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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Theory of 'relativity' for commoners!

Really ‘related’ with relatively related relatives?

We have lots of these relatives through family relationships. “Close” relatives sometimes are not that ‘closely’ related. It is relative to situations, as to what ‘relates’ us really!

Oh! It is touchy or sensitive to resolve with relatives directly. Usually, it is the ‘take it for granted’ attitude, that dulls true bonds. Some sort of ‘right’ on the other’s ‘duties’ towards us is essentially what brings a sense of ‘suffocation’. We seek consolation by trying to reassure ourselves that we are ‘bound’ by social rules, customs, traditions, practices etc. Also, as an individual, we feel helpless to bring about any change. And, what kind of change could we think of? Already, ‘joint family’ concepts are a thing of past. Ironically, the word ‘joint-family’ got coined when the ‘recession’ had set into the ‘quality’ of relationships between relatives! Only a crisis would compel us to take a serious look at any issue! This time, it would be an emotional crisis that could perhaps persuade us strongly to take a serious and a deeper look. But once the emotional ‘balance’ is lost, sound judgment is the first victim! Handling emotions better, is an arduous task, given the present situation where there is no structure/institution in place to ‘train’ us. That leaves us with just one choice—an attempt to logically analyze the issue.

Logic helps us to understand that ‘subtle’ difference between ‘commitment’ and ‘accountability’. It is the clever blend of these two that compels us to be ‘duty-bound’ towards our relatives. When a commitment is compelled, using ‘social-accountability’ as a weapon, no rules can come to our rescue. Remaining ‘connected’ to relatives gives us a sense of social security. In ancient days our evolved ancestors resorted to ‘social’ boycott as a ‘refined’ way of punishment for crimes, instead of violent injury-causing, brute, crude punishments. Some where down the line, this got misused by ‘heads’ of clan, family, society etc and then the values got eroded. Today social boycott is not very effective since we are already used to dwelling in the same building, calling it ‘Apart’-ments, not bothering to even get introduced to the next door neighbor for years!

We do have a hazy picture of that subtle difference between commitment and accountability because many a times we are more comfortable in the company of our friends than our relatives. Friends ‘acknowledge’ our commitment more ‘manifestly’ than those ‘accountability’ demanding relatives who blame for not helping and fail to show any response even (leave alone any show of gratitude), because it is their ‘right’ as your ‘relative’. But the picture is still not that clear (non-interlaced-monitor is clearer, and like wise, non-interlaced understanding of commitment and accountability has to be clearer!)
There are that friends with just vested-interest, need based friendships, materialistic friendships etc. Also, there are those meek and humble relatives who do not protest against ‘accountability’ rights! It is therefore, that the debate about better help in times of need, whether from friends or from relatives, remains inconclusive and highly subjective.

We all are having that sense of commitment. But most of it remains latent for lack of adequate social recognition. It is here that emotions matter! For example, during the Nov-2008 Mumbai attack, even the staff of Taj hotel displayed tremendous sense of ‘commitment’ towards guests by risking their lives to save that of the guests! There was no accountability factor at all! Nor were they related as either friends or relatives. Even it did not matter if the guests were not fellow-countrymen! In a normal routine day, they (the very same staff) might perhaps deprive themselves of this tremendous joy, the inner experience, withholding the manifestation of commitment latent in them! They are victims of their own perception. It is the situation and society that victimizes us. Even students of ‘Law’ are required to ritualistically take an ‘oath’ to ‘commit’ themselves to justice! The preamble of every enactment is ample logical proof of limitations of law in fixing that ‘accountability’ through codification!

“Enough is enough” was the popular slogan during the post-analysis of Nov-2008 Mumbai attacks. It called for a deeper look at our sense of commitment beyond just complying with paying taxes, demanding ‘accountability’ from leaders, police, army etc. Our ‘commitment’ towards secularism seemed to need a serious ‘re-look’ when it has become a ‘right’ of some others, to be used indiscriminately, interpreting religion to even justify the taking of lives of innocent, defenseless civilians, women and even children!

Such extreme situation need not be the only reason for us to get our priorities re-aligned! It is quite sensible to avoid confusion about ‘commitment’, duty, response-ability, accountability etc. If and when this sense dawns, then, every body, more so those ‘accomplished’ individuals would invariably also end up as great social performers, offering their very capabilities to their very best, joyously with a deep sense of commitment, evolving and expanding their sphere of relationships from just relatives, to friends, society, country, mankind, and then every living being!

Our culture is very rich. There is a tradition to teach ‘values of commitment’ even at a tender age. Soon after that ‘thread-ceremony’ , a child is taught to accept food as an act out of ‘selfless-love’ by one’s own mother, implying that, it is her ‘commitment’ that provides the child his food and not his ‘right’ to be fed by a ‘duty-bound’ mother! Symbolically, the child utters “Bhavati Bhikshaam Deyhi” and then the mother offers rice grains. Today, the only significance that remains of this ritual is to ‘pose’ prominently enough before a camera or video-handy cam during the occasion!

So, obviously, there is no ‘accountability’ involved for the usual lack of response or feed-back !
Regards,
Psn(29 Dec, 2008)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Breakingpoint

Breaking-point

This is something that I had been longing to share about for a long time. But, even to talk about it, to me, seemed difficult! Somehow, recently, I happened to ‘blurt it out’ in a way that far exceeded my own guesses.
Yet, I have been very hesitant to write it down, this time for a totally different reason. I am reminded of many precious words fading out in many ways, just because it was written down, to be read at one’s ‘convenience’. My own experience reaffirms the ancient traditional practice of ‘through the word of mouth’ method of communicating one’s experiences, effectively and enriched with the much needed emotion contents! The urge to collect the thoughts and place them together, got the better of me, perhaps!

The word
I seek reference to this word ‘breaking-point’ by attributing a little non-conventional use of its sense and meaning. So I do not mean to refer to it as –
a) that point at which a convict, a suspect or a prisoner ‘confesses’ something under torture,
b) that point when someone feels being ‘driven to the wall’ and then succumbs or tries to retaliate despite one’s all the short-comings, weaknesses, etc (like in the case of a blackmail).
b) and so on …..

This is about something that happens to us out of our own mind-set which prevents us from pursuing that which is needed of us to be done. This ‘breaking-point’ is something that I am unable to precisely define or that it is a bit subtle. Nevertheless, I could use an example to give an idea or some ‘feel’ of it. We sometimes undergo a kind of mind-fatigue that we call as ‘boredom’. Once this boredom creeps in, it straightaway erodes many of our capabilities, tolerance & sustenance levels! Students preparing for an examination in a subject which fails to evoke their interest know too well! When we attend some long lectures, our alertness fails, and we try to fight that sleep inducement! Even in the case of children, the lullaby puts them to sleep very soon, at a wrong time, to suit the ‘busy’ mother, and while the mother innocently feels proud of her ‘melody’ capability, it could be the repetitive gibberish that induced the child to retract into a slumber!

A helpful link:
I happened to mention about how ‘priority’ evades, being steadfast in our life. I can weave an extension to it here. We find our New Year resolutions, de-addiction-resolves and the likes becoming short-lived. Goals remain just the ‘goals’ because it lacks the dynamism of ‘priority’. The ‘priority’ itself slides down right under our nose! So if a person feels interested to look at ‘breaking-point’ the way I seek to express, a reference to what I wrote about ‘Priority’ could help.
http://selfseekers.blogspot.com/2008/12/priority.html

The ‘breaking-point’
I do have to concede here that I can only attempt to describe it. And that too, using illustrative situations, which again are merely indicative.

Brief illustrations:

1. There are some songs, we like to hear again and again, any time. There are ‘ever-green’ movies, stories, etc. But can we read, listen or view these repetitively and non-stop, on and on? If we try it, we find some kind of saturation point like being ‘over-fed’ after a few non-stop repetitions. We have to allow that mind’s appetite for it to form by itself again, if we are to be able to really enjoy it, though we know that we love it!
2. Students attempting to revise lessons on the eve of their exams find it even surprising that such exercise leaves them nearly ‘blank’ as at the beginning. Well, perhaps ‘re’-vision is really about something that we already had some ‘vision’ earlier! But some subjects simply refuse to cooperate with some students.
3. A rare occurrence though, we find some brilliant students become mentally ill as a result of intensely studying some subject. We are surprised or baffled by such instances and try to become a bit cautious ourselves.
4. A sudden & intense shock, pain & sorrow due to a very untimely death of a close person causes mental dis-orientation to some people. Lucky ones, as we find in movie stories, regain normalcy at a similarly shocking situation!
5. People pursuing excellence in arts like music, dance etc or in fields of sports like cricket, shooting, chess, caroms, etc, find some kind of stagnation in their attainment of higher levels of performance. Some kind of mental fatigue seems to obstruct their abilities to focus better!
6. and so on ….

Mind encounters some kind of fatigue while doing things a bit repetitively. In some situations the very first attempt makes us weary. We know of job-fatigues. If something compels us to tolerate this mind fatigue beyond our capacity, it leads to a ‘torture-point’. This distance towards torture-point grows in magnitude progressively.
The time allowed for reaching this torture point inversely affects the mental calm and its retrieval too. The repetition of such journeys affects the mental health proportionately. All this is individual dependent. Once this torture point is reached, most people retract (or retrace their steps) very quickly. Here an example might illustrate. There have been spiritual practitioners (in ancient days), who try to undertake some rigorous practices. To become better equipped for their travel beyond that torture point, they also practice some kinds of ‘self-torture’ like sleeping on nail-beds, sleeping with corpses, tasting excreta and such other acts, just to be able to ‘cross over’ the distance beyond that ‘torture-point’ till they touch that breaking-point! This example is merely an extreme case where certain spiritual practices require uncommon levels of tolerance. Since the present generation has taken a ‘fancy’ for “Yoga” and spirituality, we can also easily see a very large number of ‘drop-outs’ happening in a very short span of time!
For each person, and for each type of activity, this journey towards the torture point and beyond, up to breaking point, differs entirely. While there are no measuring tools, no tangible milestones or standard techniques to traverse successfully, the ‘awareness’ of such a phenomenon does help in handling the real-life situations, handling priorities, etc, more dexterously and thus ‘realizing’ most of our cherished goals.
There are many examples of persons who have been quite fortunate to crossover the breaking point.
Such people find ‘effortlessness’ in such activity of theirs.
Help from others, support from others does matter in our journey to cross over that breaking point. In a spiritual journey, such help is accorded the highest respect and begets or invokes the deepest of gratitude.
Emotional training is of very great significance and does matter a lot in our journey towards that breaking point.
It so happens that the experience of the nature of journey differs from person to person, and also for each type of activity. So, familiarity with a tougher journey (coupled with sustained awareness), makes the lighter ones easier. And obviously, the toughest one, the spiritual path, is also the most hazardous one. The rewards are proportionate. Fortunately, the occurrence of this hazard (in the case of spiritual path) is rare mostly because, very few venture even up to half way towards that torture point itself!
Divine grace helps us to simply glide across, right through over that point, after which life itself is effortless!

Psn(8-12-2008)

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Priority

This very word makes me wonder whether it is a sheer coincidence that its use in English language leaves its competitors (the translated equals in other languages), far behind!
As an example, ‘Top Priority’ has a matchless impact! We turn to another capability “communication” and its skills that necessarily complement priority.
Perhaps it is the complexity of communication, its skills, further compounded by diverse priorities, its shifting nature that decides many things about life.
Many things about life that matter, include attitude towards life, handling of situations, mutual relationships, etc.

Marital relationships and Priorities:
Mutual relationships are most vulnerable between spouses, when there is a mismatch of priorities! Communication skills could at best help sustaining relationships for a longer period, by ‘camouflage & concealment’ techniques, in trying to reveal this mismatch. But again, at the cost of nurturing a distrust!
Whether it is about spouse or spice, we are more tolerant than the western world!
Giving a patient hearing, with some emotional empathy has not been a ‘priority’ in the materialistic western world. So, psychiatrists thrive, doing this, for a handsome fee, for the patients. So, it is just that if we are unable to accept that ‘patience pays’, we end up as patients who pays!
When marital relationships become strained, we try to find out ‘who is wrong’. The answer seems to evade us. Then we try to find out ‘what went wrong’. Still, a solution seems to elude us! Now it is time to shift from wrong way of searching for a ‘wrong’ or right. It is not about comparison or gradation. It is about clarity. It is about priorities that could be just unique or diverse. Perhaps a solution is now well within reach.

The ‘Priority-factor’:
It is the ‘priority-factor’ that decides and also connects the sequence of our goals, short term & long term goals, culminating into success of our ultimate goals.

Some situations:

A leading, popular and very successful mobile company perhaps understands the complexity of communications only too well, and so markets too many models, and claims that it is ‘connecting people’ and prefers to call its retails outlets as “Priority” !

Shifting priority—A journey is important, when we compromise to enter the jam-packed unreserved compartment of a train. Later, we ‘think’ of good place to stand in the crowd, then if we can squeeze into a seat, then even about sleep! Now if the sleep needs to be ‘sound’ we look around for an innocent looking ignorant idiot, persuade him to take care of our luggage, and even ask him to remember about waking us up for meals-station or our destination!

Children, are not really good at ‘handling’ even their few priorities. We find them too impatient, testing our patience in turn! On the other hand, when a person handles multiple priorities well, and simultaneously, we call him a ‘mature’ person.

When a person meekly surrenders his/her priorities, he/she becomes a ‘good’ husband/wife.
A good teacher, a good parent to a child is also sometimes surrendering of priorities though such priority would have been in the best interests of that child’s future!
“Good” is bait offered for hunters of scapegoats who are willing to surrender their priorities. Thus, self respect, dignity, human rights, civil rights etc vanish from the list of priorities when a common man deals with police, courts, politicians, municipal corporations, tax authorities etc.

Between spouses, we are often surprised that individually ‘ideal’ couples end up as mutually-incompatible mismatches! The problem aggravates to a chronic & acute levels when ‘temporary’ priorities produce ‘lasting’ results called children (again a resultant and longer lasting ‘priority’!), and then, even the mismatch of basic priorities deter a separation or even a divorce. Also the diverse culture of our country does not easily support divorce! The ‘compromise’ now demands a heavy price!

Prioritize priority:
A deeper understanding of our goals, evolving a structure of priorities, makes life a bit easier. Ability to also understand the priorities of others and of the situations, and flexibility to adjust & re-align our own priorities makes our lives more happy. When a person places the priorities of others well above one’s own, and thus shifts slowly towards a state of ‘choice-less-ness’, coupled with a deeper perception level & sharp levels of alertness & awareness, joyousness pervades into one’s life!

Success in life, in a way, is about the success of the priorities, by the priorities, for the priorities!

A response, either way, if evoked by this, may be indicative of ‘priority’ becoming a priority!

Psn(3-12-2008)

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Short-cuts!

Most of us are tempted to look out for “short-cuts” unless we really enjoy doing something. The age old saying “there is no short-cut to success” does not really seem to deter our pursuit for short-cuts.
Many a times, there is just a wafer-thin line that really separates a ‘short-cut’ from a ‘better way’ of doing things. For instance ambidexterity, multi-tasking etc are too subjective and situation based, to decide the merits of such short-cuts. We are at times confused when a child genuinely asks whether a calculator can do away with the need to learn multiplication tables, a spell-check in ‘word’ processor obviates the need to memorise the illogical spellings etc.
The next level of confusion arises when medical experts attribute most of health problems to change in life styles! What they are hinting at, is literally the short-cuts we adopted when we use machines to replace manual washing, walking, cleaning, gardening, grinding, blending, churning(curds in kitchen), and such other routine chores!
Personally, the next level of short-cuts did not confuse me! When I looked at it, my hitherto bemused look turned into an amazed one! For most people this level continues to be a non-issue. It simply involved discontinuance of certain traditions, customs etc. The reason for this effortless ease in ending these practices is the very fragility of our ‘way of life’! This ‘way of life’ was assigned a name called “Hinduism” when invaders chose to refer to the ancient Indian civilization. A religion name was a mandatory ‘check’ box even in those days! The entire fabric of this Hindu culture was ‘suggestive’ rather than a prescription or dictum etc (like other religions). Right from the choice of God(out of some 33 crores), the food, clothing etc were a matter of choice. Six types of marriages were prominent out of a larger list! How a person chooses out of these was entirely based on level of perception and awareness!
When a consecutive set of generations evolved steadily, these choices got resolved into best ones and obviously like any conscious choice towards a refinement, these too entailed a set of elaborate restrictions(self-imposed) on life-styles! The traditional 9-yards sarees, the 11-course dishes during anniversaries, the 13 day’s obsequies, the elaborate marriage rituals& restrictions ranging from rigid horoscope-matching, sub-sect selections, ‘girl-seeing’ , upto the auspicious date and time selection for the nuptials, all these are really mystic-looking, and seem to go in an opposite direction from short-cuts!
Well, the present day situation has ended up in driving our mutual relation-ships into ‘economy-driven’ bonds rather than emotional bonds! The emotional well-being is not entirely dependent on economic well being. That is why the westerners are baffled at the emotional stability levels of Indians!
But we are fast catching up with every available short-cut. Faking, duplicating, replacing, etc are evolving at an appreciable speed. Corruption is the outcome of illogical shortcuts. Cultural degeneration is the outcome of reckless substitution of short cuts to emotional-value-based-traditions!
When we indulge in pirating data, software, effort of creativity of others, the economic value of such pirated object gets devalued in many ways, ultimately resulting into, an emotional breakdown.!. Home for aged is a short-cut to taking care of elders at our homes. Results need no elaboration!.
Delegating motherly care to baby sitting, bottle –feeding etc., results in magical disappearance of bonds with children!.
‘Out-sourcing ‘of emotional support to periodic consultation/counseling by psychiatrist seems to be the latest of short-cuts! We seem to have lost the ‘in-house’ software for emotional shock absorbers within a home, when we had dumped those mystic traditions!
And then,
An epilogue,( perhaps! )
We were once, an emotionally-driven beings, and thus had evolved into demonstrating the highest human capability, deepening of our perceptions beyond sensory levels. We are now economy-driven beings, fast adopting all sorts of shortcuts, casting away ‘ senseless’, ‘illogical emotional values’. The race is towards “short-cut-driven” life! Obviously, suicidal death is the greatest of all short-cuts! It solves all ‘known’ problems!
PSN(08-10-2008)

How do we emote!

Most of us, being caught up in the situation around us, are driven by the same to decide as to how we emote! Some of us manage to keep the intensity of emotion under check. We know the devastating effect of anger, we know the size of the hole created in our wallet when we exhibit our anxiety to buy something from a cunning, greedy and alert bargain-seller!
There are a few persons, talented, well stabilized from within who manage to emote at will! An impressive example appeared on a recent TV interview when the legendary grand lady Zohra Sehgal was asked thus: “How do you manage to cry instantly & intensely when a scene requires?” She was known for doing it without the use of artificial means. The details mentioned by her simply amazed me! Briefly, she invoked two of the opposite emotions of laughter and tears from the very same incident that took place in her life!
That made me wonder if we too can do a little more than just ‘controlling’ anger, putting of the use of medicine at times, etc!. Hypothetical situation, quite imaginary, yet logical possibility may perhaps serve as an example to afford a deeper look within. Shall we attempt, with 3 ‘created’ situations, and attempt visualizing them quite intensely, not getting caught into it, retaining the freedom to observe how we would really respond and what happens within us, to our intuitive instincts.
The three situations:
1. A woman with very modest means has eight children of her own, all of them of school going age. During an evening, while she was very busy with household routine, and children engaged with their own activities of pastimes, a neighbour rushes in to inform the sudden death of one of the eight children. The mother is gripped by shock and intense sorrow. She rushes out of her house, and in utter disbelief, looks at the body of her child being lifted out of a nearby well with which the child had drowned, tripping over its inadequately low protective wall, while playing around it. Yet to recover from the first shock of this devastating grief, news comes in within a couple of minutes, informing the death of her yet another child, who had an unexpected heart seizure or so while engaged in a high pitched vocal practice sessions near by !
The child with ‘heart’ problem did have some minor occasional ‘chest pain’ complaints, but it had never seemed to require any serious medical examination. The timing of this serious occurrence was an unexpected blow to the mother. When both the bodies were placed in front of her house, there comes a third body, this time, the body and its appearance explicitly reveals the manner of accidental death to a yet another from among her eight children!. The badly mangled body tells it all !.
How would this woman be able to emote distinctly for each of these three deaths occurred in near succession? Is it not too difficult to embraces all the three at a time!. Each child’s loss creates a deep sorrow enough to intensely suffer for days! How to stagger any two to do justice to one, at a time?
This examples is not about over exaggeration. Our minds are sort of structured to pre-empt almost any routine situation, and an intense situation is perhaps needed to catch it ‘ off-guard’ to afford a genuine observation.

2. Let us try a reversal of emotion this time. Some time or other, we have come across a joke or situation that sets us into unstoppable bouts of laughter. We keeps laughing incessantly causing aches in lower abdomen!
Let us visualize that somebody narrates a brief joke that evokes such intense laughter that we are unable to even avoid the embarrassment for about another 30 minutes, when we do not seem to have any control over it, to appropriately suit the changing outside situation. As we grow into adulthood, such good jokes through intense enough may fail to evoke such uncontrollable laughter! If that is the case, please also visualize ourselves as children, at school, during classes. The joke encountered in the earlier day keeps stimulating sudden bouts of loud laughter in subsequent classes in serene situation. This laughter simply overpowers even the fear of punishment by class teacher for inappropriate class-room behavior! At offices, or counters facing public in queues, such out-of-turn laughter is really an embarrassment!.
Now comes the catch!. Suppose another joke of yet deeper intensity occurs within a minute of the first one!. To which of the jokes do we actually continue to respond with such unstoppable laugher??!!!

3.( A brief epilogue: )
Lest we run into a possible lesser focused attention, the epilogue suits here better, to get the attention it perhaps deserves. The sequence of examples are deliberate. A person who gets caught in the situation of first examples usually skips over the second, but the third one ‘grounds’ the person back. If on the other hand, a person manages in not getting ‘caught’ in the first one, does appreciate the second one adequately enough to now attempt a de-mystification of the third one which is bereft of any external influence.
Third situation :
Yes the third one is very simple, practical, irrefutable and yet has a cloud of mysticism, that some of us do know of and most of us take it for granted as “ oh! It is so “. It deals with sheer physical pain.
We know how naggingly persistent that below the nail puss and swelling is! The half broken-crooked growing nail, with a crevice, infected with puss forming affliction never seems to leave us at peace even for a moment. Whatever else we are required to do, the pain is felt incessantly, reminding us that it is there. People who float and drift away into their day- dreaming –sessions find this nail affliction to be a rare even when they manage to find themselves riveted to ground –realities throughout the duration!
Now the catch. Supppose there is such a pain on the left thumb at present, and our right thumb is brutally chopped off in a single severe blow! We know, the pain caused due to sudden and shocking loss of thumb when chopped off, simply dissolves the hitherto irritating pain at the nail of left thumb! The earlier pain, in our experience, DOES VANISH. Yet, we know, logically, the source of pain is yet intact, unresolved. Later on, we are surprised (we do not have a chance during the painful session),What happens to the earlier pain when the next one overpowered us?
Well then, if this helps us to take a look at our emotions, instead of merely getting caught up with it each time and getting lost in our struggle to wriggle out of it, please do let me know, to reassure that our effort was worth it. At the least I shall be able to refrain being a 4th situation! Ha Ha Ha! An inadequate response, not even the lack of it, is good enough to educate me to refrain from ending up into a loathsome 4th situation for you!
You see, I do solicit many things, but trouble is not one of them!
Regards
PSN ( 6th Oct’08)

How well do we critically evaluate criticism?

For a change, I would rather indulge in just putting together at a place, the various aspects of ‘criticism’, its common reactions and a few uncommon responses! My love and fascination towards mysticism at once tempts me, to subtly shroud the suggestive hints, wherever it is felt appropriate, just as a professional encryptor indulges in camouflaging a message to a friend, in an amusing jargon! A natural question that could arise is, whether I am being sincere in doing so? Yes, very much, & “without wax”! True to the very origin of the word ‘sincere’! It is said that when sculptors in Spain, during the ancient Renaissance period, happened to produce a flawless, expensive marble statue, which did not require a patchwork with wax for their flaws, called it (nay, hailed it) as a sculpture “sin cera” or a sculpture without wax. Eventually anything true came to be referred to, thus. The English word ‘sincere’ evolved thus. Quality criticism too evolved alongside!
Why do people criticize? A look at a very brief, indicative list--
1. For the sake of saying something, knowing no other way of making their presence felt,
2. To get the other person provoked into a reaction at least, when arousal of a response fails,
3. To contribute a sense of participation if a person fails to notice anything worth appreciating,
4. To reassure the others of a genuine, sincere, honest, true concern and loyalty towards them(!)
5. A pre-emptive strike, relying on the adage, “ Offence is the best form of defense”,
6. To correct, educate, & help a loved person,
And, so on ……
How do people choose to criticize—
1. Diplomatically, when possible reactions are felt to be economically unviable!
2. Subtly, when relationships are too precious and vulnerable, despite compulsions of situations.
3. Loudly and in public, when the recipient can be at a great disadvantage to retort even!
4. In a staggered manner to avoid being out-done with a corrective action(when there is a race)!
And so on……
How well we respond or react to criticism, largely depends upon various factors and situations. A look at a few situations—
1. If it the boss who criticizes only two golden rules:--
a) The boss is always right,
b) In case of a doubt, refer to “a)” above!
(The term ‘Boss’ may include parents—in case of children, teacher in case of students ,and wife in case of ‘dependent’ husbands)
2. When we are capable of in-depth knowledge about the value of the critic, as well as the contents of criticism, the evaluation and response happens at its best—a rare situation.
3. We stand to gain a lot when ego satisfaction strips the other person of all his sense of well being, wealth & disposition in our favour, when we merely feign a deep humility at criticism received! (Not an ethical proposition, though indulged very commonly !)
4. Induced criticism, as a technique to ‘create’ a need or market for something that is meant to benefit the recipient.
5. When we choose to care for the well being of others, response to any and every type of criticism turns out as yet another opportunity to translate our unbounded love into action! A bit rare occurrence.
6. Criticism also becomes a means of evolving better into our emotional capabilities when response is looked at as a conscious effort each time with a sense of gratitude. Response may not necessitate any action, but a mere subtle gesture, a hint in deep acknowledgement of the other’s message that they care, and therefore criticize!
7. Health of a ‘healthy criticism’ deteriorates along with the weakening of relationships!
Epilogue:
Criticism is vulnerable to emotions a lot more than a casual, routine, analytical feedback. The complexity of emotions, by its very nature traps a person into a unique world of one’s own creation. Therefore, it is very difficult to generalize any aspect of criticism or response thereof in a manner to afford universal dependence for infallibility! No better evidence substantiates this fact, than the prevalent practice of ‘case-laws’ being quoted more often than the enactments, altogether over-shadowing the sacrosanct preamble thereto, when legalized forms of criticisms are dealt with in courts of law!
Repondez s’il vous plait.
Psn (6-10-2008)

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Hari Pattar's school of Emotions!

Hari Pattar's school of emotions?
Why not ? like that Harry Potter’s school of Magic!


Prologue
The station master minds the train,
The school teacher trains the mind !

How well does the teacher do it today? Logical skills, yes. Intuitional skills??

(End of prologue)

Of late, I find the inclination to ‘e-mail’ waning rapidly, within me.
It saves lots of trouble for my recipients.

Yet, something very strongly persuades from deep within me to convey an observation. There seems to be no known system, structure in place (like those educational institutions) to formally train the younger generation in intuitional aspect of the mind !
All known edu-institutions do excellently in logic. Even psychiatry logically tones down imbalanced persons to manageable levels! It is intuition that takes care of imagination, creative skills and emotions.
HR people who are grappled with attrition related problems,
Politicians, who are transfixed with brain-drain (or lack of ‘brains’) related probs,
Religious heads, struggling with revival of traditions,
Social & cultural activists, guards, complaining about loss of heritage values,
Etc,
Would know better, and perhaps appreciate this observation.

I prefer not to delve into elaboration of how & what kind of system or structure existed in place, even until a couple of centuries ago, especially in India that is ‘Bharat’!

(And now, the epilogue)
If there is any inclination to look into the veracity of my observation, the ‘logical’ explanation might/could ‘flash’ in the minds, and would also perhaps give a clue to the various questions related to ‘where are we going’, ‘what is happening to our people’, etc, the erosion in ‘human values’ that is very similar to the depletion of ecology, environmental purity, etc!

Regards,
Psn (3rd Sept, 2008)
The ‘special’ 4th phase of moon, which ‘minds the mind’!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Are you busy?

Are you busy?

This question is being constantly asked to us! A very gentle attempt to get our attention, to be able to ‘communicate’ (meaningfully, of course!) to us.
Just that we happen to listen to it not quite often!
Take a look at the situations when this question is put to us (and usual responses).
When,
1. In a normal day-to-day situation asked by…..
The boss -- No Sir/Madam, please tell me what I can do for you?
A VIP asks us -- Oh! Sir, you embarrass me… it is always an honour to be of any help...
Beauty queen/ Prince Charming -- Never too busy for you!
Nagging spouse – (No reply warranted until the question repeats atleast thrice / aloud!)
Friend -- Depends! (on what?... Well, mutual benefit scheme’s conditionalities!)
Customer -- No sir/madam, please tell me… (wait, the next word you utter will decide!)
Etc….

2. The same question in a bit subtle way….
A gentle breeze --
(a)Oh! Thanks, no fan or AC can ever match this! (when sweating profusely!).
(b) …… (when otherwise busy)
Menacingly approaching vehicle threatening head long collision –
(a) Brake, Horn, Yell, etc (Get the hell out of its way, and fast!)
(b) ……… (if turning to talk to the pillion rider, staring at a provoking poster)
Etc…

3. The same question (this time in the subtlest way, and now, is why it is “constantly”)

Nature (manifest) --
(a) Great! I shall return again to you very soon! (When on a brief holiday!)
(b) Oh! Dull, boring… (Etc) … (when unemployed, but survival take care of)
Life (personified)
(a) …… (busy stuck in body, mind , situation etc!!!)
(b) Death ( personified) … Please, not yet, allow me little more time, lots of unfinished…!


Well,…. It is not about whether we bother to respond to this question each and every time, or not. Situations keep changing, so also our attitude, capability & priorities, and so accordingly our responses.

It is about our levels of preparedness to meet, experience and enjoy life as it happens around us, till we ‘Rest In Peace’! It calls for that razor-sharp and ever enhancing levels of alertness, coupled with deepest possible states of relaxation, simultaneously maintained, that decides the quality of our life. Performance, achievement, etc happen exponentially upgrading, but we would soon discover, that they just happen to be side-benefits, a sheer consequence, as inevitable as the negative consequence of ‘absenting’ from that preparedness! The essence of this discovery, the experience of this discovery, when put into words, perhaps might look like this: “Oh! Most of the time, I had been just re-acting to situations that happen to me! It is now that I happen to be really living, acting according to the situation, whichever way ‘Life’ happens to me! Even inaction, silence, stillness is very dynamic in experience!”

Psn ( 13-07-2008)

Broadcasting LEGEND

Broadcasting Legend.

I felt fortunate to have had a glimpse of that Broadcasting legend, Mr. Ameen Sayani, during the brief interview in the program ‘Being a Legend’ telecast by CNN-IBN on Saturday 1.30 pm (19-7-2008) and repeated next day at 1.30 pm.

He had a captivating voice, and literally ruled the hearts of all Hindi knowing, and some of Hindi listening audience from 1952 for about 45 years.

When I was listening to his experience, and comments it just occurred to me that he had all the ingredients to become a legend. In fact, becoming a legend was an inevitable consequence.

Body, mind and breath are closely interwoven, though loose within each other. It is exactly this aspect which was deeply looked at by our ancient masters, when they perfected the technique to reach deeper levels of consciousness!

Our legend, Mr.Ameen Sayani, happened to become more and more breath conscious, given the nature of his profession (or else that noise of inhalation /exhalation would get ‘aired’ during a broadcast). Attempting a fair control over this breath must have contributed towards acquiring a steady pattern! By itself, this would mean not much since most ‘mike’ users do this. His attitude right from start was very positive, and that was a major contributor as a catalyst, to the exponential growth/evolvement in his ‘being’! This was amply visible when he said that he never imposed himself on the other person during interview recording of celebrities. He also mentioned about participation in the emotional psyche of the other person to help the other person to get motivated, and also took care to come out when appropriate! Most of the ancient Masters held their disciples in this way. This bond is symbolized by numeral 8 wherein both the circles are in contact, maintaining the independence. Where as when both are in same circle, there is a domination for vested interests. He attributed his ‘recognition’ amongst radio listeners due to this non-interrupting attitude during interviews. Perhaps he set into motion, the concept of “Radio listeners club’, and it took of phenomenally. He also had to get rid of that Gujarathi accent which came with his childhood days, and he was aware, it took some seven years to acquire the required Indian National Language accent! In a subtle manner, he underwent the ‘experience’ of how deeply embedded characteristics could be consciously loosened up! Most spiritual seekers find this as a major stumble-block!

I had read somewhere that ancient Rishis, conducted a broadcasting of different kind! This may be quite difficult to agree, understand or accept, but the rishis never bothered about the aspect of ‘recognition’. In fact, they preferred remaining incognito. It seems the time of broadcast was Brahma Muhurtham, at their station of broadcast (some remote inaccessible cave, where interference of most types, is obviously least!). A logical inference, though very weak, can be drawn from various instances, to mention a few,
a) Most patients in hospital, undergoing acute pain, get some respite during early hours.
b) Early risers, find this period very useful to focus on any problematic issue.
c) Music teachers (traditional), suggest this time to reasonably amenable students.
d) Professional truck drivers, find it safe to park for a while during early hours, since ‘deep relaxation’ over powers them, when they try to strain and concentrate during all-night non-stop driving.
e) Some surgeries are undertaken during early hours in reputed hospitals.
And so on…

Our legend Mr.Ameen Sayani did enjoy some of the facilities of seclusion, non-interference of noises, etc inside that broadcasting room confinement, for a sufficient period of time. May be, it added to his advantage while undergoing a crude form of meditation/sadhana/tapas, like cave-confinement, single minded, well focused practice of ‘reaching’ out to people far way, through well modulated, well appealing, soft, clear, loving voice !

It is no wonder that he was able to put forth the essence of his experience in developing a yet another unique approach towards good communication skills! He mentioned five “sa” prefixed Hindi words, as a thumb rule to develop into being a good broadcaster.
Sanchar, is a form of communication he explained. So, he suggested five “sa’s”.
Sahi (correct)
Satya (true)
Spasht (clear, unambiguous)
Saral (simple, easy to understand)
Sundar (appealing, attractive).

He tried out migration to TV, but found that he felt more comfortable with something he was doing for years. Well, he was no novice at ‘contentment’! He gladly accepted a tin of ovaltine in lieu of ‘remuneration’ during early days of broadcasting for ‘commercials’!

I felt there was much to learn and imbibe from his rich experience!
I wish many more years of valuable & priceless contribution from this Living Legend Mr.Ameen Sayani to our ‘listeners’!
Psn (20-07-2008)

Mandatory to appreciate?

Appreciate or else, miss the glory!


Some time ago, we enjoyed looking at ‘Contribution and achievement’…
The other side of the coin seems to be appreciation/recognition.
Infact, it is perhaps the lack of adequate recognition that sparked this topic or debate of Contribution/and, or, versus/Achievement.
When this recognition/evaluation/appreciation falls short, even qualitatively, the result could be quite fatal!
Attrition ridden corporates are standing (or falling!) examples!
Everybody has to learn to appreciate things around, if the quality of life does matter!
Like we say, “charity begins at home”…..
We learn to appreciate, starting with the women folk at home.
It is thus that in Indian culture, women are placed at a high Pedestal from times immemorial!
Then look at extreme levels… the next seat passenger, the stupid looking bystander on the street is an ‘enlightened’ being, and we fail to ‘recognise’ !!!
Hanuman frantically tried to ‘hint’ to Tulasidas, when Rama appeared in a disguise, to give darshan! ( This story is to be looked at indicatively, and let us not get diverted into controversial logic of why at all disguise etc…. There is enough credible logic even for that, but that is a different field of discussion).
Well, I thought we would find it interesting to look at the question that I attempted to answer on Yahoo Answers forum.
I hesitated to add one more, though a bit subtle, reason, as to why artists could go mad/insane….. There are instances of sporadic outburst, when an artist happens to see a serious flaw in his/her own work, which others around failed to notice for quite a long time! ( Let us not forget, psychiatry and counselling is a very recent science, and the only one that frequently undergoes drastic modifications at even its base levels!)
For a change, and for obvious reasons, I close without the customary incantation referring to response!
Psn

Quote:



http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnD3WKKzcwLtF7huoS_LJ_uRHQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20080703211001AApvfm4&show=7#profile-info-YHfJFXxMaa
Why so many talented artists go insane ?
Maybe someone of you have read some theory answering my question or wants to express personal opinion?

I was interested in the most talented people's biographies and so many of them had various mental problems ...


My answer:
• Mostly because of "mismatch " of levels of evolvements of people around them. It is the consequence of this mis-match that results in inadequate "quality appreciation" of the art. This lack of appreciation drives the artists mad! They find it hard to 'digest' that people find it so hard to 'see' what they display through their art skills so painstakingly.
In some cases, they even end their lives out of frustration.
Few, very close people, happen to suggest to them in vain, that they are a bit 'before' their time! And as if to prove this , it so happens that many of works of art gets world-wide recognition only long after the artitst 'passes' away!
In India, there were indeed a few artists who did not depend on 'outside' appreciation! They felt rewarded by the very process of performance! Such people were the few lucky who were simultaneously evolved at spirituality! Such is the richness of our spiritual heritage! Very few cultures of the world offer such "built-in" insurance ! Even today, no insurance company offers stress-insulation of this kind!
If we read the book "agony and ecstacy" (Micheal Angelo), we find that he spends a week (the time alloted for a sketch painting for sculpture), with a lady. When the lady anxiously asks him how he is going to 'achieve' the deadline target with only one day left, he takes a paper, flashes a few lines, and to the amazement of this lady, the king (or so), approves the painting, QUITE CONVINCED that the artist "did really have to spend the entire week for that sketch"!
As a contrast, a co-student of this Micheal angelo happened to mock at him for spending over two days on a single broken/loosely hanging tooth of a statue. It was then that the teacher/guide who corrected this mockery, by adequately admiring the life-like finish of that hanging tooth!
....
It takes a very deep level of perception to admire any skill adequately. In case of "fine" arts, the perception skills are more 'demanding'. Obviously, it rarely happens to evoke the right kind of appreciation!

Touchy touch

Touchy touch!

Touchy = oversensitive; irascible
Irascible = susceptible of ire or anger.

“Touch-me-not” is the name of a weed, which is also very slowly facing extinction.
Children enjoy touching it, since its leaves instantly fade and close down for a while!

This ‘touch’, has been looked at by people since ancient times.

It is interesting to take a look at some of the situations involving touch.

Some people are very sensitive to touch. Tickle them under armpit and they jump with a forced laughter.
Children play that ‘touch’ and ‘you are out’. In that ‘Kabbadi’, touch and cross over the line back, the touched player is out.

The list is endless, and suffice it to close here with the latest,
“Touch Screen”


The ancient touch theory is what has turned very very ‘touchy’ of late!
The reason seems quite simple.
They have suggested a lot many of conscious ‘touches’ and they all seem to ‘elude’ our meaningful perception!
These touches have faded out. Not just the touches, the very ‘files attached’ got obliterated!

Like to take a look at few of them?

During that daily ritual after a thread ceremony, the touches with specified fingers are notoriously complex!
When somebody is famished, it is hardly the time to touch singular grains with cumbersome combination of fingers, mutter something (mercifully nobody notices), and swallow it!
The spouse is to touch the husband’s shoulder blade with a grass blade, (they are very fussy about the correct ends, as if they are verily negative or positive live wires with a DC current!).
The sacred thread for the holy knot during wedding is to be ‘touched’ by elders all around, just before the ‘big moment’!
The offering to deity is touched by devotees, before it is offered.

And so on….
How long do we continue with these meaningless touches?
Well slowly it has to fade out.
Meaningless, outdated, irrelevant provisions of any enactment is struck off!
Here, the problem is, there is no majority vote stipulated, needed to ‘deal’ with it.
Whether fortunately or unfortunately, Hinduism is indeed a way of life, and not a religion, to be rigorously enforced upon any body!

Then the obviously logical, but a bit subtle rule that we try to follow, before we try to do away with such touchy touches (and why just touches, even untouchable provisions like 3-day ordeals too) seems to read as :

Any way, these practices are fading out quite fast. Choices have already been made. The purposes of ‘taking a re-look’ seem to go no farther than ensuring that we do not confront any social exclusion, due to any inadvertent, unforeseen reasons like a cluster-cloud effect or so!

Tail piece: (perhaps that is why the thread renewal programme is the isolated ritual that continues to attract maximum numbers for that ‘muster-roll-signing’!

What ever the bulk majority of people do, the essence of spiritual traditions are not and have never been at the mercy of ‘present generation’ at any point of ‘time’!
Somewhere somebody gets helplessly pushed into spirituality, and the whole of the text lays bare before such person in the eternal ‘web’ to just read it, eyes closed!

( For instance, somebody closely known to me is already on the job. He has dug out some touch system, where touching the tips of fingers of same palm for sometime, has given that person immense benefits for acute & chronic ailments! He told me it is some ‘Mudra-vigyan’ or so! And he knows it will not stop at the superficial layer of stupid cures! It would take him literally “places” (!) , reminding him perhaps of that “nadi” quack who can feel the life energy and not just the pulse with a mere touch!)

Now, you agree, I had to lay bare, the ‘touchy’ aspect of it all, “once and for all”!

Psn(16-7-2008)

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Chained?

A beautiful question:

quote:





*Do you see the chains of your attachment?*



Oh! Very few of them!

In fact some of them only when the gold coating wears off, and pains.

Yet some other, pure gold, are being held steadfastly, and we 'refuse' to
acknowledge them as chains at all, depriving us of that 'freedom'!

A deep bow, and many thanks for this question! "Seeing" the chains 'seems'
to be the major problem, or rather even 'recognition' that there is a
problem at all! (This beautiful language of English has provided many words
, very nearly similar in meaning, to get our attention.... See,
behold,look, perceive, observe...... and yet, it is the level of
perceptions, that matters, differentiates amongst us, and decides as to who
evolves !)

Vulnerability

Human beings, as also other living beings are 'pre-embedded' with that
survival instinct, and therefore the impusive acts of 'self-preservation'.
We tend to over-use it, becoming 'defensive' at every encounter with somebody
we do not like to accept 'totally'.
And then, it becomes our 'default' behaviour,
invoking a vulnerability of a different kind!
See, when we describe our dear and very close friends, we say,
" I can be totally myself with him (no formalities, pretenses, or defences required)"!
What happens when we consciously drop that defence and offer our vulnerability?
When I looked back, this is what occured to me:
quote:


Despite having been required to pay a 'handsome' price, of nothing less than a premature and abrupt voluntary retirement, I would, still, and more vociferously, advocate for playing intensely the role of 'vulnerability' , even at the place of work, or in the least, at home, amidst all types of 'Brutus's', to taste that priceless joy!
A Chakora pakshi (an unique bird) compromises for nothing less, stops at nothing less!


Please do tell me your way of looking at this?
regards,
psn

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Awarness

Awareness
Very casually, I attempted a question, and was chosen for the appealing answer.
But my heart goes out for one of the answers which should have been considered by a very very logical brain.
The profile of that answerer appealed to me and also ‘caught’ my attention!

I “wished”,……… if only that person comes across a good guide, a worthy spiritual master to now effortlessly step on to the threshold of a deeper level of perception(beyond sensory levels perhaps), having acquired a very firm & enviable grip on objectivist epistemology (may be also thro’ Ayn Rand’s philosophy on objectivism)…….. {take a look at this link…
http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmZ2O.0KVdxGPVW9z4RGO4yQHQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20080310124258AAminR8&show=7#profile-info-c26ccbe94ac827717297b6e8f042510aaa
Very interesting answer by this person!)
psn

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjY5KaWxmHZiua8aw9Tnq5KRHQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20080309095703AAek5mO&show=7#profile-info-OOlatNnIaa

Question : Anybody achieved awareness ,tell me how?
(Answer) Chosen by Asker
Even you have that "self-awareness" to be able to use the words "tell ME how" !Well, when this awareness becomes deeper and sharper, things happen!

Asker's Rating:
Asker's Comment:
at least someone thought something before awnsering



http://in.answers.yahoo.com/my/profile;_ylt=ArHb9TWEdeGZ0tzCzihHKlZeHwx.;_ylv=3?show=yUudoO1Raa

Another answer:
You first achieved "awareness" when the doctor held you upside down and spanked your bottom. Your faculty of subconscious epistemology screamed, "WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS PLACE?"
{Psn’s note: Yeah!! And maybe because it is so, that our ancients have appropriately thought of calling a person who undergoes that thread ceremony occasion(the most precious traditional Indian spiritual Initiation, still in vogue, though as a mere ritual!) by a name “Dwija” (meaning “twice born”!)…..}
http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmZ2O.0KVdxGPVW9z4RGO4yQHQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20080310124258AAminR8&show=7#profile-info-c26ccbe94ac827717297b6e8f042510aaa
Is there any objective perception?
No. Perceptions are the memory of sensations. We do not feel the actual sensation, the impulses of electricity and chemicals that flow from our fingers to brains, we feel what those impulses and flows do to us. The same is true with our eyes: we do not sense the wavelengths, we sense what the wavelengths have done to our occular organs. We do not remember what the wavelengths of light felt like; we remember the image carried on the wavelengths.In order to have a perception of material outside of our minds, our sensory organs must have had an objective moment of sensory perception. That is the objective part of all empirical events between our organs and the material.It is the perception which that causes in our mind that is the subjective element.The immediate sensory experience is objective. The perception caused by the experience is subjective." A "perception" is a group of sensations automatically retained and integrated by the brain of a living organism, which gives it the ability to be aware, not of single stimuli, but of entities, of things."
9 hours ago
Source(s):
http://www.aynrandlexicon.com/lexicon/pe...