Manipulation

If there is one word that can be used quite freely, almost anytime, and to our advantage, to invoke a sense of guilt in another, it is ‘manipulation’. And it is quite difficult to refute, without getting engaged into a lengthy debate. It is almost like a double-edged sword.
Intelligent accountants invariably manipulate accounts to their own advantage. Lawyers manipulate cases to win over the mind and heart of the judge, and turn the case on the others. A clever student manipulates just the key words (only which he remembers), and churns out an answer to create an impression of a thorough knowledge about the subject. A crafty astrologer manipulates the ‘subtle’ factors to justify and refute the claim about bad prediction due to his lack of knowledge. And most of the office-goers (the bulk amongst us) need no further reminder as to how to go about with ‘manipulation’ whether we do the task, reach the target, etc or not. There is an inexhaustible list of reasons available for late coming, non-performance, etc. Between spouses, who is it that usually wins an argument, who has the last laugh? When there is too much of it, or an over-manipulation, it is time to implore thus “Please, at least this, don’t politicize” . We know what makes a ‘good’ politician.

Such endless engagement in deceit-game, day-in-and-out, demands quite a heavy price from our very way of being. It corrupts the core being, our very basic attitude. And then our very mind functioning becomes ‘manipulative’. The moment we mention something in a casual talk, the other person responds only with some kind of manipulation! Plain, simple, and straight forward or to-the-point answers seldom come out. The trait gets so deeply embedded that the default acknowledgement-response to even a simple appreciation gets badly mangled with some stupid manipulation! Unwittingly this acknowledgment might make the humble appreciation or the person feel even a bit guilty! (Why the hell did I engage myself into appreciating this fellow?)!

Manipulation, by itself is not bad. Sometimes it comes very handy, as a life saving drug! Only care to be taken is we do it in full awareness, very consciously, each time, otherwise our mind gets manipulated. I am reminded of the joke. There is a tradition amongst ancient Namboodiris, of Kerala (South India), that when food is being served, they do not mention ‘enough-please’ to the person serving. It is upto the person serving to guess accurately and stop when it is enough for the diner. So, every care was taken to assign the task of serving food to only intelligent people. A young inexperienced Namboodiri managed to gain entry into the serving group. The item(dish) he chose to serve was ‘Rasam’ ( a tasty tamarind pulp with spices preparation). The food was served on a banana leaf. Rasam was to be mixed very loosely with plain cooked rice and ‘slurped’ in a hurry, to free the eating-hand, the bare right hand to first gather the flowing rasam first, trying to run away out of the borders of banana leaf, and then scoop the next watery hand-full for the next ‘slurp’. An elderly Namboodiri, being unsure about quick response with aged feeble hands, tried to cup his palm while it was being poured, and slurped the unmanageable excess of plain rasam first. This act was grossly misunderstood by the novice Namboodiri, and he repeated the pouring with another ladle-full, thinking that this elderly took a special liking for this dish! This went on for sometime. The stomach of this elderly was making gurgling noises with the punch of ‘asafoetida’ that would have got polarized inside the stomach with the abnormal dose of rasam. At last some source of respite appeared to the elderly Namboodiri when the youngster quizzed politely “Sir, how many members in your Illam(family)”…. The youngster just meant to become more ‘customer-friendly’ with courtesy enquiries, nothing more. This elderly Namboodiri seized the only available opportunity, MANIPULATED the simple reply and blurted out, “If I happen to survive this overdose of Rasam, that I am helplessly gulping, then including me, there are 17 members in my family”. Needless to add, the novice got his first lessons in serving!

Even in a seemingly inextricable situation, a victim of human-sacrifice happened to escape death, using the manipulation technique to his advantage. He was asked “Who are you”, and if he lied, he would be eaten raw or if he told the truth, he would be roasted and then eaten by the cannibals after their ritualistic sacrifice/offering. This fellow manipulated cleverly and replied “I am a liar”. They had to let him go free, since they could not decide whether he told the truth or lied!

As usual, I too ‘manipulate’ a simple question to my advantage. And to repeat a famous dialogue that I adore, “please try to find a way to forgive me for what I am about to do”

Regards,
Psn(30th May, 2010)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100529145226AAWSFEo

Can You Manipulate People Into Loving You?
and being your best friend, giving you money, helping you out etc...Can you honestly do that? ... If yes, did it work or fail? If no, what do you think it takes to manipulate others?I dont think manipulating is bad, it depend if your using it for evil or good. Some people can sense others and can get what they want out of manipulation. It doesnt mean its bad, it means they just good at it. Anyways..can you manipulate Anybody? and i mean Anybody!

My answer:
Well, we find this 'manipulation' look like a problem, or, it looks like a 'feeling of guilt' only because we 'manipulated' the use of words like 'evolve'. When a violent person gets 'reformed' by the influence of a spiritual person, this erstwhile-violent person starts loving the spiritual person out of a sense of gratitude and even give one's own life (not just help or money). This spiritual person 'manipulated' the chemistry of this violent person, re-formed him into a 'human' being once again (this time in full awareness of this violent person... he was a cheerful, loving, lovable, wonderful human being once upon a time... when he was a small baby !!!).
Temporary superficial adjustments do happen for some petty gains, and they too look like 'manipulations' but they are only cosmetic. A little nudge, and the original nature would surface too soon. Such manipulations are not worth the name. True manipulations are a complete 'transformation' (not mere change). It is not at all 'bad' if we have one more good human being around us on this planet at least till we are around! The spark of that divinity is there in each one of the living beings. For human beings, it is possible to 'kindle' life, using this spark. If that is liked to be referred by the name 'manipulation', then, long live such manipulation!
You are right, business men manipulate the likes and dislikes of customers to their advantage. They are just good at it, and unless they get what they want out of such manipulation, their business does not survive. That is why there is a popular saying "A good salesman would manage to sell a refrigerator to an eskimo"! (Manipulation at its Best, in the most unfavourable weather conditions, in the most unfavourable terrain!)