Yackety-Yak

Those who know me a bit closely would really try to avoid me when they do not have enough spare time or more aptly ‘cushion-time’. That is just because they are yet to learn as to ‘how to get rid of me’ after having collided with me inadvertently! The reasons for trying to get away are varied, fortunately. And the most unbelievable part is that I was a notoriously quiet person for the first half of my life!

Anyway, when somebody asks a question about how to get rid of being branded as a quiet person, I feel quite appropriate to provide a few of the ‘tricks of the trade’!

It would not be out of place to also remind ourselves, that it is worth looking at what kind of conversations do not cause any fatigue to us, and the other types that seems to cause a ‘traffic-jam’ in our heads, or some ‘can’t-stand-any-more-of-this’ type of talks. We seldom seem to be tired of ‘listening’ to our own ‘crap’ manufactured right inside our heads!

All this is going to shape our attitude some way or other.

There is a chain, which is wonderfully described by some great being thus:

Quote:
Watch out!

Watch your thoughts, they become your words.
Watch your words, they become your action.
Watch your actions, they become your habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character,
Watch your character, they become your destiny!

Unquote.

So, that was it. If possible please see if my reply seems to be helpful for that asker to convert into a talkative person. (And, for me, I would love to hear the ‘know-how’ for getting reconverted into that shy-quiet-person once again, before that eternally-silencing mechanism takes over!)
Regards,
Psn(28th June, 2010)


http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100628060132AAhQwZ4

How do I not be a quiet person anymore?
I'm known as a quiet person and I hate it. When I talk i want to be heard. I want to be the person revolved around the conversation. Please, just tell me what i need to do to be mentally and physically able to be talkative, not shy, and definitely not quiet. Thankyou soo much, you don't know how much this will mean if you give me a good answer. :D


My answer:

Well, that "when I talk i want to be heard" is the problematic area, which is perhaps why we have been talk-shy (not really shy).

Please try to look at the 'content-value' of most of the conversations. It is almost loud thinking. Try writing down every thought that occurs for next 2 minutes. It would take about 20 minutes to write down. Then we have a glimpse of what a mind can do! When we try to spell it out, some censoring is needed, to make it 'socially acceptable'. Some people have managed to 'switch on' certain 'topics' which are quite safe, acceptable, pleasant, and popular. The 'widgets' in the mind keeps updating those topics, and all that is needed is to access that file, and play the file, from memory, connecting it to the mouth-piece (our vocal cords!).

In your case, perhaps, you may be tuned to speaking only according to the need of the situation, more than the need to branded as a conversational-type(talkative) of person. Such people, when they try out to sincerely give relevant details in a long talk, in reply to a simple query find the listener not 'any more interested' after the few preliminary sentences (by which time, the asker of the query has discovered the 'brief' that he/she wanted to know 'what it is all about'), and is eager to jump to chase the next thought/query. Once we master the art of talking something of general interest, which does not mean much, which does not matter much if paid scant attention, then we would find eager listeners everywhere. Now, it does not matter even if the situation requires us to drop the conversation even in the middle of a sentence. But here the problem is, we have to sift conciously the people with whom we manage such 'filling-up-the-time-gap-talks' and serious meaningful talks. Otherwise, the relationships would fade too soon (the trust enjoyed hitherto might get diluted). Those people at "may I help you" counters give crisp, brief replies, which invariably seems to leave us only half-satisfied. This is because they are fed up with people leaving the counter half-heard, once their casual half-hearted, disinterested queries evoke the 'head-line-news' type of answers. The problem of the staff at such counters is that they are scared to give out details, fearing that treatment from askers, walking away hearing half of the sentence as if to say in return "please keep the rest of your reply in that trash can... I got what I wanted to know"... They become 'mechanical' and stoic in their attitude very soon.
All these details is to come closer to the clarity about how to become a successful talkative person. After some practice, it would be nice to spice the conversation with punch dialogues, laughter evoking bits in between to keep the other's attention rivetted at our talk. Salespersons who are stuck with slow moving products are quite good at it.That "I want to be heard" depends upon "how much of what I talk is going to be liked by the other". If we start narrating our woes, the other person cannot withstand a minute of conversation. But the other way round, just try listening to the others nagging problems for fifteen minutes, and the other would report you as a good conversationalist (though all that you uttered for these 15 minutes might be just "Hmmm... Hmmmm" !!
Best wishes.

Dead-Lee and crazy dream

We all know that one day it is "going" to every one of us. Death is the only certainty in this life.
And all that blah-blah-blah….

I spare you from the rest of routine things we heard enough number of times.

Somehow, I felt that it is a bit rare to find a person talking about a dream where he /she finds himself ‘dead’! That makes it a bit interesting and worth looking at.

It would be nice if you happen to find time to ‘think’ of ‘trying’ to prepare for a journey that is of a relatively longer distance. Usually, the longer the distance we travel, more the ‘preparation’ that we undertake.
Regards,
Psn(28th June, 2010)

The question:
http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100627203633AA1o1xg

I had a dream about being dead... what would this mean?
recently, i had a dream that i was dead. i do not know how i died but i was dead. i came back onto earth and could see everyone and everything going on. it was as if i was there but no one could hear me, see me, ect. the whole dream i spent trying to get people to acknowledge me and it didnt work which frusterated me. at one point i wanted to attempt suicide but suddenly realized i was already dead. at the end of the dream i found a way to connect to people on earth and this was through a phone call. at last i was about to make a phone call to my dad but that is when the dream ended. crazy dream...does anyone know what this dream means or signifies?

My answer:

Well, there could be two possibilities.



One is the popular and common one. That it was just a dream. A concoction of all the ideas that we have in our memory, spilled out during a relaxed-sleep-state where 'undigested' thoughts get processed by the mind without a 'driver' in his seat to hold the steering. We just remember the scary or very pleasant moments of such dreams where emotions are felt deeper than the unbridled logic. Most psychologists would agree on this theory, but with better concepts and technical words, due to their deeper grasp of the "science".



The second one is a very rare possibility, and yet very much a close possibility. Too many things could have coincided 'favorably'!! Even grasping this possibility (its concept) is quite difficult, leave alone trying to accept it. It is the choice of words and narration (its innocence, in particular) that prompts/persuades a mention of this possibility. It is a case of 'sleep' in a bit deeper state of awareness, where the mind is withdrawn for a while, the sense organs withdrawn(as usual in deep sleep states), and yet the 'being' is quite alert and aware to 'watch' ("witness" is the word that comes closer to better description of 'watching' here) the self. There are meditative practices to reach this 'wakeful-sleep' states. The idea is not just to master yet another super-human capability to brag around. It is a great need for spiritual evolvement. It helps a person to retain awareness of one's own 'original' or rather 'natural' state (stripped of all attributes that we get stuck to with the materialistic possessions including body and body-oriented-traits). The narrative also seems to indicate that 'chance' occurrence of 'unique-self-awareness'(not just the normal "I" memory post dream), during the dream state. That is why there is that feeling of the dream being 'crazy'! Mystic looking things also seem 'crazy'. There is nothing much to do about it or to worry about it, unless the experience has impacted deep enough to nurture a 'thirst' into spirituality!. (Though the 'source' of this answer should not make any sense or significance to the reader, it is the experience of having gone through such meditative practices several times! Something utterly an eastern cultural heritage--Indian spiritual Tradition!).



Thanks for sharing this 'crazy-looking' experience. Best wishes.

Accountability Redefined

It actually calls for a celebration, when a question like this comes up! If it so happens that more of this kind of people happen, or if people shift towards (and retain) this attitude, then, politicians, lawyers, courts, judges, laws, enactments, tax enforcement agencies, investigation agencies, why…. even insurance people…….. all these would find themselves out of business! These are the professions which actually ‘thrive’ on our inability to look beyond ‘accountability-oriented-attitude’. (Please see, within a well-knit-large-family, though very few are there are any left by now, these parasitical functions are redundant. Everybody is adequately responsible!)

I request your kind attention to the question, more than anything else, and try to view it as our own quest (not just a question, or a casual-time-pass-faq’s), and then try to see how we rank or how we can rate ourselves, if this were to be our real experiential search-and-seek-question!

My answer is not worth a dime more than an attempt to ‘re-assure’ the asker that he / she is right on the track to something far more precious than the comforting thought that this is a right way of looking at things! So the emphasis is on ability to retain this question right into our on-going-basis-priorities. The askers ‘beautiful mind’ is clearly seen in the innocence of the choice of words!

Psn(27th June, 2010)


http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100626170413AAOSWOD

In some way or the other its always WE who are responsible for whatever that happens to us?
Even if others are responsible and even if its no fault of oursI mean, we always say and cite others as a reason for our mis-happenings but its still we who allowed them to be that reason even though we may be valid in holding them as culprits,even though its totally not our faultWhen others do something to us and even if we are right and they are wrong, its still we who allowed them to do whatever they did to us.For the moment I'm not saying that you have to be careful with people,not trust them at all and blame everything onto ourselves allowing people to get away,just saying accept whatever that comes to us as our own making ,in that way, you wont have regrets as whatever that happened to you was because of your decisions and you hold responsibility for it,also it reduces the level of hatred we are bound to have on others.You dont have to think "Oh,its because of him my life is in total jeopardy", instead you can think "Whatever it was, I allowed that person to make it this way,it was my decision,but it was based on what I felt at that moment and it was quite justified in doing that ,so lets have no regrets "That forgives myself as well as the person in questionWhat do you think?


My answer:
Yes!That is the way of looking at things positively.
It expands the scope for positive action.
It opens up the possibility to do something about anything!
It affords us to look at "responsibility" in a better way .. that is "Response-Ability" instead of the Traditional view of "accountability".
Progressing thus, on this track, or groove, sooner or later, we would realise that we do have the capability to 'prevail upon' and influence others to respond to all the situations with positive actions, instead of merely reacting, and thereby, obviate the need to disown the 'inability' about doing something for anything and everything around! The best part is, this attitude affords us the transformation, which allows us to experience at deep levels our strong inter-dependence with everything, everyone around! We then get over that 'divisive' choice, and more towards the ultimate freedom of choicelessness! Best wishes.

The Knotty Naughty comparison

Even a casual announcement of the result of a neighborhood child (He came first in his class!), evokes a burst of protest from own child “Please don’t EVER compare me with others!”…. This is a ‘preemptive strike’.

“She is so beautiful…” invokes a retort “which means to indirectly point out that I am ugly”.

“He is a very efficient worker”…. “which means, my case is closed, for a pay hike/ request-transfer/ promotion/etc”.

We know how safe it is to preserve the lavish praises till the obituaries! Even a mother-in-law qualifies!

Even a remote similarity or a coincidental reference to anything that comes any where near a “comparison” sparks that intolerance within those people, who balance their emotion with a heavy load of ‘trust-deficit’. Yeah! That is the ‘catch-word’ now… ‘Trust-deficit’. As long as we are willing to succumb, the media would commercialize any emotion, and dump us into an abyss of emotional deficiency, we would notice it too late, being so well addicted to ‘deficit-financing’ at all levels, starting from small nuclei-family to Union of States!

Intolerance is just the other side of the coin that is not shown publicly quite often, but invariably ends up into jealousy.

What to do about this naughty problem of ‘comparison’ which makes it more knotty, whether we loosen it or whether we tighten it? Yes! We can’t do away with it too, the ‘comparison’. We feel great comfort, when the doctor says, “compared to yesterday, my patient, your dear close relative, is far better today, and I am quite confident now that I can save his life, and he would survive, and even become completely normal” (majority of the words are results of comparison—my patient, your dear/close, life-saved-not lost, normal-below-normal, etc.

It is so simple that we would not even reach home after work, if we fail to compare the image of the correct route from our memory, while we look out and choose the roads, the turns, the land-marks, on our way back (reminded of dementia, eh?). How miserable we feel, when a very close person fails to remember us, and respond, just because our face, voice, image, etc bears no resemblance to what is stored in that person’s memory due to the long gap of time! Even the stupid computer needs at least one common ‘comparable’ data field, to match and then co-relate the additional inputs to the ‘base’. So, our memory too has its data as a ‘base’ which is quite bas-ic to know anything further, knowledge is from ‘known-to-unknown’ a process of compare-contrast(At school, these ‘compare and contrast’ questions were quite easy and almost like a life saving drug to fetch some marks at least, when we fell short of our target-scores!).

It is the wrong comparison of priorities that lands us in needless deep trouble (Oh! Had I not insisted on yielding to that stupid itch for a cup of coffee, I would not have missed the last bus! Anyway that cup of coffee was insipid too!).

This ‘comparison’ is a weapon that fires both ways, and always. The solution is not a one-time-patch, but essentially the periodic and regular cleansing of ourselves of that negative emotion called jealousy (which can also be referred to by a more easily acceptable name, intolerance), on an ongoing basis. This would give us the freedom to liberally extend our trust to others, whereby they can choose to freely give their opinion, and then, we have the choice to see how their intelligence ‘compares’ with the requirement of the situation, about which they opine, and also how other relevancy-parameters compare with priorities of the situation, effortlessly superseding our own highly-subjective-oriented negative tendencies (polarizations, to be more precise).

With commendably comparable regards,
Psn(19th June, 2010)

Most prized question

Yes, at least once in a while, I feel entitled to ‘honor’ a question, for the sake of that reward of joy that comes from the very act of honoring! (We feel fortunate that we are ‘capable’ of acknowledging something great! When that happens, we can mumble ‘wah wah’ even within ourselves, to avoid complications of others overhearing it, and insisting on ‘explanations’).

As I mentioned in my answer itself, I really did not expect ‘this’ question so soon, though the turn of the minds of the present youth seemed to be heading towards something like this. Having answered, I gave in to my curiosity and looked at the profile of the asker from the link given and it reassured me, now. Had I looked at the profile first, I would not have attempted to answer, knowing well that I do not merit the eligibility to trample on the sacred space of answers, for questions from such great personalities! Usually, such questions are asked on behalf of others, not for oneself. When a person is bogged down by this question, he /she cannot even bring oneself to ‘pronounce’ it! It is the compassionate master, the guide, who ‘senses’ such questions, and provides not just the answers, but even the guiding techniques!

This post does not seek anything more. It feels like a complete reward in itself!

Rewarding regards,
Psn(17th June, 2010)



http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100616160958AAZLRDX
How to solve the puzzle of "Enlightenment"?
How to get rid from the "desire for enlightenment" which is the greatest barrier in attaining Enlightenment?It is one of the eternal question for the seekers of truth. On the one hand the mind go on saying, "Attain enlightenment," and on the other hand soul go on saying, "Don't desire it."? What to do? How to solve this Mystery?God Bless
Additional Details
Answer from a Mystic Perspective.


My humble submission:
The choice of words reminds me of the very 'opening' sentences of the most ancient and most acknowledged work on mysticism/spirituality, that leads to enlightenment, written by a great Master, "Patanjali"! Many consider it a very strange way to begin a book! It starts thus :...... " AND NOW, yoga....." !!!!

The person for whom the time is ripe enough would not feel it to be a strange beginning at all! In fact he would "melt" due to a 'feeling of trust' surging from within, like never before, out of some sense of reassurance that "this master had been waiting to deliver this text into my hand, at the right time, all the time, and so has been following me, in an invisible manner, never forsaking me! I can 'see' that this opening sentences refer to my entire past effort, and now onwards, it is going to lead me, holding my hands thus! ''!

The very next few sentences answers this puzzle! (How to rid from the desire for .....)!!

The mind has to consciously quieten (this desire can be no where else except in the mind!). Till the mind is quiet, there can be no unfolding of that 'attainment'. There is one form of meditation practiced since ancient times. It is the simplest, and unfortunately the toughest too. Various other practices would 'assist' a person to set the conditions better for this meditation to happen better. This meditation enhances our capability to allow the mind to quieten of its own. Now, this can happen in stray, rare, and fortunate cases 'by itself' too. That accounts for 'chance-enlightenments' and even those 'crude-method-looking incidents we hear of from stories about Zen masters'!

(Despite the feeling that it looks preposterous for 'me' to mention anything like this, the temptation is equally great, which gives way, and persuades me to add here that, I never expected such a question to come up so soon on Yahoo Answers! This very question adds that bit of precious 'mystic sanctity' to the forum, if I am permitted to say so! It would be wonderful to find far better people answering this, with the much needed embellishment to the language to adorn the reply with enough overdose of salt, to make the readers thirsty-like-never-before, to now seek nothing else more!)

Bugs

I know, those who know me, are going to raise their eye-brows, looking at this title (not this, from an illiterate, they would say!) . Where as about 7 decades ago, people around would eagerly read further looking out for, to keep handy, yet another possible trick to keep those bed-bugs away from their homes.

I would not have even collided into this question, had it been asked under a sub-category ‘computers’. But when somebody perhaps chose to look at the philosophical aspect of the chaos caused by bugs in a software program, I could not contain the ‘cashew-nut’ tendency that is within me too! (That nut was in a great hurry to pop out, so it had to stay on the outside of the fruit!).

All these gadget that we have been discovering, improvising, innovating, and inventing are to sophisticate our basic actions, our basic functions like mobility (walking), seeing, hearing, talking, carrying loads, fighting, defending, preserving, etc. External improvements just sophisticate essentially, and do very little to improve the ‘quality’ of life. With simple weapons, we defend ourselves from or ‘eliminate’ just a few people face-to-face. With sophistication, we remotely ‘destroy’ (not just eliminate) a whole lot! The tendency is still the same. The sophistication in handling finances can plunder the economy globally (recession).

It is the ‘chaos’ created by ‘large-scale-effect’ of such sophistications that the asker wanted to point out and then ask ‘why’.

That is why, the ‘monkey-mind’ has to first evolve, otherwise, handing over a beautiful flower garland into the hands of a monkey would only result in crushing those beautifully woven garland of flowers! (With some experience, developed super-powers are hesitant about ‘technology-transfer’. But, with political chaos, the monkey-minds within there too, the sanctity of such hesitation gets diverted elsewhere, like that diversion of the sanctity of efforts for controlling pollution getting diluted into trading of pollution-entitlements!).

The wisdom in the ancients is perhaps in their ability to restrict all the sophistication to within themselves (their physical being, instead of materials around), and yet not lacking anything! We are yet to catch up with their level of handling material aspects of life, with all our sophistications! Evidence is there, when they could record the distances to those planets with fair accuracy, without scientific instruments of modern day. They gave the concept of mathematics, (including the precious ‘zero’), with adequate warning, not to stay stuck to decimal system, which is just a matter of convenience for ‘reading’ (like those monitor display of visuals) where as, for computing and processing, any smaller base, starting with binary is better (those ‘vinculum’ formulas are evidences).

Anyway, I made the answer concise to the extent, my own sophistication at brevity allows, and postponed and relocated the ‘scratching of the itches here and there’ to this post!

Psn(16th June, 2010)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100615170704AAcT7d2
Is software development chaotic ?
One developer will improve some software containing 2^N bugs, so that there are few or no bugs remaining. The software is then released.Another developer attempts to "improve" the software containing few bugs, but the number of bugs doubles at each of their "improvement" attempts. The software finished with 2^M bugs.The software is then released on unsuspecting users.So the quality of the released software is wildly fluctuating.

My reply:
Please try to look at the 'nature' of computers or that computing capability, and what it is designed 'after'....

We designed a wheel, a bullock cart, a bicycle and then automobiles, airplanes, spacecraft. It is transportation, starting with just our legs.
Medicine is about tampering expertly with our physical well being, to suit our 'luxury' to drift away with 'natural' way of living (people who adhere to the way we are designed to live, need less of medical help, stay away from hospitals. Others, fix bugs with medicines, which sometimes cures, and sometimes, gives scope for yet another set of bugs, we call as medical side-effects, fall outs, complications.)
Electricity was about lighting, heating, cooking etc initially.
Phones were about hearing even from a distance.
Movies, photos, cameras were about preserving images to re-live those visuals at a leisure, once again.

When we attempted to 'improve' our memory using gadgets, then it is "Enter the Dragon" called computers. From just memory machines, we started 'processing those memories'. We replicate our mind. So all the chaos that we carry is simply transferred into the software, aware or unawares. The design of the software almost reflects the mind of the design-engineer. The grasp of the concepts simply get reflected into the software. A teenager asked to buy vegetables, sent for it with a bag and some money, could get stuck at a way-side conjurer (performing small tricks like magic for a living), and forget the main purpose of buying vegetables. If this kid has a mobile, 'patches' are possible from remote (by mother at home, calling him with miss-calls), to put him back on track.

When we disturb a group of ants, proceeding in a line, for some time, those poor things go criss-cross, appearing chaotic, and then get back to their task in a line. We keep criss-crossing all the time, any time, and go in a line only occasionally (that is the difference, when we retain the choice, the source of this choice being, self-awareness-capability!)

(A joke, if fatigued by this long answer: A mom, cleverly designs her kid, a software, teaching the kid to say "I want to sing" instead of 'want to urinate', to avoid embarrassment in public. Later, the father, the end-user of this program, faces the brunt, when the kid insists in the middle of the night that he wants to sing loudly NOW! The unsuspecting father types the command line 'kid, please sing slowly into my ears, since eveybody around is asleep'. The mom, the software-designer, was away to her parents place, to be able to fix the bug 'on time'!)

The woodcutter’s axe begged for its handle from the tree. The tree gave it.

Our school Principal, our “Brother”, used to take some subject once in a way at least, to have a feel of how receptive the students of a particular class are.
And then, if some student is caught, being up to some mischief, he used to ask the very same fellow to walk up to “Principal’s room”, to fetch the ‘cane’, to receive the ‘caning’ as a punishment.

I gave an answer to a question, which obviously is not what the asker was looking for.
So, I do deserve to be ‘caned’ for this. Here, I by myself, am placing before you my answer, to enable you to proceed with the spanking.
(The title, is simply copied. It is also obvious, I am never going to be capable of writing so well. It is from Gurudev’s ‘Stray Birds)
Regards,
Psn

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100614195923AA31KWs
Who is your role model or inspiration? Why?

My answer:
Role model--no. No body. I never looked at rolling up myself to fit into somebody-like-image. It simply didn't occur.

Inspiration--yes. Almost everything around seems to inspire. That ant working incessantly, carrying a load many-times than its own weight. And then this huge, vast, large universe. For millions of years it travels at tremendous speed, with such huge mass, and with such precision! A little swerve from its track by any planet or star, would send the rest of them into collusion with each other, like some car skips its lane and hits another, yet another, and then all the rest get thrown off their track into collusion! If such a huge universe fails to inspire us, may be we need to correct our vision!

(Oh! sorry, Looks like, now, I am a bit off track! Choosing a role model FOR inspiration seems to limit us to that model itself, inadvertently, perhaps even borrowing that model's limitations too!)

Emotional Recession

A child holds tight in its fist that single remaining chocolate, refusing to part with it. Elders around try to plead ‘please give me a small bit’ and the child shakes its head vigorously to convey refusal emphatically, and unambiguously. We smile at the child, and we also look quite ‘wise’, since we know why this child is not ready to ‘let go’ or even share its prized possession. What happens to this wisdom of ours, when we find our bosses holding back the wage increase from us, a reasonable share of profits for which our contribution was proportionately significant? This Boss is no child, not-so-innocent, and we are not ‘elders’ any more than that monstrous boss!

The recent global recession has left behind a legacy, which will stay for some time, unless we consciously choose to get rid of it. A deep feeling of distrust.

When it comes to pruning staff strength, some doubts occur. Whether “this” fellow should go out first or “that” fellow? It is the fellow with high scores in distrust, who wins the way out, first. Why, some people even trust themselves a bit less, when it comes to need for curtailing ‘routine’ expenses as a result of recession (low salary, low income, no income, etc), and delegate the ‘purchase’ of not-so-basic-need items to a better prudent person at home. Those who had hitherto never compromised their dignity, and chose to dine at an expensive restaurant for lunch, now prefer that packed economical pre-fabricated low cost lunch. Why take chances with our own emotions… any temptation to order for another tasty side dish would create a hole in the purse.

Emotional strength weakens. That is the serious after effect of economic recession. In the west, divorce rate has slightly increased. Basically it is that trust that weakens. That is why gold prices have soared. Even currency takes the brunt of distrust. Investment portfolios are chosen with some distrust. For no reason, those innocent people at home also have to bear the brunt of spill-over of emotions carried over to within the homes. We feel like yelling ‘will someone show me where the switch is located, to switch-off that distrust-button at least while at home?”

It is only when we are pushed thus, deep into such helplessness, that we turn to look at what really went wrong with our emotions. Why spill over of economic-recession, into our emotions? It is time, to learn to consciously separate our emotions from material aspects of life, separate it from ‘conditioned-mind’. It cannot be always ‘productivity-linked’. It is the other way too. Productivity can also be a consequence of emotional strength, motivation, inspiration, etc.

Somebody asked, quite aptly, saying ‘how to deal with negative people (negativity in people)’.

With Positive regards,
Psn(15th June, 2010)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100614172154AAdkdOa
How to deal with negative people in everyday life, I am not used to this and why me?
I have had to make do with a "not soo good job" as of a reccession and not getting the job I aspired to do for five years and this goal made me happy...so a bit down anyhow...But in this temporary dead - end job for 1 year...people are obv unhappy with themselves and discreetly bully me and knock my self- esteem and this can't be proven, especially when it's most people in there. I feel it may be as if they are aware of my prospects and the kind of person I am including the opportunity I have available. Sometimes I feel it would be better if they did not know, but when they ask me I can't exactly lie!How do I deal with this, it hasn't worked standing up for myself with them, as now it's worse they know I am aware of what they are doing and I don't ant to tell the manager, as it's a lot of stress upon me, him and most of his employees...I know I wont be there forever and I have a life of my own, but when I'm there I at times can dislike it so much..What to do?

My answer:
After the recession, most people get only those 'not-so-good-job'.

The capacity to hire comes down. So over qualified people are given lesser jobs. The result is lesser job-satisfaction, and pay-satisfaction. If workers remain stuck to this negative feature (though inevitable), it would start a vicious circle of distrust, and it is we who give the needless momentum to it. All we have to do is to reverse the cycle, instead of blaming the wheel itself.

We have to just 'accept' what is inevitable, and start performing well where it does not really cost us much. A smile does not cost anything at all. Focusing on the job itself does not cost anything at all. Most importantly, we get paid, and we still have some job. We have to allow the genuine feeling of gratitude for this to grow within, and our body language would 'speak' by itself, through our gestures. Initially people around (manager no exception, as well), would look at it with a bit of suspicion, but over a period of time, they will have to accept our acceptance positively. Sudden recession brings in that caution, where people even distrust their own ability to spend prudently and that is why even consumer items show less/low sales-figure. Please look at this distrust with some love. It is difficult to look at it thus. But please see, with just one chocolate, even a baby kid doesn't trust close, known people. They don' let go this chocolate from their 'firm' gripped fist! Human nature. We have to evolve and help others to evolve by lending/extending that unconditional love.

Individually challenged

Like that “physically challenged” ( a polished & less-hurting name for handicapped people), a question that I came across seemed to challenge the ‘individuality’ of individuals!

We have awards for individual excellence, at work places for motivation, at political levels to highlight performers, and so on. (It is almost ritualistic, most of the times, when the awardees attribute their individual success to teamwork! Beyond the mumbling of those few words of ‘humility’ gesture, no thought is given to the constituents of our individuality.)

In a world where there is a rat race for the top slot in almost every field, we seem to lose track of the main concept of that individuality. We are driven by the situation, circumstances, and the goals set by materialistic society. When I said driven, I am tempted to compare our over-cluttered mind, with no scope for ‘our’ control over it, to that joke… A person trying to enter an overcrowded bus was being pushed away by the “out-standing” people hanging by the foot-board. When he still insisted on gaining entry, they asked him “what is so special about you, that you insist thus to enter in this crowd?”. He humbly appealed to them saying “But I am the driver of this bus!”. Our mind allows no space to us to reach the driver’s seat!

This question seemed a welcome variation amidst the clamor for individuality, and tips seeking help to reach that ‘unique-ness-slot’.

At least this time, the asker seemed to get what he wanted!

Indivisible regards,
Psn(14th June, 2010)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100608042854AAd0Evf

Is anyone really an individual?

My answer:
"Really" speaking, we are perhaps 'indivisibles'(and not individuals!).We are so deeply inter-dependent with everything and everyone around, that we have very little of our own to call it an 'individuality'. Now-a-days, that idiot box decides what we should be thinking about most of the time! The whole crap contained in the memory came from outside. And keeping it aside, we are just 'walking' vegetables. Most of our actions are 'prescribed'. It is almost like a 'baton-race' where we carry the baton for a while, to be handed over to next generation. Even that seems a great struggle now, when we have spoiled the ecology so badly!

The zero factor

An amazing question!

(please ignore the humble answer, it is just a feeble attempt. It is the question that is worth looking at. My answer, at best is aimed at only inspiring, motivating, persuading to delve deeper. “Nothing”—is in deed—more than that!

With ‘zeroing’ in of regards,
Psn (13th June, 2010)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100612161804AAdmKG6
Is zero ever tangible?
Additional Details
Zero is never tangible in math.

My answer:
Ironically, "YES".
Unfortunately, ONLY to 'itself'.
The problem is, we have to become the "it". But right now we are stuck to "I.T." (just the information (about it) Technology!).Long ago, in ancient India, the Great Masters, made a very concise concept of it, when they had put it so simply: Tat Twam Asi (Thou art that)!

Zero represents "nothingness". Within our 'range' of perception, even the vast emptiness of that space, far beyond all those galaxies of the universe is still a 'space' not the 'nothingness' !

So, it feels so wonderful, when somebody says with such clarity, and certainty that Zero is NEVER tangible IN math! Yes, the very base of math is our ability to first "divide" all 'tangible" things (including the tangibles, conceptually, in abstractions as well...!).

So, OUT of math, is the next possibility. We merge into our very source, that intangible, unknowable, subtle nothingness, to become 'exclusively' tangible only at the highest level of consciousness! (here again, the word 'tangible' is used helplessly, and quite indicatively, or else, the whole attempt would collapse!).

Historians happen to say that (ancient) India gave 'zero' to the world. But, the fuzzy-patent to it seems to have been retained 'mystically' in the sophisticated antique-looking original name for that 'zero' called as "Shoonya"! The name is sophistication in itself! (Even today, the highest form of meditation is called by that very name!). There were no patent laws in ancient days. Documented laws imply the need for 'adjudicators'! Here, the very law itself adjudicates, as to who is eligible to 'see' it!

Changing 'Values'

A person with a very good handwriting was ‘invaluable’ in offices, a few decades ago. The issue of a University degree had to be postponed, if that ‘expert’ in cursive special style of writing, recruited for this purpose happened to be ‘indisposed’. I don’t know how the ‘handwriting’ experts(both types, at writing, and at ‘matching’) are going to survive in the future? Good face(movie-hero) can be had with plastic surgery, and a good voice is sent behind the screen as a dubbing artist(nothing more)!

So also, totaling wizards in Banks are ‘redundant’ now. In wars, those hefty muscular heroes are replaced by slim, skinny and bony but brainy experts who handle guided hi-tech weapons, from a distance.

A rice cooker decides how much water is needed for the rice to cook, and spits out the rest through the tiny pores into outer container. Earlier, when new stock of raw rice arrives at home, ‘trial-cooking’ was needed, and then a discussion and debate, about the ‘behavior’ of this rice with water right now, and then projected guesses as it ages, was needed to decide the right proportion to cook it without wastage of starch. The cook-and-drain method obviated the bulk of indecisiveness.

What kind of ‘expertise’ is going to keep us afloat in this ever-fast-changing world is perhaps the toughest question! (The crowd behind us does not allow us the time to even feel the pain, when we fall due to a road accident, and starts honking, “asking us to get the hell out of their way”)! The simple change in the ‘version’ of a software makes the end-user-data-feeding-operator to begin “all over again” to get familiarized with the new ‘screen’ to ‘show’ his superior-speed-capability to retain his job! Should we learn a little bit of everything, just in case….? Oh! We are reminded of ‘Jack of all trades, but master of none’. ‘Still water runs deep, but if the bottom is too stuffy, this water becomes stale too soon, and might stink!


All this brings us to one basic question, what to do with these changing values?

A learned professor had given a wonderful talk, the gist of it is still circulating in emails (‘Have breakfast or be the breakfast’). Things and people both get outdated & replaced alike!

Well, like that precious metal Gold, we have to retain the flexibility, adaptability to accept a little of another rigid metal like copper to become a firm ornament, and also be prepared to re-heated, re-melted, re-cast yet again to become a ‘latest’ ornament in the society. It calls for a thorough grasp of that(concept of) abstraction of mathematics called algebra, so that we become a variable of all sorts in ‘simultaneous-equations’! I cannot help wondering at the wisdom of ancient Masters. Long ago they had said, not to be stuck to just the ‘decimal’ system. It is just a base for convenience. Better become adaptable to any base, binary, five-digit etc. They gave us the ‘formula’ too! It is the ‘vinculum’ which converts the decimal numbers into 5 number base, do all the jugglery and reconvert it back to decimal form for easy ‘reading’ of the results. The Sanskrit formula, (“Sutra” - a very deep word for ‘formula’, for this vinculum was ‘Eka adhikena poorvena”, or “one more than the previous one”. Translations are too restrictive to its intrinsic meanings, and consequently arrest its wider applications!). Already one branch of physics is working on expanding the ‘devices’ to work with more than ‘binary’ forms of computing. If this concept of a flexibility of mathematics seems acceptable, then perhaps, there is scope and hope that our mind is prepared to shut down its ‘logical’ workshop for a while, and allow its intuitive aspect to grow a little further, afford the balance of emotions, and let dexterity of handling ‘life’ flourish!

Somebody asked, “Do you think that moral values should change with changing times...as man makes new discoveries? ...to deal with new problems, hitherto unseen? Now, in this Scientific Age of Technology, information is available to all at a Click of Mouse. With new experiences come new thinking...So should Morals adapt too?!?
(http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ai6eMmHBBwd5SXBPG6HfFRyQHQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20100603231240AAsjst5 )

My wild guess was, that it was not about ‘Morals’ or ‘ethics’ like honesty, integrity, etc, but the ‘adaptability-values’ , the concepts that affords our flexibility to get along comfortably with innovations, that was being looked-out for, in the answers. And so, I gave this answer:
There was a sport called 'hunting' to prove 'manliness'. Even 60 years ago, they posed for a photograph, using that popping flash bulb, and slow film with manual shutter control, using a lid cap over the lens. Today, we had to ban hunting, for preserving the animal species.Eating camel meat in a desert was needed for survival. Today, it is not needed, since air-planes can air drop food. And there is the precious oil to sell to bring in greenery in middle east.Even though the religion permits a man to have four wives, people do not exercise this as a right, and find it difficult to support just one wife. May be it is time to re-look at this permission. It was relevant to protect the excess population of women who outnumbered the men once upon a time (men used to get killed in large numbers due to frequent inter-tribe-wars).A clerk with very good handwriting, and accuracy at adding (totaling) was considered great asset, and was given preference for employment and promotion. Today, computers do it flawlessly (including the spell-check/grammar)!Large turbans(many layers of cloth in that head-gear) was needed to preserve the 'head' from getting heated due to climate (sun-stroke). Today, travel is inside an air-conditioned vehicle, so head gear is a wastage of cloth.

Unquote:
(I cannot help looking yet again, at the clarity, when they divided values in the ancient days, calling it ‘Vaideekam’—destined-to-be-natural—and, Loukeekam—worldly, and hence time-specific, or time-relevant)
psn(13th June, 2010)

Love interrupted!

Somebody happened to misspell it inadvertently. And I was amused to find that, often, the ‘interpretation’ by elders, to remove the delusion, the ‘infatuation’ that comes with teenage, actually works like an interruption!

Elders struggle to convince youngsters, when the issue happens to be about ‘deciding’ a life partner. It is not about the ‘method’ of choosing, that can help us to resolve the issue. But, the concepts we hold, about the ‘compatibility’ features. Even without any serious bug, some programs lack compatibility, and do not get along together smoothly for long. On the other hand, some bugs in one program are left unattended, simply because there is that other program which is so beautifully compatible, that it quietly ‘fixes’ those bugs without hampering the end use, and ‘seamlessly’ weaves itself to cover up any shortcomings resident inside the primary program.

A friend told me of a case where a couple had ‘chat’ relationship growing and well ‘tested’ for compatibility for 6 long years. They decided and got married, only to get divorced within 3 months! True, an isolated case simply does not prove anything at all! But nothing should prevent us from taking additional inputs, to make our own case yet stronger. That is how we make use of the experience of others, to improve our own quality of life.

What is going to decide our priorities during the next few years, is a very fuzzy, delusive and evasive question. If we try to approach an emotional-compatibility issue with the attitude of a ‘prudent’ buyer who looks out for those safe-buys, going in for ‘branded’ items, seeking comfort of an insurance camouflaged in risk-insulation(saving brand name at all costs), by multinational companies, it may not work, unless a great fluke coincides! But that is what people do today! The HR people do the filtering, in reputed companies. So, picking a life-partner from there seems a safe bet. Some others, under the delusion of a very good grasp of emotional values, look at ‘long’ relationships of the past, and presume sustained emotional bonds. They too fail to take into account that the illusion of this emotional stability was simply because they were yet to ‘test’ it in the real war of life, where you are ‘on your own’ (not like those care-free youth days, where parents took care of all other priorities of life, like those movie-heroes who look ‘lovable’ because there is a dummy for stunts, makeup-man for cosmetics, script-writer, director etc for other things!).

It would be futile to appeal by taking ‘sides’, either ways. The choice has to naturally occur, the hard way, when a person truly evolves, and ‘re-invents the wheel’ if we are to truly benefit from the rich cultural and traditional values. ‘Copy-paste’ doesn’t work for too long (some where a slip would give away, like that joke where a student copied an answer from a hidden text book, inadvertently adding ‘for figure 142, look at page 366’!).

So, the answer is with a deep acknowledgement of an ‘interruption’ but with a noble intent.

Regards,
Psn(12th June, 2010)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100611205624AAcYuu7
Can you please interrupt what this means for me?
This guy feels a connection with me from high school, he has passionate feelings is too do with us being in high school together about 9 yrs ago, which means these loving feelings he has for me are feelings and images of high school when the two of us were together.

My (interruptive) reply:
Yes, it does amount and "interruption" when somebody's interpretation happens to bring us to a world of 'ground' realities, from that 9-year-long-fond-memories.
It works too well as long as we dwell in those memories.
Even if one of us happens to take an occasional look at the 'present', we will find that priorities have shifted, and now our view, attitude, and needs of life has changed a lot. If we do not take a look 'afresh' at what we are now, these old memories would not give sustaining support for that 'togetherness'.

To find out the possibility of a cordial 'compatibility' to continue further into future, the concerned people are better judges, than the opinion-givers. Others can give only suggestions of general nature, and common application. But relations are individual-specific, when compatibility is the issue. There are no 'standards'. Because, irrespective of any type of short-coming/lacking in one person, it is abundantly compensated by the other person if that person is rich in that aspect, and supplements this partner out of pure unconditional love. When priorities of material life compels, conditions of peaceful co-existence take over, and peaceful co-existence is at stake. That is why partners sometimes wonder "what went wrong with us?"

Punishments

Law looks at punishments with a purpose. Social ‘order’.
The question came from a “professional” in psychology.
Let us see, how well my answer fares (the unconventional, non-professional, that I am)!
It would be nice, to get your feedbacks as well.
(Oh! Self-restraint, from elaboration, in itself this time, feels like some ‘self-imposed’ punishment to me. Do I deserve some reward for this?)
Regards,
Psn(12th June, 2010)
http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100611180651AATOg1l&r=w#NbUvWzq9WThW9GWqYeRc

Behavior, Punishment, and Reward?
Briefly, Operant learning is characterized by punishing a person (usually a child) when he performs an unwanted behavior and rewarding him when he does an encouraged behavior. Rewards could consist of positive reinforcements (addition of something nice) and negative reinforcements (removal of something bad) while punishments could be positive (addition of something horrible) and negative (removal of something nice) similarly. The issue I'm pondering over is the following: What are suitable forms of punishments and rewards? The reward/punishment has to be equally as powerful as the behavior. I'm not a fan of spanking, but what do you think about it? Is it the only solution for extremely unwanted behaviors? Last but not least, what are some methods to utilize Operant Learning on adults? Surely i can't go on spanking them every time they do a wrong deed.Please think for a moment before answering, and try to elaborate as much as possible (but don't make huge essays). I, myself, am a student of Industrial Psychology, so if there is any scientific data on this subject please make sure to post it,and if you're a fellow psychologist don't hinder yourself from using technical terms. If you're not a psychologist then your answer is welcomed as well but please make sure to think well about the subject as i have already pondered over it extensively.

My answer:
Basically, the very theory of punishment is well contemplated in law(compensatory, exemplary, deterrent, preventive etc), rather than psychology. Yet, law does not neglect the aspect of reformation. That is done either in a prison, or by the local police station incharge, who has to keep a 'tab' on the offender.

So, punishment is rather a 'quick-fix' solution, out of urgency for some social order, when other priorities do not seem to afford us the leisure to reform a person, and then have the luxury of such 'now-reformed-person's' proximity.

At homes, 'punishing' a child, we do find, is a very common feature. Yet, psychologically, it happens to be a 'copy & paste' action by the parents who are the 'fabric' of the very same society that has framed laws, and it is the punishment of law, that gets noticed too often amongst all other 'news'.

For evidence, please see, traditionally, it is the punishments of a society that is looked at, as a barometer or 'yardstick' to measure 'how well evolved ' a culture or a society is! (Even in some 'well-knit' organisations, employees who 'happen' to glance at 'punitive' clauses find it amusing that they were never even looked at for a long time, leave alone invoking it! The 'HR' does the trick!)

This 'positive/negative' reinforcements, rewards(negative/positive) seems to appear somewhat 'insufficient, and not a long term solution' , is simply because, we are dealing with the situation only with a logical approach, and in pure materialistic aspect, and in commercial terms (barter-system, give and take). We are unable to even remotely 'touch' the intuitive aspect, the human emotions in a positive way (instead, we may end up 'hardening' or 'freezing' the relationship-distance between humans! Psychology is perhaps the only branch available, as a great hope, to 'bridge' the gap of scientific approach, and the emotional human approach. In isolation, emotions, sentiments, etc seem to always defy logic. And science doesn't ever tolerate negation of logic.
..

(A story, made as brief as 'my' language permits, to demonstrate 'punishment' theory: A King, his minister, and his charioteer, had a son each, and the sons were friends. Together committed a crime, punishable under law. King delegated adjudication to minister, who gave different punishments to each, for the very same crime. It was challenged by people, invoking partisan 'behaviour' clause. The king asked minister to 'explain' differential treatment. Minister requested a months time. But people didn't have to wait. They got the wonderful explanation, it got manifested by itself. The king's son, who was given a casual warning, unable to bear the insult committed suicide. The minister's own son, asked to remain confined on a chair for the entire day, felt almost as bad, and left the kingdom, became a mendicant, on a spiritual path. The charioteer's son, imprisoned for a week with hundred lashes each day, saw that it was quite bearable, and repeated the crime, soon after release!)

Right questions or Right answers

We hesitate, to ask, pondering whether we have the ‘Right’ to ask. And then whether we are capable to wrought right-questions, when we attempt to write questions, when asking face to face seems embarrassing.

Youngsters, while learning the answers, find it exciting to store as much as possible to empower themselves, from the class lessons to the wide encyclopedia, and end up as large data-banks, with great strenuous efforts. Yet, when it comes to competitions, they are surprised at the success of others who seem not-so-well-informed. The question that now comes up is which is more important, to ask the right questions, or to give the right answers. Of course it is a lot debatable. But to get along in practical reality of life, winning debates do not offer much help. This very question is the adequate proof, that it being a vital question (and not an answer), it is asking the right thing that helps.

At Banks, when that irksome balancing of Cash Book (the ultimate of problems during manual-accounting-days) eats up a lot of time, a clever official asks the right question at last, “Who wrote the subsidiaries, and who checked it?”. Now the evasive solution lights up itself. The ‘unique’ unimaginable type of errors that only some people are ‘capable’ of committing, occurs to the memory, and the work progresses! Even at homes, when we are searching for something, we ask ‘who used it last’ and then we know that, this person keeps it at a wrong place, the most inconspicuous place each time!

The very structure of FAQs reveals the mind of the designer(irrespective of whether it is frequented or not). It is the questions that appeal to the reader, rather than the answers. (I am still bogged by the question, ‘why my question’ when I recollect an incident that happened in our school, when I was in 4th or 5th class. That famous mathematician “Shakuntala Devi” was invited to our school to motivate the children by demonstration of her exceptional computing capabilities, without the help of paper/pencil, within moments of being asked a ‘sum’ (mathematical problems posed was called a ‘sum’, by our teachers, at least then!). It was more of a compulsion by the ‘respective’ class teacher, that I was victimized to ask (teachers were ‘instructed’ to persuade as many ‘sums’ as possible, to be evoked. We were new to ‘asking’ questions at that age! And, sandwiched between ‘inexperience to ask’ and uninitiated into ‘refusing’, for the teacher, it was just ‘aim and shoot’ at the nearest sitting ducks in the class. I was a front-bencher. I wrote the first thing that came to my mind, (it was copied from an ‘ad’ at the Bank(SBH), nearest to our school, and I was familiar with it, having read it over and over, each time that I pass by, my daily route, school to home). It so happened that the mathematical Wizard required some extra moments to give out the answer. I never even did the ‘long-method’ calculation to verify the answer. Just gulped what she spelt out. But, at the end of the ‘show’, she asked the owner of this ‘chit-of-paper’ to be produced before her on the stage. She wanted to meet the ‘scoundrel’ who managed to ask such tricky ‘sum’! In a moment’s time, when she lay her gaze upon me, she turned into ‘compassion’ itself, (I am unable to forget that ‘look’ in her eyes, and I couldn’t even manage to make a mental note of the words she uttered to appreciate the question (Oh, it was the ‘sum’). But she concluded with ‘best wishes’ for ‘bright’ future. Here I got my first lessons about the importance of ‘asking’ right questions. This lesson did play a very significant role in shaping me later, when I turned towards the ‘pathless path’.

Okay, too lengthy a narrative, already. (But, I feel like a toothpaste tube, there was a question that ‘squeezed’ it out of me!)

Regards,
Psn (10th June, 2010)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100609221546AA5fE3W&r=w#NbUvWzq9WThW9GWqYeRc

Which do you think is more important: a) to have the right answsers, or b) to ask the right questions? ...?
In life?... On Y!A?... Why?

My reply:
Not just "more" important.....
If we are able to ask the right questions, it become THE most important capability.
No body has ever been able to replicate "Socrates" just because he was the "most" capable so far, to be able to ask SUCH right questions that the unlettered simple village folks around him were 'blessed' enough to discover that all the answers were present, right there, just within them, all the time!!!

Scaling down, for commercial purposes, it the lawyer who can ask the right questions, who breaks down the witness of the opposite side.
It is the expert who can ask the right question, who gets the best coveted job in that HR (Human resources), and is able to get the best candidate possible as a Hire.
At the reception counter, it the right question that gets the correct and complete information (about anything, like at airport, Railway station, etc, delayed flights, alternate arrangements, food, accommodation, etc) since the answers are ususally on a 'need-to-know-basis'.

Even the Honourable "Learned" Judges give out favourable judgements only when right questions are asked during final arguements (example: There was a case of compelling a spouse to 'stay' with the appellent spouse-partner, invoking the provision of marriage Act, where in, the "restitution of conjugal rights" was enacted. The clever lawyer asked the Judge whether the fundamental rights in constitution of the country was superior or the provisions of marriage Act. Now, if that constitution is superior, how does the law that restrict the freedom of movement ("staying" with spouse) hold valid? The Judge simply smiled and declared that this provision of marriage Act was ultra-vires the constitution, and hence void! Many other divorce cases collapsed when this Judgement was pronounced. Such is the power of asking a right question!)

Asker Vs Asked

We often face questions. We also ask. Only when children ask, we are reassured of an element of ‘innocence’ and we don’t try to ‘view’ that question. We just ‘look’ at it, and give out an honest answer (unless the child is yet to grow enough to ‘take the answer’ and stay healthy too!).
When adults ask, the first impulse is to find out the ‘hidden’ agenda behind that question! And invariably, the defense-mechanism within us sets itself into motion ‘by default’ and the answer takes a crooked shape, quite encrypted, and most of the times, utterly useless!
But in some places, things have to work, like, at reception counters. They have ‘stock-replies’ and the asker starts turning away, even before the last syllable of the curt-one-liner is fully spelt out! Answers to even simple queries beget too many ‘insurance policies and disclaimer clauses’ attached to it!
Some people who are eager to share their rich experience shy away from elaboration, for fear that they might turn out to be ‘borers’ to the others, with too much of unsolicited elaboration.
At school, we had some teachers, who thought of ‘preparing’ us well by warning us that the lesson is going to be dull, but important. And, instead of invoking better focus and concerted efforts to fight back a dull inattentive listening, we prepared better than ever to doze of prematurely! We used to admire our teachers, more for their ability to withstand fatigue, of repetition of those dull lessons over years, than their grasp of the subject and its knowledge.

The asker of this question reminded me of those ancient sophisticated, dedicated and well evolved teachers of ancient times. No wonder, they were not subject-wise teachers. They were ‘object-wise’ and otherwise, quite wise too! The main subject that they taught (handling emotions!) is now omitted from syllabus itself, as a helplessly-choice-less ‘choice’(our kids, during the last minute preparation for exams, decide to handle some ‘un-revisable’ portions by ‘leaving-it-out-in-choice’ if it occurs in the question paper)!

Regards,
Psn(9th June, 2010)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100609040053AANaKoB
Does it seem to you, that most people ask questions, expecting a certain answer?
Do most of the questions that you read, seem like the person that is asking has already made up their mind and they are simply looking for someone that agrees with their decision?

My answer:
To a large extent, yes.
How else to judge the answer, unless we can compare with what we already know. The flight of knowledge is from 'known to unknown'. Only the permutation and combination looks new, and affords some attraction towards an acceptance (with a 'let me see').
Traditionally, in the east, in ancient India, the process of imparting knowledge was quite sophisticated and well evolved. They could easily place a new student (the asker, the inquisitive, the learner, the thirsty for knowledge).

Most of them want to know how much the other person knows.

A few want to know a little more(just the information part, not the underlying concept etc).

A few want to know and also learn, if it suits one's comfortable disposition (there are dull lessons, boring lessons, etc which they distance themselves from).

There are a very few, who are intensely thirsty to know, learn and possess the knowledge. These few are ready to do "what ever it takes". They usually 'handover themselves' into the care of the Teacher, placing great trust. It is such students that the Teacher looks out for, and abundantly reciprocates with unmatched compassion!

(Now, I wonder, if I have ended up with too much of unsolicited details! Anyway, loved answering it, and may be some other readers, some time later too, would enjoy looking at this aspect of asking-seeking. Thanks for the question!)

Effortless Humility

This time, I enjoy to quite effortlessly and very deeply acknowledge this ‘post’, and also dedicate it to a very dear and close relative of mine.

This relative, too shy of herself, is not going to express this wonderful idea by herself. But fortunately, she does voice her opinions to me quite often. She is the best critic around me, to keep me well under check, when I tend to be too much of a nuisance to others around.

Her observation was : “ I find that all these great people, invariably, are able to maintain humility so effortlessly. Where as, those who make that too-obvious-an-attempt at humility end up displaying that vulgar ego quite inadvertently. It struck to me, that perhaps, when the knowledge deepens, and ripens well, they also know now, so well, that it is all there, all the time, for anybody to just get it, any time, and none of it was ever their’s”.

See, no point in even dedicating this post to her. It is already hers!

Jai Ho!
Psn(8th June, 2010)

Flowery words

Somebody raised a question about the significance of using flowers to chant, the belief being these flowers gain some spiritual type of energies, due to the very chanting. Obviously, the answers are not going to be chewable at all, leave alone the palatability or digestibility! It calls for ‘blind’ belief, if one is determined to stay stuck to sensory levels of perception.

My answer was through an exchange of personal mails. But I felt that there could be yet some others who might like to spend time to laugh at the idea, being assured of some vicarious pleasure, at the least. My own reasoning is that, the effort could get well paid for, as a reward in itself, if it so happens, that some of us stumble into some such mystic experience, quite unawares, unprepared, some time later. Then, this stored data will rebound into forefront, and ‘in a flash’, it will all be too clear.

The gist(after editing out the personal references):
Quote:
The query: Can anybody enlighten me on the significance of chanting Mantra Pushpam? I tried to do some research but didn't quite get the answers I was looking for.

Reply: For proof, all we need to do is to go and stay for a few days in that cold place Tibet.
There are still some traditional doctors (vaids, vaidyan, etc... ayurvedic).
Very little variety of vegetation grows there due to sub-zero temperatures for half the year. Only a few flowers. This native doctor gives the same few flowers as medicine for almost any type of ailment. And it works! He holds the flowers gently enclosed between two palms, for a while, does some meditation, and hands it over to the patient, who consumes it/applies its essence externally as per directions. Now if a youngster desires to become 'qualified', an elder and experienced doctor has to pronounce him as 'passed'. For this, the youngster has to stay under open sky on an entire full moon night. The temperature would be minus 30 or so. And standing on a hill top, doing nothing, he is expected to sweat profusely! A volunteer would come to him every hour, wipe of the sweat, and check for fresh sweating. Such is the 'Ushna' (a different kind of heat) that this candidate has to generate by mere focusing the energies within with mind's meditative practices. When a person is so capable, he becomes efficient enough to transmit his vital energies into the flowers, by placing them between palms for a while.That is why the same flowers do different treatments with different wave-types of energies.
Our ancient people used to chant and transmit energies in a more sophisticated manner. If you remember, during the Bhagawati sewa, a portion of the very same flowers are used to absorb negative energies, and the vadhyar (family-preceptor) instructs us to bury them or cast them into flowing water carefully.The rest of the flowers are used as prasaadams.
All this is quite difficult to 'digest' (accept logcially), unless, there is some personal experience of these energies beyond the sensory level perception. Yogic practices done intensely can bring us to such level of perception. Till then, if our logical mind permits, we may stay consoled with some trust and blind faith (the consolation is that there is no tangible side effect or ill-effect or loss!)

Response: Thank you for the reply. Yes, I have seen a couple of programs on TV [either on Discovery/TLC] on the Tibetan monks walking around bare feet, with just a dhoti and even sleeping on ice, which melts due to heat generated from their bodies. Indeed, they do possess some unique powers they must have acquired from constant meditation. I didn't quite know that the remedies for human physical ailments would be cured by the same set of 'medicated flowers'. Very interesting.

Addition, encouraged by the response: It was quite encouraging to get your kind and prompt reply.There is also a mention of pollen grains in the third sloka of Soundarya Lahari (Adi Shankara's). The indicative reference is that it brings "chaitanya" in a "Jadam" (againit is about energiszing! And there was a story that Germans who took away oursanskrit works, learnt them, experimented them, found the hidden meaning, and usedpollen-grain-tablets as medicines to revive the memory of their spy-agents who were caught, imprisoned, brain-washed to the extent that they lost memory, and then leftwandering, having become useless to anyone without memory! (But our ashtaanga of Ayurveda does have references of flowers, its petals and pollen grains to contain medicinal properties. Basically, even the presence of lots of flowers feels good, fresh and energizing!
Unquote:

So, that was about “After all, what is in a flower, what ever its name!”

Regards,Psn(8th June, 2010)

Patronising God

Religion, the way it is propagated presently, tends to become at times, vulnerable to turn out into a ‘self-defeating’ gadget.
The reason is the sharp focus towards the logical aspect of mind. Elders seem gratified to find children of “this” generation (it has always been the ‘THIS’ generation about children, since quite a few generations!), to be more brilliant, ready-witted, quick-grasping, and what not, than the previous one. True. But then, why is there a complaint, when we find ‘some values’ deteriorating? There is no time to ponder about it, in the fast paced life, chasing material priorities. Is it not the ‘disillusionment’ of an all-round growth, when in fact, it is the lopsided growth of just the logic, forsaking the precious emotional balance, the intuitive evolvement?

It was nice, to find a question, that is inquisitive about ‘God’, the term itself, not the concept. (I am reminded of Bruce Lee’s dialogue, with a knock on the student’s head, “Don’t focus on the finger (the pointing finger), or you would miss all that heavenly glory”.. the giant-movie “Enter the Dragon”).

We know, it is a name, and that is why we dismiss it, with the consolation, that it signifies a higher being, what ever the name given to it. In doing so, what we miss is the concept that stays behind that nomenclature. There is a subtle distinction, from the concept of other types of nomenclatures. It was not for ‘nothing’ that there was(and still “is” with traces!), a tradition in India of naming children with names of Gods! (What was that again? That ‘nothing’? Oh! “nothingness” is the most elusive of all concepts! May be it was FOR “exactly” THE nothing, for THE knowing of that “nothing” that the ancients named(children/off springs) with ‘something’ that was very much a ‘thing’, more emphatically everything, but too closely subtle! Yes, right under our very nose, and yet subtle—the breath itself!). The stupid looking 33 crores of names assigned for Gods in the Hindu-way-of-life(not a religion, please,) was the closest, one can come, to choose the most suitable form(to oneself) of manifestation from, of that un-manifest One! Yes, I agree, this is too taxing. That is why, I did not put it in that answer.
Regards,
Psn(8th June, 2010)

The question:
http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100601210954AAeL9lS
Is “God” too patronizing a word for the ultimate meaning of the universe?
My answer:
Oh no! Just a symbolic reference, till the experience happens.Like we use the alphabet 'x' in algebra more often,(though all other 25 alphabets are available), but never forgetting the concept, the attribute, the unlimited value of the 'variable' attribute, otherwise we miss the wonderful experience of the abstract concept of mathematics. And, when we experience this abstract nature of 'x', we know it is not a mere alphabet, and yet we are comfortable with the name 'x'.
Please see, our confidence about the word 'God' seems to be firm, reliable, reassuring, when used by true spiritual Masters, and when some other 'unacceptable' person uses it, for some selfish gain by asserting with a false swearing, it saddens us a bit(we 'wish' , that this person would have spared at least 'God's name'). This is the simple meaning at 'earth level'. At universe level, the experience would speak for itself. Sitting here, with a limited sense of perception, it would be mere guess work.

Teenage Anger

When I came across this question, I don’t know why, but I felt it to be ‘logically’ irrelevant to be reminded of that saying “A wise enemy is better than a foolish friend”. There is no enemy or a friend involved here. And this is no way to keep an open mind (spelling out the idiosyncrasies that occur within my thought processes!).

Be that as it may.

It is ‘fortunate’ if the kids happen to ‘feel’ that they ought to tell the parents that they have ‘anger-problems’. It reassures, highlights many wonderful things. Their level of self-awareness, their love for their parents, and what not!

(It is usually the mother, especially from a teenage daughter, that receives the sudden early signs of that typical teenage-anger surging, when the kid pops out “Mom, please don’t be stupid!”. And usually, the mother chuckles, the first time, and it is too late, when she realizes that she is unable to bear it!)

Having answered, I felt that it is appropriate to seek concurrence of other experienced elders (irrespective of whether they ‘missed’ their bus or not).

With youthful regards,
Psn(8th May, 2010)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100607191409AAMJVzw


The question:
How do you tell your parents that you have anger problems?
i'm a 14 year old and i don't know if this is just teenage hormones or something worse. but i'm always losing my temper and getting mad over the smallest things. i'm afraid to tell my parents because they may not believe me.

My answer:
Oh!You don't have to tell them. They already know it. For parents, their child (YOU) are the priority. For you, your anger has now become a forced-priority. They know, telling you that you have anger problems would only aggravate it! Like, telling a mad "see, you are mad"!! .

But, now, you can tell them that you have recognized this problem (that is a great comforting thing). They would most lovingly participate to help you out of it. Just choose the right time, like when both are together, cheerful. (It is risky to discuss anger when we are vulenerable to anger, it is like lighting a matchstick with the air around rich with petrol fumes!).

It is not teenage hormones. It is the 'self-awareness' gushing in, like a volcano reversed into itself, During the transition into adulthood, the self-awareness that has dawned long ago, with that first pain-instinct somewhere in toes, fingers etc, is now growing a bit fast. The concepts, the abstract ones especially are the ones that subtly causes the mischief. (We notice only the incidental consequences of this 'self awareness', but not its root-cause, that is why it is bit difficult to understand! Try calling a 2 year old kid "fool"... it does not feel 'insulted'. Call the same to a kid of 10 to 16, it would react instantly. Call a 30 year old successful businessman the same 'fool', he would choose to hear it as 'cool' and may be charge you 5% extra, knowing, you are too busy, 'fooling' others around, to notice the over-billing!) It is wonderful that we are aware of the anger problems. Some unfortunate people even realize it a bit too late. Just the awareness of the problem itself solves 80 percent of it. For the rest of it, we need a bit of patience to allow that awareness to sink a bit deeper. Acceptance would deepen, allowing us, affording us to realise the "inevitability" of the situation. Please see, this acceptance deepens by itself, but too late, after crossing over the middle age, when it is quite useless, and that is why elderly people seem to offer no resistance to 'created' problems! When it deepens at youth, the right age, we retain the youth's power to use it accurately, skillfully, never to re-coil upon oneself (that is what 'being cool' is all about)!

(To try out an inexpensive, harmless trial-experiment, please try maintaining breath-awareness, especially when you sense that anger lurking around! It has to work. But any disbelief or belief even in this 'method' is the actual hurdle in its 'working'. Try with an open mind, saying, 'let me see')
Best wishes.

Devise a divisive device

I tend to look at mathematics as a device to divide first, and then do something else about it. Suppose…… (please try to create a very strong visual), suppose, we are just floating, drifting aimlessly, purposelessly, hopelessly, endlessly, or helplessly in that vast emptiness of space, far, far away from any galaxy, milky way or any source of light. We would be surrounded by utter darkness. We see nothing. We would be just a pure consciousness, just a pure joyousness, divine, pure awareness, and nothing else!

Here on this planet, we need to identify everything in its proper perspective, to support ourselves, to further our life, our kind, and propagation of all forms of life that support our kind. The identification starts with dividing. When we say, this is this, that is that, we are into the process of dividing things, separating it from others. Logic, when at its best, makes us at our best, to handle the material aspect of life. But when emotion divides us instead of uniting, trouble brews! We become attached to money, separating ourselves, dividing ourselves away from other ‘values’, we get heavily ‘grounded’. In India, there is (or better to say now, as “there was”) a tradition to apply a little moistened mud on the lips of a person whose life seems to be struggling to leave the body(when it is quite obvious that there is no scope to revive that person back to normal life). The belief is that we suggest to the departing soul “okay, your problem is that you are too heavily grounded, to leave this earth, so, here it is, take a little bit of the ground with you by tasting it for the last time”!

Oh! I am sorry. I apologise. I seem to have started off with too intense ideas. Let us come to normal senses. We need a ‘dividing-line’ between our likes, dislikes, sentiments, false-sentiments, addictions, weaknesses, etc on the one side, and the ‘need-of-the-situation’ (what is to be done practically, keeping aside those divisive forces from within, to deal with the situation effectively and successfully). Medical practitioners seem to be quite good at it at least while sitting on their ‘professional-chair’ within the ‘consulting-room’ (but try to shift their allotted window seat on a plane to that aisle, and they would re-act quite quixotically, forgetting that both the seats would take them to the same destination at the same time, perhaps a couple of seconds earlier, when in the aisle seat, since the window seated has to wait till the other makes way for him!). The good doctor just sifts the extraneous narratives, the painful details, to grasp the symptom accurately to arrive at the correct diagnosis. The busy Banker hurries to prompt the prospective borrower from the details of emotional woes due to financial turbulence, to get to the ‘net-worth’ of the borrower as early as possible, to be able to take up the next case. The ‘new-mother’ struggles to find the logical root cause of that abrupt outburst of intense crying of the baby child, by sifting through the deafening noise, peeping around the place where the child is lying. Now, if this mother gives way to her own sentimental affection, she would waste the precious time to put an end to the cause of the innocent child’s suffering. This is where the divisive device is needed to be devised, if no other experienced elderly lady is around. In business management classes, they put it simply “It is prudent to hire a squirrel, instead of training a horse to climb a tree!”. An intelligent entrepreneur needs to have a clarity to effortlessly divide the need-based-competence, cost effective outsourcing, while trying to manage the available resources and person(nel)-power (man-and-woman-power). There is a jocular or sarcastic way of putting it in Malayalam language, when they compare a cost-illiterate person, saying “Namboori enna theykyana poley” (Ironically, the most intelligent category of people are popularly the victims of traditional jokes. Before having a bath, there is a tradition to apply oil all over the body. They start with head. They pour out oil from the can into a cupped palm. It inadvertently exceeds the cubic capacity of the palm and drifts into the wrist heading towards the inner elbow, in a tiny stream. The abruptness of this spillage leaves no time to ponder. The sporadic act is to throw up the arm, over the head, to wipe the fore-arm on the middle of the top of the head, to salvage the spill-over. But the oil that is carefully cushioned in the cupped palm has not been fastened with a ‘seat-belt’, and it is left to have a free-fall to the rear! The bulk of the oil is lost! So the saying “Like that ‘X’ applies the oil to oneself”, when somebody thoughtlessly incurs huge loss to save some trifle wastage.

In the name of grooming a child into a brilliant performer at academics, the parent inadvertently creates an ‘emotional-divide’ between the child and self, which seems to grow and last the life-span. The intolerance that sprouts in the child, eventually drives the parent to an old-age home, to wait for the natural end, to conclusively deal with the ‘problem’. The mother-in-law fails to notice the ‘dividing’ line where her role as a mother has ended when the son now ‘heads’ a family of his own, and the wrong attachment for his well-being, the over-protectionism creates a virtual device that acts as a divisive force. I put it as mildly as possible, when I quiz the parents thus : “Is your affection / love for your children your strength or your weakness?”. I do not insist on a reply or answer. It is now up to them to devise a divisive device, that would help them to avoid a virtual ‘divide’ within the hitherto well-knit family.


(Tail-piece: Sometimes, we have to divide to rule! I, for instance, distanced myself from a popular example, which the reader would have been reminded of, and would have fitted well somewhere, when I quoted a ‘doctor’. I omitted it, to gain the reader’s liberal pat “Good, in fact there is another better example, perhaps it did not occur to this fellow…. A gynaecologist, in some complicated deliveries, asks routinely, though knowing too well the expected reply, ‘Only one can be saved, either the mother or the child. Now what do you choose’… that is the dividing-line-clarity!” )

Psn(6th June, 2010)

Music Meherbaani

Those who are blessed with an "ear" for music do not always fully realise its worth!!! Though difficult to "measure" it logically/mathematically, I would be tempted to use an example. For instance, if that 'feeling' of togetherness amidst like-minded, loving people is on a scale of 1 to 100, then people who are music-deaf oscillate between 1 to 10 when they are alone/lonely and when they are amidst a pleasant company of people/work-they-like/pastime etc... And those who have an ear for music oscillate between 70 to 90 ..... !!! Alone, or when lonely, even an echo of a good song noiselessly within would ensure that they do not slip below 70. And usually there are above 80, very easily scaling up to 90 quite often. (That 100 is utter joyousness, the peak, a state of meditativeness, exclusively reserved for the fortunate few, where silence is the ultimate form of Music!!!

Musically yours,
psn(6th June, 2010)