Now, what am I up against?

Yes, that is exactly what happens most of the time, when we step out into this uncertain world!

We stretch out our arms towards a baby lovingly (mostly, only to please its parents). But the baby gives a puzzled, uncertain, hesitant look, unable to decide at what of time it has to spell out its protest with a loud cry.

A girl is facing the visiting viewers from groom’s side for girl seeing. She takes an uncertain look at them, asking within, “what am I going to be up against, if these people happen to ‘approve’ me?”

A new manager takes over from the outgoing one, and the entire staff takes an anxious look at the incoming one, asking themselves, ‘what are we going to be up against this time?’

A new dish is proudly presented by the waiter, taking that extra privilege with regular customer, and unable to ask about it out of embarrassment, the guest takes a look at the dish, thinking “what is my stomach going to face, when I manage to swallow this?” (Okay, …… this could even happen at home… I thought it unwise to embarrass the fair gender)

When a staff, just out of a training session for customer service, in all sincerity, but all of a sudden attempts to greets that regular customer with an unusual broad smile, would end up in actually scaring the customer(same problem, same quiz.. what is this fellow up to now?)! See the point? That is why these reforms in police is unable to take off that fast, these police men are unable to scare us any better than before, when they try that people-friendly approach(we already keep a very safe distance)!

How soon, how well or even if at all we deal with this problem from our within, decides our own mental health, attitude, the traits into which we evolve, the levels of acceptability amidst others that we grow into, etc. Most proverbs try to reassure us, with hope, trust in humanity, etc. Most jokes try to soothe us, teach us to laugh at such ‘taken by surprise situations’. Sales-experts hurry to reassure us and then skin us alive at leisure(those ‘conditions-apply’ clauses in fine print evade our glance, and consequently our own routine check list of ‘what am I up against’).

A highly busy mind, prejudiced mind, angry mind, confused mind, etc… seldom manages to grasp the ‘correct’ picture of what we are up against, and we know the rest of the story. Right from giving out answers in an exam, even up to putting up with a wrong choice for a spouse for the rest of the life, we find that chance to rectify a bit too late.

I don’t know why, but my dad never had thought of ‘preparing’ me to look out for what I am up against. Maybe, he was busy protecting others from me during my childhood. It is not a blind guess. The confirmation came a bit late though. He even announced it during the daughter-in-law selection-session, very much in the same style of that ‘John Rambo’s’ colonel who reassured that he had come to protect the army/policemen from Rambo, and not Rambo from them (the purpose of this girl seeing, my dad clarified, was to make sure if this innocent girl would be able to put up with his son!). Might be, that he compared as to how we both faced the same woman (my Mom) for years! Sympathy pours in favour of my spouse incessantly, but armed with those tiny bullets and pellets, it hardly makes any dent on my hide. And now I know why since ages, spouses try to dissuade their husbands from taking up too much of Yoga, spirituality etc! Not that I am really ‘all-proof’. I am very much busy not only in facing, but even trying to find out more about the most formidable person I can be ever up against, myself!!
Psn(18th May, 2010)