What is in it for me?

What is in this question, for me..... that it kept haunting me, every time I had to take a decision... is what intrigued me during a later part of my life! (Till then, my tiny brain wasn't even ripe to conceive of such queries!!)....

It was one of the quizzical ones out of many questions that used to crop up, when that 'watching' or witnessing of the mind got started... It was too early to blurt out the 'experiences', I felt... not that it was not interesting.... in fact, the spice in it, the humour in it got faded out when I now try to express it after so long a time! (The other questions were like,..... why am I like this? Why do some things affect me invariably... why am I not able to get myself to do, what I know as, I ought to be doing.... etc. All these questions 'seemed' to revolve around a common hub... It was not to be so! Each had a tiny and subtle hub underneath it, and just presented an illusion of a common hub, or a common disc/platform!)...

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What is in it for me?.... (That ambitious shopkeeper keenly tries to observe the prospective customer, and tries to guess.... if his merchandise has been able to answer this very question within that customer.... If that customer's eyes happen to widen a little, or if it seems to linger on something for a fraction of a moment longer than that 'logical-scale'... the shopkeeper ought not to miss it, if he means business!)....

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“Good” nurses at mental asylum happen to 'manage' the inmates a little more easily, when they are very familiar with this query and its answers/choices that is within the reach of the inmate out of the data base stored in that inmate's memory!!!

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A 'Win-win situation'... is a phrase, which declares what is in it for both....

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We can thus go on....

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Please see.... there is something within us that decides as to... up to what extent we are going to become receptive.... so as to expand the list of items..... within us..... that would help us to 'tick' with what is available in that something in front of us, about which we are going to decide .... to deal with it or not.... after matching the 'what is in it for me'!... (The ash from burnt coal did not mean anything to anyone, till somebody could conceive that it is a very good raw material for bricks... that fly-ash-bricks... now so popular!... What is going to be there in ash? It is a mere residue of everything that is burnt down... was the popular 'way of looking at' it!).....

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The 'way we look at' things/everything-around.... seemed to matter!

(Oh! It is the same old problem of 'perception'... said my mind... but I got hold of myself... wait... there is a repetition trap.... the mind is repeating a dialogue... it is judging.... not open enough!)...

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What if... what if I try to redefine myself?.... But how?... Changes, that I found people achieved, in their struggle to become amenable to the situation, ended up usually as mere 'cosmetic changes'.... Beyond a point they only added to their burden, of having to bear the superficial changes, and maintain that 'changed appearances'... (the consequences of such cosmetic efforts are of huge magnitude and impact... but not a subject matter of discussion right now, here).

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So, redefining has to be at core level.... Now comes the 'cruel' part of the travel... Travel, getting cruel?.... Yes, perhaps... it is not just a sight seeing... it is about 'sighting-the-seeing' tools.... and so, anything that is hindering has to be simply chopped off... mercilessly!

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It is about identifying something within us.... that can get identified with anything outside, but avoiding that 'trying-to-seek anything identical in it (rather, without even 'seeking' to match anything ... no match making... no force matching... no logic... )... In a rather fuzzy expression, it is about becoming 'one-with-it'.... There is an advantage, and which is also a 'check' (a crude check), as to whether we are doing it right.... there is no 'action' warranted ... in the sense... action is not dictated by the mind.... action simply happens... it flows forth.. if needed(by the situation)!...

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The whole idea of trying to look at why we are persuaded to answer the question within us (what is in it for me).... is that ..... as we try and maintain awareness of this.... we would slowly happen to look at ourselves with that 'witnessing aspect' ... through that witnessing aspect, rather... which is considered to be of great significance from spiritual point of view.... it triggers into operation an inward-process, may be initially a bit subtle even to 'feel' or know about it... but in due course, we can clearly see that 'engrooving' of it.... this process is a kind of multi-tasker... it demolishes the mind-blocks, expands the range of perception from within, and does many such things on a 'need-basis', leaving us free on a 'need-to-know-basis'...!!!

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As a sort of 'logical' exercise... please see, there are a few people about whom, we are unable to guess... as to why they like do what they are doing... as to why they are the way they are right now... or.... a very simple question would be ... “what is in it for them?”!!!.. If such people seem to attract our attention towards them (for any reason what-so-ever)... then, this 'process' is in its 'invocable form' right now, within us... for sure.. and it is a question of our sustained effort at it.... no risks what so ever.... no cost-based-efforts even... the benefits are immense.... over a period of time, this question 'what is in it for me' would get dissolved, paving the way for the other kind of dissolution!

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disillusioned-ly yours,

psn(11^th January, 2013)