Abstraction, thou art the architect of distraction!

I saw a question, which did not attract many answers!
Please take a look at the question, and let it have a try at how you feel about it!

The question:
Quote:
How can i break an embarrassing habit?
this will sound weird, i know.. my problem is that whenever i socialize with people, i tend to divert my attention from the person am speaking to into another thing, thus i lose focus. when i am at a friend's house, and they bring food, i then start thinking of the food in front of me and cannot remove this idea from my head. it is important to mention that in fact do not care for the food or desire it, but i have this habit to shift my attention to it when it is present. the embarrassing thing is that friends notice that am thinking of the food, and thus i look like a dump. my habit does not reflect me, i do not care for food! PLEASE help me overpass this because i cannot enjoy my life unless this habit is gone forever.
Unquote:

My Comments about the question….

Looking at it the other way around, quite often, we do feel the difficulty in retaining the other person’s attention upon what we are trying to say!
Most of the teachers who are given those ‘dry’ topics to be delivered to students, know too well this problem.
We accidentally happen to land at some auditorium, where it turns out to be a philosophy-talk, especially those involving interpretation or commentaries on scriptures, religion etc. If it is a technical subject which contains mostly jargon, then we really had it!
Even the refresher courses at training centers arranged by employer-organizations usually turn out to be ‘lullaby-talks’! (I dread to think of how embarrassing it must be to the speaker who would have so painstakingly prepared for the lecture, and in his anxiety to ‘squeeze-in’ maximum of essence into the little, allotted time-slot, missed out the vital element of ‘how to ensure riveted attention of the listeners’!).
When we make a courtesy visit to friends and relatives and the somebody strays into details of something abstract, the group slowly disintegrates, and it is ladies mostly who take the lead to lead people away! Not that the ladies are less capable, but at social gatherings, intense discussions are the last thing they prefer. They focus more on pleasantries, family enquiries and other ‘light’ subjects. We find that few people who are a bit oblivious of ‘fellow-considerations’ getting isolated as soon as they get ‘identified’ as potential threat to ‘lively’ gatherings!

But, when it does matter to us, to focus when needed most, some of us find it too difficult, and some of us find it a ‘lucky-day’ when we are able to focus better! It is here that I find scope to discuss; keeping in mind the positive effect it could have on growing children, if they are given a little bit of focused attention about how to focus attention!

Experts at communication evolve their own tailor-made techniques to ‘get’ attention to the theme and usually, they succeed at holding at least undivided attention of most of their audience. They introduce an element of humour, or an example that can be easily related to something that can be readily visualized. Deviation or digression from the main theme steals away the purpose of talk. Distraction is a double edged sword. It defeats the speaker and the listener, and in many ways too!

Let me proceed with the answer I gave:
Quote:
http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArJDIfcjCbWNfuzTcV9qZFqQHQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20091124014518AAMUvdn&show=7#profile-info-PXrgflL7aa
Perhaps, it is just that 'abstract' concepts are still a stranger to you. There are a few who have this problem. During discusions, it is usually mere exchange of words, and nothing tangible is placed before us to focus attention. That is why when something like 'food' is placed before us, the mind uses 'food' to get away from abstract 'words' (not that we are really too much interested in food!).
This is not a uncommon thing. When children are taken on a visit to see people who are total strangers, they have very little to 'converse'. They give briefest possible replies to questions, and try to remain silent. If a TV is now put on, their attention gets focused on TV, irrespective of any trash program that is on. Now if a new question is put to the child, it takes time to grasp the question, and gives not just a brief answer, but sometimes an incomplete reply too! (Try telling very interesting stories to children while they are just given a bowl of something they love very much to eat--like noodles etc, they may not be able to focus on the listening to stories!).

As grown-ups, we are aware of 'social' obligations, and that is why we feel embarrased due to our inability to focus. Once this is clear, we can now consciously attempt to focus on 'abstract' things, and soon this problem can be got over. It is not a very serious problem. Best wishes.

Unquote:

The approach to the problem, as also the possible solutions is multi-faceted. It would be a drudgery to delve into all the details here.
But it would be indeed very useful to bring the ‘issue’ into focus, and inculcate the ‘element’ of a possible conscious application of mind at will, to be able to handle abstractions better. Concepts are what we hold as our everlasting assets, to dexterously handle life situations!
Regards,
Psn (28th November, 2009)