Disrespect towards 'respectfulness'

“It is ironical Madam”... I said, in a serene voice, “that your counterpart had earlier done just the opposite of what you showed as a great-gesture!”....
And I added, “he was looking away elsewhere while he shook hands with an underdog, that is me, just because he needed to be done-with-it, as quickly as possible... and I was almost tempted to tell him, 'Sir, I didn't come all the way to your ivory-tower to feel the shake of your palm, then why ridicule a insignificant creature like me thus?'.... but somehow I easily managed avoiding a waste of time... he didn't deserve to be told !”

Now this “Madam”... got up, shook my hands yet again, but this time with a deep-apology, “who ever it was, I apologise to you on his behalf, and humbly request you to continue doing the good-job that you are already doing so amazingly”

This was the scene at work place, and that 'Madam' was a visiting dignitary from our Head Office... the local top-boss was thoroughly embarrassed at my abrupt dialogues, but he felt reassured with that 'Madam's' response, that .... he wouldn't face any 'music' for having appreciated my work to her, while the customary introduction was made.

I somehow got accustomed to not looking-out for any 'gesture' of respect from others... 'please leave me alone' is all that I pray, when I am intensely involved with something that 'deserves' great reverence!

Maybe, I am quixotic... and that is why I find that when reverence is trusted well, a show-of-respect can be dispensed with!

A few traditional outlooks coming down from ancients, also seem to hint towards such a 'theory'...

The distinctions between 'sakha-bhakti', daasya-bhakti'...(and other forms of devotion/bhakti)... seem to also-indicate the levels of 'reverence' where that 'respectful-gestures' are almost dispensed with!

When respect-related-gestures lose its symbolism, and get reduced to mere rituals, the possibility of this 'respect' to work as a tool towards imbibing a 'deep-reverence', towards the respected-something, is lost...

and now,

the 'vulnerability' is all about a 'disrespect' taking shape deep within, towards this 'show-of-respect' !

(I had a school-classmate , who was excellent in mimicry... he used to amuse us, by mimicking a show-of-respect, gesturing with hands, while the words that he mumbled was some colloquial abuse, but the 'flow' and sound of words resembled a popular form of respectful-words... He demonstrated it by acting it out, with a drill-master who was disliked by most kids for his unkind behaviour towards children.. This classmate , when I asked, said, 'No, I wouldn't do this with our dear teachers, for whom my respect is from the bottom of my heart!'... ).

When respect for 'elders' turned into a compulsive diktat thrust upon kids, (especially girl-children), into a 'respect for age'... that tool-ingredient in those gestures of respect got dull-edged, and the possibility of 'reverence', its nurture and growth got faded out , from our traditional customs, and now, these items of 'respect' look like subservience, slavery etc! Even idols were not spared!

Respectfully yours,

psn(29th December, 2015)

'Nature' for a dummy (that's me)!

Obviously, this whole thing is about me, with me, and for me too...
Then why the hell, do I waste a reader's time?....

I don't intend to...

But yes, there could be a few who do like to collect data out of 'specimen' like me, for their own study/research purpose (or, whatever!)....

'Nature study' was imposed into my school curriculum, but only in a combination with 'and Hygiene'... very soon, this nomenclature got transformed, when I got pushed into higher classes! Yep! That is how I am tempted to look at it, when the 'progress' report proclaimed me as 'promoted' instead of 'passed' to the next 'standard' :)

I happened to notice that 'nature' does push me around all the time! Weather, climate, air and its pollution, seasons and its timings (volume/duration of daylight ) does affect my own behaviour to a large extent, and I do struggle to keep pace with its 'pushes'....

Someday, it would not push me anymore...

This aspect ought to have been 'examined' by the 'scientific-community'... in-depth... with the reverence it does-deserve! Where as, I found a few unscientific/less-scientific people like Mr.Venkataraman delving deep into the intricate aspects of death, and quite understandably, nature obliging him with due 'pass' to the next level by its-own-standards! (Yes, I did hear about that Bubble chamber experiment, and the Nobel award it had fetched... but that did not take us the common-man too far... Maybe it is too much, to compare it with gadgets like a mobile-handset, which the scientific community ensures it's reach into the hands of even partially impoverished common-man! Who am I to pick 'faults' of the 'scientific' minds, when all that I managed all-along was a nominal-promotion !)...

That took me (to look), towards the ancients ! Mercifully, they do not 'adjudicate' me anymore, and nature has quietened them (though their silence has its perpetual effect in many subtle ways!)

The 'rituals' that they advocated (having practised and experienced it at humanly-possible depths)... seemed to be aimed at pushing the human-species into a level, transcending nature, and not by-passing it!.. It was obvious that the 'choices' that are bestowed by mother-nature into the very-human-form, ought to be revered, while 'formulating' these rituals!!! The declaratory truths were a sort of 'check-points' to guide a traveler on his way, to verify, if he had been maintaining his 'bearings' properly, and nothing more! These truths cannot be 'used'... one can only be-with-it!!! So, these declarations cannot be equated with the scientific formulae that one 'uses' to solve riddles of life, puzzles, problems of mathematics etc... The bulk of their declarations, and its explanations seemed to get inclined towards 'absolute' and therefore, ... to me .. they seemed to be like a 'possible' bridge for a willing explorer to travel from the empirical plane into the absolute one! (Oh! Absolute 'one'?... maybe, that 'zero' or shoonya seems more appropriate!)...

When this became a 'little' clear to me... I saw no point in trying to 'oppose' nature in anyway... But yes, I can strive towards becoming less available to the 'vagaries' of nature... And to me, even my fellow-humans did appear 'as-natural' as the other life-forms that I see around, since the choices we were given was a game-plan of 'nature' itself... Now if we choose to look at ourselves to be 'superior' to nature, ... well, that too is a choice!... And who else, except our own dear mind, that can decide so? :)

That .... now seems to help me to make 'well-considered-decisions'... having exhausted all my quixotic games, (out of sheer curiosity), to see what happens, when I 'ask' nature to oblige me at times! (and yes... she did... the mother-nature... in strange ways though!... after all, she too was obliged several times by her boss, the absolute 'one'!)...


quietly yours,

psn(26th December, 2015)

Honesty within

“How to get rid of that guilt-feeling?”... somebody asked me!

Being honest about it... (was the 'logical' answer which would give me a 'win', but would be of no practical use for that asker, since... it was already-that-honesty .... about-it,..... which had even raised that guilt-feeling :))

Now, 'accepting' guilt doesn't help... in fact it worsens it... Yep! I am truly-guilty, is what that 'acceptance' does!

Oh! these terms.... 'honesty'.... 'about it'... 'acceptance'.... they at times add to the confusion, instead of solving it :)

And that 'guilt'..???

Yes, it is used profusely in a court of law....
The Judge is eager to know, whether the 'convict'... pleads 'guilty' or 'not-guilty' ?

Some provision of the law is .... flouted/contravened/disobeyed/or-whatever... and therefore some word is needed to define that 'going against the law'... the word 'guilty' suits fine!

But why do I 'find' myself .... so-guilty... when the dinner leaves a left-over?

Yes, I did eat lesser than usual.... and I have my very-strong-reasons... obviously all of them only-in-my-favour :)

“only” ? (in my favour)....
There is the catch! I convince the 'other'... thoroughly... but I know too well, I was 'guilty' of contributory-negligence :)

Thus we (perhaps), keep accumulating that small doses of 'guilt'... unspelt thought forms... which erodes our own integrity unto ourselves... deep enough, .... and one day, we find that we do not trust even ourselves!... We still keep trying, saying that we have 'reasons beyond our control' (meaning, we rendered ourselves unto.... 'no control on our-own-selves'...).

A chain reaction is set into motion thus! (maybe, it all started with 'trying-to-be' on the right at all times!)

It made me wonder now!

In the ancient times, nobody enjoyed any 'rights'.... (the way we assert it against the government, quoting constitution of the Country, democracy, etc...).

Instead, there were only the 'duties'... when people recognised ... they owe it back to whom they got it from, what they had! (it all boils down to 'nature'... when everybody and everything was a part of nature)... And when we find bound by duties... duty-only.... the others around have it from us as a sort-of-right... a privilege... from us . Yes, they too in turn, do something similar! Now, that reduces the need of litigation to a great extent.. The bulk of what we call as 'administration' and/or governance... is just about ensuring the right for an individual, from the rest of them around, collectively! Taxes, licences, security-structure, reservations, .... all these are rights of an individual, to be snatched out of others around! And we individuals hand over our 'so-called-rights' into the hands of a few... whom we trust, quite helplessly! (that's democracy :))....

And we scratch our heads, to find out why the 'society' is so-corrupt, and where we went wrong, etc... Till we 'find' it out (our wrong)... a question of that 'guilt' doesn't arise at all! :))

So that works well!

Confuse ourselves very consciously, skillfully... pile up a lots and lots of contradicting 'adages', and escape that 'guilt'!...

Unless there is a 'provision'... framed.... by ourselves... and we disobey it... where is 'guilt'?

(“Sin”, seems to precede a guilt... so create something.... define something that constitutes a 'crime' when that 'created-something' is not complied with... now call it either a 'sin', where law has no say .... or call it a 'guilt' , where law says-something :)..... And, when something is 'as-per-law', only an authority can forgive... but when something is 'escaping' the laws... anyone can forgive, usually it is ourselves!

Interestingly... the ancients did not coin an appropriate word for things like 'forgive',... 'guilt' ... etc... (the sense of duty dominated so strongly.... they obviated the need of adjudication by others around... and had the 'good-sense' to trust others, when own adjudication seemed lacking that depth-of-perception, to get to the 'real' bottom of the truth!... )
We find in those scriptures, only the 'declaratory-truths'... leaving it to the choice, entirely to an individual... whether to explore, and then accept it, or to ignore it! So, it was a bad choice, or a good choice... but not a guilt!

At any given point of time, if I do my very-best... what else can I ever do? (that is being at least to an 'animal-level'.... and then, ... hopefully,.... I would evolve beyond the animal level) :))

Guilt-edged, yours,

psn(10th of December, 2015)