Upholding Sense of fairness

 Upholding Sense of fairness 

I never thought hitherto that I might dwell upon this aspect of our daily routine life 😂

As a kid, I was stupid to assume that “what is true for me, will be true for others also, when it is about a ‘sense of fairness’ 🙏

But, as I grew, the expectations met disappointment.

Today,  are we not scared of hidden conditions, cost, etc??? 😜.   Are they being ‘fair’ to the bare minimum trust level that can be reasonably expected?

The original software, with which we are born, is neither fair nor unfair. It's just an open and receptive mind looking for ‘what works’? Kids learn and quietly imbibe the traits related to ‘sense of fairness’. 😂

Parents ‘realise' their flaws only when they face some kind of emotional blackmail from their own children after they are grown up 😥. The fear of losing the child's bonds is ‘used’ as a threat to get something out of the parents 🤣.  The “awareness” about who is being fair, gets lost. Fear gives in to the blackmail.  

When a pattern emerges where we feel that the other person is not being fair most of the times, mutual trust diminishes 😂🙏

We look for how to rebuild mutual trust, in our non_commercial relationships (usually between close relatives and friends).  Whereas, ‘sense of fairness' is the functional form of trust.  A deep recognition of emotional interdependence is relative to the level of mutual trust.

It really happened 🤣

About 15 of us were freshers, youngsters and novices at the small office of a workplace in a remote town. The main boss and two officers were well experienced in handling the workplace_situation.

When novices are the subordinates, the temptation is to exploit their ignorance about their own basic rights 😜. “Sense of fairness” had totally evaporated in the main boss. We beginners could even ‘notice' the cunningness only when the two guys( our junior bosses) inadvertently grumbled at the”excessess” of their boss( our main boss😜).  That main guy missed awareness of the fact that he has no separate switch inside his brain to be kept on, for maintaining his sense of fairness towards his breed(the 2 officers)😜… 

We needed to find out the best ‘available’ defense material amongst ourselves, to fight the ‘absence of fairness’ in that main boss.

We met in privacy.

I was the unanimous choice. 

I protested saying “I am the junior-most among us 🙏. I lack familiarity with workplace_related rights (based on sense-of-fairness). My personal anxiety is, everyone pays for my error in Judgement 🙏. Please let a senior among us lead 🙏…etc…etc” ( little did I realise then, when I was 22… that I was inadvertently blurting the basics of non_commercial interpersonal relationships 🙏… the cluster of my thoughts at that point of time, were going to end up as my-personal-thumb-rule for the rest of my life 😜)

The others made a proposal which I could not refuse ( same as the dialogue of the hero of the movie “The Godfather” 🙏😜😜)

They said: “Look, whether you commit an error in judgement or any other among us, all of us are going to ‘pay’ for it alike. We are unanimous that… the probability of error is least in you👍. We guarantee unconditional obedience to your decisions” ( probably, those guys must have felt that my “sense of fairness” was better than theirs, and accompanied by my trustworthiness, & ……dexterity of threat assessment (the boss “uses” his vested powers of disciplinary action to threaten us, at the drop of hat 😜. Pure emotional blackmail).

It worked 👍. I never had to regret any of my decisions, especially when the adherence was 200% plus😜. 

My sense of responsibility towards my_breed fuelled an unprecedented speed_of_learning 🙏 ( do we not see instances of illiterates as mega success stories?👍🙏…  Driven to the wall, doubles our moral strength).

This intense life_experience, of evolving rapidly into ‘sense of fairness'... I guess…might have contributed to my high scores in “Jurisprudence” paper 8 years later in my LLB, with zero preparation from books 😜. 

Another decade later, the intense spiritual practices seemed to act like a fuel for spacecraft, in deepening the same ‘sense of fairness' at subtle levels 😜.  ( Obviously, perception ought to deepen!).  That's my experience, for whatever it is worth 🙏. It works for me, and therefore I felt “it might be fair enough to share it” 😜👍

fairly yours,

psn(17 Oct 2026)

Tailpiece:

My brother, a kid of 3 writhing in pain yelled to our dad “belt is biting my waist”.

Dad got annoyed, pulled out that belt, and lashed at the kid. (The pain due to the lash was too small compared to the ‘belt_bite’ and his sobbing subsided 😜). A scorpion jumped out when the belt was pulled by a jerk.

Dad noticed the scorpion and felt a remorse, in having misunderstood the kid 🙏( I still have strong visuals of the powerful expression in my dads face, when he realised that his_sense_of_fairness fell short, when he failed to ‘look beyond’ the limited vocabulary of a 3-year kid, and used the genuineness in pain, displayed by a scorpion’s sting(“ belt is biting me” 😜).

A lesson for life, for me. Dad, a guru 🙏