Becoming intense

 Becoming intense

My way of celebrating “luck” is when I myself discover my own stupidities (especially when there is hardly any scope for anyone else to notice/notify it for me🙏)

An example of my luck(stupidity discovered)

During our classes of Pranayam (breath related spiritual bijness), we were asked to “be with the breath”. Meaning, we should ‘be’ with whatever is happening with/due_to our breath.

Not quite easy. Nothing much about ‘breath' 😥. Anyway breathing happens, isn't it!?. 

Then it occurred to me. ‘hey, I might be missing something subtle, just because I ain't enough intense ‘

How to become intense? I tried ‘using' a thought “as if my life depends on it👍”(this thought used to help me while trying to do several dull routines, to do it a bit intensely 🤣).

Discovery of stupidity+ why I look at it as “luck”:  Being with the breath as if my life depends on it. Okay 👍….  Then I suddenly felt “what the hell??  Why as-if? Is it not a reality that MY LIFE DEPENDS ON MY BREATH???,😡😡… then why feign saying ‘as—if’?  Luck was, when I realised it🙏. The “effort” part got solved😜

Mere awareness helped 🙏. Intensity was effortless (during those spiritual practices at least 😥).

Nothing to brag about, as far as I am concerned. None of the other life forms are without intensity,    ever 🙏. Whatever they are doing.  Few creatures sleep effortlessly while standing, sitting or even hanging like bats😜. Obviously they sleep intensely ( not to be confused with humans sleeping like a ‘log’, unaware 😥🙏). 

This ‘intensity’ ( in experiencing whatever we go through), is perhaps related to ‘how well we remember it” 😜

We try_hard,  to forget only negative experiences often. Our “intense” experience of mental pain ( not physical pain) makes sure that we don't fail to recollect it oftener than necessary 😭. Otherwise, recalling is the problem, not the remembrance 🙏. 

( Students struggle to memorize data needed to be copypasted in the examination, because “worry” is more intense than the “text” lesson 😜. Want proof? Ask any fellow 40+ about how hard he slogged for his 10th or +2 eggjam/exam, and he easily can recall his stress/strain/struggle to score, but not what_he_wrote in that answersheet which fetched him a high_cutOff score😜🙏. Those few who learnt that lessons well enough with-concepts, will remember the answers, though they passed effortlessly!)

Intensity without the ‘negative’ fuel is the problem 😓. We are intense when tense. Dull/casual/careless when relaxed. This problem is a huge hurdle for spiritual practices to go through us, happen into us, deep enough! ( I personally tried “intensity without any purpose 😜. It worked & still works. Only problem is, some kind of mysticism engulfs me of late, when I intense my laziness. Maybe age related weakness)

Intensely yours,

psn(1 Jan 2026)

Postscript: probably, quietening of mind might help, to become intense at_will😜. That's my experience due to spiritual bijness 🙏