Sense of discretion.

The ‘Speculative’ sense within me tries to warn that by the time they reach the end of this blog, the few of those who have some trust left in them about me, would be rid of it.
It is in their sense of discretion, to refrain from any kind of response, that seems to tempt me into that ‘sense of indulgence’, which in turn, ‘funds’ the motivation to venture thus.

Most children grow up amidst all kinds of ‘hero-worship-spells’. This is not really a time-tested maxim, though quite valid in its applicability in the present day context! In olden times, the son of a potter, carpenter, farmer, cobbler, black/gold smith becomes yet another one, more out of compulsions of situation rather than that fall out of a ‘hero worship’. Not so, today. The nearest, that I came to the phase of hero-worship was, when I heard of a driver of a double-decker bus, called ‘Robert’ who was famed to handle the bus ‘hands-free’ for the entire strip of that straight road ‘tank-bund’ along a large lake, broad, almost desolate then, to further make his ‘feat’ noticeable by lighting up a cigarette, and finishing it to the very last puff! That huge bus was a live monster, which drove all other vehicles to a safe halt towards road side (that was how I looked at the bus), and he was a hero to be able to tame it and even handle it ‘hands-free’!
Somehow, I happened to pick the hub of the activity when kids around me were passing through such spell, and therefore, I just had to watch others, when they were at it. The family had a lot of bearing on what kind hero-worship a kid would try to indulge in. This phase does leave a ‘residue’ which would affect the basic trait and the attitude in a very subtle way for the rest of their lives, though there may be no ‘superficial’ trace of any imprint left.
That ‘watching-phase’ of mine, was not entirely without any kind of residue. Rather, it left behind, a serious problem that manifests itself at all levels of perception (tangible, intangible, conscious, unconscious etc). There started my unending duel with this ‘sense of discretion’. For instance, when it came to my query about ‘what is right, what is wrong, correct/incorrect, good/bad, ethical/unethical, etc’, I received an advice to be ‘also’ guided by a thumb rule, “Time and situation would decide what is correct/right and what is wrong”. So, my attempt to evolve into a better ability to judge got punctuated by this shifting goal-post!
While I was wondering if that supreme resolve of supreme self-sacrifice was the ‘ultimate’ in hero-worship-ism, there came a small proverb “Discretion is the better part of valour”. So, the mere control over fear of death, the laying down of one’s life for a great cause, the ability to stun the adversary by that logic-defying-feat of attempting the ‘mission-impossible’ , etc, by itself does not glorify a being beyond a point. Such bravery is accorded the highest of civilian honours, and yet it is an appreciation of a quality in its isolation, simple because it is a rare occurrence. It also highlights the fact that, in ancient times, when it comes to appreciation, the highest power of the land limits oneself to this quality of overcoming fear(the toughest of negative emotions, and the last to leave us), but when a person evolves even beyond that, this highest ‘authority’ merely submits himself, bowing down, with deep respect, instead of assuming the ‘power to confer appreciation’. There was a story that a legendary of recent times Mr.G.D.Naidu, got a wonderful ‘occasion’ to gently remind a University it own limitations, when he very politely requested to know as to who is going to ‘confer’ the honorary ‘Doctorate’ on him, when such proposal was floated, and a ‘feeler’ was ‘discreetly’ sent to him, through a very trusted emissary! The University, this time, realizing the true hidden worth of unanimity, decided to unanimously drop the proposal (not just that they decided ‘unanimously’ also, to drop the proposal!). Worth mentioning here, that mere literary expertise does not necessarily bestow the best of senses, the sense of discretion, On the other hand, the unlettered ones seem more comfortable in handling it where common sense matters. The discretion to confer appreciation runs into trouble at times, and only then, the need for a ‘judicious’ application seems to arise. The ancient Kings knew too well, their limitations, when it comes to trying to appreciate an evolved person like a sage/hermit etc! I am simply amazed observing that they even knew the ironical descending order of ‘conferring honors, appreciating honorably, acknowledging the honor, and meekly recognizing the honor, when it came to honoring a ‘realized soul’ when in they meekly submitted to the act of recognition, that too, when another similar soul happened to mention it, because, in their view, this non-materialistic subject-matter was a one of a ‘mutually exclusive’ matter between two of the same ranks!

As it is, this ‘discretion’ was good enough to maintain my confusion about it. Now this ‘judicious’ exercise of discretion, simply seems to compound the confusion! I don’t know if I have understood the concept right, if I tend to look at ‘discrete mathematics’ to be more finite than the abstract-ness of the word (discretion) itself in isolation (or am I a bit ‘indiscriminate’?).

There is no dearth of real life situations, where we confront the problem of right sense of applicability of this term, its concept. Only that, we are well insulated by the equal sense of confusion that exists in the other person, if at all there is any threat perception about criticism. It is here that I wonder how these professional-journalism-critics escape the scrutiny from ‘proper’ exercise of discretion when they end up as ‘king-makers’ through ‘virtual’ means and media!

Perhaps, a light reference to few situations would help restoring those ‘normal’ levels of discretion for those who might be pleading for a ‘status-quo’…..
1) Euthanasia is still debatable, while amputation is a settled issue. Judicious enough? Good discretion?
2) Only either of them can be saved, mother or the child, during child delivery-operation
3) Uphold justice by ‘exposing’ a person holding high office, or save the nation’s pride by hushing up the matter.
4) Remain famished with hunger or settle for that junk food which is prone to lead to health problems.
Oh! I hardly need to go any further. Our mind races to quote the very best hand picked situations from our own ‘private’ collections in our memory. And some of the yet to be decided issues too!

As for me, I am somewhat vaguely aware of the root cause of my own problem, when I looked at what ‘age or years of discretion’ means (quote: the age at which a person is considered to be able to manage his own affairs). Like a cashew-nut, it might be that my mind popped out a bit early not waiting for the fruit of ‘age’ to encase me!
Regards,
Psn(6th January, 2009)