Nonreply@

Some of us do not need to read the last few sentences of an email, which usually carries this user-id...

The bulk of my earlier blogs at blogspot dot com met this fate, when people look at the whole blog as a 'nonreply@' (this trend still continues with those few to whom, I am addicted to send these blogs to their id's as a group!)

I felt it amazing that people at 'speaking tree' somehow made it into a place resembling a social networking platform! Obviously, the bulk of the 'responses' would end up only 'taking-after' such a pattern! We don't need to look at its attributes, when we are into a spiritual-oriented inquiry.. Mere observation might take us a little further!

When this no element of any compulsion of any kind, and yet we feel like doing something, the incidental benefits are going to be of some spiritual significance! When these benefits even are subtle and quite slow to accrue, the significance would be ever evasive! Somewhere, I guess, a choice about choicelessness springs forth!

As a kid, the elders found it quite tough to get me interested into doing something that they liked me to do... “Studies” was one such item! Now-a-days, this word 'studies' has faded out a little.. Scores and marks are reference points.. I tried to verify, as to why I am not keen about 'studies'... The help for studies was vested entirely with teachers, who never impressed me that they knew what they are teaching! And text books don't reply to 'our' specific questions... That settled the issue for me! Now, it was only about complying with conditions of survival...

There were a few, in fact very few, who noticed as my elders, that I could do well with almost anything, that I was interested to do... But, unfortunately, what ever that I got interested was of not any interest to the elders, and it included even items, about my interests-of-well-being... I could see clearly and early enough too, that I am never going to make it any good in my life (career oriented outlook-wise, of course)..

I was now turning to look at 'why I do, what I do?'... There seemed to be not much 'leads/clues' to find out... I was able to focus on anything available in the situation outside... For instance, my timing while going towards my school was reliable.. I was always one hour ahead of first bell (same with work place too)... but while returning home, I turned quite erratic . That sense of timing was only the starting hours of next working day (school or work).. So punctuality was not exactly a trait. What exactly 'used to hold me on to' remained a nonreply@ kind of search!

It is only years later that I discovered, something deep within caught my attention (call it a luck or whatever), and now, other things did not seem to matter much.. Involvement became a side-benefit, a by-product... Oh! I felt, that something deep within, that nonreply@ wala id user, is to remain elusive and evasive, despite its 'pronounced' hold on me...! And maybe, therefore that it took quite some time, for me to get 'interested' into 'structured-tools' available to experience the closeness to that anonymous-but-persistent chaser within! The sense of involvement that kept me engaged in sundries, came quite handy, and the appreciation had to wait till I was able to notice others struggling at what I got by default! The funny part was, the psychological aspects of the entire structure of 'teaching' came as a subject of observation for me while others were/got subjected to it!

I was wondering if we would turn to think of our routine activities, and classify them a bit judiciously, into things we do not out of any kind of compulsion/addiction/craving/desire/etc... and those that we do under compulsion like our Tax-deducted-at-source (TDS)... And if we are persuaded to try out a few things, doing it, just as an experiment to see what the 'very doing' is going 'to do' to us, maybe ... some 'deep assets' get a chance to gain significance in our 'life'!

Co-Respondingly yours,

psn (25th January, 2015)