Our cache memory

 🤣

Suppose I happen to write something that looks like "yep! Worth using this piece of suggestion 👍"

After 5 years, if I repeat this again you will appreciate+ forget it again ( what we felt as 'yes! It's so true' 😜

And, of late, preachy stuff is causing indigestion, nausea and we even vomit, by "forwarding" 😜( CopyPaste & forward is serving the purpose of "ah! I got rid of it 👍....now I can forget it")

At a 13 day yoga program, the teacher delivered 'lecture' for 2 hours daily. Each word was designed very carefully, sequenced like a software meant to last a lifetime, and bug free🙏. Participants forgot it the very-next-day,  by replacing it with that-day's fresh stuff.  (After 6 months, I casually cross-check with a fresher "do you set the 4 conditions of Pranayam daily?" And he stares back, asking "Whhat?.... Only for meditation we were told 4 conditions to be set isn't?  Was it there even for pranayams???". And I start all_over_again 😜)

If I 'really' am able to accept something, why am I not able to retain it in my cache memory?( I don't keep chanting my own name and mobile number. But, it there in the cache_memory and when a 'gourmet_aafeesar'/govtOfficer asks, I chant it by 'default' 👍🙏...

A gadget has a limited cache memory. But ours is expandable! 🤣

Don't I want to be guided by life sustaining basic values?

Coast guard guys in cold countries are trained to get a phrase "keep swimming" into their muscle memory 🙏. Life saving Chant 😔.  Hypothermia sets in when they try to rescue a drowning civilian in freezing sea water. The organ brain doesn't work. Muscle memory works. Last few thoughts of last 15 minutes keeps repeating in a loop, like our compu-Server when 'hanged'. Swimming helps survival, not-inaction/no-response!

 The moment I sight a junk_food meant for me to eat, I need to be guided by cache memory "junk....just taste it, not fill up the stomach with it. It gets absorbed better on a very_hungry/starving stomach, NOT when just_vacant/empty 😜"

Lest we forget to breathe, mother nature decided to make it an embedded software. But we misconstrued it as 'no need to remember that I should breathe' item, and we struggle to 'be aware that we are breathing' 🤣.  

Breath-awareness keeps slipping within nano_seconds. ( Why_the_hell should I be aware that I breathe??? Good koschan/question. Please ask a spiritual person, I ain't competent to explain, though I revere it🙏)

"What are you doing right now??"

Factual reply is "nothing, just idling"

Truth is: "I am breathing and I am contributing for greenery to survive 🙏 My exhalation is precious for their inhalation. It's botany 👍"

Cache memory is precious 🙏. I realised this, and asked my mind to make-space for basic values instead of negatives 🙏 

Basically yours,

psn(20 Feb 2026)

My guess about: the-why of a generation Gap

 We don't try to question a generation gap between latest versions of a 'gadget' (unless a bug has crept into the latest one! How we handle the bug is our affordability, viability, feasibility etc).

Whereas, we are (without exceptions), bogged down due to the incompatibility we 'experience' between the previous & the generation after us !

I tried at a precise brevity about what I deduced (despite being afflicted by the 'gap' myself 😜)

"ever increasing COMPLEXITY of our mind"

If this statement meets non-acceptance in a reader's mind, please abandon the time and effort to read any further 🙏

Complexity, by itself is not a problem. The inadequacy of ability in handling it is🙏

And when the 'emotions' get riveted at one type of complexity, rendering us incapable of any-other emotion, we become a challenge for even the best psychiatrist around, and he ends up 'trying to merely managing our emotional imbalance, even using a confinement if necessary!  😜 (the inadequacy of tools is perhaps a major hurdle for medical science for not discovering a solution to restore emotional balance in a patient🙏). Most cases of ill-health in our minds, can be easily traced to emotional issues, the unresolved inner-conflicts, than the logical imbalance itself, in exclusivity of emotional issues.

Ancient vehicle of transportation was a bullock-cart ( Mockery phrase "bullock cart people", is an easy evidence, used by the 2nd generation after us, usually)

Today's vehicles are many. (a jet-liner, as an example for illustrating the 'complexity' in mind)
The driver of a bullock cart, goes for a nap (auto pilot) and the jet-liner's pilot too takes a brief rest using the auto-pilot mode. The complexity matters, only when something goes wrong! 😜 As also when the sense of responsibility pops up an apprehension like "what if....   something goes wrong?" The bullock cart driver can foresee almost-all the possibilities of "going wrong"  situations, whereas the pilot's mind races through a hundred-plus dials in the cockpit, while he scrambles for remote assistance, and also prays hard, that the connectivity of gadgets with the control tower and the person handling it is capable of control over his-own-mind, to handle the situation going out of control!

"Pure mathematics" as a specialisation at post graduate levels got phased out when our computational abilities got complex-enough to handle the volume and intricacies 😊. But, we managed to maintain awareness about the significance of "basics" involved and the distinction that can affect the complexities.  Our maths is 'decimal' where as it is outsourced to a machine that uses 'binary' system!

Are the basics of our emotions sophisticated adequately enough to handle the complexities of 'life' we wove around us (for whatever reason!)? Our minds couldn't do-away with emotions and ironically, the gadgets we depend upon evades the programming that can mimic human-emotions, needed for mutual compatibility 😜 (I happened to notice a distinction in the emotional disposition affecting the physiology between 2 sets of samples around me, observed for a sizable length of time, belonging to the same gender 🙏. Exceptions exempted!  A few ladies, due to compulsions of situation, stuck to a little old-fashioned desi-lifestyle.  The other set of ladies managed to emerge victorious in competing with their male counter parts, in deciding upon a non-traditional life style. The second set even demonstrated very successfully that 'freedom' is possible from the traditional and enslaving life-styles. The physiological consequence of invading into the arena of courageously swimming across a highly-complex life-span, did have an adverse impact on their physiological well-being.  With the females of next generation attempting the superficial temptations offered by this new-found-freedom in the 'modernized' females, decidedly  started off on this journey of pursuing the complex-life-style a bit earlier than their immediate predecessors. If i sound a bit preposterous and/or indulging in gender-partiality, please look around at the occurrences in the cases of mismatch of mutual compatibility resulting in breaking-up of relationships, including the instances seeking a legal remedy thereof! Nothing wrong with any gender.  Just that, mother-nature decided to be abundantly-liberal in granting emotional- sensitivity, strength and a potential to evolve endlessly to the female gender. May I remind that the very 'title' assigned to human females in our desi tradition is "shakti"/power 🙏.  Emotional shakti/power is only a potential not a functional & embedded software 😜.  Even a very 'casual' look at the functionality in handling a situation in routine life is enough to convince us. Multitasking comes naturally to a female, whereas, single-pointed-focus works better for the male counterpart. 

Ancients, in their wisdom, (my guess only 🙏), had perhaps foreseen the trend of mind losing a grip on its basics, and failure to preserve the emotional strength, in its mad-rush to dive into the fascination lure of indulging into complexifying itself, and getting lost into the maze of dead-ends of logic, and therefore decided to preserve the wealth of their hard-earned wisdom using genetic engineering 😜. Evidence: Moksha, the ultimate human possibility is still prevalent, though in microscopic numbers, and inversely proportional to the minds-that-became-complex, in any cluster of human society. Hinduism, (a misnamer for Sanatana Dharma, a science) as a gross evidence has outlived all other kinds of societies, religions, races, etc, and has stood the test of time. Essentially, emotional training was sought to be synchronized with cosmic laws (the 4 declaratory truths) by the ancient scientists/rishis, using varied and highly sophisticated tools, interwoven seamlessly too! 
I had attempted to summarise the entire syllabus of ancient gurukulas/schools, into 4 brief subjects-topics.  I can only add here,  a query, instead of trying to impose my guess-work, leaving the reader to examine it with a sharp fault-finding & complexed mind 😜.  Question: "are these 4 not dependent on an emotionally equipoised mind, to attempt a mastery on these?" 

Even my frail attempt to simplify the root-cause of complexity in our present day minds, has ended up in adding to the confusion caused by the existing complexity, I concede😕. 
All I can humbly suggest is "clarity of mind is even today, heavily dependent upon our ability to retain the basics of life, in our 'cache-memory'."  Try dealing with cleaning the cache memory if you like👍 Doesn't cost anything at all!

Simply yours,
psn(16 Feb, 2026)

Tail-bit:  A few people do attempt to bridge the generation gap 🙏. The attempt is from either side or in rarer cases both (present and previous generation). 
Ask them.  What is the 'tool' they are likely to hit-upon, whenever/wherever they meet a little success? Logical tool, and/or attempt to bridge the emotional-gap??? (In either case, the response of a positive result is invariably in an emotional expression, not a logical-compromise 😜 😍.  If this is factually true, the clue is also within the same result 👍. The faculty of reasoning in our logical mind compromises enough to concede that "we humans cannot do away with emotions, and still hope for the ultimate freedom called moksha") 

How to ask God, a boon?

 How to ask God, a boon 

🤣

Even for those, who are bold enough to assert “there is no God” ….. “A.I.” likens a God today, though at its primitive stages only.

I tried 2 searches on Google, now "A.I." enabled:

1).”selfseekers p s Narayanan” 

A.I. results were surprising. The results did include reference to the blog page, but added ‘something' to the nature of contents in my blog 😜….   Without a “human like mind” the A.I. just_focused on ‘general theme” of my blogs 🙏😂😂. Something that my readers often missed 😓

2). My curiosity increased and I asked “does A.I. search give semantic results in relevance to the syntax?”.  And the results were “AWE” for me at least 🙏. It confirmed what I managed to guess ( the results ought to interest professionals in information technology, but I am inclined to pursue my agenda only😜)

 

Sanskrit is regarded to be in CONFORMITY with quantum laws 🙏….  Probably why, ancient “boons” where asked+granted using sanskrit 😜.   Got my hint?   Yes, semantic errors go uncorrected 😭

Case law:  after great ‘tapas’ a fellow asked “nidreVatwam” ( syntax error instead of ”NirDevatwam”. )   The cosmos( God) granted “tatah, Asthu”/be it so👍… and he fell asleep, having spelt “nidra” instead of “nirDev” 😜

This story of Kumbhakarna intrigued me 🙏 😥 “is there no way to avoid such syntax errors? Is the”Dharma/Cosmic laws” so_unforgiving?

Then I discovered the way out! Just leave it to the M.O.I.( most original intelligence) prakruthi/nature/cosmic intelligence….to decide What-to-grant me! 😞

It works 👍🙏

Trust is the emotion that syncs CLOSEST to the cosmos 🙏. 

The problem is, trust is a consequence of lot many positive emotions 😥.  I found a simplified formula even for that👍.  Just slog/strive/work/whatever, ….towards absence of the 4 negative emotions 😜. (Granting boon turns out to be the headache of the entity whose popular name is God.  I started to experiment it right_away, with a spiritual teacher, whose synchronicity with the cosmos &  I trusted him totally forgot this synchronicity.  When he asked me to choose a ‘boon' within the 4 he could offer, I responded “you are better than me to decide what is good for me🙏, so please decide that choice yourself!”. It worked 🙏 

So, as far as I am concerned….. “ ultimate intelligence”/U.I., grants results which actualises too….with relevance to the purity of the mind which asks( here, purity is ‘absence of 4 negative emotions only ‘🙏)

Very luckily, my earliest trial/experiment was with “aano bhadraah krtavo yanthu vishwataha” . It took a long time to yield results 😓. But it works 👍.

For nothing, yours

psn(15 Feb, 2026)

Curse of oldage

 Curse of oldage 

The curse of oldage is.....

Even in cases where a person has 40% only of negativity and 60 % of positive qualities....

Negative:   is "default" by nature, and requires no conscious effort to manifest. No health or energy needed😜 ( hence, it remains 'steady' and same as during youth/middle age)

Positive:  Cannot ever become "by_default". Needs conscious effort each time to manifest. With age and deteriorating health, weaker brain to coordinate, renders the functionality to decrease from 60% to bare minimum 5% probably with age, gradually 🤣

( Percentages are very imaginary, and highly subjective, but the phenomenon is real👍)

Result!?.....  40% looks like 95% ( over exaggerated in front of that 5% or even more 😜)

Frustration is inevitable when the youngsters exclaim : "of late, with age....you are turning intolerable 😓😓😓"( oldie wonders 🤔.... He used to like me, love me and respect me... _*what happened with_him_now?*_ 🤣... धूल चेहरे पर है, आईना अब भी वही है 😜)

Agedly yours,

psn (12 Feb, 2026)

Misinterpretation of Dharma

 misinterpretation of Dharma

Is it not time_enough that we rectify the most popular mis'interpretation of ancient advisories in sanskrit ( handed down to us from millenniums, and hence viewed as time tested🙏)

When the "text" could not be tampered, cunning minds resorted to popularizing a deliberately misinterpreted meaning 😂.

We might argue "well, I am NOT going to even touch it.... So, I am not affected by misinterpretation 👍".

 Such escapists are its worst victims.

*_the goal was to render the Minds susceptible to any other misinterpretation as well_*  😜

The "ability" to discern, distinguish and discrimination is sought to be crushed 🙏

Famous quotes:

1)Atithi devo bhav 

2)Matru/pitru/acharya, devo bhav 

These two are addressed to whom?

Popular version:  

1)Treat your guest like a God!( Pamper, please, trust that incursionist as well, if he poses like a ‘guest’ 😜… )

2) Treat your parents and teachers like your Gods, (no matter if they are actually an idiot, or devilish criminals 😜)

Somehow….. do we not find flaws, defects, or atleast difficulties and self-inflicted damaged, in blindly following the misinterpretation, merely because these interpretations are popular????

Not requiring too_much knowledge of Sanskrit, can we afford ourselves to make a simple comparison with other EQUALLY popular and VERY SIMILAR quotes,  with tamper-proof interpretation???

a) Ayushman bhava 

b)Sowbhagyavati bhava

c)putravati bhava

d)yashasvi bhava

Who is the “addressee” in these a)-to-d) ???

“May You be”... As a suffix to variable “long-lived/fortunate/with_vhildren/famous “

“Bhava” is “may you be” and not “be treated as”  😜…. Here is the ‘catch’

If 

1) atithi devo is “may you be like(behave like)” instead of “may you be TREATED like( by a gullible_fool)”... 

2) mom/dad/teacher devo is “may you be like(behave like)” instead of “may you be TREATED like( by a small kid, utterly innocent, too small to be burdened with a Heavy load like “Treat your dad/mom/teacher as_if they are your God 😡😡)”... 

then,

the addressee gets rectified and interpretation SUSTAINS without any collateral damage, caused 😜

Most importantly,

we get trained into a “rational thinking” …which really matters 🙏

Bhavami Yours only, ( may I be, yours)

psn (12 Feb, 2026)

Anti-disclaimer: Obviously, I am morally duty bound to accept any Valid criticism for my attempt to persuade a refinement in ourselves, using a flawed argument if any 🙏

Punch: I am quite UNAPOLOGETIC about one thing, for sure…. Come what may💪!!

I shall respect only elderliNess (of any age, even a kid), and not Elders( by age alone, bereft of any wisdom) beCause even a donkey aged😜. 

Jallad/जल्लाद like Guru

 Jallad/जल्लाद like Guru

🤣

I feel aweFULLY (sense= maximizing the ‘some’ in “awesome”) blessed to have been under an Executioner_like teacher 🙏, for 5+ years in the proximity! Utterly merciless 🤣. Torturous!

His best armour (bullet_proof jacket) was, he never insisted us,  on doing anything we were told to_do…😜( if you can't tolerate me, you are free to leave 🙏). And we, our commitment was the material for his bullet_proof jacket to defend himself against our anger, frustration etc, which spews like a volcano 😥, when he makes us do things like( mild samples only, mind you!):

a)Breathe through alternate nostrils without using fingers to block the other nostril 

b)Meditate with open eyes( we had barely managed to settle down into “CONSCIOUSLY withdrawing the sense_organs…🙏😭… eyes, the toughest to withdraw seeing_even_when_looking. Or, looking without seeing .

b(1) look_to_see, but see the emptiness ahead of you at 2 feet or so.

c)Ask your stomach to press the “pause” button of digestion, do the meditation and then release the pause button to allow stomach to resume digestion ( one type of meditation is on empty stomach, not a hungry stomach 😜…. and if we missed the med and ate, this instruction 😭🙏)

d)sleep without missing yourself totally ( 😡😡😡. Imagine 🙏, he doesn't allow us even a peaceful sleep. Even Condemned_cell prisoners are allowed to sleep like_a_log )

e) more such & more torturous practices 😭( subtle ones, hence they evade a verbal description)

Worst vengeance on us, the early_birds, was : the participants who enlisted after the first 8 years were let off with “deluxe Yoga programs”( too mild, too simple, damn_easy, and no harm in using ‘pause’ button any often and re-start by choice 😡).

( Probably, this vengeance of my teacher was a grudge (खुन्नस) he carried forward from our togetherness of our past lives 😭।

Ofcourse, there is always the cosmic rule “Dharmo rakhshati Rakshita”  He did his guru_dharma and me my_dharma to a possible extent। Sanatan Dharma was constrained to bless both of us, guru_shishya pair😜)

Cursedly yours,

PSN(10 Feb 2026)

Compatibility issues between spouses

 Compatibility issues between spouses

A reader is going to ask me “who the hell are you, to assume competence to talk about this subject?”

I am not competent enough.

But I had a chance to look at my parents right from my kid age 😥. And, I am not divorced as yet, since 4 decades😜

Even notionally/emotionally–Estranged couples shoot this question to their parents who were stubborn about matching of horoscopes “what happened now?😡” (Astroger had certified that horoscopes match excellently👍🙏…. Still the couple is not happy with each other, especially after the magic of physiological attractions faded in a very brief period 😥)

Some people try “after sales service” from the astrologer. (Meanwhile, in all probability, he himself is facing the same issue between him & his own wife😜). Joke: astrologer blinks, when asked: which fool matched the horoscope of Ram & Sita?” Well, they faced every situation together, not in mutual conflict😜.  It is about mutual compatibility, not a silk_smooth life in comfort zone 🙏

Spirituality is not meant for solving compatibility issues between spouses 🙏. Yet, the insight might help offering clues which the later generations of astrologers ignored to learn🙏

My guess work(to the extent I discovered/learnt):

1)well matched horoscope failing & omitted cases of looking at horoscopes, being–successful 🤣 ( now…. interesting? 😜)

Well, horoscopes and the astrologer, if both are exceptionally good (this itself is rare🙏😭), they match only one out of 3 essential ingredients requiring a match.

Our minds are foremost to become compatible (even if one spouse hates a running fan while sleeping and the other needs fan_air compulsorily, a matching ‘mind’ might adjust 🙏. Physiology has mutual problems 😜)

Mind, at the today's legally permissible age of marriage, becomes an unbreakable block made- out of the three ingredients in uncertain quantities each & aggregately.

a)Own karma of past( praarabhda karma, carved out of the godown of Sanchita karma) the wandering spirit, mind, soul, whatever is seeking a vehicle (body) for its unfulfilled desires 🙏. Today's astrologer is “stuck” at finding a match only for this aspect of the mind/karma, using the horoscope, and the science behind it 🙏. Today's astrologer forgot ‘how to match's or atleast request his customer to ‘also match, b) & c)”

b) inherited karma…. Parents ( if there is, a lineage also🙏…. Genetically, memories influencing a mind, is proven scientifically —a video clip : Ghost in your genes— has influence) contribute to the mind, right from womb, until they are together.

c) Acquired karma 😜…. Now-a-days, world_wide_web or WWW, that too, AI enabled, apart from homes, neighbourhood and schools/college/colleagues/friends & enemies/well+ill wishers, contributes to the tendencies of a mind 😜

The uncertain mixture of this mind is trying to find compatibility with another gender of uncertain mixture of that_mind🤣

A tiny advantage in the ancient days was = child marriages , to a large extent managed compatibility issues of b) & c) . I must drop a mention that a family priest used to be highly qualified in astrology until 200 years ago in Bharat. He audits therefore, a), b) & c) , sincerely, honestly and thoroughly 🙏. Today's priests don't know the scientific effect of even the chants they use, and tutor their ‘victims’ to repeat.

The topic is such that I should leave a reader at this🙏. ( He can add anything on his/her own, and choose to respond or not with their feedback.

Compatibly yours,

psn(10 Feb , 2026)

Hungry stomach

 Hungry stomach 

We often mistake an empty stomach as ‘hunger’ and invite dis_ease by filling it up with ‘something'! ( It is not meal time😂).

This ‘something' is less harmful if it is fruit. But, we love junk! Tastyness is far more compulsory when there is zero hunger. Junk always tastes better than natural foods like fruits, carrots, etc.

I googled the difference.

“my experience” may not be so_appealing like Google A.I.

So I copy paste google🙏

If, by chance, we get interested further, find a genuine practitioner in spirituality 🙏 . He will guide better👍

Quote 

An empty stomach is a physical state occurring 2–4 hours post-meal when the stomach is clear, often beneficial for digestion and health. Hunger is the physiological signal (triggered by the hormone ghrelin and low blood sugar) indicating a need for energy, often accompanied by stomach growling or contractions. 

Key differences include:

Physical State vs. Signal: An empty stomach is merely the absence of food. Hunger is the brain receiving signals—via the hormone ghrelin and low blood sugar—that it needs fuel.

Physical Sensations: Empty stomachs may not feel uncomfortable, while hunger often causes physical contractions, rumbling (borborygmus), lightheadedness, or irritability.

Purpose: An empty stomach allows for bodily purification and optimal function. Hunger is a survival mechanism to ensure nutrient intake.

Timing: An empty stomach can exist without hunger, and one can feel hungry (due to cravings or habits) even when the stomach is not truly empty. 

While an empty stomach is generally considered healthy, true hunger is the body's call for sustenance. 

Unquote 

One disadvantage to doctors and medical shops is, those who eat only_when_hungery, are unremunerative 😭…. More people healthy, is less business for medical professionals 

Hungrily yours,

psn(10 Feb, 2026)

Post Script.

The hidden agenda of this blog is spirituality bijness 😜….  My blogs are to market spirituality, which is the most_lossMaking_bijness🙏. Zero profits.

If more people are there who know what hunger “feels like” (not via intelligence or GnawLedge/knowledge), the scope for temptations towards spirituality is better👍. Partially sick fellows easily escape my trap 😜

Tragedy:  most of the spiritual practices require an “empty” stomach, not a hungry_stomach. But, we never allow the stomach to remain hungry 😥. It suits doctors, not spiritual servants 🙏😭

Handling own Karma

 Handling own Karma

Ultimately, my experience of life decides how I enjoyed or suffered my life isn't it?

Unrealistic “desires” seemed to me, to be the only Major hurdle.

Mind which remains stuck to such unreasonable desires won't allow the ‘experience' of the present moment to soak in FULLY ( as far as I am concerned)

Mind decides upon desires using 3 major sources, mainly ( as per traditional suggestion)

1.praarabhda karma( accumulated+ unfulfilled desires of past lives)

2.inherited karma ( genes of parents and their lineage)

3.acquired karma ( influence of presently held desires chased by a) parents/guardian b) others around, throughout my life.

And, 

there is an UNMISTAKABLE choice vested in any human format of “life” as compared to all other life forms 😜. ( This was my huge clue!)

Almost on my_own_now….. happened when I was suddenly relocated far away from the people around me, who kept_on influencing me some_way_or_other. 

Exercise of choice ( as per my choice) gained maximum strength when I was left to decide on_my_own.

Workplace ( location away from all the present ‘influencers’ into my choices) seemed to bind my choices to some extent, owing to the contractual job obligations 🙏

My experience of how it happened with me:

I secretly, privately & personally looked at ill-fated privately employed youth around me paid far_lesser than me (1974).

Zero scope to_be vocal_for_local ( याने, private workers, same quality/qualification).

I decided " at least let me maximize my returns 🙏"

This parameter decided my intensity+involvement at workplace.

One hurdle popped up from union "your output is reducing job opporChutney for other unemployed 😡"

Without quarrel, I reduced/scaled down the visible_form of output😜.  ( Advantage: union guys aren't attentive enough to notice subtle levels of quality_performance....whereas stakeholders, that is customers noticed 😂.

No scope for "gratification" to clerks🙏. )

Focus on quality over 3 decades.... refused to deny certain qualities in me🙏 {slogging with "my" 100 intensity & involvement came to stay as a 'default' quality in me😓...   I was getting shaped for spiritual practices (from 1974 itself) which was to come only in 1992.}

My assessment of 3 decades of workplace.

1.all other life forms are 100% intense and involved during their whole life 🙏. Their karma is varied, but intensity is alike, to_their_own_best. ( Very little scope to accumulate new unreasonable/unrealistic desires 😜. Dissolve one_set of karma & quit). I was just freak_lucky to have chosen to get_lost_completely into working intensely with involvement. I replicated the attitude of mules😂. Mind_time unavailable to pamper desires.

2.continuity of this intensity at workplace ( paid hours) apart from stabilizing me into a pattern of mind, permeated a lot, incrementally, into my non_paid waking hours 🤣 

3.replicating this attitude of total involvement with intensity, BECAME effortless, when it entered my muscle memory ( body, as a whole, including brain, adapted this pattern)

4. Influence of others had lesser effect even post retirement ( I can ‘safely say so’ after 2 decades of “do whatever you like” phase of life, with a modest pension without working for it 😜🙏.  Yet, I am able to sustain MODESTY/frugality in my lifestyle, using the repetition of ‘fortunate than many others equally qualified’ wala thought 😔)

5. ( Several such items, likely to fatigue a reader🙏. Hence, the gimmick “etc, etc & etc”)

Mind turns meditative, with age and related infirmities. Brain functions slower. It suits to escape ‘processing’ of newer unrealistic expectations and desires 😜. Contentment seems like ‘default'. A cow awaiting a slaughter-house, or a neglected rotting, after it has ceased to yield its milk under captivity ( society, in my case🙏). Joke is, all other life forms die gracefully, inconspicuously and eco-friendly in their free-state, and I can't_desire to replicate them🙏. My intense practice of “death” as a guided meditation for 500 plus times, doesn't reassure me that I can do it at_will as_yet. At best, I may know “my game is over now👍” and it might reduce my dependency on traditional rituals as a free_soul 🙏.

Fortunately yours, 

psn(9 Feb 2026)