I am an idiot

 Yes.

And this idiocy is a part of the original equipment in me ( karmic/causal body)

Why else would I misconstrue that sage Patanjali was addressing the first line of his monumental work ( yoga sutras) in a strange way,......was being to be addressed to me? 🤔

And now, yoga … he says ( अतः yoganushasanam). When you ‘saw' that nothing else has worked, now……the discipline of yoga! A teacher even emphasized this to me ( a guru who opened my eyes using strange non-invasive and subtle surgery. A bearded one, whom I knew as jaggi, in this birth! He even went to the extent of demonstrating to me, by me, for me…...about a possibility of the phenomenon  called rebirth 😜 . He did it quite-irrefutably.)

Thus the embedded nature in me that “this author was addressing only_you, you-idiot”( others were given a litmus test in the very-next verse/sentence, and therefore bulk of the reader adopted a need-not-read further, or read plus forget👍). Nature provided a teacher as well, for my lessons in yoga, and he taught me how to stay “within his range, irrespective of proximity”. Mobile towers need certain periphery to remain within its range of connectivity.

This “meant for me” concept took deep roots in me🙏😰

I started misconstruing that, the welfare of others around is my primary concern ( duty consciousness…..as opposed to “fight for my rights” wala attitude….😭). I have been paying a heavy price for this misfit-attitude. Only of_late, being battered mercilessly, i learnt to try-to-disengage myself in its manifest-form, from the lives of others 🙏

Now that I have explained about the unique and beyond-repair idiot-in-me,

look at a few souls who went unacknowledged …..

The evaluator of an answersheet who awarded a centum to an examined, was never known to have been a recipient of "thank you" from the centum/gold medal awardee😜…  the teacher gets thanked, the parents & well wishers get thanked. Ironically, a fellow getting lesser or fail scores seldom misses to curse that paper-evaluator🤣. Only brickbats for him, no bouquets 🙏😰.

Saturn too is looked at as a punishing_evaluator, despite his label as KARMAPHALAdaata/giver of fruits of past actions ( i am a “living evidence” that saturn gives blessings too🙏. And, Unconditionally too. I never had to propitiate shani-dev.  Mind you he is dev…god….not shaitaan/devil 😜. Gods are benevolent and not vengeful 🙏. Just that, he/saturn is assigned the unpleasant task of awarding NEGATIVE marks as well. If,  the failures with negative scores are in majority, is it fair to curse a “god”? Shani-Dev?

Oops! None of my concern….what you choose to call-him! 😞 sorry!

When a whole_perspective is based on a stupidity like “meant for me, addressed to me, for my sake alone, my duty unto others, others are my concern etc”…..the functionality of such an idiot(me) presents no difficulty to identify  me as an ‘original idiot’.  ( nature obliges by responding with a smile, when I look at earth, trees, air, water, sky and space etc……as “meant for me…my mom, from whose womb I came forth” etc!.  I can perhaps, find solace in the lap of this mom, not too late, either as ashes, or as decomposable organic garbage!)

Hope this helps, 

those around me( my victims, especially) 

to try to find a “way”

to pardon me for

My Unpardonable idiosyncrasies 👍

Idiotically yours,

psn(28 oct 2024)