Nervous Relaxant...

I k-n-o-w, .... 'nerve-relaxant' would sound more appropriate...!

But it is our 'concern' about being appropriate too often than needed, is .... what is getting nervous!

What we intend to use as a 'relaxant', as a kind of 'anticipatory-bail' for any possible nerve-arrest, leading to various dis-orders within, when the outer-orderliness is under a threat!

Even as a kid, I used to be intrigued, when I find that the opening dialogues after the 'namaskar-chamatkar' etc used to be about climate... If the remark about the climate gets a unanimous vote or a 'general-consensus', then they take courage to mention their opinion about the weather...

Then comes the contentious 'issues' like individual health... which has to be dealt very very carefully! The use of very safe words, like 'looking litte-bright'... little-(pause... look for tell-tale anxiety symptoms).. then add—dull/weak/pulled down/etc...

Arey! Coming down on an annual visit, spending precious time and money, are we going to discuss only 'non-controversial-issues' like climate, weather, and other things, which are actually better-understood-than-the-humans, by even animals, birds, insects etc? Endless discussions about weather has not made any one better or smart, as to take an umbrella on the 'right-day'....

Some day, when I grow up perhaps , ... I said to myself... (the size of the brain would grow proportionately, and thus would accommodate more data for 'proper-analysis-perhaps'.. etc), and then I would find out the 'why' of such 'safe-topics' being discussed too-often!

When I crossed that age, where a 'physical-punishment' is going to be far-unlikely... I experimented with dialogues like, 'Your bathroom feels a little slippery' and then wait... !!! There is an insurance-policy 'ready' and handy.. just in case of need... (I don't subscribe for anticipatory-bail.. Karma theory doesn't tolerate such bail-applications, ever! If somebody 'still-persists' the future judgements are 'including-costs'!). So, I 'wait'... The usual response is either an 'excuse or a lament' . The 'excuse' is when there is no one else around to pass the buck(the blame).. The lament is when somebody-else can be nailed... A few are not interested in 'relaxant' software, and they boil-down on me... that is when the 'insurance-policy' comes handy, and I say, “Oh! Now I recollect.. my underfoot was oily, and the bathroom floor was wet... and so 'it' must have slipped!” (The heavy insulating clause of this insurance policy is in 'it' (literally too!).. If I say, “I slipped” or even a dilute form of it, 'my-foot-slipped'... my own 'relaxant' is going to become 'nervous'!... Yep!!! The 'pronouns' come handy for an escape from a blame-game... The 'cup slipped' (I was 'never-never' careless about 'handling the cup'..!).. But, the lottery ticket never had won by 'itself'! I won it!...

Thus, I discovered... when people meet.. only the 'apprehensive-minds' meet, nobody-else(within those people)!.. My discovery could be wrong!.. They why is it that when kids meet, they come close too-fast? Emotions-meet?.. Yep! With adults, it is either the logically-apprehensive-minds, or the negatively-apprehensive-emotions (exceptions 'over-ruled', by your-Honour!... Judge-wala-honour, or the 'honour' we carry somewhere inside us .. dunno, where it is exactly safe-deposited-in-locker within... but we know, we carry some 'honour'.. don't ever allow others to touch it!)...

The further 'complexities' that the simplicity--of 'non-controversial-topics' which 'seemed' to favour us too often, and had managed to hide within—got revealed only when I had opted to volunteer for intense programs of spiritual nature! That is when I tried to coin a phrase for my 'private and personal reference' : 'Simplicity is not always bereft of its complexity'...

This compulsiveness to insulate the 'ground-realities', using the 'non-controversials' to deliberately camouflage the surge of revulsion, thus treating the non-controversial as a 'relaxant' for both-sides, ... I try to guess... that it might create some kind of accumulated negative-residue, deep within... and ...either.... it erupts like a volcano, when somebody counters a 'non-controversial-dialogue' with a 'provocative-one'.. or .. it slowly takes a toll of the nervous-system, like a silent destroyer of some vital organ, and then turns into a silent killer, over a period of time! The span extends over too large a period of time, and hence remains elusive to a close scrutiny.. But I guess, medical science too is on the look out for 'specialists' in large numbers in the field of “Psychoneuroimmunology”...

Be it as it may... But, what about a progress on spiritual path, with this kind of a mind, which has 'defaulted' itself, to function a bit 'non-controversially' all the time? How is it going to recognise the mile-stones? It is either 'excessive-humility' or a 'stout-refusal' to accept the 'real-weather/climate' within!!!

On a forum, be it for a spirited-spirituality-even... it is about 'fair-weather-friends'... and so, it is so safe to copy paste 'standard-stuff'.. and insist on a 'standard' non-controversial comment/response! (there is no dearth for a variety of stuff, waiting to be copy pasted!)... Our 'immunity-system' works so flawlessly ... when it is about 'proverbs, adages, ... why, even those spiritual concepts!' Oh! It is a real challenge now, for a 'genuine-spiritual-teacher' to try to make some dent, into such an immunity system, even if it means .. about using some kind of virus, bug, or such unconventional tools/techniques!

Controversially yours,

psn(1st of the October, in 2014)