Assertion

One of the sources of quarrel.... if we look keenly enough!

'Your freedom ends where my nose begins'... this quote presents no problem in understanding, appreciating, and even enjoying...

But the inclination to assert, seems to start encroaching into the freedom of the other, even when it is just sprouting with us! The very 'look' .... evokes 'look at the way he looks at us!' (quite forgetful of we too , at the same time, are looking almost in a similar way!

Two children were quarreling rather 'peacefully' , just shouting at each other, calling 'names'....

'You are a monkey'....... 'y-o-u are a donkey!' 'youuu are (this)'..... Yyyyyoooouuu are (that)'...

Thus, they had almost reached the end of their 'general knowledge' about animal kingdom....!

Their dad, who was busy, in 'trying' to get ready for going to office, found this wordy exchange a bit intolerable... He suddenly intervened, to shout: “Both of you are so intensely calling each other names! You both seem to be ignoring me totally, while doing so”.... (little did he realise, that the children would look at his assertion only this way: 'If you two can be animals, what about me your parent? A larger sample of the same animal 'series'!'

..

The eagerness to share a deep experience is natural.... Perhaps that is how the need for a language was felt when gestures (gesticulation) was felt inadequate.... The skill of articulation slowly took over... only to hand it over to absentee-form of communication, when a larger reach was felt needed.

..

The next part of that 'eagerness' which gives rise to a curiosity.... 'whether the other person understood it properly' also seems a bit natural.... The problem, is with, what that 'properly' is... When two kids of about 3 to 4 years of age exchange, to share their experience, the communication seems flawless, both nod their heads (which ever way it suits them at that moment), and the other one does not protest... The assertion is not too keen to seek any official seal of approval beyond some movement of head.. a very casual acknowledgement.. An elder who is watching this is baffled, because this elder has understood neither of these two kids! Please see, it is difficult to make out the 'nod of head' by these kids many a times.... a vertical nod is 'yes' we tell them... a horizontal nod is 'no'... but they invariably rotate that head in a circular direction, like that stone-pestle we use to wet-grind the cereals for idli-dosa etc....!!!

..

The greatest shock, (and later on that shock became an awe, admiration, reverence) , was when I heard for the first time that the great philosopher Shri J.Krishnamurti, used to ask, 'Did you understand .... Sir...' ... a gentle pause, waiting to look at that positive nod , tilting of heads side-ways (as 'evolved' adults to notify a 'yes'!).... And then when people say 'yes' quite articulately, our JK says, 'Now, I have to go all over it again!' (I found it quite difficult to grasp at that kid-age as to why a 'yes' means 'no'!... Any way, I felt no urgency to say yes, at that age, when I started keenly looking at everything this Great Being had to say!). Yes... spiritual people are helplessly 'mystic' at the bare-minimum level at least (our JK never strove to forcibly or forcefully, convince any one about anything ... ever... he never 'claimed' any capabilities like those siddi's etc... He was utterly humble and gentle in trying to appeal to others to 'look-together'... not an easy task, and I know it reasonably well from experience as well!).....

..

If JK can keep assertion at such mild doses, there is no reason why we cannot try as well.....

..

A strong inclination to assert too much evokes that repulsiveness(in the other) even before that other person happens to know about it.... almost like that 'spontaneous' and abrupt vomiting, giving no time to reach a wash-basin or such 'decent' place to dispose off the 'indecent' stuff!.... that repulsiveness, manifests as a mild 'growl'... a critical response.... we growl back, and now it is a quarrel... the rest is well known! (Let me squeeze in a mild joke here, if nothing else, at least to avoid any unintended vomit-sensation right now..... I read this joke in Readers Digest some time ago.. it was in first person by the mother herself... This mother sternly asked her son to 'Sit down..... NOW... THIS INSTANT...'... that helpless kid obliged, but not without a counter-assertion “But, inside, I am still standing”... the mother burst out laughing, at her own failure!)

..

Well, I am not too keen to even assert about this 'assertion'... you know by now, why :)

regards,

psn(2^nd May, 2012)