It was in our school
lesson... (Must be 'Aesop's fables')..
I have to be very brief
with the story (it is too famous, already)...
A fox lost its tail, when
it tried to come out of a trap... It saw its own reflection on the
still surface of a pool of water and felt ashamed... It cannot
appear before other foxes, in an 'as is where is basis'... It
called for a Annual General Meeting of all the 'tail-holders' among
foxes (like the share-holder's/stake-holder's meeting we have...)..
It explained that this tail is a useless burden to carry, especially
in the present day 'race' where we have to run away fast from all
problems of life, and our speed is not even enough, when problems
even overtake us, and wait ahead to pounce on us all-at-a-time,
etc... Dump the tail... you will feel free... 'see I have a
personal experience too!'
It appealed to young ones
who constituted the 'majority-stake-holders' (the tail is that
'stake'!)...
Some where from a corner,
an old fox, chose that appropriate pause in the speech, and said,
'Hey, that is because you already lost your tail!... come out and
show your true colors, your inner peace-of-mind, after having lost
the tail, and let people decide!' And then the other foxes got the
message... The resolution failed.. AGM over... Tails saved...
Tale served even!
But the foxes are
'original' in their cunningness!
We are only trying to
'copy-paste' their cunningness!... It works, but not for too long!
I saw a few elders around
me even at home, criticising 'traditional' rituals as 'out-dated',
useless, waste of time, meaningless, blind-faith, false-sentiment
etc... And yet, almost a few among them, insisting that I follow
some of the 'family-rituals', like mumble a prayer before that photo
of the God, but only after lighting the oil-lamp (God-ji is
electric-bulb-blind... like we are 'color blind' ... even rich
people who could afford those colorful 'series-bulb-decoration' did
not do-away with oil lamp!).... Temples in Kerala prohibit electric
bulb inside sanctum, but it is okay outside it... Those were
childhood memories...
Those who criticised,
usually happened to be from 'that lot' who really never tried to
experiment with these rituals rigorously (it was a part-time affair
for them like some hobby, when there is nothing better to do, try out
these rituals.. as a precautionary measure to create a
'case-history')...
That spouse of my
neighbourhood uncle... brilliantly justified, “What to do?..
cost of living is spiraling so high! Tomatoes is now 2 annas per
seer, last week it was just one and a half anna!.. I personally do
not approve my husband accepting bribe, and I have 'very clearly'
told him so... Our scriptures have said, we have to one day pay for
our sins! But, when somebody 'voluntarily gives a little money, how
could he say no?.. And, having accepted that money, how can he
delay the 'giver's papers'? ... We have the spiraling cost of
living, and we have to save something for kids, education, marriage,
etc' ... The next door lady just listens... No harm in
'just-listening'! (The bribe-taker has lost his tail... he is
creating a majority!... Very soon, bribe can even be legalised!).
...
As I grew up... I felt,
something is not okay with those who complain about our own
culture... There are too many contradictions! How did these
scriptures stand the test of time? Is it possible that the whole
population was totally stupid for 5000 years? Then what happened to
that proverb, 'All men cannot be fooled for all the time'? And yet,
nothing was tangible like those school's chemistry lab experiment...
'blue litmus turns red'! Even small thing which looked like
miracles seemed within the range of explanation! That paper placed on
a tumbler full of water, carefully inverted, and the hand gently
removed, the water does not fall (the physics teacher did not even
sound excited while 'explaining' this miracle!.... My excitement
seemed stupid, when the 'learned' teacher delivered this lesson, so
casually like the bus-conductor issuing proper ticket, not even
looking at the face of the passenger!)
It was then, I decided,
best way is to find out for myself, if these ancient rituals,
practices, traditions, and scriptures were worth it, or were bogus!
None of these rituals
yielded any 'tangible' experience... clipping the nose, mumbling
some chant brought no chemical or physical change, between before and
after!
The 'nature of
declarations' of the scriptures did not seek any kind of patronage,
sponsorship, acceptance, adherence or following... they simply
declared it in the tone, as we would say 'Sun rises in the East'!..
If the interpretation of its meaning is 'blind' then we are in deep
trouble, in finding out which is east, when we are 3 lakhs miles away
from earth, and the Sun is still visible clearly!... It may not
'rise' at all, forget 'east'... It has to 'set' first of all, in
order to 'rise'! And most of the things that they 'declared' are not
easy to understand, feel, see or perceive!
I wished, if only that
'fox story was the other way'! (right now the bulk of present day
crowd is already the other way! They have dumped not just one,
several of their tails!.. and they are busy, persuading other
foxes.. Somebody's girl ran away on the eve of wedding, and now
they 'approve' freedom to run away (not using exact words, 'to run
away'... but in a polished, diplomatic way, ... even a girl must
have freedom to do what they like!.. True! When everybody, right
from politicians who play with scams, adults who give and accept
bribe, the passers-by ignore an accident victim, the police play the
other-role often, why not this girl or boy, do what-they-like? All
have the freedom to get their tails removed-for-good!)... During
August, 1970 , I had a wonderful experience... the Higher secondary
exams got delayed due to 'Telangana-Agitation' and the atmosphere was
'charged'... Mass copying was 'unofficially-official' and
allowed... the invigilator's life was more precious than
implementing 'no-copying allowed' so strictly! Everybody in that
hall where I wrote, cheerfully got their tails cut off... I was the
only idiot who did not feel like doing it... And, the only way that
poor invigilator found, to very-safely appreciate me was, by bringing
the 'extra' answer sheets, and the small piece of thread ('tag' they
call it, used to tie up the loose answer sheets), right up to my
seat, and perhaps praying silently that nobody notices it.. I too,
would not have noticed (the heat was double in my head, trying to
compete with a handicap!), had he not brought it unasked, by just
noticing that I reached the last line of the paper (anyway, he had
nothing better to do, since 'invigilation' now amounted to only
claiming an amount stipulated for the day's work!)... I could not
convince or explain my close friends with any 'good' reason for my
stupidity! (And, at that age, I lacked the courage to spell out my
hidden agenda! Spiritual seeking did not need any qualification...
just two-times-meals.. for which, at least in those days, a +2 pass
was not so essential!)... The small marks did surprise me, it was
far more than I expected, because, there was a rumour that evaluation
was going to be tough! Now, when I look back, Maya-Madam must have
given me 'secret-marks' for my stupid-honesty too!
I could see it clearly...
Spirituality is a personal affair, no point in looking at other's
tail, whether it is missing or not! Strangely enough... I now seem
to be able to 'guess' why those ancient masters just 'declared' and
left it! What they said, the contents, the worth of it, does not
seem to anyway depend on anybody to sustain!... We can just
'be-with-it'.. we cannot 'depend' on it even, the way we depend on
our 'bank-balance' to just 'show-off' and impress an onlooker!..
That 'be with it' is at very deep level! The medical science is
unable to define death, beyond 'clinical-death'! Maybe, it has not
yet understood 'life' properly!... Good enough reason for me to go
within and find out for myself!... (Here I must say, I found the
'genuine' researchers in the scientific-community, slightly better
than 'aam aadmi', maybe out of sheer practical experience of years,
when they are able to effortlessly curb their 'tendency' to 'justify'
their theory in a great hurry!... They have been a great source of
inspiration for me, when I read their personal life in renowned
magazines like Readers' Digest, etc, where they are 'open-minded' on
an on going basis... and not in a hurry to suggest to others to chop
of their tails too!)
Somewhere, there was a
very strong-structure in place!... Embedded systems... when the
intensity of search got heated up sufficiently, the hidden switches
got lighted up, and it illuminate a little bit, showing a small path
through that dark tunnel, where hither to it looked only like a dead
end, in that pitch dark!... Now, it is fun, watching both the sides,
'like that cat on a wall', but with slight difference... ensure that
we fall only on to the other side, not this side again, whether it is
by accident, we slip, we get pushed, we fall, or even the wall
collapses! While on the wall, it is easier to look and be seen too,
for yet others who like to 'hear' about what is on the other side..
and then it is for them to take it or leave it... the other side of
it was never dependent on 'opposition's outside-support'!!!
psn (24th Sept, 2013)
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