Negativity, a misnomer sometimes.

The other day, I received a response from a friend of mine, to my blog regarding “Dealing with negative attitude at workplace”.

There in, there was an instance quoted which looked like a misnomer about negativity. I wrote back to clarify, that the instance was not necessarily a case of negative attitude, but just a wrong view due to a wrong positioning of the mind at that point of time. Something like, we see the movie a bit differently viewing it from the wrong side of the screen! (In villages, with that humble single projector, and a white cloth, people see the screening gathering on both the sides of the screen in that open-air theatre or just the barren field!). It so happened that I had an occasion to discus the different aspects of mind, which are virtual 'centers' (so named for easy identification of pattern of pre-judices and the resultant stands taken up by the mind, over a period of time... if neglected, this pattern of prejudice could become an attitude too, like the simple cold if neglected becoming a pneumonia or so :) ....)

Anyway, it may not help to mention the entire exchange of our mails here. But if somebody were to see the present question and answer together with that blog, it is possible to note that subtle difference, where we mistake somebody, trying to 'read' an attitude in them, because of a pre-judgement, or a pre-judice within us(again, not a negativity within us, but maybe, just a sort of conditioning in us), which prevents us to try to look beyond, and see other possibilities too. If we can open up a little more, it would enhance our communication skills a lot more! Understanding the other person correctly.... or.... to be more specific, to grasp them, the way they think, affords a better reach to the other person. It may not happen every time, but with persistence, over a period of time, we do evolve. “Reaching the mind of the asker” is the popular way of stating this phenomenon. The asker, I presumed , must have felt that the impression may be wrong about the other person, and that is why the question. Unless some other possibility could be 'seen' the mind seeks consolation from its own prejudice that may be the other person thinks that 'I'm a stupid', and that is why this “attitude” towards 'me'! Without this 'other possibility' there is no convincing ourselves about our own 'wrong center of mind' (that prejudice/preconclusion), and we deal with the other person, thinking that they look at us as a stupid!

Children, happen to invoke their 'lateral' thinking ability or creativity, at times, by mere reason of the absence of a prejudice ... prejudice is yet to grow within them. For example, the father imposes a condition to the kid “Okay, I shall take along for shopping, but you should not ask me to buy anything there, for you .... no request like...'please dad... buy me this thing, that thing...' etc”. The kid agrees, and at the shop, he quietly reminds the dad, “Dad, you know I like red colour a lot” and gives a broad smile! (As if, the dad does not know at all, the kid's color of liking! ). The dad too, would chuckle, and at least in appreciation of this kid's resourcefulness, buy that red coloured item, relaxing the stiff condition. Here, the dad need not feel that the kid is looking at the dad as a stupid-dad. He is just complying the condition that he should not “ask” for anything to be bought, but diplomatically puts the request with a reminder about just that most-liked-color, which is also there now in that show-case in that shop!

The question and the answer, by itself, does not signify any big concept, but as an instance it helps to further clarify the 'negativity' with an instance of an exception(like this one)!

psn(21^st June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110621070254AAwmidV

Why do I feel like they think I'm stupid because they say....?

for example I asked a lady what her name was to check out her book at the library and she said "Sabrina S-a-b-r-i-n-a"
I know how to spell Sabrina! One of the easiest names to spell!

I am part of a very rare syndrome group in two places online. Anyway one gal said "I'm Chris' mom I'm remarried that's why my name is different from his"

Isn't it common sense and unspoken that she is remarried hence the difference in last names?! Why did she have to state the obvious?

Again why do I feel like they think I'm stupid when they said the above?

My answer:

In both these cases, the possibility could be also that, they are trying to get your attention towards their names. May be they find it as yet another harmless (non controversial) way to draw a little more attention to their names. People feel more secure and happy when others remember them plus their names!