It
is one thing to discuss 'detachment' sitting in the comforts of a
home, attached to a couch, attached to a cozy ambiance, and get away
with abstract concepts embellished with jugglery of words,
sentences... and it is quite another thing to find one's own
attachment with a mother, becoming a real nuisance!
Not
many are going to even try to patronise a question about 'how to
detach from 'mom'! (Hey! Old age homes are already overcrowded! And
'family values' threatening to sap the vital life-breath out of
humans, when we try to further persuade the already breaking up of
joint-ness of size of families of yester-years, when we try to
promote the 'Do-it-yourself' kit for detachment from mother!).
Not
really so!
Please
look at the question:
(quote)
Have
you ever been in a position where you just can't really "detach"
a person?
Idk
my mother is making my life miserable.. she's bipolar and very moody
yet i just can't make myself really detach myself from her so that i
can think only for myself for a while.
is it because i do go to school anymore and i have no connection with my friends anymore ?
is it because i do go to school anymore and i have no connection with my friends anymore ?
(Unquote:)
It
is in the 'additions' to the question, that the most 'tricky' part of
'how to..' gets revealed... It is about... mother!
But,
the asker is not asking about 'how to stop-loving'!!!! It is mere
'detachment'... that little bit of space... not even
'total-freedom'.... where, the bonds do not restrict the reach
towards other people around... (the 'attachment' prevents
'connection' with others.. for instance, 'friends' are an emotional
outlet, or an emotional-freedom, where a person finds the greatest
psychologcial “self-restoration” ... a person can feel a full,
wholesome 'self' again with a few at least, of 'good-trustworthy
friends'!
While
the question is likely to find that 'easy-appeal' only among those
who 'repel' at their moms, and therefore find this question
'attractive' enough... the solution cannot come from such repulsive
minds!
I
was interested in tapping the 'awareness' that has crept into the
mind of the asker... a deep recognition of one's own 'craving'
which is working against one-self! (the object of craving is just a
'name' .... but this time a very significant one... possibly the
most significant of bonds... a mother!)...
Aadi
Shankara had to do the 'fight' for detachement, on behalf of his
mother, for her son, that is himself... and when we look at the
story, very rarely did a son love his mother so much!
The
answer, whether it finds an appeal for the asker, is not an
'attachment' for me... As usual, all I seek is a 'notice' at it, and
then, the 'being' will find its own dubious ways to 'present' its
case at an 'appropriate time'! That is the 'mystic-factor' about
'detachments' of all kinds!
Detachment-of-yours,
psn(21st
August, 2013)
quote:
My
answer:
It
is a very significant question....
Way beyond 'interest, curiosity, inquisitiveness, thirst' etc...
It decides how we view our vital 'priorities' in life....
It is no different to an addict, who asks,... 'How do you get rid of addiction?' (When somebody asks this, this person has by now realised that his addiction is taking away his life, but the craving doesn't allow a 'detachment'!).
Though a bit rare, we have cases, where a person cannot even detach from love of poisonous varieties of snakes... (this person is most likely to die of a snake bite-venom! Snakes do not reciprocate a similar sentiment!... Then what about religious fanatics, who take to violence to 'safeguard' their religion?... They even resort to 'terrorism, just to ensure a 'fast-forward-peace'!... They simply cannot detach from such religious sentiments!)...
...
A person who has learnt to 'detach' a little bit from one's own self, find that detachment from everything else to be merely a consequential, and incidental benefit, though of immense benefit! It is not that a person becomes disinterested in the 'self' (on the other hand he is now more into self!... For example, a doctor, an eminent surgeon, finds it difficult to perform a surgery on his own child, spouse or a close relative with whom he is 'too-much' attached!... A detached-attitude, affords an impartial, judicious, reasonable approach at oneself... It is something that we can acquire only with persistence, and conscious effort over a period of time!)... A very good scientist does not even need any outside help to find flaws in his research, if only he learns to detach from himself, and then become a critic, an auditor of his own 'theories'! This scientist, over a period of time, spends far less time in grasping newer concepts!
psn
Way beyond 'interest, curiosity, inquisitiveness, thirst' etc...
It decides how we view our vital 'priorities' in life....
It is no different to an addict, who asks,... 'How do you get rid of addiction?' (When somebody asks this, this person has by now realised that his addiction is taking away his life, but the craving doesn't allow a 'detachment'!).
Though a bit rare, we have cases, where a person cannot even detach from love of poisonous varieties of snakes... (this person is most likely to die of a snake bite-venom! Snakes do not reciprocate a similar sentiment!... Then what about religious fanatics, who take to violence to 'safeguard' their religion?... They even resort to 'terrorism, just to ensure a 'fast-forward-peace'!... They simply cannot detach from such religious sentiments!)...
...
A person who has learnt to 'detach' a little bit from one's own self, find that detachment from everything else to be merely a consequential, and incidental benefit, though of immense benefit! It is not that a person becomes disinterested in the 'self' (on the other hand he is now more into self!... For example, a doctor, an eminent surgeon, finds it difficult to perform a surgery on his own child, spouse or a close relative with whom he is 'too-much' attached!... A detached-attitude, affords an impartial, judicious, reasonable approach at oneself... It is something that we can acquire only with persistence, and conscious effort over a period of time!)... A very good scientist does not even need any outside help to find flaws in his research, if only he learns to detach from himself, and then become a critic, an auditor of his own 'theories'! This scientist, over a period of time, spends far less time in grasping newer concepts!
psn
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