"Evaluation Copy"

Evaluation copy

Disclaimer: “This is only an evaluation copy, and not the entire version”
(Yeah! Like any commercial ‘evaluation-copy-stuff’ of a software, this too contains only things that are ‘likely’ to appeal. There has to be hidden costs, undisclosed discomforts stored as in-built, for future, and some irrevocable, non-biodegradable, stuff when we get enticed into subscribing for the original version!)

Evaluation copy, about what? That’s your problem to figure it out.

Sitting at the window sill, during my journey in a train, watching the sceneries flying past by me, something came flying past along with the wind, landed on me. I picked it up, and found that it could be of interest to the co-passengers with me, and even perhaps to those who would later journey in the same compartment, and so I decided to ‘pin-it-up’ leaving it to the observers to do what they like, read it, glance it, view it, observe it, delve into it, etc.

The stuff :

We confront lots of ‘matching’ things, as well as conflicting ones, within us. We tend to take notice of only the conflicting ones, since that is what impedes us from realizing our goals.

All of us have that body awareness, we know our minds too, to some extent, and there is that someone else too, the much elusive “we” within us.

When some tasks or situation suits us well, it is the ‘matching’ set of things. When it does not, it is the conflicting area.

Some people are comfortable with driving a vehicle. They do not really mind the busy traffic, even bottle-necks, being caught in traffic jam etc. They cheerfully turn to have a chat with co-passengers, or turn on the audio, or simply enjoy gazing through the windscreen. Some others, cannot even enjoy a lonely road. Worry grips them. A whole set of “what if suddenly…” series would get triggered in their minds, and that would be enough to spoil the entire pleasure of riding.

When we find time, to take a look at ourselves, we clearly see that in some of our “could-not-accomplish” goals, there is a hazy picture of lack of co-ordination, team spirit within us. The mind reminds us at very wrong times, what we should have done! The body refuses to cooperate when needed most! And that elusive “we” like a silent resident virus, causes only discomfort, seldom gives us that much needed consolation, support and revitalizing, rejuvenating elixir.

Perhaps, our body has its own habits, affinity to things, inherent abilities, debilities, etc.

The mind too, has set its own priorities, preferences, attitudes, etc…

The “being” within, that elusive ‘we’ has its own hidden agenda.

Obviously the ‘being’ (the “we”) ought to be the most powerful one. But, it has to suffer a drawback. When it has decided to bestow its trust and power into the body and mind, it has to just sit back and wait, till the body and mind finish their fueling, refueling, in-fighting, etc, and then turn their attention towards their master, to see if the master desires something to be done by them!

The mind says, we have to reduce our body weight. But the stupid body refuses to cooperate at the opportune moment! It does not even realize that reducing weight is in its own self-interest! It is not the mind that carries the weight. It is the body. The mind has an hidden agenda. It seeks to prove, ‘see, I told you so, the body simply does not want to cooperate’. The body says, “why should I forsake the cozy comforts of sofa, the tasty junk food, just to pamper you! I take the entire struggle and strain to ‘reduce’ and you travel light within me! All you like to enjoy is pay me less, and make me work more! Not anymore. I will resist. I will insist on re-booting several times, when you ask me to wake up earlier than my normal comfortable time! I will shut off the alarm, sneak back into the bed, if necessary, hold my bladder’s explosive pressure for a while more, just to show my obstinacy in disobeying, yielding to you”! The mind now shows all its tricks. It creates dreams only about toilets. If the mind wins, we get up, go to toilet and back into bed. Or else…. Oh! that’s the problem of washing machine, who ever it is!


The body craves for luxury items, which it could not get, or which it refuses to drop. The body refuses to perform many a times, and jumps into action when not needed(it accelerates the throttle, when we lose our balance and are about to fall, driving a two-wheeler!).

The mind would have liked to be a doctor, but ended up as a storekeeper. It would have liked to enjoy a retired life, but ended up doing a ‘compromise’ job.
The mind finds that it has to put up with a mismatching spouse, lesser than dreamt-job/qualification/hobby/etc. The mind reminds, ‘I too had that aptitude for painting, music, astrology, yoga, etc, but somehow got caught up with things, and ended up in this mess!’

The planet Sun(or is it a ‘Star’, the only one, in our solar system?.... Bah! forget it, that was not the issue now), which is supposed to be ‘holding’ the solar system in its place, ought to be making lots of noises while it’s burns it fuel explosively all the time. We here, do not seem to hear it at all. Even during the day time, the Sun goes into clouds(not to speak of nights, or brief eclipses)! Like wise, the being, the Sun within (the aatma karaka ), too, starts being heard feebly at times, mostly when it is the eve of our lifetime, and reminds us of the most painful things like “what did I do all along with my life, why the hell is this life, what was my life all about, what were my inner-most-desires, what was the purpose of this life time (even if it were the only one that I believe in)"!

(This is only an evaluation copy, so, that’s it!)
psn(12th Sept, 2009)