I
would say it is fortunate, if people find themselves struggling to
forget some bad past that belongs to them! Now, when we say
fortunate, it is not about a 'feel-good-factor' like having won some
lottery ticket, or having received some appreciation, tags or so...
The suffering is now 'felt' quite intensely, and even a help or
consolation seems to be a hinderance or even a humiliation, at times!
...
The
fortunate part turns really-fortunate very soon, only if such a
person gets the right kind of support... from outside at least, if
the inside is not that stable to balance by itself!...
Our
ancient culture used to patronise certain type of people who
specialise in just this... to give the right kind of support, and
with which, the spiritual growth is phenomenal (as a contrast to the
slow, steady and structured growth!)... The story of 'angulimal'
from epics is a typical example... He was a dacoit who prided in
wearing the chopped thumbs of his innocent victims as a 'garland'(and
hence the name!)..
...
Anyway,
an asker appealed to me when I felt the 'genuine seeking'...
Why
not try to give some practical support I thought ....
And
then, why not find out if my words do carry any sense of appeal?
This
forum is the touchstone for me!
(Please
see, it is the needless and excessive overtones of that guilt, which
peg down a person into the abyss of negative emotions, quite
needlessly!... Nothing prevents us from turning even that initial
sense of guilt into a blessing-in-disguise... After all, we have
ample evidences where 'curses' are invoked to suit us in times of
distress as a blessing! (Arjuna invoked the curse to turn into a
'female' when it suited him best, to remain incognito!)
psn(18th
April, 2013)
quote:
How
do i forget past things?
I
have lived a life of bad problems. My mom was an alcoholic and as i
was growing up was, i was the only one who was physically abused. i
was the middle child. when i was 13 i was put in a situation where me
and my older brother had to kill two people. out of self defense.
although it was ruled as self defense at 19 i still have nightmares
about it. i watched the life leave someones eyes. ive done some
"bad:" things since and never felt guulty about doing it
until recently. im full of inarticulate rage. but a newly and rarely
a sense of guilt. i have become jaded and emotionless. i have morals
and have never hurt my family and have been nothing but good to them.
ive never hurt a woman. i broke up with my gf 3 months ago and i feel
that emotional numbness coming back. and that urge to beat people up
i think "deserve" it. i dont like it or the way i feel. i
know it wrong. i just cant feel its wrong. how do i fix this????
please help....anyone who can understand.....
My suggestion (answer)
We
have done only those things that a man is capable of doing!
It is just that it takes a little more to not to do these things...
It takes much more to do things, which are good for others, but very few attempt those!
...
We have sort of become a 'guru' for ourselves, having done these negative things... Now somebody who demonstrates doing things, has taken a little extra trouble to show it 'live', in a way that is not easily forgettable! So, it is good to feel grateful to such a person.. Here it is 'we' ourselves! So, why forget? Instead, remember it as a reminder, a lesson for ourselves, by ourselves, and ourselves, with a sense of gratitude towards ourselves! This 'sense of gratitude' if felt and nurtured a bit genuinely, then... it cannot... it will not... stop just within... we grow into gratitude towards nature, and all those around, who did something for us (that great noble soul who built that massive bridge over which we travel to and from umpteen number of times... if he did not build it, we would struggle to reach across... That person who invented the shirt buttons! Or else, we would be trying thread/cord across our chest, with flaps over each other like those Roman king times!)...
Slowly the memory becomes a useful reference for us.... and someday, we would start narrating it to other youngsters, to tell them, that they need not go through the same stupidity again, when they listen 'live' from a person like us!
It is just that it takes a little more to not to do these things...
It takes much more to do things, which are good for others, but very few attempt those!
...
We have sort of become a 'guru' for ourselves, having done these negative things... Now somebody who demonstrates doing things, has taken a little extra trouble to show it 'live', in a way that is not easily forgettable! So, it is good to feel grateful to such a person.. Here it is 'we' ourselves! So, why forget? Instead, remember it as a reminder, a lesson for ourselves, by ourselves, and ourselves, with a sense of gratitude towards ourselves! This 'sense of gratitude' if felt and nurtured a bit genuinely, then... it cannot... it will not... stop just within... we grow into gratitude towards nature, and all those around, who did something for us (that great noble soul who built that massive bridge over which we travel to and from umpteen number of times... if he did not build it, we would struggle to reach across... That person who invented the shirt buttons! Or else, we would be trying thread/cord across our chest, with flaps over each other like those Roman king times!)...
Slowly the memory becomes a useful reference for us.... and someday, we would start narrating it to other youngsters, to tell them, that they need not go through the same stupidity again, when they listen 'live' from a person like us!
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