this ‘miserly’ looking act, quite unbecoming of the ‘wealthiest’ being around, he quoted another situation where he saved a few lives, by using a few rice-bags to urgently block the flow of water, when no sand bags or other material was readily available to prevent the flooding & inundation.
So, bridging the gap of generation confronts more problems if we approach it subjectively. Objectivism demands a ‘balanced’ mind, to employ logic at its best! While senility blocks elders, from maintaining that ‘balance’, it is inexperience, time-pressure, stress-related-consequential incapacities that prevents the youngsters. Emotional bonds struggle to atleast postpone the resolving of that gap. When emotional values get ‘diverted’ and hence diluted (like soon after marriage), this gap widens, to now take a physical & manifest form of ‘dwelling’ separately even if in the same ‘apart’-ment!
Solutions are available, but again we have emanated as a cluster of dissimilar generations, going a bit beyond the easy ‘reach’ of those solutions! Yes, precisely so. There was a set of thousands of generations that lived through a full life span (of 120 years, then, for an individual), tasting the proximity of 3 generations upwards and then 3 downwards, becoming a ‘contemporarian’ to seven generations (including own) under one roof! (It is the 7 generations that are referred to as ‘Gothra-Sapindas’ in the enactment of “Hindu Law”). They had no problems of ‘generation-gap’.
It would take a few generations, to now re-create that kind of ‘seamlessly-interwoven’ society, where generations live through a whole life span without ‘gap’! All we can do is to First begin with building around an awareness like we do about the present day problems of ecology, noise and air pollutions, corruptions, global warming, deforestation etc etc.
A general problem is not a ‘Nobody’s’ problem! It is now everybody’s problem. We love our kids. Let us hand over a generation, not a ‘gap’ of generation, restricting ourselves to mere ‘family-planning’ as our only social contribution!
Epilogue:
Perhaps, (and only perhaps,) a significant factor which ALSO contributes to further widening this generation gap is, the ‘tendency’ to look out for ‘conveniences’ even at an ‘extra’ cost! A small incident which may slightly be out of context, would provide a humour, in a lighter vein. We had recently replaced our heavy kitchen-grinder with a modern table-top model. The lid of the table top was made of fragile-looking plastic. My spouse remarked ‘Oh! It is so fragile, requiring extra care while handling, I wish it were of some stronger material’. I was in no mood to delve into intricacies of cost-economics, overhead cost factors affecting marketability competition etc, and redundantly trying to support some unknown designer/manufacturer of that table-top. Instead, I happened to retort “ Would you also wish, that the new born babies were of ‘stainless steel’, to suit a convenient & carefree handling by you modern-working women?”. My spouse, at once realizing the folly, burst out into a laughter, exclaiming, “Oh God, No!” Thus, after a ‘gap’ of time (which seemed to me like a generation), I did happen to score a point!
Psn(5Jan,2009)
Honestly, I am a bit unsure whether I am competent at all, to ‘talk’ about this!
Two questions could arise, when I say thus.
1. Then, why the hell are you now talking about this! (Well, if somebody is eager enough, it may be worthwhile going through this or allowing this to go through one, upto the end).
2. Why the uncertainty? (This question would occur to persons who are or who are also, a bit benevolent towards me. So, I give the answer, the reason, here itself—I was and am still, searching to find out the exact generation, which I belong to! And perhaps then, I could proceed to measure the gap between me and the people who can proclaim the exact hierarchical or sequential generation that they belong to!
In my experience, I found this ‘generation’ to be badly mixed up, at any given point of time. Badly interlaced. Children were ‘generated’ fast enough without a gap, and then leaving gullible like me seeking to identify the generation itself, before proceeding to take out that measuring rod to check the gap!
All this is not irrelevant or idle talk. When elders start noticing their ‘wards’ going a bit out of control and the usual ‘default’ words used for admonishing starts backfiring, this vague word ‘generation-gap’ comes to the rescue as a socially acceptable, mutually beneficial consoling excuse to push all our shortcomings under the carpet! (In all probability, the ward was suppressing his/her ‘second track’ all along, quietly putting up with senseless chidings/scoldings, saying to oneself, ‘wait, till I am on my own, and God willing, you will start leaning on me, only to then … (etc)’. Even in ‘decent’ cases, the children seem to ‘outgrow’ the parents ‘technically & logically’, thanks to the ever-increasing pace of competition, scientific advancements etc, and this elder now decides to ‘decently’ opt out of the game, silently acknowledging lack of ‘updation’ of self etc. The bulk of the cases thus being sucked up by these two or like types, leaves us with very few instances where the rapport is ‘wired’ at all frequencies (normal, crucial and ceremonial situations etc.)
We really cannot dispose/turn down this issue in a summary manner, if our emotions do not seem to contain itself, to sustain/tolerate this gap. Each case has to be unique and so also, solutions are highly subjective upto the point of diagnosis and objective in terms of implementation. Unless the implementation is objective, there cannot be a win-win situation, or even at least a mutual-benefit-scheme. Perhaps medicos would readily appreciate this point. Patients are ‘subjected’ to diagnostic procedure and hence medical students listen to their professors refer to patients as ‘subjects’ (In that movie, Munnabhai MBBS, our hero scores and emotional point objecting to patients being called as ‘subjects’ instead of that emotion-touching-personal names). After diagnosis, the medicines(if available) are prescribed objectively, ignoring the likes & dislikes of the subjects, their relationships etc.
This term ‘Generation-Gap’ is used so loosely (just as medical science refers to elusive symptom pattern as a ‘Syndrome’), that, even the inability to understand this term is itself often attributed to the existence of the very same gap!
I am perhaps the worst of the victims (or is it the best affected victim?!), in as much as finding myself a ‘misfit’ too often!
My sincere efforts to keep myself ‘updated’, invariably hurls me into the past generations deeper and deeper, farther and farther! Out of sheer respect towards fellow-beings, I find myself engaged too often in very gently ‘dis-engaging’ myself to keep out of the ‘way’ of others! The journey and quest on spiritual path has more than adequately compensated (nay, rewarded) me in keeping myself engaged more meaningfully.
When we are unable to ‘compete’, it is incompetence! When two vehicles of similar class are in a race, the winning of one depends on the driver’s dexterity, the performance of the vehicle, or both. Suppose the vehicles are a two-wheeler and a four-wheeler, there is a ‘generation’ gap. In movies, the hero bridges the gap and it is the weak villain who fails, despite being ‘privileged’ with a four-wheeler!
As if to compound the confusion, we now have generation in computers, mobiles (perhaps it is 3G for us, now), etc!
In offices, especially banks, the hitherto financial wizard (the officer-executive) is suddenly ‘outdated’ by a new entrant youngster, who pounds the keyboard fast, though it is merely about keying in a data or navigating about through the menu’s with short-keys at one’s fingertips (literally!).
In marriage gatherings, youngsters chat in clusters, while the oldies just manage to exchange pleasantries in homogenous groups! The generation gap is ‘observed’ harmlessly, and conveniently.
There are instances where this ‘generation-gap’ is felt a bit severely. For example, a father, retired, and so in no urgency, attempts to retain the profit or savings of having bought vegetables at a cheaper price, by taking the trouble to reach out to that distant and centrally located bigger market, and then, by opting to walk that extra distance or squeezing in a crowded bus, struggling to save the bananas and tomatoes from getting squeezed out too, while returning from the market. The son, now better placed, fails to persuade his father that now ‘we’ can afford the ‘cost’ of buying at a higher price from that nearby petty shop, or even gladly afford to pay for the comfort of a taxi ride to reach for fresher & larger variety of vegetables at that far away & centrally located larger market.
Both, the son & the father are genuinely concerned about each other. Each has a valid argument, well justified in isolation too. The problem is who has to ‘give up’ in favour of the other? Such differences cumulatively constitute a gap, termed as ‘generation-gap’.
It seems, Kubera, the God of Wealth, was once found stooping down to painstakingly gather a few rice grains fallen scattered on the ground. When asked to explain for this ‘miserly’ looking act, quite unbecoming of the ‘wealthiest’ being around, he quoted another situation where he saved a few lives, by using a few rice-bags to urgently block the flow of water, when no sand bags or other material was readily available to prevent the flooding & inundation.
So, bridging the gap of generation confronts more problems if we approach it subjectively. Objectivism demands a ‘balanced’ mind, to employ logic at its best! While senility blocks elders, from maintaining that ‘balance’, it is inexperience, time-pressure, stress-related-consequential incapacities that prevents the youngsters. Emotional bonds struggle to atleast postpone the resolving of that gap. When emotional values get ‘diverted’ and hence diluted (like soon after marriage), this gap widens, to now take a physical & manifest form of ‘dwelling’ separately even if in the same ‘apart’-ment!
Solutions are available, but again we have emanated as a cluster of dissimilar generations, going a bit beyond the easy ‘reach’ of those solutions! Yes, precisely so. There was a set of thousands of generations that lived through a full life span (of 120 years, then, for an individual), tasting the proximity of 3 generations upwards and then 3 downwards, becoming a ‘contemporarian’ to seven generations (including own) under one roof! (It is the 7 generations that are referred to as ‘Gothra-Sapindas’ in the enactment of “Hindu Law”). They had no problems of ‘generation-gap’.
It would take a few generations, to now re-create that kind of ‘seamlessly-interwoven’ society, where generations live through a whole life span without ‘gap’! All we can do is to First begin with building around an awareness like we do about the present day problems of ecology, noise and air pollutions, corruptions, global warming, deforestation etc etc.
A general problem is not a ‘Nobody’s’ problem! It is now everybody’s problem. We love our kids. Let us hand over a generation, not a ‘gap’ of generation, restricting ourselves to mere ‘family-planning’ as our only social contribution!
Epilogue:
Perhaps, (and only perhaps,) a significant factor which ALSO contributes to further widening this generation gap is, the ‘tendency’ to look out for ‘conveniences’ even at an ‘extra’ cost! A small incident which may slightly be out of context, would provide a humour, in a lighter vein. We had recently replaced our heavy kitchen-grinder with a modern table-top model. The lid of the table top was made of fragile-looking plastic. My spouse remarked ‘Oh! It is so fragile, requiring extra care while handling, I wish it were of some stronger material’. I was in no mood to delve into intricacies of cost-economics, overhead cost factors affecting marketability competition etc, and redundantly trying to support some unknown designer/manufacturer of that table-top. Instead, I happened to retort “ Would you also wish, that the new born babies were of ‘stainless steel’, to suit a convenient & carefree handling by you modern-working women?”. My spouse, at once realizing the folly, burst out into a laughter, exclaiming, “Oh God, No!” Thus, after a ‘gap’ of time (which seemed to me like a generation), I did happen to score a point!
Psn(5Jan,2009)
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