When two people collide on the road on their vehicles, whether it is their physical body as their vehicle, or any man-made vehicle, the very first impulsive reaction is “the other fellow is at fault”.
Nothing new about it….
But something that looks new to us can happen if we get rid of this “default” tendency to find fault only about others. It is not about ‘fixing’ accountability. It is about finding scope for our response ability about such ‘avoidable’ situations. The whole edifice of that ‘wisdom’ consists of using the ‘experience’ (no matter whose it is!).
It is in that spirit that I seek to humbly place this wonderful question.
The answer only seeks to inspire you to seek further, as usual.
Regards,
Psn(12th August, 2010)
http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100811124848AA8jXfw
how do u help ppl save face without diminishing your own power?
No matter how wrong another person is,s/he will always hv an excuse for their bad behaviour. i understand that they'll realise the mistake at their own pace.
My answer:
That is how enactments take place!
And most people miss to take notice of the significance of the very opening words "Whereas it is expedient ..... "
It is a beautiful way to help people save face. It does not diminish the 'power' of the legislator.
In joint families, the wise elder uses the same method conveniently, to gently, suggestively correct the erring young children, so that their ego is not hurt, and they get the time-space to grasp the significance of occasional enactments of rules within that large household! Please see, the very root cause of break-down of that joint-family system was the very same reason that you pointed out in the additional narrative part of the question (the tendency to justify any and every action!).
No amount of practices done to evolve on the spiritual path would make any worthwhile progress unless this attitude is rectified at first!
It is a real challenge, indeed, to help people who refuse to 'see' that they are wrong! It is still more difficult to retain our own strength (I would prefer to call it 'strength' rather than our 'own power'). Evidence is found in abundance! A negligible percentage of people who evolve, choose to even announce, or manifest it. Out of that only a very small percentage take up that thankless task of imparting skill or knowledge to help others. Such people are embodiments or personification itself of highest form of compassion! (That accounts for the diminishing number of teachers who can train in 'emotional aspect of mind', in the present day context, while there were many teachers in the ancient days because the 'general or average' level in the society was good enough to work upon further!
A very significant question. Whether the answer appeals or not, whether a solution is found or not, it is more important to 'retain' the question within oneself, with an open mind!
Thank you, for this question!
2 comments:
The Universe has its own way of correcting erroneous behavior. Better if one learns fast and corrects herself/himself as early as possible. The slower one is in adjusting to the pressures, greater is the suffering s/he has to undergo. Quite often, 'saving face' is much easier in the earlier stages and the more one delays, more and more difficult it becomes. Yet it is to be remarked that the person who is out to correct another wo/man's behavior must be graceful enough and large-hearted enough to ensure that the main motive of attempting the correction is not, i repeat, NOT to make the other feel small, but rather one of ensuring a proper order of things.
sir please explain when a person is hurt even a compassion is also aggrevating their mind, thus the one who wants to help the other goes very weak and i dont know how to manage the situation nd withstand to it.i feel some times inaction is seems to be more compassionate one for the environment.
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