A Yardstick to measure my_tolerance levels.
( if it seems to be of …..‘a likely to be useful one' ….I can feel rewardedπ)
A chance occurred for me to meet my school classmates, I missed meeting them since 1969-70.
Obviously, I started wondering!
We were kids from 5 years of age to 15/16.
We were ignorant of our innocence too π€£( though it worked too well, to tolerate the eccentricities(ΰ€¨ΰ€ΰ€°े) of each other π)
Now, the distance between the other two points of two straight lines touching each other at one of its points ( an angle, we say in geometry) was small when we two were small straight lines π€£. Now we elongated in 56 years to the extent that the open ends are far away from each other. The meeting point was in kindergarten only π
1)Will I be able to transcend ( or at least keep aside for a little while) my_own_eccentricities when I meet them?
2)will their expanded/magnified eccentricities prevent them from tolerating “me”? Perhaps they use the memory of my_kid_age image they carried for 56 years and would have concluded “I was constrained to tolerate this fellow, since I was a kid, and couldn't get rid of him. But now I can decide for myself. Intolerance, by itself, towards this wretch is not a Cognizable Offenceπ”
I can only try to become amenable to others. Keeping my eccentricities ( negative emotions) under control, so as to avoid causing a ‘needless’ inconvenience to my school mateπ.
I tried to conceptualise it.
If I can manage to become a kid yet again, despite the emergence out of my ignorance ( of kid age), and find my friends tolerating me even now, I am doing well, proportionately! ( Eccentricities multiply by itself. Tolerance is never a default_habit, though the attributes to any amenable person ‘seems’ to be his_habit π. Just loosen a few nuts and bolts inside the ‘head’ of Mr Amenable, and we get to see a giant volcano which was sleeping for years!π.
I also kept in my mind, “meeting old schoolmates is precious because it is a non-commercial, emotional and unconditional occasion to re-live the innocence of our kid_age, and hence, it is enough for me to stay within acceptable level of civilised social norms, and not bother about any_possible ego_problems crept into any others”
A useful Yardstick for measuring myself π. I am not under any external constraints to tolerate the ‘other’ π. And my tolerance is exclusive of how I handle the outside situation ( namely an old mate).
Of course, if I get stabilized in my emotions, to that extent, I obviate dependence on any Yardstick π
Tolerably yours,
psn(18 Feb 2026)
Post script:
A joke( but real)
School mates of LKG are like 'lab conditions' ( innocent kids).
About 8 years ago, the daughter of my niece lamented "my mother-in-law is so difficult to be satisfied π... However hard I try, she points out some non-existent error in my house keeping!"( She is a good girl, quite amenable, hardworking and non-complaining. With her husband, she is very happy! Kids well groomed)
I asked : "your husband's very close friend is your neighbour, isn't it?"
She :"of course! They are neighbours because of friendship, not due to convenience π³"
Me: "that friend's mom.... Complaints about her bahu?( d-in-law)"
She:" yes! Always. But she likes me very much! So tells me everything π"
Me :" okay! Now tell me, does your mother in law like that friend's wife?"
She : " oh yes! Very much! My mom-in-law even tells that girl against meπ"
Me:" do you not see the root of the problem? The 'role' assigned to those 2 elderly women? ... They are supposed to play 'villain/vamp' to their own bahuπ(d-in-law)!... So nothing wrong with any of the 4 ladies. The neighbour's mom likes you. Your m-in-law likes the friend's wife. Good friends!"
She :" oh God! π₯΅... Never occurred to me π. Right π"
Me:"just enjoy the rebukes! Only filter out the genuine criticisms, rectify with deep gratitude. Inwardly applaud the 'role'! Not easy to play a villain role so well, that too in real life!"
( Now that old lady is no more. But fewer bickerings thereafter π)
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