Make Up

I did not imagine that somebody would ask about the right age for wearing a make-up!

(I thought, now-a-days, they start it on, from day-one, and then we never know.... like some of those poor destitute girls, who never know when they had lost their virginity! I could not get over the thought of it, when I heard a dialogue to that effect in some old Hindi movie, years ago!).

There is no age for almost any dis-ease to invade us these days. Children cannot afford 'ease' even during their childhood. A “dis” ease strikes them. We have juvenile diabetes, hole in the heart, and what not. All those ailments which were expected to 'come' after mid-50's are now available in junior-sizes too!

So why forsake that 'make-up'...? (With that stupendous advancement in technology, surgery etc, most film stars are able to re-model their children as viable-stars with 'good' looks, a photogenic face, etc. )

The question gave me an opportunity to look at how I would like to view it, if allowed that freedom. Having stayed/swayed away from those make-up gadgets for too long, I felt it is reasonably okay, to talk from my experience, of how it feels.

Psn(21st June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110620193336AAq255i

What age do you think is the most appropriate to wear makeup these days?

I'm just very curious to see what most people think about this question. I see alot of people my age wearing makeup and i'm 12 years old. I think its developing an influence on me.. I'm starting to wear eyeshadow and eyeliner not too much eyeliner though. Eyeliner that actually looks realistic!! if you know what I mean by this!

Most of you guys are saying 13 years old. I'm turning 13 in July! :

If i did continue what I'm doing now, would i get even more acne then what's awaiting for me ahead.(Not saying that i do.. haha thank goodness)

My Answer:

See, the name itself is "makeup"...
It is a compensation for something already lost.... Like we say, "makeup" for the time lost in seeing a movie during school-examination study-period, by sitting late at night to study.
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Those baby powders are strongly recommended by doctors, to avoid itches for the baby, between thigh, legs etc, ... Now-a-days, they pin up a huge bag ("good upto 5 kg" even), when they don't have time to change nappies like old days for the babies. (I don't know if it is my luck/ill-luck to have missed such make-up in my childhood. The cost of those powders were relatively prohibitive, and even the thought of trying them out did not occur to elders around!)...
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Having seen villages at very close quarters, during childhood, I know for certain, that nothing can ever match the natural beauties, and the use of natural herbs etc during bath, to keep the skin so wonderfully clean, the pores so communicative with humidity of the atmosphere, that beauty seems almost an inevitable by product! (We spend almost the same time, at all most all the cages in a zoo, when no two animals are of same colour, same face-cut, size etc. They all look beautiful the way they are. Somewhere we seem to have created a needless competition amongst ourselves, and now we spend a large chunk of our hard-earned money, more than on our food, for 'make-up'. Not many would even like to read this, leave alone think of even accepting this 'idea'. In fact, any 'make-up' is an idea, a man-made-idea, and what I try to say is about accepting the way we are, the way nature made us!).
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Thanks for the question! The question itself was not a "make-up", it is natural, because of what we see around us now.

Hard or Hardly Spiritual

From what others used to comment about me, especially during the childhood days, I found it worth while to look at one comment that was a bit common. It was about the 'type' of some of the questions that I used to ask others. I was unable to understand what was so strange about the questions, then, at that age. The other usual comments which most elders say about most children then(we used to pool those comments, and then discuss them), used to be given only scant attention though after some due consideration (if it is so, it is so.... okay... what else to do about it? Was the usual approach, when such comments(the negative ones) did not accompany any practical suggestions). It is the 'type' of some of the questions, that gave me perhaps a good head start. But, whether fortunately or not, whether it was beneficial for me or not, none of them 'named' the 'type' of questions. Peculiarly enough, in those days, the general trend or attitude of the people that I came across around me was to ignore such questions, as something very irrelavant! Now, when I look back, I am able to 'feel' its tremendous significance, and also am able to view the people then, with a judiciously discrete angle. Fault finding attitude does not help at all.

All these observations are to give a feel of what the earlier generation would have looked like, to the younger ones of today. It has significance, when we try to ask why that spiritual training did not form a part of 'main' menu at domestic front , or how it dwindled over a period of time.

Now, we are at a point where 'spirituality' seems like a matter of choice, its being liked a matter of chance, or even a 'left-out' alternative for those unfortunate ones who do not find themselves to fit into anything else, because of their peculiar emotional disposition or attitude. (My elders, ofcourse, well meaningly, tried to dissuade me from undertaking those strenous routines suggested by the Yoga programs that I chose. And I too, on my part, due to great respect for them, and my trust in their genuine concern about me, always looked at the reasons put forth by them, while advising so. It is the bulk of these observations made by me , about two decades and over ago, that also provides an insight into the common mind-structure of the people around at that point of time). All this goes into how spirituality is looked at. How the words resonate into the children of the next generation would decide how they would look at life, how they would look at ancient values, etc. (It is not just the vocabulary, the language, the words, the accent, only that goes into the child. It is the concepts, that become instinctive when they respond, and they struggle to strip it off themselves, when they find it inappropriate to the situation later on in their lives. For instance, some of our children feel ashamed of certain traits that they are unable to rid of when they 'settle down' at jobs in western countries).

Those words which are used to convey the affairs of inner well being are the ones, perhaps, which underwent more of needless distortions, though maybe inadvertently.

Spirituality is one of those. That is why the question ...... whether “hard work” or 'working hardly” takes a person onwards on a spiritual path! 'Hard work' is about physical strain. Spirituality is about the spirit. If spirit is something intangible, and hence difficult to believe, then, allow it the concession that 'maybe' it has something to do with our life, which is not the body, the mind, but something that keeps us going, till somebody else finds it fit to dispose our inanimate body as a needless or useless garbage! That is what those medical certificates are as yet able to define death as... just the 'clinical' death! So, where is the question of going 'hard' on the spirit, if spirituality is what we are trying to pursue? May be we are required to go very intense about it, at our very best. If that seems hard, then comes the issue of what makes it hard. That is where, the 'initial' practices deal with the hard aspects....... these hard aspects are usually gross..... the gross body, and its gross influence over “our” attention..... the “our” being our “being” itself!!! (The bulk of later practices, seldom require any strain or hard work... it is more about dynamic state of inaction rather!)

Politically, and diplomatically, all the foregoing explanation is not at all needed to substantiate the answer for the question about hard work being attached to spirituality. It is enough to state instances where somebody got enlightened in a moment, unasked, unsought, just like that, as a matter of chance, as a matter of luck! But that kind of reply does not help to persuade, inspire and motivate people.

My answer did not seem to find an appeal in the asker's mind. Perhaps, the asker has already decided, that the way spirituality is supposed to be understood, and the way the bulk of the people appear to look at it, there is no way, other than its being hard, other than fulfilling its demand of a very hard work, to make any noteworthy progress! So, this time, I decided to look at it the other way. If similar views are held by many more, let us try to open a possibility to look at it other-wise too!

psn(18^th June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnF6HTOZHSvankSBnRzXaG6RHQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20110616191912AAZ91Rv

What makes you easy to move on spiritual “path” working hard or hardly working in life?

My answer:

Spiritual path does not even ask about how we work (hard or hardly). To the very fortunate people, the ultimate possibility of a spiritual path happens in just one moment!!! (In such cases, where was the time available for hard-work or lazy(ing) hours!
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Some of us are very eager and a bit restless (like those children who do not take their eyes off a package of gift just arrived for them on an occasion, and are very restless, excited etc!!!).
Such people, go to any length to progress on the spiritual path. It means they do whatever it takes! They may sit very still at the very same place for 'unreasonably' long period of time! The onlookers may call it 'hardly working' (but those who sit like that know how tough it is to sit thus!).
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The reason why this question arises, relating spiritual path with 'work' is simply because we see lots of unusual exercises, exertions, undertaken by spiritual people. The rigid routine observed dissuades ordinary people (Oh! that is not my cup of tea! No guarantee even, after so much circus!).
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So, we have several dissimilar, disproportionate examples and instances. Zen masters(may) 'appear' to be the most crude and gross ones! But in reality, they are the most compassionate ones!
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Like any other technology, spirituality too has undergone lots of "advancement". Today we have good tools that can mix "working in life" and spiritual pursuit simultaneously. For spiritual path, only requirement that could not be diluted or compromised is the "intensity". The results are directly proportional to the intensity, and never related to hard work or hardly working! Intensity makes the "MOVE" easy.... not the hard work or hardly working! (For proof, please look at students who struggle with academics to score. Though very rare and few, there are students who are very intense, and grasp the deep fundamentals, the deep concepts very quick, and for them, the "move" is easy, without the need of much hard work! The grasp is 'perception' dependent. Deeper the ability to perceive, better the results, and lesser the efforts required!).

Dealing with negative attitude at Workplace

Why people are more bothered about 'dealing' with negative attitude only at “workplace”, is just because it affects material aspect of life(Survival). At home, it does affect, but there are no laws which are enforceable. Just tolerate to the “maximum” possible extent. After that, part ways. One cannot divorce a job that easily. Attrition rate worries the employers only because there are laws in place which make it difficult to fire the inefficient ones! So, the efficient ones who leave, are the result of that worry, not the cause of worry. Now, when there is a sudden increase of inefficient ones (due to any reason, not just lack of skill, job-specific-qualification, or so...), the possibility of negative tendencies to overpower the inter-personal-relationship , increase. The results are obvious. It affects the management from productivity point of view, and the workers from emotional point of view. The emotion-related results cause irrepairable damage to individuals. That is when a question such as this comes up.

(My sole question on Yahoo Answers finds one link amongst many other aspects, to this question. We as emotional beings find it helplessly necessary to carry the 'residue' of what happens at home, work place, and the outside world everywhere we go! So it has to affect our over-all performance in life itself!).

Here, we shall try to restrict our observations to confine to the area demarcated 'question-specific'.

psn(17^th June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/answer?qid=20110616092436AAdET4o

Can you change a persons bad attitude especially in job place.?

I have aLady in ma Work place, she has a negative attitude in such a way that she is un-touchable.
Is there away she can change her attitude?

My answer:

Attitude is a very personal thing.

Can we change the patriotism of people like "Bhagat Singh"?

Even today, politicians find it difficult to discourage the famous person trying to go on fast against corruption!

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We are at a "work-place" only to work. Because, we need money(salary), and that comes only if we work. Now, if the employer is intelligent, he may extract more work for less pay. That itself keeps a struggle on an on-going basis.

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Amongst the 'workers', having 'settled' down for a work, nothing stops them from 'relating' to each other. On the other hand, very few are capable of holding back their "emotional" needs, till they return home. At workplace, the relationship is purely logical. At home, the relationship is purely emotional. If logic enters home-relationship, the possibility of a quarrel is greater. conversely, if emotion overpowers at workplace, productivity is going to be affected further (this "further" can be positive or negative, depending upon what kind of relationship these emotional bonds turn out to be!).

Some kind of jobs demand a little bit of emotional relationship. Like fire fighting, army job, medical field etc. Team spirit depends upon the emotional attitude. Rules at workplace try to minimise the dependence on emotional disposition of a worker. That is why, sometimes, an emotionally unstable person can churn out good results when left alone to perform at a workplace with least dependence on others around.

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The question (THIS question) arises, because, we as human beings cannot remain like robots at all the times, (indifferent to the attitude of others, especially negative attitude). All we can do is to maintain the "awareness" about the very nature of emotional attitude, its importance, its validity in the given situation, and try to keep our own stability within us (not allowing the situation outside to affect our inside-emotions). Over a period of time, the other person may realise the futility of such negative attitude and may refrain from exhibiting (if unable to transforming) it.

This is what is practically possible.

(Some people, who evolve into strong emotional stability can bring positive changes in others).

Relation between Dream and Real

A very tricky question indeed.

And quite an old question too. Most of us, do repeat the question, more freely within ourselves. But to others, we ask a bit diplomatically, avoiding repetition. Safe to ask a 'totally' different person! (I remember, during school days, our class mates used to discuss, about whom to ask such questions.... not all the teachers were 'student-friendly'! It is only now, that we got ourselves well-tamed, and 'used' to facing 'barking-people' at public places which are manned by government servants!).

No soon somebody talks about a dream, people around start putting on their own pair of glasses. Some look through dark glasses, some through yellow ones (what we derive from the saying 'everything looks yellow to a jaundiced eye'... etc), some through green ... some through opaque ones!!!! (the opaque lens users prefer to claim, see, 'I still see' showing the open eyes, eye-lids not closed, but lens opaque, hearing without listening!)...

The reason, why the 'dream-interpretation-sessions' finds very little team-spirit is simply because of the very nature of state in which they occur. Even when awake, the mind wanders, and very little is fully grasped. So, the hearsay later on churns out only distorted versions. Then what about dreams? That is the contention, and quite valid too.

The question does not seek the asker's permission to arise from within. When the situation outside is very precarious, the mind does turn towards a dream like that drowning man willing to even trust a piece of straw floating!

(It is up to the individual, to continue the inclination towards a dream)...

psn(17^th June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110616204053AADlsl6&pa=FZB6NXXtFWMW0cLWwOoS8qqWg3DtNtJkNe3gdlLgYh1uD7Xh.cY-&paid=add_watch

Is there any relation between dream and real life?

My answer:

The "relation" could be
1) about the dreamer
2) about the events in the life of the dreamer, and the dreams
(other relations are derived ones from the above two. There is the dream and the dreamer, and it is out of these two only, that we can try to find any relation.
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1) If the dreamer has peak levels of self-awareness, the dream and the real life (the events) can be related based on the levels of awareness. For example, a child has very low levels of self-awareness. We see a child farts, and turns back to find out where the sound has come from! A mentally ill patient may not be able to relate events within the real life itself, so, even our 'real' life for that patient is almost as mixed up as a wild dream.
2). The state of mind during the dream decides the relation of the dream with real life. With the sensory level perception withdrawn (not plugged or shut off... we do not smell though our noses are open, even if a hot food is place near us during sleep.. we do not hear even if somebody calls us, our ears are still open!), so,, with the sensory level perception withdrawn, the mind can be active, or the mind can be still. If the mind is active, it is free to take out old CD's and replay them, and make permutation and combination, feel the related emotions, choose to remember the results, and confuse us further during the next wake-up period. This is just a dream. If the self awareness is also there, it becomes a hallucination. That is the only difference. There is a third possibility, though very rare. A good deep sleep in full awarenesss. The body is at rest, with sensory perceptions withdrawn. The mind is at rest, with almost zero thoughts. Just the 'being' the witnessing aspect within us is fully conscious, and aware. In such a state, the perceptions are very deep, and real. In fact, such state allows filtering of even the distortions due to wake state which are purely due to limitations of sensory level of perception.... that is why there are stray instances of 'dreams' coming true for some people. Spiritual people strive to reach this state at will. For others, it is just a matter of luck, or chance. The possibility is there for all, everyone without exception. The question is, whether we leave it to luck to allow it to happen by 'itself' or we are on a fast-forward, like those spiritual people!
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Good question. Thanks. Enjoyed answering it yet again, afresh.

Unjustified Tolerance levels of Women

At the very outset, I will have to mention a few disclosures, which may sound like 'disclaimers'. But, in experience, they may end up as a claim, that this is going to be so!

There is a great emotional turbulence, which started a few decades ago, and is now getting manifested in several ways. Most unpredictable ways. It seems to challenge the very future of our social 'set-up' to which we are 'used to' .... in the sense that, we are being forced out of our psychological 'comfort-zones'. Emotional stability is the main foundation stone of that psychological comfort-zone.

The 'relationships' or the bonds (the family-bonds) in any present day family, seems to hang precariously on the emotional well-being of a woman of that family. And when that very 'woman of the house' gets shaken badly as a class, it causes a worry, a fear, a concern in the collective minds of the society as a whole. What gets discussed is just the residue of after-effects, not even the results of the effects. That is why, discussions on forums do not really seem to get us anywhere. In some communities, getting a suitable bride has become very difficult (there are girls, but not willing brides!). Young women, working women in particular seem to be suddenly required to face alone, the brunt of an unreliable society. The anxiety they carry is on all fronts. The biological problems have a long term adverse effect on them. A glance at the pattern of questions asked on an open forum where the individual identities can be safely withheld, evidences this level and pattern of anxiety. Somehow, “everybody's concern” is unable to come within the reach of a 'somebody' and nobody is able to do anything about it. Emotion related problems are indeed a very great priority. But they get eclipsed due to other materialistic problems, which occupies the mind's anxiety-tolerance capabilities, on a day-to-day basis! The irony is that unless we sincerely address the emotion related problems sensibly, handling of materialistic/logic-oriented problems of day to day life is far from reach.

In this back-drop, how far is a 'mind' going to pay any serious attention to a question which everybody can see to be so true in daily life, is in itself a sort of a disclaimer. 'No claimant' ready to seek an answer, makes a disclaimer redundant!

I felt an intense emotional desire to invite attention towards this wonderful question. And that is all my intention. The very 'drawing of attention' towards it is an ample reward. Let the mind of the reader seek an answer, not necessarily to feel inclined to accept mine. The 'thirst' will haunt that mind till it is quenched. All I seek to do is to remind that there is a latent but intense thirst within.

psn(16th June, 2011)


http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/answer?qid=20110616021852AAQNLeQ

Why women let everything go easily whether its injustice?
Lets discuss point to point:
They r being called and treated inferior but never raise voice against it.
Always taken granted for everything whether in laws home or mother's home.
Mindset tht she has to obey,bow down and do work of her husband especially cleaning shoes,arranging clothes etc.(these r only few egs).
One more inspite of knowing husband's pre or post affair they forgive them easily.
WHY ITS SO?

My answer:
This is a very deep question.
Unfortunately, it is also a very relevant question, for two reasons at least. 1. It is happening even today amidst "Indian" women 2.Even the concerned/affected/abnormally tolerant/illogically women do not seem to bother to 'explain' (or are unable to explain) why they continue to undergo such suffering.
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The answer is likely to take us deep into our culture, tradition etc. It requires an open mind, and patience to understand the 'why' (it does not mean or include that 'understanding' is 'accepting' the reasons as valid. It is just like the crime investigators try to find out the motive, with an open mind, so that the deep hidden motives gets discovered, and superficial motives do not become innocent victims of circumstances!).
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Women by nature (as a gift from mother nature), are inclined emotionally/intuitively than their counterpart, the males. Emotions do not obey logic. Emotions give disproportionate strength of endurance (for example, a good soldier if emotionally very patriotic, will defy logic, baffle medical scientists, when that soldier continues to fight bravely till the very last breath, despite being fatally wounded by bullets at several places. Indian soldiers are a bit famous for this since ancient times.). Now , in a country where a male is so strong emotionally, what about the woman who gives birth to such brave sons!
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This physiological potential and capability was well recognised by highly evolved spiritual masters of ancient times (they were in abundant number in ancient India). They wove it into the fabric of society, for a much higher purpose, spirituality. Spirituality demands tremendous amount of patience and tolerance levels. "Breaking point" is at the highest level of severity on spiritual path. The people were evolved, capable of immense trust in these spiritual masters. That is why they accepted and adopted certain standards as 'rules of life' , 'way of life' (this way of life later came to be known by the name "Hinduism". This "hinduism" still later came to be known as a 'religion', though it does not fulfil any norm of all other known religions of the world. There is no single God, no authority to convert/reconvert, no uniform pattern of prayer, temple visit, no specific prescriptions, etc. Even the bulk of ancient texts are addressed to "individuals" and not to "group of followers" as in other religions. Perhaps, only one ancient book addresses to various classes... the Manusmriti.).
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For evidence , we can take a look at the traditions, or the residual of traditions, which we follow a bit blindly, even today. We call the offering of bride as "Kanya-daan" or a charity (as if that bride is some cow or donkey, to be used by the receiver of charity, and the receiver is treated as a proxy for lord 'Vishnu' ... a God-like-status. ). There are several rituals, which logically seem utterly stupid. That is why, there is a clear divide now. Those women who are logically trained (thanks to the high-tech literacy-education made available in cities, today), are the first to revolt against these traditions. They choose to fight this injustice of differential treatment to women. Very true, it is indeed a gross injustice, if the very purpose is not going to be fulfilled.
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The question is relevant because, even some of the most educated women quietly bear the brunt at home front. To know the reason for this, the enquiry can be in two ways. 1.The commonly known way is with a scientific temper, using evolved logical skills. We have to look at physiological aspects where the genes carry certain pattern of response-behaviour to certain situations. We have to look at the transitional phase of social scenario, where the precedent creating/ or case-history-creating women do not really seem to have achieved any emotional benefit out of such revolt. Divorces do not seem to take them anywhere, make their lives any better, other than the consolation that they decided to come out of such 'needless' torture. 2. The less common way, but a sustaining, and more satisfying way is to walk down the same path, which the ancient spiritual masters did, and step into their way of looking, thinking, and try to find out IF they have happened to sow the seeds of such tolerance irretrieveably into the genes that would be handed down the generations. The presumption here, for trying to look at such a possibility is that, any evolved being would attempt to perpetuate the work of great value, also taking into consideration, the possibility that "corruption" of minds at a future date, by the future generations might erode the values. In which case, they prefer to seek insurance policies from genes, which are a bit incorruptible at micro level!
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Already the answer is painstakingly long. :)

Tatkal Era

I was dumbfounded looking at this news item:
quote:
http://www.hindu.com/2011/06/14/stories/2011061454170400.htm

Tatkal applications for Class X exams
Students who failed to submit applications to take the State Board Class X special supplementary examinations (SSLC and OSLC streams) could do so under the tatkal scheme before June 22, stated a release from the Directorate of Government Examinations here on Monday

unquote:

It would be too long, before a kid would come up, and request entry into the only toilet in the home of a large family, on “tatkal” basis, ..... of course out of urgency.... !!! (Kids would never take up any thing that is routine, uninteresting, etc unless it becomes urgent, apart from being mandatory! Use of toilet is no different.

I was under the impression that “tatkal” is a purely temporary measure, not to be allowed to create a precedent, and a compulsion of unforseen situation. A temporary shelter was what the great kings thought of, when they had constructed large halls of massive stone work in ancient temples. Any natural calamity would render the people homeless, and they can take shelter.

Now, even computer wizards use this concept of 'tat' (that small specific, particular, span )'kaal' (of time, kaal) on a regular basis... When a bug is reported, just delete that portion of the program, as a 'tatkal' problem-solving measure, instead of fixing that bug. Nobody would notice it anyway, since that bug-creating-portion was only supposed to feed the data into a feedback-data bank for some future use.

“Working” couples bring junk food from nearby hotels that close down at the last hour of the day...(not that they have large bracket of open-hours, but have 'tied-up' with another bulk-manufacturer for disposing large left-overs at cheap rates!)......... of course on a “regular tatkal basis”.

Objective type of question-papers/answers, tele-interviews, snap-audits, and what not.... All those things which are 'regularised' now were supposed to be 'tat-kaalik' !!! But regularisation of 'temporary staff' on daily-wages, is postponed indefinitely.

psn(13th June, 2011)

Body Language

Very fortunately, a very dear and closely related elder around me had initiated me into the art of 'presenting' myself very gently, gracefully, and very humbly before the deity when visiting a temple. The reasons are many. There is a belief that the deity is suppose to radiate high charge of energy, and it is safer to remain 'out of the line of fire' by standing aside and peeping by bending the head lightly downwards, and turning to look sideways, and then look at the diety.

Doing this often, the respecting of elders, higher officials, etc came a bit easily (or naturally) to me. What I did not think of was the body language that also creeps in due to the mind-set or attitude adopted. Yes, it does help in many other ways too, that we may become aware of, only 'in due course'.

I felt happy to find a question that would find scope to look at just the body language. The very right kind of question came in, and I loved answering it.

The highlight is that the answer seemed to hit the mark, when the answerer commented after choosing the answer , saying that “ i have been told i do walk like i am going to hit some one lol” ...

Otherwise, the question seemed to vague. (Here, I suppose, I can claim having reached the mind of the asker, looking at the question itself!)

psn(13th June, 2011)

quote:

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110613053824AAE0cNz

Why does conversation stop?
why does conversation stop when i come into the room it's not with every one but most people i find it kind of rude my self it's like why couldn't you carry the conversation on when i walked in it's not like it was about me.
Additional details:
i am not the blabber mouth sort if i was i would understand mostly quite but chatty kind of person

My answer:
They say, communication is mostly body language, and conversation is just about 10% or so.
Maybe some people radiate powerful body language which draws the attention of others, when they enter a place, and so, obviously, their present activity (maybe...conversation) pauses.
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(try entering the room very gently, or casually, .... may be..... others might feel it okay to at least finish the conversation-topic.)

Confidence

I wonder whether 'confidence' is the exact opposite of fear, anxiety, apprehension or its likes. 'Courage' doesn't seem to fit in as an opposite of those negative emotions. For instance, a person who is confident that the last bus has not yet left, and awaits that bus at that desolate bus stop, in utter darkness, cannot be called 'courageous' , unless that situation is attributed with additional vulnerabilities like 'ghost-ridden' place at night-times, etc. 'Fearless' could simply mean absence of fear and not necessarily a presence of courage. Maybe 'confide' comes closer to confidence, and if we have that self-confidence, it simply means we have that “self-trust”! Now, trust is a personal quality, and does not pre-suppose any performance-guarantee. In that sense, if that self-confidence fails, later on, we can always rename it as 'my own over-confidence'!

Instead of asking about positive traits, there was an asker who simply chose to seek the clarification about 'fear' and 'fearless' which comes 'sometimes'. The innocence of the asker's mind is in the words 'caught' by fear! The contrast is 'became' fearless! Now that ought to attract any person who is keen to address the 'mind of the asker'.

Great spiritual masters have spoken at length and in-depth about fear. It is not that easy to even grasp the concepts, leave alone getting rid of it! Fear is perhaps the last of the negative emotions to leave us. What I attempted is to suggest a simple and practical 'approach'. This 'approach' to be really practical, has to be within the reach of the asker. Maybe, others may find it worth re-visiting their own fears or even the false-pretensions about fearlessness, as I did unto myself, while attempting an answer.
psn(11th June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110610130857AAQDSJf
My trouble is some times fear caught me and i cant do any thing & some times i became fearless and do anything?
how i will be more confident!
My Answer:
Fear is the most difficult one to get rid of, amongst the negative emotions. Also, fear comes up faster than other negatives. It gives less response time, like that fielder on the 'slip' or the wicket keeper, who is close to the batsman.
If we are familiar with a few situations, which we know that it is likely to cause fear, we can try to visualise those situations when we feel quite relaxed, healthy, safe, and strong. Allow the fear to creep in during those visualisation sessions, and just observe them. But care should be taken to disallow "our" participation to those fear-thought-processes, or invoking memories that aggrevate the fear. Yes, fear too is a mere thought process. If there is a venomous snake beside us, and we fail to recognise its shape, size etc, there is no room for fear (by the way, snake can remain more still than even a stone, which is 'supposed' to be inanimate!). This exercise is tough, but when the asker indicated that 'sometimes i become fearless'.... the potential to undertake such exercise is evident!!
(Food, or intakes, nervous stimulants, also affects the fear recurrence).
For those who are eager to go deeper, they can look within, and improve the 'positive attitude' (a less popular word is 'Right center' of the mind). When that 'right center' dominates, fear has less grip over us. We common people often oscillate between right and wrong centers, and then invoke memory and imagination, that too quite unawares, and that causes such uncertain/unpredictable tendencies. With some practice, we can learn two things, first to root at right/positive center, two to invoke memory and / or imagination at will. Eminent teachers at higher schools of learning like MBA etc strive to train students of high level/aptitude/skills into such skills, to be able to manage tough situations in business enterprises, where interpersonal skills matter the most at apex levels!
Confidence is a consequence of evolvement, and not the purpose

Behavior, nature and then spirituality

I am not quite sure, whether it is my 'behavior' or my 'nature' that takes me towards such tricky questions!

When people say, “it is his nature”, I used to wonder, as to what exactly they are referring to? His habit, behaviour, reaction-pattern, or just that 'nature' that could be unique to each individual as a contra-distinguished from general 'human-nature'. Being 'used to' wonder thus, has perhaps landed me where I am now! (helplessly struck into that deep quick-sand of 'tendency to give out unsolicited suggestions... advice.... ideas... or whatever!!!).

Quite concerned to know if I happen to be disturbing the 'settled' minds of people, youngsters in particular, I got a chance to ask an youngster who I presumed, would have been reading some of my blogs, question-answers, etc. The response, was a reward in itself, as far as I was concerned! It did disturb the youngster, not in the sense of causing irritation (disturb is just stirring... we disturb a sleeping person, where becoming alert, awake etc also is a better choice... in that sense of disturbing, stirring, to stimulate interest...). That youngster said that reading them sets that youngster to look at what makes that youngster think the way that person does! Anyway, this paragraph is slightly out of context, but I thought it might be handy for a person who is likely to get interested to look deeper into that thin overlapping line between behavior and nature.

'Spirituality is to go beyond nature'.. is what I was taught by my teacher. (this is the only piece that I had to omit out of the answer, but it finds a rightful place in the blog.

psn(9th June, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110609011601AAnUWEy
What is the difference between human behaviour and human nature......?
My answer:
Behavior is response or reaction by the mind (We say, why do you 'act' like a mad fellow!)
Nature is physiological (of which, the brain is also an integral part, and is likely to be mistaken as the mind.) We say, to err is human... it simply means the physiological limitations, to be still more specific, the sensory level of perceptions, which are limited and hence prone or vulnerable to errors (not that 'refusal' to learn, which leads to repeated errors!).
Very thoughtful question. The answer should have been comprehensive. But even an 'indicative' one should work to inspire/motivate someone to reach deeper.
Thanks for the question.

Meaning of life

Some time or other, we all face this question from deep within…. …

May be in verbal or non verbal form……

“What is all this about?... this life, my life, the life around?.....” etc…

When I try to answer such questions on the Yahoo Answers forum, I try to re-look at it afresh, each time, and then try to answer. If the answer repeats/replicates/refreshes each time, or if it improves, innovates, invigorates each time, the experience, for me at least, is afresh.

( A cousin of mine, more importantly a co-traveler on the spiritual path, happened to remind me the famous observation by the eminent scientist Dr. Albert Einstein, that during any experiment, the observer, by mere reason of observing, happens to affect the experiment to some extent. That is to say, the subject and the object are bound to be entangled, in some subtle way at least. That gives good reasons for me to believe that my efforts or commitment to look at the answer afresh would justify the attempts and the efforts! The impressive teachers who came along my path, have inspired me by their successes in doing thus!).

All this elaboration so far, has nothing to do with the actual meaning of life. And yet, I had thought of writing it because of the very nature of the concept of the answer that I had thought of offering. This answer is from my own experience, observation, and contemplation so far.

I felt amply rewarded that the asker was impressed.

Psn(30^th May, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110527071857AAIYBQo

What is the meaning of life?Answer carefully..?

I mean 99% of the people do the same thing from birth to death...they find a job,then marry and have children,work and make money,then retire and then finally die..what is the meaning of life if everyone from one generation to another do the same thing ..isn't there any variety??Do you think everyone knows about this?Isn't there any life other than this??
See i'm also following the above rule..but i'm just curious why god created humans in earth??to follow the same path from generation to generation??do you think humans failed to understand the meaning of life??

My answer:

Even that "answering carefully" might not really help. For answering, we use only our power of reasoning, the logic, the mind. Our ideas, our concepts, the reasoning, is just everything that we got from outside, by looking, hearing, listening, etc. And what we look, listen etc is just what "people do the same thing from birth to death".....
Instead, if we look at why this question occurs.... it takes us a bit deeper inside. There is no where else to seek the "why" and "where from" of this question. What makes us search for the "true" purpose of life? Who within us, is so keen to know the purpose of life. The mind, if we care to see logically, is simply not capable of understanding the purpose of life. A robot cannot understand the purpose of creating it.. Maybe it may repeat a program, when we 'feed' the purpose as a data. That is exactly what human mind also does when trying to answer this question "carefully". The "carefulness" makes the search very intense, sincere and the result would also match complexity beyond average level of intelligence!
Instead, we have evidence that it is the "unlettered" ones who constitute the bulk of enlightened people! The reason is simple. They are not even capable of 'complicating' it in a sophisticated manner like the 'literate giants'! Quite ironical. But there can be exceptions. If we choose to be consciously exceptional, then we have to be prepared to take exceptional efforts too. Silencing the mind consciously is the way. When the mind is silent, the first thing that can happen is we come into 'touch' with existence! The whole existence is happening now, here, this moment, and we are always in the past, since our mind CAN ONLY BE in the past.
Many have "experienced" the purpose or meaning of life, when they came into contact with the core of their being (the self which is not the body, mind, etc, but that which holds the body and mind).
Just as we "see" everything around clearly when we switch on the lights, the purpose/meaning of "life" becomes instantly clear when we become consciously aware of our own self. Till then, we have to keep depending on ideas, ideas, ideas, and keep renewing them endlessly(For, they begin to seem stale very soon!).

Feeling Ugly

I was quite surprised to see an old answer of mine getting a ‘thumps up’ now!

There was a very good question from an asker who felt both , ugly and ‘good’ about oneself, at different times.

The question was about the ‘feeling’ itself, irrespective of ‘tangible reality’.

This does happen to most teenagers. And the girls usually get caught up in the situation, the outside situation, and thereby, grossly miss the greatest “benediction” that mother nature had showered upon here by mere reason of her being a female! The ‘body-awareness’ is thrust upon her, especially during the teenage. If only there is someone around who would gently guide this teenage girl into delving further deeper into herself, beyond the body, at that well-timed ‘period’, the spiritual awareness can dawn much more effortlessly!

This was the question:

Quote:

Why do I feel ugly somedays and attractive on others?When will I stop feeling like this?

i'm 19 so i guess its normal but when will it end? there will be a period of time when i feel attractive and confident then the next i feel ugly as hell and really self conscious about my appearance starting with my big lips and being skinny. i hate feeling that way i just want to feel comfortable.

Unquote:

I did not lose the chance to ‘address’ the mind of the asker. I was amply rewarded with the asker’s kind comments.

I had let it rest at that, there.

But somehow, when that thumbs-up came up, I felt tempted to share it with yet others here.

(The first use of “thumPs” is a bit intentional. I was amused to see a ‘seal’ –a rubber stamp—at a document-registrar’s office declaring it to be “thump impression” of so-and-so. That made me realize , “what a THUMPING” majority we are, the electorate of our country, and the elected ones too, till recently! I did mention it to the ‘concerned’ person there to get the error rectified, offering even, to replace the rubber seal at my expense, since they know ‘only how to receive’ but are yet to learn to spend! The response was however ‘on expected lines’….. )

psn(29^th May, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmwSixTq2i8AJXG0KWpftqaQHQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20071222170005AA9G56J

My answer:

Oh! The mind and the body are indeed related.
Please see, when we get some very bad news, the mind instantly triggers a chemical change right upto our stomach, and despite intense hunger, we simply cannot eat even a morsel of food, and if somebody forces it down our throat, we might vomit.
We have to now consciously 'cultivate' the thought process such that it keeps the body chemistry 'positive' at all times, and creates that 'feel good factor', and makes us feel attractive.
It is our own body chemistry that matters more than the features, looks etc, that makes us attractive. That is why many film actors do not seem to attract a large fan-following despite being gifted with good-looking features, where as some 'ordinary-looking' actors have that tremendous mass-appeal!

Mental Peace

I do not know how this can happen! As long there is a mind, there can be no peace. Mind finds its existence itself in its very activity. But people refer to a confusion, and when they want it to ‘settle’ down, they want the ‘confusion’ itself to settle down. Maybe, that is how the word got coined. No problem. As long as we are able to understand it the way the other person does, it is communication indeed. (And there is another word “mental”. Some people are referred to as “He/she is …….. ‘a mental’….”).

The question comes up very often. I did not face this question from my within, when I confronted it for the first time. But it was posed to me as my problem. Or rather, through this question, I had become THE problem! “Will you allow me SOME mental peace at least FOR A WHILE” was what they asked of me, when I was a kid! And, I, in all innocence, set about wondering how I could do it. Already I had posed several embarrassing questions that could not have evaporated all at once from the mind of the other person, and how was I going to ‘undo’ my misdeed all of a sudden and that too ‘for a while’!

(May be, that is how, I even got ‘initiated’, as a kid, into the process of ‘experiencing’ that subtle level of ‘empathy’ into the ‘mental’ pain of others!). Quite funnily enough, there was yet more baffling declaration from womenfolk who were my elders around me, during the kid days. They used to say “You are taking away my life!”. Now, I was pushed into taking into account the two things together…. “Giving” some mental peace, and “not taking” away the other’s life! At that innocent age, the solution was too simple. Just avoid getting into their way. Still better, ‘oblige’ them doing things ONLY their way. Well, it was only for a while. I was back into my own agenda, taking more care this time, to avoid being ‘conspicuous’. That is how I could formulate the idea of ‘mystic’ way of doing things! (The initiation into it took place much later only, of course!).

These kind of instances happen to almost all people during their kid days. Nothing very special(about it). Only the memories are very special, simply because it was an intense experience, bereft of any ‘attachments’ then! It is fortunate, if also, the concepts stay back within us. My experience is that it does help to evolve into deeper spiritual concepts.

For some reason, I was tempted to take up an ‘ordinary looking question’ about ‘mental peace’. There was a nice ‘catch’ when the asker posed a condition about forgetting love, affection and relations.

Psn(29^th May, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110527211339AAUcXth

How to attain mental peace?

How one can attain mental peace ? A state of mind when one did not feel sad and remain always pleased. Is it necessary to forget about all love affection and relations to achieve this state?

My answer:

A child is already at mental peace.
An animal is already at mental peace.
Both these worry only when basic wants become urgent.
We seldom lose that mental peace for basic wants. The bulk of quarrel all over the world is not for basic necessities.
But, the child and the animal do not have that deep level of self awareness. That is the difference. So their peace also is not retained at will.
Love, affection and relations do not cause disturbance to mental peace if we do not put conditions. Please see, "unconditional" love, affection or relationship does not "expect" anything in return. When there is no expectation (or very little of it), the inner peace is free from outside situation. Outside situation is never at the control of any individual. We know this. But we do not "maintain" the awareness when there is a mismatch between what we 'like' and what the outside situation happens to be at a given point of time. That alone disturbs the mental peace. Nothing else. Everyone knows, becoming angry reduces intelligence during that period. But when already angry, this 'knowing' is not really maintained.

Freeze-Response

“Freeze” is the word used by the police and the villains “alike” when they try to take full control over a person (as we see in movies too!).

But what if, a person needlessly responds with a ‘freeze’ at all occasions? A kid learns hard the lessons, and when the question paper is given out in the exam hall, the first unwitting response is a ‘freeze’ that chills the fingers holding the question paper, the known answers seem to just evaporate into thin air! The better response would have been to fight or ‘flight-from-question, using choice of any-five out of ten’ etc. Such better-responding students manage to ‘cook’ up some answer, using a few “key” words from here and there, and manage to squeeze out a few ‘grace’ marks at least, and boost up the aggregate marks to a ‘respectable’ score overall! That ‘freezing’ kid ends up scoring a bit lesser than the marks actually deserved for the intense study, hard work, and the knowledge acquired all through! (Good reputed organizations have excellent HR tools, which identify such “average-scorers-due to-freeze response”, and hire them at a lesser cost, and then ‘squeeze’ out the better productivity in a “cost-effective” way, and pocket the residual profits!). This fight-flight candidate learns the art of ‘managing well’ with ‘available-gimmicks’ and ends up as a good ‘marketing’ executive, pockets a tidy sum, climbing up the business ladder. These are generalized examples, to illustrate the pattern of fall outs. In real life, other aspects also affect the attitude, situations vary and so also the results.

Why a few of us ‘freeze’ was the question. It is not often that we find such a deep question. Even those who are experts at fight-flight responses, do freeze when “confronted inadvertently” with spiritual-related situations/issues in their lives! That is when they “really” realize that they were “really” never free from a deep-lying “freeze” response system within! Someday, everybody might have to concede, that those who manage to avoid a freeze-response to spiritual aspect of life are fortunate, and if from an early life, then it is “very very” fortunate!

(There was even a saying, “If you find suddenly that you are surrounded by “too many” friends, start telling them your problems, worries etc, and in no time, they would all vanish. Those who still stay back are true friends!” This is one advantage of using the ‘freeze’ tactics on others!)

psn(6^th May, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110505182725AAvzQXM

Why do I freeze when I'm scared instead of using my fight or flight response?

Well basically the question explains it, I've noticed when I get scared I just freeze...I don't flee or fight...why?

My answer:

At cellular levels, the early responses as a child become impulses, instincts and then habits. It starts right from within the womb. (For example, there was a story of an instance where a doctor treating a pregnant woman had to induce a slight burn injury at the abdomen of the woman, to make the child withdraw its limb and stay crouched tight in the womb, instead of stretching out the limb and causing discomfort to the mother. As a kid, when we "experience" a burn injury, we 'withdraw' our affected part from the source of pain, also like during an electric shock).

Over a period of time, if there is a significant absence of 'instances-to-learn-from' to also stay back and fight or to run away, our response system gets habituated to withdrawal. And, freezing is the process. A tortoise withdraws its limbs inwards when it senses danger (it can neither run or fight... its hard shell is the only defense).

Providing examples and varieties of response-systems constitutes a very significant aspect of training a child. (A typical example would be, a person "thinking" of HOW TO STOP THIS TURBULENT MIGHTY RIVER, and then conceiving the idea of building a dam, instead of just helplessly watching like others, the floods swallowing lives, and material for years, ages, centuries! ). The very Education System has to take care of this aspect. Freezing is not necessarily an act of fear, or cowardice. But that is what logic would try to tell us 'instantly' (For example, a soldier, who infiltrates into enemy area to reach the center-most point would 'freeze' momentarily, to escape notice by a guard passing by, to avoid catching attention half way, and to avoid abort of "mission" half way! The clue is, these responses are wonderful, when we do it consciously, in full awareness, and good alertness EACH time!

A good question. The purpose of the question has a very deep and wide reach. Thanks!

Linguistic Impact

We often recognise the mother tongue of a person from the accent in which some other language is spoken.

Way beyond that, we also see the impact of the language, especially the colloquial in vogue, which affects the attitude to some significant extent. Typically, when two people who speak the same native tongue meet at an ‘off-site’ location the compatibility levels are far better when they speak the local language, instead of their common mother tongue. There is mix of contrast in this aspect. They do rejoice having seen somebody who speaks their mother tongue, but such joy is short lived, and should be spanned if it is to last, not on a cohabitation-basis. That is exactly the point. Exceptions are always there.

It was perhaps under this backdrop that a wonderful question caught my attention.

There was a deeper twist to the question. It was about the “cognitive process” ….. being ‘affected’ by the language, the mother tongue in particular. We cannot rule out entirely the relevance of the question, especially when we find the ‘Urdu’ language, which by itself induces certain grace amidst the speakers, especially the ones skilled at the language. This language is able to effortlessly express certain subtle emotions leaving the bulk of many prominent global languages languishing behind, in its competition. Even a simple work like ‘Thanks’ finds direct translation only in Urdu, to its perfection. It is not about trying to compare and elevate one language by devaluing another. Each language has many unique characteristics, which makes it incomparable. For instance, Telugu is considered the sweetest. The best and bulk of musical compositions (Carnatic classical) are found in Telugu language only. Similarly, Tamil has only light consonants, which makes it the only language that can be loudly spoken by a lady even during the advanced stage of pregnancy!

So, it was the “process” of cognition that needed attention. Obviously perception and its levels was what the question tried to address.

PSN(5^TH May, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110428165413AAqtxzp

Are our cognitive processes affected by our mother language?

My reply:

Cognitive processes get 'conditioned' over a period of time, due to deterioration in the perception levels.
Perception deteriorates due to preoccupied mind. Babies are at the peak of cognitive processes upto the age of 2 at least. The question occurs because the language is picked up around the age of 2 and onwards, and then on the cognition percentage drops gently but steadily. It is not the language by itself, but the conditioning of mind into which the language drives a person. Cognition is the function of the intellect, which by itself, and importantly, when left to itself, is at peak levels. For example, the cognition of gravity happened when the mind was relaxed, silent but alert, when the eyes saw the apple fall. The lid of the tea kettle blew up due to steam pressure, and we got the locomotives. The water overflowed displacing the odd-sized, odd-dimensioned body immersed in the bath tub, and there was "Eureka" (the famous ratio between mass and volume!). All these are demonstrable examples of excellent 'cognition processes, not affected by language, because when the mind is silent, alert and relaxed, language has no scope to interfere (not even the verbal thought processes)

Love Break

Oh! It does sound like some “commercial” break (for those TV ads!)…

The break in relationship is what is meant.

During those black and white movie days, I do remember the audience voice a deep appreciation in almost a chorus, when that hero or the heroine stage-manages a love-break, feigning some treachery, just to save the other from abrupt, premature widowhood/widower hood, as also to holdback the information about being stricken by some fatal disease (usually it is cancer, in those days, since this was the only sure-death disease that common folk were aware of!).

But that is not the only kind of love that would break us apart.

What if a sprinter loses a leg? A percussion artist or a painter loses a finger? A football player finds the kneecap injury incurable? A vocalist loses the vocal chords?

And in most marriages the better half tastes like a bitter half after the initial glamour! Getting along for the ‘rest’ of the life is not an easy thing, when this love breaks!

It is excellent, if the youngsters seek and find clarity by themselves for themselves, since the whole concept is purely “experiential”, and somebody can give only some kind of indicative reference by way of inspiration/motivation.

It is indeed worth the effort, because, if the work, the duty, becomes like a love-affair, then the rest of the life seems restful, though hectic !

Psn(27^th April, 2010)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110425031831AAwIa0V

The question:

What does if love break?

When friendship/ relationship breaks, enemity arise?
What does if love break?

My answer:

When love breaks, only two possibilities.
First, the usual possibility, a dejection, a seeking afresh, a search 'all over again' , etc. (It is the dejection, the depression, the unfulfilled desire that may give rise to a negative emotion, an emotion which is opposite of love--the positive emotion. The vulnerability due to this dejection is far more, and seldom gives the needed 'space' for a person to restart, to begin afresh!).
..
Second, the unusual, the uncommon, the rare, the lucky/fortunate possibility. Clarity about the nature of relationship. Even death 'breaks' the narrow love of the proximity, and clarity elevates a person to NOW EXPERIENCE the bodiless being as a part of oneself. So nothing prevents from holding the person within us, in our heart, even though at gross levels that 'other' person refuses to allow us to see his/her face even!
..
(A wonderful question, indeed! A person who is keen to look deeper, for that person a wonderful possibility opens up!) Thanks for that!

Cursorily a curse, eventually a blessing.

It is an oddity that I happened to notice, which made me delve a little deeper into the significance of the usage, of a couple of words. While the ‘rest of the country’ sought for asheervad (blessing), people belonging to God’s own country just asked for Anugraha (benediction)!.

And now somebody is keen to know whether we are cursed or blessed?

The intent is laudable. Somebody is very keen to get his exact bearings! To begin a journey the very first thing we need to know is where we are right now! Without knowing that, no sense of direction can ‘work’ accurately. It is wonderful to see the youth waking up very early, while they still have the age, energy, the strong will, and still more importantly, the strong sense of discretion. Once the clarity occurs, everything HAS to work their way, and everything around HAS to work like a blessing!

That is what motivates me to ‘hang on’…… for a while longer at least…….. The keenness of the youth to know the basics, the fundamentals, AFRESH! Just as they wanted to know the subtle difference between ‘need’ and ‘greed’, now it is the still more vital thing, the curse, and the blessing! I used to ask the ‘elders’ who are invited to “grand” occasions, for seeking their ‘Blessings”, as to how and what actually they do, when they stretch out their palms down turned and ‘shown’ facing, or at best, placed on the head of the youngster making the physical obeisance (namaskar) to receive the blessing! A diplomatic smile is all they manage to ‘squeeze’ out of their faces!

To me, personally, the very question, the seeking for the answer, the inquisitiveness, the sincerity, seems to invoke the blessings of the blessed ones! May it happen to them!

Yours Clandestinely,

Psn(26^th April, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110419101647AA6xPZf

How do we know that we are cursed or blessed?

How do we know that we are cursed or blessed while living, ones eternal destiny is known only after his death. Your view please?

My Answer:

As long as our acceptance does not deepen enough, even blessings looks like a curse!
We need to know the basic difference between a curse and a blessing, besides the commonly accepted difference that they are opposites of each other!
It is actually, a benediction versus curse.
Blessing never comes in the way of a curse, ever!
Blessings are always in disguise. We 'feel' blessed. We do not 'see' that we are blessed. The confusion is just because blessings are used to mean material possessions, comforts, benefits, etc.
Only a few people use the words 'benediction' and 'blessing' with amazing clarity. I came across a wedding invitation, which requested the invitee to make their 'presence' available at the sacred occasion of the wedding of their daughter, bless the young couple, and THEREBY, Benedict the parent host who extends the invitation!

Transformation of Need into Greed

It is not at all a new thing for any of us, this transition/transformation, from need to greed.

There was even a joke! A villager on his visit to a metro town for the first time, was warned by a experienced ‘senior’ to bargain for half the quoted price, when buying anything….. “Be careful, it is written all over your face that you are from a village…”

Now this villager took this advice too carefully, and went to buy an umbrella. He asked for 50 when the price quoted was 100. Being the very first customer of the day, the poor shopkeeper felt sentimentally not good to return the customer empty handed. So he conceded. But at once the villager now asked for 25 since 50 was thee new ‘quoted price’! The haggling went on, and out of sheer frustration and suppressed anger the shopkeeper shouted “Please take it for free and get lost”…. But our villager friend would not give up, and asked for two umbrellas as free! (The quoted offer is one for free!). The greed crept into the need, somewhere, and now we have a hearty laugh.

In fact, there are political parties that have a slogan of ‘From each according to ability, to each according to need’. And, in practice, it changes to “from each beyond his capacity to each according to greed”! The taxes throttle the common man, and greed of corrupt people in power grows and grows.

It is not that only very few are greedy. It is obvious because of the magnitude. For most of us, this greed camouflages and presents itself in totally different colour. It is very relevant to know how to fix the need. Because, need keeps changing according to situation. The size of the operation or surgery decides the need of additional blood. Doctors prescribe needless quantity of tablets, medicines and drugs which end up a pile of junk, beyond the expiry date. At least these wastages would have saved many poor lives! We do need to do something very strongly about this wastage that follows the immediate footsteps of the greed. It is the greed for a ‘name’ that makes a person throw a lavish party, where another set of greedy people respond by wasting precious enriched food to the extent of 80 % for sheer ‘fashion’ sake. Corruption has reached dizzy heights due to this greed.

The fight against corruption has sprung out of need to curb the greed! It would be nice if the people who are ‘convicted’ for corruption, should not be allowed to even respect the NATIONAL FLAG! They should never be invited to flag-hoisting functions, etc. They should be kept away from national flag. May be, this step would deter their greed from growing beyond the tolerance capacity of common man’s pocket!

This urge or upsurge to fight against corruption which is the result of greed , would have naturally led to a logical question, as to why/when the need becomes a greed! No point in pointing fingers against others, when the seed of greed is about to germinate inside the ‘need’! So, the question is genuine, and should be respected with a genuine attempt to answer it and logically too. There are several aspects to the reply. I just make a humble beginning by way of inspirational effort.

Psn(25^th April, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110419013430AApza3f

Why/ when does need transform to greed?

SL
how does we know that we are in need or greed?

My reply:

When the needs turns too personal, way beyond the need of the 'situation'.
Our body is "ours", and "we " are not the body itself. So, when body needs something it is 'situational' need. When we look out for tasty junk food, it is not the body's need but our greed's need!
Please look at other living beings. There is no scope to point fingers at their greed! When the deer loiters within the reach of a huge lion, we can be certain of two things... the deer has good perception that it can sense the difference between a hungry lion, and a well fed lion. Second, the lion is incapable of greed (the greed to eat inclusive).
Animals cannot sacrifice too. We can do both.. we can be greedy, we can choose to forgo as an act of sacrifice.

Merciful Killing

I felt amused to find a question that seemed to suggest that few of us are just one step 'beyond' from, the (now-a-days) “almost acceptable” mercy-killing called euthanasia.

Whether we are tired of living by ourselves, or we are sympathetic looking at the others, applying brakes on an ‘as is where is’ condition is the first ‘idea’ that strikes to an innocent mind. Please see, even a kid, all of a sudden, at half-way on a walk-journey towards a market, theatre or so, suddenly exclaims ‘I want to go home.. NOW”. The kid simply refuses to go even one step further. Parents/elders learn thus, what patience really is! (The same kids, having tasted the comforts of gadgets, automation, ‘ready-to-eat’ /use stuffs, now apply the same brakes when at a job (increasing attrition rate!), or when into a marital obligation(increasing ‘divorce’ rates).

The question was direct, to the point, and ‘all inclusive’ (meaning, once and for all, solve all problems!).

Psn(24^th April, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110423175728AAYnj2Z

If death is liberation, then does it make moral sense to kill as many beings as possible in your lifetime?

Why is death wrong? Why do we assume life is better, have you ever thought about it? Sometimes life is hell on earth. Breaking one free from life could be the greatest gift you could give to another living soul, particularly if you believe in God, because after they die they would be reunited with God.

My answer:

After a continuous and long bus journey, , almost everybody gets down, stretches out the limb in all possible directions, lets out some freak sounds of great relief and "freedom" / "liberation" (except the driver, who is already damn fresh!).
Now, a kid observes that "stopping of bus means a lot of liberation" to all the poor passengers, and so pushes out the driver on the way, and dashes the bus off the mountain into a gorge, or against another bus or a tree, or a train (All that is needed is to abruptly STOP the bus!). The passengers who manage a bit of survival have to undergo a 'painful journey' to the nearest hospital, That is how people who die suddenly reach the nearest womb, and come out with a few deformities even!
..
(Any time, it feels wonderful to gently bring the vehicle to a slow halt, apply brakes, engage handbrakes, majestically open the door, dramatically walk out of the Car, wave hand cheerfully at others... all this "AT WILL", consciously, in full awareness, THAT is liberation. Even the seemingly 'normal' death that we think so, is not really 'at will'. The body is unfit to sustain life ... maybe age, dis-ease, deformity,, or what ever. Just leave the body, when healthy, is what is 'liberation from body'. Once this is possible, the next liberation can even be thought of, now. "The liberation of the "being",,,,," )}

Conscious Compassionate Creativity!

For too long a time, I was just ‘average’ in about most of the things that ordinary people do in life (mercifully, not about life). I had no reason to suspect the presence of any sort of creativity within me. As a school-going kid, my only experience with ‘creativity’ trying to surge inside me was when I visited sea shore, where we are allowed to ‘freely’ access ‘any’ amount of wet sand to play with, but only till sunset. I did not have to try for too long. All I could manage was a huge ‘mountain’ (anything which was about my own kid-size was of course, ‘huge’!). Or I managed a zig-zag-tunnel in sand restricted in its length and depth to the extent of my tiny arm. At best it was a combination of both, a tunnel half way up that mound, where an other kid manages to have a through-and-through visibility.

That was my creativity at its best during childhood! At home, there was nothing ‘creative’ to try with. And when visiting ‘other’s’ home, everything was non-touchable! So, there was a conflict of interests between ‘well-disciplined’ and ‘creative’ abilities.

Any way, there was yet one field which no one could ever restrict in any way. The thought process! The only good thing that occurred to me at that tiny pint-sized age was to try to equip myself with best tools to proceed with that thought-process-creativity. I wonder if it was that which eventually pushed me into a spiritual quest!

Anyway, with all giants of ‘creativity-teaching-skills’ all around (business schools, etc), I too tried to look at creativity, and two other basics (3-in-one, in fact!), in my own humble way, in all modesty, since I knew I had never ever demonstrated a ‘sizable’ creativity at any time, when somebody asked it on the ‘Yahoo!Answers’ forum.

(Now, I wonder if it quenches the thirst of average people like me, or something akin to ‘creativity for dummies’… .. etc!).

PSN(23^rd April, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110416220727AAQXQyA

True or false --consciousness, compassion & creativity are the basis of life--osho?

How we can develop all three at a time

My answer:

When we start experiencing more and more people and things around us as a part of ourselves, all these three 'have to' develop!
(A mother who is in dire need, and driven to a very extreme situation, brings forth all these three in an amazingly unbelievable manner! The steady growth of a deep sense of social responsibility, expansion of inclusiveness, in a person, etc... all these are portrayed too well in an old Hindi Movie, "Mother India" . I even wonder, if the title is not a mere matter of chance! The heroine simply grows, evolves, right through the movie. She would almost 'sell' herself to save her kids, and later, she did not hesitate to shoot down one of her kids, due to a deep sense of social responsibility! She 'created' a awareness in a whole village of innocent people!)

Being self

“Paradoxical” is the word that describes the feeling that I had to go through when I could bring myself to write something about ‘being self’.

The experience is rich, but when it comes to conveying the experience, there is a lot of hesitation. The hesitation is about the apprehension that the reader might be easily led to misconstrue what is being sought to be said.

The simple experience is that at least till the time I could complete about 5 to 7 years of schooling, I never knew any other way to be than myself! And honestly, it never occurred to me that others would feel any differently than this. The earliest memory of being required to be something else than being myself, was when a new teacher suddenly looked up at me and announced in the class “You will be the monitor”. There was a gush of strange experiences surging within me. It was almost like suddenly finding our image when looked at into a mirror resembles a strange monster! I knew almost all the trouble makers in the class, who would easily find a place in the list to be created by a class-monitor. The reason was simple. All of them were my very close friends! This was the only unenviable part of the task to be performed by a monitor. Other than that, it was mostly running errands for the teacher. Fortunately for me, this new assignment did not last more than a couple of days, and nobody really felt me as a ‘monitor’, and the whole thing was forgotten too soon. Even I would have forgotten it, but for that strange and new experience of being something other than myself! The experience kept haunting me, and used to ‘trap’ me, at the most inconvenient times, into a deep thought process!

Later, I just happened to fit into any role given to me, so that ‘being’ something else really never troubled me.

Much later, as spiritual quest began deepening, more surprises awaited me. The ‘role’ at times seemed more original than the ‘self’ that I was so well accustomed with! And it is these roles that usually irked people around me quite often. It is not that I could not contain myself, to remain peaceful with others. But I could not hold back, what I could do when I saw the potential within the others around. This struggle, this effort, this persistence helped me to understand, what not-being-self can do to others, or anyone.

It is in this backdrop that I did attempt to answer a question that had some fragrance of a genuine ‘seeking’. The details that followed the question impressed me a lot. Especially, the mention of a ‘mask’ that covers the ‘self’!

PSN(18^th April, 2011)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AiIML1KwXzg1bsu_T4GVKuaRHQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20110331032637AAw1cP4

Can I be myself again? (A psychological question too)?

For those who have read my previous 2 questions , you would be more aware of my problem.Wearing a mask character made me lose my own personality (as I think).Pretending to be someone else for the comfortability of others have destroyed myself,what I was.Now I am filled with a horrible emotionlessness state.My high passions are gone, my thirst to study is also gone.Can I ever regain what I was , can I ever get that fiery spirit of passion and desires of my education and job.I want them as at present my mind is very blank.I have no desire to improve in anything.My academic brilliance is falling.I studied very well in previous , lowerclasses.But when the need for study is at the highest point in my academic life(Next Year Board Exam) I am not feeling any urge to study.I am a mere teenager with the whole of future infront of me.I know perfectly well that if I don't put on my best efforts in my education my previously cherished dreams , hopes all will be no more.But still even being aware of these facts I don't feel a thing.I have at least 10 years of education waiting infront of me.I don't know if I am feeling like this from this early age,what would my attitude be at the most hard work demanding(academicaly) times of my life.I am about to face my ClassX board exam around this time next year.If I am not preparing I will lose,by cheating not only myself but also my loving parents wh have set the expectations high in me.If I do so,then I don't see any point in living anymore.I just want my previous self back again.I want my passion or the ardent desire to concentrate on my goal.I had dreamt a lot about my brilliant perfomance in the coming class and in the XII too.But at present ,do you think I can make it?Now only I realise that having no stress and tension can ruin a man's life.I just want my spirit of passion back.Once my friend told me not to have much expectations.So I stopped expecting and you know without hoping or expecting,a man can never do his best.This too happened to meI know it is a lot boring to read till this end and I am sorry about it.But please help me as this is a most disturbing time for me.I would be very grateful if you tell me some effective study tips too.

My answer:

Very relevant, to mention that this is a psychological question too.
Those who are having that subtle ability to 'choose', for them, it is a philosophical question.
Those who are driven by the crazy state of mind, for them it is a psychological question, since their mind is just available with an open window through which somebody else can open, with lots of restrictions.
.
Now, please see, the very fact that the mind is asking about it, is enough proof that there is the ability to decide, the ability of choice, to choose. Which simply means, we have the 'discerning' power. This is available only to those who are in this 'human frame' ! If an open mind can understand the value, the significance, worth and time-limitation of this 'discerning ability' (the precious human lifetime!), only then something worthwhile "becomes" (happens-to-be) the choice of such a person. For all others, it is just 'yet-another-life'!
..
It is to be considered very fortunate that there is a thought process which has discovered that 'wearing a mask character made me lose my own personality....'
..
To make a humble beginning, please try out a very simple, but quite ancient and time tested device. Breath-watching. Elaborating the benefits, would raise the expectation so high, that now, the expectations itself would become a stumbling block for the benefits to accrue. (One thing can be said, to inspire, motivate, or even to reassure , that, when this breath awareness deepens, the thought process would become cohesive, smooth, and positive. Once the positive takes over, things would fit in at its proper place, and then you would be more towards your own very self!).
Best wishes.