Idiot

 Idiot

Recent _most occasion for me to be addressed thus, was just within the two days 😜

Quote

"🇮🇳 (Mr X, ) 🇮🇳 commented on your Koo

Ok, that proves it, you are an idiot. Gandhi was a British stooge, sent to Bharat to hijack independence and to destroy Sanatan Dharm. You missed the entire lesson taught by Krisha, one must fight for Dharm. You are truly stupid. I feel sorry for you and your family. Retired? So you are older... how sad that you gained no wisdom. There is still time. Meditate."

How do we handle such titles, when addressed to us ?

I didn't know, how to !

I noticed that I was the kid who was called most number of times by elders around me, till I reached the age of 22. 

Age wasn't the reason, for ceasing to call me so…. I became financially self dependent ( a job, and a salary 🙏😉). Pathetic reason to stop calling a close relative " you are an idiot"

Early kid age, there was a versatility in calling me using all available synonyms of "idiot"... ( the mix of Malayalam & Tamil provides a wide spectrum of such words, synonymous with "buddhoo")

I didn't know how to handle this attribute 😳

They wouldn't explain why ( I am an idiot).

I had to figure it out by myself 🙏… can a mentally ill patient figure it rby himself, once he has become a acute one? ( it is here, I got one small clue🙏…. That doctor tells his relatives, not the patient, that the patient is mad😜… no use telling the patient, because he won't agree😂

Whereas, an idiot has some chance….he isn't mentally ill. Just an inadequacy of common sense, that's all.

I started looking within. Not much help. I couldn't understand what was so_idiotic in me? 

Then, when left with no other option, I started looking at the people who called me an idiot often.. …. A pattern emerged😂.

Numerous reasons…..

1. they had the right to call me so, as elders (1955-60 era.. respect for elders was by default, irrespective of deserving it😉)

2. they didn't know any other way of reassuring themselves of their relevance 😜 ( most of them, miserably poor in academics, and unemployed)

3. my dad wasn't too protective for me, and being the eldest of eldest born, I was their earliest punching bag for practice, without any risk of retaliation 😂

4. A unanimity got forged amongst them, when they conversed about_me, and found that I was very uniformily asking all of them only stupid questions 🙏 ( like, " when we trust God to be omniscient, why do devotees shout_out their request at the temple, as if God ji has turned a little deaf, of late?... why do we have to ASK, instead of trusting God ji to know by himself?. ".... and " can we not reach God at the accident site itself for help? We can't reach temple, if disabled/injured. He is supposed to be everywhere.")

5. Etc

For sure, the majority rule didn't seem to work, ( majority opinion).

A few who didn't call me an idiot, were a little more patient that the others. 

Now, I improvised my data collection. I started looking for "what persuaded them to call me an idiot"😜…. Mostly, it was a convenient replacement for an embarrassing truth " I dont know " …

When I was thoroughly convinced about the reasons, using the scientific concept of "element of repititiousness, to theorise a postulate, to ensure a pattern", I reduced asking them irritating questions, and decided to seek answers by myself 🙏 ( today, I seek irritating questions, but from an eager –not egoistic— mind, keen to learn )

My next problem was a natural consequence 😂

How to handle appreciation?...

For me, this was a more vulnerable issue. I might grow horns 🤘😈. Then, I might stagnate 😭

Usually, the person who appreciates me, explains his perspective. And I get a chance to pass on the credits to due person, because of whom, I became a mere tool, and not the doer of that appreciable act, word, or thought. If I don't find a tenable reason either from the other, or by my own search, I simply disown it, just as I dismiss the title "idiot".😂… 

It is easier to locate the error in me, when I am called an idiot, than knowing the reason for a generous appreciation. Reason is simple. Idiot is a title, I can earn by myself, but appreciation is the combined efforts of many who toiled to evolve me🙏😰… 

When the appreciation or depreciation is about an abstract quality by nature, it is usually a perceptional ability or lack of it. Such perceptional ability or lack of it could be a common social problem. ( reasons are physiological. Thoughts, of the society as a whole, used to be non_commercial 5 centuries ago, compared to today. Almost all the thoughts can be traced to some kind of commercial value today. Such lopsided mind's can err in a collective pattern when it is about an attribute like intelligence/idiocy etc.)

Anyway, I have started enjoying, being called an idiot once in a way. I am by now, good at faster analysis and instant + dependable results, about the justification of my being called so 🙏

Appreciation for what I consider as my efforts, and accomplishments, comes only in a very mystic and shrouded manner, of late. And I am full of gratitude for that manner of acknowledgement 🙏. Commercial appreciation doesn't stir me 🙏.

Idiotically yours,

PSN (17 sept 2023)