Unjustified Tolerance levels of Women

At the very outset, I will have to mention a few disclosures, which may sound like 'disclaimers'. But, in experience, they may end up as a claim, that this is going to be so!

There is a great emotional turbulence, which started a few decades ago, and is now getting manifested in several ways. Most unpredictable ways. It seems to challenge the very future of our social 'set-up' to which we are 'used to' .... in the sense that, we are being forced out of our psychological 'comfort-zones'. Emotional stability is the main foundation stone of that psychological comfort-zone.

The 'relationships' or the bonds (the family-bonds) in any present day family, seems to hang precariously on the emotional well-being of a woman of that family. And when that very 'woman of the house' gets shaken badly as a class, it causes a worry, a fear, a concern in the collective minds of the society as a whole. What gets discussed is just the residue of after-effects, not even the results of the effects. That is why, discussions on forums do not really seem to get us anywhere. In some communities, getting a suitable bride has become very difficult (there are girls, but not willing brides!). Young women, working women in particular seem to be suddenly required to face alone, the brunt of an unreliable society. The anxiety they carry is on all fronts. The biological problems have a long term adverse effect on them. A glance at the pattern of questions asked on an open forum where the individual identities can be safely withheld, evidences this level and pattern of anxiety. Somehow, “everybody's concern” is unable to come within the reach of a 'somebody' and nobody is able to do anything about it. Emotion related problems are indeed a very great priority. But they get eclipsed due to other materialistic problems, which occupies the mind's anxiety-tolerance capabilities, on a day-to-day basis! The irony is that unless we sincerely address the emotion related problems sensibly, handling of materialistic/logic-oriented problems of day to day life is far from reach.

In this back-drop, how far is a 'mind' going to pay any serious attention to a question which everybody can see to be so true in daily life, is in itself a sort of a disclaimer. 'No claimant' ready to seek an answer, makes a disclaimer redundant!

I felt an intense emotional desire to invite attention towards this wonderful question. And that is all my intention. The very 'drawing of attention' towards it is an ample reward. Let the mind of the reader seek an answer, not necessarily to feel inclined to accept mine. The 'thirst' will haunt that mind till it is quenched. All I seek to do is to remind that there is a latent but intense thirst within.

psn(16th June, 2011)


http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/answer?qid=20110616021852AAQNLeQ

Why women let everything go easily whether its injustice?
Lets discuss point to point:
They r being called and treated inferior but never raise voice against it.
Always taken granted for everything whether in laws home or mother's home.
Mindset tht she has to obey,bow down and do work of her husband especially cleaning shoes,arranging clothes etc.(these r only few egs).
One more inspite of knowing husband's pre or post affair they forgive them easily.
WHY ITS SO?

My answer:
This is a very deep question.
Unfortunately, it is also a very relevant question, for two reasons at least. 1. It is happening even today amidst "Indian" women 2.Even the concerned/affected/abnormally tolerant/illogically women do not seem to bother to 'explain' (or are unable to explain) why they continue to undergo such suffering.
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The answer is likely to take us deep into our culture, tradition etc. It requires an open mind, and patience to understand the 'why' (it does not mean or include that 'understanding' is 'accepting' the reasons as valid. It is just like the crime investigators try to find out the motive, with an open mind, so that the deep hidden motives gets discovered, and superficial motives do not become innocent victims of circumstances!).
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Women by nature (as a gift from mother nature), are inclined emotionally/intuitively than their counterpart, the males. Emotions do not obey logic. Emotions give disproportionate strength of endurance (for example, a good soldier if emotionally very patriotic, will defy logic, baffle medical scientists, when that soldier continues to fight bravely till the very last breath, despite being fatally wounded by bullets at several places. Indian soldiers are a bit famous for this since ancient times.). Now , in a country where a male is so strong emotionally, what about the woman who gives birth to such brave sons!
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This physiological potential and capability was well recognised by highly evolved spiritual masters of ancient times (they were in abundant number in ancient India). They wove it into the fabric of society, for a much higher purpose, spirituality. Spirituality demands tremendous amount of patience and tolerance levels. "Breaking point" is at the highest level of severity on spiritual path. The people were evolved, capable of immense trust in these spiritual masters. That is why they accepted and adopted certain standards as 'rules of life' , 'way of life' (this way of life later came to be known by the name "Hinduism". This "hinduism" still later came to be known as a 'religion', though it does not fulfil any norm of all other known religions of the world. There is no single God, no authority to convert/reconvert, no uniform pattern of prayer, temple visit, no specific prescriptions, etc. Even the bulk of ancient texts are addressed to "individuals" and not to "group of followers" as in other religions. Perhaps, only one ancient book addresses to various classes... the Manusmriti.).
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For evidence , we can take a look at the traditions, or the residual of traditions, which we follow a bit blindly, even today. We call the offering of bride as "Kanya-daan" or a charity (as if that bride is some cow or donkey, to be used by the receiver of charity, and the receiver is treated as a proxy for lord 'Vishnu' ... a God-like-status. ). There are several rituals, which logically seem utterly stupid. That is why, there is a clear divide now. Those women who are logically trained (thanks to the high-tech literacy-education made available in cities, today), are the first to revolt against these traditions. They choose to fight this injustice of differential treatment to women. Very true, it is indeed a gross injustice, if the very purpose is not going to be fulfilled.
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The question is relevant because, even some of the most educated women quietly bear the brunt at home front. To know the reason for this, the enquiry can be in two ways. 1.The commonly known way is with a scientific temper, using evolved logical skills. We have to look at physiological aspects where the genes carry certain pattern of response-behaviour to certain situations. We have to look at the transitional phase of social scenario, where the precedent creating/ or case-history-creating women do not really seem to have achieved any emotional benefit out of such revolt. Divorces do not seem to take them anywhere, make their lives any better, other than the consolation that they decided to come out of such 'needless' torture. 2. The less common way, but a sustaining, and more satisfying way is to walk down the same path, which the ancient spiritual masters did, and step into their way of looking, thinking, and try to find out IF they have happened to sow the seeds of such tolerance irretrieveably into the genes that would be handed down the generations. The presumption here, for trying to look at such a possibility is that, any evolved being would attempt to perpetuate the work of great value, also taking into consideration, the possibility that "corruption" of minds at a future date, by the future generations might erode the values. In which case, they prefer to seek insurance policies from genes, which are a bit incorruptible at micro level!
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Already the answer is painstakingly long. :)