I am useless!

As simple as that!

People try to find out if I am a 'good-fellow'... and they find it so embarrassing to spell out their findings!

(Actually, one person did spell it out! The tragedy was, the person to whom it was told was unfortunately too well aware of the 'why & how' of it!)...

A cockroach, for instance... can it be ever 'good' ? To us, of course... and we mean it only 'thus'! That's the catch!

Spirituality doesn't exactly 'promote' being good thus! This simply defeats the expectations of the bulk of people today, from spiritually-oriented-persons!

The 'other way' of looking at it ... those who attempt to 'promote' spiritual growth in others, having had a 'fair' measure of growth in themselves, try to look for 'potential' in those-others!

Average goal-seekers try to look for 'qualities' in others, when they contemplate to team-up to make the reach for their goals a little easier, faster/speedier, etc..

Qualities are at various levels... when it is almost 'effortless' it is dexterity/skill/etc... At knowledge level only, it is expertise, and not a skill-yet!

Professionalism is viewed in two ways, when looked at in a macro-level... Both converge at 'impersonal' attitude.. ... James Bond is a professional, and doesn't waste much time with 'condolence' etiquette/s when his co-spy is fallen (only in one movie, he 'affords' himself a quick glance, making a 'specific' request to his adversary, when he is led handcuffed, and his colleague lays fallen!)... Emotions are dealt-with quite effectively! Only in 'spiritual-professionalism' perhaps, emotions are really transcended... with empirical-related activities, emotions are just tamed, and not transcended... Insensitivity to emotions makes the clear-distinction when outward-appearance tends to be deceptive about a person being 'professional', like in the case of a person who takes care of a body or ensures that it gets fully-consumed at a funeral pyre!

That branding of a person as 'good' , as long as it is based on 'utilitarian-objective' and yet the focus is fully-subjective, defeats the very objective of 'being a human' being! Animals do not distinguish other life forms, whether of their own kind or the different ones as 'good and bad'.. .. they just respond 'appropriately' to their respective nature (we do the same with a cockroach!).. ... Somewhere we happen to complicate the complexity-potential of a human-form, and therefore the 'need' to brand a person as 'good or bad' to suit our own 'objectives'! A classic example is about the 'confusion' prevalent regarding the 'branding' of two popular characters of recent history... One is Mahatma Gandhi, and the other is his 'assassin'! Not many would have 'experienced' Krishna as a 'good-person' till the whole story of Mahabharata became an 'epic-story' for people! This 'confusion' is symbolised amazingly, though quite indicatively, when Gandhari decided to pronounce a curse on Krishna after the battles and the war was over, and soon after that irreversible curse, she found herself in an inextricable abyss of emotion!

Those who 'expected' me to be 'good' must have felt thoroughly let down, when I abruptly got drawn into a kind-of-silence, and as a consequence, the entertainment value of my blogs disappeared so suddenly... Others find a respite, of course!

Spiritually yours,

psn(8th March, 2015)

Perception about perception

“I was in two minds, whether to go for that movie or do finish this job!”...

A friend said this to me, as a matter of loud thinking...

I was not 'asked' to do a third-umpiring here... It was obvious...

So, I thought, just listen... just suno..

But that wouldn't be so!

We are so used to 'jumping' into conclusions about anything and every thing!... Our eye glances across the drawing room very casually, while the mind is 'otherwise' busy...

But, if there is some strange object somewhere across this 'glance-range'... the eye would stop... a sudden brake! What is that now?...

Unless, the memory keeps providing a label for every object seen at some 'X' frames per milliseconds, the eye cannot proceed further to the next object!

Even such a jumping-mind, happened to oblige me by asking me to look at the 'third' somebody inside that friend who can 'talk' about two minds (one saying, 'movie-yaar', the other saying, 'nope! Duty first!')...

I cannot talk to him aloud now... His focus, his attention, his alertness, his skill, his perception, his awareness, are all looking at the choices given by his 'two minds'!..

That caught me trapped into the very concept of 'perception'.. His perception is going to let him decide which of the two minds he has to listen to!

Today, I happened to 'comment' to a friend, looking at her reply to yet another response-reply...

There was a mention about 'perception'...

That lady did appreciate my 'comment'...

I was tempted to 'depreciate' that appreciation.. But no! Wrong timing! Not exactly a 'bad' timing.. It was 'right' timing for her (again, only a guess of mine, as always, and it is so too!)..

Only that, the choice and manner of depreciation that occurred looked a little 'mischeavous' and therefore I shelved it for the time being.. ... What occurred was, very briefly stated, just this: 'Madam, a couple of years ago, the much more simplistic comments of mine happened to evoke far superior appreciations, and now, this one, .. a loaded-comment, gets a relatively nominal one?'

Several reasons are the factors, and going into each of them, and then a 'judicious' justification, demands a 'steady-perception', with an equanimous-ly poised intellect, logic, reasoning and emotion!

And so I decided not to voice that mischief..

Yet, my own 'comment' seemed quite interesting to me, like some material churned out of a 'manthan'... Yes, 'manthan' is itself a 'churning'.. The material looked like an observation of this 'perception about perception'...

This was the comment:

“"then you would know your perceptions about him are wrong ."

Oh!
If we 'also' try to look at the 'impersonal' aspect of this observation, the benefits are quite immense!
It has always been... 'how good are my perceptions'... which was a matter of great concern for me..
If we observe keenly, the life-style of ancients, (and yes.. if we like, even comparing with our present day style... and while observing, if we try to cross-verify as to what this style would do to enhance or deepen the perception, then may be .. even our perception about 'perception' might improve! (for clarity sake, let us see , "why this 'perception' should matter?" Our life itself depends heavily on our sensory levels of perception... the moment few or even one of them weakens too badly, we become 'eligible' as differently-abled! The other way, when somebody is a little above average, just the perception, nothing more than that... this person is 'deemed' to be skilled! A misconception! A person who can hear sub-sonic/ultra sonic, is not necessarily skilled!.. A disabled person might in fact do better about acquiring a skill, being too-conscious of lesser-than-aamAadmi-wala perception!)...
Back to ancient life-style, vis-a-vis present day... Does our life-style, the deployment of these gadgets, etc, deepen our perception? Does our life-style even 'persuade' or remind us to focus towards 'perception'? Here comes the factor 'alertness'! A new bride, who was 'used-to-luxury' struggles to 'focus' for too long on that milk-pot on the stove, when asked to make sure that it does not spill over! This focus, is enhanced due to 'alertness' of a bride hailing from a very poor family, where she had to do several things simultaneously, among which milk-spilling is non-affordable due to poverty! That is where the 'choice of choosing' plays a significant role... Intelligent use of gadgets, and an addiction to gadgets, creates a distinction, and it is therefore that 'technology' need not be blamed! If we look at those epic stories, we find that just-a-few had used 'technology' a bit heavily, while the bulk-majority remained simplistic in their life-style! Pushpaka vimana was a sophisticated bit of gadget (if we go by the story-value!)... Those 'so-called' siddhi's were about 'manipulation'.. of basic 5 elements, whether in a raw form, material form, animated-in-life form or own-structure-form!... Still, it was not 'counted' for 'marks' in the spiritual arena ,, unless, accompanied by the alignment of the person concerned with 'cosmic-tune' (that sur-asur wala distinction.. The asuras were better equipped technologically, and often lesser evolved on spiritual arena .. asur--- 'out-of-sync'...!)..

A typical example we see, when bulk of the people read the very same words, sentences .. of the same person, whether it is blogs or comments... And yet the 'formed-opinion' is so diverse! Then, is it not obvious, that perception plays such an important role? Now, a bundle of such perceptions, slowly snowballing into a very strong opinion.... and such-opinion further becoming like a 'set-concrete' to stay firm for a length of time... what would be the effort for a reversal process, to get back to a proper 'sync'? It is an arduous task, if the 'condition/stipulation' is that "this-very-concrete-block" has to be your basic-tool, to work your way out!!!

psn”

It sets the ball rolling!

Peculiarly yours,

psn 31st January, 2015

Nonreply@

Some of us do not need to read the last few sentences of an email, which usually carries this user-id...

The bulk of my earlier blogs at blogspot dot com met this fate, when people look at the whole blog as a 'nonreply@' (this trend still continues with those few to whom, I am addicted to send these blogs to their id's as a group!)

I felt it amazing that people at 'speaking tree' somehow made it into a place resembling a social networking platform! Obviously, the bulk of the 'responses' would end up only 'taking-after' such a pattern! We don't need to look at its attributes, when we are into a spiritual-oriented inquiry.. Mere observation might take us a little further!

When this no element of any compulsion of any kind, and yet we feel like doing something, the incidental benefits are going to be of some spiritual significance! When these benefits even are subtle and quite slow to accrue, the significance would be ever evasive! Somewhere, I guess, a choice about choicelessness springs forth!

As a kid, the elders found it quite tough to get me interested into doing something that they liked me to do... “Studies” was one such item! Now-a-days, this word 'studies' has faded out a little.. Scores and marks are reference points.. I tried to verify, as to why I am not keen about 'studies'... The help for studies was vested entirely with teachers, who never impressed me that they knew what they are teaching! And text books don't reply to 'our' specific questions... That settled the issue for me! Now, it was only about complying with conditions of survival...

There were a few, in fact very few, who noticed as my elders, that I could do well with almost anything, that I was interested to do... But, unfortunately, what ever that I got interested was of not any interest to the elders, and it included even items, about my interests-of-well-being... I could see clearly and early enough too, that I am never going to make it any good in my life (career oriented outlook-wise, of course)..

I was now turning to look at 'why I do, what I do?'... There seemed to be not much 'leads/clues' to find out... I was able to focus on anything available in the situation outside... For instance, my timing while going towards my school was reliable.. I was always one hour ahead of first bell (same with work place too)... but while returning home, I turned quite erratic . That sense of timing was only the starting hours of next working day (school or work).. So punctuality was not exactly a trait. What exactly 'used to hold me on to' remained a nonreply@ kind of search!

It is only years later that I discovered, something deep within caught my attention (call it a luck or whatever), and now, other things did not seem to matter much.. Involvement became a side-benefit, a by-product... Oh! I felt, that something deep within, that nonreply@ wala id user, is to remain elusive and evasive, despite its 'pronounced' hold on me...! And maybe, therefore that it took quite some time, for me to get 'interested' into 'structured-tools' available to experience the closeness to that anonymous-but-persistent chaser within! The sense of involvement that kept me engaged in sundries, came quite handy, and the appreciation had to wait till I was able to notice others struggling at what I got by default! The funny part was, the psychological aspects of the entire structure of 'teaching' came as a subject of observation for me while others were/got subjected to it!

I was wondering if we would turn to think of our routine activities, and classify them a bit judiciously, into things we do not out of any kind of compulsion/addiction/craving/desire/etc... and those that we do under compulsion like our Tax-deducted-at-source (TDS)... And if we are persuaded to try out a few things, doing it, just as an experiment to see what the 'very doing' is going 'to do' to us, maybe ... some 'deep assets' get a chance to gain significance in our 'life'!

Co-Respondingly yours,

psn (25th January, 2015)

Contrast seeking seeker

“This is all we can do for you..” said that kind lady, and stretched out a coarse cloth containing a 'good-measure' of freshly harvested 'pigoen pea'...!

'Good measure' is a fuzzy logic, when too much of quantifying spoils the 'grace' and beauty of a gesture... But for patrons of hard logic, it must be a litre...

She hailed from a very humble village, and this year their crop in the small piece of land was 'toor-daal' (I guess, that is what 'educated-gentlemen' mean by 'pigeon pea')... She had a kid of school going age, and the 'measure' of their poverty was visible when the longer-drooping one leg of his half-trousers ensured a 'catch of attention' that tailoring was 'home-made' (stitching charges saved!).

That kid used to ask me 'doubts' in his school lessons, often, and the mom did not know 'how to repay' for the help... It is their timidity accentuated by sheer poverty that magnified the insignificant small tips I gave to that kid when he struggled with a few English words here and there, or got stuck at an 'equation' which seemed 'unequal' at the problematic levels that the teacher dictated it as 'home-work'!

It was a week end and the mom and son felt, 'let us go to the village' to meet their family.. The family squeezed their stomach a little further to 'fund' the cost of school education of their kid, the first hero to see 'literacy'! I was amazed at the 'amount' of sacrifice the parents, the in-laws, etc of that lady decided upon, when they told her, “you go and take care of that kid, and let him become a 'matric' and let us see if education might lift us out of this poverty” (“Matric system” .. I chuckled, when I had seen 'seer' paav-seer, chataak, tolaa etc as a kid!... Education too might have become 'Matric' from rustic!)..

That is when I thanked my 'stars' (the employer-concern's customer concerns were depicted using a 'Star' as the emblem, and they added the caption 'You have a future under this Star'. And one of the major parameters to decide a 'good-staff' was a copy-paste knowledge of what the five pronged star 'stood' for, in its emblem, irrespective of whether we stood-for its customers or not! A copy-paste of HR concepts would only end up thus!)... I thanked my 'stars' that I managed to compromise for a not-so-good accommodation, when I landed into a 'job' at a small town, and staying at a lodge till-I-find a suitable accommodation on monthly rent was going to be costly-for-me!

Thus, while a bachelor, the earliest find was just a room of some 8 by 8 feet... One wall was originally a compound wall with random rubbles... (the ones used for 'foundation' below ground level... Architecturally, 'RR's –random rubbles-- are supposed to be more-strong, since they lock into each other, and the bonding is like a made-for-each-other couples, rare among thousands!).. To me, it looked like a wonderful tool to scratch my back, like those donkeys do when the itch is too-good, and hands wont reach the back!).. The roof was of plain corrugated tin... so rain makes all possible kinds of orchestrated music, with larger drops taking shorter jumps, to give tweet-effects!

The rent was 'within poverty range'.. and that is how, this mom and son pair took courage to consult their 'neighbour', for the school lessons-help!

The aroma of freshly-harvested dal, took me by surprise! Never before had I enjoyed such unique fragrance!.. I felt a 'deep' reverence towards that lady! It was a total contrast between our attitude of 'offer and acceptance' (contract-law terms.. please!).. She felt embarrassed about a 'dal' as some compensatory allowance for 'knowledge' that was beyond their reach for generations! I felt deep gratitude for gifting me mother-earths love and affection uncorrupted by manures from chemicals and pesticides garnished over it!...

I decided to reciprocate their gesture of this aromatic daal... I further slow-boiled a large-measure (this time, the 'measure' relates to cooked-stuff, on a meal-plate, not the container-dabba !)..

I pounded red chillies, a bit gently, ending the smack with a gentle grind-effect, so that the thin membrane of that chilli gets elongated a little (as a kid, I had seen other kids place a 10 paise coin on the rails, just before a train rides over the rails, and after the train has zoomed past, the ten paise coin enlarges its circle, and leaves only traces of markings that it was once-upon-a-time, called 10 paise.. like the 4th carbon copy of a pencil scribbling!)... such chilli flakes (mirchi ki Bhukni, if I am not wrong about Hindification), sprinkled over steaming dal, on a porcelain plate, arrests the escape of dal's aroma, while garnishing it with that 'freshly released aroma of a chilli'...

Another half of the 'large measure' of cooked dal, I treated it with 'green chilli' but the crushing/pounding, almost similar... The dal notices the contrast of a young-spouse's scolding, and his mother's scolding (chilli's are suppose to taste-hot..!)...

The other items like Bishop's weeds, cumin etc... roasted on ghee smear, the turmeric spray of color, NaCl.. etc.. made the dal multi-designed in appearance and appeal... I timed their breakfast, and made that 'presto' appearance to present two small plates (actually, it was the saucer, with no extra plates with me to do any 'styled-presentation'!)...

When I saw that small plant yielding green colored 'Kashmiri-Mirchi' at our front-yard, I was reminded of this incident, and relived that 'love-for-a-contrast' stage of life!

Meditative practices do not offer any 'spicy' contrasts to appease our ever-taste-chasing mind , and therefore the 'sessions' look like a life-time-prisoner's diet thrice a day, 30 years, confined to a dark cell, spells of silence, and a rice-gruel to eat, whose taste presents a thoroughly-familiar-feel, even by its memory, or a sight from a distance, at the hands of that jailer! Once this 'contrast-seeking' gets subdued, the core of all this drama, the nothingness, takes over all the entertainment programs, leaving us with eternally-lasting data-base of joy-data!.. Then on, the outside contrasts are like optional-pickles, even trickles would do!

Drastically yours,

psn (16th January, 2015)

Parasitical approach

“We need not 'reinvent' the wheel now...”

I heard it as an adult... not when I was a kid!

But I heard the opposite of it, when a kid. It was a 'brilliant' teacher! Somewhere in between the lessons, that teacher made a very very 'casual' reference to the 'need' for 'reinventing' the wheel!

I guess, it was sheer good-fortune, that made me, that nudged me... to 'keep' this advice as a very deep embedded design of my mind itself! To this day, I worship that teacher, whose face does not visit me too often (in my memory), but the feel of that teacher's being never seems to have 'ever' forsaken me!... And thanks to 'Maya Madam', one more teacher gave a hint, and it was his inspiration that helped me score a unprecedented score in 'jurisprudence' when I was a law-student.. He said, a 'law is better understood, if we imagine the situation in the absence of such a law'!!! Yesss... it does rhyme with 'reinventing the wheel'! The concepts get embedded a lot more deeper, and then, if by any chance we end up tied into a verbal conflict before a judge in the court of law, interpretation of statutes would take us to 'step into the shoes' of the very framers of the legislation!

I asked a very close person, 'what is an itthi-kanni? (itthi kanni, is a 'malayalam' word for parasite creeper that thrives on huge trees... usually 'cared about' in a mango tree, because its very presence sounds an 'alarm' in a farmer... it means, next year the yield would deteriorate, along with taste and quality!)... That person explained! “Good,” I said, and continued “now, what is a cancerous growth?”... That person could 'get' .. what I am 'getting-to' (say)... and said, “Well same thing... a parasite/an-itthi-kanni on a human body!”... I was not prepared to be 'pleased' so soon! Even a parasitical mind can solve these queries!

“Then what about a mind, that survives, thrives like that parasite?”... I tried... making it as gentle as possible (that person is going to immediately become 'defensive' within the mind!... We know why!)...

I left it at that, not waiting for a reply...

What happens, when we approach 'spirituality' with a parasitical mind?

Let me try out with examples of the 'way' our people narrate the epic stories...

Most popular ones are 'Ramayana' and 'Mahabharata'...

We know, minus the main heroes, Rama and Krrishh... these stories are going to mean nothing (it would be almost like the black & White news reel, which was 'compulsory' in our Indian Cinema houses, even long after 'kalarr/colour' fillum/film .. 'came'!)...

We get to hear a 'lot' about character of Krishna, and the bulk of it consists of 'critical analysis' about his character! It does appeal! Our mind would say, “yahan tou ek ladki ke peeche pado, tou 'mostly'... vaat lag jaata hai... aur woh tou dus centuries ka score leke ghoomta phirtaa hai!”...

And , almost nothing about the actions of our Krish, rhymes with what he tries to suggest to others, (advices)...

When it comes to Rama... there is not 'so-much' of a controversy.. ... It is almost 'deducible' that he was a 'Yeda' at times... forsaking his 'good' wife, merely because some stupid+irresponsible fellow spread some rumour somewhere, so-casually, in the midst of washing 'other's' dirty linen in 'public'! Or there can be a slight controversy, that he was not 'so-upright'... when he hid/stood behind a tree, and shot at Vaali, the death-arrow! Very few would 'think' of the subtle aspect that no 'human life' was lost from 'his-side',....in that big-war against Ravana! Monkey-army! Simpal/simple!

A very close person sent a 'forward' to me (not with a parasitical-approach, for sure, at least this one time!.. He must have been a little 'concerned' to see, if that material was worth it!.. It was 'drafted' by a person very close to him...). It contained an analysis (an attempt), about incidents where Krrishh did things that did not look 'exactly-ethical'! Like, beheading of Bhishma using a woman as a shield... hinting the vulnerable spot to injure Duryodhana... conniving the exit of his brother out of the 'great' war... sacrificing the demon-son of Bhima... even as 'bad' as placing his own army on the other side of the battle!

I did not try to 'explain' the secret-phenomenon behind each of these instances, trying to bring out the mystic-aspect, by way of justification! It would not only be a futile attempt, but a 'too-laborious' exercise too!

But, it did make me wonder! How come, the 'bulk' of modern 'story-tellers' end up with such an approach, where these stories end up churning out a very wrong result? It merely evokes more-confusions, instead of evoking trust?

That was where I felt, may be the very 'approach' of the mind is perhaps, a flawed one! It is much safer to dwell upon character analysis of a 'Raama', than to try and 'do a dissection' on the 'actions' of Krishna! The 'why-so' is a bit difficult to explain... We do not find too many 'quotes' authored by Raama... He just lived a certain way... It is up to us to find use of that 'style', for ourselves.

Krish, on the other hand, was quite charitable with advices, suggestions etc... (not that it was quite easy to 'understand' what he said... but, to understand his 'style' through his actions, is far more complex, if not complicated!)

I shall reproduce my reply (a part of it), to that friend, who had forwarded the 'finnesse or manipulator' wala article, about Krishh...

quote:

“That is perhaps the problem.. "It is just a character analysis of Krishna, with reference to Krishna as a human being!"

The stories give ample clues, that Ravana got a concession, to be killed only by a 'human-being', and hence Raama!

Krishna is to be understood, (as elders/ancients suggest), with a little bit of 'Krishna-ness' in us....

This is true even about the 'quotes' that we get to see as said by Krishna...

Usually, Rama's quotes are not too many (Rama doesn't seem to have 'assumed' any advisory role, where as Krishna never seemed to have 'assumed' any exemplary role!)...

psn” (unquote)...

It is so easy to 'observe' the Valour of a brave soldier when he dons the uniform and fights in a 'declared' and open war, aamne saamne... where as, it is difficult to appreciate a spy from the same army who 'infiltrates' into enemy country, and does a much more difficult job, and mostly, dies as an unsung hero!

I am now tempted to remind ourselves... whether a 'parasitical-approach' would do any good on a spiritual path? I 'guess'... perhaps, Aadi Shankara felt the 'need' for a reminder about such parasitical approach towards scriptures... one of the slokas in Viveka choodamani does dwell upon the futility of such-approach.. the few slokas of BhajaGovindam too hints towards this.. (but sadly, it only evokes 'more-controversy' in the present day!)...

Even in the west, a very famous philosopher (Objectivistism), made a reference to 'second-handers'... I was amazed! I felt an 'awe' at such beautiful understanding about the 'true' potential of a 'human' mind... It is entirely an another matter that this person did not 'make-it' further into spirituality, having reached the very 'edge' of it, as far as logic would take it! (Perhaps, the death and the manner of it, of that great person, is a testimony for that!)...

It is not that we the common people are entirely 'oblivious' to the subtle difference! A very close friend of mine, does mention at times, about my 'original' approach in some of my blogs (probably, he is too fed-up with that sour taste of going through 'copy-paste' materials too often!... When it is about 'sour taste'... we might, 'tolerate' or even 'like', .... the sourness of butter milk stored for too long, but not that of a rotten vegetable which has outlived its shelf-life! )

Parasitically yours,

psn (9th January, 2015)

Nuisance Value

“Who is it, who is looked at as a nuisance by everybody here?” I asked a colleague...

He blinked...

He knew me well, and also therefore knew, what 'nuisance' would mean...

I waited for a while, and then gave one more clue.. “The whole of the school too regards this person as a nuisance”

“Some times, it is the clue that 'adds' to the confusion, rather than offering even that 'seemingly-help'” he ricocheted (rebounded)..

“Then, the third clue, none other than me myself” I volunteered....

He smiled.. But did not really take courage to spell it out.

I said, “auditors”...

They are the ones who are 'licenced to create nuisance” (like the James Bond wala licence-to-kill)..

The inspector of schools, would ask a timid-looking boy, who was never a problem to the teacher (“who cares whether you understood the lesson or not...”... was the composure of the teacher-ji, but the inspector picks that boy, asks a question, and it is the name of the teacher that gets written in his 'nuisansical' notebook!)....

Unless of course, our perception affords a deeper look, and also our acceptance is prepared to widen the door a little more-open!

When a kid, my dad would 'declare' (like a foreigner declares his goods to the customs official),

'My son'...

and that elder across the opposite seat would start looking at me quite intently! (train journey)...

I could not find an 'apt expression' for what I found to be his 'style of look' at me, till I became a lettered-being... Then I found the word.. 'a patent examiner'..!!!

That elder is not even interested in the KYC norms of my dad, not even his name.. Perhaps, he takes a fancy for only the latest models! He is not a nuisance to me... He is a 'concurrent-auditor', when my dad keeps saying this to almost all strangers, who manifest their quality time and leisure to spend on 'something to do'... ('quite funny', I felt as a kid, ..'these elders never pay attention to our-time, when we are having an 'abundance' of that quality time?.. we kids have to become resourceful-unto-ourselves, when they just say, 'Jao-kelo'.. and it is up to us to find the 'how to', with no gadgets in the vicinity?'

Not for long... I grew up... Now as a 'grown-up' (not exactly an 'adult'), I could see a manifest form of what 'never gets mentioned' !!!

Yes.. We do 'hear' about a 'blank answer paper' when a kid doesn't know a single answer..

But if the question paper is blank?

That is what the 'look' of the other stranger tries to tell me, when he keeps staring into my face as a co-passenger in a train or bus journey.. (now, it is quite different.. ears are plugged, and they call it 'hearing' to music).

This blank-look is full of questions, but I am unable to read them, any of them... That is when I .. perhaps, could conceive of 'non-verbal-thoughts'... I try to label it with 'wonder-look' but there is nothing 'wonderful' in his/her eyes! Just a blank-look! (Some people who cannot stand such stare, do ask “Yeh ghoor-ghoor ke kya dekh rahe ho?”.. and they know, there 'cannot-be' any answer... only a nuisance-value, by that look!)..

Early questions of a kid are looked at as 'mere nuisance value' by elders who are pre-occupied with lots of worries!

If only they 'happened to'... take a look at their own 'worry-list'... they would have sighted quite a few of 'nuisance-value-only' type of worries!

Wonder-element within us waits...!

When that wonder is allowed to awaken... spirituality ceases to be looked at as some kind of a nuisance value!

Till then, all our 'search' , questions, answers.. why, even our copy-pastes, mutual-benefit-schemes of wah-wah'... all these are mere 'nuisance management skills'... (like spending more time to learn 'time-management' and running out of time-itself!.. fund-management, its 'flow-management' etc..)

nuisansically yours,

psn (5th January, 2015)

Exit route sighted or not?

“No use trying that exit window” announced my friend, taking a look at the 'decently built' person seated close to that window.... (we don't insult people calling them 'fat' .. instead we say , 'they eat well'!).

Yes, I too felt, 'no use trying that window, in case of an emergency! Being nearest to the window, he has the 'first-charge' on the asset called 'emergency exit' and then, neither he nor anyone else would wriggle out!...' .. We often define an 'emergency' to almost mean it as an explanation to our confusion itself! Jaldi-jaldi mei ho gaya... Now, the blame is on the 'emergency' for any errors of omission/commission! And it is perhaps therefore that we seldom 'emerge' out of an emergency so successfully! Our 'preparations' usually are during the last minute, and our life-style is itself a 'crisis-management'! Spirituality becomes an inevitable last choice, when spirit fails to exit early, and nothing other than the spirit is properly-functional, and the health issues are outsourced to the nearest medical shop!

As a kid, I used to watch that soda-bottle being held 'properly' when others manage to pour that liquid into their mouth with upturned bottle each time, and I would struggle, waiting in vain, like that chakor pakshi!... The exit-route is blocked, by that marble at the neck of the soda-bottle! The bottle has to be inclined in only one particular direction so that the marble slides into a slot nearby, and does not block the exit-route of the soda when we gulp from it, the upturned bottle!

Good companies, clearly mention the 'exit-option' while soliciting investments.. ...

I remember a very honest confession, when a foreigner chose to give the feed back only after safe-landing back at his country, though it was merely about the taste of a dish at our host's lunch table, and he said, 'It was good, and so spicy that it got acknowledged at both ends!' (They too are quite conscious of a silk-smooth exit-route!).

The fat gathers in us, and does not find an exit route... we force it through an in-built incinerator (work-out), and it seeks double the replenishments later! And when it is something 'sweet' that evades an exit-door, it chooses to be the last one to walk out, ensuring 'life' itself as the penultimate one... ( a life-time friendship indeed!)..

I did notice, it is only the lights beneath/behind/under/(or, whatever!) ..... the word 'Exit' that is never switched off inside the movie auditorium (cinema theatre), when all other lights are switched off, soon after the news reel is over and the movie begins! (Oh yes, the 'modern' among the old movie theatres do have a blinker-clock at a harmless corner, as a 'fashion', and just in case, somebody is too bored likes to look at 'exit' route a little earlier! But leaving the theatre early is never looked at as an 'attempted-suicide', a cognizable-offence, like when we leave our 'real-life-drama-stage' before time!.. But now, when 'majority' started attempting an early-exit, it is the law that was needed to be changed, not the 'attitude' or tendency! Whereas, when employees become a 'flab', the doors for an exit are re-christened as 'golden-handshake', instead of the already-posh-name of 'voluntary-retirement'... It is the exodus of people who left early, that got into the minds of those who were late, and they too quite inadvertently referred to their own exit routes as “VRS”, instead of bare 'VR'.. the schematic pattern got embedded into the mind, with no exit-route!... Same problem as that sweet-build-up... some things stay unto the last! Oh yes, the mind gathers so much of an overdose that when we try to purge it, that is when it does the blow-up job! Exit doors never match its size...!

The contents of the mind, seldom ensures an exit-route, and instead it ensures a 'vestibuled entry' if at all needed, as/for a change of 'class'! Oh! What an idea sir jee! And now, the mind has to slim itself out, no exit route for it...(A 'divorce' option does not work as an 'exit-route', and instead, it just diversifies! Maybe that is why, the ancients did not 'provide' that 'divorce' even ritualistically/etc!)... And either it is a wholesale-style, or a retail-option... While the slimming process is initiated consciously, the entry-routes get widened... subscription is 'free' as always... the mind subscribes to new ideas.. that is where spiritual masters ensure that the body offers the least of problems, while the sensory perceptions are tamed to get withdrawn consciously!

I somehow got into that 'seeking mode' of exit routes, the right-ways, the right kind, the right-routes, right from the childhood, and it did come handy on a pathless path (when the path itself is pathless, where is the entry or exit route with-in sight?!!!)

Exitingly yours,

(Excitingly or otherwise,)

psn 3rd January, 2015)

Being practically non-hypocritical!

Ek baat maro samajh naahi aavai..! (I don't understand one thing...  )

Why do we call being 'practical' as hypocrisy?

Achha...  achha!   We need to 'show', we know the meaning of hypocrisy too!

It almost sounded like that!

I got one “forward”
The person who sent it would call it as 'sent' by him, though it was even 'initially-initated' as a 'forward' to him too (Hypocracy?...  Never!  See, we talk of 'initiation here'!)...

But I was a little 'backward'!  I could not grasp the sanctity of a forward!

I responded, with a scent (oops!...  it was a 'sent'..  but a fish like me, smells even if cleaned in ganges 24 X 7, leaving me to swim in that holy-river!)...

I would not like to copy-paste what I 'sent'...  but it is socially acceptable with 'forwards' of any kind, when we are trying to be 'democratically-equal' with backwards too! (Any thing that 'sounds' democratic...  has to be within the 'over-all-framework' of constitution...  and I guess, when we grant a Bharat Ratna to Shri Ambedkar Ji, it is we, who get the licence to 'liberally-quote' constitution as-we-like!)...

Arey yeh sab 'practical' nahi tou aur kya hai?

A 'sapoot' of a friend lived like a fiend with that kid...
And that kid, tried to be non-hypocratical, when it came to 'registration' of marriage...  He insisted, it would be after the ceremony, ...  doesn't matter if the visa gets delayed (jyaada details ki bhi zaroorat nahi...   we 'practically' know...  !)...  A close relative tried to say, 'Be practical!'...  Nahi sunaa woh!
Arey!
Tata ke ghar Ambaani,
Birla ke ghar Beimaani... (oops!  Saari sorry...  rhyming ke mood mei isaa bol diya)..
thode hi paida hota hai?

Bewakoof baap, yeda beta (that was that fiend-friend and his bitwaa)...

Khair...
We have to move forward, towards that forward...  (being practical!)


Number ek:
quote:
“Hypocrisy defines us Indians the best.  It is over 24 hours since the killings that have taken 68 lives so far.... Out of which 33 are women n children... and there's not a single message on WhatsApp or fb condemning the heinous act.  Face book is full of people going berserk thanking all n sundry n telling everyone how great a year it has been so far for them.
I'm part of a number of groups. .. Some of them very intellectually gifted like this one and I'm sad to note that even in this group nothing so far. ..zilch!
Isn't assam part of India?  We all were very quick in condemning the killing of children in Pakistan. .. Because there was a lot of media glare on it.  Since the media is also not focusing on the assam killings we all are also not bothered by it.
Frankly I'm more concerned about what happens in India.  To hell with Pakistan... There. ..I have said it. ..I don't care what happens to Pakistani citizens. ... I'm more concerned about what happens to Indians.
People. .. Pl circulate this message and condemn the ethnic cleansing that is going on in assam.... spread awareness to stop it. .. Let's show our concern for Indians too!!!

unquote:

Quietly (chup-chaap), I would forward...  was the expectation!
But ,
there was a saying...
“Problem with telling a good wit is that it reminds the other fellow of a dull-one!”

I responded with an opening remark (of course a nasty one, I know!)
Number doe(2):
quote:
P S Narayanan: These, are ironies. ? Or hypocrisy - side - effect?
Quote:
"Indian Ironies:
1) We'd rather spend more on daughters wedding than on her education.
2) We live in a country where seeing a policeman makes us nervous rather than feeling safe
3) In IAS exam, a person writes a brilliant 1500 words essay about how Dowry is a social evil. Impresses everyone and cracks the exam.
One year later same person demands a dowry of 1 crore, because he is an IAS officer.
4) Indians are very shy and still are 121 Crore.
5) Indians are obsessed with screen guards on their smartphones even though most come with scratch proof Gorilla Glass but never bother wearing a helmet while riding their bikes.
6) Indian Society teaches
'Not to Get Raped',  rather  'Don't Rape' !
7) The worst movies earn the most- Happy New Year
8) A porn-star is accepted in society as a  celebrity, but a rape victim is not even accepted as a normal human  being.
9) Politicians Divide us, Terrorists Unite us
10) Everyone is in a hurry, but no one reaches on time
11) Priyanka Chopra earned more money playing Mary Kom, than Mary Kom earned in her entire career.
12) Its dangerous to talk to strangers, but it's perfectly ok to marry one
13) Most people who fight over Gita and Quran, have probably never read any of them
14)The shoes we wear are sold in air Conditioned showrooms, the vegetables we eat are sold on the footpath..
unquote:


We were hypocritical, since long ago, when we did not 'pass down' the chants for that 'divorce' ....

So, we had that starting-trouble!
Fortunately, courts have come to our rescue...  it is a two-way traffic here , now.   Not that male-dominated 'three-times-chants'  of some places!

By the way, a genuine, sincere, honest doubt for me, in me, and from me...  (nothing to do with my own dear hypocrisy...  I mean)..
Statistically, who excels the score...  seeking divorce..   Masculinety or famininety? (I know, it is risky to quote 'actual-gender'...   non-bailable offence...  and even Shri Ambedkar ji's constitution would help..  he was quite healthy when he was around!)..

Practically yours,
psn(27th December, 2014)


But,
not willing to 'entirely give up' my hypocricy (of not pasting what I replied etc.. on whatsapp)..
let me copy-paste, a part of what I said...

My hypocricy says, . 'call it ' as post-script:
quote:
“1.The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.
2. An act or instance of such falseness.
....
When I say "we" as nation, are hypocrisy-wala....  my private share in it "feels" a little cleansed!
But spirituality doesn't "actually" object such-hypocrazy.... Instead, it evades.... 
Finish all kinds of "mind-games", then come...!

Learning to say Thank You

Of late, the fashion seems to have faded out.. 'saying : “Thanking you in anticipation, yours faithfully”... and the advice was, to use these phrases, 'especially' to government officials, who turn down a request, quite whimsically, with no one around to question them! Power is in their hands (not just discretion, or the sanctioning authority... raw power!)... So, thank you is a 'caution-deposit' and non-refundable!

I would try to dramatise, and imagine, as to how this 'anticipation-wala-thankyou' would have taken birth?

Next door uncle: “Beta... yeh lo... chaak-late/chocolate... khaa jao... eato/eat”

Kid: stares blank, for a while, and even blinks!

Dad: “le lo uncle pyaar se de rahe hain..”

(Kid, wonders,... chocolate wrapper ke andar sirf chocolate hota hai.. yeh pyar kahaan include hai packing mei?)... but anyway, he blurts.. “Tan-kooo”..

Now there is no shortage of any 'interpretor'... Dad, “Thank you bol raha hai... bachha hai na!” (now, whatever it means, that.. 'bachha hai na'... if it were an adult, 'you had it'!!!)

Next day, the same 'next'door wala uncle...

The kid is looking at his palms... it is open! No chocolate! Jaane doe... But what about 'tan-koo'?, he wonders!... Aaj kal, advance payment ka procedure aa gaya hai kya?...

By chance, if that kid says, a 'tan-koo'... no chocolate... still a tan-koo... woh uncle ka baaja baj gaya.. KOoooo.. he doesn't know what to do with that 'bribe after retirement?'

We teach 'gratitude' + 'humility'... like we teach, 'Beta don't fall' when we find suddenly that this kid has climbed up a tall tree, and calls 'de-ko'/de-kho/whatever... We do not have the knees and bones to climb up and rescue... we are shy of calling 'fire-service' (they have that-kind-of-ladder, though there is no 'actually-fire' or a 'duplicate-fire'..!)... We shout: Beta, don't fall... do-not-fall! (shaayad, at that height,, he can't read that coma after the “don”, the don-'-t ...).. He does not know how to give-effect to the command, 'do not fall'! It feels almost like that empty-thank you! Bol tou diya hai... (kuch hua kya?.. abhi tou nahi.. abhi tou nahi.. wala song!)..

Instead, .. may be, something like “Hold tight”.. he, knows, 'exactly' what to do... he keeps-holding tight, not waving Ta-Ta... Birla etc.. As a consequence, that 'don't fall' is ato-matic/automatic... Later, he might even remember, and feel gratitude, “Hey bhagwaan, aap ne sirf ek baap hi nahi, usko thoda sa brain bhi diya hai!” (warna... bulk of upadesh, would be 'unable to carry out wala... Matru devo bhava... the pitaaji says, treat-mom-as-God?.. Arey! I feel like mata-ko-devour bhawa... she keeps shifting blame for even her own forgetfulness on me!.. Even the dad has not seen a God, and here he is giving upadesh, treat-mom-like-God?.. even the prashaad, has to be mom-manufactured, not me... gas lighter ko haat nahi lagaana, is the warning... aur mujhe paanv/leg se sulgaana aata hi nahi!)...

The kid grows... Somewhere, he learns... either of the two things.... This humility is a mere show-business, and unless, there is a useless/meaningless-Thank you.. it cannot sail through into that other-fellow's brain!.. Another possibility: A bit rare one.. He understands, that he-understands-the-hollowness of such a Tan-koo... and this 'understanding of such-understanding' was due to a human birth! He feels grateful to rab/uparwala/whatever! (By now, he is sure,, the dad and mom are just yet-another-assembly of machines that manufactured him, and not their skill, in his birth!)... Possibly, he evolves, and deepens his perception... He becomes aware of of 'beings' who even refuse to show any 'id-proof'.. and yet they support him, during his empty-cup-wala-state, during meditations, usually! Now a 'new kind of 'thank you' that doesnt seem to really suffice, a new sense of gratitude, that seems too tiny.. so the question of 'email-id' doesn't even arise... Maybe a few tears roll down!..

He tries to share.. Most likely that others mock, saying, 'You hallucinate'... He doesn't protest... He humbly says, 'Maybe you are right!.. I might have merely hallucinated...”... He checks within... He is not too-sure.. But, it works! If fortunate, it 'occurs to him'.. this hallucination, is a 'win-win' one.. the after effects do stay.. after-effects do not need a hefty-fee to a psychiatrist, in fact, it keeps me away from him!... The residues of 'common cases' of hallucination doesn't tally here!..

He goes on 'speculating' thus... And maybe, another problem of a new source of gratitude for him... But that is his problem, (though a fictional story of mine)!...

Fictionally yours,

psn (24th December, 2014)

What is emotion?

I asked.

It was a behtareen insaan/ a refined person....  (when it is a male, we call the post 'chairman', but when it a lady, we had-to make it as 'chairperson', as if a male is no more a 'person' when chaired!)..


Anyway, here I call it a 'person', because I do intend it to be 'personal' (be it about 'that' person, or others!)

What I did further was, to add, “please hold your answer for a while...   till you 'observe' what happens within, 'due' to the question, (assuming, that the mind now decides to look at it afresh!).


It is risky to ask an anger prone-person, “Sir/Madam, what is anger?” (the immediate 'second-track' within might 'also' be, something like “Now... now, now..   are you trying to prod(incite, jab..)?...  are you trying to 'teach'?...   get lost!!!”  And this person would even demonstrate a little visibly, even in-between that plastic-smile (like that 'reading-between-lines')...

An emotionally unstable person too would feel 'prodded' by such a question (what is emotion?)... the immediate impulse is, 'Hey, is he trying to provoke/invoke my instability?'...  (at least, with an 'anger-predominent one' we know, the texture of lava that would pour out of the volcano called 'anger'...  but with emotional instability...?  it is just 'anybody's guess'!)

By now, we would have felt the 'original question' to have subdued a little....  The mind has got busy with how questions which are quite 'impersonal' in its own exclusivity, but how we...  try to make it too-personal, often!  (that is what a mind is!)...  anyway...

Now I ask,  when we read/listen-to   this question (what is emotion?), “are we not trying to look within?” ..  Here we do not even try to find out the 'address' of  'where exactly—within?'...  the 'looking is instantaneous'.. ...  (and then what ever happens within is a world in itself, unique to each of us...  so no point comparing even!)...


question-ably yours,
psn (18th December, 2014)

Data Structure(for dummies)

I guess, that atleast in the spiritual arena , this title is not 'usurped' as yet (a polished way of saying usurped is perhaps, 'patented'!)...

Techies who happen to land on this narrative when they google for computerised data structure are going to really get annoyed, perhaps!

But, the whole of the 'struggle' , the bulk of the struggle, even on a spiritual path seems to relate with a 'study' about the 'data-structure' too...

We start with the 'best' data 'consciousness', 'soul, God, and such abstract terms, and keep looking for 'data'.. only then to study its structure!

The data thought to be 'now-useless' was lying as a scrap, junk, discarded, and perhaps even a cruel reminder of a 'total-failure'... A dog fiddled with that data, with its paws, and it made some noise... This noise caught the attention of that 'owner of failure'... He scrambled for that 'data', and now worked on the 'newly discovered' -- “structure”... of that data... the gramophone record... And the story says, that is how the dog perched up the non-data area of the records, as an 'icon' of 'Hum kisis se kam nahi' concept, when it is about structure-analysis of data, and we human's still insist on degrading that 'structure-analyst' with a caption “His Master's Voice”....!!!

The temple construction was not just about gathering some building material, stacking it properly (sole criteria, gravity-related-issues, or weather-turbulence... these two issue, we see better handled with the design of an aircraft!) and then doing some ritualistic practices, as a group... Even the stones were to contain a well-structured data... which would be 'responsive' (“inter-active” device, to say it in computer terminology!)... and the internal power storage needed to be replenished once in twelve years!

The wheel, is a structured data, improvised in its -interactive-functionality, when the raw data form did not 'mean-anything' hitherto... (Hither to, was quite a long period of time!)... So, was that sharp pointed stone as a potential weapon for the early 'data-structure' called stone-age-human! Otherwise, it was just 'random footprints in a vast data' of stones lying all over the forest.. This pointed-stone-data, the stone-age-human discovered, would deter that 'virus data' (the wild animal) from 'hacking' this 'automated-data' (the human, already starts to consider himself as self-automated!), and making a dent, to render the 'responsive-data-structure' (life), as dysfunctional, and then dissemble the re-usable parts (flesh), and add them as 'additional accessories'/replenishment/whatever, to its own structure (looks far-fetched?.. Well, ask any Goan, and he might narrate a story re-told often “Yes, years ago, St.Xavier's body was kept open, and can be touched even, by visitors.. but some visitor had tried to add to oneself a part of that Saint, and bit off quickly the big toe of one of his feet,, and now, it is kept in a glass box, for safe-preservation!”.

A look at our private library (or if it sounds too big a word, the 'collection of books'.. now calling it “collection”.. is a very safe term to classify the data-structure, without revealing our dishonesty, as to how that collection was undertaken--- forgot to return?, stolen?.. when these did not work, 'yes-bought-it'!... ).. a look at that dust ridden books-lot, would reveal our aptitude for data-collection!

Still worse, people who house a lot of data, in a tight-fight cubicle we call 'apart-ment' (though the data structure is about 'same-building'), find it easier to buy a new data, than search for the old one lying in the loft, forgotten where it is... just because we really did not care to look at the 'structure' of data (old-stuff, never used for the past more than 6 months!)....

Now, with super-gagdets, and high-speed connectivity, we 'sync' with 'apps' and keep repeating mutual-data-exchange, just because we don't know where to look for it within our own resources!

How about our own data-structure? Are we resourceful? Are we a receptive structure? Or shall we keep 'structuring' the external data resources, earning a tag, a living by that tag, etc?... Oh! That reminds me of another structure.. our “core”-O/s.. operating-system!... And the device to even take a look at it, they say 'witnessing aspect'... as if it is some 4-D-goggles (yet to come up on Googles)

Structurally yours

psn (17th December, 2014)

Insulation

The web meaning appeared to be a bit 'non-committal' about the functionality of its concept, as we would like to look at it when we try it on ourselves...

I went to that thick old dictionary, it offered a little more help though reluctantly “one who,, or that which, insulates” (not good enough!)... it further says, “a contrivance for insulating a conductor” (yes! This one offers to come a little closer!)

Now that 'contrivance' also indicates (something contrived, as a mechanical device or a clever plan)... Oh! A 'Clever-plan'... !

No wonder, when the “mind” decides to insulates itself, it does a really good job!

Just our electric cables, where the insulation is not to protect the 'energy' that flows through it, but to protect ourselves from that 'electrocution'!

Energetically yours,

psn (15th December, 2014)

Our Gestures!

A keen pair of eyes were sharply focused, waiting to see if there is a speck, a glimpse, or a spark of life in that body... It was a 'look out for a gesture'! That body, hopefully still holding some 'life' was 'all-for-gestures' and with a pair of eyes, having an admirable focus, enviable perhaps even by those that were now waiting too see that speck of life!

Some where in between language struggles to make a distinction, that it is 'really' a gesture too, but in a very 'round-about-way'!... And we create a separate folder called 'articulation' and store it there, for future comparison and ofcourse our own way of 'judgements'. This articulation, we usually respond with a 'like'.. and the response is a gesture of a smile or a click (safe enough, and it is not going to be subjected to further adjudication!).

I happen to recollect a reverse-situation... It was during a train journey... An 'anxious' pair of eyes were 'keenly' focused (wishing that this keenness would be needed to last too long), through a 'some' body sitting right across me, on the other side.. .. A 'gesture' now... I thought, that needs to be calmed down, if I am to breath freely the gush of air forcing its entry through my nostrils, with all the contents that come along, unwillingly even, when it was a furiously racing train that trained its speed on the air in that desolate track.

I said, “Sir, I respect your right to keep staring at me!”... He blinked! He widened his eyes, to clearly gesture that he never heard of any such rights! Nor did I hear about it ever before! It just occurred to me, that is all!..

I thought let me correct myself... and I further ventured... “Sir, may be it is your freedom to stare at me, since eyes have a choice of visibility!”... It was a foolish attempt... ! He only further widened his gaze, with a gesture that perhaps meant “Now, what was that?... the freedom, when there was no 'independence struggle' that I can recollect about?”...

“Sir, actually, even I am confused, about the difference between a freedom and a right... When others notice and still we get away, may be it is a right (law-enforced), and when no body is there to notice, it might be almost like a 'freedom'... Or.. maybe, some other word, other than freedom and right, allows you to stare at me, but 'freely-ofcourse'!”

Now, I thought, it is better to wait for some 'articulated-gesture'...

But, luck wouldn't favor me , for sure, ... I knew...! I had a 'big-mouth' friend beside me, who butted in with, “Oh! Please do not mind him ... he doesn't have to look for something to start a conversation!.. It just pops out of him.. He is like that! (like what?, I wondered, if there was an 'alike' of me!)”..

It was a private conversation between my friend and me, that when somebody is 'forced' to sit opposite to us (seating arrangements are 'such'!), there is nothing else for the other to do except stare at the other fellow seated across to him... And 'clever' ones try to alternate this staring-business, like some 'mutual-benefit-scheme'!

(I would not venture to continue with 'further details here'... who knows, one of the readers might get help from this 'incident' to nail me, .. despite the changes in the contours of my face that nature has blessed me as a camouflage!)..

It is 'gestures'... that fascinated me... And I could not avoid reference to the 'frankness' of animals, about their 'predictable-gestures' (I don't think they are 'exactly-honest' about it... and so 'frankness', a lesser harmful word! Bah! This 'honesty' is so trouble-mongering one, when gestures are usually honest, and it is articulation that provides our much-needed-camouflage!).. It is not for 'nothing' that people talk about percentages of 'body-language' that gives-us-away!.. Gives us away? To whom?... Oh! It is just that the secret is out!... But what about 'nothing'? Dunno!

When it came to 'spirituality', my mind started looking ... and this time, 'By-Default'.. for any gestures that it would make, ... at least a tell-tale-evidence... that this spirit within is really 'keen about spirituality'..! But the teacher keeps insisting that all that this spirit does is to 'stare' (they use a rather-tough word, 'saakshi-bhaav'.. , 'witnessing-aspect-within'.. etc!).. And the 'expectation' is that 'we' somehow 'manage' to ensure that this staring-fellow becomes such that it becomes 'our-awareness'... and all this 'circus', right within! The 'gestures' that they call as tools and techniques, whether with some crazy-like-movement (aasanaas/pranayam, clipping the nose, entwining the limbs in a great discomforting-way,... etc), or even that crazy-non-movement, sitting at a place like an idiot, eyes closed, and doing 'nothing' and they call it 'a meditation'... and as if, this meditation is not a confusion-enough, the explanation is 'it is a dynamic state of non-doing'... Dynamics is physics, but why here ?... We too can rebut with a phrase, which we know for sure that nobody knows fully-about-it, as yet... the dynamics of 'quantum-entanglement-theory'.. but that was not our purpose.. we were so 'innocently' and humbly trying to 'catch-hold' of that 'gesture by our-own-dear-spirit'!!!! (bah! Again that non-existent-nothing!... space or vacuum is not 'nothing'!).. Even these variations of 'gestures' do not seem to really bother that spirit staring at us clandestinely! Now what? (this 'what' is the most bothersome 'gesture' by our mind, when it does not find any other mind around, to mind, and unto ourselves.. err.. 'it-self'... okay 'what'-ever!)

The scare now is that , it (that spirit) would 'wake' up and start blinking (only a 'maybe so'!) when it cannot be contained any more within this frame work that does all the hectic gestures (snoring included please!)... But now it is a sort of 'revenge' by this body! 'Seek' another dumb body now!, says the box or that fire, ... (whatever)!.. But thereafter it is another 'story' not connected with our 'real-istic' gestures here!

Some where, these gestures of ours inter-mingle ... (my guess of course)..

Justly, Just a Jest of a gest-ure,

yours,

psn (11th December, 2014)

Sense of Loyalty

“In our organisation, the 'rule' is, if somebody doesn't perform, it is the immediate boss, who is inefficient...  and so, to escape a 'slaughter', I slog, taking up that fellow's work too!” said a youngster to me, when I asked him, “Hey! Your company handpicks brilliant gold-medalists from all over, pays astronomical 'cost-to-company' (that famous 'CTC'), and yet you say, your immediate junior does not churn out results?”....

When I was taken to the 'action-movie' of 1960's...  James Bond—movies, it was...   And I was surprised at the concept 'He is a double'!...  And the 'explanation' only furthered my puzzle, a double-agent, is not true to its nomenclature!..   He is loyal to neither of the countries!  He is loyal to the 'commission' he gets!

The spark plug inside an engine of a well-tuned vehicle might perhaps say, “Oh! I just did my duty..  I spark any combustible mixture that comes my way!  If my right-kind of spark happens to carry a heavy load, and people smoothly, fuel-efficiently etc...  it is just incidental, and I deserve no thanks for that...  Just make sure that I am ensured my quota of electric power, to keep sparking all-the-way!”...   It is “we”, who like to ensure a 'media-effect-too' while 'merely-announcing' that, we were only doing our duty, and so the shower-of-praises doesn't belong to us...  (Try shifting that praise to somebody nearby, and we would 'know' , perhaps the hard-way.... where that praise 'be-longs' to! ).


Whether it is about recruiting an employee, picking a disciple, choosing a life-partner, etc, one of the criteria is to 'find-out' as to 'where is that person's sense-of-loyalty' likely to be?...   A 'lady' of the house would buy vegetables that stay-fresh longer...  and this 'sense of loyalty' ends up with dishes in that kitchen hovering around only those vegetables, that are loyal to long-life, instead of a 'quality-life'...  And as a result, the kids of that home never get to taste green-leaves, and such nutritious varieties...  now their 'health' leans its loyalty to the next-door 'GP' ...  a general physician..  while our sense of 'language-loyalty' presents problems if somebody is likely to ask, 'Hey, What do you call a veterinarian that can only take care of one species? A physician'  (our 'sense of loyalty to confine to just-human-related-specialists paved the way for an amazing talk: “Barbara Natterson-Horowitz: What veterinarians know that doctors don't”  on TED talks)

......


Now it is quite easy to guess...  Most people strive 'towards money'...   it solves lots of problems...  Now, as a nation, some people maintain it as 'making money' while others just grab, loot, steal etc..

I tried to ask a frequent visitor to one of the 'holy' places, Sringeri, “To whom does the pontiff owe his loyalty to?”..   And this visitor amazed me with a crisp reply: “His Guru”...!!!   True, he was 'handpicked' to carry the baton...   the purpose, for which that particular Mutt was 'established'!... To propagate the worth  of Maha Vakya, 'Aham Brahma Asmi', and the Yajur-veda, in 'as-much-demonstrable-as-possible' way!  (what the visitors and devotees happen to notice and admire is 'usually' the things incidental to the 'strength' of loyalty that happens through each pontiff in that lineage)..


The spirit within us, doesn't seem to look-towards any sense-of-loyalty from us (our body and mind), and yet, even if we part with a small percentage of our sense-of-loyalty to the fact that it is this spirit that 'fuels', empowers the functioning of our body and mind, the scope of this spirit to manifest its power is manifold!

Loyally yours,
psn (10th December, 2014)

Our dislikes

“I am apt mystic saar”... He said, in reply to my query whether he was sure about it (something, that sounded like a judgement, when it was supposed to be only a guess, a prediction!)... That was his possible-best, when trying to articulate his 'optimism'-orientation!

If I had a dislike for his native accent, which affected a foreign tongue vibrating through his vocal cord, I would have indeed missed the 'mystic aptness' that he did carry! He was quite popular for his off-hand predictive statements that did mystify others around... One of our dear colleagues, who was an object of 'dislike' for quite a few, especially when his chants/rants came true, to their own 'disliked-results'...

That sent me thinking about the 'dislike patterns' we carry as 'selective' beings... Our selectivism is not really 'need based'.. perhaps, not even want-based at times, but like-based... Even the most genuine addicts would like that their drinks would not taste so bitter, at least for the first two 'rounds' (later , even the brand would not matter, anyway!).

Just because we find two of us alike, does not always make us like each other, and the other way, 'unlikes' is likely to be a wonderful base for mutual-likes. A dislike doesn't fit in anywhere except when we like to be something that we really are not. And the discovery of the whole process of finding out what we are, is about transcending our likes and dislikes too!

During the phase of volunteering, I found it to be a 'demanding' skill to discover undisclosed dislikes of a few eager-seekers, so that they would transcend their hurdles, silk-smooth... But my hurdle was when I saw that the distinction I had to make was between dislikes of their body and mind! (For example, some people like chana-dal, but their body dislikes it, and instantly shows as skin-irritation-blisters/bulges! ... Some very 'personal' dislikes gets liked by the physical-persona, and their physique too adapts, and addicts to those dislikes, like those couch-potatoes, who dislike a bare-floor to sleep on...)

My earliest memory of 'dislike' was, when my school-teacher decided to initiate me into a new lesson when I just began to like the present one... The new lesson, always felt like an unpleasant stranger! And this dislike began to snowball into a dislike for even the 'promotion' (we were not adjudged as 'passed' .... And one of the elders at home, who perhaps had a dislike for that promotion-without-wage-hike, and he said, 'Oh! So, you didn't really pass the exams, but you were somehow 'promoted' to the next class?'... and it sent me thinking into decide whether it was good to dislike a promotion or a 'pass'!.)

We as kids used to eat anything that was served as 'edible' food... But the taste for dislikes seems to be growing... Kids specialise into dislikes for even 'brands' of noodles, not just the variety called noodles! Even the 'extra' liking for something is about exclusivity of other un-mentioned-dislikes! When such 'dislikes' abound, how do we resist a corruption of mind?... Once the mind is corrupt, how do we avoid our general-dislikes like 'corruption, pollution, etc'?... Then, a 'like', and a likely-future-liking... to keep talking about 'dislikes' is the option to sugar coat it! A mind which is thus caught into likes and dislikes, is more busy with its attention being diverted into grading, classifying, storing etc, of its likes and dislikes, and the grasp of any concept it is true-perspective evades... Attention span finds it easier to make good its escape before the decision of a like-dislike is pronounced! And we try to talk of things like 'acceptance', 'surrender' etc... Now the problem(for some of us) is, perhaps, something like this : “those with whom I like to be, are found in a forum which I dislike, and to further compound it, their dislikes are through absence of response-comments, which includes “me” when it is only supposed to be about my blogs!”.. And for me, it feels almost like fishing in troubled-waters! The best reach for spiritual concepts are when the mind is oscillating between this indecisiveness, only then to have a choice whether to deepen the 'settling-down' into those concepts!

No wonder , we have a “like” button to click on our blogs.. Others are to be simply blocked from voicing their dislikes even!

Likely yours,

psn (3rd December, 2014)

Our Compromises

Some of us, make the whole of our life into a compromise, while some among us struggle with each compromise thrust upon us!

Our ancients used to draw inspiration from stories that get woven around creatures in wilderness, to be able to hold-on to certain values that do not hold its value when compromised!

Eg-jam-pul/example

http://padmum.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/the-legendary-indian-birds-hamsa-chatakas-and-chakoras/

This time, if I start out even with hilarious instances of 'how and why we compromise', it would deter those non-compromising friends from reading any further! And so I compromise towards a non-compromising position!

“Either it is a 100% or it is just a Zero” announced our teacher, when it was about our practices 'expected to yield ... some spiritual experience'... and he added, “which means, 99.9% is also the same as a zero!” ... The teacher's compromise was about refraining from reminding us of this concept too often! (When it was anything-about-spirituality, I never needed to be told even twice!.. My weaknesses agreed a compromise on this one-aspect, and I in turn allowed them to retire on-their-own, voluntarily! What I did miss was a loop-hole in my own part of contract-agreement-deed, and even good-things got retired too soon!).

We know, too well, as to where all we did those compromises in our lives!

Our 'being' awaits just one more our compromise... that we would 'never-compromise' using a compromise, when it is about a spiritual compromise, and instead just give up everything that we seem-to-have/own, as a one-time-settlement!

Uncompromisingly yours,

psn (28th November, 2014)