Voluntary Audit

“Would you prefer to be told of your errors, mistakes, shortcomings etc... by somebody who has no authority to do so, and would therefore be a lot-more mild, kind, gentle, friendly etc...
or
would you prefer it from the boss, who can inflict consequential penal action too, carry that memory(venom), in his memory for a long time?” I asked...


It was a 'chance' I took... to see...
if I can translate my desire ...
to make a difference in the life of the fellow next to me! (a fresher is a better victim! :))

At work place... the 'book' says... seniors ought to help the fellow seated next to him to get acclimatized with the work-environment .... though the other might be quite good at work... the psyche of the clientele differs a lot from place to place.... For instance, at a village place, the 'attention' matters a little more! Tell them, 'Yep, we have seen/sighted you... and even trust you to allow us a little time to get the work done well' ... once they feel 'assured' of that attention, a little delay means nothing-at all to them... On the other hand, a busy client in a Metro city is only-concerned with quick-delivery of his requirement, ... forget those 'courtesies'...

Regular and official 'audits' do not contemplate such suggestions... they go by mere-checklists...

To gain that trust and confidence of my fellow-worker... I had to present a 'school-type' of check list... advantages and disadvantages along side :) .. Just to persuade him to allow me the 'auditor's' role into his work...
A 'voluntary' audit... I told him... is....

1. more genuine
2. the presentation of errors, weaknesses, strength-areas to be further strengthened, etc are better-presented
3. the effort to make it 'more appealing' is there (official auditor hardly bothers what the victim would 'think' about such harsh observations)
4. it is more acceptable... since it is voluntary... not a mandated checklist which may be outdated/irrelevant/impracticable/etc
5. it is coupled with a 'solution' often... auditors leave the 'battle-it-out' to higher up's with just saying 'what is not okay'...
6. it is 'more-timely'... the rectification is earlier, when damages leave a deeper scar, with official audits
7. introspection is there with the person who undertakes voluntary audit... he is inside the game, not a mere referee who doesn't need to win-or-lose :))
8. fosters that 'inclusiveness'... it is not a case of point-out-defect and just run-away!
9. Builds honesty and mutual trust ... something that a 'casual' visitor (official auditor) hardly even-looks-at
10. on going corrective measures ... just happen along side :)

Usually, they do take the 'bait'... and then a 'bond' gets established...

The 'probation' period of a fresher sails reasonably smooth...

Hey!

I thought... then it 'ought' to have been there in the ancient times!
Oh!... since the very 'priority' of a lifestyle was towards spiritual-evolvement... this 'audit' factor too was heavily shrouded, camouflaged... perhaps ... And that led me to focus a little more into it... That explained the 'flexibility' that was in built in those 'sutras' the thread... which accommodated flowers of a broad-spectrum!

Audibly yours,

psn(28th January, 2016)

Media power Versus Power via a-Media

"Media" has proved its clout, when technology powered its warhead, and they took-on the politicians....

Now it looks like ....

Media is drunk with power... ... it contemplates on showing “Gods” their place!

They take sides.... with women who insist on disrobing themselves off, of the gift that creation gave them in abundance, and taking up something of an inferior quality(given to male forms by the very same nature), in the name of 'equality' of gender... Well it is a matter of one's choice (and of-course, backed so-heavily by fundamental rights -->freedom-->constitution... etc).. ....

The drama looks too good! Wholesome entertainment....
Women at their peak intensity, asserting logic, and media 'crusading' their cause (temple entry)... while , I guess the media is 'effectively' testing its might against the very “Gods”...

Now, Gods wouldn't really oblige, by manifestly conceding a 'defeat' to the king-maker-power of Media...

Something held with great reverence... looked like a 'sanctity'....

The ancients (especially the evolved ones), were basically too-scientific... they transcended even sensory perceptions.... they started with “Zero” (the smallest possible nano-scale)... and then explored the permutations and combinations possible with its manifest macro-scale... Obviously, they found a 'pre-fabricated' structure to be far-more sophisticated to 'toy-with'... (siddhis)...

We just can do anything at all....only with what is right in front of us (even with babies, the toy has to be moved a little closer to the baby, if it has to be tempted to crawl towards it's reach )...

A wire is “no-probs”... as long as it is not “live”... bare hands, dirty-hands, wet-hands... its all the same... Enliven it with that 11K volts... and now with a dripping-wet body... some 4 inches close, not even 'touching it yet' (electrical engineers say 'too risky)...

Fortunately for us... most temples are not in its 'live-wire' status... the art of 'consecrating' it is itself got into a 'ritual' , followed blindly... no testing tools around...
Ah!... testing-tools! ...
Media has offered to be one! (or is it that .... they thought, they are good enough to take-on even the Gods!... having proved their might on Political Gods?... Dunno!)...

Medium-ly yours,

psn(26th January, 2016)

Judging Judgments

Oh!

I try to see if it is appropriate to say an “Oh!”...
It is a non-committal type of expression, which keeps the other guessing about what it meant to the fellow who let-out-that 'oh!'....

Why do 'Judgements' get so-much-delayed in a court of law?... Before I got a chance to look at the enactments which constrain a Judge to adhere-to, to continue-to earn his salary , I tried to guess 'off-track' things like.... “are the Judges too apprehensive about how their-Judgements would be judged?.. Appeals(in higher courts) are in abundance!”

Once I had a look at the set of enactments, it became clear to me that they have nothing to do with 'Judging-properly'... they merely 'administer' the law :)

And, whatever the uncertainties... the bulk of it owes to the law-experts who manage the gymnastics of 'interpretation of statutes'... at an arena/boxing-ring, where the skills of logic, coupled with little bit of diplomacy, exploiting lack of grasp(poor investigation), perception(deducing like Sherlock-Homes), etc are put to test :)

At work place, when a new 'boss' turns up... it is those people who depend-heavily upon errors of judgements of this new-boss, which is to their favor, ... who are too anxious to 'find-out'... as to how this boss is going to judge 'situations' (the list of 'why they depend so'... is not only exhaustive, but also would take our 'judgements' about this exercise a little away from our curiosity:)) .. ...}...

Getting some work done at quite a few places is so-easy! Judgements about judgements are not at all complicated... Crisp currencies dissolves all problems! No wonder, 'corruption' is so-uniquely adored!... more the admonishments attributed to this enigma, more it nourishes and nurtures its spread!

Now it 'took-me' towards yet another arena.... the home front... where I was too-badly-intrigued, when I noticed the women folk, very urgently engaged into the task of how their male-folk are going to 'judge' at domestic situations!

It helped them to smoothen out their vulnerabilities to being adjudged to their dis-favour :)

If the diner likes his dishes a little salty, add that extra salt to all the nonsense that is churned out as 'dishes'... if he likes it sweet, make those pickles-too to taste a little sweet,...

If he dislikes a 'range-of-vegetables/dishes/tastes, it is a wind-fall of blessing(!)

It at once makes the 'range of weapons' to get formidably-armed, in the event of an incursion into kitchen's comfort-zones (to hell with what happens to the health-aspect... after-all, what else is a 'family-doctor' meant for ?)...

There is that 'pre-emptive' strike-capability too... like, “my kids don't eat these dishes, so it leaves me with very little choice about being innovative at cooking :)”... and then, it muffles voices of dissidence from external-support within the family!

I do not dare-to-elaborate the predicament of 'facing' a freak in the family, who can 'tolerate' any vegetable/dish/taste, and yet is capable of discernment-at-will and by-choice, when invoked!

What happens with a mind that happens to engage itself so-incessantly thus?... Does it ever get a chance to even look at 'own-judgement-patterns'?... (the 'logic' pattern of a CPU-processor is blessed indeed, when it is not even 'expected' to take a look at its own 'basic-concepts' of judging the user's choice-patterns!.. Even techies engage their minds to 'guess' the ever-changing judgement patterns of end users!... Impatience due to delayed-judgements of processors/pipelines, is of a great concern, often!)..

Taking the focus to another field where 'judgements' seldom work....

Oh!
When it comes to striving towards planting a desire('inception-movie'?), an appeal, an inquisitiveness, a thirst, .. a-something... that is likely to turn the attention of a person who 'specialises' in judging-judgements ... the task is at once a question mark ??... where at all, to even start?

Even the 'volunteering' (for a back-up support for spiritual programs) to take firm-roots into/inside the genuinely-eager participants , became an arduous task... Failures heaped torrentially!.. But not entirely without a few side-benefits! I knew exactly, where I could go wrong with my-judgements :)

Non-judgementally yours,

psn(16th of January, 2016)

Worry

I am not so-fortunate as the students of psychiatry/psychology/or-whatever...

They have the 'licence' to look at it (Worry)... whenever they feel inclined to... It is a part of their 'official-syllabus'!... Or, just open a text book, and read-off, read-away.... whatever a 'previous-expert' has written about it...!

I cannot even look at a “worry” unless I am a little-away from it...

Because, while I am with-it... I am also in-it... it , the worry, has soaked me fully... (unfortunately, mirrors don't 'tell'... how worried I look... it can only say, whether I 'look' beautiful or ugly :))...

:)

It was thus, that I proceeded to approach 'worry'.... when I 'thought' thus: “I am not so-much worried right now...”... I felt it to be an 'opportune-moment' to try and understand : “what this worry is all about?” :)

The very word 'intellect'.. seems to suggest, that it cannot be 'stupid' :)

The body, by its very design... (nature has done it for us)... doesn't do any stupidity by-itself... (for example, it tries to simply-throw-out... what is not 'needed'... dust I inhale (my own-stupidity), and the nose instantly-sneezes... it doesn't 'wait'... to ask... “Sir, May I...?” (throw it out?)... it takes me by 'complete-surprise'... and I am so-thoroughly-embarrassed... when I sneeze before an 'elite-crowd'... I mumble “sor-ry”... some elder retorts, “bless you” (Oh!... I am blessed... the body is sensible as-yet!)

Mind.... Yesss!!! Only “a” mind can play with worries (that's what I 'experienced' :) .... it just picks about-any-time... not bothered about my priorities... it picks an 'issue'... it plays the game of a 'worry'... it engages my-attention too-badly!....
Doesn't matter if it is my sleep time too!...
At best... it gives a 'concession'... like, “Okay... it is your sleep time now.. so, for-a-change.. let's worry about-THAT... the new topic is, 'it is sleep-time... what shall I do?... I haven't finished worrying about that 'X-topic'?”...

.....

Is it my own-imagination?....
I look at 'brilliant' minds...

At school, I had a lesson , a story... about a great-mind... Shri Archimedes... he too worried... “how to find out if that crown is entirely of 'pure-gold'?...”...
No help came... Melting down that crown spoils the workmanship (art, skill... that made the crown)..
He had to get along with 'routine' at some point of time... (sleep-time, was also a 'routine')..
Early morning... bath was a decent thing to do (it must be so... for him too!)...
He is yet to 'invoke' yesterday's pending-worry...
Maybe during that 'little-silent-period' of his mind... the intellect was given a little permission to 'observe'... something that was already happening in that bath-tub , all these years!!! :)
His physical body(structure)... uneven outline... displaces water in a manner which can be 'systematically' measured, pouring it into a 'symmetrical-sized' container... it has to match his body's volume! (the rest , we know.... Eureka business... Oh yes!... we even made it into a phrase! The scene of a bath tub, is attractive enough to tempt us to remember it quite-often... Other-eureka's are too-dull-looking!)..

My next 'worry'... “Hey! Why am I not bothered to think... like...'is the sun going to rise again tomorrow?..'... Oh sure! It has always been doing... for centuries at least... Then, am I going to live to 'see-it'?... That too, seems so-probable!... The milk-man is a 'reasonable' thing to worry! Let me worry with/about ...something, which is 'my' domain :) ... Doesn't matter, even-if... my-own-worrying is not going to improve or retard the 'actual-happening' of that event... Worrying is almost like my 'fundamental-right'!... It gives me a kind-of-reassurance, that I am 'responsible' :)

Oops!... Too late before I realised.... almost anything that I take up to do.. or is thrust upon-me, (incumbent on me to-do)... firstly... it takes the shape of a 'worry'... only then I am even-allowed to take a 'look-at'... what I can do...whether I can do... whether the situation will allow me to do it (I safely call it 'a situation'... actually, it is the people around who usually create 'that-situation' for me... a compressed-set-of-problems, the west says, “hey! We have a situation now!” :)

When an observation enters me via 'intellect'... (later the mind can do what it likes with it)... that 'worry' is also-something... that I can-even-try to understand :)

Meditative-states?... worrisome-meditation?... dunno !

worrysomely yours,
psn(9th January, 2016) 

It happens only in India :)

It is one thing to 'deserve' compassion,

and it is entirely a different thing to 'extend' compassion to somebody who is yet to deserve it... (I wonder, how people would 'feel' about it when they are a recipient of such compassion, when they are yet to 'deserve' it... I found it uncontainable, when the sense of gratitude swelled within me! The 'thing' that came out of such compassion was of such great magnitude!)...

The 'pranic-force' (call it by any name... life-energy... the 'very-life-component'... soul... atma.. whatever..)... this pranic-force is so subtle, so silent-within... so inconspicuous... that it simply evades our 'feel', our experience, our perception... The mind can't comprehend it (except creating some kind of 'imaginary-descriptions' from the hearsay that we get from all around... both credible, and non-credible sources... from people dependable, and people who merely hallucinate about it ).

I can only speak of my own experience... and I can 'attempt' to keep it in mind, that others who hear it from me do find their own time quite precious... irrespective of other parameters like their own factors (factors within their control, and beyond their control), which decide a grasp of what I share, with that high-fidelity grasp (in the sense, what is sought to be told, and told, is exactly what get conveyed and understood too!)

When my dad was hospitalised, I reached only a few days later... The doctor who walked that 'extra-mile' to encroach into the other doctor's domain at the hospital, did so, because this doctor was a kid-age-friend of my dad, and professionally quite competent too, also due to being a retired Army Captain, as a doctor of course...

This Captain Doctor told me on the day of my visit, “He ought to have died at least 3 days ago! I wonder what keeps him alive till now... So, that's it... expect it any time !”... And to my surprise, my dad survived yet another dozen days !!
(I simply stored this 'diagnosis'... the medical condition , that was defied by some 'unknown' force within, the life that kept ticking in my dad's body)....

Years later, it so happened that ... during a spiritual program, we were asked to chant a set of syllables (called a 'maha-mantra'... a spiritual-formula, supposed to invoke some 'spiritual' experience, ... coming down from generations of spiritual heritage of ancient India)...

We kept chanting it all the waking hours...
It felt so-stupid... with nothing really happening... except that we barely managed to keep chanting, and while doing so.... we were rather forced to 'tolerate' the irregular, nasty-sounding chant-patterns of our-own, as well of that of others around... Fatigue is an inadequate word to describe what we felt during the third day of this 'nonsense' (it seemed to make no sense at all, merely chanting a name, by which one of the 33 crore gods were uniquely named.. like some UID of Aadhaar numbers, which carried only one main purpose, that... no two numbers are alike).

Then it happened...
I felt something strange... (I felt constrained to call it 'strange'... only-because, ... I was not familiar with anything like that before/earlier... happening within me... More than that, I did-not/could-not even-conceive of any such possibility, an experience of that kind). It evades an 'accurate' description... The nearest that I can reach is ... it felt like some very-high voltage electric current flowing criss-cross, all through my body... ... some 'strange-circle' not the 'round-circle' that we call a circle... it simply circulated all over!

Oh!
I felt that 'oh!'

All along... I was 'carrying' this 'potential'/capability/possibility/whatever... of such an experience... right within?!! Forget what 'else' it can do... (the doing-with-it, of anything-else... is that 'calculative-mind' and its cunning games in me)... just to 'have' such an experience!.. it felt awesome/amazing/what-not!!!
Tears rolled down my eyes (dunno what these tears have got , anything-to-do with this experience!)...

Then , when I 'settled-down'.... I tried to 'make-some-sense' out of it... And that is the part .. which may or may-not-be true... just a guess-work... I do know that I am 'kept-alive' due to some unknown thing (call it life-energy).... this became a bit dynamic, thanks to the 'hidden' magic in that chant which whipped up the 'force' to activate it adequately-enough to ... in-turn... 'make' the other tangible/perceivable/feel-able/whatever... things/wiring/neurons, in me ... violent enough to bring it within a 'noticeable' level for me!...

years passed... I took care not to chant that set-of-syllables in that 'prescribed' way, unless told to... (a kind of reverence crept in... we don't play with switches that control nuclear-devices :)...). Then, on 'designated' days... when it was okay to chant it a few times, I started doing it, a bit mildly...

on one such day (rather, it was a 'night-time')... a person very close to me, asked me to stop-chanting it.. this person, I knew... had suffered the after-effects(side-effects), of prolonged and heavy-medication... which takes a toll on the nerves... It was so-easy-now... to 'grasp' what becomes of nerves... when it gets abused (for whatever holy-reason too).. over a period of time... It simply means... that when ancients called something 'asur'... they were perhaps referring to the non-synchronicity of a 'normal' functionality of the 'manifest form of life energy within' :-))

And then.... I really don't know... what else this particular thing did with me, this experience! Too clustered to single-out and relate each experience with each notch that marked the spiritual journey!

I leave it to the readers to decide, what to make out of what I shared as my experience (But yes, I have adequate-enough reasons, to tell-myself... that I was not entirely wrong, in attempting to 'eat-up' the quality-time of others!)...

Oh yes!... That caption “it happens only in India”... is rather a figurative expression only... to symbolise that 'rich , ample, and generous' life-style, or way-of-life, that we later started referring to as 'Hinduism'... and to feel proud of, when we have Masters, who managed to make it a 'structured' happening, when it does happen all over the globe, but only as a matter of chance!

thus, yours,
psn(5th January, 2016)

Eureka Moment

What an excellent piece of 'evidence'!

It is a functional phrase now! Nothing to do with that 'principle' which was discovered (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/eureka+moment )

A logical discovery it was... propounded as a theory in physics... One among many such discoveries.

The mind which discovered it, found an expression of a very deep emotion, in that exclamation, “Eureka”....
And when it is a deep emotion, the expression finds an instant appeal...!
(Politicians do make a 'full-use' of it... when they are gifted with the ability to make an emotional-speech... doesn't matter whether they fulfill their election-promises or not... it is good-enough to fool us for a while, till the votes are cast !).

Yes... I could notice that this discovery (now, whatever it was... let us not embarrass ourselves, 'risking' to ask the 'precise' details of what that discovery translates into, in physics!)... this discovery, found a greater popularity, merely because of the 'expression' of emotion in 'Eureka'!

And so, I was tempted to take a re-look at my own 'bundle-of-memories'...

Deeper the emotional experience, better the memory-retention!

The question is who becomes the source of inflicting that emotional-impact!!!

When we are vulnerable to certain “kinds” of insults... (a few of us do have bizarre items which cause deep-emotional-insults, much to the surprise of the others)... the 'storing' of it , into our instant-recall-memory-area ... is quite easy!

Kids find it too difficult to relate a few 'dry' lessons at school, emotionally with themselves... Unless some 'dramatized' effect is added to such lessons, committing it to memory is difficult.. They use a few tricks, if they are lucky to think of it... like ascribing some funny sound with a difficult spelling-word, etc...

“Good” piece of advice... evaporates too fast!... This, despite the emotional appeal that we found while that advice was imparted unto us... ! It fails 'only' when it was too-badly required to be remembered!.. Some other emotion ought to be conflicting with its 'sanctity' too badly, and thus nullifying/neutralizing its 'functionality' when actually-and-crucially needed!

Some emotions (yes, the related-memory-items associated with it), become a 'routine' part of us!.. We do not need any visuals even... a mere mention-of-it is good enough to bring a very strong experience of virtual-reality at any given point of time! (Some people feel a 'vomiting' sensation, by merely 'hearing' about a set of words... which makes a 'complete-sense' only-to-them, not to a grammar-teacher :) ! That is how these emotion-filled-memories re-act with us !)...

The sudden death of a parent, for want of good medical attention 'becomes' such a deep emotional memory item, that... the kid doesn't need any external source to motivate this kid, into becoming a 'doctor', no matter what kind of hurdles that kid faces on the way to becoming a medico!.. This piece of 'eureka' just keeps floating on the surface of the mind, during the entire waking period almost!

The spiritual quest, when it takes root into the person, to become an insatiable thirst... it is so-strange that ... other emotion-driven memories do not seem to have that 'grip' which we find in most people around! ( I found a rare kind of question on a forum, 'Yahoo answers', where an asker is actually challenging his own 'emotional' disposition, its inappropriate-looking-response, when the expression of a deep negative emotion, and the event related to it, turns in an opposite direction, when the recall of the event is conveyed to a listener!... Maybe, this person has not been fortunate enough to 'notice' or become aware of something much more precious that has taken-root within, namely, the 'distancing' of the being from what we call as 'my-mind', and 'my-body', etc !)...

details of that question (for somebody who is keen to take a closer look at this example :)...)
https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20160101012811AAAXvye

Is it normal that i make jokes when I tell others about my terrible past?

For example, a few days ago, I told my best friend about what my past was like. (Physical abuse, sexual abuse, etc.) She was quite alarmed when she noticed that I wasn't crying or frowning as I spoke. She said it was almost making her feel uncomfortable because I spoke of such horrible situations with a smile, at times. Don't get me wrong, I didn't enjoy any of the abuse. I was, however, talking as if we were having a normal conversation about, say, a silly joke. I haven't realized I did this until my friend told me about how I acted as if I thought it were a joke that I had been abused as a child. Then it hit me, as I began to recall the past few times I have told others. I acted the very same way for them as I did for her. Is there something wrong with me?

Unquote...

The best part is... “Is there something wrong with me?”.... !!!
The 'mind' finds it safer to adopt to a popular pattern!...
It pays a price that is too heavy!

Perception potential... !

Emotions are merely the manifest-forms of intuitive aspects of a mind... and it does help for that memory-storage functions... Intellect functions better when emotions are 'really' tamed!

The teacher 'knows' ... the 'arduous' aspect of his task... when he sets about to invoke a spiritual-awakening into a keen disciple, who comes armed with that 'emotional' inspiration, for a spiritual-experience!

Momentarily yours,

psn(2nd January, 2016)