Defense Presentation

I was doing it for the 'n'th time...
Only that... I had a nasty habit of being non-habitual about it :)

The lady got 'shoved' upon me... (the fellow who did it knew me closely-well... and was a trusting friend too... I wouldn't ever let him down)... He told the lady, 'maybe he would explain it to you'!

The lady asked “Who are you?” (well she started this at point-blank range, coming to, where I sat)...

The whole thing was...
This lady's younger brother's wife like to get enrolled for a spiritual program, for which a 'donation' was mandated (the only way, tax exemptions are applicable, for the enrolment fee)...

She was quite protective about her brother, and that included 'his money too'... and so the “proper & thorough investigation” before blowing money into a non-productive thing (no product comes home)!

So, that 'who are you' ... was going to be re-directed back as a guided missile...
I said, “Oh , I am yet another victim who got trapped into this program!”
I could see, that she recognised my line of attack , and said, “well money doesn't grow on trees!... I insisted that it would be I who will deliver the 'fee' during registration”...

(She carried all the ingredients to make my attempt to be 'as worse as a defense-presentation of a doctoral student'... :-)).......)

and then I proceeded with 'my-own-experience' of what it was all-about...
Since it was not a 'copy-paste' material, I was only too-glad to be 'questioned' (severely if possible)...

A one-sided lecture (with dumb listeners, however keenly they listen-or-read... the emotion is only about 'receptivity' of (only that which I say) ... which happens to get conveyed via words...
A question on the other hand is an 'investment' of the asker's ego+emotion,... (may be a negative ego, if the asker intents to 'tickle'.. or a receptive-positivity, if the question itself is genuine)... either ways, there is some two-way-movement of emotion... a bond is possible.

So her questions only led to her own 'victimisation' :)

I spoke and walked off...
It was only later on, that I came to know.. from that friend, (he was in-charge of 'booking' participants), that she 'ended-up' enrolling for TWO (herself too!)... The icing-on-the cake was... on the day of feed-back(usually the concluding session), she spoke with a teared pair of eyes, which kept searching if 'that-guy' (me), was anywhere around! (people who 'invest' usually volunteer till the last day... I was a 'drop-out' from that volunteering for over a decade!

I was reminded of this incident when a youngster told me that one of his committee members who was the 'audience' of his 'defense-presentation' requested for a 'action-replay' of it, to suit his-own pre-engagement on the day-of-act... (And I thought... “it does pay, to re-enact afresh, as if for the first time!)

re-presentingly yours,

psn(31st May, 2016)

Savings

I saw this cartoon in a local newspaper...(last week)...

“Very practical” ... I thought... easy to sermonize.... difficult to hold on :)

(Just two dialogues:

Sarge : “Remember, Beetle, the journey of life begins with a single step”

Beetle: “I'm O.K. with a single step, it's all the other steps that worry me”)

....

At the branch of the bank where I had worked somewhere in 1992 or so... there was a 'handyman' employed by an engineering company. The company couldn't do well, and this fellow couldn't find a well-paying job, so the compromise left him impoverished.

He handled the bank work of that company, and his 4 to 5 trips per day happened to be more for 'begging' to delay the debits , rather than merely 'maintaining' track of the account.

It so happened that I was slightly different from other clerks, when they got irritated with this 'unproductive' waste of time conversing with this fellow's impractical requests. I instead managed to remain cheerful, and this brought us a little closer (the need was his, to 'maintain' me in good humor, and little did he know, that he was wasting his efforts in being extra polite/respectful/etc with me :)... I decided to encash this, for his own good!)..

I asked him, “How about a cup of tea for me from YOU?”...

He could smell it at once, and retorted, “well, I wouldn't sink too deep into a financial crisis, if I feed you a cup of tea :-( (anger)”..

I went along with him up to the main door, and said, “on 'second-thoughts'... let me say.... give me that Rs.2/- instead, in cash... I can drink when I like!”

He took out a folded/crumpled 2-rupee note, and flashed it to me...
I took it, pocketed it, and said, “well, let's go back to work”...
The next day, I teased him with an abrupt-surprise , “Tea?... like yesterday?”...
He was not going to cow-down... “Why not?' he said, and proceeded to dish out yet another 2 rupee note (suspecting, or rather 'judging' that I would repeat yesterday's feat, out of greed for hard-cash!)...
Then I took out his yesterday's 2-rupee note, and handing it back to him, I said, “keep this along, in safe-custody... I trust you...”
Now he asked, “what does it mean?”....
Time to let out my plan... :)
I said, “See... you seem to be able to afford a tea for almost each day, Rs.2/- that is... despite your meagre salary.. question of self-respect ... and I respect you for that..”
I continued, “why not make it Rs.60/- for 30 days?... and then, let me handle it into a recurring deposit account for you?... let us see, how far we travel... no deadlines, no goals, just keep walking each single step at a time?”...
He nodded..
Thus, the very first R.D. A/c( a recurring deposit account) of his life :)
An year later, I helped him collect the maturity value, and then led him to that lady who handled loans, and told her, “You had refused to finance him for a second-hand sewing machine, when he asked for it, so that his wife, a householder, can do some tailoring work privately and supplement his family-income, ... ... because he couldn't produce his own-margin money... Well, here it is... now please take up his case...”
Still, a collateral by way of 'guarantee' was an issue..
So, at my suggestion, the women folk of that branch agreed to give him their 'not-so-important' stitching work (for ladies, fashion, finish, perfection etc of garments is too precious, otherwise)... and the 'labor-charges' can be directly credited to that loan account... obviating the 'practical' aspect of a guarantor's presence... Yes, a nuisance value... indeed, but she decided to 'oblige'...
The arrangement worked well :)
Three years later, he placed a loan-proposal for two more such half-rate sewing-machines, when his wife's neighbor-hood ladies (in similar poverty), became 'assistants' to meet the growing 'bij-ness' :)

5 years later that fellow sneered at me mockingly, saying... “you know.. now I can just stay idle at home! My wife's earnings are good enough to live a little more-decently!” (their yardstick of that 'decency' translated as luxury of one or two movies in a theatre, a few trips to restaurants etc ).

I felt so-happy... he managed the rest of the few-early ones of the 'other-steps' after the proverbial “First step” of the journey of life!...

The 'fusion' .... seems to be the tricky thing, to happen, when support from others gets snapped too often due to lack of trust :)

(This time it worked, but.. I thank lady-luck! One fellow learned the work of 'savings' :-))..... )...

Oh! How do I tempt people to persuade themselves, into conserving/saving the energy expended by their mind ? (spiritual path.. makes every step, so-difficult, after the first one!)

extravagantly yours,

psn(30th May, 2016)

Defense

:-))

Unless we have anything of value,
what the hell are we going to 'think' of defending?

When corruption is so rampant in a nation... the 'other-wise' aam aadmi (but for his army uniform), is rather 'constrained' to wonder, “Hey! What the hell am I going to defend?.... stupidities of netaa's or the stupid fellow countrymen who keep voting for them?”

Stupidities: The 'neta' acts as an inadvertent 'second' line of defense, when a few patriotic fellows do identify a terrorist, and gun him down at an obscure place... The 'handlers' are very keen to 'defend' the morale of the 'sleeper cell'.... they know the concept of 'defense' a little better... so they pay the neta to bark 'human rights'... and challenge the 'encounter' as a fake one (irrefutable charge is: “How can the bullet holes be on the top of the head, if the encounter was a genuine one?” Oh!.. so even when dealing with a 'post-proven-terrorist', the other one, by mere reason of his wearing an official uniform, is under a heavy-obligation to obey all the 'traffic-rules' and knowing fully well that the monstor truck racing against him is on the wrong-side, and is dis-regarding all the known rules :-)).... )... Well what better defense can these 'handlers' provide to keep up the spirits of sleeper cells !

Stupid ones (maybe I top the list when I know about it...): For a spate of freebies, I keep voting for scamsters :-))... My stupidity defies all known definitions of 'a normal/ordinary-stupid', when I disregard the fact that... there is a better defense which evades my common sense than the silly-fact that :these freebies are funded by the taxes I pay... the better defense: the articles that come as a 'freebie' are of most-possible-substandard ones .. How else can the supplier beat the 'tender' rates, and yet pay kickbacks in dollars!

And (thus) we march on (or is it here the 'thus' fits better?)... .... for how long ... dunno!

In the ancient days,
the subtle concept was.... a knowledgeable person requests the court-audience of a king, and he presents a 'theory' which he defends, when other experts question its validity (this 'process' is still continued with Ph.D's of present day)...


Little did I know, that I would be presenting a 'defense' without even being aware of it... :-))

Well, it doesn't fit into any known official structure of a defense-presentation, but I guess, it turned out to be one...
There was a preceptor, whose profession was of a priest... and he happened to be well read in scriptures...
He never really expected the kids whom he 'threaded' (during the course of his profession as a priest)... to grasp the concepts of chants, experientially, when they are initiated and then as a token of this initiation, adorned with a simple strand of thread across the shoulders ( a sect of Indians still continue to go-through this ritual, and call it 'religious' ... though conceptually, there was nothing religious about it... the belief was too strong, and so concepts remained elusive)...
I too had been threaded thus (even the steel pipes are threaded, so that the grooves hold the movement steady along the thread )...
A time came , when this ritual of chant which accompanies the 'threading' was to precede the act of initiation to be done by me-myself, (under the guidance of the same preceptor)...
It so happened that the vibes of the chant impressed this preceptor a lot... and he squeezed his eyes, to allow the tears collected in it to flow down freely, before he said : “I guess, I can now... as well retire from the 'upa-adhyayanam'...” (his very profession, he meant... when he said 'I can retire')
I wasn't quite prepared to listen to such a pronouncement !
It took a while for me to grasp the import of what he said!
I was fortunate to realise that his words constitute (for me and me alone)... nothing less than an acknowledgement of a 'successful' defense !

It is good that I am never going to be in any 'committee' that handles the 'defense' of a potential candidate :-))
I would end up into stupidities like asking a kid : “Hey why not a full-dress-rehearsal?... at times, a rehearsal turns better than the 'staged' drama :-))... and then, it does not matter if the 'real' is viewed only-virtually, by me :-)) ...}

Indefensibly yours,

psn( 25th May, 2016)

indispensability

:-))

I don't know,
which one to start with...
a joke,
or the serious part of it :-))

The joke is a bit old one (but not famous, since it did happen 'along' with me in it :-))...}

A girl of about 11 or 12 asked me (it was some 45 years ago)... “What is the meaning of indispensable”?

She was in a school at a very remote village, and teachers were not too-vulnerable to being exposed for their ignorance.. They parry (deflect, like arrows are thwarted) such queries with a standard reply “look into the dictionary... when will you learn to use it?”

I looked into her eager eyes...
She had 'great expectations' out of me... (she and her younger sister used to enjoy the 'mind set' via accents, styles and dialogues of a city youth like me... for a rustic kid, it was ample entertainment).

So, I picked that 'route'...

I said, suppose you go to this toilet ...
(I have to briefly explain the 'this-toilet'... They had very recently 'housed' a modern toilet –flush type-- though Indian style of seating, and ... the search for a small place left them with no choice other than a tiny room adjoining a main hall, meant to be stuffed with junk toys, old items of disuse, etc... Their usual toilet was too simple... a large pit, with good stone pillars laid across, and a wall around it, with a tiled roof, about 100 metres away from the dwelling... water was carried from a well.. it was excellently hygienic, though of an old style... the 'collections' were regularly made into good manure, and no harmful germs/insects were allowed to thrive)...
“this toilet”.. I continued.. “ has a tap with a small water tank overhead, connected... somebody forgot to switch on the motor, and the tank is dry... Some guests are in the hall... you need water to wash, and then come out of the toilet... you can't shout, as-usual... 'mom, no-water...!!'... Now, tell me, don't you 'find' water to be 'indispensable'?”...
As expected, this tiny girl burst into an uncontrollable laughter, and I had to wait, till she finished with her laughing bouts.. (Something so-good about these simple village girls was, they are quite intense with their emotions... they thoroughly live-through every thought-process, and therefore the learning-curve was too-good!)...
Then she collected herself (the laughter session brought her mom, my aunt into the hall, leaving something burning on the wood-stove, at the old-style-kitchen!... She first stared bewildered, and then joined in the joke, to laugh together with her child....).
As if to amply reward me ... this girl declared, “Never again will I require to look at its meaning for the rest of my life!... I guess, I can even use this word all-by-myself, to its best potentials!!!”...

....

What I found was... most people around , due to sheer desperation of ensuring a 'decently-respected-survival' try to make even 'themselves'.... quite indispensable , at least at crucial or vital areas of activity...
It touches a ridiculous low... when a spouse says... “Without me, he can't even reach a towel by himself/ without me, she can't even ...... (I prefer to leave it blank.... readers may guess anything)..

At school... a clerk holds the management to ransom, by abruptly disappearing on 'fee-collection' day...
At work place... say banks... the annual closing phase, the year end... is a strict-no-absenteeism week...
The list is endless...

People are reluctant to share with their expertise, for fear of becoming redundant... once 'anybody' can do a job!

Unfortunately, spiritual concepts... when they are by-themselves so-mystic already, ... the aam aadmi finds it so-convenient to blame the fellow who is a bit familiar with its intricacies!...
Unlike empirical laws (its knowledge)... these concepts are 'purely-experiential'... we jump into the cauldron, like the chemicals we put inside a test-tube, and see-for-ourselves!... Yes, nature has been amply generous to give us the basic tools already... But we made/rendered ourselves into such a state, that even to 're-introduce' us to our own basic tools, a guide is needed (and therefore, the debate, ... whether a Guru is really needed!).

Recently somebody asked me, “This Shani temple entry... is it biologically not good for a woman?”..
Now, the word 'biologically' itself, assumes the 'asker's' own absolute-certainty, that no-other aspect is going to be vulnerable... the non-biological areas like the mind, its psychology, and the 'being' (by whatever name we call it, the prime energy that keeps ticking inside us as 'life')...

I had a choice...
I could have suggested: “Did you verify the credentials of that 'brigade' ?” (Some vested interests could have backed the protests, assuring some kind of highlighting, social fame etc.. Politicians are so-seriously upset, when one top politicians abruptly closed the pipelines of illegitimate income.. Aadhaar linking made the siphoning of 'subsidy' in the LPG cylinders difficult... Neem-coating of Urea made its cheap subsidized availability for industrial use impossible.. the cascading effect renders thousands of parasitical bureaucrats of even lower level to starve for their luxury expenses, out of unearned income!)...

I could have asked: “Did those protesters clearly spell out, what they lost-exactly, by being deprived of a prayer inside the sanctum?...” (it implies that the deity... is not 'really' as powerful as thought-of-to-be.. and the attributes of omnipresence, omniscience, omnipotence etc are mere ornamental embellishments, and have nothing to do with existential applications :-)) it also implies that, a clear understanding about the process of consecration, etc is assumed)...

I granted the 'benefit' of doubt... and explained it 'my usual way'... (and I knew, even this is going to just render the asker out-of-stock, unless, the intent is to pursue me with irrelevant and side-tracking queries)...

It was my spiritual journey which reassured me that I was quite right about my choice (while practically, I found myself an odd-idiot, when I easily shared what ever I knew with almost anybody around, )... and my choice was based on a simple logic (maybe my own stupidity), that... when I make the next person do what I can, and especially if that person is 'branded' as a dumb-fellow, is it not an extension of 'myself', and therefore my functionality through my-extension, with the same dexterity, as that of mine, ... in doing that job?... Am I not being in Unison with the cosmic law, that everyone is closely knit, in their deep inter-dependence with everything and everyone around?

Whatever... I did not feel having lost anything much out of keeping aside that fear of becoming redundant, when I abstain from attempting my-own-indispensability... instead, maybe ... I learnt something more... about that very expertise... plus... the other person, whether it is his ability to learn, or otherwise :-))

dispensably yours,

psn(18th April, 2016)

Tehzeeb

Oh!
I lack even the stature to talk about this word...(though I am still at it... trying to evolve into it.. till-my-last :-) I like it so much!....)

Even the climb was arduous for me... from Teh-Jeeb to that fuzzy sounding 'Z' (now we have the Z in 'Zee Movies' , to assist us )....

It is not that I try to escape from making a mention about what it means to the uninitiated ones into grace of Urdu language...
The popular sense of it oscillates between manners, etiquettes, and the like ones...

Though not picked as a 'best' answer,
somebody gave an answer, which I found a liking for....

(quote)

https://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090709095408AAusam9

“It's an Arabic word which literally means trimming or cutting out the bad, harmful, useless, obscene parts of the looks, speech, behavior etc. So it's used to denote editing (written literature), training, promoting good manners, and discipline and so on..”

unquote...

This 'Tehzeeb'... seems to be losing out its popularity , of late...
Speed, or the fast-pace of life is making it unaffordable, to a large extent...

By itself... it doesn't even seem to make any logical sense, ... it gives a certain kind of 'feel-good-factor' to the recipient... Logic doesn't support patronising it , any further! (maybe that's one of the reasons of its losing-out to 'traditionalism', a limb of perpetuating values!

'Perpetuating values'...?
Oops! I tripped on a live-wire ... (I guess :-)...}

Other life forms do not seem to look at 'values' ... the way we humans do... maybe they weren't designed to 'accommodate' it... and the 'science' might argue that they don't even need such values, being superior in some-way-or-other, in terms of capabilities at sensory levels, (for reasons of self-preservation/perpetuation etc.. of the species).. ...

We humans, seek to 'evolve'... this is evident, from the quixotic adventures we undertake often, when such exercise has nothing to do with 'basic-survival' :-)

Now, to 'evolve'... we obviously need to 'contain' a few 'natural tendencies'... a bit sensibly, a bit intelligently... (like, we forego a good sleep on the eve of a public exam, we miss the TV serials, etc.. A neuro-surgeon of the 'west' is 'alledged' to be abstaining even tea/coffee, a week ahead of the brain surgery... so that his hands remain steady, and the tiny nerves come under his firm grip while suturing)....
we seem to undertake 'self-imposed' restrictions, while we attempt to evolve (some of us call it 'discipline' too!)...

This 'tehzeeb' , ... when it doesn't mean a thing, in existential terms... (it doesn't actually 'promote' any kind of material productivity, and such allied benefits)...
at subtle levels, it does seem to assist us to 'hold-on' to values... in a very 'round-about' manner!

(By itself, 'values' do seem to seek external 'support' till its breaking-point, when we hold on to values on-our-own)

In a simple example (if we attempt to say it).. it acts as a kind of 'speed-breaker' to our impulsive tendencies, those of which are negative in nature... (Tehzeeb curtails a spurt of anger, abusive-outburst, pre-judgmental-inclinations/orientations... etc)...... 

If it 'really' does that... (the speed-breaker-wala business...), ain't it good enough?

Well, I did not really miss any 'romance-phase' of life...
Just that I romanced with those 'evasive-values' which were too subtle to even allow a glimpse, leave alone a grasp-of-it.. at tender childhood age!..
Maybe it was therefore that , I found it worth while to indulge in a romance with this amazing urdu word 'Tehzeeb'... and so much that... I even use it with people who are utter strangers to that language, and then proceed to elaborate its equal terms, in a known language, while the reason was mere 're-living' yet again with an old romance-partner of mine :-)

My 'tehzeeb' prompts me... close this burdensome narrative, before it tells upon the patience of the reader!

Yours tehzeeb-ly,

psn(13th April, 2016)

Post script: Oh yes! I was not entirely-without any kind of material benefit, this quixotic adventure or romance with tehzeeb... I just move-out-of the other's way so graciously, once they give a hint, that I am being a nuisance! (To me, the only criteria being... can I survive, without causing a 'nuisance' to them, thus?. Don't I owe at least this much to my co-humans?.... Leaving it as 'their' problem, to figure it out... as to what they-miss, when I play-dead, in their experience!).. To me, it just means more-freedom, from my Tehzeeb/ed-concept, that I am interdependent with 'everyone&everything' around me :-)
It leaves me free to pursue spiritual path, with a little greater-intensity!

Dumb Voters!

I liked this 'forward' :-))

Corruption, and its by-products abound...

Yet India survived, and now, even seems to progress!

The secret of our having survived thus far, as an ancient culture, an ancient society, having managed to even retain a demonstrable sample of spiritual essence, was perhaps the foresight of our ancients that we would turn into 'dumb voters' :)

And they quietly injected a few vital ingredients into the 'way of life' that they bequeathed (in)to us, that would survive and outlive even our worst stupidities :-))

We keep voting blindly....
For inept politicians,

unscruplous people at the helm of affairs that affect almost all facets of society, including even education,

and along with all these, we also 'vote' to some extent for a few rituals and traditions, without even understanding as to why we subscribe for them :-))

It works!

And it sustains, and survives... paving way for a revival, in a big way!

I even managed to 'coin' a question , when the Yahoo people persuaded me to participate in that forum...

But, a few of us do try to look at 'do we need to vote thus, so blindly?'... And when this question of a conscious vote crops up with respect to spirituality.... there is no going back! (maye that's how I got trapped into it!)

Dumb voter, yours,

psn (6th April, 2016)

Automation

A magical word indeed !

And its magic works so well, that it never runs short of a 'majority' , as its devotees!

In the name of security, cleanliness and orderliness, some temple has automated the cracking of cocoanuts (or was it 'breaking', of nuts ? )... and the 'make up' of that machine is of some deity...

Somebody sent me a 'forward' of a video clip via whatsApp... it showed a 240 year old robot which can write flawlessly, that 'manu-script' style... a sophisticated piece of machinery, and a 'miracle' when it is so-old!!!

Generally, repetitive jobs are sought to be automated... (that is what.... I thought)..

But a startling aspect dawned when I saw a very famous global company automating a 'letter' to those who declined its 'job-offers' :)

Such automation is 'safe' only as long as humans do automate their adoration too, for automation :) But, if somebody 'looks' at it, and 'observes' consciously, will it not 'show' that the number of 'job-offer-declines' are so high, that even that had to be automated?

My head started spinning...

Cocoanut 'offer' when automated, loses its intrinsic values, which is right now not-within-our range of perception... the 'deity' to which this is outsourced, can it be 'consecrated'?

Writing a book, was assigned to a deity, who was 'supposed' to be not just brilliant... but an expert at removing hurdles (if we look at those epic stories of (Lord) Ganesha taking a 'dictation' as a scribe, from a composer of that Mahabharata, the sage Vyasa... (Now what 'else' can a robot write?, just the garbage-in/garbage-out... in a computer language... )

How many of us are 'really' relishing that automated voice response, when we dial the phone number of some utility services? (In India, when that call gets transferred to a human operator, he does a better job at such 'automated' responses, which only aggravates the frustration of a complainant!)...

Now, that brings up yet another question in my mind... Have we ended up 'automating' the 'meanings' that we assigned to the words that we used?... Or do we take a 'flash-glance' at the concepts embedded in those words?

A flood of examples pours into me... those 'remixes' of songs... a devotional song is remixed into some joke, advertisement, etc... (when a kid, I overheard a casual remark, “Hey, the overdose of repetitive listening to that advertisement for 'Afghan-Snow' has rendered me so-useless, that I can no more appreciate the beauty of the snow-capped mountains, when I spend hundreds of rupees to visit them on a picnic, because.... I am 'only-reminded' of that stupid snow-bottle, and the product-name :-( Now, a kid at school says, opposite of the word 'original' is 'china' :-)) ... we are 'evolving'!....)

What would happen to those chants then?...
The precious word forms.... some of which were called Mantra? ( I got answers too soon, when most people couldn't 'see', why the famous Gayatri-chant ... when it was also designated as 'mother-of-chandass'... should not be degraded, by calling it a 'mere-mantra'... though basically, it is indeed a mantra!!!)...

The multiplication tables were 'chanted' by kids ... (that was decades ago)... today, it is outsourced to computing technology... (the 'unfortunate' few, who are destined to reach a research-level at computing... only they would 'discover' what they missed, when the deeper-concepts of mathematics sprouted from-within, only when the non-automated-chants were 'imposed' on a kid at the very “primary” stage, ... rightly named as 'primary-school'.... :-))

Automatically yours,

psn 29th March, 2016

Complacency in complaisance :)

As commoners... we seldom find it worthwhile to go too deep into the implied meanings of words...

But, as life experience deepens... those simple adages we heard during childhood suddenly seem to make 'More-sense' now, than it ever made... They seem to become 'live', and even mock at us!

During my kid days, the only instance/occasion, where I noticed my elders getting too-focused for the right choice of words was, when they tried to send a telegram :)
The reasons were too obvious...
Cost of 'number of words'... length of a single word did not increase its cost, ... hunt for a single word that 'carries' the meaning of more words...

Uniqueness of words... even if misspelt, the receiver should manage to decipher its original word :)

Shelf-life of message: Telegrams at times reach a little late (usually, it is about those which says, “I am coming there”... I reach well in time, to receive the telegram :)

Etc...  

But today, merely because it-costs-just-peanuts... we became 'complacent' about the contents of what we say, copy-paste and forward to yet-others :)

When I came to spiritual business... I was dumbfounded at once... the very choice of words, adhere to the concept of 'unambiguity' even at basic levels.... Be it about describing a physical practice, or whether it is about 'identifying' the phenomenon within, which indicates a spiritual-experience !
The worst part was... these spiritual masters ... were in 'unison' .. they refused to compromise on unambiguity, even at the cost of mystifying a fresher!

For instance, that verse in Hindi, “Bura Jo Dekhan Main Chala, Bura Naa Milya Koye Jo Munn Khoja Apnaa, To Mujhse Bura Naa Koye” ... it roughly translates as, “I searched for the crooked, met not a single one When searched myself, "I" found the crooked one”.. A logical mind would meet a dead-end too soon, when it attempts to grasp the deeper-sense of it... where as, when the perception deepens enough to transcend the mind, the 'judgemental-nature of mind' gets revealed :))

The strangest thing is... once the meaning becomes clear, our own mind does a 'same-side-goal'... preserve the mysticism in it... says the mind, and let the freshers work their way towards it, even as I did!

But, when I tried to look at that word, 'complacency'.. ... something that the extremists in violence seek in others, to get away unnoticed, and inflict a damage by surprise...
I was in for yet another surprise!...
“You are okay, then I am okay” started its game as a malignant growth within, deterring spiritual growth in us, with that innocent looking thing called, “complaisance”... turning into a 'complacency' in us :)

For reference, I looked at “the free dictionary dot com”

About complacency: A feeling of contentment or self-satisfaction, especially when coupled with an unawareness of danger, trouble, or controversy.

About complaisance: deference to the wishes of others; willing compliance

Ah, ... when it comes to our-own-selves... beware of that 'like for yourself, what you like for others!'(I told myself)... A tricky game !

So, whether I happen to note and remember that subtle difference between 'complacency and complaisance' or not... it is vital that the subtlety doesn't translate into 'actuality' in me :)

complacently yours,

psn (20th March, 2016)

Driver's seat

Oh...

The seat itself sounds so vulnerable, when the prefix 'driver' alerts us about the dynamism expected out of the person seated on it...!

Large vehicles require the assistance of either another person or the 'dependable' gadgets which takes care of the view of otherwise-obscure sides of that monster-sized vehicles..

A good driver, is one, who looks out for the earliest signs of a vehicle going off-track.. ...

Not bothering about the wheels or its air-pressure isn't really a comforting thought when it is a 'Pilot' on the driver's seat ... He takes a look at many more dials each minute! His working hours per week, per month are perhaps the lowest among drivers of all kinds...

How many of us drive a vehicle well, I wondered.... One vehicle that we cannot ever engage an other person as its driver seems to be our own body (more so... not just even-when.... when this whole vehicle, the body of ours, is placed in another vehicle which has a full-fledged-driver... That's when we 'fly' !... The longer the 'flying' , more the care this body-vehicle needs from its own exclusive-driver... ).

Body wakes up each day, and only then the driver is woken up by this vehicle...

The body 'reports'... sense of touch 'okay'.. hearing is 'okay'... a few organs in the lower abdomen needs an urgent cleaning, etc..

But does this vehicle body, 'sleep' at all?... The engine keeps running on an 'idling' and yet, the repair job takes place at an hectic pace (doctors tell nurses in the ICU, “Don't bother to wake up the patient, to give his hourly doses of medicines... we are yet to find a medicine that replaces sleep!)..

The 'mind' is usually the one that distracts us (our attention), from driving this body-vehicle, the way it ought to be driven... Even re-fueling is dictated by the mind, according to its whims, when we know well, that it is the eccentricities of the mind that leads to the vehicles unladen-weight becoming unruly :))

As long as the body is in our custody... no matter whether it is in 'running' condition or not... working condition or not... differently-abled or not... it is the driver's expertise in us that decides about the journey we undertake with this body... And if this body leaves us in mid-ocean, and quits, the drift of the waves becomes the driver+vehicle... (Ocean, a symbolism of karmic residues :))...).

A reasonably silent mind allows the driver's seat to function more effectively...

Spiritual Masters, ensured that the 'driver' never at all goes to sleep... Maybe, they happened to really appreciate the 'worth' of this sophisticated vehicle, the human-body! It sounds quite reasonable... the horn need not blare , the lights can be dimmed, and the gears disengaged, when the engine is just-idling... (Oh! At once, I am reminded of that huge vehicle, which does a bore-well digging, while the vehicle itself is “firmly” footed at a place... it doesn't even engage its hand-brakes!.. It is during deep sleep states, that the driver's alertness is at its peak levels, and the digging reaches the core of our being!) ...

a driver, at your service,

psn (6th March, 2016)

Dependability

Whose “ability” is it , that I am looking at?.. (depend----> (on) Ability)...
I kept wondering...

My ability to assess the other's dependability,...... or the dependability of the other which itself makes-redundant, my ability to even-assess the other properly ...

When we look at a nation's progress... I guess, this 'dependability' factor plays quite an important role and a significant one too... The recent joke, sent as a forward... is perhaps good-enough to substantiate, that the 'nations-name' gets labelled (A kid wrote the opposites for given-words... Light—darkness, white—black... etc, and for “original”, he turned 'dependability' towards 'popular-meaning' and said “china” as the 'more-plausible' answer )...

Telegrams were not so-dependable, when I found my uncles arriving at the door a bit earlier to receive their own sent-telegrams, to announce their visit :))

Only as long as ...type-set-composing was a strenuous task,.... the 'printed' matter was fairly dependable... Now, even printed currencies ... Oh!.. We are asked to write the 'serial numbers' of higher denomination currencies on the 'back-side' (not the reverse side... 'back' seems 'more-dependable as a word, when the grammatically-accurate one “reverse” seems irreversible!...), of the 'challan' while paying cash at gourmet/government counters... (cashiers—gourment-appointed/pubic-servants.... are not even 'expected' to improve their own dependence-ability at guessing correctly the fake counterfeits-from-genuine-counterfeits/or whatever... See, I don't exactly depend on my own vocabulary :)).....)

Dual SIM cards... a demonstrable example of dependence on tower-connectivity?

Suddenly, our effort to insulate ourselves against 'providence' ... the provident-fund is 'axed' (oops! It should be 'Taxed'... budget proposals)...

Yes... the VVIP's are very dependable on one thing.. they are late for the 'public-address' by a minimum of 60 minutes.. ... (incidental benefit is... the 'timers' set to eliminate them, if at all they remain dependable, go off a bit too-early... the 1998 serial blast of coimbatore upset the cart of dependability, when 'usual' late-coming was not properly 'computed' :))... ).

The highest authority, meant to safeguard the country... are making a U-turn, on their earlier pronouncements made under 'pressure' of the-then-rulers... The intelligence of Bureau(ib) is no more-dependable :)).... when it comes to an aam-aadmi trying to assess a desh-bhakt..!!

The race is now, about assessing the non-dependability accurately, rather than the potentials, skills, etc while hiring! ( I was reminded of a 'short-cut' that a few of my bosses tried to lean-upon, when they said, “I trust you, so I will not check, but sign blindly, your clerical calculations!”.. and I reminded them “But sir... you are not paid to 'trust-my-accuracy', despite my integrity... and so pleez don't depend on the dependability on my accuracy at maths :))...” }

That leaves me confused...

When I 'talk' of independence... am I declaring my 'freedom' from dependability on others?

Dunno!

Oh!

Spirituality doesn't depend even on ..... dependability... not in the least, on that of others!

But that makes it komplicated/complicated... We are so used to playing only 'dependable-games' :)

In-dependently, yours

psn(3rd March, 2016)

Not my problem!

Somebody at the other end of the planet is....

dying of starvation...

engaged in brutal killing of.... people/endangered species/plant life...

engaged in polluting the air too-heavily....

(examples we can easily related with “our-mind”... science and media helps comprehending the cascading effects )...

what about subtle matter?.. thoughts, they say... 'are quite subtle, yet they are-physical'... how does it affect?... And if it does , how do we counter it?...

Ha ha ! “Freedom of speech” is now under the magnifying glass, when anti-national slogans are shouted at the so-called temples of learning (JNU-example)... And, vested interested politicians argue on behalf of the so-called 'innocents'... who support passively, with a 'Not-my-problem' wala attitude, inside the very same place!...

Some SIM cards do not 'register' itself, THOUGH they very-much-sense the tower!

A typical example of a 'commercial-advantage' taken very clandestinely, by 'clever-competitors'...

They take advantage of “Not My... or even Our... problem” kind of attitude of overpaid, over-secured (job-security) govt-owned mobile provider organisation! (Basically, it did become 'my-problem' :)) ... the smart-phone says, 'can't register your SIM-number...try later'.... the 'later-on' is of infinite time-distance, as yet!!!

Put some other SIM, it sings well!... Addicts to 'smart-phone' would lose their cool...!

I,... a freak of sorts... devised my-own ingenious ways!

Just tried that SIM on a 'basic' gadget... It sings! (Yep, ... the skeleton of that mini-SIM, trimmed into a 'micro'... remains in the cupboard... that proverbial 'skeleton in the cupboard'... :))

I tried the 'smart' one's over-smartness... it works in my favor! Except for SIM related radio waves.. Good enough for me...
advantage-Becker ! (Tennis-style dialogue... for the other guy's stupidity... :)) .... )...

What came as a surprise was.... “Hey!!! here I turned myself into an 'opposite' of those “Dual-SIM” heroes!.... the same SIM sings via two gadgets!

Ain't it ... look ... seemingly rhyming?.... In olden times, two kinds of 'souls'... 'smart-ones' occupy the 'ready-made-body'... we used to call such bodies as possessed ones (dual SIM... two souls in one body.. like the movie 'The Exorcist'... part-I, part-II .. whatever)...

the other kind... present at two places simultaeneously... meditative prowess... the 'good' or noble souls!

To me, it seems so thus: Only a deep awareness of our interdependence with everything around us, live or not... is the key, the solution, the remedy... or even the cure,... for that dis-ease called 'not-my-problem'... the whole eternity is waiting... so whats the big-hurry!... Cosmos can wait, till we even-recognise that... 'not-my-problem' is the biggest ever dis-ease... it would never afford us to be at-ease about anything at all!... Logically, it is so easy to see it all.. the moment we say 'not my problem', ain't we already given it a name, ? The name that we-would carry for the rest of our 'lives'? :))

SIM-ply yours,

psn (26th February, 2016)

post-script-- Dunno, how long this 'trick' would really work... if it doesn't... well, a 'goodbye' to certain media platforms like whatsApp etc... “Really, not-my-problem” :))... I am almost done!”

A taste for dislikes!

:)
(yes, a smile-ly... that is what it evokes, when I look at myself, in the mirror of my mind, and how I kept chasing people, to look out for their 'dislikes' . :))

“I like it ONLY this way”... said another kid of my age, describing his “liking” for rice!
We both were innocent (not due to our spiritual evolvement... it was just-a-gift of that age... still idiots)... So, I asked him just-like-that (no boldness involved): “Hey, ... so you don't like rice basically... it is your 'tremendous' liking for curds that allows that 'wretch' called rice to be enveloped into coating of thick curds, and you barely manage to gulp the rice?”...
He looked confused.... a blank stare... then he confessed, “My mom compels me to eat at least some-rice... so I use curds to tolerate it” ... Ahaa! Now it is clear...

I moved on thus... observing dislike-to-another-dislike.... person-to-person...

some dislike “Maths”... some dislike “History” (may be they like only 'own-story', not His-story).. geography, language (mind you... only when language is subjected to being tested on that fellow for his proficiency... not when he hunts for choicest words of abuse to 'show' his dislike for another kid!!!)... Etc..


My kid came up one day and asked, “Tell me, what vegetable do I dislike?”...
(at first ... I thought... “Oh!... revamp of 'education' system... has it become so severe?... the teachers give 'even-such-home-works'???)...

So, I asked: “is it a home-work assignment?”

“Nah!... And, why do you assume, you are good-at, or even helpful with my homework/s?... not that... anyway... I asked mom, and she drew a blank, and asked me to run up to you with that quiz”

“But why?...” I tried....
“See... all my friends at my school, discussed during lunch hour yesterday, about their 'dislike-wala-vegetable item” he “explained”... and said, “when my turn came... I stared blank, and they had a laugh at me... and I said, 'well, I just need to look a little deeper.. even ask my parents, and shall come back with an 'accurate-list' tomorrow'... so ... that's it”
I shot back, “Tell them, you dislike almost all kinds of vegetables... just that ... at home, we buy what is 'available' and within our budget... so you, kind-of... got used to anything that is strictly-vegetarian... for that is what your folks at home are!”...
He looked at this suggestion as a 'good-compromise'... or maybe.. it fitted into his 'common-minimum-program'... and he left this 'problem' then-and-there :)

My dad was even better (than me , with my kid)... He 'bowed' to my wishes (my liking), when it came to even 'scolding'... words to scold were worded in English (medium of instruction at school).. But when I think about it now.. it ain't-exactly a dislike I had with my mother-tongue (father scolding in mother-tongue)... just-that... I would miss the 'impact-desired' , from that scolding, when part of my brain gets engaged into deciphering the meaning of the words (they use high jargon, when it comes to scolding some-kid... the spouse is 'listening' at the other end of the home, hell's-kitchen... and it may take a political-turn!!!)... Now, whatever it was.. my-dislike, or my 'differently-abled-ness/mess/etc'... I got scolded in English, and I got the 'message' seriously-enough!

My problem continued :))

I noticed... kept noticing... only then I can observe and learn...
Situation forces something as a routine... it can turn into a 'liking' in exclusivity of many other-dislikes... Shortage of oxygen in the air... (sandy deserts)... can , over a period of time, render the sensory-perception receptive to a 'taste' ... more via nose , than a tongue... Aromatic spices become the chief politicians in the kitchen of such people... not their fault.. Yes, it can become their-fault only when they 'migrate' to greener pastures, where they can evolve (over generations), into capability (ability deployed... or the other way... ain't-too-sure!) .. to use taste buds too, with equal dexterity as their noses!
Some north Indian dishes do not deserve a 'pickle' as a taste-enhancer... maybe, simply because, chillies have already pounced upon normal-dishes with the same-intensity as they did on pickled-tickled-item!..

Dislikes have a tendency to permeate into emotions too... when we get stuck into a liking for only one-sub-category of emotion! ( I do not like 'crying'... gets camouflaged into 'ability-to-laugh' at disasters!... Laughing alone won't work, do something about 'a' future-disaster!!!... Nope! My dislike doesn't allow me to 'design' a software unto that...!!!)

What does the spirit within... 'like'....?
Blank-stare...!!!

Obviously, file-attachments are denied in our email addressed to Mr. Spirit... (Oh! Is it that the spirit has a dislike towards 'likes and dislikes'???.... dunno)

Alike, yours,

psn(14th February, 2016)

Voluntary Audit

“Would you prefer to be told of your errors, mistakes, shortcomings etc... by somebody who has no authority to do so, and would therefore be a lot-more mild, kind, gentle, friendly etc...
or
would you prefer it from the boss, who can inflict consequential penal action too, carry that memory(venom), in his memory for a long time?” I asked...


It was a 'chance' I took... to see...
if I can translate my desire ...
to make a difference in the life of the fellow next to me! (a fresher is a better victim! :))

At work place... the 'book' says... seniors ought to help the fellow seated next to him to get acclimatized with the work-environment .... though the other might be quite good at work... the psyche of the clientele differs a lot from place to place.... For instance, at a village place, the 'attention' matters a little more! Tell them, 'Yep, we have seen/sighted you... and even trust you to allow us a little time to get the work done well' ... once they feel 'assured' of that attention, a little delay means nothing-at all to them... On the other hand, a busy client in a Metro city is only-concerned with quick-delivery of his requirement, ... forget those 'courtesies'...

Regular and official 'audits' do not contemplate such suggestions... they go by mere-checklists...

To gain that trust and confidence of my fellow-worker... I had to present a 'school-type' of check list... advantages and disadvantages along side :) .. Just to persuade him to allow me the 'auditor's' role into his work...
A 'voluntary' audit... I told him... is....

1. more genuine
2. the presentation of errors, weaknesses, strength-areas to be further strengthened, etc are better-presented
3. the effort to make it 'more appealing' is there (official auditor hardly bothers what the victim would 'think' about such harsh observations)
4. it is more acceptable... since it is voluntary... not a mandated checklist which may be outdated/irrelevant/impracticable/etc
5. it is coupled with a 'solution' often... auditors leave the 'battle-it-out' to higher up's with just saying 'what is not okay'...
6. it is 'more-timely'... the rectification is earlier, when damages leave a deeper scar, with official audits
7. introspection is there with the person who undertakes voluntary audit... he is inside the game, not a mere referee who doesn't need to win-or-lose :))
8. fosters that 'inclusiveness'... it is not a case of point-out-defect and just run-away!
9. Builds honesty and mutual trust ... something that a 'casual' visitor (official auditor) hardly even-looks-at
10. on going corrective measures ... just happen along side :)

Usually, they do take the 'bait'... and then a 'bond' gets established...

The 'probation' period of a fresher sails reasonably smooth...

Hey!

I thought... then it 'ought' to have been there in the ancient times!
Oh!... since the very 'priority' of a lifestyle was towards spiritual-evolvement... this 'audit' factor too was heavily shrouded, camouflaged... perhaps ... And that led me to focus a little more into it... That explained the 'flexibility' that was in built in those 'sutras' the thread... which accommodated flowers of a broad-spectrum!

Audibly yours,

psn(28th January, 2016)

Media power Versus Power via a-Media

"Media" has proved its clout, when technology powered its warhead, and they took-on the politicians....

Now it looks like ....

Media is drunk with power... ... it contemplates on showing “Gods” their place!

They take sides.... with women who insist on disrobing themselves off, of the gift that creation gave them in abundance, and taking up something of an inferior quality(given to male forms by the very same nature), in the name of 'equality' of gender... Well it is a matter of one's choice (and of-course, backed so-heavily by fundamental rights -->freedom-->constitution... etc).. ....

The drama looks too good! Wholesome entertainment....
Women at their peak intensity, asserting logic, and media 'crusading' their cause (temple entry)... while , I guess the media is 'effectively' testing its might against the very “Gods”...

Now, Gods wouldn't really oblige, by manifestly conceding a 'defeat' to the king-maker-power of Media...

Something held with great reverence... looked like a 'sanctity'....

The ancients (especially the evolved ones), were basically too-scientific... they transcended even sensory perceptions.... they started with “Zero” (the smallest possible nano-scale)... and then explored the permutations and combinations possible with its manifest macro-scale... Obviously, they found a 'pre-fabricated' structure to be far-more sophisticated to 'toy-with'... (siddhis)...

We just can do anything at all....only with what is right in front of us (even with babies, the toy has to be moved a little closer to the baby, if it has to be tempted to crawl towards it's reach )...

A wire is “no-probs”... as long as it is not “live”... bare hands, dirty-hands, wet-hands... its all the same... Enliven it with that 11K volts... and now with a dripping-wet body... some 4 inches close, not even 'touching it yet' (electrical engineers say 'too risky)...

Fortunately for us... most temples are not in its 'live-wire' status... the art of 'consecrating' it is itself got into a 'ritual' , followed blindly... no testing tools around...
Ah!... testing-tools! ...
Media has offered to be one! (or is it that .... they thought, they are good enough to take-on even the Gods!... having proved their might on Political Gods?... Dunno!)...

Medium-ly yours,

psn(26th January, 2016)

Judging Judgments

Oh!

I try to see if it is appropriate to say an “Oh!”...
It is a non-committal type of expression, which keeps the other guessing about what it meant to the fellow who let-out-that 'oh!'....

Why do 'Judgements' get so-much-delayed in a court of law?... Before I got a chance to look at the enactments which constrain a Judge to adhere-to, to continue-to earn his salary , I tried to guess 'off-track' things like.... “are the Judges too apprehensive about how their-Judgements would be judged?.. Appeals(in higher courts) are in abundance!”

Once I had a look at the set of enactments, it became clear to me that they have nothing to do with 'Judging-properly'... they merely 'administer' the law :)

And, whatever the uncertainties... the bulk of it owes to the law-experts who manage the gymnastics of 'interpretation of statutes'... at an arena/boxing-ring, where the skills of logic, coupled with little bit of diplomacy, exploiting lack of grasp(poor investigation), perception(deducing like Sherlock-Homes), etc are put to test :)

At work place, when a new 'boss' turns up... it is those people who depend-heavily upon errors of judgements of this new-boss, which is to their favor, ... who are too anxious to 'find-out'... as to how this boss is going to judge 'situations' (the list of 'why they depend so'... is not only exhaustive, but also would take our 'judgements' about this exercise a little away from our curiosity:)) .. ...}...

Getting some work done at quite a few places is so-easy! Judgements about judgements are not at all complicated... Crisp currencies dissolves all problems! No wonder, 'corruption' is so-uniquely adored!... more the admonishments attributed to this enigma, more it nourishes and nurtures its spread!

Now it 'took-me' towards yet another arena.... the home front... where I was too-badly-intrigued, when I noticed the women folk, very urgently engaged into the task of how their male-folk are going to 'judge' at domestic situations!

It helped them to smoothen out their vulnerabilities to being adjudged to their dis-favour :)

If the diner likes his dishes a little salty, add that extra salt to all the nonsense that is churned out as 'dishes'... if he likes it sweet, make those pickles-too to taste a little sweet,...

If he dislikes a 'range-of-vegetables/dishes/tastes, it is a wind-fall of blessing(!)

It at once makes the 'range of weapons' to get formidably-armed, in the event of an incursion into kitchen's comfort-zones (to hell with what happens to the health-aspect... after-all, what else is a 'family-doctor' meant for ?)...

There is that 'pre-emptive' strike-capability too... like, “my kids don't eat these dishes, so it leaves me with very little choice about being innovative at cooking :)”... and then, it muffles voices of dissidence from external-support within the family!

I do not dare-to-elaborate the predicament of 'facing' a freak in the family, who can 'tolerate' any vegetable/dish/taste, and yet is capable of discernment-at-will and by-choice, when invoked!

What happens with a mind that happens to engage itself so-incessantly thus?... Does it ever get a chance to even look at 'own-judgement-patterns'?... (the 'logic' pattern of a CPU-processor is blessed indeed, when it is not even 'expected' to take a look at its own 'basic-concepts' of judging the user's choice-patterns!.. Even techies engage their minds to 'guess' the ever-changing judgement patterns of end users!... Impatience due to delayed-judgements of processors/pipelines, is of a great concern, often!)..

Taking the focus to another field where 'judgements' seldom work....

Oh!
When it comes to striving towards planting a desire('inception-movie'?), an appeal, an inquisitiveness, a thirst, .. a-something... that is likely to turn the attention of a person who 'specialises' in judging-judgements ... the task is at once a question mark ??... where at all, to even start?

Even the 'volunteering' (for a back-up support for spiritual programs) to take firm-roots into/inside the genuinely-eager participants , became an arduous task... Failures heaped torrentially!.. But not entirely without a few side-benefits! I knew exactly, where I could go wrong with my-judgements :)

Non-judgementally yours,

psn(16th of January, 2016)

Worry

I am not so-fortunate as the students of psychiatry/psychology/or-whatever...

They have the 'licence' to look at it (Worry)... whenever they feel inclined to... It is a part of their 'official-syllabus'!... Or, just open a text book, and read-off, read-away.... whatever a 'previous-expert' has written about it...!

I cannot even look at a “worry” unless I am a little-away from it...

Because, while I am with-it... I am also in-it... it , the worry, has soaked me fully... (unfortunately, mirrors don't 'tell'... how worried I look... it can only say, whether I 'look' beautiful or ugly :))...

:)

It was thus, that I proceeded to approach 'worry'.... when I 'thought' thus: “I am not so-much worried right now...”... I felt it to be an 'opportune-moment' to try and understand : “what this worry is all about?” :)

The very word 'intellect'.. seems to suggest, that it cannot be 'stupid' :)

The body, by its very design... (nature has done it for us)... doesn't do any stupidity by-itself... (for example, it tries to simply-throw-out... what is not 'needed'... dust I inhale (my own-stupidity), and the nose instantly-sneezes... it doesn't 'wait'... to ask... “Sir, May I...?” (throw it out?)... it takes me by 'complete-surprise'... and I am so-thoroughly-embarrassed... when I sneeze before an 'elite-crowd'... I mumble “sor-ry”... some elder retorts, “bless you” (Oh!... I am blessed... the body is sensible as-yet!)

Mind.... Yesss!!! Only “a” mind can play with worries (that's what I 'experienced' :) .... it just picks about-any-time... not bothered about my priorities... it picks an 'issue'... it plays the game of a 'worry'... it engages my-attention too-badly!....
Doesn't matter if it is my sleep time too!...
At best... it gives a 'concession'... like, “Okay... it is your sleep time now.. so, for-a-change.. let's worry about-THAT... the new topic is, 'it is sleep-time... what shall I do?... I haven't finished worrying about that 'X-topic'?”...

.....

Is it my own-imagination?....
I look at 'brilliant' minds...

At school, I had a lesson , a story... about a great-mind... Shri Archimedes... he too worried... “how to find out if that crown is entirely of 'pure-gold'?...”...
No help came... Melting down that crown spoils the workmanship (art, skill... that made the crown)..
He had to get along with 'routine' at some point of time... (sleep-time, was also a 'routine')..
Early morning... bath was a decent thing to do (it must be so... for him too!)...
He is yet to 'invoke' yesterday's pending-worry...
Maybe during that 'little-silent-period' of his mind... the intellect was given a little permission to 'observe'... something that was already happening in that bath-tub , all these years!!! :)
His physical body(structure)... uneven outline... displaces water in a manner which can be 'systematically' measured, pouring it into a 'symmetrical-sized' container... it has to match his body's volume! (the rest , we know.... Eureka business... Oh yes!... we even made it into a phrase! The scene of a bath tub, is attractive enough to tempt us to remember it quite-often... Other-eureka's are too-dull-looking!)..

My next 'worry'... “Hey! Why am I not bothered to think... like...'is the sun going to rise again tomorrow?..'... Oh sure! It has always been doing... for centuries at least... Then, am I going to live to 'see-it'?... That too, seems so-probable!... The milk-man is a 'reasonable' thing to worry! Let me worry with/about ...something, which is 'my' domain :) ... Doesn't matter, even-if... my-own-worrying is not going to improve or retard the 'actual-happening' of that event... Worrying is almost like my 'fundamental-right'!... It gives me a kind-of-reassurance, that I am 'responsible' :)

Oops!... Too late before I realised.... almost anything that I take up to do.. or is thrust upon-me, (incumbent on me to-do)... firstly... it takes the shape of a 'worry'... only then I am even-allowed to take a 'look-at'... what I can do...whether I can do... whether the situation will allow me to do it (I safely call it 'a situation'... actually, it is the people around who usually create 'that-situation' for me... a compressed-set-of-problems, the west says, “hey! We have a situation now!” :)

When an observation enters me via 'intellect'... (later the mind can do what it likes with it)... that 'worry' is also-something... that I can-even-try to understand :)

Meditative-states?... worrisome-meditation?... dunno !

worrysomely yours,
psn(9th January, 2016) 

It happens only in India :)

It is one thing to 'deserve' compassion,

and it is entirely a different thing to 'extend' compassion to somebody who is yet to deserve it... (I wonder, how people would 'feel' about it when they are a recipient of such compassion, when they are yet to 'deserve' it... I found it uncontainable, when the sense of gratitude swelled within me! The 'thing' that came out of such compassion was of such great magnitude!)...

The 'pranic-force' (call it by any name... life-energy... the 'very-life-component'... soul... atma.. whatever..)... this pranic-force is so subtle, so silent-within... so inconspicuous... that it simply evades our 'feel', our experience, our perception... The mind can't comprehend it (except creating some kind of 'imaginary-descriptions' from the hearsay that we get from all around... both credible, and non-credible sources... from people dependable, and people who merely hallucinate about it ).

I can only speak of my own experience... and I can 'attempt' to keep it in mind, that others who hear it from me do find their own time quite precious... irrespective of other parameters like their own factors (factors within their control, and beyond their control), which decide a grasp of what I share, with that high-fidelity grasp (in the sense, what is sought to be told, and told, is exactly what get conveyed and understood too!)

When my dad was hospitalised, I reached only a few days later... The doctor who walked that 'extra-mile' to encroach into the other doctor's domain at the hospital, did so, because this doctor was a kid-age-friend of my dad, and professionally quite competent too, also due to being a retired Army Captain, as a doctor of course...

This Captain Doctor told me on the day of my visit, “He ought to have died at least 3 days ago! I wonder what keeps him alive till now... So, that's it... expect it any time !”... And to my surprise, my dad survived yet another dozen days !!
(I simply stored this 'diagnosis'... the medical condition , that was defied by some 'unknown' force within, the life that kept ticking in my dad's body)....

Years later, it so happened that ... during a spiritual program, we were asked to chant a set of syllables (called a 'maha-mantra'... a spiritual-formula, supposed to invoke some 'spiritual' experience, ... coming down from generations of spiritual heritage of ancient India)...

We kept chanting it all the waking hours...
It felt so-stupid... with nothing really happening... except that we barely managed to keep chanting, and while doing so.... we were rather forced to 'tolerate' the irregular, nasty-sounding chant-patterns of our-own, as well of that of others around... Fatigue is an inadequate word to describe what we felt during the third day of this 'nonsense' (it seemed to make no sense at all, merely chanting a name, by which one of the 33 crore gods were uniquely named.. like some UID of Aadhaar numbers, which carried only one main purpose, that... no two numbers are alike).

Then it happened...
I felt something strange... (I felt constrained to call it 'strange'... only-because, ... I was not familiar with anything like that before/earlier... happening within me... More than that, I did-not/could-not even-conceive of any such possibility, an experience of that kind). It evades an 'accurate' description... The nearest that I can reach is ... it felt like some very-high voltage electric current flowing criss-cross, all through my body... ... some 'strange-circle' not the 'round-circle' that we call a circle... it simply circulated all over!

Oh!
I felt that 'oh!'

All along... I was 'carrying' this 'potential'/capability/possibility/whatever... of such an experience... right within?!! Forget what 'else' it can do... (the doing-with-it, of anything-else... is that 'calculative-mind' and its cunning games in me)... just to 'have' such an experience!.. it felt awesome/amazing/what-not!!!
Tears rolled down my eyes (dunno what these tears have got , anything-to-do with this experience!)...

Then , when I 'settled-down'.... I tried to 'make-some-sense' out of it... And that is the part .. which may or may-not-be true... just a guess-work... I do know that I am 'kept-alive' due to some unknown thing (call it life-energy).... this became a bit dynamic, thanks to the 'hidden' magic in that chant which whipped up the 'force' to activate it adequately-enough to ... in-turn... 'make' the other tangible/perceivable/feel-able/whatever... things/wiring/neurons, in me ... violent enough to bring it within a 'noticeable' level for me!...

years passed... I took care not to chant that set-of-syllables in that 'prescribed' way, unless told to... (a kind of reverence crept in... we don't play with switches that control nuclear-devices :)...). Then, on 'designated' days... when it was okay to chant it a few times, I started doing it, a bit mildly...

on one such day (rather, it was a 'night-time')... a person very close to me, asked me to stop-chanting it.. this person, I knew... had suffered the after-effects(side-effects), of prolonged and heavy-medication... which takes a toll on the nerves... It was so-easy-now... to 'grasp' what becomes of nerves... when it gets abused (for whatever holy-reason too).. over a period of time... It simply means... that when ancients called something 'asur'... they were perhaps referring to the non-synchronicity of a 'normal' functionality of the 'manifest form of life energy within' :-))

And then.... I really don't know... what else this particular thing did with me, this experience! Too clustered to single-out and relate each experience with each notch that marked the spiritual journey!

I leave it to the readers to decide, what to make out of what I shared as my experience (But yes, I have adequate-enough reasons, to tell-myself... that I was not entirely wrong, in attempting to 'eat-up' the quality-time of others!)...

Oh yes!... That caption “it happens only in India”... is rather a figurative expression only... to symbolise that 'rich , ample, and generous' life-style, or way-of-life, that we later started referring to as 'Hinduism'... and to feel proud of, when we have Masters, who managed to make it a 'structured' happening, when it does happen all over the globe, but only as a matter of chance!

thus, yours,
psn(5th January, 2016)

Eureka Moment

What an excellent piece of 'evidence'!

It is a functional phrase now! Nothing to do with that 'principle' which was discovered (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/eureka+moment )

A logical discovery it was... propounded as a theory in physics... One among many such discoveries.

The mind which discovered it, found an expression of a very deep emotion, in that exclamation, “Eureka”....
And when it is a deep emotion, the expression finds an instant appeal...!
(Politicians do make a 'full-use' of it... when they are gifted with the ability to make an emotional-speech... doesn't matter whether they fulfill their election-promises or not... it is good-enough to fool us for a while, till the votes are cast !).

Yes... I could notice that this discovery (now, whatever it was... let us not embarrass ourselves, 'risking' to ask the 'precise' details of what that discovery translates into, in physics!)... this discovery, found a greater popularity, merely because of the 'expression' of emotion in 'Eureka'!

And so, I was tempted to take a re-look at my own 'bundle-of-memories'...

Deeper the emotional experience, better the memory-retention!

The question is who becomes the source of inflicting that emotional-impact!!!

When we are vulnerable to certain “kinds” of insults... (a few of us do have bizarre items which cause deep-emotional-insults, much to the surprise of the others)... the 'storing' of it , into our instant-recall-memory-area ... is quite easy!

Kids find it too difficult to relate a few 'dry' lessons at school, emotionally with themselves... Unless some 'dramatized' effect is added to such lessons, committing it to memory is difficult.. They use a few tricks, if they are lucky to think of it... like ascribing some funny sound with a difficult spelling-word, etc...

“Good” piece of advice... evaporates too fast!... This, despite the emotional appeal that we found while that advice was imparted unto us... ! It fails 'only' when it was too-badly required to be remembered!.. Some other emotion ought to be conflicting with its 'sanctity' too badly, and thus nullifying/neutralizing its 'functionality' when actually-and-crucially needed!

Some emotions (yes, the related-memory-items associated with it), become a 'routine' part of us!.. We do not need any visuals even... a mere mention-of-it is good enough to bring a very strong experience of virtual-reality at any given point of time! (Some people feel a 'vomiting' sensation, by merely 'hearing' about a set of words... which makes a 'complete-sense' only-to-them, not to a grammar-teacher :) ! That is how these emotion-filled-memories re-act with us !)...

The sudden death of a parent, for want of good medical attention 'becomes' such a deep emotional memory item, that... the kid doesn't need any external source to motivate this kid, into becoming a 'doctor', no matter what kind of hurdles that kid faces on the way to becoming a medico!.. This piece of 'eureka' just keeps floating on the surface of the mind, during the entire waking period almost!

The spiritual quest, when it takes root into the person, to become an insatiable thirst... it is so-strange that ... other emotion-driven memories do not seem to have that 'grip' which we find in most people around! ( I found a rare kind of question on a forum, 'Yahoo answers', where an asker is actually challenging his own 'emotional' disposition, its inappropriate-looking-response, when the expression of a deep negative emotion, and the event related to it, turns in an opposite direction, when the recall of the event is conveyed to a listener!... Maybe, this person has not been fortunate enough to 'notice' or become aware of something much more precious that has taken-root within, namely, the 'distancing' of the being from what we call as 'my-mind', and 'my-body', etc !)...

details of that question (for somebody who is keen to take a closer look at this example :)...)
https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20160101012811AAAXvye

Is it normal that i make jokes when I tell others about my terrible past?

For example, a few days ago, I told my best friend about what my past was like. (Physical abuse, sexual abuse, etc.) She was quite alarmed when she noticed that I wasn't crying or frowning as I spoke. She said it was almost making her feel uncomfortable because I spoke of such horrible situations with a smile, at times. Don't get me wrong, I didn't enjoy any of the abuse. I was, however, talking as if we were having a normal conversation about, say, a silly joke. I haven't realized I did this until my friend told me about how I acted as if I thought it were a joke that I had been abused as a child. Then it hit me, as I began to recall the past few times I have told others. I acted the very same way for them as I did for her. Is there something wrong with me?

Unquote...

The best part is... “Is there something wrong with me?”.... !!!
The 'mind' finds it safer to adopt to a popular pattern!...
It pays a price that is too heavy!

Perception potential... !

Emotions are merely the manifest-forms of intuitive aspects of a mind... and it does help for that memory-storage functions... Intellect functions better when emotions are 'really' tamed!

The teacher 'knows' ... the 'arduous' aspect of his task... when he sets about to invoke a spiritual-awakening into a keen disciple, who comes armed with that 'emotional' inspiration, for a spiritual-experience!

Momentarily yours,

psn(2nd January, 2016)