Obedience scares me

 Obedience scares me

I am an odd type of guy 😥

The “why” of  obedience of somebody unto me, trying to scare me,  is related to my brief experience of my life. I am just another living organism here. No 2 leaves are alike on this planet 🙏. Then what to speak of any 2 of the most_complex life forms, the humans?  My blabber, at the best, can only be a sort of guidance, and mostly to avoid the pitfalls that I faced, to be ‘wisely’ avoided by the other👍. Materialistic handling of life, for the sake of some kind of social order might need some adherence, relevant exclusively for the human species (all other life forms are ‘free' from the need of any social order, laws of any kind 😜. Nature has provided an embedded software in them. We are cursed to choose, what we do with our own lives😥🙏).

When I was a kid, I faced the remnants of eccentricities of a virtual joint_family (it was already fragmented in reality 😓). A few siblings of my dad lingered, by sheer reason of economic dependency 🙏, and ‘attrition’ from forced jointness(joint’mess’ actually, effectively) got automated, with no questions asked 😜. The ‘feeling' of helplessness in the dependency for food augured the seeking to look for an outlet for pent-up emotions😂.  A kid is visibly the most_dependent victim 👍. “Let him face the consequences of his dad's supremacy on us!”, became the logic….  

The brain churns out a logic to ‘suit’ the mind's emotional dictates (negative emotions or positive). And the negativity in the mind takes shelter under the justification accorded by brain, forgetting that the ‘end results’ of the project to be encoded were actually dictated by the mind in its design 😂

Commercial fear is perhaps the only dictator in today's mind, which designs a project and assigns it to the brain. (Fears can be of many kinds, owing to the desires and the mind's apprehensions of improbability of those desires not getting actualised 😜).  Anger, resistance and hate are mere by_products of this fear.

My kid age mind, somehow got entrapped into the seeking answers for the oddity noticed in the elders around. The desire itself got shaped into an exploration mode 😭. Historically, Explorers world over,  look at only a threat_perception related to survival, as a source of their fear 😜. Otherwise, exploration is the desire which assigns a project to their brains to do the ‘programming’ assisted by O.I.( original intelligence, or…. N.I., the natural intelligence 😓).

The rest of my personal traits were merely consequential, including the one that keeps asking “silly koschans” 😂. 

The biggest surprise came in my life, when a teacher in spiritual bijness paused his gaze into my ‘eyes’ for a couple of extra moments and then never bothered to fix his gaze into my eyes, ….ever! My surprise was at my own fuzzy, vague and yet a very FIRM ‘feeling’( yes👍… just an unexplained feeling ONLY) of a ‘kind_of_reassurance’.  My mind scrambled for a ‘word’ to describe that strange ‘feeling’ 😂. The brain conjured “YES” as the only available word in my memory godown that comes CLOSEST to describing it. The intellect in me is still unable to reason out the phenomenon, that matches the word “yes”!  

Then onwards, the journey of seeking (for answers, exploration of ‘truth’---whatever that damn thing called ‘truth’ means😥) got its direction reversed. Ancient guys labelled it(the direction)as ‘inwards’ …   But, all my input devices that I got used to were naturally “looking outwards”, outside of me 😓.  Even to ‘look’ inside within was without any ‘tool’ or an input device 😭.  My understanding was that the ‘physicality’ of the entire inside_of_me was automated and self_supervised. People around me vouchsafed this logic😂. A doctor is the one supposed to find out “what's wrong” with the inside of his ‘patient’. Even he consults another doctor to check his own inside! 🤣

The spiritual practices and tools provided by this teacher, during the next few days, weeks and then the culmination of it called “wholeness” in months, helped me to explore the inside 🙏.  

The tragedy is, the temptation to focus on the outside recedes ‘naturally', once I got busy with the seeking into the inside. The most elusive guy inside,  is this ‘life energy' ticking within 😂. When he comes under ‘the' focus ( ‘whose’ focus is no longer relevant 😜. It turns into ‘self’ and the rest of the guys within subdue themselves to this ‘self’.... The body and mind. I still don't know about the guy ‘intellect’ 😓. Is he a separate entity or a mere projection of the self, getting shaped at will, by the self? 

Oh!

Apologies 🙏.

I didn't really mean to confuse a reader 😥.

I was looking ‘out’ for someone who might have ended up looking within, similarly like me! It was a futile looking 🙏. A paradox, when a fellow being looking within is unlikely to look at my blabber which is his-outside for him🤣. ( At the best, somebody can only make use of my flaws and avoid it himself 👍).

Defocusedly yours,

psn(11 Nov 2026)

A tragic tailpiece:

Of late, I find disinclined to obey even my own mind 😥. (It's just a collection of my past experiences, isn't it? Nothing to do with intelligence). Whereas no moment is a repeat in the entire history of eternity. Each moment deserves a celebration, free_from_mind! Why should others obey my mind? To me, it seems like ‘passing on the buck’ I am obeying somebody, and let others share it. “Circular_circle” as a comedian said in a movie “Johnny mera naam”.  

Logic of old-age Home

 Logic of old-age Home 

😥

Please….

I am not ‘justifying’ it or criticising it.

Importantly, I am merely ‘looking' at 1 of the several possible reasons 😜👍

What my own experience says is….

a). I have both kind of ‘tendencies’ in me, good for others, and bad for others.

b). I keep oscillating between the two, positive and negative tendencies while invoking my memory and imagination, all the time 🤣. ( Brain does the ‘computing’ part as per my mind's instructions.

c). Typically, whatever is good in me, for others, requires a conscious effort ( never automated). Ironically, the bad in me for others, is by_default 😜… no conscious effort/focus/attention/awareness/etc is required 😭. It simply bursts out, called Re_action. 

d) Age reduces the energy in me ( natural).

Therefore, the good_unto_others, gets faded steadily as I reach old age😥.  The bad, doesn't wait for any ‘fuel’ to fire against others. It is relatively steady like it was, when I was young.

e) one of the good things that my_good used to do till I became old was, it curbed my bad from its deployment/functionality in a manifest form 😜. It is thus, that I could maintain a rosy picture as  a ‘good guy’ in the eyes of others 🙏. Now, the energy is low, and this goodness of curbing_my_bad is non_functional often 😭😭

f) the tolerance level of others gets challenged due to my deficiency in “e)” above🙏….   Safe option is : dump me into an old-age Home 😜. ( I have no “logic” with me now…to protest).

There are many other practical+ pragmatic reasons for an oldie to get relocated( even by themselves) to an old-age Home 🙏.

But this reason: bad becomes prominent due to good fading away, …. is inevitable 🙏.   

Remedy is toooo tough 🙏.  Spiritual tools, (with or without any help) needs to re_wire our innate kaarmic residues, tendencies, while there is still ‘youthful time,with energy’ 😜🙏🙏🙏

Badly yours,

psn(8 Nov 2026)

Quantum physics, confuses obviously

 Quantum physics, confuses obviously 

Very recently, we got to hear this term ‘quantum’ suffixed with ‘physics/laws/mechanics/entanglement/etc’

We average minds try to run away from any discussion related to it.

But that phenomenon is not going to spare us from its functionality ever 😜

Though it is tooooo premature to even guess, I am tempted to cook-up a bogus theory, as an example, that's easy on our average minds 😜

A few people exclaim : “I did feel that ‘something' is not normal with that person, away from where I am, and there was no direct communication.”  ( A son/mom/etc, ‘senses’ his father/mother/son/etc…. struggling to remain alive far away from each other.   Some war, accident, ICU-in-hospital, etc….the struggle is happening, and the co-experience/सह+ अनुभूति, is SIMULTANEOUS 🙏…. Without any lapse of time ….   Logic cannot explain).

Recent research:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jainendra_K._Jain 

Another recent work: The genetic code within living organisms can potentially be co-opted to store information. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DNA_digital_data_storage 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jainendra_K._Jain  

Is it not tempting to “guess” …..  The quantum concept might have been the closest to the process of evolution from the NOTHING-ness ( shoonya of ancient Bharat, blackhole of modern science?).

Down to earth instances :

A friend wrote about his own experience of life, having reached 75 plus.

And I was deeply impressed by his utterly simple/common/ordinary words….

I wrote: Beautiful "observation" 🙏, ( words are very normal/common/popular....   speaking from experience+ observation in 'self' makes that 'significant' difference 😜)

You said  ".....will change once material things of life take a back seat."

Abundant substantisation is :

"I am a simple example of the change” 🙏🙏🙏

( मेरा दिमाग़ बचपन में ही घूम गया था 😥।   शर्म के मारे बोलता नहीं था 😭)

UnQuote 

There is no ”logic” for”material things to take a back seat” 😜 ( yet, he did experience it deep, and goes through the consequences right now 😜🙏).

Logic:   what has “quantum “ got to do with this single, isolated incident in a single individual????  ( It is at best, only a shift of priorities, realising the impermanence of material things in life 🙏 isn't it???)

Reasoning :  what power could it be, that detached a mind from clinging to the material aspects of life???  The tug-O-war isn't yet concluded fully😜.

In case ….  it is the ‘life energy’ ticking within, that is yearning for a ‘freedom'???🤔. ( Ancient desi guys use the word “moksha”/liberation.   Can any inner freedom happen without realising the subtle shackles that bind the spirit?)

The most “basic” ingredient of existence? We are yet_to_prove it.  Can it be without that “quantum effect” keeping in CONSTANT-touch with the basic-ingredient called ‘spirit/atma/life energy???...  A wandering aatma, soul, bhoot_Aatma is already using quantum mechanics principle while chasing us, we the living guys, and the ghost_stories abound 👍 😜

I am equally confused like any of my readers with a mystic quote : “one who knows, does not speak and one who speaks, does not know”

I am okay with my present disposition 🙏 ( it feels like some quantum_infected guy echoing in me “hey! You are in the Queue”. And I know for sure, once in a queue, its only a question of time 👍.  And “this” queue kills the boredom of delay😜)

Just yours,

psn(8 Nov, 2026)

Handling limitations

 Handling limitations 

A new born baby is yet_to_think like we grown ups do 🙏….   ( No O.S./operating system, no software, and no data base/stored_memory, as yet.

Intellect functions unfettered 😜….

The kid discovers a pattern….

Mom feeds her milk when the baby cries👍

A non_verbal nascent concept is vaguely, fuzzily formed “cry.., to get milk”.  If it works, data is with integrity 👍, memory recall is situation based. 

Extension of the concept :  if food is a response to my crying, why not toys, etc ( intellect explores, new areas of application of the available sole concept).  

Next level:  try using the concept “cry to get whatever i want”, adding a limitation faced by mom.   Wait for the right moment 👍.  When mom is surrounded by many people ( wedding, hotel, crowded bus or train etc) “use” that Crying_technology as an emotional blackmail 😜.  ( Marlon Brando in “Godfather” movie: “I make a proposal which the other can't refuse”.  Blackmail!)

Adult stage intellect: 

Fiction : villain in a movie retorts to a heroine “ you removed the bullets. I am surrounded by cops. But only we both know that the gun is empty. I tape your mouth, point this gun on your head, walk off 👍”( limitations overcame). 

Real life:  the boss, unwilling to deny permission to leave early( my spouse needed to reach home before our 8 years old son finds the door locked, returning home from school), and instead imposed a ‘limitation’ saying “you may go early, but only after knowing the fate of upcountry cheques we presented in the local clearing”. Her motherly affection forced her intellect to handle this limitation 😜. She prepared the envelope with the address superscribed and said “this envelope works in both the possible situations, whether the cheque is paased or failed 👍. Only the  contents differ, not the size of the paper 🙂. Thank you for the permission Sir 🙏 “..  …. That boss got clean blowled. 🤣 

Situational limitations:  a doctor’s car caught in a traffic jam at a red signal ….

Doctor can think “I am in the car, I am not ‘the’ car 😜. I can bloody well get out, find an alternative to reach hospital, do the surgery, save the life 🙏”( option, handling a limitation imposed by situation)

Ancient desi guys of Bharat: Similar to the doctor, but much deeper: ”This body is mine, I reside in this body👍. But I am not ‘the’ body😜…  Let me use the body when it suits, and park this body  to  go out and do what I want and re-enter the body🙏”( Aadi Shankara did  it, and won the argument with Mrs Mishra, wife of the first pontiff of Shringeri mutt).

My teacher:  “Damnit 😡. Do you need a gadget like phone to reach me from a distance? Are you not insulting the ancient spiritual tools and technologies I taught you???”(His exact words were highly polished and soft 🙏.  I merely used my interpretation of what he ‘meant’.  No harm in trying, I thought 🤔.  But the confirmation came from ‘random freshers’ for whom I had volunteered for backup support “sir, it's a waste of time to keep on seeking our teacher's confirmation every time, about your response to our queries. He sounds like a Jherox/Xerox/fotocopy of your words a fortnight ago 🤣. Now onwards, it's enough if you reply”( too many instances to dismiss it as coincidence.  The difficult remains, however, to satisfy my “logical mind”.   Non_verbal thought_communications are like that baby responding innocently, in a no mind state🙏. Either via impulse or via intellect.

Modern science tells us, “use a greater force to oppose gravity and lift off or fly”. Ancient desi guys thought “intensify, focus and direct own pranic energy and become UNAVAILABLE to gravity 😜”( tougher task, but eco_friendly, cost_effective and everlasting technology 😜🙏🙏🙏

Unlimitedly yours,

psn(5 Nov 2026)

PostScript limitations:  I didn't learn how to invoke my intellect at_will.  As an alternative, I tried concept based thinking, as often as I can.  And, no hard_wired concepts 🙏.  That's what worked for me 🙏 😭

When money decides our relationship

 When money decides our relationship 

I saw a ‘forward’

Quote:

*In one night, in the ICU of a big Corporate Hospital in Delhi, two sons lose their fathers.*

For the two exhausted families, finally a shock bill comes: a suspicious charge of ₹11.5 lakh.

At 1:30 am midnight, the hospital's billing manager throws the last weapon:

"We will not release the body from the mortuary until the full bill is paid. Pay the money, otherwise the body will remain in the freezer."

*Son A* panics, cries with tears, and at 2:00 am early morning pawns his mother's gold jewellery and pays the money at the cash counter.

*Son B* says only 2 calm sentences.

After 25 minutes, the Medical Superintendent himself comes in person, sends off the hearse, hands over the death certificate, and releases the father's body without taking even one rupee.

Same hospital. Same ₹11.5 lakh pending bill. Same midnight mortuary lock.

*The only difference?* ↓

_*"Mortuary Hostage" trap.*_

Hospitals know that families in deep grief will be psychologically weak:

Relatives are waiting at home, funeral arrangements have to be made, you won't have the mental courage to argue about the medical bill at midnight.

So the billing desk uses the dead body as financial collateral to collect money immediately.

_*Legal truth:* A dead body is not a commercial property._

According to Indian law, the hospital has no right of lien over a human corpse.

Using a dead patient as a bargaining weapon is not debt collection - it is considered a criminal offence.

*Son A* succumbed to emotional blackmail.

*Son B* knew the laws and police procedures.

Here is a 3-step legal guide to break the illegal hostage trap of the hospital:

_*1. Supreme Court & NHRC Legal Protection*_

Look the Medical Superintendent in the eye and tell him the law:

According to the important judgments of the Supreme Court (_Pandit Parmanand Katara_ and _Mool Chand Trust_), under Article 21 of the Constitution, the right to live with dignity extends beyond life - a corpse cannot be turned into collateral for a debt.

Further, the Ministry of Health's _Charter of Patients' Rights_ (endorsed by the National Human Rights Commission) clearly states:

"A hospital cannot refuse to release a patient's dead body for any reason."

The hospital has the right to file a civil case for a legitimate outstanding amount, but has no legal authority to detain the corpse.

_*2. Criminal Law Pressure (Dial 112)*_

If the admin desk still refuses to open the mortuary:

Take the phone and keep it on the counter and say:

"According to Indian criminal law, holding a body hostage to extort money is a non-bailable offence:

- Wrongful confinement (BNS Section 127 / IPC Section 340)

- Extortion (BNS Section 308 / IPC Section 384)

- Disrespect to a corpse (BNS Section 301 / IPC Section 297)"

Tell them: "I am calling 112 right now. Let the local SHO come and examine why you are using the mortuary to extort money."

No hospital MD or Medical Director would want a police team entering the lobby at midnight. The mortuary lock will open immediately.

*3. "Without Prejudice" Undertaking*

Never sign a blank cheque or hand over original property documents to take the body out.

If the bill has arbitrary or inflated charges:

1. Submit a simple signed declaration:

"I am receiving the body of [Name] without prejudice. The disputed billing is subject to independent medical audit and legal review."

2. Ask for the original death certificate and Death Summary immediately (mandatory under Clinical Establishment Acts).

3. Take the disputed bill directly to the District Consumer Commission.

Courts usually impose several lakhs as punitive compensation on hospitals that use corpses as collection weapons (e.g., _Rashmi Mohapatra vs Apollo Hospital_).

*Son A* lost his family jewellery due to fear.

*Son B* knew the law and took his father home with full dignity.

Save this. Someone you know will need this in their darkest hour.”

UnQuote….

My response:

Trust will be lost, in the standby person of a patient, and the 'risk' taken by a doctor  hoping that the standby person will pay the expenses of a last_attempt to save life will be honoured.

Unending game 🙏.... "Who will trust 1st?"

For thousands of years until 2 centuries ago, the native doctor ( vaidJee) didn't charge a patient for his 'services'.  Cost of medicines were borne by 'someone' who could afford, either the vaidya or patient's well-wishers 🙏.

When paisa decides the relationship, trust is the FIRST casualty 🙏

Trustingly yours,

psn(5 Nov 2026)

Seeking

 Seeking 

There is a 'Natural order of things' 🙏 

A human being, a being of volitional consciousness, naturally begins to admire Creation (bulk of our sight seeing, pilgrimages etc are therefore owing to our emotional receptivity and the deepening of it 🙏).

Next level:  the creation overwhelms a person to such great extent that, ......  now he is interested in the CREATOR himself 😂

That thirst/inquisitiveness/seeking/whatever....is really insatiable, uncompromising, unstoppable 🙏

The history of ancient 'seekers' bears testimony to this 👍. 

For seeking of such kind, the preparation is going to be a bit rigorous 😥.

( Its just a thought 🙏)

psn (3 nov 2006)

Practices Versus Practical

 Practices Versus Practical

I was tutored into practices right from my kid age. It improved the dependability on me for the elders around, to manage me 😜 

Just managing is a bit different from caring and parenting. Practice a kid to do a certain routine and managing that kid becomes easy effortless and no_tension 😂. Even as an adult, that kid psychologically gets enslaved to a certain practice/pattern of behavior 🙏. ( I recall a cartoon joke: a thief chased by a cop makes use of the practice of the cop to stand in attention 😂. He puts on a song of the national anthem at a way side shop. The cop is habituated/hard-wired to respond to the anthem  and mechanically stands still , giving ample time for the thief to run away out-of-sight).

Somehow, my ‘chemistry’ was unable to adhere to any kind of imposition on me, in the name of a practice. I didn't develop any aversion either, to any practice 🙏.  I got a word for my oddity when I became a teenager 👍. I am being “practical” about this practices.  Luck favoured me in one routine practice in my household, when it suited me practically too😜.  I can eat food whenever I am told to eat👍. I am hungry enough, not just an empty stomach when it is breakfast/lunch/dinner time👍. 

At home, wishing a ‘good morning’ was never a practice. Whereas at my school, it was imposed as a “chorus” 😂. At workplace, I merely ‘opted’ to wait till the other guy squeezes out a return gud_mourning out of me, by promoting me with his own 😂

Irreligious Hinduism, into which I was born seemed to reassure me with “Hey kid, there are no rigid practices here, even about a ‘belief’ in ‘Gawd’. You are free to use your own intellect, and only that will work, not your mind, in being practical 👍” 

It is thus, that I discovered the justification for Brahmins consuming meat and liquor, on certain occasions during certain rituals, like offering their physiology as a magnifier to the invoked departed ancestor 🙏. AWESOME technology, at its peak levels of subtlety 🙏🙏🙏.

I cannot be expected to remain a vegetarian, if my employer transfers me to their office at North pole😜. I won't remain, if I try to remain as a vegetarian 😜….   If we can afford being “practical”( a very polite word for “being intelligent”,  it makes sense to see that my body is designed+structured to digest vegetables ( chewing teeth, part- processing with saliva, long tubes to-from stomach etc 🙏), and therefore, the body, brain, mind and intellect can coordinate better with a vegetarian diet 👍. When “survival” is the priority, grab and swallow anything that the stomach can ‘tolerate’ for_a_while, even junk_food. ( It is to tickle the intellect 🙏 that I coined a “silly” koschan/question, like “why is the offerings to a Hindu deity usually a junk_food, when the bulk of dishes for death anniversary rituals are ‘healthy'??” …  Sadly, the modern mind is made to practice “don't use your intellect 😡…  Ask A.I. instead 👍”).

Spiritual “practices” are countless 🙏. Even about sitting quiet, there are some 500 ways 😜, I am told🙏.

( I did an experiment with 1 ‘practice’ called suryanamaskar while trying it on a friend who was “scheduled” for a major spinal surgery and the doctor had instructed not-to-bend forward till then 👍.  After a few weeks of the broken format of ancient ’practice’ , to be practical, utilitarian and medically necessary, the surgery got obviated 🙏. Medical consultation was oftener than ‘practice’ to insure/ensure avoidance of any misadventure 😜). 

For sure, I understood that none of the spiritual practices will work unless we MAINTAIN awareness and do it as if it is our first-time and not out of any practice 🙏 ( this Composure of the mind, happens to be a main hurdle! Mind and intellect seem to oppose each other about the concepts of “practice & practical”. 

It's a good practice to avoid responding/replying/commenting on my blogs👍….  Other practices remain stable and firm in its place, which pampers a mind located in its comfort zone. ( Sadly, a genuine Guru is one who Unsettles a mind, disturb the mind 24/7 out of its comfort zone 🙏).

Practically yours,

psn( 3 Nov, 2026)

Practice of ‘tail piece’ now, 😥

Practical computing today

Bulk of “debugging” has turned into a practical_practice of cut-and-paste of a set of program codes, from an old software 👍. Intellect is sleeping —with a sign “do not disturb me”

My dirtiest habit

 My dirtiest habit 

I resort to utmost cunningness when it is about helping someone to grow even a micromillimeter, spiritually 😜 ( I am okay with any punishment I will get for this one act of cunningness 🙏). 

I used first person “my” in the title 😥. That's my cunningness.

My habit:  I tend to keep justifying whatever 

I did….

I am doing ….. or,

I plan to do …..

That's my dirtiest habit which prevents me from evolving further in my spiritual bijness 🙏 

( Justification has very limited use, existentially)

It's a hard experience.

I am trying to CONSCIOUSLY avoid obliging to this habit.   Avoiding a habit before it starts functioning is not going to be easy. ( A joke : Even the word “habit”.....  Try bit-by-bit, alphabetically 🤣….   

‘H’abit  

‘A’bit remains 

‘Bit’ remains

‘It’ remains 😂  )

( readers are at liberty to figure out “what's wrong with trying to justify/substantiating each and every action of ours”....  It's a hyper_sensitive nerve😜. I won't do that. “दुखती रग पर हाथ रख दिया” wala mistake )

It worked for me ( minimising the habit of justifying myself 😜)

Liberally yours,

psn(2 Nov 2026)

Civic sense

 Civic sense

We guys in India look at this sense (civic) as an alien 😜

We love chaos, quite unofficially.

Look at this unique qualification “this Mr X drives through the middle of our “Y” metro City and still he didn't meet any accident since last 10 years👍” ( the guys who give a PhD are zero competition to this ‘award’ 😜..,). Driving licence is not a qualification certificate 🤣, in real life 😞.

We protest ONLY  about a competitive exam, but NEVER about a qualifying exam 👍, if there is any kind of foul play like ‘leak’ of question paper, etc…. ( Best example: There is a test for knowledge of traffic rules before a driving test for a driving licence. Ever heard of any question paper leak? Does it mean there is no leak? It's because ‘anyway the licence holder is going to drive through only a Chaos….not a ‘traffic’, so that leak is inconsequential to both sides. And co-examinees simply don't care about others👍. A tout who does the job always has the (ever lasting) last_laugh, when a leak-culprit elsewhere gets punished 😜.

We ‘discuss’ civic sense only when we do not end up victimising anyone for the lack of it 🙏.  We owe this attitude to our ancestors who butchered the core values in our Irreligious Hinduism, quite unawares 😜. 

The worst victims of our present day's lack of civic sense are those who are honest to the ‘core’ ( they hang on to honesty and uprighteousness even_when nobody is watching 😜🙏). Until recently, an honest guy suffers misery if he is a staff in most of the government offices, especially where bribes abound👍. This guy is like a thorn in the neck ( perennial source of anxiety😥).

There was a time long long ago, in Bharat, when things like Civic sense, freedom, human or civil rights etc were superfluous 😜.  The unison factor replaced all these, INCLUDING a need_for_unity, alongside the redundancy of enacted laws which was obviated by the time tested tool of banishment/बहिष्कार 👍. The seed is still available,though dormant. Bharat's heritage as a spiritual destination 🙏🙏🙏.  A personal experience of one's own spirit within obviates all kinds of civility 👍. 

My guess is, we are a miracle among other nations, when none of the logical yardsticks are able to figure out ‘how this country runs so well despite so much chaos everywhere’ 😜

I am over_awed by the unanimity in the commuters of Bombay_local_trains( I don't know about “Mumbai”)🙏.  A mystic sense of brotherhood (only during the travel, a mystery in itself) demolishes every logic to explain the miraculous crowd, traveling thus, every 365 days an year, unmindful of whether there can be a solution for this super_chaos. Even I found travel through it in my kid days as ‘no probs’ 👍)

( I am myself unable to figure out how and why my spiritual pursuit survived so many decades, when  everything ‘needed’ to deter me, had always been there, around me 🤣…  Obviously, my blogs, though a reflection of my experience only, don't impress a reader to question me, my blogs or at least my lack of civic_sense in writing such blogs 😜. I failed to impress even my neighbours, when I did not use the storm drainage to drain the sewage from my home 😭🙏. By themselves, none bothered to notice it 😜).

Senselessly yours,

psn(30 Oct, 2026)

1 sure symptom of true friendship

 1 sure symptom of true friendship 

( Applicable to me, since I experienced a deep emotion, out of that fellows illogical act 🙏)

A ‘build up’( 😜):

Doctors grab at a “sure” symptom when tests are likely to be elusive in a diagnosis ( I don't know the parameters of ‘true’ friendship 😭)

A well paid nurse in an ICU for a patient, struggles to_be_with a patient….when the doctor says “50-50 only– Wait for 24 hours to decide even what can be done 😳” ( even that expert nurse might turn away from the patient, for 3 to 5 minutes… she knows, “no risk for her job” 😜)

Logic:

I am a very stupid guy. It's hard to please me with obligations 😥😥.  Forget “funding” my needs/desires/luxuries.( I can buy my ‘needs’. At my age wants/desires are a bit below the list of needs 😥🙏)

That leaves ‘me’ with very little ‘tools’ to test a friend's “true” friendship. 

Fact :

One crazy guy managed to surmount all these hurdles.

He demonstrated (inadvertently though) something that constitutes as a fool_proof symptom of his true friendship 👍 (unconditional because, neither of us find even a “scope” out of what he chose to do 😳, as a ‘benefit’ of any kind 😥)

The act : this guy didn't leave me alone for a week( that means, 24/7), during my exclusive visit to just_be_with_him 😳 ( no agenda). Oh yes! I was ‘allowed’ to be by_myself in the bathroom and toilet 👍. But at night, he slept beside me 🙂

This happened a few years ‘ago’.  No reaction or response from the ‘few’ to whom I told this👍. Therefore it is harmless even as a blog.

Rare kind of act,( though it  is damn easy for even a fool to replicate), … I am tempted to ‘treat it as sacred’( hence, no clues from me about ‘who that guy is?’... It shouldn't matter to a reader👍).

An easy symptom (when a friend is a ‘difficult guy to please’ like me😜) and yet rare to become a choice of ‘friendly guys’, is precious for me, 🙏 

That guy simplifies his choices. That must have empowered him to ‘celebrate’ my proximity, when there is no scope for any thing else…  “just be with ‘psn’ as much as possible 👍” .   And he did just that 😥.  ( It was me, who turned out this ‘beyond logic’ wala tough gesture as a true sign of genuine dosti 🙏)

Hopefully yours,

psn (30 Oct, 2026)