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Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Priority

This very word makes me wonder whether it is a sheer coincidence that its use in English language leaves its competitors (the translated equals in other languages), far behind!
As an example, ‘Top Priority’ has a matchless impact! We turn to another capability “communication” and its skills that necessarily complement priority.
Perhaps it is the complexity of communication, its skills, further compounded by diverse priorities, its shifting nature that decides many things about life.
Many things about life that matter, include attitude towards life, handling of situations, mutual relationships, etc.

Marital relationships and Priorities:
Mutual relationships are most vulnerable between spouses, when there is a mismatch of priorities! Communication skills could at best help sustaining relationships for a longer period, by ‘camouflage & concealment’ techniques, in trying to reveal this mismatch. But again, at the cost of nurturing a distrust!
Whether it is about spouse or spice, we are more tolerant than the western world!
Giving a patient hearing, with some emotional empathy has not been a ‘priority’ in the materialistic western world. So, psychiatrists thrive, doing this, for a handsome fee, for the patients. So, it is just that if we are unable to accept that ‘patience pays’, we end up as patients who pays!
When marital relationships become strained, we try to find out ‘who is wrong’. The answer seems to evade us. Then we try to find out ‘what went wrong’. Still, a solution seems to elude us! Now it is time to shift from wrong way of searching for a ‘wrong’ or right. It is not about comparison or gradation. It is about clarity. It is about priorities that could be just unique or diverse. Perhaps a solution is now well within reach.

The ‘Priority-factor’:
It is the ‘priority-factor’ that decides and also connects the sequence of our goals, short term & long term goals, culminating into success of our ultimate goals.

Some situations:

A leading, popular and very successful mobile company perhaps understands the complexity of communications only too well, and so markets too many models, and claims that it is ‘connecting people’ and prefers to call its retails outlets as “Priority” !

Shifting priority—A journey is important, when we compromise to enter the jam-packed unreserved compartment of a train. Later, we ‘think’ of good place to stand in the crowd, then if we can squeeze into a seat, then even about sleep! Now if the sleep needs to be ‘sound’ we look around for an innocent looking ignorant idiot, persuade him to take care of our luggage, and even ask him to remember about waking us up for meals-station or our destination!

Children, are not really good at ‘handling’ even their few priorities. We find them too impatient, testing our patience in turn! On the other hand, when a person handles multiple priorities well, and simultaneously, we call him a ‘mature’ person.

When a person meekly surrenders his/her priorities, he/she becomes a ‘good’ husband/wife.
A good teacher, a good parent to a child is also sometimes surrendering of priorities though such priority would have been in the best interests of that child’s future!
“Good” is bait offered for hunters of scapegoats who are willing to surrender their priorities. Thus, self respect, dignity, human rights, civil rights etc vanish from the list of priorities when a common man deals with police, courts, politicians, municipal corporations, tax authorities etc.

Between spouses, we are often surprised that individually ‘ideal’ couples end up as mutually-incompatible mismatches! The problem aggravates to a chronic & acute levels when ‘temporary’ priorities produce ‘lasting’ results called children (again a resultant and longer lasting ‘priority’!), and then, even the mismatch of basic priorities deter a separation or even a divorce. Also the diverse culture of our country does not easily support divorce! The ‘compromise’ now demands a heavy price!

Prioritize priority:
A deeper understanding of our goals, evolving a structure of priorities, makes life a bit easier. Ability to also understand the priorities of others and of the situations, and flexibility to adjust & re-align our own priorities makes our lives more happy. When a person places the priorities of others well above one’s own, and thus shifts slowly towards a state of ‘choice-less-ness’, coupled with a deeper perception level & sharp levels of alertness & awareness, joyousness pervades into one’s life!

Success in life, in a way, is about the success of the priorities, by the priorities, for the priorities!

A response, either way, if evoked by this, may be indicative of ‘priority’ becoming a priority!

Psn(3-12-2008)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I realise that in making my own spiritual pursuit my top priority I am being somewhat selfish in demanding more attention from you. I am being more selfish by paying less attention to my wife's emotioal needs. But Sir, I seem to have come across the advice many times as I have come along this path, especially in Sai Satcharita that 'the Guru is the real mother, father, wife, son, friend and all these are to be abandoned and the Guru to be chosen'!
Deepak (Feb 16th 2010)

brij said...

We all have a set of priorities and we also define them in a order as what is on top and so on and so forth.Each one us has a different priority and the order too is different depending upon the goals that we set for ourselves and the state of mind that we are in.
Priorities do change with respect to time and our state of mind. What may have been a top priority for me in my childhood, like listening to the cricket commentary of a cricket match and follow it ball by ball may not even be in my priority list at all in this stage. Secondly, it is not necessary that all my actions are also in the same order as my priority list. e.g. To pursue my spiritual journey may on my top priority( a bigger cause with a bigger effect) all the time but i may not be able to give any time or the required time that is necessary to make progress, as i may have to attend to a priority that may be low down the order ( a smaller cause with a smaller effect). Time sometimes plays a vital role in regular shift of the order.

Priority evades--Sometimes we have to let go a priority with a smaller cause and a smaller effect in view of the bigger priority.as in the case of the spouse.we are happy to surrender to lose an argument(small cause having a small effect) in order to retain our marriage(bigger cause having a bigger effect).

Prioritize a Priority----That i do my prayers two times daily is my priority. There are times when my family wants to go for a movie at that ti times when i m exhausted time, there are times when i feel exhausted after the days work and don't feel like spending the hour that i normally do. I have to let go of this tiredness and say my prayers in order to get this fact accepted by my family that come what may i will do nothing other than my prayers at that particular time.Again letting go of a smaller cause with a small effect in view of the bigger cause ( my spiritual pursuit) with a bigger effect.