Our Gestures!

A keen pair of eyes were sharply focused, waiting to see if there is a speck, a glimpse, or a spark of life in that body... It was a 'look out for a gesture'! That body, hopefully still holding some 'life' was 'all-for-gestures' and with a pair of eyes, having an admirable focus, enviable perhaps even by those that were now waiting too see that speck of life!

Some where in between language struggles to make a distinction, that it is 'really' a gesture too, but in a very 'round-about-way'!... And we create a separate folder called 'articulation' and store it there, for future comparison and ofcourse our own way of 'judgements'. This articulation, we usually respond with a 'like'.. and the response is a gesture of a smile or a click (safe enough, and it is not going to be subjected to further adjudication!).

I happen to recollect a reverse-situation... It was during a train journey... An 'anxious' pair of eyes were 'keenly' focused (wishing that this keenness would be needed to last too long), through a 'some' body sitting right across me, on the other side.. .. A 'gesture' now... I thought, that needs to be calmed down, if I am to breath freely the gush of air forcing its entry through my nostrils, with all the contents that come along, unwillingly even, when it was a furiously racing train that trained its speed on the air in that desolate track.

I said, “Sir, I respect your right to keep staring at me!”... He blinked! He widened his eyes, to clearly gesture that he never heard of any such rights! Nor did I hear about it ever before! It just occurred to me, that is all!..

I thought let me correct myself... and I further ventured... “Sir, may be it is your freedom to stare at me, since eyes have a choice of visibility!”... It was a foolish attempt... ! He only further widened his gaze, with a gesture that perhaps meant “Now, what was that?... the freedom, when there was no 'independence struggle' that I can recollect about?”...

“Sir, actually, even I am confused, about the difference between a freedom and a right... When others notice and still we get away, may be it is a right (law-enforced), and when no body is there to notice, it might be almost like a 'freedom'... Or.. maybe, some other word, other than freedom and right, allows you to stare at me, but 'freely-ofcourse'!”

Now, I thought, it is better to wait for some 'articulated-gesture'...

But, luck wouldn't favor me , for sure, ... I knew...! I had a 'big-mouth' friend beside me, who butted in with, “Oh! Please do not mind him ... he doesn't have to look for something to start a conversation!.. It just pops out of him.. He is like that! (like what?, I wondered, if there was an 'alike' of me!)”..

It was a private conversation between my friend and me, that when somebody is 'forced' to sit opposite to us (seating arrangements are 'such'!), there is nothing else for the other to do except stare at the other fellow seated across to him... And 'clever' ones try to alternate this staring-business, like some 'mutual-benefit-scheme'!

(I would not venture to continue with 'further details here'... who knows, one of the readers might get help from this 'incident' to nail me, .. despite the changes in the contours of my face that nature has blessed me as a camouflage!)..

It is 'gestures'... that fascinated me... And I could not avoid reference to the 'frankness' of animals, about their 'predictable-gestures' (I don't think they are 'exactly-honest' about it... and so 'frankness', a lesser harmful word! Bah! This 'honesty' is so trouble-mongering one, when gestures are usually honest, and it is articulation that provides our much-needed-camouflage!).. It is not for 'nothing' that people talk about percentages of 'body-language' that gives-us-away!.. Gives us away? To whom?... Oh! It is just that the secret is out!... But what about 'nothing'? Dunno!

When it came to 'spirituality', my mind started looking ... and this time, 'By-Default'.. for any gestures that it would make, ... at least a tell-tale-evidence... that this spirit within is really 'keen about spirituality'..! But the teacher keeps insisting that all that this spirit does is to 'stare' (they use a rather-tough word, 'saakshi-bhaav'.. , 'witnessing-aspect-within'.. etc!).. And the 'expectation' is that 'we' somehow 'manage' to ensure that this staring-fellow becomes such that it becomes 'our-awareness'... and all this 'circus', right within! The 'gestures' that they call as tools and techniques, whether with some crazy-like-movement (aasanaas/pranayam, clipping the nose, entwining the limbs in a great discomforting-way,... etc), or even that crazy-non-movement, sitting at a place like an idiot, eyes closed, and doing 'nothing' and they call it 'a meditation'... and as if, this meditation is not a confusion-enough, the explanation is 'it is a dynamic state of non-doing'... Dynamics is physics, but why here ?... We too can rebut with a phrase, which we know for sure that nobody knows fully-about-it, as yet... the dynamics of 'quantum-entanglement-theory'.. but that was not our purpose.. we were so 'innocently' and humbly trying to 'catch-hold' of that 'gesture by our-own-dear-spirit'!!!! (bah! Again that non-existent-nothing!... space or vacuum is not 'nothing'!).. Even these variations of 'gestures' do not seem to really bother that spirit staring at us clandestinely! Now what? (this 'what' is the most bothersome 'gesture' by our mind, when it does not find any other mind around, to mind, and unto ourselves.. err.. 'it-self'... okay 'what'-ever!)

The scare now is that , it (that spirit) would 'wake' up and start blinking (only a 'maybe so'!) when it cannot be contained any more within this frame work that does all the hectic gestures (snoring included please!)... But now it is a sort of 'revenge' by this body! 'Seek' another dumb body now!, says the box or that fire, ... (whatever)!.. But thereafter it is another 'story' not connected with our 'real-istic' gestures here!

Some where, these gestures of ours inter-mingle ... (my guess of course)..

Justly, Just a Jest of a gest-ure,

yours,

psn (11th December, 2014)