Put on Notice!

It was a very casual chat... Most of them were youngsters.. Only two were 'oldies'... Me and an elderly lady, much more senior to me.. We were almost trying to 'kill' the time! It was a gathering of close relatives, to formalise an alliance with a ritualistic ceremony, followed by some sundry events, and the intervening time gap had to be somehow spent.

The topic came up about 'causes' of diabetes... The youngsters felt cheerful to talk about it.. As it turned out at once, this lady was the only one to 'face the music'... She embarked on negating all the causes one-by-one, when these youngsters suggested..

'eating erratically—No!' ,

'Worrying—No!'..

'lack of exercise—No!'

“Angry-often?--NO!”

“Then, depression/stress/etc---No-no I am a mere house-wife all along!”.....

etc...

I was just observing silently... the youngsters had almost exhausted all known 'causes/reasons' and this lady could manage with a 'no' to all of those.. But the fact remained that she did depend on those medicines for 'sugar-problem' , and her consolation was 'at this age, it is okay now!'

There was a weakening of pressure on her.. Like those police people using water-cannons on a mob, and when water gets exhausted, the slogan-shouting becomes a little vigorous (shouting against a spray of water is cumbersome, we know!)...

I should have continued to keep quiet... But I didn't... I said gently/slowly, 'Maybe telling lies is the cause of diabetes!' (“झूट बोलने से शायद डाईबेटिस होता है " Actually, I had said it in Hindi!)

There was a sudden burst of laughter from all the youngsters! The moment became intensely 'dramatic'.. The laughter of the youngsters was at the 'stupidity' and contrast of the arguement.. when all 'sensible' causes failed, ... then ... why not this 'unconventional' cause of 'telling lies?'.. It amused them (the sense of timing was the 'chief-element' that evoked that burst of laughter... !)

But, that lady at once became a bit 'too-serious'... While the youngsters got lost into their own laughter, I took notice of this 'grim-faced-expression' and knew at once... that I had stepped on a painful-nerve.. (Something they say in hindi close to this... “दुखती राग पर हाथ रखना )...

Obviously, the literal sense of it was not what 'disturbed' her... In fact she was quite insistent about being uprighteous about things... And she had a reputation accruing to her, in the family circle for this quality... She did not mind being a little unpopular among those who were a little factitious/pretentious/etc...

I too was a little taken-aback, and quite unprepared to see, when my 'casual' remark found its mark deep within her! She was having a great struggle, holding on to these 'values' which are cherished traditionally... And it was this 'struggle' that raised a 'big' doubt, as to whether it really ended up into some kind of self-deception? Other wise, why was there such a struggle about it? Must be a very very subtle kind of self deception! The mention of 'lies' seemed to put-her-on-notice, and she was such a generous lady, her entire 'seriousness'/red-faced expression... etc was entirely at her-own-self, and not me, the culprit, who 'put her on-notice'...!

I did regret that inadvertant slip! I knew the vulnerability of certain expressions of mine, especially when the situation was 'just-right' ... but I gave in to the temptation of the 'thought' that these youngsters are 'going-to-laugh' at it... (I had to find an equipoise, within myself, between the joyousness of spurring a laughter in those youngsters, and at the same time, of having stirred a deep painful truth in somebody else...).. While others almost forgot he whole thing, the lady did take notice of it, and I could not keep track of what might have happened thereafter with her, due to this!

...

We often keep avoiding to be 'put on notice' of something that might not leave us thereafter!

Impersonal allegations are so comfortable to deal with!

'Being put-on-notice' is something that the 'escapists' are ever afraid of!... But, when some weakness of our get pointed out so bluntly, there is an 'after-effect'. We suddenly turn into an 'hitherto-escapist' A yet-another & a painful discovery!

Meditative practices often encounters the problem of 'being put on notice' .. deep within, while on the other hand... we keep wondering as to why we do not evolve 'any-further'.. or why this meditative state refuses to deepen within us!

The teacher of the present day, often has to 'struggle' to make this 'putting on notice' to feel as comfortable as possible, to the seeker-disciple.. or else, the latter would simbly/simply drop off..

Acceptance, at its deepest levels, comes at a price, that everyone has to eventually pay-up, but few can really afford! (Even the 'constructive-notice' served is so painful!)

Noticing-ly yours,

psn(2nd May(be), 2014