Logically psychological?

Absurd-looking.... at the very first-look.

Psycho- we know what it means... but when it becomes logical... !

...

and then it is 'psychology'... as a science!...

...

(One of the earliest words that eluded our ability to spell it correctly at school... it was a struggle... the next fellow wispers.. 'kya yeh choice mein chod sakenge...?' phonetically most unhelpful... but the very nature of the subject is 'revealed' so honestly in its difficulty to spell... it does cast a spell!)...

.....

When somebody did ask, that illogical looking question.. “Does Logic relate to Psychology? :)?”...

...

I thought.. why not give it a try?... have been shying away for too long... (even otherwise, spiritually oriented people are prone to be looked at as 'potential-psychos'... not those who 'study' spirituality for academic purpose... the problem is about only those clandestine yogis!... right inside the market-place, and yet.... well by now, we know....)....

psn 28^th June, 2012

quote: (I did enjoy other answers... let us see, what the 'vote-bank' says!)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120622204120AAU6Vsb

the question was:

“Does Logic relate to Psychology? :)?”

My attempt to look at it (was/is) as:

The science , by itself ever strives hard to relate it...
But essentially, it deals with emotions.... emotions are beyond the reach of logic... 
But to teach it as a science, logic is needed...
That complicates the process of teaching, learning, and practicing too! (psychiatry)...
Any complication means more money in it!

Abuse

“Did they too ... used to abuse each other?”

...

That grand lady never expected this question, and was a little taken aback!!

...

I would not give up ... 'Please granny... I persisted.... tell me.... '... I ran after her hurried steps, carrying the heavy load of just-washed-brass vessels indoors... my tiny legs hardly able to keep pace with her... Amazing, ....her performance... pretty old, a little hunch-backed even, and this heavy load of ancient style-thick walled brass vessels seemed to defy logic... It hastened her pace instead of retarding it... (Later, I was reminded of this gait of hers, when I saw that physics experiment at school science-exhibition 'the roller that defied gravity'!!)...

...

She settled down, first pounded the betel nut, rolled it up into that betel leaf, tucked it into one side of jaws, and said 'You are so stubborn'... she gathered me onto her lap, and proceeded 'Well, Yes! ... they too abused children and even elders, when somebody committed a stupidity' ... but not like now... 'Their abuse was for good!'... 'How?', I asked.... then she explained with a couple of examples... “Nasha-mathhu... Po?” she quoted, and her version was 'May you never perish!'...

Another one was 'Kurutham-Piddikyattum to you',,, Now it is 'You are kurutham kettavan' ... kurutham in a popular sense is 'good-fate' or 'destiny'... something like 'well-fated'.. you have to earn that kurutham, by receiving blessing, obeisance to elders etc... so 'kurutham-may it accrue to you' became later 'a fellow depleted of kurutham'.... (I look at it as 'Guru-twam'... which might have got diluted into a dialect)... Okay.. ... I thought.... sane fellows, those ancients.... kept their cool even while abusing....

...

At school, we were prohibted from uttering 'bad-words'.... We were uninitiated into the art of 'abuse' (we knew, .....'use, misuse, improper use, less use, more-useful', etc... a bit earlier... so 'abuse' was not yet within our reach!)... But it was not entirely without problems.... we had to keep a good stock of 'bad-words' if we were to outwit others... sometimes, we had to request our friend to prompt us..... 'arey yaar, give some new bad words... his list is exhaustive'... I was the unfortunate fellow, when one day, I tried to defend a friend of mine, when the matter came up to that teacher... and said “Teacher, he does not know Good-bad-words...”.. She burst into a laughter... (I kept wondering.. what was wrong with what I said... “Good” was what elders said when we do well, so that “quality” bad words ought to be “good-enough” to demolish the opponent flat! ..... Then why the hell did they misguide me with that movie “The Good, Bad and the Ugly”... all were bandits... just that one was better than the rest at 'banditing...... bandature, or bandaging... whatever...'.... So, a good banditor, bad banditor, and ugly one!!! Even there, the stupidity of incessantly abusing was so beautifully picturised... One bandit, who got the first shot said “When you want to shoot, shoot... don't talk!”.. (the recepient of those fatal shots, had the gun already aimed, but was busy pampering his own ego, by hurling abuses at his victim who was in the bath tub... This idiot had spent almost months, just chasing the other one to 'shoot' him ...)

.....

I cannot hope to get away easily with wah-wah like last time, where quotes from famous people carried the 'show' when I wrote about 'quarrel-in-style, when inevitable'.....

But....

This time, I hope I am on time.... the heat is on... (tawa garam hai... abhi bhi..)! Last time somebody blamed me for the delay about 'quarrel-in-style... when inevitable'... Hope this is atonement.. (No stone, I left unturned to get an exact word for 'atone-ment' in desi language... Praayah:Chitta, Pashchyat-taapah, etc did not seem that-exact, from spiritual point of view, though for day to day purpose, all these, and even 'parihaar' etc seemed okay.)

psn(26^th June, 2012)

Humility and Gratitude

Of late, I am running into serious trouble.....

I am made to look at the very basics, once again (or is it 'yet-again'...not quite sure... which way it suits aptly!)...

Hardly have I recovered out of the trauma due to that 'lament Vs 'ability to see other's point of view'....

and now this 'somebody' hovering above my mind (most of the time), asks me .. “Can Humility and sense-of-Gratitude” reside in a person exclusively also? (either ways, Only humility, no gratitude, or.... only gratitude, no humility?)

...

'What is your problem.... exactly?' I tried to put the ball in back into the other's court....

'Oh!... not about any exactitude.... just trying to see, if there could be a short-cut.... somebody finds 'humility' too hurting, painful, too-large-a-pill to swallow, why not the other one ?... vice-versa..... anyway, forget it... don't try to feign humility about 'I don't know'....' was the subtle 'dig'

....

For quite some time, I had been blabbering a lot of abstract concepts, and it is all snowballing back into me ('towards' me... was what I like to look at it , seeking consolation!).... Very wrong to 'assume' that we can afford to play with abstract-concepts.... later on interpret it either way, to suit our way... Didn't work! Karma theory :)

...

I have a forum... now!

(And lesser the response, better the safety.... I can postpone... eating my own words!)

....

But, ..... I was reminded of somebody who told me.... years ago.... every breath that we inhale, we owe it to those greenery around.... and they await humbly, for our exhalation, which is so precious for their life! (My joy of 'that time' ..... was obviously short lived.... what I dreamt was, even doing nothing.... even as an idly-sitting parasite, .... I was 'contributing' to life on this planet, just exhaling regularly, after every inhalation! Even breathing became a joy (that started off the whole problem... that joy inside..... it asked for more.... 'yeh dil maange more!')

psn (23^rd June, 2012)

I have a lament

Oh! This is just to solicit views....

Somebody asked me to see, if these two things do not seem to co-exist....... (at least, they are inversely proportional!)....

Like.... light Vs Darkness (one good example is enough... no need to elaborate)..

“Lamenting ... Versus ... ability to see things from the other's point of view...”

Those who lament (habitually), are they less able than others to see things from other's point of view!?

I don't know.... would like to keep the options open to 'see'...!

...

But, if it is true... the 'tell-tale-evidence' reduces the task of head hunters a lot! That lamenting cannot be suppressed for too long!

psn(22nd June, 2012)

Why do you live where you live?

A deep question, if we look at it philosophically!

..

Laaga chunari mein daag.... Yeh duniya sasuraal! (this whole world is an in-law's house!) might be one of the reasons!

....

Some of us are unable to expand their attention span to read lengthy explanations....

So, I merely quote what seemed to have worked with a person at a far away home of theirs!

psn(20^th June, 2012)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ak8neGE4f9mTpw3gJQskBlORHQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20120619171737AAuxVRD

Details of question:

I'm feeling a little philosophical today I guess. 
Basically, I'm not happy with America right now - of course, not many people are, but still.
The corruption in our government (as well as fellow citizens) has reached an all time high.
I have this bad feeling that something very big and very bad is going to happen, and I don't want to be here when the sh!t hits the fan.
The thing is, it never occurred to me that I could LEAVE the country until recently.
And I think the reason why is mainly do to my security here. (Family, friends, job, home, car....)
So it got me thinking... are those the only reasons I'm here?
I could get a new job, new house, new car, new friends, and start my own family in another country.
So why not? - It still sounds crazy for some reason to leave.
I've always wanted to travel to Norway, but when presented with a job opportunity through my place of employment, I was reluctant to fill out the application. I viewed the job opening every day until it disappeared. It reappeared two days later because there were no applicants, and I still didn't have the courage to apply for some reason, though I desperately wanted to.
I really regret it now; I wonder what would have happened - how different my life would be.
Are there other reasons people stay within their home country?
I seriously can't think of why else I would stay here, yet can't bring myself to leave
So please share your thoughts with me.
Why do you live where you live instead of somewhere else?

My Answer:

Those enlightened people..... they come out of that concept of 'home' and look at it the way other living beings view it... as 'shelter'!
The "self-awareness"... which is unique to humans, makes it a matter of choice, about every action that we do consciously.... deciding to move is a conscious act... we feel possessive about places too... we get emotionally attached and we defy logic, spending much more than it is worth to retain possession of something we are attached to.... place is no exception. We seek 'security' in familiar things... Some emotion binds us... Almost all birds, animals, etc drive out their kids, to live their life, once they grow a little.... And we know what we do! Saintly people overcome this restricted love!

Milestone

We are still 'stuck' to calling them so.... the display on it is perhaps Kilometers .....

On a spiritual path, acknowledging one's own milestones is of tremendous significance! The very progress to a next level, sometimes depends quite heavily on the very depth of the level at which this 'process' of acknowledging happens!! Obviously, the cohesive functioning at the present level is more precarious, and the very same 'acknowledging' level decides it.... there is a slight difference.... the side effects of stagnation gives a reasonably early warning to the person concerned... and usually it goes unheeded... the manifestation becomes pronounced and is grossly noticeable by yet others, when it is a bit late to rectify 'that-easily'!

To illustrate this, I wish to try with a typical example, trying to draw our attention towards the subtle difference between delegation of powers and divesting of powers... (it is up to us to seek that 'dramatised' practical examples from day to day life, and seek data, and then draw inferences....)

On a spiritual path, somebody finds that what ever he thinks seems to 'happen' a few more number of times, the number is sufficient to prevent disregarding it casually as a 'coincidence' etc.... Now if this is true.... please see what a refusal to 'acknowledge the milestones' can do... the thought process goes on unbridled.... the actualisation is 'on'... the consequences are there ... (cause subtle and effect gross!).... If the acknowledgment is proper (not necessary to 'declare' it openly..... the 'better' ones would anyway know about it :) ..... if the acknowledgement is proper, that person becomes cautious about one's own thought process! Response-ability.... to the new ability within....

...

Typically, the strong bond with a guide, teacher etc... with 'trust' as the main reinforcing ingredient, obviates the 'ability' even, to undertake that 'acknowledgement of milestones properly'... A very close look at 'self-evolved' people would convince us the difference!

...

A gross example of wrong application of the concepts of delegation and divesting of powers(for example)... is wonderfully dramatised in a movie... Terminator-3 (rise of machines)... the 'skynet' or that 'machine-villain' is now not going to listen to its own master(maker/creator... whatever)!... Now, if we look at our life-energy, (sorry.... not in its raw form... not all of us are fortunate to at once look at it 'thus').... life energy, in the manifest form, the human-being , the delegation of 'divine' powers 'looks' as if it is absolute, self-created powers (not even divested, .... empowered.... acquired.. etc!!!).... the more intelligent among us defy the very existence of the source of that 'life-energy', and that is the greatness of this subtle-delegation... it can afford such great risk! Existentially it looks to be the greatest risk.... But, beyond existence (sorry ... I am not able to describe it properly... that 'other than existence') , there is hardly any risk! ... Beyond a point, it is a pathless path.... so no question of milestones even! (Na rahey baans, na bajey baansuri....!)

....

(Let us not accept the milestones which are painted by others, fancifully, as really belong to us! On the other hand, If I have evolved into a 'live-wire' let me not act as if 'I am trying to be too humble', in the eyes of others... and miss the vulnerability.... un-insulated, I might give shock to others, unwired properly, I may go 'hay-wire' and short-circuit my own growth itself!... It is perfectly okay to remain heavily insulated, properly 'earthed' and yet allow innocent passers-by to meddle with us!... call it by any name you like... clandestine yoga... mysticism etc.. :)........)

...

psn(20^th June, 2012)

Emotions at Night

Somebody asked a beautiful question!

Quote:

Why emotions are deep during night time and less deep during daytime?

I have observed myself...Day resists my emotions but during night , my emotions are bright.
Why so ???

unquote:

It may not be so for everyone.... that is beside the point...

There is no denying that spiritual activities happen better, when consciously pursued, during night! It is just in the 'nature of things'.... How to make use of it is entirely up to us... That is why, practitioners of occult sciences, that ill-famed 'black-magic' etc are also said to be more active during night...

Traditionally, the three nodal points, sunrise, mid-day, and sunset are considered to be significant for a person who leads a worldly life... (Tri-sandhya)... where as, the fourth one 'midnight' (4^th Sandhya), finds three kinds of people active... bhogi, rogi, and yogi (the indulgant, dis-eased, and the seeker)....

Undoubtedly, it is the intuitive aspect of the mind, which finds itself a bit 'freed' of the logical pre-dominance of the mind, with that extra-support from the nature around (nature within ???... I leave it to mystic-way of explanations!)....

psn (18^th June, 2012)

My answer on that forum:

quote:

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120613052925AATslRX

Almost everything in nature supports the emotions to be so!
Please see, the logical mind finds little scope to divide when a person is in a pitch dark area, eyes open! During the day time, the thought process is incessantly involved in identifying everything that we see with our eyes.. the proof is, when the eye meets something 'strange' (never seen it before), we experience a 'pause'. At night nothing like that can happen.. Yes, we can argue, we have those bright electric devices, but these devices cannot affect the physiology like the Sunlight... (During solar eclipse, the birds... other noisy creatures... do not make much sound!)... astrologically (In ancient Indian way of looking at it), planet Moon is connected with mind, and Sun is said to represent the person as a whole.... the earth's gravity-system is different during night... Human body is fluids for about 70 percent ... phases of moon affect large water bodies .... high tides during full moon... some effect is there on human body... inmates of mental asylum too exhibit extra activity at night, and during full moon/new moon.... The focus of our mind is naturally inclined inwards at night (meditative practices for intense seekers happen during mid-night)... for normal people, that drowsiess is induced better during night... (proof: some people who complain bright lights disturbs their sleep at night, ... the same people comfortably catch a brief nap after a heavy lunch under the shade of a tree on a bright sunny afternoon!... the night-induced-sleep, is different from the stomach induced nap of day-time!)...
..
This observation about emotions-at-night being different from day time .... is an amazing one! 
(This elaboration is obviously inadequate... but other readers may feel fatigue with a longer one... At least if this one persuades further seeking, the purpose is achieved!)

Apologetic Gesture!

Somebody 'bugged' the answering community with a question about ritualistic aspect of 'apology'.

It reminded me that we also place our forehead on a few pieces of stone (yes... sculpted ones, usually)... Even this seemed okay to me.... when I was a kid... no harm anyway.... no cost involved.... if there is some hidden benefit, let it reveal 'itself' at its own 'choice'.... then what is going to be my efforts in that direction?.... was the instant thought.... how do I work towards it, to be receptive enough, when it 'reveals' itself?.... At that kid-age, looking about is what we usually do.... mercifully, no 'rants' asking us to 'look within!'.... even if they did, I had a 'ready-reference'... all I needed to do was to point out at that baby-kid who turns back to 'look' for the source of the sound, when it happened to fart! ....

I happened to visit ruins of ancient temples in desolate forest area (about 45 years ago or so..)... The heads of a few 'Nandi' idols were missing.... Went close to 'look' at it .... there were square cavities at the neck region, in the middle, as if some crevice is carved out to place something.... I asked the local guide... he pointed to a few more Nandi idols, some of which 'escaped' the chopping... they were all single stone.... and then he proceeded to inform... some invaders happened to knock off the head, long ago, and discovered some precious stone embedded at that neck.... they now chopped a few more... some yielded such stones, some ... just half formed... yet others, just the cavity (all these in single, one-piece-blocks of stones of sculpting!)... Now I had an opportunity to re-look, super imposing the 'hearsay' that traditionally, we are not supposed to bow again before that Nandi, after coming out of the shrine of the main deity-shiva!'... These stones.... especially... the precious ones inside.... embedded into a cavity... by a evolved technique.... might perhaps, 'format' our head (if we have a brain in a good usable condition), and then we enter the shrine, imbibe the energy, and 'escape' notice of that Nandi, lest that 'bull' might re-format' the precious data again!).... That guide's eyes widened, and barely managed to withhold that new-found reverential look, when I offered this 'perhaps-plausible-explanation'! For me, that person was a chance to 'see' if it appeals to 'another' person also.... The appeal within me was way beyond just an appeal.. it was my turn to appeal to that unseen energy surging also into me (“please... I have other things to attend to right now!... may be some other time...” etc :).......)

..

Now we have that “low-viscosity-oil” for heavy 'transformers' (used by Electricity Boards.... earlier, these transformers used to 'develop' a kind of heat, 'ushna' which used to simply eat-up its life-span sooner.... we simply accepted it as 'it-is/has-been only like that'... recently, this oil changed the way these transformers perform and last! It did remind me about the ayurvedic oil that drips on the head of the patient, for a long duration, when our 'transformers' get heated up badly, and malfunction too!)..... the main ingredients are imported and repacked, charging the oil-base appropriately.... Technical experts might substantiate or deny this, for its worth... But we the lay persons, know that Electrical energy 'fatigues' the metal that conducts it from one end to another (the flow itself, causes this fatigue)... The copper wiring becomes fatigued over a period of time.... If we are willing to accept that it is not merely enough if the light 'burns' when a pair of copper wire is properly connected, then there is a possibility that we would see the wisdom in replacing with fresh-virgin-copper wires periodically to save the meter from running /spinning faster than it is really required to light up that bulb (fatigued wires eat up more energy on the way, it seems!).... Human body is the most sophisticated design we can see till date (may science evovle to beat this concept). We too use tools to rejuvenate the energy-carrying-cells, nerves, subtle channels, to economise using up energy, to build up higher level of charge, to ensure unhindered flow of energy, to regulate surges, etc... Subtle energies, I am referring to...

..

Now, if this seems a 'possibility' then bringing either the head or the object of reverence, close to each other... might seem logical enough .... (For infra-red connectivity, the two mobiles are brought into better-proximity than for that blue-tooth-connectivity!)... Spirituality afford both and more forms of connectivity, face-to-face, and remote !

Before this introductory details becomes too long.... the question itself!

psn(9^th June, 2012)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120608091020AA7gYuJ

Why do we Indian apologies when we put feet on Books, Language Words, pen?

accidentally...? what is the intention?

Additional Details

In india, while a child is being taught anything say ABC or Hindi, if they put their feet accidentally on study material, they are supposed to apologies by touching it to forehead. Not a joke. Specially Hindus.

My answer:

Even those who 'touch it to the forehead', usually think that it is an apology!
Strangely enough we have to hunt for an 'exact' word for 'apology' in most of the Indian languages! They use some words which seem to come very close... like 'Kshama' (Hindi)... so liberally... that it has come to stay as an equivalent to the 'apology'.... (this reference to Indian languages is perhaps necessary to reach the intrinsic significance of this 'action of apology' towards books!)...
True, the thought-process of saying 'I am sorry' or "I apologise" also brings us very close to the purpose (traditional purpose ) of touching it to forehead....
But otherwise, psychologically, this traditional , ritualistic-like-looking act also serves as a reminder to oneself to take care to rever such objects... Books, pen etc are tools of communicating the essence, the concepts of one's life experience (a deep understanding of somebody's experience obviates the need for us to go through the whole experience once again and waste a whole life-time! 'Reinventing the wheel... physically'.... not really needed... good enough to visualise that experience in much shorter time, using intense intuitive abilities).... incidentally, that word for apology 'Kshama' was once upon a time used to indicate 'capability'! (a person would thus wish... 'may I evolve into greater capability to be able to adequately rever this precious book'.... and the name "Kshamavaan" is an attribute to a deity also called as 'Shiva' propitiating whom, such capabilities are said to increase!
..

(I lean upon the last two sentences.... "Not a joke..." and "Specially..." when I ventured to give out this not-so-logical-looking-answer! :).... )

Understanding Body-Mind relationship

A specific question invokes a 'so-oriented' answer....

It is fortunate if the answer appeals to the mind that asks this question, whether such asking happens before looking at the answer or after it....

The appeal is very relative.....

The basic ingredient of such relativity is that the answer reaches the asker's mind.... for that the answerer has to firstly reach the mind of the asker! (When the answerer is an evolved person, it does not even matter if the question is latent in the mind of that asker, and perhaps the asker is oblivious of it!)..

Be it as it may.

I found a question that seemed to me to be asking about body-mind relationship in terms of its emotional-interdependence.....

I answered it, and await a verdict....

In the meanwhile, I felt like sharing it here too...

(When I write something out of my own inclination, the response is far less.... but when I respond, whether as a comment, or a reply, the response is slightly better.... I love both the situations for exclusive reasons ! :) .... yes... I am tempted to quote that famous 'self-contradicting' usage of a phrase “mutually exclusive”!)

psn(9^th June, 2012)

quote:

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ahl3GlLpU6FC.nvTqnXqtL6QHQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20120608192034AAIBBCk

Things to make me feel better emotionally?

Sometimes I will randomly just feel down or sad (like most people), and I wondered what types of things you do that help you break out of this mood?

My Answer:

We have to 'look' experientially, and then 'see' .... that our body and mind are 'connected' (logically, we seldom seek to deny it...). This is perhaps going to help to handle the situation ( of this question).
..
Body maintains an emotional experience of its own..... When body need urgent attention from us, it shoots up that pain sensation from the injured or di-eased limb/organ/etc...
Similarly, when the body is going through a 'cleaning' process, it tries to warn us, not to engage into any intricate work depending on the peak efficiency level of body (it is okay to do very routine functions)... we can notice this, when we somehow do not 'get into the mood' to relish something, doing it, or just enjoying it (though we know logically that it is something that we 'always' love to do or to have)! Women would 'agree' almost instantly, being very familiar with their monthly cycles..... Science has hinted that males too have similar 'spells' which are a bit subtle, and requires a little more attentiveness.... Since human beings are gifted with self-awareness, we have a choice to handling this very dextrously, to suit us, and to be benefited by us.... but somewhere there has to be a beginning at least! This wonderful question is such! 
..
Please see, certain nervous stimulants affect our moods.... 
Certain foods affect our moods...
A sudden mid-summer rain, the gentle spray of fine drops of rain scintillates us!
A sudden sighting of a beautiful painting, or that sudden vision of a vast landscape after an arduous climb to a hill top exhilarates us!
A cable (telegram) informing the very untimely departure of a very close person makes that 'just-about-to-eat-wonderful-feast (on a hungry stomach ) very unpalatable !
..
Understanding our body-mind relationship is essential to go beyond the both... if spirituality is also our inclination!

Ease

Not quite 'easy' .... this one at-least!

It was supposed to be a 'simple' word.... The only blunder perhaps, that I might have committed, when this word 'came into my life at first' (yes, that kid age.... 'Engleesh-medium ischoool' it was so... for most of the unlettered people around me, when they quizzed 'kaun se madarsey mein padthe hain aap?'.... the name(iscoool's name) did not matter much.... they were more concerned with what kind of mannerisms I was going to acquire during adulthood..... whether that amenable 'gaontee'(rustic).... or that 'stiff-collared' angrez-literate-babu, who spews out jargon to instill fear in gullibles, and makes a living 'only-thus'!) ...

Even when that 'strict' notice from the School-Principal was read out in a stern voice 'those who speak other than in English, except language classes of Hindi, and regional 2^nd language, will be penalised with a 'fine''... we kids dealt with it easily... For instance, I distinctly remember my ever—resourceful-classmate, when asked soon after this notice... by our teacher 'What's wrong with your feet?'.... (he was limping a bit... it was afternoon-session... during that lunch interval, we had a hectic game Kabbadi, we played rough, unmindful of consequences... serious pulling-of-each-others-legs, while at that game!)... that kid replied without even batting an eyelid.. “Teacher, I have a moch in my paun...” We never found it necessary to strain ourselves to find out that it was 'sprain'... for... the only place we had to strain ourselves , ... at that age... was when we had to ease, within a given time... not at our leisure. And that 'paun' is easy-altenative for 'foot-and-not-feet' (the teacher could ask about our feet, but we were expected to be precise to the exact foot! So dealing with which of the feet was a feat for us... then... a sudden forced shift to 'peak' in English.... I am sorry.... it was just e-speak!).. But admirably enough, that kid let that 'paun' into a wonderful rendition, like those long monotonous long notes (alaaps), which are let into a droole of 'n' in a beautiful descending note, during a vocal performance at a musical concert....

....

Some where in between, we were told, what is simple is not always quite easy!

(Example was: there is a finger to fold, the tongue to be doubled a little inwards, with that finger, and the air in the lungs to be let out in a gush, through the so-folded-tongue... but not every body manages to produce a shrill note that they call as 'whistle'!)

...

So, that 'easy' soon turned out to be too fuzzy ..... to make out. In those days, 'posh' people used to say 'I would like to ease myself'..... I wondered... is that why people squirm in their seats....? that urgency to ease... and they find it a bit uneasy thing.... due to a 'dis-ease'? Well this kind of 'dis-ease' is not that easy to disclose like those 'voluntary-disclosures'.... the embarrassment is quite understandable, when somebody is asked to sit in that vacant bus seat, and this fellow tries to 'turn a deaf ear' and secretly wishes, the driver might step on to the horn.... (Oh! How to 'explain' that being seated is an uneasy thing with this dis-ease!)... When some people squirm for quite sometime, restlessly, and I wondered (during that kid age) what is going on in their minds, when being seated in that 'reserved' seat is just 'all-about-parking' our bottom properly! Long journey in a train requires us to be 'seated' far better than in a brief-bus-journey!

Now, with high tech-techies that we find abound(or in abundance... whichever way it is)..... their relativity with 'IT' has made it easy for them to go easy on difficult courtesies like 'wanting to ease oneself'... for that 'matter', they even effortlessly manifest the slightest of un-easiness with that prefix of 'sh' to their 'it' and 'pronounce' it jointly! That is why they are so casual about 'great' as 'gr8' etc... Some of them, I have to admit, use 'Oh' when they are into 'admitting' their own folly, as an extended-prefix ... So evolved they are ..... from that 'easing oneself' with a strain once upon a time! (If you feel that I am stretching things too far... the 'topmost' villains {of our today's movies} look down to discover that their pants are wet,.... right up to the ankle, .... when they are face-to-face with that point-blank range piece of lead, waiting to be discharged 'easily' by that hero-cop, who find this method of dispensing justice more practical than producing the villain at a court!

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That illusion of 'Nothing is easier' kept shattering with the need to knead the intrinsic meaning of ease! The confusion compounds when we come to spiritual path.... Aghoris and their activities simply sets aside all our earlier illusions.... the stories that we hear.... they got enlightened 'just like that'... one touch, one look, etc... As if this is not enough, the far eastern Zen Masters scare us, when they go beyond that 'stripping us of easy-go-life'!

I joined that 'junior-NCC' at school.... This time I kept wondering at the commands “Attention” ('standing' implied...) but that 'At-ease' was explicitly prefixed with “Stand” (obviously not taking any chances.... some 'wise' guy might construe it to 'suit-his-convenience' and squat or lie down to be 'truly-at-ease'!... But I could not muster enough courage to ask that 'usthaad'.... their awesome 'looks' instilled great fears in most of us, and we were wearing just shorts, not even full-pants!)... Much later, those wonderful English movies ... the War movies... one high-ranking officer to other... dialogue was in style.... '(please be)...at your ease.....officer' (they had high-level espionage related issues to deal with .... not these rigid physical posture of 'attention'). We were initiated into that wonderful 'Indianised' (desi) version even as we just reached college level NCC! The 'caution' now seemed to me, to be addressed to 'mind', ..... way beyond the physicality... 'Saavdhaan' (be cautious, exercise caution, attentively enough)... and that 'Vi-shram' ('bereft of strain or stress'.... as I would like to look at it... 'shram-vihit' ... the same attentiveness, retained and intensified, by relaxing just the body... they even add 'aaraam sey'... when, during the next few moments they are going to elaborate on 'concepts'!!! I was at once awed by the depth of clarity thought of--about 'going easy'--, by the training department of our armed forces!).... Only that a few of the 'casual' co-cadets found it hard to suppress their giggle, when non-hindi speaking ustaads shrieked it to sound like 'Sou-dhan' (hundred-wealth), and 'bay-sharam' (shameless!)...

That 'easy' is inextricably entangled with words like comfort, discomfort, uncomfortable, etc...

Dexterity acquired with hard work makes it look 'easy' when we see people perform at trapeze or that gymnastics of Olympics... Sometimes, the 'easiness' of others is suddenly the cause of a 'dizziness' (was it a short form of dis-easy-ness?) for us (like...when we find that Michael Angelo saying “take infinite pains to create something that looks effortless”... what else can we infer, when we find so many reports of 'suicide' cases alongside the publication of matriculation/plus-two results, and kids let the 'life go out easily' despite their hard work for that upper-cut-off, where as, the previous people had a 'easy-go-life' whatever the results (it was just pass or fail... at10^th class... fail means... try and try again... no great hurry). Here we find ourselves in a great hurry to counsel them back into life first, rather than looking at the philosophical or spiritual aspect of 'easy' life!

Now, having come this far (or having reached this far..... look at it whichever way you find it easy/easier), I wonder..... if I have been 'easy' on some of us!

psn(8^th June, 2012)

Foot Prints of Emotion

Foot prints of 'communication-skill'... A place came to be known as 'Kalady' foot-prints... 'effectively' requested the river 'poorna' to follow his foot prints..... up to the hut from where his ailing-plus-aged mother could reach the water easily for her daily bath, etc.

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Scar-marks of emotion: the title of a movie “nakha kshadangal” (nail-scratch-marks)

....

And decorative footprints of emotion!

It happened thus....

The erratic power failure forced me to choose the 'dark hours' to upgrade the operating system of my PC. And the assurance was too many power-cuts preceding the 'spiritual-luxury-hours' (11 pm...). When the power got restored, I gave a rude shock to my spouse, when I jumped out of the bed, and announced to her quizzical look(meaning 'now what?')... saying “looks like, the power will be on till another 5 hours... good enough to take a risk, and try an uninterrupted upgradation” (privately, I had a hidden-agenda.... it was quite some time, since I had a whole night to enjoy that 'awareness'.... the monitor requires very little attention... just like some baby-sitting, with a baby that cant even crawl!).... I had been doing the manual fanning for both of us(with that humble palm leaf), since the ceiling fan remained 'sealed' during the power cut... Every spell of powercut renewed the quarrel afresh..... it was about(my) disinclination towards resorting to dependence on 'gadgets' in lieu of power , during its failure..... and somehow, I have barely managed to postpone the 'going-in' for those 'cooling-gadgets'... I found that any electrical gadget that is used to cool, ends up in heating the ecology with twice the negative-heat-energy..... (Dharmo rakshati rakshitaha... or something to that effect... is the sole straw I can hope to hold on to, when people around drown me with arguments, case-laws-of-instances around, to the contrary!)...

..

At about 4 am, the new system looked entirely 'new'! I was wondering... why this 'impressive', 'ornamental-and-decorative' presentation! The previous three upgrades were humble... the menus, in the same place, and we can just click without reading the icon... Now, the pull at the scroll bar brings the list of icons to the lowest position, and even gives an 'emotional-touch' with that gentle bump, like the kids enjoy jumping onto an over-stuffed sofa-set-seat! A lot of attention was paid towards the 'presentation of the dishes on the dining table'!....

If I had not been familiar with 'an experience itself', I would have missed that 'emotional footprints ' that I could see on the monitor , of that penultimate-of-the-latest version of operating system!... Somewhere around 1991, I was pushed into 'becoming familiar with a personal-computer'... most of us (the participants) to that 10-weeks-course had presumed that the primitive ones we had just seen at our work place was 'company-owned-computers' and not 'personal-computers'! (that pre-concluding logic at work.... see!)... We were thrilled that we even were found fit to learn 'programming'!... It was just a few basic commands under the earliest of the DOS versions, using that large double density floppy! The teacher was anxious that our attention should not get 'fragmented' (in the name of getting 'divided'), and therefore insisted that we 'write' simple programs, to produce results of simple arithmatic functions... Initially, to some of us it sounded 'needlessly-cumbersome' to 'get data', add it, etc... using lengthy lines of commands, when all it needed was to pull out the pocket calculator, punch the figures, and a + sign in between....

I earned a nick-name(during that 10-week-course) ....' user-friendly-narayanan'... when the program that I churned out had those additional 'echo' on the screen to prompt the user to 'do' exactly 'this and then this...' to get the results... Others barely managed with a program, which required the users to 'do what ever it takes!'... to get a result... These people, the bulk of these 'others', were my bosses at work place (it was almost a 'punishment-plus-fine' to attend this evening course at a distant place away from office, and ........ yesss... an extra-distance towards home too.. but that was after we were fully depleted of energy at the end of the 'class').

..

I had already 'gone-through' that emotional 'layout' as to how it feels, when we manage to do a job effortlessly (with a thorough grasp of the basic concepts),..... in a contrast to most others, who 'somehow' manage to churn out a just-workable-result!.... The earlier versions had scope for many improvements... Yahoo was simply beyond reach (the best part is, there were hundreds of 'other-valid-excuses' to justify this non-availability)... but this later version simply 'looked' beyond the normal scope of perception! The sense of joy, the elation of having accomplished at churning out a good software, the sense of satisfaction of having arrived at a really good model of upgradation 'must-have-been' the source of inspiration for this extra-efforts at decorating the dish on the dining table! (The best part is, the best brains have contributed to creating this software and made it available 'free' for the global-computing-community... cutting across all border-lines.... not just our 'political-party-lines!!!)

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A rare example of how the body-language migrates into an animated-gesture on an otherwise inanimate screen! (It did remind me of the 'designing' of the 'program' called 'rangoli' .... the decorating of the centre-place of the front-yard... It takes a deep perception to look at the powdered rice as 'beyond-a-charity' towards those ants that feed on it(do ants really need our charity?).... then we may notice that ants have a deeper grasp of gravity-concept.. they carry a weight many times of their own... Still deeper perception affords a look at the very same ants as 'dependable-local-weatherman'!.... That 'charity' feeling robs us of our ability to realise that there are a few beggers who look at this rangoli design, and then decide to beg for food by choice, out of compassion... for example, that 'I am atma brahma' who asked a few questions out of sheer compassion, by choice, in that 'dharma-related-blog'( http://www.speakingtree.in/public/spiritual-blogs/seekers/self-improvement/dharma-as-i-understand-and-would-like-to-practice ).... these 'few' beggars were indeed 'choosers' (a contrast to 'beggars can't be choosers')... they did not beg out of need (they could invoke that unique secretion from pituitary glands, which would obviate the need for food).... they read the 'profile' of the 'lady' of that house, updated vide the rangoli of that morning, and decide to accept food by begging!)

psn(6^th June, 2012)

Mental health workout!

I had a 'feel' of what that restoration of 'status quo' looks like, after a person is 'released' from a spell or a curse!

The operating system, managed to bring back the functionalities of Yahoo and its products back on the screen, and I found myself forgetting the residual tiredness of a whole night's efforts at the upgradation of the 'system', enjoying the questions at Yahoo answers... the way I loved to for some 6 years !

And, it was 'reassuring' to realise that the physical tiredness did not dull the mind's alertness at all! And as if to 'top-it-up' the proof of it was concerning the very same thing.... that question.... it was about.... mind's health, and a 'work-out' !!!

All the forgoing happened in the 'back-ground' , in fact... since I was busy typing out the answer...

Only after I hit that 'submit' button, I re-lived the experience of the previous few moments a bit more thoroughly!

The question itself is a deep one....

I would feel amply rewarded if we just take a look at the question, and then within ourselves....

(Let the fate of my answer hang itself..... at least till it happens to find an appeal in the asker)

psn(6^th June, 2012)

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120605042801AAjSaSE

question:

Why there is no workouts for mental health like how there is a workout for physical fitness?

My answer:

Now a days, it(that availability of it) is decided a bit 'commercially' ..... demand and supply... give and take basis....
In previous years, it was given to kids out of compassion, love, care, and above all .... 'as a essential ingredient of that 'Emotional-training'... now emotions are outsourced to an 'idiot-box'.... that is why communication is more effective through mobiles!
..
In those 'previous' years, there were kid stories, bed-time stories, puzzles, quizzes, riddles, .... it used to keep the minds of the children alert, and the intelligence of the kids 'aware'... 
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Wonderful question!
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(please see, this same question, can be made more hurtful, 'fault-finding-like', if we ask thus: Is there any school, institution or anything by any name that teaches a child to 'stabilize-into-emotions'?"...... mental health when affected too much, we need a psychiatrist, or a mental-home itself!)

Taking a Position

I could not appreciate it better any other time, than when I was looking at those fighters!

Judo/karate/kung-fu as a sport, a game, a contest or a real fight-unto-finish...

Table tennis players, intense about winning.... ( not those 'casual' players, or those who are more keen about shedding weight)..

They seem to avoid 'taking a position'(they keep jumping around the place).... mainly to avoid giving extra advantage to the opponent the best 'placing' of the 'attack'... The time is the essential element to relocate ourselves to be able to 'effectively' counter the attack! (more so...if.....other things being well matched!).

On political debates, especially under the media-glare, shrewd politicians take only 'floating-positions' (the skill lies in explaining their position either way later on... to suit the mood of voters!).

Here on spiritual arena, we too are trying to 'take-up-a-position' ..... often driven by our 'judgemental instincts', where as the learned are insisting that we first try to know 'who we are'!!!

What a predicament indeed! At an age where every other social parameter honours us a 'mature' persons, we are asked to re-look into ourselves and find out the 'being' that we are when our tags have already 'positioned' us as 'being'..... Mr./Dr./... so and so /IAS/boss/grandfather/in-charge/etc!

As if this is not enough, spiritual debates land us into a vastness where our 'position' anywhere, seems dwarfed by the very nature of the enormity, of 'field of study'! Not to speak of our 'size' that matters when it comes to 'spiritual-positioning' of ourselves.... They say we are infinite in our basic nature.... we are too subtle in our inner nature.... we 'are' where we experience life at a given point, and not necessarily where our body is parked presently (this we were told even as kids at a school-class-room.... but perhaps, not effectively enough, because then, the teacher who used to often tell us “Hey ... where are you.... BE HERE!!!” ... would have attained much sooner 'being-at-it' so often!...)

Comments, views, opinions seem to rivet us to certain positions, from where, freeing up ourselves seems too difficult! A simple “yes” to a simple-looking-query “do you like this bride/groom” is going to fix our position inextricably (whether for good or bad.... we know too well!)..... On a lighter note, if readers are not going to make an 'issue' out of it, may I remind ourselves that .... Spouses avoid taking up 'position' as a matter of tact, at least when it comes to an 'issue'... and of late, young couples even look at delaying 'issues' a little... for a few years...just because they would not like to be disturbed by these 'issues' for some time.... not that they are really keen about remaing 'issueless' for too long.... Oh! 'Issues' are the reason, somehow that deter the proper-positioning!

A lady was seen hesitating to fill up the column 'age' in some format.... an onlooker said, 'Madam, the more you delay, the worse it gets!'

Kids are very keen to know the 'positioning' of their parents, before they can decide how the day is going to be ahead for them.... even their queries are with a simultaneous intent to 'know' our position regarding an 'issue' .... be it about taking them to an outing, be it about buying some toy, or be it about 'dealing' with a social issue... At kid age, they are only looking at 'position' that we take, so that they can simply replicate it when faced with similar situation (that is why when they are at a play “Home” where they become 'parents' to toy-kids, they echo the tone/words/sentiments almost imitating elders...).... This becomes a trait too, in some kids, later on! The mind acquires this trait, and by-passes the need to sharpen its own analytical skills, in some cases!

There was a story I heard about Gautama Buddha.... there was an expert who lived by his skill at winning arguments.... He had been easily able to disprove the 'existence of God' throughout his professional-career.... Coming close to retirement age, this fellow was a bit 'anxious'.... 'what if there is really a God?' Serious problem.... any other wrong might be forgiven.... but concerted effort to negate this Highest power?.... so, just to check up, he decided to approach 'one who knows'.... He asked Gautama “Is there really a God?”... “yes” was the reply.... There was jubiliation in the disciple-gang... 'Ah!' they felt.... 'ultimately, our master did take up a 'position' about God!”... But, it so happened that towards the evening of the same day another Pundit, desired to 'really' clarify if he had indeed been wasting all his life 'chanting' the holy name, “talking to just nothingness?”.... he too asked Gautama, “Holy Sir, .... 'really'... is there a God at all?”... the reply was “NO!”.... Now the disciples around were once more confused at this 'relocation' of their master's positioning!

..

(Such is the precarious position of a disciple when we are with a 'true' master.... he ensures that we are never 'positioned' in our 'comfort-zone'.... what ever it takes!)

...

psn(4^th June, 2012)

Blog

“Blog ko blog hi rehney do, ...... koi naam na do...”

There was a song in Hindi, 'pyaar ko pyaar hi rehney do koi naam na do...' (let love remain as 'love' let us not rename it ....'

I had a little problem with naming this blog, and hence this attempt at calling it just a blog!

Recently, I underwent a complex thought process, and as an outcome, I decided to 'keep off' from a spiritual site, at least for some time, and then to quit, if needed!

I was reminded of a dialogue : “"Atheism is a non-prophet institution" (a homophonic pun)... Now, why I was reminded is, while this spiritual forum, by itself, in itself was supposed to be voluntary.... it so turned out that people started treating it like some international waters, where fishing is free(and the bonus-sadism of watching with glee, when their hypocratic comments tormented the innocent people, like enjoying the sight of those poor fishes to struggle that 'fish-out-of-water' situation)! And I was interested in saving those fishes, treating them as 'precious' though many not be rare or endangered(the danger was to the very fishes, not the greedy-fishermen)! I found myself too weak, for lack of support... Sometimes, our presence is too oppressive, and absence might work better.... for sometime at least ... ( I must confide here a true incident, where me and my siblings happened to shockingly surprise our parents, when they left us to ourselves, to attend a condolence at a distant place, very apprehensive about the mess we might cause by the time they return.... but to their surprise, and equally ours, we were found to be temporarily transformed into very mature responsible 'beings' and conducted ourselves even better than a few adults!). Many years later, this phenomenon happened by itself, at some of the locations of my work place.... (When our boss left us to ourselves for a while, due to compulsions of situation) What I felt was ..... maybe some 'contageousness' that permeated ....

I felt, it is better to rub shoulders with clandestine atheists, on a one-to-one basis, in person, if possible... a challenge, and rewarding one... these 'fishing companies' do not find it commercially viable there! I too, had placed the blogspot link of mine(the only significant for me, one by its size at least... 'the' selfseekers dot blogspot dot com) , in my profile there (permitted, and encouraged too).... but I knew that I am not enticing them into a hidden-profit-institution.... instead, we know, it is a barren place like a desert(my blog page), with very few commentors (and even those might be regretting having voiced out their opinion.... :) .... no point screaming in a vast desert!)

So that is how the pun 'intended' should work (ideally.... not at the cost of others, if possible).. Where as, there was somebody, who spoke of a 'war' (using an ancient epical name for it as a pun) .... and when I apologised, responding to that 'war' comment, 'liked' it (the 'liking' comes as a notification to the 'beneficiary-only' there), and also insisted, in a private message, that it was humor and 'pun-intended' (very unfortunately, that 'sorry-you-misunderstood' did not work as that 'somebody' might have intended.... a noble person had taught me long ago that 'sorry' is not an apology always.... it is 'usually supposed to mean' as 'you poor thing... I pity your misery'! Nothing(none else too) can clarify and confirm better, my way of viewing it ! I have the least interest in getting personal, or in trying to bring it(that somebody) out in the open(definitely, I am quite clear that this has nothing to do with my own purpose of participating on that forum!). My sole idea of making a mention about it here, in the mildest possible way,  is to remind ourselves, as to how our mind works, and we lead ourselves into delusion of 'holier than thou' attitude, quite unawares (All this, only if my own assessment happens to be correct!..... Please see, Avoidance of 'Being injury-prone' has never been in our hands... but we can choose consciously, not to 'feel hurt'..... Do we not say, “I had an injury”... and also “ I am hurt... or .... I was hurt...!” but somehow, we are unable to feel comfortable even if we try to put it as ... “I had a hurt” )

Well this blog is perhaps, an aftermath of that beautiful full moon on 5^th May, 2012... they say, such 'super-moon'... such combination of a full moon with other planets lined up so well, comes after some 12 years!

For those who are curious, the blog-post-link of that spiritual forum, where the moon-effect poured out as a comment is : http://www.speakingtree.in/public/spiritual-blogs/seekers/self-improvement/httpwwwspeakingtreeinpublicarewehypocrites

with Super-Moonlit-regards,

Yours,

psn(6^th May, 2012)

Assertion

One of the sources of quarrel.... if we look keenly enough!

'Your freedom ends where my nose begins'... this quote presents no problem in understanding, appreciating, and even enjoying...

But the inclination to assert, seems to start encroaching into the freedom of the other, even when it is just sprouting with us! The very 'look' .... evokes 'look at the way he looks at us!' (quite forgetful of we too , at the same time, are looking almost in a similar way!

Two children were quarreling rather 'peacefully' , just shouting at each other, calling 'names'....

'You are a monkey'....... 'y-o-u are a donkey!' 'youuu are (this)'..... Yyyyyoooouuu are (that)'...

Thus, they had almost reached the end of their 'general knowledge' about animal kingdom....!

Their dad, who was busy, in 'trying' to get ready for going to office, found this wordy exchange a bit intolerable... He suddenly intervened, to shout: “Both of you are so intensely calling each other names! You both seem to be ignoring me totally, while doing so”.... (little did he realise, that the children would look at his assertion only this way: 'If you two can be animals, what about me your parent? A larger sample of the same animal 'series'!'

..

The eagerness to share a deep experience is natural.... Perhaps that is how the need for a language was felt when gestures (gesticulation) was felt inadequate.... The skill of articulation slowly took over... only to hand it over to absentee-form of communication, when a larger reach was felt needed.

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The next part of that 'eagerness' which gives rise to a curiosity.... 'whether the other person understood it properly' also seems a bit natural.... The problem, is with, what that 'properly' is... When two kids of about 3 to 4 years of age exchange, to share their experience, the communication seems flawless, both nod their heads (which ever way it suits them at that moment), and the other one does not protest... The assertion is not too keen to seek any official seal of approval beyond some movement of head.. a very casual acknowledgement.. An elder who is watching this is baffled, because this elder has understood neither of these two kids! Please see, it is difficult to make out the 'nod of head' by these kids many a times.... a vertical nod is 'yes' we tell them... a horizontal nod is 'no'... but they invariably rotate that head in a circular direction, like that stone-pestle we use to wet-grind the cereals for idli-dosa etc....!!!

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The greatest shock, (and later on that shock became an awe, admiration, reverence) , was when I heard for the first time that the great philosopher Shri J.Krishnamurti, used to ask, 'Did you understand .... Sir...' ... a gentle pause, waiting to look at that positive nod , tilting of heads side-ways (as 'evolved' adults to notify a 'yes'!).... And then when people say 'yes' quite articulately, our JK says, 'Now, I have to go all over it again!' (I found it quite difficult to grasp at that kid-age as to why a 'yes' means 'no'!... Any way, I felt no urgency to say yes, at that age, when I started keenly looking at everything this Great Being had to say!). Yes... spiritual people are helplessly 'mystic' at the bare-minimum level at least (our JK never strove to forcibly or forcefully, convince any one about anything ... ever... he never 'claimed' any capabilities like those siddi's etc... He was utterly humble and gentle in trying to appeal to others to 'look-together'... not an easy task, and I know it reasonably well from experience as well!).....

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If JK can keep assertion at such mild doses, there is no reason why we cannot try as well.....

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A strong inclination to assert too much evokes that repulsiveness(in the other) even before that other person happens to know about it.... almost like that 'spontaneous' and abrupt vomiting, giving no time to reach a wash-basin or such 'decent' place to dispose off the 'indecent' stuff!.... that repulsiveness, manifests as a mild 'growl'... a critical response.... we growl back, and now it is a quarrel... the rest is well known! (Let me squeeze in a mild joke here, if nothing else, at least to avoid any unintended vomit-sensation right now..... I read this joke in Readers Digest some time ago.. it was in first person by the mother herself... This mother sternly asked her son to 'Sit down..... NOW... THIS INSTANT...'... that helpless kid obliged, but not without a counter-assertion “But, inside, I am still standing”... the mother burst out laughing, at her own failure!)

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Well, I am not too keen to even assert about this 'assertion'... you know by now, why :)

regards,

psn(2^nd May, 2012)

Duty versus Love

I found a very good blog “Love is not a duty”!

(http://www.speakingtree.in/public/spiritual-blogs/seekers/wellness/love-is-not-a-duty )

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It did 'provoke' a thought process in me!

It reminded me of a dialogue from a TV serial, where the author surmised the entire relationship between spouses, very briefly, and yet very beautifully, precisely, and yes.... completely!

It takes a lot, to really expand that idea ( of that author of the TV serial), and to grasp it in its entirety!!!

All he said was, “during the yester-years, the spouses looked at marriage as a 'duty' to the other spouse. Today, they look at it as a 'right' against the other spouse”.... He simply added: 'please look at the bulk of divorce cases... the whole quarrel is about some 'right'!... And all of those successful marriages have a common binding-factor, of offering oneself unconditionally towards the spouse in a duty-bound attitude..... it is up to the individuals to choose , as to how they wish to have the relationship of a 'marriage'....'

The problem with 'love' is, after we often look at the manifest form of it, to understand it, and then just stay there, stuck to the manifest form! It is okay to make a humble beginning with 'giving' out unconditionally, to get that feel of it... but some time, we have to 'allow' ourselves to becoming a loving-being, with that love as a quality of our very being (the manifest form depending only on the outside situation..... for instance, if we are alone on a tiny island right from birth, still we can be a loving-being :) ...)... that 'duty-business' is the consequence, not the purpose of love itself! All other duties are obligatory, for some kind of social orderliness. (The so-called bullock-cart-days-people, in their great wisdom had very consciously chosen to exempt the wandering mendicants, monks, sanyasis, etc from all kinds of duty-bound-obligations... they had enough trust in themselves, their own wisdom, to know that these people are already a 'loving-being' in every sense, and need no rules to be governed upon!)

psn(28^th April, 2012)

When a quarrel is inevitable, let us(try to) have some style!

I have been participating on a spiritual forum since the beginning of this year...
The good part of that forum is that responses are many....
The inevitable part is that some heated exchanges too take place, replacing the very concept of 'response/comment' envisaged on spiritual-lines!
I have no qualms about it....  as is evident from what I wrote there about it...
Exactly....    I am reproducing what I wrote there, because most of our readers here would appreciate the 'quoted' part, since it was not mine!
regards,
psn(28th April, 2012)

That blog (with its quote within):

We see unbridled exchanges even in the 'parliament' (the prohibitive cost of it is on us, the tax payers)...

But it is simply beyond their potential to have any 'style' about it.... They are experts in strategy, and at times good at diplomacy, and at a few rare occasions, statesmanship....

Here, on such spiritual forums, even quarrels has to be on 'voluntary-basis'! So, my humble request is, why not make some efforts to make it look a bit 'stylish' .... so that, even casual readers would at least enjoy reading it, and not feel that residual bitter taste! (I am very carefully avoiding the word 'be-graceful'... there cannot be any 'grace' about a quarrel, I feel! So, 'style' is the nearest compromise!)....

What exactly I have in mind is something that looks like this........ (please do try to find a way to excuse me for what I am about put up as sort of 'bench mark' !)--

quote:

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it." -- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to .Winston Churchill, followed by Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." --- Oscar Wilde

Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"

The art of lamenting

Somehow, it has taken the shape of an art...

Hitherto, it was just a profession (Rudaali), not a specialisation, or not even a skill....

It was there growing slowly, silently like some virus pervading across the society, but I never really had a chance to take a serious note of it, till it became a 'whole-sale-chorus' during the exodus of employees when they were offered a golden handshake in the Banking industry, to reduce the flab! Suddenly the left-over ones had to insulate themselves from over-exploitation (no help is going to come overnight to share the work, nor is the work going to vanish overnight... and there was that torturous unfamiliarity with the computer-key-board..... there was a brief period when just the keyboards required replacement at an abnormal rate!)... slowly people 'came to terms' with the harsh reality, but the lamenting had come to stay, and it got itself perfected into an art-form too!

Otherwise, we find it quite commonly where ever there is a trust-deficit in one form or other... The 'most commented' .... yeah! Like 'speaking tree', there is a lameting-tree too, where the 'most commented' prize is shared between a mother-in-law versus daughter-in-law! At other places, it is usually a preemptive strike, to start the 'aalaap' of lamenting first, to avoid any responsibility or fault fixing.... Most people confuse between fixing of fault, responsibility and accountability, even though no recourse is sought!

Quite surprisingly, children pick it up almost with no formal training.... I recall a kid, who used to always lament about lack of 'good' clothes to wear... The dad was a very resourceful and intelligent person though he doted on that kid out of his own 'special attachment' for the kid... But, when this complaint of lack of good clothes became a little too much, he decided to expose the kid... He suddenly announced to the kid “Oh! Actually I had planned to take you along on a holiday for few days, along with my office colleagues and their families... but since you do not have adquate change of 'good-clothes', you may as well stay back, and we will see the next time”.... Abruptly this kid turned the record-plate on the gramaphone player upside down, and played a totally different tune... 'Dad, I think I can manage just enough clothes for this trip... let me see, ...” and then rushed to dig out all those 'safely-tucked-away' shining and new clothes out, counted them, packed them convincingly too!

Now comes the 'hard-to-digest' part of it... Please see, those who lament, are they capable of experiencing love? Can lamenting and love go together please?.... For that matter, even that gratitude does not come to the equal measure of a love, when it comes to real-deep-experience! If we look closely enough, they are quite opposite.... Love only gives... gratitude is after-effect of receiving, not giving.... Love gives unconditionally.... (that 'gives' is manifested only if the situation warrants... A soldier does not give up his life during peace time... please!)... If this seems acceptable, then, how can a child, a girl-child especially, love her mother? I happened to ask this to a young girl recently.... 'do you love your mother?'... 'YES!' was the emphatic reply.... I had to gently and slowly ask the next set of questions.. 'since when did you love your mom?'... 'surely not at the age of 3 months?'..... 'NO', agreed that girl... .... 'when was the first time you experience love for your mom? ' ...'maybe when I felt that gratitude clearly...' she tried, as an alternative.... That is where I had to seek clarity between 'gratitude' as a response to receiving, and 'giving' as a manifest form of 'love as an experience' ....

..

Now, this 'experience' of love is often so deep, and a non-verbal form of thought process, that most people miss this feeling-of-the-experience .... something like, when we have that malarial fever, we feel the fan air more severely despite the mid-day-of-peak-summer, than when we are normal! I don't know, but that 'giving' might have been an important aspect.... otherwise, the students of ancient gurukula might not have been asked to serve their guru, doing simple tasks for him... otherwise, some of the present day yoga-teachers might not have insisted for 'volunteering' as a 'part' of spiritual practices, for quick progress... A typical young girl steps into mother-in-laws pitch, from the home-pitch, without any practice of 'giving', and expects to be shown some gratitude at least, if not love, by that mother-in-law.... this mother-in-law has nothing to give to her daughter-in-law, except a few words ... words-used-for-love.... and the daughter-in-law is not that ready to 'give' any service, help, etc unconditionally! (I wonder, if that joint-family-system, took care of that home-pitch-training of giving, when the girl became a 'didi' to several younger brothers/sisters/cousins of all ages... the mothers of those children, under the same roof, may not be able to take care of all of them ... and this elder-sister, 'didi' is almost a mother! )....

..

Trust and love are said to be two sides of the same coin.... that unconditional love offers trust too, with 'no-questions-asked'... so it might stand the litmus test... Mothers do have the capability to experience love, if they are ready to choose to be 'aware' (dropping that lamenting-act, of course)... right from the time the kid dwells in her womb... more the awareness, deeper the experience of love... deeper the love, lesser the sorrow of parting later on, when the daughter becomes an 'in-law' or when the son expands into greater dimension of a very deep reciprocation of love with gratitude, and lays down his life for his mother-land!

psn(16^th April, 2012)