Number Game

Few people are very comfortable with numbers.

As a kid, I used to wonder, what if we were taught to read a language with just the numbers.

It would make printing a bit simpler. And reading is just a question of practice. Use comas between numbers that stand for each alphabet, and the the space between words, as usual. Then came the familiarity with encryption using numbers. But that was made complex, with a purpose. When the teacher taught the articles 'A' , 'An' and 'The', I tried to ask myself, why did “they” (who ever that 'they' were!), stop with just 'A' assigning it the value one, single, singular....

Later it dawned on me that these numbers were already burdened carrying different concepts on their shoulders. Numerals could be used in variety of ways, to signify entirely different things. It is merely a symbol, and we assign values to it.

This question took me back to all the earlier thoughts I had, when I used to spend my leisure with numbers. The question was a bit uncommon.

If only parents show equal interest to play with numbers, as they do while teaching rhymes like twinkle twinkle little star etc, the child would have a wonderful headstart with subtle looking concepts, and learn the art of learning .... that is what I feel. Not just with counting 1 to 10 or 100, the art of 'assigning ' values, using numerals as symbols. With alphabets, we have limitations. English alphabets are used only for English language. Numerals go beyond language. (It may be of interest to note that ancient Masters in India combined poetry, science and mathematics into brief verses, interchanging values of numerals, alphabets, and retaining the emotional flavour in logical use of alphabets, words, numbers, all in one! So, with very little strain on memory, remembering just a poem/verse, one can locate maths, science etc embedded in it for ready reference!)

The asker seems to be satisfied at least for the time being, with the answer, having posed the question, out of a sincere concern. Again it is the love for numbers, that persuaded to even seek for an answer. The answer had to find its verification within the asker, for validity. That is the very nature of the question!

psn(22^nd June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110620062619AAn1UYM

Does brain process numbers in some special way compared to other stuff?

I've noticed one thing: when I speak a foreign language, which I am relatively fluent with, everything goes smoothly but when it comes to numbers, I accidentally jump to my native language and pronounce those numbers in my native language. I have to remember about this all the time if I want to pronounce numbers in that foreign language and once I forget about this, it happens again. I wonder if there is some scientific explanation for this phenomena.

PS. In case this is related: in university and school I studied math a lot and now work in IT.

My answer:

It is not that the 'brain' chooses a particular way. It is an instinctive pattern that is formed with lots of repetition. We see kids, who learn to spell, and if they learn it with wrong spelling for a number of times, they tend to repeat that wrong spelling in a hurry, and then may correct it later on...
We respond very fast, instinctively, when our name is called. Repetition has a special effect. Cashiers will have to fight hard to turn the notes without counting them! And ask them to change the language, and the speed gets reduced, or..... if the fingers are instinctive to a set speed, the number goes wrong.
(there is that thinking language for our verbal thoughts. When there is an unexpected pain, the emotional language comes out.... Ouch, Ayyo, aaah, etc... the word we associate to deep emotions. Incidentally, most people feel only pain as their deepest emotion!)
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When we decide to process the number, we refer to our memory, and choose the most habitual way of dealing with numbers. We trust the way we are used to, the language, the intonation, etc. The number actually 'rings' or 'sounds' within us. The verbalised thought process starts.
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Actually, when a foreign language is fluent, the numbers ought to be also fluent. But for that we need to have good practice of speaking that language, and we have to stay in touch with spoken use.

Negativity, a misnomer sometimes.

The other day, I received a response from a friend of mine, to my blog regarding “Dealing with negative attitude at workplace”.

There in, there was an instance quoted which looked like a misnomer about negativity. I wrote back to clarify, that the instance was not necessarily a case of negative attitude, but just a wrong view due to a wrong positioning of the mind at that point of time. Something like, we see the movie a bit differently viewing it from the wrong side of the screen! (In villages, with that humble single projector, and a white cloth, people see the screening gathering on both the sides of the screen in that open-air theatre or just the barren field!). It so happened that I had an occasion to discus the different aspects of mind, which are virtual 'centers' (so named for easy identification of pattern of pre-judices and the resultant stands taken up by the mind, over a period of time... if neglected, this pattern of prejudice could become an attitude too, like the simple cold if neglected becoming a pneumonia or so :) ....)

Anyway, it may not help to mention the entire exchange of our mails here. But if somebody were to see the present question and answer together with that blog, it is possible to note that subtle difference, where we mistake somebody, trying to 'read' an attitude in them, because of a pre-judgement, or a pre-judice within us(again, not a negativity within us, but maybe, just a sort of conditioning in us), which prevents us to try to look beyond, and see other possibilities too. If we can open up a little more, it would enhance our communication skills a lot more! Understanding the other person correctly.... or.... to be more specific, to grasp them, the way they think, affords a better reach to the other person. It may not happen every time, but with persistence, over a period of time, we do evolve. “Reaching the mind of the asker” is the popular way of stating this phenomenon. The asker, I presumed , must have felt that the impression may be wrong about the other person, and that is why the question. Unless some other possibility could be 'seen' the mind seeks consolation from its own prejudice that may be the other person thinks that 'I'm a stupid', and that is why this “attitude” towards 'me'! Without this 'other possibility' there is no convincing ourselves about our own 'wrong center of mind' (that prejudice/preconclusion), and we deal with the other person, thinking that they look at us as a stupid!

Children, happen to invoke their 'lateral' thinking ability or creativity, at times, by mere reason of the absence of a prejudice ... prejudice is yet to grow within them. For example, the father imposes a condition to the kid “Okay, I shall take along for shopping, but you should not ask me to buy anything there, for you .... no request like...'please dad... buy me this thing, that thing...' etc”. The kid agrees, and at the shop, he quietly reminds the dad, “Dad, you know I like red colour a lot” and gives a broad smile! (As if, the dad does not know at all, the kid's color of liking! ). The dad too, would chuckle, and at least in appreciation of this kid's resourcefulness, buy that red coloured item, relaxing the stiff condition. Here, the dad need not feel that the kid is looking at the dad as a stupid-dad. He is just complying the condition that he should not “ask” for anything to be bought, but diplomatically puts the request with a reminder about just that most-liked-color, which is also there now in that show-case in that shop!

The question and the answer, by itself, does not signify any big concept, but as an instance it helps to further clarify the 'negativity' with an instance of an exception(like this one)!

psn(21^st June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110621070254AAwmidV

Why do I feel like they think I'm stupid because they say....?

for example I asked a lady what her name was to check out her book at the library and she said "Sabrina S-a-b-r-i-n-a"
I know how to spell Sabrina! One of the easiest names to spell!

I am part of a very rare syndrome group in two places online. Anyway one gal said "I'm Chris' mom I'm remarried that's why my name is different from his"

Isn't it common sense and unspoken that she is remarried hence the difference in last names?! Why did she have to state the obvious?

Again why do I feel like they think I'm stupid when they said the above?

My answer:

In both these cases, the possibility could be also that, they are trying to get your attention towards their names. May be they find it as yet another harmless (non controversial) way to draw a little more attention to their names. People feel more secure and happy when others remember them plus their names!

A "Friendly" Spouse.

The most tough puzzle that we face is to be able to convert our spouse into our friend. We are not prepared to first 'become' their friend. They should become our friend. That is the whole puzzle about. And then we find it convenient to confide , confidently, our confidential matters, to suit only us! It is almost like that tussle , refusal by the politicians to allow a 'PM' to be subjected to investigated on charges of corruption by a 'Lokpal'!!!

We know logically, the practical difficulties, in trying to befriend a spouse. So, the next choice is to keep waiting for that spouse to begin with CBM (Confidence Building Measures) first, and live, or just spend a whole lifetime, with that consolation.

We all love to watch horror films, psycho films etc. But if we visualise, being inside that film, in that story, it is not any more a thing to 'love'. That is exactly one of the points of differences faced by a spouse, compared to a friend. The spouse is choicelessly inside the story. A friend has a choice always, and can walk out of it anytime. Not that a spouse can never be a friend. It needs tremendous emotional stability, and a deep sense of acceptance, to keep aside those practical difficulties, and yet offer a friendly approach to a spouse. And, like a true friend, it is likely to be just one-sided. No 'accounts' between friends.

Please see, 'trust' and 'emotional stability', both are essential to forge a good friendship. Whether it is between spouses, or between parent and child. Both these qualities are not available to logical evaluation. But they are 'reasonable' enough! Reasoning is the bridge between logic and emotion within us. (Does it not sound as if logic and emotion are like spouses within us, and if they are incompatible to each other, that friendly marriage even right within us is a struggle to sustain! The outside is then, a mere shadow boxing, with the poor 'other' spouse.... I mean....... our only spouse, of course!)

psn(21^st June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110619095630AAKh6od

Why are we not supposed to share everything with our spouse/lover while we share everything with our friend?

God offers us to choose the two relationship by our own in the life. Friendship & Spouse. Why we are not 100% transparent to our spouse/lover while we are being an empty diary to our best friend.. I am sure majority of people is not sharing everything to their spouse/lover but they are fully transparent to their best friend.

My Answer:

Trust is the basic element that decides.
Emotional stability is the equally important element.
The demands on 'emotional stability' are more on the spouse than a friend.
(For instance, if we are afflicted by 'AIDS' virus, soon after marriage, not necessarily due to our negligence or wilful misdeed, a friend finds it easier to sympathise. But a spouse has to exercise extra caution, and fore-go a physiological need for the rest of the life.... the demands on a spouse is a bit larger. It is almost like the difference between watching a movie, and being inside the story of the movie!).
Agreed, not all situations are that badly extreme, in day-to-day life. But apprehensions creep in without waiting for permissions. And emotional issues are sought to be dealt with logically, and this is where differences creep in most often. With a friend, the very basis is unconditional, and logic does not creep in that fast.
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Not just about a spouse.... Fortunate are those children who find their parent or parents to be "like" their friends!

Make Up

I did not imagine that somebody would ask about the right age for wearing a make-up!

(I thought, now-a-days, they start it on, from day-one, and then we never know.... like some of those poor destitute girls, who never know when they had lost their virginity! I could not get over the thought of it, when I heard a dialogue to that effect in some old Hindi movie, years ago!).

There is no age for almost any dis-ease to invade us these days. Children cannot afford 'ease' even during their childhood. A “dis” ease strikes them. We have juvenile diabetes, hole in the heart, and what not. All those ailments which were expected to 'come' after mid-50's are now available in junior-sizes too!

So why forsake that 'make-up'...? (With that stupendous advancement in technology, surgery etc, most film stars are able to re-model their children as viable-stars with 'good' looks, a photogenic face, etc. )

The question gave me an opportunity to look at how I would like to view it, if allowed that freedom. Having stayed/swayed away from those make-up gadgets for too long, I felt it is reasonably okay, to talk from my experience, of how it feels.

Psn(21st June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110620193336AAq255i

What age do you think is the most appropriate to wear makeup these days?

I'm just very curious to see what most people think about this question. I see alot of people my age wearing makeup and i'm 12 years old. I think its developing an influence on me.. I'm starting to wear eyeshadow and eyeliner not too much eyeliner though. Eyeliner that actually looks realistic!! if you know what I mean by this!

Most of you guys are saying 13 years old. I'm turning 13 in July! :

If i did continue what I'm doing now, would i get even more acne then what's awaiting for me ahead.(Not saying that i do.. haha thank goodness)

My Answer:

See, the name itself is "makeup"...
It is a compensation for something already lost.... Like we say, "makeup" for the time lost in seeing a movie during school-examination study-period, by sitting late at night to study.
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Those baby powders are strongly recommended by doctors, to avoid itches for the baby, between thigh, legs etc, ... Now-a-days, they pin up a huge bag ("good upto 5 kg" even), when they don't have time to change nappies like old days for the babies. (I don't know if it is my luck/ill-luck to have missed such make-up in my childhood. The cost of those powders were relatively prohibitive, and even the thought of trying them out did not occur to elders around!)...
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Having seen villages at very close quarters, during childhood, I know for certain, that nothing can ever match the natural beauties, and the use of natural herbs etc during bath, to keep the skin so wonderfully clean, the pores so communicative with humidity of the atmosphere, that beauty seems almost an inevitable by product! (We spend almost the same time, at all most all the cages in a zoo, when no two animals are of same colour, same face-cut, size etc. They all look beautiful the way they are. Somewhere we seem to have created a needless competition amongst ourselves, and now we spend a large chunk of our hard-earned money, more than on our food, for 'make-up'. Not many would even like to read this, leave alone think of even accepting this 'idea'. In fact, any 'make-up' is an idea, a man-made-idea, and what I try to say is about accepting the way we are, the way nature made us!).
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Thanks for the question! The question itself was not a "make-up", it is natural, because of what we see around us now.

Hard or Hardly Spiritual

From what others used to comment about me, especially during the childhood days, I found it worth while to look at one comment that was a bit common. It was about the 'type' of some of the questions that I used to ask others. I was unable to understand what was so strange about the questions, then, at that age. The other usual comments which most elders say about most children then(we used to pool those comments, and then discuss them), used to be given only scant attention though after some due consideration (if it is so, it is so.... okay... what else to do about it? Was the usual approach, when such comments(the negative ones) did not accompany any practical suggestions). It is the 'type' of some of the questions, that gave me perhaps a good head start. But, whether fortunately or not, whether it was beneficial for me or not, none of them 'named' the 'type' of questions. Peculiarly enough, in those days, the general trend or attitude of the people that I came across around me was to ignore such questions, as something very irrelavant! Now, when I look back, I am able to 'feel' its tremendous significance, and also am able to view the people then, with a judiciously discrete angle. Fault finding attitude does not help at all.

All these observations are to give a feel of what the earlier generation would have looked like, to the younger ones of today. It has significance, when we try to ask why that spiritual training did not form a part of 'main' menu at domestic front , or how it dwindled over a period of time.

Now, we are at a point where 'spirituality' seems like a matter of choice, its being liked a matter of chance, or even a 'left-out' alternative for those unfortunate ones who do not find themselves to fit into anything else, because of their peculiar emotional disposition or attitude. (My elders, ofcourse, well meaningly, tried to dissuade me from undertaking those strenous routines suggested by the Yoga programs that I chose. And I too, on my part, due to great respect for them, and my trust in their genuine concern about me, always looked at the reasons put forth by them, while advising so. It is the bulk of these observations made by me , about two decades and over ago, that also provides an insight into the common mind-structure of the people around at that point of time). All this goes into how spirituality is looked at. How the words resonate into the children of the next generation would decide how they would look at life, how they would look at ancient values, etc. (It is not just the vocabulary, the language, the words, the accent, only that goes into the child. It is the concepts, that become instinctive when they respond, and they struggle to strip it off themselves, when they find it inappropriate to the situation later on in their lives. For instance, some of our children feel ashamed of certain traits that they are unable to rid of when they 'settle down' at jobs in western countries).

Those words which are used to convey the affairs of inner well being are the ones, perhaps, which underwent more of needless distortions, though maybe inadvertently.

Spirituality is one of those. That is why the question ...... whether “hard work” or 'working hardly” takes a person onwards on a spiritual path! 'Hard work' is about physical strain. Spirituality is about the spirit. If spirit is something intangible, and hence difficult to believe, then, allow it the concession that 'maybe' it has something to do with our life, which is not the body, the mind, but something that keeps us going, till somebody else finds it fit to dispose our inanimate body as a needless or useless garbage! That is what those medical certificates are as yet able to define death as... just the 'clinical' death! So, where is the question of going 'hard' on the spirit, if spirituality is what we are trying to pursue? May be we are required to go very intense about it, at our very best. If that seems hard, then comes the issue of what makes it hard. That is where, the 'initial' practices deal with the hard aspects....... these hard aspects are usually gross..... the gross body, and its gross influence over “our” attention..... the “our” being our “being” itself!!! (The bulk of later practices, seldom require any strain or hard work... it is more about dynamic state of inaction rather!)

Politically, and diplomatically, all the foregoing explanation is not at all needed to substantiate the answer for the question about hard work being attached to spirituality. It is enough to state instances where somebody got enlightened in a moment, unasked, unsought, just like that, as a matter of chance, as a matter of luck! But that kind of reply does not help to persuade, inspire and motivate people.

My answer did not seem to find an appeal in the asker's mind. Perhaps, the asker has already decided, that the way spirituality is supposed to be understood, and the way the bulk of the people appear to look at it, there is no way, other than its being hard, other than fulfilling its demand of a very hard work, to make any noteworthy progress! So, this time, I decided to look at it the other way. If similar views are held by many more, let us try to open a possibility to look at it other-wise too!

psn(18^th June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnF6HTOZHSvankSBnRzXaG6RHQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20110616191912AAZ91Rv

What makes you easy to move on spiritual “path” working hard or hardly working in life?

My answer:

Spiritual path does not even ask about how we work (hard or hardly). To the very fortunate people, the ultimate possibility of a spiritual path happens in just one moment!!! (In such cases, where was the time available for hard-work or lazy(ing) hours!
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Some of us are very eager and a bit restless (like those children who do not take their eyes off a package of gift just arrived for them on an occasion, and are very restless, excited etc!!!).
Such people, go to any length to progress on the spiritual path. It means they do whatever it takes! They may sit very still at the very same place for 'unreasonably' long period of time! The onlookers may call it 'hardly working' (but those who sit like that know how tough it is to sit thus!).
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The reason why this question arises, relating spiritual path with 'work' is simply because we see lots of unusual exercises, exertions, undertaken by spiritual people. The rigid routine observed dissuades ordinary people (Oh! that is not my cup of tea! No guarantee even, after so much circus!).
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So, we have several dissimilar, disproportionate examples and instances. Zen masters(may) 'appear' to be the most crude and gross ones! But in reality, they are the most compassionate ones!
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Like any other technology, spirituality too has undergone lots of "advancement". Today we have good tools that can mix "working in life" and spiritual pursuit simultaneously. For spiritual path, only requirement that could not be diluted or compromised is the "intensity". The results are directly proportional to the intensity, and never related to hard work or hardly working! Intensity makes the "MOVE" easy.... not the hard work or hardly working! (For proof, please look at students who struggle with academics to score. Though very rare and few, there are students who are very intense, and grasp the deep fundamentals, the deep concepts very quick, and for them, the "move" is easy, without the need of much hard work! The grasp is 'perception' dependent. Deeper the ability to perceive, better the results, and lesser the efforts required!).

Dealing with negative attitude at Workplace

Why people are more bothered about 'dealing' with negative attitude only at “workplace”, is just because it affects material aspect of life(Survival). At home, it does affect, but there are no laws which are enforceable. Just tolerate to the “maximum” possible extent. After that, part ways. One cannot divorce a job that easily. Attrition rate worries the employers only because there are laws in place which make it difficult to fire the inefficient ones! So, the efficient ones who leave, are the result of that worry, not the cause of worry. Now, when there is a sudden increase of inefficient ones (due to any reason, not just lack of skill, job-specific-qualification, or so...), the possibility of negative tendencies to overpower the inter-personal-relationship , increase. The results are obvious. It affects the management from productivity point of view, and the workers from emotional point of view. The emotion-related results cause irrepairable damage to individuals. That is when a question such as this comes up.

(My sole question on Yahoo Answers finds one link amongst many other aspects, to this question. We as emotional beings find it helplessly necessary to carry the 'residue' of what happens at home, work place, and the outside world everywhere we go! So it has to affect our over-all performance in life itself!).

Here, we shall try to restrict our observations to confine to the area demarcated 'question-specific'.

psn(17^th June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/answer?qid=20110616092436AAdET4o

Can you change a persons bad attitude especially in job place.?

I have aLady in ma Work place, she has a negative attitude in such a way that she is un-touchable.
Is there away she can change her attitude?

My answer:

Attitude is a very personal thing.

Can we change the patriotism of people like "Bhagat Singh"?

Even today, politicians find it difficult to discourage the famous person trying to go on fast against corruption!

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We are at a "work-place" only to work. Because, we need money(salary), and that comes only if we work. Now, if the employer is intelligent, he may extract more work for less pay. That itself keeps a struggle on an on-going basis.

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Amongst the 'workers', having 'settled' down for a work, nothing stops them from 'relating' to each other. On the other hand, very few are capable of holding back their "emotional" needs, till they return home. At workplace, the relationship is purely logical. At home, the relationship is purely emotional. If logic enters home-relationship, the possibility of a quarrel is greater. conversely, if emotion overpowers at workplace, productivity is going to be affected further (this "further" can be positive or negative, depending upon what kind of relationship these emotional bonds turn out to be!).

Some kind of jobs demand a little bit of emotional relationship. Like fire fighting, army job, medical field etc. Team spirit depends upon the emotional attitude. Rules at workplace try to minimise the dependence on emotional disposition of a worker. That is why, sometimes, an emotionally unstable person can churn out good results when left alone to perform at a workplace with least dependence on others around.

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The question (THIS question) arises, because, we as human beings cannot remain like robots at all the times, (indifferent to the attitude of others, especially negative attitude). All we can do is to maintain the "awareness" about the very nature of emotional attitude, its importance, its validity in the given situation, and try to keep our own stability within us (not allowing the situation outside to affect our inside-emotions). Over a period of time, the other person may realise the futility of such negative attitude and may refrain from exhibiting (if unable to transforming) it.

This is what is practically possible.

(Some people, who evolve into strong emotional stability can bring positive changes in others).

Relation between Dream and Real

A very tricky question indeed.

And quite an old question too. Most of us, do repeat the question, more freely within ourselves. But to others, we ask a bit diplomatically, avoiding repetition. Safe to ask a 'totally' different person! (I remember, during school days, our class mates used to discuss, about whom to ask such questions.... not all the teachers were 'student-friendly'! It is only now, that we got ourselves well-tamed, and 'used' to facing 'barking-people' at public places which are manned by government servants!).

No soon somebody talks about a dream, people around start putting on their own pair of glasses. Some look through dark glasses, some through yellow ones (what we derive from the saying 'everything looks yellow to a jaundiced eye'... etc), some through green ... some through opaque ones!!!! (the opaque lens users prefer to claim, see, 'I still see' showing the open eyes, eye-lids not closed, but lens opaque, hearing without listening!)...

The reason, why the 'dream-interpretation-sessions' finds very little team-spirit is simply because of the very nature of state in which they occur. Even when awake, the mind wanders, and very little is fully grasped. So, the hearsay later on churns out only distorted versions. Then what about dreams? That is the contention, and quite valid too.

The question does not seek the asker's permission to arise from within. When the situation outside is very precarious, the mind does turn towards a dream like that drowning man willing to even trust a piece of straw floating!

(It is up to the individual, to continue the inclination towards a dream)...

psn(17^th June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110616204053AADlsl6&pa=FZB6NXXtFWMW0cLWwOoS8qqWg3DtNtJkNe3gdlLgYh1uD7Xh.cY-&paid=add_watch

Is there any relation between dream and real life?

My answer:

The "relation" could be
1) about the dreamer
2) about the events in the life of the dreamer, and the dreams
(other relations are derived ones from the above two. There is the dream and the dreamer, and it is out of these two only, that we can try to find any relation.
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1) If the dreamer has peak levels of self-awareness, the dream and the real life (the events) can be related based on the levels of awareness. For example, a child has very low levels of self-awareness. We see a child farts, and turns back to find out where the sound has come from! A mentally ill patient may not be able to relate events within the real life itself, so, even our 'real' life for that patient is almost as mixed up as a wild dream.
2). The state of mind during the dream decides the relation of the dream with real life. With the sensory level perception withdrawn (not plugged or shut off... we do not smell though our noses are open, even if a hot food is place near us during sleep.. we do not hear even if somebody calls us, our ears are still open!), so,, with the sensory level perception withdrawn, the mind can be active, or the mind can be still. If the mind is active, it is free to take out old CD's and replay them, and make permutation and combination, feel the related emotions, choose to remember the results, and confuse us further during the next wake-up period. This is just a dream. If the self awareness is also there, it becomes a hallucination. That is the only difference. There is a third possibility, though very rare. A good deep sleep in full awarenesss. The body is at rest, with sensory perceptions withdrawn. The mind is at rest, with almost zero thoughts. Just the 'being' the witnessing aspect within us is fully conscious, and aware. In such a state, the perceptions are very deep, and real. In fact, such state allows filtering of even the distortions due to wake state which are purely due to limitations of sensory level of perception.... that is why there are stray instances of 'dreams' coming true for some people. Spiritual people strive to reach this state at will. For others, it is just a matter of luck, or chance. The possibility is there for all, everyone without exception. The question is, whether we leave it to luck to allow it to happen by 'itself' or we are on a fast-forward, like those spiritual people!
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Good question. Thanks. Enjoyed answering it yet again, afresh.

Unjustified Tolerance levels of Women

At the very outset, I will have to mention a few disclosures, which may sound like 'disclaimers'. But, in experience, they may end up as a claim, that this is going to be so!

There is a great emotional turbulence, which started a few decades ago, and is now getting manifested in several ways. Most unpredictable ways. It seems to challenge the very future of our social 'set-up' to which we are 'used to' .... in the sense that, we are being forced out of our psychological 'comfort-zones'. Emotional stability is the main foundation stone of that psychological comfort-zone.

The 'relationships' or the bonds (the family-bonds) in any present day family, seems to hang precariously on the emotional well-being of a woman of that family. And when that very 'woman of the house' gets shaken badly as a class, it causes a worry, a fear, a concern in the collective minds of the society as a whole. What gets discussed is just the residue of after-effects, not even the results of the effects. That is why, discussions on forums do not really seem to get us anywhere. In some communities, getting a suitable bride has become very difficult (there are girls, but not willing brides!). Young women, working women in particular seem to be suddenly required to face alone, the brunt of an unreliable society. The anxiety they carry is on all fronts. The biological problems have a long term adverse effect on them. A glance at the pattern of questions asked on an open forum where the individual identities can be safely withheld, evidences this level and pattern of anxiety. Somehow, “everybody's concern” is unable to come within the reach of a 'somebody' and nobody is able to do anything about it. Emotion related problems are indeed a very great priority. But they get eclipsed due to other materialistic problems, which occupies the mind's anxiety-tolerance capabilities, on a day-to-day basis! The irony is that unless we sincerely address the emotion related problems sensibly, handling of materialistic/logic-oriented problems of day to day life is far from reach.

In this back-drop, how far is a 'mind' going to pay any serious attention to a question which everybody can see to be so true in daily life, is in itself a sort of a disclaimer. 'No claimant' ready to seek an answer, makes a disclaimer redundant!

I felt an intense emotional desire to invite attention towards this wonderful question. And that is all my intention. The very 'drawing of attention' towards it is an ample reward. Let the mind of the reader seek an answer, not necessarily to feel inclined to accept mine. The 'thirst' will haunt that mind till it is quenched. All I seek to do is to remind that there is a latent but intense thirst within.

psn(16th June, 2011)


http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/answer?qid=20110616021852AAQNLeQ

Why women let everything go easily whether its injustice?
Lets discuss point to point:
They r being called and treated inferior but never raise voice against it.
Always taken granted for everything whether in laws home or mother's home.
Mindset tht she has to obey,bow down and do work of her husband especially cleaning shoes,arranging clothes etc.(these r only few egs).
One more inspite of knowing husband's pre or post affair they forgive them easily.
WHY ITS SO?

My answer:
This is a very deep question.
Unfortunately, it is also a very relevant question, for two reasons at least. 1. It is happening even today amidst "Indian" women 2.Even the concerned/affected/abnormally tolerant/illogically women do not seem to bother to 'explain' (or are unable to explain) why they continue to undergo such suffering.
..
The answer is likely to take us deep into our culture, tradition etc. It requires an open mind, and patience to understand the 'why' (it does not mean or include that 'understanding' is 'accepting' the reasons as valid. It is just like the crime investigators try to find out the motive, with an open mind, so that the deep hidden motives gets discovered, and superficial motives do not become innocent victims of circumstances!).
..
Women by nature (as a gift from mother nature), are inclined emotionally/intuitively than their counterpart, the males. Emotions do not obey logic. Emotions give disproportionate strength of endurance (for example, a good soldier if emotionally very patriotic, will defy logic, baffle medical scientists, when that soldier continues to fight bravely till the very last breath, despite being fatally wounded by bullets at several places. Indian soldiers are a bit famous for this since ancient times.). Now , in a country where a male is so strong emotionally, what about the woman who gives birth to such brave sons!
..
This physiological potential and capability was well recognised by highly evolved spiritual masters of ancient times (they were in abundant number in ancient India). They wove it into the fabric of society, for a much higher purpose, spirituality. Spirituality demands tremendous amount of patience and tolerance levels. "Breaking point" is at the highest level of severity on spiritual path. The people were evolved, capable of immense trust in these spiritual masters. That is why they accepted and adopted certain standards as 'rules of life' , 'way of life' (this way of life later came to be known by the name "Hinduism". This "hinduism" still later came to be known as a 'religion', though it does not fulfil any norm of all other known religions of the world. There is no single God, no authority to convert/reconvert, no uniform pattern of prayer, temple visit, no specific prescriptions, etc. Even the bulk of ancient texts are addressed to "individuals" and not to "group of followers" as in other religions. Perhaps, only one ancient book addresses to various classes... the Manusmriti.).
..
For evidence , we can take a look at the traditions, or the residual of traditions, which we follow a bit blindly, even today. We call the offering of bride as "Kanya-daan" or a charity (as if that bride is some cow or donkey, to be used by the receiver of charity, and the receiver is treated as a proxy for lord 'Vishnu' ... a God-like-status. ). There are several rituals, which logically seem utterly stupid. That is why, there is a clear divide now. Those women who are logically trained (thanks to the high-tech literacy-education made available in cities, today), are the first to revolt against these traditions. They choose to fight this injustice of differential treatment to women. Very true, it is indeed a gross injustice, if the very purpose is not going to be fulfilled.
..
The question is relevant because, even some of the most educated women quietly bear the brunt at home front. To know the reason for this, the enquiry can be in two ways. 1.The commonly known way is with a scientific temper, using evolved logical skills. We have to look at physiological aspects where the genes carry certain pattern of response-behaviour to certain situations. We have to look at the transitional phase of social scenario, where the precedent creating/ or case-history-creating women do not really seem to have achieved any emotional benefit out of such revolt. Divorces do not seem to take them anywhere, make their lives any better, other than the consolation that they decided to come out of such 'needless' torture. 2. The less common way, but a sustaining, and more satisfying way is to walk down the same path, which the ancient spiritual masters did, and step into their way of looking, thinking, and try to find out IF they have happened to sow the seeds of such tolerance irretrieveably into the genes that would be handed down the generations. The presumption here, for trying to look at such a possibility is that, any evolved being would attempt to perpetuate the work of great value, also taking into consideration, the possibility that "corruption" of minds at a future date, by the future generations might erode the values. In which case, they prefer to seek insurance policies from genes, which are a bit incorruptible at micro level!
..
Already the answer is painstakingly long. :)

Tatkal Era

I was dumbfounded looking at this news item:
quote:
http://www.hindu.com/2011/06/14/stories/2011061454170400.htm

Tatkal applications for Class X exams
Students who failed to submit applications to take the State Board Class X special supplementary examinations (SSLC and OSLC streams) could do so under the tatkal scheme before June 22, stated a release from the Directorate of Government Examinations here on Monday

unquote:

It would be too long, before a kid would come up, and request entry into the only toilet in the home of a large family, on “tatkal” basis, ..... of course out of urgency.... !!! (Kids would never take up any thing that is routine, uninteresting, etc unless it becomes urgent, apart from being mandatory! Use of toilet is no different.

I was under the impression that “tatkal” is a purely temporary measure, not to be allowed to create a precedent, and a compulsion of unforseen situation. A temporary shelter was what the great kings thought of, when they had constructed large halls of massive stone work in ancient temples. Any natural calamity would render the people homeless, and they can take shelter.

Now, even computer wizards use this concept of 'tat' (that small specific, particular, span )'kaal' (of time, kaal) on a regular basis... When a bug is reported, just delete that portion of the program, as a 'tatkal' problem-solving measure, instead of fixing that bug. Nobody would notice it anyway, since that bug-creating-portion was only supposed to feed the data into a feedback-data bank for some future use.

“Working” couples bring junk food from nearby hotels that close down at the last hour of the day...(not that they have large bracket of open-hours, but have 'tied-up' with another bulk-manufacturer for disposing large left-overs at cheap rates!)......... of course on a “regular tatkal basis”.

Objective type of question-papers/answers, tele-interviews, snap-audits, and what not.... All those things which are 'regularised' now were supposed to be 'tat-kaalik' !!! But regularisation of 'temporary staff' on daily-wages, is postponed indefinitely.

psn(13th June, 2011)

Body Language

Very fortunately, a very dear and closely related elder around me had initiated me into the art of 'presenting' myself very gently, gracefully, and very humbly before the deity when visiting a temple. The reasons are many. There is a belief that the deity is suppose to radiate high charge of energy, and it is safer to remain 'out of the line of fire' by standing aside and peeping by bending the head lightly downwards, and turning to look sideways, and then look at the diety.

Doing this often, the respecting of elders, higher officials, etc came a bit easily (or naturally) to me. What I did not think of was the body language that also creeps in due to the mind-set or attitude adopted. Yes, it does help in many other ways too, that we may become aware of, only 'in due course'.

I felt happy to find a question that would find scope to look at just the body language. The very right kind of question came in, and I loved answering it.

The highlight is that the answer seemed to hit the mark, when the answerer commented after choosing the answer , saying that “ i have been told i do walk like i am going to hit some one lol” ...

Otherwise, the question seemed to vague. (Here, I suppose, I can claim having reached the mind of the asker, looking at the question itself!)

psn(13th June, 2011)

quote:

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110613053824AAE0cNz

Why does conversation stop?
why does conversation stop when i come into the room it's not with every one but most people i find it kind of rude my self it's like why couldn't you carry the conversation on when i walked in it's not like it was about me.
Additional details:
i am not the blabber mouth sort if i was i would understand mostly quite but chatty kind of person

My answer:
They say, communication is mostly body language, and conversation is just about 10% or so.
Maybe some people radiate powerful body language which draws the attention of others, when they enter a place, and so, obviously, their present activity (maybe...conversation) pauses.
..
(try entering the room very gently, or casually, .... may be..... others might feel it okay to at least finish the conversation-topic.)

Confidence

I wonder whether 'confidence' is the exact opposite of fear, anxiety, apprehension or its likes. 'Courage' doesn't seem to fit in as an opposite of those negative emotions. For instance, a person who is confident that the last bus has not yet left, and awaits that bus at that desolate bus stop, in utter darkness, cannot be called 'courageous' , unless that situation is attributed with additional vulnerabilities like 'ghost-ridden' place at night-times, etc. 'Fearless' could simply mean absence of fear and not necessarily a presence of courage. Maybe 'confide' comes closer to confidence, and if we have that self-confidence, it simply means we have that “self-trust”! Now, trust is a personal quality, and does not pre-suppose any performance-guarantee. In that sense, if that self-confidence fails, later on, we can always rename it as 'my own over-confidence'!

Instead of asking about positive traits, there was an asker who simply chose to seek the clarification about 'fear' and 'fearless' which comes 'sometimes'. The innocence of the asker's mind is in the words 'caught' by fear! The contrast is 'became' fearless! Now that ought to attract any person who is keen to address the 'mind of the asker'.

Great spiritual masters have spoken at length and in-depth about fear. It is not that easy to even grasp the concepts, leave alone getting rid of it! Fear is perhaps the last of the negative emotions to leave us. What I attempted is to suggest a simple and practical 'approach'. This 'approach' to be really practical, has to be within the reach of the asker. Maybe, others may find it worth re-visiting their own fears or even the false-pretensions about fearlessness, as I did unto myself, while attempting an answer.
psn(11th June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110610130857AAQDSJf
My trouble is some times fear caught me and i cant do any thing & some times i became fearless and do anything?
how i will be more confident!
My Answer:
Fear is the most difficult one to get rid of, amongst the negative emotions. Also, fear comes up faster than other negatives. It gives less response time, like that fielder on the 'slip' or the wicket keeper, who is close to the batsman.
If we are familiar with a few situations, which we know that it is likely to cause fear, we can try to visualise those situations when we feel quite relaxed, healthy, safe, and strong. Allow the fear to creep in during those visualisation sessions, and just observe them. But care should be taken to disallow "our" participation to those fear-thought-processes, or invoking memories that aggrevate the fear. Yes, fear too is a mere thought process. If there is a venomous snake beside us, and we fail to recognise its shape, size etc, there is no room for fear (by the way, snake can remain more still than even a stone, which is 'supposed' to be inanimate!). This exercise is tough, but when the asker indicated that 'sometimes i become fearless'.... the potential to undertake such exercise is evident!!
(Food, or intakes, nervous stimulants, also affects the fear recurrence).
For those who are eager to go deeper, they can look within, and improve the 'positive attitude' (a less popular word is 'Right center' of the mind). When that 'right center' dominates, fear has less grip over us. We common people often oscillate between right and wrong centers, and then invoke memory and imagination, that too quite unawares, and that causes such uncertain/unpredictable tendencies. With some practice, we can learn two things, first to root at right/positive center, two to invoke memory and / or imagination at will. Eminent teachers at higher schools of learning like MBA etc strive to train students of high level/aptitude/skills into such skills, to be able to manage tough situations in business enterprises, where interpersonal skills matter the most at apex levels!
Confidence is a consequence of evolvement, and not the purpose

Behavior, nature and then spirituality

I am not quite sure, whether it is my 'behavior' or my 'nature' that takes me towards such tricky questions!

When people say, “it is his nature”, I used to wonder, as to what exactly they are referring to? His habit, behaviour, reaction-pattern, or just that 'nature' that could be unique to each individual as a contra-distinguished from general 'human-nature'. Being 'used to' wonder thus, has perhaps landed me where I am now! (helplessly struck into that deep quick-sand of 'tendency to give out unsolicited suggestions... advice.... ideas... or whatever!!!).

Quite concerned to know if I happen to be disturbing the 'settled' minds of people, youngsters in particular, I got a chance to ask an youngster who I presumed, would have been reading some of my blogs, question-answers, etc. The response, was a reward in itself, as far as I was concerned! It did disturb the youngster, not in the sense of causing irritation (disturb is just stirring... we disturb a sleeping person, where becoming alert, awake etc also is a better choice... in that sense of disturbing, stirring, to stimulate interest...). That youngster said that reading them sets that youngster to look at what makes that youngster think the way that person does! Anyway, this paragraph is slightly out of context, but I thought it might be handy for a person who is likely to get interested to look deeper into that thin overlapping line between behavior and nature.

'Spirituality is to go beyond nature'.. is what I was taught by my teacher. (this is the only piece that I had to omit out of the answer, but it finds a rightful place in the blog.

psn(9th June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110609011601AAnUWEy
What is the difference between human behaviour and human nature......?
My answer:
Behavior is response or reaction by the mind (We say, why do you 'act' like a mad fellow!)
Nature is physiological (of which, the brain is also an integral part, and is likely to be mistaken as the mind.) We say, to err is human... it simply means the physiological limitations, to be still more specific, the sensory level of perceptions, which are limited and hence prone or vulnerable to errors (not that 'refusal' to learn, which leads to repeated errors!).
Very thoughtful question. The answer should have been comprehensive. But even an 'indicative' one should work to inspire/motivate someone to reach deeper.
Thanks for the question.