Nuisance Value

“Who is it, who is looked at as a nuisance by everybody here?” I asked a colleague...

He blinked...

He knew me well, and also therefore knew, what 'nuisance' would mean...

I waited for a while, and then gave one more clue.. “The whole of the school too regards this person as a nuisance”

“Some times, it is the clue that 'adds' to the confusion, rather than offering even that 'seemingly-help'” he ricocheted (rebounded)..

“Then, the third clue, none other than me myself” I volunteered....

He smiled.. But did not really take courage to spell it out.

I said, “auditors”...

They are the ones who are 'licenced to create nuisance” (like the James Bond wala licence-to-kill)..

The inspector of schools, would ask a timid-looking boy, who was never a problem to the teacher (“who cares whether you understood the lesson or not...”... was the composure of the teacher-ji, but the inspector picks that boy, asks a question, and it is the name of the teacher that gets written in his 'nuisansical' notebook!)....

Unless of course, our perception affords a deeper look, and also our acceptance is prepared to widen the door a little more-open!

When a kid, my dad would 'declare' (like a foreigner declares his goods to the customs official),

'My son'...

and that elder across the opposite seat would start looking at me quite intently! (train journey)...

I could not find an 'apt expression' for what I found to be his 'style of look' at me, till I became a lettered-being... Then I found the word.. 'a patent examiner'..!!!

That elder is not even interested in the KYC norms of my dad, not even his name.. Perhaps, he takes a fancy for only the latest models! He is not a nuisance to me... He is a 'concurrent-auditor', when my dad keeps saying this to almost all strangers, who manifest their quality time and leisure to spend on 'something to do'... ('quite funny', I felt as a kid, ..'these elders never pay attention to our-time, when we are having an 'abundance' of that quality time?.. we kids have to become resourceful-unto-ourselves, when they just say, 'Jao-kelo'.. and it is up to us to find the 'how to', with no gadgets in the vicinity?'

Not for long... I grew up... Now as a 'grown-up' (not exactly an 'adult'), I could see a manifest form of what 'never gets mentioned' !!!

Yes.. We do 'hear' about a 'blank answer paper' when a kid doesn't know a single answer..

But if the question paper is blank?

That is what the 'look' of the other stranger tries to tell me, when he keeps staring into my face as a co-passenger in a train or bus journey.. (now, it is quite different.. ears are plugged, and they call it 'hearing' to music).

This blank-look is full of questions, but I am unable to read them, any of them... That is when I .. perhaps, could conceive of 'non-verbal-thoughts'... I try to label it with 'wonder-look' but there is nothing 'wonderful' in his/her eyes! Just a blank-look! (Some people who cannot stand such stare, do ask “Yeh ghoor-ghoor ke kya dekh rahe ho?”.. and they know, there 'cannot-be' any answer... only a nuisance-value, by that look!)..

Early questions of a kid are looked at as 'mere nuisance value' by elders who are pre-occupied with lots of worries!

If only they 'happened to'... take a look at their own 'worry-list'... they would have sighted quite a few of 'nuisance-value-only' type of worries!

Wonder-element within us waits...!

When that wonder is allowed to awaken... spirituality ceases to be looked at as some kind of a nuisance value!

Till then, all our 'search' , questions, answers.. why, even our copy-pastes, mutual-benefit-schemes of wah-wah'... all these are mere 'nuisance management skills'... (like spending more time to learn 'time-management' and running out of time-itself!.. fund-management, its 'flow-management' etc..)

nuisansically yours,

psn (5th January, 2015)