Prayer

Right from early childhood, elders around me attempted to teach me to pray (worship was a monopoly of designated priests, who worship, and then make it easier for us to pray/ask). They even told me what to ask for, when praying to the various Gods in the temples around. The funny mind that I carried, I seldom failed to ask the name of the deity in each temple, and the volley of questions included what type of prayers we could offer to that particular deity. My humble idea was that in case that deity did not specialize in the thing that I asked for, that God or Goddess would be needlessly embarrassed (so I thought!). It could also be that there would be a mutual memorandum of Understanding that they would not encroach into each other’s portfolio.

As I grew a bit more, it then occurred to me that all these Gods had a ‘complete’ data base of events that had occurred and was yet to happen. Then, what is the point in my asking for something? More importantly I liked to know, whether these Gods really require to be ‘told’ what we needed? Because it conflicted with our understanding that Gods are omniscient, in addition to being omnipotent and omnipresent.

The stories of faulty prayers scared me. Some body mis-pronounced ‘Nir-deva-twam’ (‘let there be no competition’ from lower powers), while asking for a boon, to the highest One, and in a hurry asked for ‘Nidrey-va-twam’ (sleepiness). It was granted instantly. The asker of this prayer had to compromise with 6 months of deep sleep every year! I now thought of a bug-free prayer, and chose to accept traditional forms. Even they were in large variety.

The best one seemed to be in a story where a begger turns a negotiator, and makes a proposal that the Other One could not refuse (God-Father movie style)! He told (not asked), “O’ God, by myself, I do not covet for any thing, but let not people call me, your best devotee, a person who is in ‘want’ all the time”. This seemed like a life-time tax payment. No hassles thereafter. Now, it is the botheration of the Other One to worry eternally to keep us above wants. But then, later, it occurred to me ‘What if the Great One feels insulted that we had to ask Him, what we need, for him to really gain knowledge about it?” This is something that He would never disclose to the ‘concerned’ person. One has to be fortunate to deduce from experience that we just never happen to get what we ask, and instead, we get what we did not bargain for. A very inconvenient thing…..

Trust had to step in now. All we can do is to go to him (when we feel a bit run out of battery, not for anything else), and stand before Him. Hand over ourselves completely (any way, that is our ‘status’ even otherwise, at all times). If possible, listen with rapt attention, alertness, awareness, and an empty mind. If there is any communication that is worth while, it has to be only from Him, not from us to Him. If we are eligible, we may get to hear or feel it. Otherwise, out of trust, quietly leave the place, with the confidence that only some benefit could have accrued, which we are yet to know about.

Some how, I feel quite contended with this position, even if the bulk of the people around insist on a loud ‘presentation’ of their charter of demands. Clearly, I am not in their way. Trust works for me. And when I could later see that most of the enlightenments happened in places other than places of worship (not just prayer/asking places), it seemed to embolden my inclination to avoid adding to the crowd at ‘popular’ shrines.

Please tell me if I have been on the negative side of the ‘growth’ with these flawed concept, or is it that I am ‘grooved’ into being ‘pray full’, instead of a concerted effort at a prayer .
Regards,
Psn (27th February, 2010)