If only those confusions about 'life' itself recede for a while......., yes.... even just for a while.... maybe..... it is much easier to decide as to which way to go ahead, while we feel 'lost' like in a deep, dark jungle. Almost like trying to learn swimming at a sea shore where the waves are usually very violent(swimming pool, that round inflated rubber tube, and the expert keeping a watch at a very close distance, and above all.... the below... is just 3 feet deep to begin with.... so cool....)!
And then, it struck me, ..... what am I trying to look for, when prying into the 'cause' for these waves of confusions?
Parameters?...... Why not?... maybe..... could be...... should be...... would be....
(I wonder if my 'other' mind .... something that they call 'subconscious'... like those sub-marines, which surface only once in a while..... was trying to “actually” get serious, and did some again and again-search, or a re-search to find out “why this ... kolaveri.... kolaveri.... kolaveri.. di”? Too much of running after a 'popular' tune!).
I looked up the dictionary...
If only I had looked at this word this deep, some time ago, instead of yielding to that 'prompt' pre-conclusion attitude which says usually, “I know it”, maybe, the confusions would have been only around me, not within......
Amongst the contextual meanings, three of them 'hit' me to reveal how 'context' confuses us....
Context No. 1: “A quantity to which an arbitrary value may be given as a convenience in expressing performance or for use in calculation”.....
Arbitrary value.... yes those business targets are set as values of a quantity decided arbitrarily by the 'marketing' bosses! “Performance” targets... sounds more familiar......
(Now,.... it seems so clear.... when a colleague , years ago , used to distribute his wedding invitation in the office, right behind him, comes his-close-friend.... with another sheet of paper, list of 'contributions' for a common 'gift' to be presented during the wedding reception, but....... with first three or four names 'suggesting' that 'reasonable' amount per head! And this close-friend picks yet another two close friends, who quite arbitrarily 'express' a value 'convenient' to their friend, and ofcourse, with an implicit reciprocal arrangement! What are the 'parameters' which decide, what is an appropriate price of the gift during marriage reception, house warming ceremony, send-off party, transfer-send off party, etc? Somebody hikes the latest amount, and it slides up that barometer... it reminds me of those barometers...... some “ six's” or so.... in 'physics' text book of 7th class in the school, .... never got to see them ever in 'real' life.... where the slider moves only one way up, and not down....!)
What we call as 'social' norms are just those “arbitrary” values... 'minimum 30 sovereigns of gold' for the bride, minimum fare of the auto-rickshaw, minimum bribe for Driving licence, policeman who alleges 'flouting of traffic rules'... don't dare to ask him 'which' rule, or the minimum would get hiked quite arbitrarily..... all those 'mini's... makes us 'mum' ... that is why that word “minimum” scares us to this day! At school, the 'majority' are usually worried only about 'minimum' pass marks!
I kept myself 'floating' slightly above that minimum, knowing too well, that other 'arbitrary' factors like sudden 'tough-correction' (actually it is 'valuation' of answer paper... but somehow, some 'arbitrary' parameter at our school named it as 'correction' !) might push the slider of minimum marks, a little up.... not to mention the 'worry' of parents at home if we are precariously hanging around that minimum marks, with a 'fail' vulnerability 'any-next-time'! Fortunately, at home, I was allowed a small allowance of few spare extra-coins when sent out to buy small grocery items for the kitchen, of course to be 'properly' accounted for, after return... but it did take care of inflationary trends (now I know, it is... infact... actually....really.... truly...... 'arbitrarily-steered-trends' ... thanks to dextrous 'navigation' of economics by our eminent politicians)!
Context No.2: A variable, which is given a series of arbitrary values in order that a family of curves of two other related variables may be drawn......... (!)
See....? That word 'variable' ... so useful in calculations, algebra, maths , etc... when shows that unsteady 'varying' nature in the hands of a monarch, sends shivers down our spine.....!!!
When one arbitrary value (per item of social norm) itself gives us sufficient trouble, please imagine what a 'series of arbitrary values' can do, and especially, when a variable represents it, to relate to 'other' related variables! That is what we 'experience' when a close relative's family suddenly changes the 'life-style' , buying a costly car, LED and HD enabled TV, etc.. Those in-laws, .... set off a “series” of troubles against us.... When the 'staff' within an office manage(acutally 'stage-manage' by clandestine-mutual-consent....), the internal parameters, avoiding overshooting the targets, the boss hunts for 'series' of similar companys, off shore, and imports unrealistic targets of 'developed' countries!
Context No.3
(And now comes the 'king' of confusions!)..
“Any constant in learning or growth curves, that differs with differing conditions.....”
See the deliberate attempt ... the 'seeding' of trouble....? We usually look up a dictionary only in a hurry, and often miss the contradictions.... “constant” that “differs”... and as if it is not enough, it differs with 'differing' conditions!!! Well, we turn indifferent to these parameters over a period of time (stoic?).....
(If.... if.... these parameters ..... which decide just the material aspect of life are so exacting.... what about “spiritual” parameters?) Personally, at times, I seem to have benefitted ..... my spouse takes pride in disclosing 'we don't waste food'.... while I know, how she gently pushes the 'side' dish(experientially, for me, it is usually, a 'slide' dish! ) with 'larger' sized laddle, into my plate, when she discovers that the left over of previous meal is a bit unmanageable quantity... of course, the ingredients of that dish was the cheapest vegetable of 'that' week at the market... and so that over-buying,....... and that 'over-cooking' due to extra-cooking...... trial and errors exempted...... like those 'e & o e ' legend at the foot of a bill! My benefit is that I learned 'waste' management from physiological point of view, ... now that the 'target' dust-bin, or waste-basket got itself re-located ! I seemed to have somehow managed living through those 'parameters' without tampering with any of those 'bench-marks' affecting yet others negatively! I used to be good at adding numbers, figures, amounts, sums, before computers came, and thus was branded as 'good totaller' apart from being looked down upon as a 'tee-totaller'... only until both these parameters became 'governed' by different set of 'variables'.... now there is a whole team of 'QA' to fix 'bugs' (at public counters, the staff shift the errors as 'computer' mistake...... the entire staff is now “always” flawless)... but.... it is the 'QA' team that actually decides the 'actual' holiday date of the 'project' team, though the latter fix holiday dates, travel ticket booking dates etc fuzzily relating it with their own 'project-capability', waking capability, etc!
psn
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