Emotional self-deception!

'Terminological inexactitude' seems so comforting, instead of a plain 'lie'!

As simple as that!

Honesty by itself is not deceptive.... We make it elusive, when we deal with it just logically, when it suits us...... and then deploy it emotionally, restricting the element of deceptivity to.... just that emotions itself! Emotions are a bit subtle, excepting for the 'outbursts' (that is why most men settle for the 'silence' of a lady to mean as a 'yes'... and then before they realise it.... may be too late!)

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What about that self deception, and that too emotional, not logical?... A very deep thing... takes a lot to even discover. None other than we ourselves have to do the unfolding, the revealing of it to ourselves..... till then, we even cleverly put up a show of that 'spiritual-climb' too... and that 'self-deception' seeks so much of that sense-of-security, that it even provides proof of outspokenness, to appeal very logically to others... the advantage is, once a logical convincing happens, the emotional trust follows (deception point!)..... We find a few people whom we get to know very closely, who spare no efforts in self-mortification, just to impress themselves of their sincerity, and then others around 'happen to observe it' ...... the first analogy is 'logical'.... the sympathy sinks instantly, and deep enough too, when others see that there are no 'vested' interests for that person oneself! The judgement gets closed. Inadvertently, we support that person's self-deception! From materialistic point of view, it is a win-win situation.... It is only when the life span gets used up, the truth dawns... by itself... old age suddenly appears to be a vast isolating emptiness, a large-sized loneliness... people start wondering .. what went wrong... when? Where?... the mind refuses to even 'look' being so scared of that self-deception becoming 'uncovered'...

Coming to honesty itself... please look at this question: Is it possible for the eyes to fool the mind?

How honest this question seems! The 'preparedness' to see things 'as they are'...! See, .... 'I am not going to spare ..... even my own eyes'... from that 'scrutiny'... Something like the police commissioner himself, insisting on a thorough security-check of his own self, by the staff at the main gates !

But, is it 'reasonable' to even question the eyes thus? Is the eye capable of being dishonest? Like.... 'His words are so deceptive'..... No.. no.. not HE... he is a good fellow (at heart) only his-WORDS... Like that intermediate boss serving that charge-sheet, or a pink-slip, only being 'duty-bound to do it' (personally hates to do it... but what to do... duty .. you see! ).... This kind of deception works so well with adults... small children do not fall for it... they look at the body-language, and see the intention, the emotional truth beyond the words...... beyond the logically-appealing words!

The question just led me to think about that self deception, that I found in some people... taking a heavy toll... especially after the law says they are 'senior' ..... The worst part is that no external help is possible to console or counsel them... and by themselves, their nerves are too fatigued to stand the self-cross-examination now... the close people around... mostly children and siblings, just watch helplessly the unexplained gloom that this person undergoes brooding alone.... this person had been 'only' torturing oneself, sparing no pains, no efforts, to keep others happy, but now, some unknown sorrow seems to have gripped this person at this age, when agility has slipped away! (Here, I cannot help mentioning my admiration for the wisdom of ancients ! The very life-style, the way of life, insulated a person against such vulnerability to self-deception ... emotional one ....I mean!)

psn (4^th July, 2012)

Having raked up the issue, let us also briefly look at the innocence of the eyes!

Quote:

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Agw68G8WrGc22qOhW8HN6ISRHQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20120630232254AAFx62N

Is it possible for the eyes to fool the mind?

My answer:

When I saw that experiment at school lab, with that pin hole through a card board, a candle lamp on one side, and another white board on the other side... that inverted image... the doubt came for the first time... 'have I been seeing the world around upside down?'
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The same energy is light and sound at different wave lengths through that single cable coming into the TV set.... The range of our eye is limited.... our eye too has a shutter speed... When we read a sentence, the eye jumps from one word to the other, and cannot slide continuously over it!
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Now it is up to the mind to decide whether to allow the eyes to fool it!

Unquote:

A post-script:

We were about 4 or 5 kids..... I asked them, if they ever saw Mr.X... a person we all knew very closely, .... ever saw Mr.X laughing?.... “No!” was the chorus.... I too knew it too well... We were too young to even know about the existence of a concept called 'sense of humour'!... So, it was not surprising that I was tempted to try out if this Mr.X would laugh at a joke!... I tried, with this one.. “Uncle, please listen to this... one fellow was leaning from the balcony of that top floor of Qutub Minar, with arms rested on the low wall... The strap of his wrist-watch got loosened and the watch fell straight down, all the way... This fellow, hurried downstairs, and stood just below that balcony with palms stretched out facing upwards.... People asked him 'why thus?'... He said 'My watch fell from right up there, and I am waiting for it to reach down, to catch it safe on to my palm..' They looked quzzically at him.... He saved them the embarrassment, explaining further... 'I know, you would be thinking..... it would have fell long ago!... But you see, it was MY watch... I know better.... it runs 15 minutes late!”...

This uncle did not laugh.... instead he explained, and turned to ask me.... 'So what? That is the level of that poor fellows understanding.... what is there to laugh about it?.... you should never laugh at elders thus!... get going now!”.....

(My efforts did not go entirely vain.... the other 4 burst into laughter at this response!)...

I got my first lesson, and 'reasonably' early too..(for me!)... this lack of sense of humour, is perhaps a symptom ... also.... of that emotional self-deception having taken deep roots inside a person! (Too many people know both of us well, too well.... so I am unable to elaborate any further.... it is for everybody to see, that I was correct about him... past 85, beyond psychiatric help, all the goodwill he earned as a very amiable, ever-helping, honest, dependable person, did not really help him to even discover this self-deception before it was too late!)

For those who are annoyed about my personal story of this Mr. X....    please look at that Dean....  father of our heroine of "MunnaBhai MBBS"....   sense of humor...  outsourced to laughing therapy...  not much help!