Being practically non-hypocritical!

Ek baat maro samajh naahi aavai..! (I don't understand one thing...  )

Why do we call being 'practical' as hypocrisy?

Achha...  achha!   We need to 'show', we know the meaning of hypocrisy too!

It almost sounded like that!

I got one “forward”
The person who sent it would call it as 'sent' by him, though it was even 'initially-initated' as a 'forward' to him too (Hypocracy?...  Never!  See, we talk of 'initiation here'!)...

But I was a little 'backward'!  I could not grasp the sanctity of a forward!

I responded, with a scent (oops!...  it was a 'sent'..  but a fish like me, smells even if cleaned in ganges 24 X 7, leaving me to swim in that holy-river!)...

I would not like to copy-paste what I 'sent'...  but it is socially acceptable with 'forwards' of any kind, when we are trying to be 'democratically-equal' with backwards too! (Any thing that 'sounds' democratic...  has to be within the 'over-all-framework' of constitution...  and I guess, when we grant a Bharat Ratna to Shri Ambedkar Ji, it is we, who get the licence to 'liberally-quote' constitution as-we-like!)...

Arey yeh sab 'practical' nahi tou aur kya hai?

A 'sapoot' of a friend lived like a fiend with that kid...
And that kid, tried to be non-hypocratical, when it came to 'registration' of marriage...  He insisted, it would be after the ceremony, ...  doesn't matter if the visa gets delayed (jyaada details ki bhi zaroorat nahi...   we 'practically' know...  !)...  A close relative tried to say, 'Be practical!'...  Nahi sunaa woh!
Arey!
Tata ke ghar Ambaani,
Birla ke ghar Beimaani... (oops!  Saari sorry...  rhyming ke mood mei isaa bol diya)..
thode hi paida hota hai?

Bewakoof baap, yeda beta (that was that fiend-friend and his bitwaa)...

Khair...
We have to move forward, towards that forward...  (being practical!)


Number ek:
quote:
“Hypocrisy defines us Indians the best.  It is over 24 hours since the killings that have taken 68 lives so far.... Out of which 33 are women n children... and there's not a single message on WhatsApp or fb condemning the heinous act.  Face book is full of people going berserk thanking all n sundry n telling everyone how great a year it has been so far for them.
I'm part of a number of groups. .. Some of them very intellectually gifted like this one and I'm sad to note that even in this group nothing so far. ..zilch!
Isn't assam part of India?  We all were very quick in condemning the killing of children in Pakistan. .. Because there was a lot of media glare on it.  Since the media is also not focusing on the assam killings we all are also not bothered by it.
Frankly I'm more concerned about what happens in India.  To hell with Pakistan... There. ..I have said it. ..I don't care what happens to Pakistani citizens. ... I'm more concerned about what happens to Indians.
People. .. Pl circulate this message and condemn the ethnic cleansing that is going on in assam.... spread awareness to stop it. .. Let's show our concern for Indians too!!!

unquote:

Quietly (chup-chaap), I would forward...  was the expectation!
But ,
there was a saying...
“Problem with telling a good wit is that it reminds the other fellow of a dull-one!”

I responded with an opening remark (of course a nasty one, I know!)
Number doe(2):
quote:
P S Narayanan: These, are ironies. ? Or hypocrisy - side - effect?
Quote:
"Indian Ironies:
1) We'd rather spend more on daughters wedding than on her education.
2) We live in a country where seeing a policeman makes us nervous rather than feeling safe
3) In IAS exam, a person writes a brilliant 1500 words essay about how Dowry is a social evil. Impresses everyone and cracks the exam.
One year later same person demands a dowry of 1 crore, because he is an IAS officer.
4) Indians are very shy and still are 121 Crore.
5) Indians are obsessed with screen guards on their smartphones even though most come with scratch proof Gorilla Glass but never bother wearing a helmet while riding their bikes.
6) Indian Society teaches
'Not to Get Raped',  rather  'Don't Rape' !
7) The worst movies earn the most- Happy New Year
8) A porn-star is accepted in society as a  celebrity, but a rape victim is not even accepted as a normal human  being.
9) Politicians Divide us, Terrorists Unite us
10) Everyone is in a hurry, but no one reaches on time
11) Priyanka Chopra earned more money playing Mary Kom, than Mary Kom earned in her entire career.
12) Its dangerous to talk to strangers, but it's perfectly ok to marry one
13) Most people who fight over Gita and Quran, have probably never read any of them
14)The shoes we wear are sold in air Conditioned showrooms, the vegetables we eat are sold on the footpath..
unquote:


We were hypocritical, since long ago, when we did not 'pass down' the chants for that 'divorce' ....

So, we had that starting-trouble!
Fortunately, courts have come to our rescue...  it is a two-way traffic here , now.   Not that male-dominated 'three-times-chants'  of some places!

By the way, a genuine, sincere, honest doubt for me, in me, and from me...  (nothing to do with my own dear hypocrisy...  I mean)..
Statistically, who excels the score...  seeking divorce..   Masculinety or famininety? (I know, it is risky to quote 'actual-gender'...   non-bailable offence...  and even Shri Ambedkar ji's constitution would help..  he was quite healthy when he was around!)..

Practically yours,
psn(27th December, 2014)


But,
not willing to 'entirely give up' my hypocricy (of not pasting what I replied etc.. on whatsapp)..
let me copy-paste, a part of what I said...

My hypocricy says, . 'call it ' as post-script:
quote:
“1.The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.
2. An act or instance of such falseness.
....
When I say "we" as nation, are hypocrisy-wala....  my private share in it "feels" a little cleansed!
But spirituality doesn't "actually" object such-hypocrazy.... Instead, it evades.... 
Finish all kinds of "mind-games", then come...!

Learning to say Thank You

Of late, the fashion seems to have faded out.. 'saying : “Thanking you in anticipation, yours faithfully”... and the advice was, to use these phrases, 'especially' to government officials, who turn down a request, quite whimsically, with no one around to question them! Power is in their hands (not just discretion, or the sanctioning authority... raw power!)... So, thank you is a 'caution-deposit' and non-refundable!

I would try to dramatise, and imagine, as to how this 'anticipation-wala-thankyou' would have taken birth?

Next door uncle: “Beta... yeh lo... chaak-late/chocolate... khaa jao... eato/eat”

Kid: stares blank, for a while, and even blinks!

Dad: “le lo uncle pyaar se de rahe hain..”

(Kid, wonders,... chocolate wrapper ke andar sirf chocolate hota hai.. yeh pyar kahaan include hai packing mei?)... but anyway, he blurts.. “Tan-kooo”..

Now there is no shortage of any 'interpretor'... Dad, “Thank you bol raha hai... bachha hai na!” (now, whatever it means, that.. 'bachha hai na'... if it were an adult, 'you had it'!!!)

Next day, the same 'next'door wala uncle...

The kid is looking at his palms... it is open! No chocolate! Jaane doe... But what about 'tan-koo'?, he wonders!... Aaj kal, advance payment ka procedure aa gaya hai kya?...

By chance, if that kid says, a 'tan-koo'... no chocolate... still a tan-koo... woh uncle ka baaja baj gaya.. KOoooo.. he doesn't know what to do with that 'bribe after retirement?'

We teach 'gratitude' + 'humility'... like we teach, 'Beta don't fall' when we find suddenly that this kid has climbed up a tall tree, and calls 'de-ko'/de-kho/whatever... We do not have the knees and bones to climb up and rescue... we are shy of calling 'fire-service' (they have that-kind-of-ladder, though there is no 'actually-fire' or a 'duplicate-fire'..!)... We shout: Beta, don't fall... do-not-fall! (shaayad, at that height,, he can't read that coma after the “don”, the don-'-t ...).. He does not know how to give-effect to the command, 'do not fall'! It feels almost like that empty-thank you! Bol tou diya hai... (kuch hua kya?.. abhi tou nahi.. abhi tou nahi.. wala song!)..

Instead, .. may be, something like “Hold tight”.. he, knows, 'exactly' what to do... he keeps-holding tight, not waving Ta-Ta... Birla etc.. As a consequence, that 'don't fall' is ato-matic/automatic... Later, he might even remember, and feel gratitude, “Hey bhagwaan, aap ne sirf ek baap hi nahi, usko thoda sa brain bhi diya hai!” (warna... bulk of upadesh, would be 'unable to carry out wala... Matru devo bhava... the pitaaji says, treat-mom-as-God?.. Arey! I feel like mata-ko-devour bhawa... she keeps shifting blame for even her own forgetfulness on me!.. Even the dad has not seen a God, and here he is giving upadesh, treat-mom-like-God?.. even the prashaad, has to be mom-manufactured, not me... gas lighter ko haat nahi lagaana, is the warning... aur mujhe paanv/leg se sulgaana aata hi nahi!)...

The kid grows... Somewhere, he learns... either of the two things.... This humility is a mere show-business, and unless, there is a useless/meaningless-Thank you.. it cannot sail through into that other-fellow's brain!.. Another possibility: A bit rare one.. He understands, that he-understands-the-hollowness of such a Tan-koo... and this 'understanding of such-understanding' was due to a human birth! He feels grateful to rab/uparwala/whatever! (By now, he is sure,, the dad and mom are just yet-another-assembly of machines that manufactured him, and not their skill, in his birth!)... Possibly, he evolves, and deepens his perception... He becomes aware of of 'beings' who even refuse to show any 'id-proof'.. and yet they support him, during his empty-cup-wala-state, during meditations, usually! Now a 'new kind of 'thank you' that doesnt seem to really suffice, a new sense of gratitude, that seems too tiny.. so the question of 'email-id' doesn't even arise... Maybe a few tears roll down!..

He tries to share.. Most likely that others mock, saying, 'You hallucinate'... He doesn't protest... He humbly says, 'Maybe you are right!.. I might have merely hallucinated...”... He checks within... He is not too-sure.. But, it works! If fortunate, it 'occurs to him'.. this hallucination, is a 'win-win' one.. the after effects do stay.. after-effects do not need a hefty-fee to a psychiatrist, in fact, it keeps me away from him!... The residues of 'common cases' of hallucination doesn't tally here!..

He goes on 'speculating' thus... And maybe, another problem of a new source of gratitude for him... But that is his problem, (though a fictional story of mine)!...

Fictionally yours,

psn (24th December, 2014)

What is emotion?

I asked.

It was a behtareen insaan/ a refined person....  (when it is a male, we call the post 'chairman', but when it a lady, we had-to make it as 'chairperson', as if a male is no more a 'person' when chaired!)..


Anyway, here I call it a 'person', because I do intend it to be 'personal' (be it about 'that' person, or others!)

What I did further was, to add, “please hold your answer for a while...   till you 'observe' what happens within, 'due' to the question, (assuming, that the mind now decides to look at it afresh!).


It is risky to ask an anger prone-person, “Sir/Madam, what is anger?” (the immediate 'second-track' within might 'also' be, something like “Now... now, now..   are you trying to prod(incite, jab..)?...  are you trying to 'teach'?...   get lost!!!”  And this person would even demonstrate a little visibly, even in-between that plastic-smile (like that 'reading-between-lines')...

An emotionally unstable person too would feel 'prodded' by such a question (what is emotion?)... the immediate impulse is, 'Hey, is he trying to provoke/invoke my instability?'...  (at least, with an 'anger-predominent one' we know, the texture of lava that would pour out of the volcano called 'anger'...  but with emotional instability...?  it is just 'anybody's guess'!)

By now, we would have felt the 'original question' to have subdued a little....  The mind has got busy with how questions which are quite 'impersonal' in its own exclusivity, but how we...  try to make it too-personal, often!  (that is what a mind is!)...  anyway...

Now I ask,  when we read/listen-to   this question (what is emotion?), “are we not trying to look within?” ..  Here we do not even try to find out the 'address' of  'where exactly—within?'...  the 'looking is instantaneous'.. ...  (and then what ever happens within is a world in itself, unique to each of us...  so no point comparing even!)...


question-ably yours,
psn (18th December, 2014)

Data Structure(for dummies)

I guess, that atleast in the spiritual arena , this title is not 'usurped' as yet (a polished way of saying usurped is perhaps, 'patented'!)...

Techies who happen to land on this narrative when they google for computerised data structure are going to really get annoyed, perhaps!

But, the whole of the 'struggle' , the bulk of the struggle, even on a spiritual path seems to relate with a 'study' about the 'data-structure' too...

We start with the 'best' data 'consciousness', 'soul, God, and such abstract terms, and keep looking for 'data'.. only then to study its structure!

The data thought to be 'now-useless' was lying as a scrap, junk, discarded, and perhaps even a cruel reminder of a 'total-failure'... A dog fiddled with that data, with its paws, and it made some noise... This noise caught the attention of that 'owner of failure'... He scrambled for that 'data', and now worked on the 'newly discovered' -- “structure”... of that data... the gramophone record... And the story says, that is how the dog perched up the non-data area of the records, as an 'icon' of 'Hum kisis se kam nahi' concept, when it is about structure-analysis of data, and we human's still insist on degrading that 'structure-analyst' with a caption “His Master's Voice”....!!!

The temple construction was not just about gathering some building material, stacking it properly (sole criteria, gravity-related-issues, or weather-turbulence... these two issue, we see better handled with the design of an aircraft!) and then doing some ritualistic practices, as a group... Even the stones were to contain a well-structured data... which would be 'responsive' (“inter-active” device, to say it in computer terminology!)... and the internal power storage needed to be replenished once in twelve years!

The wheel, is a structured data, improvised in its -interactive-functionality, when the raw data form did not 'mean-anything' hitherto... (Hither to, was quite a long period of time!)... So, was that sharp pointed stone as a potential weapon for the early 'data-structure' called stone-age-human! Otherwise, it was just 'random footprints in a vast data' of stones lying all over the forest.. This pointed-stone-data, the stone-age-human discovered, would deter that 'virus data' (the wild animal) from 'hacking' this 'automated-data' (the human, already starts to consider himself as self-automated!), and making a dent, to render the 'responsive-data-structure' (life), as dysfunctional, and then dissemble the re-usable parts (flesh), and add them as 'additional accessories'/replenishment/whatever, to its own structure (looks far-fetched?.. Well, ask any Goan, and he might narrate a story re-told often “Yes, years ago, St.Xavier's body was kept open, and can be touched even, by visitors.. but some visitor had tried to add to oneself a part of that Saint, and bit off quickly the big toe of one of his feet,, and now, it is kept in a glass box, for safe-preservation!”.

A look at our private library (or if it sounds too big a word, the 'collection of books'.. now calling it “collection”.. is a very safe term to classify the data-structure, without revealing our dishonesty, as to how that collection was undertaken--- forgot to return?, stolen?.. when these did not work, 'yes-bought-it'!... ).. a look at that dust ridden books-lot, would reveal our aptitude for data-collection!

Still worse, people who house a lot of data, in a tight-fight cubicle we call 'apart-ment' (though the data structure is about 'same-building'), find it easier to buy a new data, than search for the old one lying in the loft, forgotten where it is... just because we really did not care to look at the 'structure' of data (old-stuff, never used for the past more than 6 months!)....

Now, with super-gagdets, and high-speed connectivity, we 'sync' with 'apps' and keep repeating mutual-data-exchange, just because we don't know where to look for it within our own resources!

How about our own data-structure? Are we resourceful? Are we a receptive structure? Or shall we keep 'structuring' the external data resources, earning a tag, a living by that tag, etc?... Oh! That reminds me of another structure.. our “core”-O/s.. operating-system!... And the device to even take a look at it, they say 'witnessing aspect'... as if it is some 4-D-goggles (yet to come up on Googles)

Structurally yours

psn (17th December, 2014)

Insulation

The web meaning appeared to be a bit 'non-committal' about the functionality of its concept, as we would like to look at it when we try it on ourselves...

I went to that thick old dictionary, it offered a little more help though reluctantly “one who,, or that which, insulates” (not good enough!)... it further says, “a contrivance for insulating a conductor” (yes! This one offers to come a little closer!)

Now that 'contrivance' also indicates (something contrived, as a mechanical device or a clever plan)... Oh! A 'Clever-plan'... !

No wonder, when the “mind” decides to insulates itself, it does a really good job!

Just our electric cables, where the insulation is not to protect the 'energy' that flows through it, but to protect ourselves from that 'electrocution'!

Energetically yours,

psn (15th December, 2014)

Our Gestures!

A keen pair of eyes were sharply focused, waiting to see if there is a speck, a glimpse, or a spark of life in that body... It was a 'look out for a gesture'! That body, hopefully still holding some 'life' was 'all-for-gestures' and with a pair of eyes, having an admirable focus, enviable perhaps even by those that were now waiting too see that speck of life!

Some where in between language struggles to make a distinction, that it is 'really' a gesture too, but in a very 'round-about-way'!... And we create a separate folder called 'articulation' and store it there, for future comparison and ofcourse our own way of 'judgements'. This articulation, we usually respond with a 'like'.. and the response is a gesture of a smile or a click (safe enough, and it is not going to be subjected to further adjudication!).

I happen to recollect a reverse-situation... It was during a train journey... An 'anxious' pair of eyes were 'keenly' focused (wishing that this keenness would be needed to last too long), through a 'some' body sitting right across me, on the other side.. .. A 'gesture' now... I thought, that needs to be calmed down, if I am to breath freely the gush of air forcing its entry through my nostrils, with all the contents that come along, unwillingly even, when it was a furiously racing train that trained its speed on the air in that desolate track.

I said, “Sir, I respect your right to keep staring at me!”... He blinked! He widened his eyes, to clearly gesture that he never heard of any such rights! Nor did I hear about it ever before! It just occurred to me, that is all!..

I thought let me correct myself... and I further ventured... “Sir, may be it is your freedom to stare at me, since eyes have a choice of visibility!”... It was a foolish attempt... ! He only further widened his gaze, with a gesture that perhaps meant “Now, what was that?... the freedom, when there was no 'independence struggle' that I can recollect about?”...

“Sir, actually, even I am confused, about the difference between a freedom and a right... When others notice and still we get away, may be it is a right (law-enforced), and when no body is there to notice, it might be almost like a 'freedom'... Or.. maybe, some other word, other than freedom and right, allows you to stare at me, but 'freely-ofcourse'!”

Now, I thought, it is better to wait for some 'articulated-gesture'...

But, luck wouldn't favor me , for sure, ... I knew...! I had a 'big-mouth' friend beside me, who butted in with, “Oh! Please do not mind him ... he doesn't have to look for something to start a conversation!.. It just pops out of him.. He is like that! (like what?, I wondered, if there was an 'alike' of me!)”..

It was a private conversation between my friend and me, that when somebody is 'forced' to sit opposite to us (seating arrangements are 'such'!), there is nothing else for the other to do except stare at the other fellow seated across to him... And 'clever' ones try to alternate this staring-business, like some 'mutual-benefit-scheme'!

(I would not venture to continue with 'further details here'... who knows, one of the readers might get help from this 'incident' to nail me, .. despite the changes in the contours of my face that nature has blessed me as a camouflage!)..

It is 'gestures'... that fascinated me... And I could not avoid reference to the 'frankness' of animals, about their 'predictable-gestures' (I don't think they are 'exactly-honest' about it... and so 'frankness', a lesser harmful word! Bah! This 'honesty' is so trouble-mongering one, when gestures are usually honest, and it is articulation that provides our much-needed-camouflage!).. It is not for 'nothing' that people talk about percentages of 'body-language' that gives-us-away!.. Gives us away? To whom?... Oh! It is just that the secret is out!... But what about 'nothing'? Dunno!

When it came to 'spirituality', my mind started looking ... and this time, 'By-Default'.. for any gestures that it would make, ... at least a tell-tale-evidence... that this spirit within is really 'keen about spirituality'..! But the teacher keeps insisting that all that this spirit does is to 'stare' (they use a rather-tough word, 'saakshi-bhaav'.. , 'witnessing-aspect-within'.. etc!).. And the 'expectation' is that 'we' somehow 'manage' to ensure that this staring-fellow becomes such that it becomes 'our-awareness'... and all this 'circus', right within! The 'gestures' that they call as tools and techniques, whether with some crazy-like-movement (aasanaas/pranayam, clipping the nose, entwining the limbs in a great discomforting-way,... etc), or even that crazy-non-movement, sitting at a place like an idiot, eyes closed, and doing 'nothing' and they call it 'a meditation'... and as if, this meditation is not a confusion-enough, the explanation is 'it is a dynamic state of non-doing'... Dynamics is physics, but why here ?... We too can rebut with a phrase, which we know for sure that nobody knows fully-about-it, as yet... the dynamics of 'quantum-entanglement-theory'.. but that was not our purpose.. we were so 'innocently' and humbly trying to 'catch-hold' of that 'gesture by our-own-dear-spirit'!!!! (bah! Again that non-existent-nothing!... space or vacuum is not 'nothing'!).. Even these variations of 'gestures' do not seem to really bother that spirit staring at us clandestinely! Now what? (this 'what' is the most bothersome 'gesture' by our mind, when it does not find any other mind around, to mind, and unto ourselves.. err.. 'it-self'... okay 'what'-ever!)

The scare now is that , it (that spirit) would 'wake' up and start blinking (only a 'maybe so'!) when it cannot be contained any more within this frame work that does all the hectic gestures (snoring included please!)... But now it is a sort of 'revenge' by this body! 'Seek' another dumb body now!, says the box or that fire, ... (whatever)!.. But thereafter it is another 'story' not connected with our 'real-istic' gestures here!

Some where, these gestures of ours inter-mingle ... (my guess of course)..

Justly, Just a Jest of a gest-ure,

yours,

psn (11th December, 2014)

Sense of Loyalty

“In our organisation, the 'rule' is, if somebody doesn't perform, it is the immediate boss, who is inefficient...  and so, to escape a 'slaughter', I slog, taking up that fellow's work too!” said a youngster to me, when I asked him, “Hey! Your company handpicks brilliant gold-medalists from all over, pays astronomical 'cost-to-company' (that famous 'CTC'), and yet you say, your immediate junior does not churn out results?”....

When I was taken to the 'action-movie' of 1960's...  James Bond—movies, it was...   And I was surprised at the concept 'He is a double'!...  And the 'explanation' only furthered my puzzle, a double-agent, is not true to its nomenclature!..   He is loyal to neither of the countries!  He is loyal to the 'commission' he gets!

The spark plug inside an engine of a well-tuned vehicle might perhaps say, “Oh! I just did my duty..  I spark any combustible mixture that comes my way!  If my right-kind of spark happens to carry a heavy load, and people smoothly, fuel-efficiently etc...  it is just incidental, and I deserve no thanks for that...  Just make sure that I am ensured my quota of electric power, to keep sparking all-the-way!”...   It is “we”, who like to ensure a 'media-effect-too' while 'merely-announcing' that, we were only doing our duty, and so the shower-of-praises doesn't belong to us...  (Try shifting that praise to somebody nearby, and we would 'know' , perhaps the hard-way.... where that praise 'be-longs' to! ).


Whether it is about recruiting an employee, picking a disciple, choosing a life-partner, etc, one of the criteria is to 'find-out' as to 'where is that person's sense-of-loyalty' likely to be?...   A 'lady' of the house would buy vegetables that stay-fresh longer...  and this 'sense of loyalty' ends up with dishes in that kitchen hovering around only those vegetables, that are loyal to long-life, instead of a 'quality-life'...  And as a result, the kids of that home never get to taste green-leaves, and such nutritious varieties...  now their 'health' leans its loyalty to the next-door 'GP' ...  a general physician..  while our sense of 'language-loyalty' presents problems if somebody is likely to ask, 'Hey, What do you call a veterinarian that can only take care of one species? A physician'  (our 'sense of loyalty to confine to just-human-related-specialists paved the way for an amazing talk: “Barbara Natterson-Horowitz: What veterinarians know that doctors don't”  on TED talks)

......


Now it is quite easy to guess...  Most people strive 'towards money'...   it solves lots of problems...  Now, as a nation, some people maintain it as 'making money' while others just grab, loot, steal etc..

I tried to ask a frequent visitor to one of the 'holy' places, Sringeri, “To whom does the pontiff owe his loyalty to?”..   And this visitor amazed me with a crisp reply: “His Guru”...!!!   True, he was 'handpicked' to carry the baton...   the purpose, for which that particular Mutt was 'established'!... To propagate the worth  of Maha Vakya, 'Aham Brahma Asmi', and the Yajur-veda, in 'as-much-demonstrable-as-possible' way!  (what the visitors and devotees happen to notice and admire is 'usually' the things incidental to the 'strength' of loyalty that happens through each pontiff in that lineage)..


The spirit within us, doesn't seem to look-towards any sense-of-loyalty from us (our body and mind), and yet, even if we part with a small percentage of our sense-of-loyalty to the fact that it is this spirit that 'fuels', empowers the functioning of our body and mind, the scope of this spirit to manifest its power is manifold!

Loyally yours,
psn (10th December, 2014)

Our dislikes

“I am apt mystic saar”... He said, in reply to my query whether he was sure about it (something, that sounded like a judgement, when it was supposed to be only a guess, a prediction!)... That was his possible-best, when trying to articulate his 'optimism'-orientation!

If I had a dislike for his native accent, which affected a foreign tongue vibrating through his vocal cord, I would have indeed missed the 'mystic aptness' that he did carry! He was quite popular for his off-hand predictive statements that did mystify others around... One of our dear colleagues, who was an object of 'dislike' for quite a few, especially when his chants/rants came true, to their own 'disliked-results'...

That sent me thinking about the 'dislike patterns' we carry as 'selective' beings... Our selectivism is not really 'need based'.. perhaps, not even want-based at times, but like-based... Even the most genuine addicts would like that their drinks would not taste so bitter, at least for the first two 'rounds' (later , even the brand would not matter, anyway!).

Just because we find two of us alike, does not always make us like each other, and the other way, 'unlikes' is likely to be a wonderful base for mutual-likes. A dislike doesn't fit in anywhere except when we like to be something that we really are not. And the discovery of the whole process of finding out what we are, is about transcending our likes and dislikes too!

During the phase of volunteering, I found it to be a 'demanding' skill to discover undisclosed dislikes of a few eager-seekers, so that they would transcend their hurdles, silk-smooth... But my hurdle was when I saw that the distinction I had to make was between dislikes of their body and mind! (For example, some people like chana-dal, but their body dislikes it, and instantly shows as skin-irritation-blisters/bulges! ... Some very 'personal' dislikes gets liked by the physical-persona, and their physique too adapts, and addicts to those dislikes, like those couch-potatoes, who dislike a bare-floor to sleep on...)

My earliest memory of 'dislike' was, when my school-teacher decided to initiate me into a new lesson when I just began to like the present one... The new lesson, always felt like an unpleasant stranger! And this dislike began to snowball into a dislike for even the 'promotion' (we were not adjudged as 'passed' .... And one of the elders at home, who perhaps had a dislike for that promotion-without-wage-hike, and he said, 'Oh! So, you didn't really pass the exams, but you were somehow 'promoted' to the next class?'... and it sent me thinking into decide whether it was good to dislike a promotion or a 'pass'!.)

We as kids used to eat anything that was served as 'edible' food... But the taste for dislikes seems to be growing... Kids specialise into dislikes for even 'brands' of noodles, not just the variety called noodles! Even the 'extra' liking for something is about exclusivity of other un-mentioned-dislikes! When such 'dislikes' abound, how do we resist a corruption of mind?... Once the mind is corrupt, how do we avoid our general-dislikes like 'corruption, pollution, etc'?... Then, a 'like', and a likely-future-liking... to keep talking about 'dislikes' is the option to sugar coat it! A mind which is thus caught into likes and dislikes, is more busy with its attention being diverted into grading, classifying, storing etc, of its likes and dislikes, and the grasp of any concept it is true-perspective evades... Attention span finds it easier to make good its escape before the decision of a like-dislike is pronounced! And we try to talk of things like 'acceptance', 'surrender' etc... Now the problem(for some of us) is, perhaps, something like this : “those with whom I like to be, are found in a forum which I dislike, and to further compound it, their dislikes are through absence of response-comments, which includes “me” when it is only supposed to be about my blogs!”.. And for me, it feels almost like fishing in troubled-waters! The best reach for spiritual concepts are when the mind is oscillating between this indecisiveness, only then to have a choice whether to deepen the 'settling-down' into those concepts!

No wonder , we have a “like” button to click on our blogs.. Others are to be simply blocked from voicing their dislikes even!

Likely yours,

psn (3rd December, 2014)

Our Compromises

Some of us, make the whole of our life into a compromise, while some among us struggle with each compromise thrust upon us!

Our ancients used to draw inspiration from stories that get woven around creatures in wilderness, to be able to hold-on to certain values that do not hold its value when compromised!

Eg-jam-pul/example

http://padmum.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/the-legendary-indian-birds-hamsa-chatakas-and-chakoras/

This time, if I start out even with hilarious instances of 'how and why we compromise', it would deter those non-compromising friends from reading any further! And so I compromise towards a non-compromising position!

“Either it is a 100% or it is just a Zero” announced our teacher, when it was about our practices 'expected to yield ... some spiritual experience'... and he added, “which means, 99.9% is also the same as a zero!” ... The teacher's compromise was about refraining from reminding us of this concept too often! (When it was anything-about-spirituality, I never needed to be told even twice!.. My weaknesses agreed a compromise on this one-aspect, and I in turn allowed them to retire on-their-own, voluntarily! What I did miss was a loop-hole in my own part of contract-agreement-deed, and even good-things got retired too soon!).

We know, too well, as to where all we did those compromises in our lives!

Our 'being' awaits just one more our compromise... that we would 'never-compromise' using a compromise, when it is about a spiritual compromise, and instead just give up everything that we seem-to-have/own, as a one-time-settlement!

Uncompromisingly yours,

psn (28th November, 2014) 

Utilisation of potential

Like any other kid, bubbling with life, full of zeal, eager to 'take in' everything and anything that I see around, I too was wide-eyed, most of the time, when staring into anything unfamiliar!(we often remark, especially to a kid... 'No... don't place it too close to that baby, it would try to put anything into its mouth!'. And then we silently-pray, that the kid would not ask 'why so?'..!!! The deeper experience, the more-intimate experience, that 'we'.. had provided to that baby was, when it got its 'mother's milk'... and obviously, the 'input-devices' that we seek, by default.... is what 'we-are-more-comfortable-with'! The baby does the same... it 'thinks' (rather, 'feels') that ..... feeling via-tongue is the best option to feel anything, right now! The touch doesn't give 'that kind of a depth'..! ). When the baby becomes a kid, the eyes take over, and hands reach where the eyes lead them, that is why we keep 'costly/fragile/risky' items out of 'sight' of a kid, when he manages the 'reach' for anything within-sight! (it is another matter that the kid's trust-level slides down when it discovers that we keep things out of its sight, while .... we perhaps... fail-to-realise that our security-concerns are over-riding our 'response-ability' to teach the kids, to discern and then discriminate!).

All this affects the utilisation-of-potential, one way or other!

“I can't afford to spend my time to teach you... just-one-fellow.. so, ask this question in the class, so that ... 'maybe' some other kid might grasp my words better”... says a 'concerned' teacher!

I looked at so much.... even when a kid, and thus thought... “If I don't mean any interruption to the other, it is okay to just watch 'to my fullest-possible-attentiveness' what is 'going-on' during the 'activity of the other' ...” And therefore, even the simple+routine walk to and fro, home and school, became an 'event' for me, on a daily basis, afresh! Memories surge, revealing the unique mannerisms of those whom I watched, (the ill-protected-from-view... slums did reveal the inside-of-homes, too when a poor lady utilises the sparse wherewithals to 'her-best', starting from the tiny space in that dwarfed-hut!)..

What I missed to notice was the deepening of my-own-perceptions!... I was just lost into what I was observing!... This must have been the 'why'... I thought later, that I missed to take note of how I grew, when I grew... dimensionally too, in my perceptions (the physical growth was measured by the 'too-soon-ill-fitting of clothes that came as charity to me from my cousins.. apart from the 'discovery' of a sudden reach when I keep jumping towards something at a height!)... Certain things did mystify me, like, .. when my mom chided me, 'you need not know... just repeat these words to your dad, and he would know!'... One evening, the ladies of neighbourhood gathered around my younger sister, and where in a heated-discussion, and I was clueless about what could have 'happened' to this girl?... Then they decided, my father is to be told 'urgently'! A 10 paise coin was the cost involved, and what came free was 'me', who would run up to the nearest coin-box hanging at the pillar of a large hospital's foyer, about half a kilometer away from where we rented a house, and called it our-home! I hurried to that box, and shouted at my best when my father announced himself on the phone (that shouting was for two reasons: 1)To deliver the entire message within 3 minutes, I was given only one ten-paise-coin... and 2)To ensure that he hears!), I repeated “mom said 'quote: my sister has grown up'..” and I waited, to see if he would 'offer-some-details'! All he said was “okay, I would do the needful, tell her”... Still a few more seconds to go.. I ventured, 'dad, what does it mean, we all grow up, but nobody announces thus on a specific day?'.. He said, 'I will tell you later'.. And mercifully, he did! (I still revere my dad for the amazing choice of words, the reach towards my tiny mind, and telling in a 'way' that a 'kid-like-me' would easily understand, and also ensuring that what was told was the 'right-dosage'... No copy-paste available for him then! He had to 'decide' by a conscious choice, whether a kid of my age needs to be told all this!.. My sister matured a little early, by 'normal-standards'.. so I heard the elder ladies say.. but it was not so-unusual, and yet a little uncommon.. The rest of the rituals that followed for next 4 to 5 days, did make a large deficit in my dad's budget, while I was on my 'learning-process' about how nature-even, without any 'natural-calamity' affects a poor family's budget!

The tendency to 'over-eat' got curbed, when I realised that my utilisation of that extra morsel of food was 'indulgence' when so many others are so-hungry around me!... Only when something is sure to go a waste, would I really think-of-consuming, not otherwise.. It just looked like 'common-sense' and nothing more! But, that concept of 'full-utilisation' of resource of any kind... it did sink deeper and deeper, with the passage of time!... I started feeling 'hesitant' to draw the attention of somebody who is 'great' in some way! Am I sure to justify gobbling up all-his efforts, time, and resources?...

A story came up, during my teens... It seems a humble musician from south(India), walked up all the way to have an 'audience' (a darshan), of the great musical composer, singer and also known as a saint... The saint Thyagaraaja Bhagawathar. In those days, any musician worth his name would mostly, engage into a musical rendition of Bhagawatham (some ancient holy scripture), and hence the title-Bhaagawathar, (I guess)... This humble musician was known as 'Govinda Marar'... He requested Thyagaraja, to allow him to listen to a song.. And this Saint, rebuked saying “What do you think of yourself?.. to ask me to sing a song 'exclusively for you'?... Go and stand behind a pillar at that temple, and wait.. when I sing for an audience, you too may listen”... Govind-ji bowed humbly, to gesture an acceptance.. But this gesture emboldened the other, who went on further, with “What do you know about music, to have such an audacity?.. Come on, show me your talent, if any? Sing a song right now!”.. And this went on, till our Govind jee had no escape but to sing... He sang. And he did it with 'all he knew' about how to sing a song... He sang the same song in 6 different time-scales (that was what earned a title to him as 'Shat-Kaala-Govinda Marar)... There was no 'media-effect' like now, and once a person crosses a wide river in those days, he is a complete stranger on the other banks!.. Our 'saint' could not hold back the flood of tears that rolled down his eyes, when he realised at once the 'potential' of this frail-looking, ill-clad humble man standing before him!.. The emotion of reverence deepened far-beyond his own ability to contain it... and the result was... what we hear today as the 'most' revered one, out of the famous 'pancha-Ratna-Kritis' during the annual aaraadhana day of the saint at Tiruvayaru every year... “Numerous great beings there are... and I bow to all of them” is the meaning of the opening sentences of that song! (“Endaro mahaanu bhaavulu..”... A foreigner's “John Higgins” was the voice which I heard first when I got introduced to this song!... The language is Telugu, as is the Kritis of this composer, Saint Tyagaraja)...

What I could not really manage (even to contain it)was when I discovered the 'possibility' that ... there could be several of 'unearthly beings' ... who devoted their entire-selves, to keep running after me, all the time (time, beyond the cosmic sense, of course, since they are not confined within material matter), and I do not even 'feel' their presence all along.. only then, to even 'think' of full-utilisation of their 'unconditional dedication for a 'meagre' like me! What about pay-back?.. Trillion-dollar-question?.... More than that! But, even logically, is not the whole of this universe, collectively and aggregately sustaining us? If nothing else? Minus a few planets around, was it okay for us? Hey, the greenery of small park near our colony was adjudicated by High court recently, and upheld by Supreme court , as 'lung space' for the dwellers nearby! Supply of fresh oxygen as their exhalation, the plants! If that is the case, what about our co-habitants, who might... helplessly-even.... copy paste some junk material from somewhere into a blog, in all innocence... thinking that we are badly in need of that oft-repeated-rant? Oh! I guess, I mixed up issues a 'little-too-much' (a paradox in words even like in Hindi too...'thoda-jyaada hi ho gaya shaayad!).

Potentially yours,

psn (25th November, 2014)

Sporting Spirituality

'He sports a mustache, now a days!'... And I started wondering, how can it be a sport, a game, when that growth is by default, a function of nature ? All we can do is to trim or scrape it, with appropriate implements (agriculture ke 'field' mei, it is 'implements', .... and this-moustache, is also a kind of crop! Even a baldie manages to grow this crop, at least! Upar wale ki meherbaani, moonch par-tak, shortage problem nahi laaya.. bhale hi 'saara-mujh-par-tak' kyon na ho!).

At that age, the term 'sport/s' was a little 'misty' to me, neither a rain drop nor a cloud! 'Games', was more familiar... and I was so 'relieved', when they insist on 'sports-man-spirit' only outside any game...! (Both, 'sport' and 'spirit' were elusive, conceptually and tangibly!)

But, I did engage into a 'game' which turned into a 'sport' for me , quite inadvertently! I could 'see' almost anything that these 'elders' speak of, talk about, or talk-with-too (be it murmuring to oneself even!)... This 'life' which is ticking within me, seemed elusive... The nails and hair are clipped by elders, and yet, I do not 'miss' anything like a 'part of my life gone with it...!'...

About those 'about-to-die' people, I even heard elders say “She is holding back the life, ... some desire perhaps! Try applying a little mud mixed with water, near to her lips, and she might 'pass-away' peacefully!” (A great-great ganny was 'sporting' with 'life', lying on the floor, manifesting a few jerks of life every few minutes, while preparations were already on.. for the 'next-things-to be done' by elders around.. they were too busy to 'check-me-out', and I knew, this scene is 'for adults only'.. so I remained as inconspicuous as possible {remaining+ 'also-not-there'... was yet another difficult task, which I seldom engaged myself into.. but death-scenes fascinated me right from early age... may be 4 or 5 then..}). This witnessing of 'death',.. though, not knowing what 'actually' was happening with that person, .. this process got 'me-involved' by the other elusive-player, spirituality.. (if we may call that concept so.. personification of the concept-of-spirit in us)...

I did not feel any 'need' to firstly verify, if there is something called 'life' in a human body! I am asleep and do not remember anything about it! It must be life, then... that is taking care of 'everything' about me!

Maybe, that started the game, the sports ... with only one player on the other side of me.. The player and 'his' game ... both are elusive! It is a kind of 'seek-only' game... He doesn't have to even hide! ....My hide hides him, right within! ..... And therefore, the 'rituals' that was 'supposed to address' the the other player, the spirit/s attracted me 'naturally-now'! It was up to me to make 'sama' to that 'kriti', of what is already a wild, crude, raw player, a creation, a kriti.... by 'Pra', or prakriti... The 'bottling' of it may be the technology (I felt,) to become sam-s-kaar, and the 'programming-language' or the 'O/s'/operating system .. Samskriti/sanskrit... (an effective & communicating interface, which 'attempts' to create a liason between the 'player' and the 'played-with-{mind}-etc'...! All this, seemed so vague, so fuzzy,... I never really 'expected-even' , the people around me to participate in any kind of 'meaning-ful' listening... they were thoroughly engaged in other sports of material-life... their spirits could be 'snoring' (I thought!)...

Years, decades... later...

I met a sportsperson. 'X', who became a good friend of mine, and fortunately, after some time, I turned into a good-friend of that person-too!

I engaged him into a conversation, which I thought would not see the print-sport, but would sprint away with that 'chat' ... But today, I felt amused, recalling that chat, and it seems to relate with what I have stated above, the experience of my own sports-game with spirituality...

I asked him: “Arey yaar... agar hum, 'sirf' statistics dekhenge tou... If we just look at it 'statistically', in your entire sports-career, ... is it not 'loses' that have a tall graph, with those few wins at great-tournament, crowning you with a 'seeded-player'?”...

He paused, trying to 'see' what I was 'trying-to-get-at'.....

“Y-e-s....” he conceded..

I said, “And in those practice-sessions, you, cheerfully loved to lose... be it a 'live-volunteer' who gives you those 'tough-hurdle-serves', or a 'mechanical-device' like those bowling machines for cricketeers!”... he agreed... “And when it is a live-tournament, this 'cheerfully-agreeing-to-lose' becomes a 'killer-instinct' to now... 'somehow' outwit the other... (let the umpire object, if at all...!).. .. and we end up tapping lesser than our potential of 'practice-sessions'?”.. He agreed.

I continued... “Now I like to ask a quiz, which is likely to embarrass you a little... Lekin, thoo tou mera yaar hai... kuch bhi 'pooch'... like , I can catch hold of your poonch/tail, without the risk of annoying you?”.. He smiled..

I asked: “Did you ever take advantage of the 'experience' of that high-rate-of-failures, the losing-of-game, losing-of-matches... due to your sports-career.. to evolve into spirituality?.. Aam aadmi doesn't have that 'privilege' of having lost so many arguements, so-many-games in real life,... and so would fail 'emotionally' when spiritual practices seem so-stupid, when nothing 'seems-to-happen' spiritually-speaking... with those practices?.. Maybe, the health gets toned-up at a cheap-rate without gadgets/medicines/tonics/etc... But the mind is unable to report any news, worth while?”...

He became silent... After a while, he said, “Hey... you have opened that window a little wider, when I was, all along ... feeling that the chill-wind is creeping in through the weak joint of the broken hinges of that closed window!” .. (He did explain ... 'his-view' of that damaged-window.. but, I would keep that part for some other time!... Suffice it here to give just a hint, that the memory of 'notable' failues had caused that chill... which he now learnt to look at as 'blessings'! This sportsperson was a 'co-student' during my spiritual-program-classes... and we shared a few mystifying experiences, when we tried to 'suspect' each other, for doing some-tricks, when we sat with 'back-to-back' for meditative sessions, where, the wall-rest was fully-occupied by freshers, in that hall).

What I was hesitant to tell him was, “I had only failures/loses to account for, in my sports-game with the opponent called 'spirituality'”... In our country, this sport of 'spirituality' has 'lost' its recognition as a game, while rural games like gilli-danda, kabbadi are 'waiting' for recognition.. A few elite class in urban places use the game of spirituality , only-for-match-fixing! It works... since the real player is ever-elusive-as-always, to both.. the match-fixers, as well as the victims of match-fixing.. so, without a 'habeus-corpus'((“ a writ requiring a person to be brought before a judge or court,”), koi case hi nahi Ban-taa/no-case-at-all...!

Sporting(ly), you(rs)...

psn(20th November, 2014)

Trust Worthiness

That salesman at the door, now-a-days finds it a 'marketing-strategy' to talk about freebies at first! “Madam/Sir,” he begins, as soon as we open the door to see 'who it is'... and says, “This encyclopedia is 'free' ... for you”....!

Now, we are interested to 'find out a little more'..! Very soon, (but not until he has firmly 'guessed' that you are 'really interested' to get that 'free' large-sized-book,... ) he would slowly hight light the fine-print, “Only when you buy a set of those 3 books, which I offer for Rs.269/- each costing Rs.100/-”... We 'see' that this encyclopedia itself is worth Rs.500/- plus!... A good bargain! Anyway, those 3 book are not of 'much-use'... but even there there is a 'bargain'... Rs.100/- X 3=Rs.300/- and he charges only Rs.269/- (Ek rupya chutta nahi hai, and practically, he takes Rs.270/-..!)

We buy those stupid 3 books, but at first, spend time to take a look at the 'free' one ... The very size is so big... after some half an hour, we look at the date stamp, to realise that it is an outdated-edition! (All that the salesman manages is to encash our 'weakness' for some material thing... he has no time-even, to find a way to invoke our-trust-in-him!... So, we started an endless game, of outwitting/trying-to-outwit/etc.. each other!.. Anybody who is not so-good at this game is an 'idiot' who does not know, 'how to survive'.. This 'how to survive' can only aim at extending life, not deepening the 'experience of life'... because, this game engages our mind totally, not leaving any scope for 'awareness' of life... The only possible argument here is, life happens in this very moment -only... where as, the mind is always 'about-some-past', though it can even think of a 'future' too!... And it is sheer 'awareness', without the mind's interference that can deepen 'any-experience-at-all' of 'life'... What we 'think-of', as life experience is, right now, what the mind-dictates to us, as its-own-story!... When we feel that our-mind is not so-smart... we take a fancy to listen to another better-story-telling-mind! The paradox is, the reach right now.. is only through a mind, to somehow convince it, “please ... stay aside for a while.. while I try to 'experience' life”... Our mind does not find 'us' trustworthy-enough, to be 'on our own', even for a while, a moment-even!!!.. The spirit/life/energy/whatever, within us... has dubious ways of ensuring its own 'rest and recuperation or restoration'.. it just ensures to 'silence' us forcibly.. but that is when/what we call it as 'deep-sleep'. This human frame was a 'design' by the life/spirit, to make an experience of life possible for itself, using mind too, as a tool.. where as, our 'game-rules' about handling 'trust' does not accommodate that 'life' within to participate at all, nor even to 'witness', and mind takes over the entire 'show'!... Whatever we do, we end up into a 'test-of-strength' between ...'us' and our own minds... instead of that 'togetherness' of deepening the 'life-experience'! )

Slowly, some of us 'learn' to be careful with anything that comes 'free'! ('Free-door-delivery' , despite a heavy discount! Now our mind is engaged, into “where the hell is the 'catch'?..”...

With such a kind of a mind (whose very nature is shaped by 'market-conditions'... nothing to do with 'living a life meaningfully'), we try to approach things like spirituality, devotion, religion, culture&traditions branded as 'religion' (Hindu- “ism”)... etc... We are into 'finding-out' the trustworthiness of each and everything around, each person we 'deal' with on the outside world, and then, reaching home, we inadvertently end up 'testing' our own dear ones, inadvertently! There is a price to pay, when we expend the bulk of our 'attention' into testing the 'trustworthiness' during most of our waking hours! We have no time even, to think of 'why at all, do we need to offer our own trust?'

“Do you find anything else to be 'ever diluting its offer of trust' , anywhere in nature?” , I asked an youngster, (taking advantage of the popular misconception that we human beings do not form a part of the nature! Other wise, I would have had to add, 'except us, humans'!).

“Even a murderer by profession, sows grains... and the seeds sprout... depending only on its own potential to respond to availability of nutients needed” (the youngster was 'reasonably' good at logic, and I could obviate the need to elaborate too much about absence of water/manure, etc being a 'possible cause' of the seed's failure to grow into a healthy plant).

The deer does not carry any negative 'residue' after a 'chase-in-vain' by a tiger, whose food this deer is.. It does trust the tiger, at a future date, that when it 'looks well fed', it is quite safe to 'even-stay' withing its 'grab-reach'... and the chase would be only when the tiger is 'hungry-for-food'! (I did not embarrass that kid, reminding him, with “Where as, we humans would eat that pizza, even when not hungry on the next day, just-because, we did not get it yesterday”)..

“Now,” I continued, “are we not ignoring the bulk of 'trust' that has been demonstrated in a big way, everywhere around us, by nature, when we declare too often 'where is that trust now-a-days'?”...

Yes, ... We can afford to ignore what is 'by-default' when our need is to engage with those who never/seldom offer trust... and therefore we 'strive' to somehow-succeed in life, despite odds... ignoring the fact that we create our own 'mutual hurdles' in this vicious-cycle we have set up for ourselves. The 'rules of the game' of life, when it is turned thus into a life-negative manner, our potential to explore into highest human possibilities gets stagnated.

Perhaps, (if those stories are to be believed, even as an indicative symbolism), the setting up of a place by Aadi Shankara, as a 'even a museum' (if it is too difficult to look at it as something 'spiritual'), the place itself, seems to support us to recall and remember (like the 'reminder-alarm' that we set-up on gadgets, when we are so-sure-to-forget something!), ... to remind ourselves that we are having the 'potential' to offer trust a little more 'unconditionally', thereby, living up to the very design of our own nature... 'the human form'!.. The story says that, a snake was found to be sheltering with its hood a frog (which was about to lay its eggs), from a torrential downpour, while the design of nature was that, 'frog was to be gobbled' as-and-when sighted, by a snake!... Some bird like a vulture was protecting its food-creature ('prey')... Aadi Shankara was surprised to 'sight' 3 of such 'rare' happenings, on the banks of a river, and he felt..'this place must be so energetic, spiritually, that.... even these creatures are able to transcend their basic nature ! Then, it must be able to also support human beings, who might spend spend a while here! The very place 'might' obviate the need to 'firstly-convince' that it is 'okay' to offer trust, and thereby ... come closer into invoking the highest human possibility, ... of evolving into spirituality... and then, enjoying the 'deep' experience of ' a human life'.. irrespective of what happens around us'... Maybe that is how a humble hermitage sprung up at the foothills of Sringa-Giri mountains! It is so difficult to 'explain' in words, the experience within, that the place offers, when we visit there, just the banks of that river, not even trying to step inside the structure that was 'supposed to have been consecrated' to enhance/amplify the 'unique energy' of that place (this word 'energy' is a very loose term... to be understood, with an indicative example, when we find those warnings on certain gadgets 'please make sure that this device is not place too close to any place with a powerful-magnetic-field, or else, the data maybe lost, apart from any possible mal-functioning of this device, due to the effect of such magnetic-field)...

The practical side of life!... We are driven by goals in our lives... The least of them, being 'somehow' manage to keep this body and soul (life within), together for its full-intended span.. The highest goal being, ... breaking all previous records of others (that is all .. that it sums up into... in a nutshell)! For other life forms, their life happens within 'set-parameters'.. For human beings, our potential (when invoked, our ability too), to transcend our own 'natural parameters' is a possibility... When we allow the decision to be outsourced to others... about our 'success-rate'... we are into their game, by the rules set by them! Oddly enough, when it is about them, it is 'we' who turn into that 'others' for them!... If this is clear, then the 'trust' factor becomes a little easier to understand! If that roadside vegetable vendor decides, not to give the goods till we pay, and we too decide, not to pay till we receive the goods into our hands, we need a 'middleman/person' who also decides not to expend his 'while' without a 'worth'!... We co-exist with other life forms... We continue to compete with our 'non-compromising-on-trust' games! The spirits keep hunting/haunting/whatever, its own share of 'deep life-experience'.. The eternity keeps waiting, with its infinite potential to wait!

Testily yours,

psn(16th November, 2014)

Short Supply

It was (a few decades ago,) usually a natural phenomenon in the market, when suddenly something is in shortage.. when something like Horlicks was not available, the retailer used to guess, 'perhaps rate is increasing'.. the new stock need not have a home-competitor with old rates! Today, it is a 'rigging' technology, and usually, the latest version is in stock-market!

As a kid, observing the various categories of 'short-supply' was so fascinating, that I discovered myself to be 'actually' looking into availability-level of certain things, that 'ought to be there' in a given set of, or a set-pattern of situation. “Fire” was written on a bucket full of sand kept at a conspicuous place in cinema theatres, and the surface was usually blood-red in colour, with fresh spit of pan-eaters (betel leaves chewed with tobacco, needs a spitting out of the pulp/gravy/whatever!) ... A grocer's shop has its cash counter with a 'protective' line-up of glass jars full of peppermints, chocolates, etc... (kids become more restless when adults 'usually' delay taking out the currency notes out of a wallet... 'let not the observer guess the total volume' and so pull out just-the-needed denominations!.. the cashier takes out a few chocolates, to avoid the brunt of that kid's restlessness... If that was not needed, he simply substitutes small change, returnable with bill, into few chocolates!)..

When such things are in short-supply, I get alerted!

Certain emotions are in a 'short-supply' in certain situations... (In the movie 'Zanjeer', Praan saab asks in a song 'Teri hansee ki keemat kya hai, yeh bataa de thoo...' A smile, when it is in short-supply, the rates quoted are in 'black'!)

Certain qualities are in a short-supply in certain situations... (For example, as a nation, we lack punctuality! And when 'odd-ones' get singled out... it is a matter of luck/fortune and chance how that odd-individual gets treated for this trait... Ah! Genuine appreciation for right-reasons, are also in short-supply!).

Proper grasp of concepts... when it is in short-supply... it is sought to be substituted with misconstrued ones, but with very similar and perhaps, more attractive labels! Love, honesty, friendship.. are traded so freely and abundantly in its 'duplicate' (again, the popular-sense of duplicate ... is supposed to mean 'fakes'!... Maybe, duplicate heroes of movies take the credit, and righlty so, when heroes themselves are just 'fictitious-characters' of a fiction!)...

But, somewhere, deep within us, there is always a seeking... (often, that 'seeking' .. we struggle to 'recognise'/identify... as if like, we are trying to find out somebody who is standing in a dark shadow, with the glare of light focused on ourselves)... When this seeking becomes a little intense, we feel a certain kind of 'emptiness'... waiting to be filled up... and then, if the situation outside fails to provide a cheer, then very soon , this 'vacant' feeling turns into a kind of depression too!

And I on the other hand was so well 'adjusted' with.... 'what can be expected from present day scenario'... used to feel an opposite emotion, when an appreciation actually turns into diluting of a certain 'value' in a closed group!

I made a comment at a blog, which I guess may not really go too-well with a few readers, unless they find a space to look at it from my view-point as well...

Let me copy paste that portion... here in below:

quote:

I felt a little saddened, when I found that 'honesty' was started to be appreciated at our work-place! I did not voice my concern though... But I privately asked a 'stupid' doubt to the officer at whose hands it was 'imposed' upon, to be given, that award... and he said "dekho, yeh sab mere duty ka ek hissa hai, mujhe kripaya murjrim na banaao"... What I asked him was "Sir ji... ek rupai ka chori bhi Chori-hi-hota hai... that is the concept.. kya similar concept apun ke work-place ke honesty mei bhi laagu hoga kya?" (I had no other oppor-chutney/opportunity... to settle my score! Many times, as a cashier, we ... not me alone.. get 'excess' one-note in a packet of 1s, 2s, 5s, 10s etc... We phone up the customer, and he being hesitant to say 'tum-he rakh lo'... says, 'saab, account mei jamaa kar do'... he is too lazy to come and collect that 'peanut-amount'... Now, if we credit the account, this officer says, "asiey chillar baton ke liye, ek voucher extra banaakar hamara kaam kyon badha rahe ho!"... In either case, our honesty-ki-aisi ki taisee!... We look like fools, with chillar-honesty! Not that big-honesty cannot be stage-managed! We had excellent relationship with costly-customers (not rich, but costly for bank to lose them!).. and 'anytime-for-you'... they would say... drop a gold chain.. one of us , name-hungry-idiots can pick it up, and make a show, vouched by that customer (but that would be the end of 'genuine-friendship' for that fellow with 'that' customer!...
We were not really too-happy when somebody thought of such honesty awards... It is okay, to have an honesty award at police-department, road transport etc.. at least public can know, work cannot happen through these people, when work is only via-bribe! 
Teachers, ... under ideal condition should, never look at a student as 'my-class/my-subject-wala student, etc'.. .. 'A' student... and I am 'A' teacher (whether he goes to 'any-school' or cannot afford 'A' school...).

But we appreciate anything that is in short-supply! (Ration ki dukan wale ko jyaada salaam maartey hue maine bahut dekha hai!)... The converse is the problem (especially with spiritual field).. Unless something is in short-supply, we "become unable" (or say become differently-abled), to appreciate it!... 

With this kind of an 'out-look' , I guess, I should ensure that I do not render myself into 'short-supply'.. the key to my freedom lies in being 'Any Time Idiot!' 

This 'short-supply' trick, we as kids noticed it only when that 'Ragada-wala' near our school, used to shout, 'sab ko milega bhai, line se aana'... he said this so mechanically, that we had a laugh, where there were just 3 of us, and the order was only by one-for-we-3...! (My classmate explained... 'Yeh ek naya trick hai... short-supply ka 'effect' laaney ke liye.. jyada bikri hota hai!).. One thing for sure, I felt, this future generation is going to get confused too-badly about positive-negative attitudes!

" that 'Ragada-wala"...
There was a vendor who used to sell 'saucer' full of what he named it as 'Ragada'... The main ingredient was Kabuli-chana, presoaked... the garnishings were a lot... Imli ka khatta itself was well fortified with several spices, and added only at the last moment... Tomato slices, kothambir, onion, tej-hari-mich sliced, ... all this for just 3 Naye-Paise! (and we used to ask a class mate, tere paas, ek naya paisa hai kya?.. mere paas sirf 2 hai... kal de doonga tere ko)... He has a small stove below a very large circular plate with a rim around which can hold about 5 litres of steaming ragada-base-stuff any time!.. It was too difficult to pass by that push-cart, without feeling the fragrance emitting from it... Even our 'drill-master' who used to warn us 'officially' that it is not good to eat such 'open-to-dust' items on road side, used to engage one of us to 'take a plate to a shop-wala some 100 yards away, where he would be 'awaiting' his quota.. the 'reward' for that kid is 'half-plate-free' from Ragada wala!... It was only during two weeks prior to exam dates, that the sales was poor (fever , dysentery, diarrhea etc ka darr.. But, I was not an easy victim to such fear... somehow my body knew, how to throw out 'needless-garbage'.. we drank water from a tank, which never knew the spelling of 'cleaning' in all its life-time! There was a whole world of 'biology' at the base of its inside.. I happened to get a peep while trying to hide at its roof-top, a small gap, during our chor--police game in Badaa-interval...).

We were quite clear about sincerity, honesty, etc... due to such 'live-examples'... And therefore, this 'transitional-society'... the set of 'transitional-generations' happened to give an immense and a very rare experience about 'dilution' of traditional values, where 'reverence' to a teacher had to become turned into a 'show of respect' too!
Unquote:

Shortly yours,
psn (13th November, 2014)

Automation, at our mind's service..

A very dear friend of mine emailed to tell me that “"quite admirable, that you go through details like this." (the details were not much--- it was just doing something additional, and also related to the basic information I receive... For instance, when somebody gives us his phone number, it is handy to look up the address that is 'attached' to this information.... For that, we need to pre-attach an information a little earlier in our memory that, the moment we look at a landline phone number, it should 'also occur' to us that this number belongs to a Government owned service provider.. Now it is easier to hunt for address from a directory-search... This saves the hassles for the other person to respond to our 'yet another query' about his location... Further, 'if and when' we might try to call on him, we can get somewhere-closeby to that location, and then 'mention the large landmarks right before us.. the other can now 'very-briefly' tell us how to reach his place! In a way, it is respecting the other person's time, mind-time, etc apart from a reverence for him as another being! Traits like this, contribute immensely towards a spiritual growth, when it 'fine-tunes' our attitude, which in turn keeps the negative-emotions a little subdued!

When I looked back, before responding to this 'remark'... (again, a default kind of function, that looking back for a credible experiential-information..) my thoughts ran thus : “I guess, it becomes more or less like a 'default-functioning'... some kind of automation, I devised of my own, right during childhood, when I saw that 'focusing' too much on repetitive routine takes away the mind's attention too much, I would 'free-up' the mind to relax while I am able to 'automate the routine functions' ... It is not at all something new.. actually it is an in-built ability... Most people apply brakes 'without too much of conscious thinking, once they find themselves to be a 'good' driver at safety... And yet, maneuvering requires great attention, since the bottlenecks ahead do not have any 'repetitive pattern'.. they are similar in style (with clothing, we have similar designs with different pattern! Mem-saabs know this well where as 'not-so-alert' husbands gape, when she announces "you have repeated that saree, see, it is so similar!'... and bouts of arguments ensue...!).

I had no way to actually 'measure' if I have 'adequately' automated myself The whole thing is about proper-assessment, about a repetitive job, the risk of automating it (like, a cashier who learns to 'mechanically' apply keys to lock a safe, is going to pay with lot of uncertainty-tension, restlessness, and stress, if he is in doubt, about 'really' applied the keys... I have experience, of having such a doubt, and I recall having 'done' it, but the doubt was, whether the memory belongs to 'today's locking or was it a replay of yesterday's act?' ..)..

Somebody used to come to my bachelor-room to learn working-English... It was night and the power went off.. Pitch dark. In less than 5 seconds, I lit a match stick, and using that flame-light, picked a candle.. That 'somebody' was amazed! He asked, "how did you manage to place your palm 'exactly' on the match box?".. I said, 'two things... I was quite close to its reach.. More importantly, for the past several years, the match box, its place, its style of placing, the way it opens, when picked, without fumbling for its casing to face upwards, the end of the stick that is to be finger-held, instead of that strike-head, etc.. are consciously maintained undisturbed... the advantage is, my thought process is not disturbed too much... It came handy during dark, ... that trapeze artist who does the acrobatics up in the air, can do it even blind folded, with so many years of practice, if he had also learnt to trust himself!"

All this was fine, till that spiritual pursuit began to creep in with its functionalities, as a tool, to facilitate growth on a steady and on-going basis... This 'automation' often diluted the awareness (while alertness was already 'programmed' according to risk, and viability-factors)... There was a hearsay-story to indicate this: It seems once Buddha waved his arm the 'second' time, when there was no fly sitting on his nose, and he explained “the first time, I missed the awareness of that action”. The fly did not assist for an action-replay, to oblige Buddha for a live action.. the 'dry-run' succeeded instead of the 'preceding-style' by those sleeper-cells! Sleeper cells try to have several dry-runs, with the same objective, but with different purpose---they do not trust their own 'diverging-nature of mind'! It would lose its attentiveness-towards purpose, if there is any distraction which makes them apprehensive to their 'varieties of reactionary type of intense emotion-potentials'.... usually, fear-based!

So, I had to 'reprogram' myself, to consciously choose to do those routine things, in conscious-style too... to keep that awareness, within the 'conscious-choice' levels.. The benefits were immense.. Even those 'automated' response-and-act-patterns got innovated further... and of course, needing a re-doing of the automation-program!

I guess, some of us here would be interested in this 'possibility' .. at least to take care of age-related problems of forgetfulness!

Automatically yours,

psn (9th November, 2014) 

Bakwaas

The meaning is itself, about meaninglessness of something else... usually about words, statements or actions, efforts etc...

Somehow, this word did not manage to get into my 'active-vocabulary' though I get to hear it quite often... (when the conversation is in Hindi, usually)... Maybe because, I was a bit apprehensive about my own inattentiveness, that might dismiss a 'phenomenon' happening on the outside, (my mind being the 'inside-world' for me!). Often, we miss the subtle point, and casually dismiss something as 'useless, meaningless, futile, non-consequential.. etc'... Even when I see/hear somebody dismissing something as 'bakwaas', my attentiveness gets alerted to look for what exactly made that person say so?.. If that person is right, his analysis helps me... his 'experience of something' is worthwhile using for my own future dealing (for instance, somebody bought a gadget, say a mobile... which turned out to be a 'bakwaas' for him... I try to see, if he has realised that it is a 'touch-screen-operation' and therefore it has not too many buttons!... When I saw the 'proof' of Euclid's theorem, in a book called Vedic mathematics, the author remarked about the 'prescribed-proof-at-school' as “ultra-notorious for its cumbrousness, clumsiness, etc.. there are several vedic proofs thereof (everyone of them much simpler than Euclid's)”.....!

( http://www.cut-the-knot.org/pythagoras/Proof1.shtml

and...

http://www.scribd.com/doc/16217568/Proof-of-Pythagoras-Theorem-Using-Vedic-Mathematics )..

and yet, I did not feel tempted to dismiss either of them as 'bakwaas'!

About spiritual concepts, almost all of them seem to be 'bakwaas' to a mind which insists on being riveted 'only-on' logical analysis , and prepared to look through only-sensory levels of perception! (A typical example was... I used to draw a 'blank' to this query that I ask of those professionals, who oversee the 'initiation' and perhaps also teach, the “ow to do the routine rituals once a person wears that holy-thread”... I used to ask, “Why is it that what ever actions 'they' do, just-because a person wears that thread, does not allow an experience through perception?... We eat, and we experience a hunger-satiation.. we drink water, and can feel a thirst being quenched.. but these rituals.. they leave no residual-experience?”... I do not like to embarrass with questions like, “When we pray, looking at a deity-idol, does He hear? Or is it just a 'missed-call'?”... There are people who co-relate with some personal experiences, which do look like a 'bakwaas' for non-believers... But this 'threading-business' only deals with 'ritualistic-performance' and seldom finds scope to co-relate with any 'miracle', usually... The chants might give some psychological-peace of mind... but, very few 'claim' a 'tangible result'... And yet, these rituals have stood the test of time! Good enough a reason, if we care to examine it as something beyond a 'bakwaas'! I do not 'chase' for an answer ('rozi-roti ka sawaal hai' for that hapless priestly-person!)...

On a forum (speaking tree), I had a chance to look 'yet again' at my-bakwaas, when somebody repeated this chant of 'bakwaas'!

And, all I could manage was to provide a few varieties of Bakwaas.. I was surprised, when it found 'some-appeal'...! And therefore I thought why not 'broadcast that bakwaas'!

Quote:

Bakwaas varieties...
(Imaginary samples)

1. A kid wakes up, looks into a 3D visual through a 3D glasses, pre-fitted on to him, while he was in deep sleep... and 'experiences' those visuals as 'his real experiences' and exclaims “What you say is Bakwaas... I am in deep trouble right now.. no escape in sight... If you can't come to rescue, just shut-up dad, and le'me deal it as best as I can”...
2. The Dad... takes a look at the screen... only blurred images... does not even realise, the screen needs a 3D lens to view... says, 'Bakwaas,... where is the image even? First of all, to get 'afraided-so-much' ?.. why are you afraiding looking at such distorted images?' (for him even the 2D is blurred!
3. The mom... takes a look at both, the dad and the kid.. “Bakwaas.. neither the 3D experience , nor the time spent to criticise it at '2D' level itself.. is going to cook the breakfast... Hunger is real.. need is food... No vegetables in our 'mortury-ice-box'... err... I mean... Re-Fridge-rator...whatever... Get the veg soon!
4. Some lean fragile fellow sitting eyes closed in a corner.. “Bakwaas.. who said, intake through mouth is the 'reality' to feed that hunger?... Here I am, replicating the ancients.. doing a complex combination of mudras+kriyas... the pituitary glands secreting a unique kind of substance.. and it permeates into my body, and absorbs nutients like that cactus in a dry sandy desert!”
5. “Bakwaas” says that 'ghost'... hanging somewhere near the ceiling... “all these guys are wasting the time, just as I too did... and now repenting , hanging half way! Engaged too much into wordly material things... neglecting the 'being' within”
6. Et-cet-tra... Etcetera... (Oh! Etc itself means 'further-bakwaas)!!!

unquote...

Bakwaas-ingly-yours,

psn (3rd November, 2014)