Our Compromises

Some of us, make the whole of our life into a compromise, while some among us struggle with each compromise thrust upon us!

Our ancients used to draw inspiration from stories that get woven around creatures in wilderness, to be able to hold-on to certain values that do not hold its value when compromised!

Eg-jam-pul/example

http://padmum.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/the-legendary-indian-birds-hamsa-chatakas-and-chakoras/

This time, if I start out even with hilarious instances of 'how and why we compromise', it would deter those non-compromising friends from reading any further! And so I compromise towards a non-compromising position!

“Either it is a 100% or it is just a Zero” announced our teacher, when it was about our practices 'expected to yield ... some spiritual experience'... and he added, “which means, 99.9% is also the same as a zero!” ... The teacher's compromise was about refraining from reminding us of this concept too often! (When it was anything-about-spirituality, I never needed to be told even twice!.. My weaknesses agreed a compromise on this one-aspect, and I in turn allowed them to retire on-their-own, voluntarily! What I did miss was a loop-hole in my own part of contract-agreement-deed, and even good-things got retired too soon!).

We know, too well, as to where all we did those compromises in our lives!

Our 'being' awaits just one more our compromise... that we would 'never-compromise' using a compromise, when it is about a spiritual compromise, and instead just give up everything that we seem-to-have/own, as a one-time-settlement!

Uncompromisingly yours,

psn (28th November, 2014) 

Utilisation of potential

Like any other kid, bubbling with life, full of zeal, eager to 'take in' everything and anything that I see around, I too was wide-eyed, most of the time, when staring into anything unfamiliar!(we often remark, especially to a kid... 'No... don't place it too close to that baby, it would try to put anything into its mouth!'. And then we silently-pray, that the kid would not ask 'why so?'..!!! The deeper experience, the more-intimate experience, that 'we'.. had provided to that baby was, when it got its 'mother's milk'... and obviously, the 'input-devices' that we seek, by default.... is what 'we-are-more-comfortable-with'! The baby does the same... it 'thinks' (rather, 'feels') that ..... feeling via-tongue is the best option to feel anything, right now! The touch doesn't give 'that kind of a depth'..! ). When the baby becomes a kid, the eyes take over, and hands reach where the eyes lead them, that is why we keep 'costly/fragile/risky' items out of 'sight' of a kid, when he manages the 'reach' for anything within-sight! (it is another matter that the kid's trust-level slides down when it discovers that we keep things out of its sight, while .... we perhaps... fail-to-realise that our security-concerns are over-riding our 'response-ability' to teach the kids, to discern and then discriminate!).

All this affects the utilisation-of-potential, one way or other!

“I can't afford to spend my time to teach you... just-one-fellow.. so, ask this question in the class, so that ... 'maybe' some other kid might grasp my words better”... says a 'concerned' teacher!

I looked at so much.... even when a kid, and thus thought... “If I don't mean any interruption to the other, it is okay to just watch 'to my fullest-possible-attentiveness' what is 'going-on' during the 'activity of the other' ...” And therefore, even the simple+routine walk to and fro, home and school, became an 'event' for me, on a daily basis, afresh! Memories surge, revealing the unique mannerisms of those whom I watched, (the ill-protected-from-view... slums did reveal the inside-of-homes, too when a poor lady utilises the sparse wherewithals to 'her-best', starting from the tiny space in that dwarfed-hut!)..

What I missed to notice was the deepening of my-own-perceptions!... I was just lost into what I was observing!... This must have been the 'why'... I thought later, that I missed to take note of how I grew, when I grew... dimensionally too, in my perceptions (the physical growth was measured by the 'too-soon-ill-fitting of clothes that came as charity to me from my cousins.. apart from the 'discovery' of a sudden reach when I keep jumping towards something at a height!)... Certain things did mystify me, like, .. when my mom chided me, 'you need not know... just repeat these words to your dad, and he would know!'... One evening, the ladies of neighbourhood gathered around my younger sister, and where in a heated-discussion, and I was clueless about what could have 'happened' to this girl?... Then they decided, my father is to be told 'urgently'! A 10 paise coin was the cost involved, and what came free was 'me', who would run up to the nearest coin-box hanging at the pillar of a large hospital's foyer, about half a kilometer away from where we rented a house, and called it our-home! I hurried to that box, and shouted at my best when my father announced himself on the phone (that shouting was for two reasons: 1)To deliver the entire message within 3 minutes, I was given only one ten-paise-coin... and 2)To ensure that he hears!), I repeated “mom said 'quote: my sister has grown up'..” and I waited, to see if he would 'offer-some-details'! All he said was “okay, I would do the needful, tell her”... Still a few more seconds to go.. I ventured, 'dad, what does it mean, we all grow up, but nobody announces thus on a specific day?'.. He said, 'I will tell you later'.. And mercifully, he did! (I still revere my dad for the amazing choice of words, the reach towards my tiny mind, and telling in a 'way' that a 'kid-like-me' would easily understand, and also ensuring that what was told was the 'right-dosage'... No copy-paste available for him then! He had to 'decide' by a conscious choice, whether a kid of my age needs to be told all this!.. My sister matured a little early, by 'normal-standards'.. so I heard the elder ladies say.. but it was not so-unusual, and yet a little uncommon.. The rest of the rituals that followed for next 4 to 5 days, did make a large deficit in my dad's budget, while I was on my 'learning-process' about how nature-even, without any 'natural-calamity' affects a poor family's budget!

The tendency to 'over-eat' got curbed, when I realised that my utilisation of that extra morsel of food was 'indulgence' when so many others are so-hungry around me!... Only when something is sure to go a waste, would I really think-of-consuming, not otherwise.. It just looked like 'common-sense' and nothing more! But, that concept of 'full-utilisation' of resource of any kind... it did sink deeper and deeper, with the passage of time!... I started feeling 'hesitant' to draw the attention of somebody who is 'great' in some way! Am I sure to justify gobbling up all-his efforts, time, and resources?...

A story came up, during my teens... It seems a humble musician from south(India), walked up all the way to have an 'audience' (a darshan), of the great musical composer, singer and also known as a saint... The saint Thyagaraaja Bhagawathar. In those days, any musician worth his name would mostly, engage into a musical rendition of Bhagawatham (some ancient holy scripture), and hence the title-Bhaagawathar, (I guess)... This humble musician was known as 'Govinda Marar'... He requested Thyagaraja, to allow him to listen to a song.. And this Saint, rebuked saying “What do you think of yourself?.. to ask me to sing a song 'exclusively for you'?... Go and stand behind a pillar at that temple, and wait.. when I sing for an audience, you too may listen”... Govind-ji bowed humbly, to gesture an acceptance.. But this gesture emboldened the other, who went on further, with “What do you know about music, to have such an audacity?.. Come on, show me your talent, if any? Sing a song right now!”.. And this went on, till our Govind jee had no escape but to sing... He sang. And he did it with 'all he knew' about how to sing a song... He sang the same song in 6 different time-scales (that was what earned a title to him as 'Shat-Kaala-Govinda Marar)... There was no 'media-effect' like now, and once a person crosses a wide river in those days, he is a complete stranger on the other banks!.. Our 'saint' could not hold back the flood of tears that rolled down his eyes, when he realised at once the 'potential' of this frail-looking, ill-clad humble man standing before him!.. The emotion of reverence deepened far-beyond his own ability to contain it... and the result was... what we hear today as the 'most' revered one, out of the famous 'pancha-Ratna-Kritis' during the annual aaraadhana day of the saint at Tiruvayaru every year... “Numerous great beings there are... and I bow to all of them” is the meaning of the opening sentences of that song! (“Endaro mahaanu bhaavulu..”... A foreigner's “John Higgins” was the voice which I heard first when I got introduced to this song!... The language is Telugu, as is the Kritis of this composer, Saint Tyagaraja)...

What I could not really manage (even to contain it)was when I discovered the 'possibility' that ... there could be several of 'unearthly beings' ... who devoted their entire-selves, to keep running after me, all the time (time, beyond the cosmic sense, of course, since they are not confined within material matter), and I do not even 'feel' their presence all along.. only then, to even 'think' of full-utilisation of their 'unconditional dedication for a 'meagre' like me! What about pay-back?.. Trillion-dollar-question?.... More than that! But, even logically, is not the whole of this universe, collectively and aggregately sustaining us? If nothing else? Minus a few planets around, was it okay for us? Hey, the greenery of small park near our colony was adjudicated by High court recently, and upheld by Supreme court , as 'lung space' for the dwellers nearby! Supply of fresh oxygen as their exhalation, the plants! If that is the case, what about our co-habitants, who might... helplessly-even.... copy paste some junk material from somewhere into a blog, in all innocence... thinking that we are badly in need of that oft-repeated-rant? Oh! I guess, I mixed up issues a 'little-too-much' (a paradox in words even like in Hindi too...'thoda-jyaada hi ho gaya shaayad!).

Potentially yours,

psn (25th November, 2014)

Sporting Spirituality

'He sports a mustache, now a days!'... And I started wondering, how can it be a sport, a game, when that growth is by default, a function of nature ? All we can do is to trim or scrape it, with appropriate implements (agriculture ke 'field' mei, it is 'implements', .... and this-moustache, is also a kind of crop! Even a baldie manages to grow this crop, at least! Upar wale ki meherbaani, moonch par-tak, shortage problem nahi laaya.. bhale hi 'saara-mujh-par-tak' kyon na ho!).

At that age, the term 'sport/s' was a little 'misty' to me, neither a rain drop nor a cloud! 'Games', was more familiar... and I was so 'relieved', when they insist on 'sports-man-spirit' only outside any game...! (Both, 'sport' and 'spirit' were elusive, conceptually and tangibly!)

But, I did engage into a 'game' which turned into a 'sport' for me , quite inadvertently! I could 'see' almost anything that these 'elders' speak of, talk about, or talk-with-too (be it murmuring to oneself even!)... This 'life' which is ticking within me, seemed elusive... The nails and hair are clipped by elders, and yet, I do not 'miss' anything like a 'part of my life gone with it...!'...

About those 'about-to-die' people, I even heard elders say “She is holding back the life, ... some desire perhaps! Try applying a little mud mixed with water, near to her lips, and she might 'pass-away' peacefully!” (A great-great ganny was 'sporting' with 'life', lying on the floor, manifesting a few jerks of life every few minutes, while preparations were already on.. for the 'next-things-to be done' by elders around.. they were too busy to 'check-me-out', and I knew, this scene is 'for adults only'.. so I remained as inconspicuous as possible {remaining+ 'also-not-there'... was yet another difficult task, which I seldom engaged myself into.. but death-scenes fascinated me right from early age... may be 4 or 5 then..}). This witnessing of 'death',.. though, not knowing what 'actually' was happening with that person, .. this process got 'me-involved' by the other elusive-player, spirituality.. (if we may call that concept so.. personification of the concept-of-spirit in us)...

I did not feel any 'need' to firstly verify, if there is something called 'life' in a human body! I am asleep and do not remember anything about it! It must be life, then... that is taking care of 'everything' about me!

Maybe, that started the game, the sports ... with only one player on the other side of me.. The player and 'his' game ... both are elusive! It is a kind of 'seek-only' game... He doesn't have to even hide! ....My hide hides him, right within! ..... And therefore, the 'rituals' that was 'supposed to address' the the other player, the spirit/s attracted me 'naturally-now'! It was up to me to make 'sama' to that 'kriti', of what is already a wild, crude, raw player, a creation, a kriti.... by 'Pra', or prakriti... The 'bottling' of it may be the technology (I felt,) to become sam-s-kaar, and the 'programming-language' or the 'O/s'/operating system .. Samskriti/sanskrit... (an effective & communicating interface, which 'attempts' to create a liason between the 'player' and the 'played-with-{mind}-etc'...! All this, seemed so vague, so fuzzy,... I never really 'expected-even' , the people around me to participate in any kind of 'meaning-ful' listening... they were thoroughly engaged in other sports of material-life... their spirits could be 'snoring' (I thought!)...

Years, decades... later...

I met a sportsperson. 'X', who became a good friend of mine, and fortunately, after some time, I turned into a good-friend of that person-too!

I engaged him into a conversation, which I thought would not see the print-sport, but would sprint away with that 'chat' ... But today, I felt amused, recalling that chat, and it seems to relate with what I have stated above, the experience of my own sports-game with spirituality...

I asked him: “Arey yaar... agar hum, 'sirf' statistics dekhenge tou... If we just look at it 'statistically', in your entire sports-career, ... is it not 'loses' that have a tall graph, with those few wins at great-tournament, crowning you with a 'seeded-player'?”...

He paused, trying to 'see' what I was 'trying-to-get-at'.....

“Y-e-s....” he conceded..

I said, “And in those practice-sessions, you, cheerfully loved to lose... be it a 'live-volunteer' who gives you those 'tough-hurdle-serves', or a 'mechanical-device' like those bowling machines for cricketeers!”... he agreed... “And when it is a live-tournament, this 'cheerfully-agreeing-to-lose' becomes a 'killer-instinct' to now... 'somehow' outwit the other... (let the umpire object, if at all...!).. .. and we end up tapping lesser than our potential of 'practice-sessions'?”.. He agreed.

I continued... “Now I like to ask a quiz, which is likely to embarrass you a little... Lekin, thoo tou mera yaar hai... kuch bhi 'pooch'... like , I can catch hold of your poonch/tail, without the risk of annoying you?”.. He smiled..

I asked: “Did you ever take advantage of the 'experience' of that high-rate-of-failures, the losing-of-game, losing-of-matches... due to your sports-career.. to evolve into spirituality?.. Aam aadmi doesn't have that 'privilege' of having lost so many arguements, so-many-games in real life,... and so would fail 'emotionally' when spiritual practices seem so-stupid, when nothing 'seems-to-happen' spiritually-speaking... with those practices?.. Maybe, the health gets toned-up at a cheap-rate without gadgets/medicines/tonics/etc... But the mind is unable to report any news, worth while?”...

He became silent... After a while, he said, “Hey... you have opened that window a little wider, when I was, all along ... feeling that the chill-wind is creeping in through the weak joint of the broken hinges of that closed window!” .. (He did explain ... 'his-view' of that damaged-window.. but, I would keep that part for some other time!... Suffice it here to give just a hint, that the memory of 'notable' failues had caused that chill... which he now learnt to look at as 'blessings'! This sportsperson was a 'co-student' during my spiritual-program-classes... and we shared a few mystifying experiences, when we tried to 'suspect' each other, for doing some-tricks, when we sat with 'back-to-back' for meditative sessions, where, the wall-rest was fully-occupied by freshers, in that hall).

What I was hesitant to tell him was, “I had only failures/loses to account for, in my sports-game with the opponent called 'spirituality'”... In our country, this sport of 'spirituality' has 'lost' its recognition as a game, while rural games like gilli-danda, kabbadi are 'waiting' for recognition.. A few elite class in urban places use the game of spirituality , only-for-match-fixing! It works... since the real player is ever-elusive-as-always, to both.. the match-fixers, as well as the victims of match-fixing.. so, without a 'habeus-corpus'((“ a writ requiring a person to be brought before a judge or court,”), koi case hi nahi Ban-taa/no-case-at-all...!

Sporting(ly), you(rs)...

psn(20th November, 2014)

Trust Worthiness

That salesman at the door, now-a-days finds it a 'marketing-strategy' to talk about freebies at first! “Madam/Sir,” he begins, as soon as we open the door to see 'who it is'... and says, “This encyclopedia is 'free' ... for you”....!

Now, we are interested to 'find out a little more'..! Very soon, (but not until he has firmly 'guessed' that you are 'really interested' to get that 'free' large-sized-book,... ) he would slowly hight light the fine-print, “Only when you buy a set of those 3 books, which I offer for Rs.269/- each costing Rs.100/-”... We 'see' that this encyclopedia itself is worth Rs.500/- plus!... A good bargain! Anyway, those 3 book are not of 'much-use'... but even there there is a 'bargain'... Rs.100/- X 3=Rs.300/- and he charges only Rs.269/- (Ek rupya chutta nahi hai, and practically, he takes Rs.270/-..!)

We buy those stupid 3 books, but at first, spend time to take a look at the 'free' one ... The very size is so big... after some half an hour, we look at the date stamp, to realise that it is an outdated-edition! (All that the salesman manages is to encash our 'weakness' for some material thing... he has no time-even, to find a way to invoke our-trust-in-him!... So, we started an endless game, of outwitting/trying-to-outwit/etc.. each other!.. Anybody who is not so-good at this game is an 'idiot' who does not know, 'how to survive'.. This 'how to survive' can only aim at extending life, not deepening the 'experience of life'... because, this game engages our mind totally, not leaving any scope for 'awareness' of life... The only possible argument here is, life happens in this very moment -only... where as, the mind is always 'about-some-past', though it can even think of a 'future' too!... And it is sheer 'awareness', without the mind's interference that can deepen 'any-experience-at-all' of 'life'... What we 'think-of', as life experience is, right now, what the mind-dictates to us, as its-own-story!... When we feel that our-mind is not so-smart... we take a fancy to listen to another better-story-telling-mind! The paradox is, the reach right now.. is only through a mind, to somehow convince it, “please ... stay aside for a while.. while I try to 'experience' life”... Our mind does not find 'us' trustworthy-enough, to be 'on our own', even for a while, a moment-even!!!.. The spirit/life/energy/whatever, within us... has dubious ways of ensuring its own 'rest and recuperation or restoration'.. it just ensures to 'silence' us forcibly.. but that is when/what we call it as 'deep-sleep'. This human frame was a 'design' by the life/spirit, to make an experience of life possible for itself, using mind too, as a tool.. where as, our 'game-rules' about handling 'trust' does not accommodate that 'life' within to participate at all, nor even to 'witness', and mind takes over the entire 'show'!... Whatever we do, we end up into a 'test-of-strength' between ...'us' and our own minds... instead of that 'togetherness' of deepening the 'life-experience'! )

Slowly, some of us 'learn' to be careful with anything that comes 'free'! ('Free-door-delivery' , despite a heavy discount! Now our mind is engaged, into “where the hell is the 'catch'?..”...

With such a kind of a mind (whose very nature is shaped by 'market-conditions'... nothing to do with 'living a life meaningfully'), we try to approach things like spirituality, devotion, religion, culture&traditions branded as 'religion' (Hindu- “ism”)... etc... We are into 'finding-out' the trustworthiness of each and everything around, each person we 'deal' with on the outside world, and then, reaching home, we inadvertently end up 'testing' our own dear ones, inadvertently! There is a price to pay, when we expend the bulk of our 'attention' into testing the 'trustworthiness' during most of our waking hours! We have no time even, to think of 'why at all, do we need to offer our own trust?'

“Do you find anything else to be 'ever diluting its offer of trust' , anywhere in nature?” , I asked an youngster, (taking advantage of the popular misconception that we human beings do not form a part of the nature! Other wise, I would have had to add, 'except us, humans'!).

“Even a murderer by profession, sows grains... and the seeds sprout... depending only on its own potential to respond to availability of nutients needed” (the youngster was 'reasonably' good at logic, and I could obviate the need to elaborate too much about absence of water/manure, etc being a 'possible cause' of the seed's failure to grow into a healthy plant).

The deer does not carry any negative 'residue' after a 'chase-in-vain' by a tiger, whose food this deer is.. It does trust the tiger, at a future date, that when it 'looks well fed', it is quite safe to 'even-stay' withing its 'grab-reach'... and the chase would be only when the tiger is 'hungry-for-food'! (I did not embarrass that kid, reminding him, with “Where as, we humans would eat that pizza, even when not hungry on the next day, just-because, we did not get it yesterday”)..

“Now,” I continued, “are we not ignoring the bulk of 'trust' that has been demonstrated in a big way, everywhere around us, by nature, when we declare too often 'where is that trust now-a-days'?”...

Yes, ... We can afford to ignore what is 'by-default' when our need is to engage with those who never/seldom offer trust... and therefore we 'strive' to somehow-succeed in life, despite odds... ignoring the fact that we create our own 'mutual hurdles' in this vicious-cycle we have set up for ourselves. The 'rules of the game' of life, when it is turned thus into a life-negative manner, our potential to explore into highest human possibilities gets stagnated.

Perhaps, (if those stories are to be believed, even as an indicative symbolism), the setting up of a place by Aadi Shankara, as a 'even a museum' (if it is too difficult to look at it as something 'spiritual'), the place itself, seems to support us to recall and remember (like the 'reminder-alarm' that we set-up on gadgets, when we are so-sure-to-forget something!), ... to remind ourselves that we are having the 'potential' to offer trust a little more 'unconditionally', thereby, living up to the very design of our own nature... 'the human form'!.. The story says that, a snake was found to be sheltering with its hood a frog (which was about to lay its eggs), from a torrential downpour, while the design of nature was that, 'frog was to be gobbled' as-and-when sighted, by a snake!... Some bird like a vulture was protecting its food-creature ('prey')... Aadi Shankara was surprised to 'sight' 3 of such 'rare' happenings, on the banks of a river, and he felt..'this place must be so energetic, spiritually, that.... even these creatures are able to transcend their basic nature ! Then, it must be able to also support human beings, who might spend spend a while here! The very place 'might' obviate the need to 'firstly-convince' that it is 'okay' to offer trust, and thereby ... come closer into invoking the highest human possibility, ... of evolving into spirituality... and then, enjoying the 'deep' experience of ' a human life'.. irrespective of what happens around us'... Maybe that is how a humble hermitage sprung up at the foothills of Sringa-Giri mountains! It is so difficult to 'explain' in words, the experience within, that the place offers, when we visit there, just the banks of that river, not even trying to step inside the structure that was 'supposed to have been consecrated' to enhance/amplify the 'unique energy' of that place (this word 'energy' is a very loose term... to be understood, with an indicative example, when we find those warnings on certain gadgets 'please make sure that this device is not place too close to any place with a powerful-magnetic-field, or else, the data maybe lost, apart from any possible mal-functioning of this device, due to the effect of such magnetic-field)...

The practical side of life!... We are driven by goals in our lives... The least of them, being 'somehow' manage to keep this body and soul (life within), together for its full-intended span.. The highest goal being, ... breaking all previous records of others (that is all .. that it sums up into... in a nutshell)! For other life forms, their life happens within 'set-parameters'.. For human beings, our potential (when invoked, our ability too), to transcend our own 'natural parameters' is a possibility... When we allow the decision to be outsourced to others... about our 'success-rate'... we are into their game, by the rules set by them! Oddly enough, when it is about them, it is 'we' who turn into that 'others' for them!... If this is clear, then the 'trust' factor becomes a little easier to understand! If that roadside vegetable vendor decides, not to give the goods till we pay, and we too decide, not to pay till we receive the goods into our hands, we need a 'middleman/person' who also decides not to expend his 'while' without a 'worth'!... We co-exist with other life forms... We continue to compete with our 'non-compromising-on-trust' games! The spirits keep hunting/haunting/whatever, its own share of 'deep life-experience'.. The eternity keeps waiting, with its infinite potential to wait!

Testily yours,

psn(16th November, 2014)

Short Supply

It was (a few decades ago,) usually a natural phenomenon in the market, when suddenly something is in shortage.. when something like Horlicks was not available, the retailer used to guess, 'perhaps rate is increasing'.. the new stock need not have a home-competitor with old rates! Today, it is a 'rigging' technology, and usually, the latest version is in stock-market!

As a kid, observing the various categories of 'short-supply' was so fascinating, that I discovered myself to be 'actually' looking into availability-level of certain things, that 'ought to be there' in a given set of, or a set-pattern of situation. “Fire” was written on a bucket full of sand kept at a conspicuous place in cinema theatres, and the surface was usually blood-red in colour, with fresh spit of pan-eaters (betel leaves chewed with tobacco, needs a spitting out of the pulp/gravy/whatever!) ... A grocer's shop has its cash counter with a 'protective' line-up of glass jars full of peppermints, chocolates, etc... (kids become more restless when adults 'usually' delay taking out the currency notes out of a wallet... 'let not the observer guess the total volume' and so pull out just-the-needed denominations!.. the cashier takes out a few chocolates, to avoid the brunt of that kid's restlessness... If that was not needed, he simply substitutes small change, returnable with bill, into few chocolates!)..

When such things are in short-supply, I get alerted!

Certain emotions are in a 'short-supply' in certain situations... (In the movie 'Zanjeer', Praan saab asks in a song 'Teri hansee ki keemat kya hai, yeh bataa de thoo...' A smile, when it is in short-supply, the rates quoted are in 'black'!)

Certain qualities are in a short-supply in certain situations... (For example, as a nation, we lack punctuality! And when 'odd-ones' get singled out... it is a matter of luck/fortune and chance how that odd-individual gets treated for this trait... Ah! Genuine appreciation for right-reasons, are also in short-supply!).

Proper grasp of concepts... when it is in short-supply... it is sought to be substituted with misconstrued ones, but with very similar and perhaps, more attractive labels! Love, honesty, friendship.. are traded so freely and abundantly in its 'duplicate' (again, the popular-sense of duplicate ... is supposed to mean 'fakes'!... Maybe, duplicate heroes of movies take the credit, and righlty so, when heroes themselves are just 'fictitious-characters' of a fiction!)...

But, somewhere, deep within us, there is always a seeking... (often, that 'seeking' .. we struggle to 'recognise'/identify... as if like, we are trying to find out somebody who is standing in a dark shadow, with the glare of light focused on ourselves)... When this seeking becomes a little intense, we feel a certain kind of 'emptiness'... waiting to be filled up... and then, if the situation outside fails to provide a cheer, then very soon , this 'vacant' feeling turns into a kind of depression too!

And I on the other hand was so well 'adjusted' with.... 'what can be expected from present day scenario'... used to feel an opposite emotion, when an appreciation actually turns into diluting of a certain 'value' in a closed group!

I made a comment at a blog, which I guess may not really go too-well with a few readers, unless they find a space to look at it from my view-point as well...

Let me copy paste that portion... here in below:

quote:

I felt a little saddened, when I found that 'honesty' was started to be appreciated at our work-place! I did not voice my concern though... But I privately asked a 'stupid' doubt to the officer at whose hands it was 'imposed' upon, to be given, that award... and he said "dekho, yeh sab mere duty ka ek hissa hai, mujhe kripaya murjrim na banaao"... What I asked him was "Sir ji... ek rupai ka chori bhi Chori-hi-hota hai... that is the concept.. kya similar concept apun ke work-place ke honesty mei bhi laagu hoga kya?" (I had no other oppor-chutney/opportunity... to settle my score! Many times, as a cashier, we ... not me alone.. get 'excess' one-note in a packet of 1s, 2s, 5s, 10s etc... We phone up the customer, and he being hesitant to say 'tum-he rakh lo'... says, 'saab, account mei jamaa kar do'... he is too lazy to come and collect that 'peanut-amount'... Now, if we credit the account, this officer says, "asiey chillar baton ke liye, ek voucher extra banaakar hamara kaam kyon badha rahe ho!"... In either case, our honesty-ki-aisi ki taisee!... We look like fools, with chillar-honesty! Not that big-honesty cannot be stage-managed! We had excellent relationship with costly-customers (not rich, but costly for bank to lose them!).. and 'anytime-for-you'... they would say... drop a gold chain.. one of us , name-hungry-idiots can pick it up, and make a show, vouched by that customer (but that would be the end of 'genuine-friendship' for that fellow with 'that' customer!...
We were not really too-happy when somebody thought of such honesty awards... It is okay, to have an honesty award at police-department, road transport etc.. at least public can know, work cannot happen through these people, when work is only via-bribe! 
Teachers, ... under ideal condition should, never look at a student as 'my-class/my-subject-wala student, etc'.. .. 'A' student... and I am 'A' teacher (whether he goes to 'any-school' or cannot afford 'A' school...).

But we appreciate anything that is in short-supply! (Ration ki dukan wale ko jyaada salaam maartey hue maine bahut dekha hai!)... The converse is the problem (especially with spiritual field).. Unless something is in short-supply, we "become unable" (or say become differently-abled), to appreciate it!... 

With this kind of an 'out-look' , I guess, I should ensure that I do not render myself into 'short-supply'.. the key to my freedom lies in being 'Any Time Idiot!' 

This 'short-supply' trick, we as kids noticed it only when that 'Ragada-wala' near our school, used to shout, 'sab ko milega bhai, line se aana'... he said this so mechanically, that we had a laugh, where there were just 3 of us, and the order was only by one-for-we-3...! (My classmate explained... 'Yeh ek naya trick hai... short-supply ka 'effect' laaney ke liye.. jyada bikri hota hai!).. One thing for sure, I felt, this future generation is going to get confused too-badly about positive-negative attitudes!

" that 'Ragada-wala"...
There was a vendor who used to sell 'saucer' full of what he named it as 'Ragada'... The main ingredient was Kabuli-chana, presoaked... the garnishings were a lot... Imli ka khatta itself was well fortified with several spices, and added only at the last moment... Tomato slices, kothambir, onion, tej-hari-mich sliced, ... all this for just 3 Naye-Paise! (and we used to ask a class mate, tere paas, ek naya paisa hai kya?.. mere paas sirf 2 hai... kal de doonga tere ko)... He has a small stove below a very large circular plate with a rim around which can hold about 5 litres of steaming ragada-base-stuff any time!.. It was too difficult to pass by that push-cart, without feeling the fragrance emitting from it... Even our 'drill-master' who used to warn us 'officially' that it is not good to eat such 'open-to-dust' items on road side, used to engage one of us to 'take a plate to a shop-wala some 100 yards away, where he would be 'awaiting' his quota.. the 'reward' for that kid is 'half-plate-free' from Ragada wala!... It was only during two weeks prior to exam dates, that the sales was poor (fever , dysentery, diarrhea etc ka darr.. But, I was not an easy victim to such fear... somehow my body knew, how to throw out 'needless-garbage'.. we drank water from a tank, which never knew the spelling of 'cleaning' in all its life-time! There was a whole world of 'biology' at the base of its inside.. I happened to get a peep while trying to hide at its roof-top, a small gap, during our chor--police game in Badaa-interval...).

We were quite clear about sincerity, honesty, etc... due to such 'live-examples'... And therefore, this 'transitional-society'... the set of 'transitional-generations' happened to give an immense and a very rare experience about 'dilution' of traditional values, where 'reverence' to a teacher had to become turned into a 'show of respect' too!
Unquote:

Shortly yours,
psn (13th November, 2014)

Automation, at our mind's service..

A very dear friend of mine emailed to tell me that “"quite admirable, that you go through details like this." (the details were not much--- it was just doing something additional, and also related to the basic information I receive... For instance, when somebody gives us his phone number, it is handy to look up the address that is 'attached' to this information.... For that, we need to pre-attach an information a little earlier in our memory that, the moment we look at a landline phone number, it should 'also occur' to us that this number belongs to a Government owned service provider.. Now it is easier to hunt for address from a directory-search... This saves the hassles for the other person to respond to our 'yet another query' about his location... Further, 'if and when' we might try to call on him, we can get somewhere-closeby to that location, and then 'mention the large landmarks right before us.. the other can now 'very-briefly' tell us how to reach his place! In a way, it is respecting the other person's time, mind-time, etc apart from a reverence for him as another being! Traits like this, contribute immensely towards a spiritual growth, when it 'fine-tunes' our attitude, which in turn keeps the negative-emotions a little subdued!

When I looked back, before responding to this 'remark'... (again, a default kind of function, that looking back for a credible experiential-information..) my thoughts ran thus : “I guess, it becomes more or less like a 'default-functioning'... some kind of automation, I devised of my own, right during childhood, when I saw that 'focusing' too much on repetitive routine takes away the mind's attention too much, I would 'free-up' the mind to relax while I am able to 'automate the routine functions' ... It is not at all something new.. actually it is an in-built ability... Most people apply brakes 'without too much of conscious thinking, once they find themselves to be a 'good' driver at safety... And yet, maneuvering requires great attention, since the bottlenecks ahead do not have any 'repetitive pattern'.. they are similar in style (with clothing, we have similar designs with different pattern! Mem-saabs know this well where as 'not-so-alert' husbands gape, when she announces "you have repeated that saree, see, it is so similar!'... and bouts of arguments ensue...!).

I had no way to actually 'measure' if I have 'adequately' automated myself The whole thing is about proper-assessment, about a repetitive job, the risk of automating it (like, a cashier who learns to 'mechanically' apply keys to lock a safe, is going to pay with lot of uncertainty-tension, restlessness, and stress, if he is in doubt, about 'really' applied the keys... I have experience, of having such a doubt, and I recall having 'done' it, but the doubt was, whether the memory belongs to 'today's locking or was it a replay of yesterday's act?' ..)..

Somebody used to come to my bachelor-room to learn working-English... It was night and the power went off.. Pitch dark. In less than 5 seconds, I lit a match stick, and using that flame-light, picked a candle.. That 'somebody' was amazed! He asked, "how did you manage to place your palm 'exactly' on the match box?".. I said, 'two things... I was quite close to its reach.. More importantly, for the past several years, the match box, its place, its style of placing, the way it opens, when picked, without fumbling for its casing to face upwards, the end of the stick that is to be finger-held, instead of that strike-head, etc.. are consciously maintained undisturbed... the advantage is, my thought process is not disturbed too much... It came handy during dark, ... that trapeze artist who does the acrobatics up in the air, can do it even blind folded, with so many years of practice, if he had also learnt to trust himself!"

All this was fine, till that spiritual pursuit began to creep in with its functionalities, as a tool, to facilitate growth on a steady and on-going basis... This 'automation' often diluted the awareness (while alertness was already 'programmed' according to risk, and viability-factors)... There was a hearsay-story to indicate this: It seems once Buddha waved his arm the 'second' time, when there was no fly sitting on his nose, and he explained “the first time, I missed the awareness of that action”. The fly did not assist for an action-replay, to oblige Buddha for a live action.. the 'dry-run' succeeded instead of the 'preceding-style' by those sleeper-cells! Sleeper cells try to have several dry-runs, with the same objective, but with different purpose---they do not trust their own 'diverging-nature of mind'! It would lose its attentiveness-towards purpose, if there is any distraction which makes them apprehensive to their 'varieties of reactionary type of intense emotion-potentials'.... usually, fear-based!

So, I had to 'reprogram' myself, to consciously choose to do those routine things, in conscious-style too... to keep that awareness, within the 'conscious-choice' levels.. The benefits were immense.. Even those 'automated' response-and-act-patterns got innovated further... and of course, needing a re-doing of the automation-program!

I guess, some of us here would be interested in this 'possibility' .. at least to take care of age-related problems of forgetfulness!

Automatically yours,

psn (9th November, 2014) 

Bakwaas

The meaning is itself, about meaninglessness of something else... usually about words, statements or actions, efforts etc...

Somehow, this word did not manage to get into my 'active-vocabulary' though I get to hear it quite often... (when the conversation is in Hindi, usually)... Maybe because, I was a bit apprehensive about my own inattentiveness, that might dismiss a 'phenomenon' happening on the outside, (my mind being the 'inside-world' for me!). Often, we miss the subtle point, and casually dismiss something as 'useless, meaningless, futile, non-consequential.. etc'... Even when I see/hear somebody dismissing something as 'bakwaas', my attentiveness gets alerted to look for what exactly made that person say so?.. If that person is right, his analysis helps me... his 'experience of something' is worthwhile using for my own future dealing (for instance, somebody bought a gadget, say a mobile... which turned out to be a 'bakwaas' for him... I try to see, if he has realised that it is a 'touch-screen-operation' and therefore it has not too many buttons!... When I saw the 'proof' of Euclid's theorem, in a book called Vedic mathematics, the author remarked about the 'prescribed-proof-at-school' as “ultra-notorious for its cumbrousness, clumsiness, etc.. there are several vedic proofs thereof (everyone of them much simpler than Euclid's)”.....!

( http://www.cut-the-knot.org/pythagoras/Proof1.shtml

and...

http://www.scribd.com/doc/16217568/Proof-of-Pythagoras-Theorem-Using-Vedic-Mathematics )..

and yet, I did not feel tempted to dismiss either of them as 'bakwaas'!

About spiritual concepts, almost all of them seem to be 'bakwaas' to a mind which insists on being riveted 'only-on' logical analysis , and prepared to look through only-sensory levels of perception! (A typical example was... I used to draw a 'blank' to this query that I ask of those professionals, who oversee the 'initiation' and perhaps also teach, the “ow to do the routine rituals once a person wears that holy-thread”... I used to ask, “Why is it that what ever actions 'they' do, just-because a person wears that thread, does not allow an experience through perception?... We eat, and we experience a hunger-satiation.. we drink water, and can feel a thirst being quenched.. but these rituals.. they leave no residual-experience?”... I do not like to embarrass with questions like, “When we pray, looking at a deity-idol, does He hear? Or is it just a 'missed-call'?”... There are people who co-relate with some personal experiences, which do look like a 'bakwaas' for non-believers... But this 'threading-business' only deals with 'ritualistic-performance' and seldom finds scope to co-relate with any 'miracle', usually... The chants might give some psychological-peace of mind... but, very few 'claim' a 'tangible result'... And yet, these rituals have stood the test of time! Good enough a reason, if we care to examine it as something beyond a 'bakwaas'! I do not 'chase' for an answer ('rozi-roti ka sawaal hai' for that hapless priestly-person!)...

On a forum (speaking tree), I had a chance to look 'yet again' at my-bakwaas, when somebody repeated this chant of 'bakwaas'!

And, all I could manage was to provide a few varieties of Bakwaas.. I was surprised, when it found 'some-appeal'...! And therefore I thought why not 'broadcast that bakwaas'!

Quote:

Bakwaas varieties...
(Imaginary samples)

1. A kid wakes up, looks into a 3D visual through a 3D glasses, pre-fitted on to him, while he was in deep sleep... and 'experiences' those visuals as 'his real experiences' and exclaims “What you say is Bakwaas... I am in deep trouble right now.. no escape in sight... If you can't come to rescue, just shut-up dad, and le'me deal it as best as I can”...
2. The Dad... takes a look at the screen... only blurred images... does not even realise, the screen needs a 3D lens to view... says, 'Bakwaas,... where is the image even? First of all, to get 'afraided-so-much' ?.. why are you afraiding looking at such distorted images?' (for him even the 2D is blurred!
3. The mom... takes a look at both, the dad and the kid.. “Bakwaas.. neither the 3D experience , nor the time spent to criticise it at '2D' level itself.. is going to cook the breakfast... Hunger is real.. need is food... No vegetables in our 'mortury-ice-box'... err... I mean... Re-Fridge-rator...whatever... Get the veg soon!
4. Some lean fragile fellow sitting eyes closed in a corner.. “Bakwaas.. who said, intake through mouth is the 'reality' to feed that hunger?... Here I am, replicating the ancients.. doing a complex combination of mudras+kriyas... the pituitary glands secreting a unique kind of substance.. and it permeates into my body, and absorbs nutients like that cactus in a dry sandy desert!”
5. “Bakwaas” says that 'ghost'... hanging somewhere near the ceiling... “all these guys are wasting the time, just as I too did... and now repenting , hanging half way! Engaged too much into wordly material things... neglecting the 'being' within”
6. Et-cet-tra... Etcetera... (Oh! Etc itself means 'further-bakwaas)!!!

unquote...

Bakwaas-ingly-yours,

psn (3rd November, 2014)

Varieties of emotion, and variation in its intensities!

“His anger his quite bad, when(ever) he is at it”... that is all they say about somebody, who is 'otherwise' a very lovable person!

What they are missing is, while... the anger-spells constitute only about 6% of his waking hours, or 4.5% of his total hours (these percentages are only for the purpose of dramatization of the comment, and have no bearing on any 'research oriented' statistical findings of mine... but yes... we can visualise, somebody getting angry once in a day, manifesting it for some 5 minutes, and the 'lava' spread out and cools only within the next 40 minutes or so!)... the missing-to-take notice of (and adequately appreciating it), is that this same person is so peaceful for the bulk of the 95% of the time (I allow a probability of 1% of time for that rare-wonder-element!)...

Maybe, the poor fellow doesn't manage to handle that peaceful-ness into a pervasive manner, while others around pass by, as if they are just passing by the cage of a hippopotamus in a zoo (it doesn't react at all.. so how long to stare at it?)...

Some evolved beings when they are around, even their calmness, peace is so imposing ... like we suddenly confront a huge 'Himalayas' into its face! Fortunate ones feel this peace of that evolved being ... being pervading too, into oneself ...

Most of us 'carry' a potential to emote in a few varieties of ways... Some are 'deaf' to music... and all that they manage is.... like that joke of Mulla-Nasruddin, who replied to a  query about his tears, at a classical concert.. The query was in two instalments: “Arey Mulla, aap, aur yahan?” (You here, at a concert?), to which he merely winked... and the next query, “Aap ke aankhon mei aansoo?” (You in tears?.. Music was so 'moving'?), and he replied: “Yes!!! I recognised it so soon... Just a couple of days ago, when the scape-goat-for-meat was separated from its herd, it could 'sense' that it would soon be beheaded, and it make 'exactly' the same kind of 'long-note-bellowing'... mei..ae..ae... ae... etc... and this vocal musician must have sensed his end too, out of that acute and chronic pain in his abdomen” ... Trying to even feign emotions, of which we do not have a potential, can land us in trouble!

Even kids, no sooner they touch the age of 2 or 3, try to specialise into an emotion, that seems to work for them, with the elders around! Maybe it is whining, crying, long-faced-grim 'hangout'.. etc.. ('the crying-baby gets the feeding..'... is the popular adage... but why? We respond to only certain 'intense-emotions' of others? Can't we try to respond to a very peaceful person, with the very same 'dynamic-yet-silent' calmness? If not trying to nag him with a 'thank you for being so-quiet'!)..

Our perceptions adapt itself, to the emotional 'specialisations' that we try to get engrooved into, (maybe inadvertently too), and then... it becomes a kind of embedded-design, into the very way of our being.. and we now struggle to even observe something as silly as mere breath-watching! Our emotional orientations, having specialised into some variety/ies.. tend to polarise us towards only that-kind-of-perceptions... hankering (for pampering ourselves), only into such inputs... An easy identification is perhaps, when we discover our own 'attention-span' to be repulsive towards something that we are 'logically-convinced' to be for our own-good! (That swallowing of a vitamin pill, for example feels cumbersome, and we put it off for the next day... 'already too late for bus' etc!)...

If watching one's own breath feels too cumbersome... why not watch that of others,.. at least when they just-finished with anger/running/tension/etc... the breath pattern is so exciting, when we see that 'heaving' instead of that nose, just taking in noiselessly, motionlessly.. the free-air-around! (and we even ask.. 'why are you fretting and fuming?').. Singers learn to handle that 'breathing-in' to be a little-noiseless, when the microphone is too sensitive... but there again that 'self-awareness' is diluted when the focus of emotion is oriented to beget a 'wah-wah' from listeners of that recording!

What, if we allow the situation to decide, what kind of an emotion is to be invoked, and then we activate that 'software' to read that 'situation' (like an intelligent computer, or a smart-phone senses the data and decides whether to invoke a spread-sheet, a word-processor, or just that 'unknown-data' response!)... I wonder!

(Long ago, a teacher said, “You can be a Yogi in two ways... like a flower, or even like a stone”... It took quite a long time to convince myself that stones do emote! It is just that we are 'stone-deaf' usually, to stones!)

In-variably-yours,

psn(3rd November, 2014)

Feel of the 'ambience'

A very subtle aspect indeed, apart from being so abstract...

We (at least some of us), try to 'feel' a place like a temple, to see, if anything 'sacred' about such a place reaches our own feel...

I was amazed to find a 'feel' in today's episode of the very popular show.. 'Satyameva Jayate'!

A lot of effort, money, research and expertise goes into 'the-making' of such episodes... Mega budget... and there is a clear-and-distinct effort to reach high levels of 'emotional feel' which makes it 'long-lasting' as a Mega show (popular movies too, manage to 're-create' that emotional feel, even after years, even when we see it 'second' time, or 'n'th time..)...

So, it can be deduced or assumed, that similar emotional-feel-creation should have been contemplated-of, conceived-of.. during the making of an episode concerning “mind-related” topic, to include 'suicidal-tendencies', abnormal mental conditions diagnosed as 'mind-disorder' etc...

And yet, there was something 'pale' about that feel, which was not 'emotionally-inspiring'.. Same team, with lot of experience of 'already-successful-episodes'...!!! I was wondering, if I were 'reading' it wrong?.. But it struck me... “Hey, the audience is drawn from people who can connect with 'experiences related to the very-theme'!!! And that seemed to offer some clues that 'might-support my guess-work'!

If others are able to find some scope to agree with this guess work.. then, maybe... an earlier magnified-example(like this one, with 'sharp&marked-contrast', might be helpful to prepare and be a little more receptive to such distinctive-ambiance around us often! In spiritual terms, it does mean a little deeper than sensory-level-perception!)...

{And yes, ... having said this , about this 'TV episode'.. I take courage to mention a little private game I used to play with my dear cousin... when we 'indulged' into 'trying-to-feel' the atmosphere in houses around the block... same building (different apart-ments,), as also different building-blocks around.. at Mumbai (Bombay—then)... I guess, ..... that.. therefore-that-we were kids, we surprised each other, with a 'How did he-too feel it?'.. Now, we both.. oldies... are much more comfortable, with ageeing 'at-once' about it!}

Perceptionally yours,

psn (2nd November, 2014)

Why the whole secrecy (about it.. or about I.T.) ?

Such a question pre-supposes that something is deliberately kept a secret...!

We do not ask about why the 'water-wash' after an excretion via anus.....

It is with great reluctance or hesitation that some of the eastern people compromise for a tissue paper, instead!... and, much to the amusement of those who are well-used to it.. (now, the phrase, 'used-to-it' here is not the 'use and throw' like we do with a tissue paper, diapers, whether a baby-size or adult size.. There is indeed a 'distinct' possibility, that with 'those' who are 'used-to-it' something stays, which does not throw 'them-away', from 'it-self'!)...

While today, very few of us have even 'heard about it'... there were a few intelligent ones, in the ancient days, who obviated even the 'touch'(with hands/palm), for a wash, after excretion... But at the same time, they did not compromise on the cleanliness as well as the hygiene... In fact, they not only sophisticated it, but also improvised the 'end-use' (both in the literal and figurative sense!) It forms one of the tools in the functional aspect of a concept Kriya, the shat-kriya... It is not a big secret... they just place the anus over a flowing stream, and with a conscious contraction of muscles of the underbelly etc, suck up the water, and let it out after a 'gargle' in the pipes concerned! The benefits stretched way beyond the efficiency of neurological systems, which did affect the brain functioning too, at physiological levels, and the energy-channels remained 'spick and span' as they say in English!

So, I guess, I was not entirely out of context, when I attempted to dwell-upon a dirty-example!

I happened to see an article narrating the various punishments narrated in Garud-Puran.. what, the contents were, of the article, or who decided to make it public , or why at all... etc... is not the theme I am trying to deal with here.. It is about 'why the ancient people' withheld something, which now-looks-like, they-being-so-secretive about it!

We know, and 'easily' too... that it does not make sense to try 'algebra' first for kids, and then the numeral-forms of mathematics at kid-age... (This, despite the fact that concept-formation can be assumed to be at an enhanced level at infant age, and it is we the adults who happen to keep researching still, about 'how' it happens! Meaning, abstraction is far more enhanced, in its conceptual levels, but just that.. it is mostly a non-verbal-form ones....)

Now, this Garuda puran was not held as a 'secret' at all... Only some restrictions about the timing, were suggested... The problem is about 'why so'... If 'why so' is not a problem, then it makes no difference to a mind, about adherence to the suggested timing... I try to 'guess' a few possible consequences... whether such consequences (if at all), are going to really matter, is upto each one to decide for oneself (and therefore, consequently, my guess work, as well as the theme of the blog too, would quite obviously collapse, as far as that individual is concerned, for whom 'nothing-matters' Yep! .. 'nothing-matters' as a phrase, for me , it symbolises in two senses at least!)...

When somebody has already read it elsewhere... and now hears it afresh, during that prescribed timing, his mind says, 'I know what it is about'... and therefore, might even opt out of a physical urge to take a 'commercial-break' to visit the toilet , in-between the narrative/paarayan... (This assuming that the narrator is 'conscious' about what he is doing, and is well-aware of its implications, repercussions, vulnerability etc)... What is sought to be 'symbolised' through these punishments is multifaceted... The details are too-extensive.. But for the purpose of appreciating the worth and value of the timing, we can easily visualise the scenario... The fourth day or around it,, after somebody very close to us has departed, naturally supports our mind to become a little mellowed down, submissive, detached, and yet very alert, not lost into worldly-problems etc... This is when, a subtle aspect, loaded with heavy-symbolisms, can make a dent into the mind, and perhaps/possibly percolate into the being... I would not even try to mention other mystic factors about ... 'as to why' a just-now-departed person, his 'being' is nomenclatured as a pret-atma for about twelve days, and when the concluding rituals are over, the designation is re-named as bhoot-aatma... such details carry a religious-paint , which like our present day weather-proof coating does not allow even moisture to percolate into our walls (mind)! If we were totally ignorant about the worth and value of 'symbolism', we would not have decided to salute to a piece of stitched cloth called 'a national flag'.. though... we find it so difficult to 'discipline' a few of those who do not pay adequate respect to it! Not all of those who 'ritualistically' stand up and salute are moved emotionally while doing that act, only a few are 'moved' every time they even 'see it'... so, we can almost agree, there can be even 'levels' of how deep a 'symbolism' can percolate into us!

Most of the spiritual texts are necessarily to be infused through a mind... Where as, inanimate objects, like stone-deities, can be 'wi-fi' too! If the mind has turned 'ritualistic' about even denouncing anything that is presented, shown, told ritualistically, and if it 'also' about a ritualistic form of something that was traditionally symbolic... where is the scope for a mind, to notice the 'difference' , and only then to decide about a sense of discretion (judiciously to be applied), or the discrimination (being applied indiscriminately, across the board, ad-valorem!.. when I say 'ad-valorem' I guess, it is obvious that spiritual concepts are not related to any 'material-value'!)

Glaringly yours,

psn (24th october, 2014)

Splashing Concepts

"You are only splashing the water!....   It has nothing to do with 'swimming'...   and now, don't continue with this, we too have to bathe..."  said my cousins, when they saw me thumping the surface of the pond, in a hectic manner...

I stopped it 'abruptly' and sat 'too-quietly' , all at once (my own tool, 'a dramatic-effect', even in inaction!)..
That silence in me was a bit oppressive, and they offered further explanations!  They said, "See, for merely floating, no activity even, is required...  We need to push the water, only for moving within the water body...  and that...  is-swimming!" and when they added: " Even a dead body floats!"  it really hit me!  Yep! Why didn't I think of it before/earlier? :(
They(my cousins) were never into spiritual concepts..  but me?...   What prevented me from 'connecting' that Shava-aasana, and the floating-practice, during a learning-of-swimming?
Hey! I chided myself...  is it not easier to 'test-check' oneself..  whether I am 'really-relaxing' at physiological levels at least, during a Shava-aasana posture, by trying it out on water in a pond? The posture is not going to be supported by a firm-floor, when on surface of water...  But 'test-conditions' are supposed to be non-supportive!

I quickly took a dive into the pool (the large pond), and surfaced only at the other end, to reassure my cousins that 'Hum kisi se kam nahi'...   Then we had that game of chasing each other with underwater 'rule' ...   They were a bit surprised, that I did not disclose my ability to swim well!  But my agenda was something else...   It had to do with 'perception-levels' which were attempted to be 'pre-embedded'  in our ancient culture, so that swimming ..  or the learning-to-swim...  is as effortless as with a kid born into a fisherman's family (the kid doesn't even remember the exact date when he actually learn't to swim..  it happened some where during childhood, playing at the shores of the ocean!  Where as the posh-counterpart..  pays a hefty fee per hour, adorns a sophisticated swim-wear, head-gear, goggles, and then all he manages for the first fee-paid-month is to splash the water of that shallow area swimming pool..  A win-win situation for the coach as well!...   Spiritual classes too allow splashing of the concepts for quite a while!  Because, we have turned it into a 'luxury for haves, not the have-nots!'...   It would be quite some time when they realise that they need to learn to float with support of concepts, and then hopefully swim through it, and reach the 'other-shore'!)...

But 'default-upbringing' has its own advantages!
I struggled to convince my spouse that it is 'worth-learning' to make chappati's at home itself (outsourcing is not only costly, but also qualitatively inferior!)...
That is where I discovered that adults learn to cook those dishes easier, which they have been tasting from early childhood!  A south Indian teenage girl is amazingly familiar with Rasam, and learns that subtle aspects which makes it uniquely fragrant, intoxicant-ly flavouring, and palatable/ly  tasting etc..   The uninitiated-into-even-a-taste wala northerner begins with looking at it as a 'mere Imli ka paani'..  and the dish fails to make any impression at all, as something worth-learning!
But the 'process' of first learning well, and then trying to communicate the art of making a roti/chappati, did teach me a few subtle aspects which got diluted over the generations, even with most of the people whose staple food it is supposed to be!

We splash blogs and comments here, too often! Spiritual waters..  spiritual forum..  and there is no cost involved, at least in a tangible form...   But if the concepts are going to become a thick coating over a period of time, and then the very same coating is going to prevent us from floating/swimming across it, due to the added weight, scrubbing it off, shedding the load, is going to be perhaps the hidden costs, when we really are going to shift our priorities, to learn to swim, being now fatigued with that splashing! (Our teacher told us on the first day of that Yoga-program thus “Please try to keep aside all your ideas/knowledge/etc..  what ever you had learn't till now about Yoga-etc ..   and try to look at it afresh, like that LKG kid, who comes on the very first day of the school, without any pre-conceived notions about what a school is..  Otherwise, you may miss the 'experience' , and here we are into experiencing it, not about 'teaching' yet another 'ism' or so..  And while going back, you may take back your ideas too, without fail..  no problem about that!)

But, all these thoughts ...   evoked a question in me...  (apparently, this question seems too unconnected with these fragments of thoughts)..   The question was "When is the average stage/time/age..   when the society decides to trust me as an individual?"...   question..?  Is it a question?...   I tried with a few answers, like...  "Voting age, when my vote will now 'count'!!!   Driving licence..  when I will be licenced now.. to gate-crash, without injuring/damaging others on the way!  When nobody is going to open the gate, the youth crashes-open the gate with the front tyre, pushes it with the foot, and 'drives-in' into his house-compound!..
Was there a time, when the people made efforts to ensure that a kid benefits an early-trust, when he is said to 'hail' from a certain kind of parentage, family, class-of-society, etc?..
Now, the only uniform that we 'like' to trust is perhaps that of a soldier in armed forces...   Other uniforms, the very sight of it, worries us that we may lose something out of our purse (thanks to corruption-culture!)..

Splashing-ly yours,
psn(10th October, 2014)

Crystallisation of Focus

What if that magnifying glass, with which we try to burn a piece of cotton focusing that bright sunlight of the mid-day, ... what if that glass were like some thin polythene paper, collapsing too often, getting deflated too often, or.. remaining unsteady-enough to disallow a continued focus/concentration of that sunlight? Perhaps, we would do 'something' to ...'somehow' hold that focus continuously(the 'crystallisation' conceptually), at least long enough to get the heat intense enough to formulate a spark into that cotton ball, the straw, the paper.. or whatever we are trying to ignite...

Kids 'keep reading the school text book' several times even... but find it so difficult to 'find-out' as to what would be the answer to the question.. that question which they 'know-for-sure' was based only-on-something that was from that 'portion' ticked off carefully by the teacher, for that 'exam'..

That is about a little-fortunate kids who remember the whole of it, but are unable to correlate the question with the relevant answer... Yet others, do not remember anything at all (they went through the text several times, but the text did not ever 'go-through-them'!).. A rare few kids, never bother to even glance through that inanimate printed form of alphabets in the text book, but are quite confident about how to 'tackle' with any question, that could come-up from what the teacher explained in the class, quoting that text! Perhaps, if that teacher is 'wise enough', that 'own-words-wala' answer might fetch slightly better marks even, than the 'copy-paste via memory'!

I was wondering, .. and still keep wondering... (yes, right through that kid age), about the know-how of ... that short-cut ... where, the grasp is going to be instantaneous, obviating that futile exercise of meaningless mugging of bare texts! Aadi Shankara's words, 'nahi nahi rakshati' in Bhaja Govindam seemed to reassure that this seeking for a short-cut is not totally wrong!

While the focus itself being so firm, and therefore the focal length rendered 'dependable', in the case of a magnifying glass, or even that lens of a camera (ah! When the lens is firm, we can do something more about the adjustable length of that focus, by adjusting the length of that 'lens-pair' itself, http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e3/Zoom_prinzip.gif )

With all this circus about 'focus'.. I was stupefied, when the suggestion was to somehow-get-rid-of focus of all kinds... and just allow that 'witnessing-aspect' to just 'happen-by-itself', when we were initiated into a meditative process! And what baffled me was, the incidental by-product was the better focus, the better 'zoom-technology' (yes, 'better' because, the picture-clarity was not compromised even), of the mind, when such 'going-out-of-focus' of mind-itself, was basically aimed at a spiritual-experience! Obviously, the process becoming even 'reasonably-operational/functional', is going to be so complex that it requires the utmost simplicity to contain it! Nothingness.. (what ever it really means!)... The technology transfer of the know-how, can happen all-by itself, but the chances of losing it are also 'all-by-itself', where as, when done consciously, .. it just stays! Even the intense-proximity of an experienced+expert teacher could not bring down the drop-out rate dramatically, where as, the program got dropped out sooner!

A blog, or a narrative... that I have decided to de-focus upon, with just this much... I don't know, what the readers are going to 'make-out-of-it'! It is all about 'focusing' as an abstract concept, the tools of focus though complex enough, being merely tools thereof!

Well out-of-focus, yours,

psn(3rd October, 2014)

Nervous Relaxant...

I k-n-o-w, .... 'nerve-relaxant' would sound more appropriate...!

But it is our 'concern' about being appropriate too often than needed, is .... what is getting nervous!

What we intend to use as a 'relaxant', as a kind of 'anticipatory-bail' for any possible nerve-arrest, leading to various dis-orders within, when the outer-orderliness is under a threat!

Even as a kid, I used to be intrigued, when I find that the opening dialogues after the 'namaskar-chamatkar' etc used to be about climate... If the remark about the climate gets a unanimous vote or a 'general-consensus', then they take courage to mention their opinion about the weather...

Then comes the contentious 'issues' like individual health... which has to be dealt very very carefully! The use of very safe words, like 'looking litte-bright'... little-(pause... look for tell-tale anxiety symptoms).. then add—dull/weak/pulled down/etc...

Arey! Coming down on an annual visit, spending precious time and money, are we going to discuss only 'non-controversial-issues' like climate, weather, and other things, which are actually better-understood-than-the-humans, by even animals, birds, insects etc? Endless discussions about weather has not made any one better or smart, as to take an umbrella on the 'right-day'....

Some day, when I grow up perhaps , ... I said to myself... (the size of the brain would grow proportionately, and thus would accommodate more data for 'proper-analysis-perhaps'.. etc), and then I would find out the 'why' of such 'safe-topics' being discussed too-often!

When I crossed that age, where a 'physical-punishment' is going to be far-unlikely... I experimented with dialogues like, 'Your bathroom feels a little slippery' and then wait... !!! There is an insurance-policy 'ready' and handy.. just in case of need... (I don't subscribe for anticipatory-bail.. Karma theory doesn't tolerate such bail-applications, ever! If somebody 'still-persists' the future judgements are 'including-costs'!). So, I 'wait'... The usual response is either an 'excuse or a lament' . The 'excuse' is when there is no one else around to pass the buck(the blame).. The lament is when somebody-else can be nailed... A few are not interested in 'relaxant' software, and they boil-down on me... that is when the 'insurance-policy' comes handy, and I say, “Oh! Now I recollect.. my underfoot was oily, and the bathroom floor was wet... and so 'it' must have slipped!” (The heavy insulating clause of this insurance policy is in 'it' (literally too!).. If I say, “I slipped” or even a dilute form of it, 'my-foot-slipped'... my own 'relaxant' is going to become 'nervous'!... Yep!!! The 'pronouns' come handy for an escape from a blame-game... The 'cup slipped' (I was 'never-never' careless about 'handling the cup'..!).. But, the lottery ticket never had won by 'itself'! I won it!...

Thus, I discovered... when people meet.. only the 'apprehensive-minds' meet, nobody-else(within those people)!.. My discovery could be wrong!.. They why is it that when kids meet, they come close too-fast? Emotions-meet?.. Yep! With adults, it is either the logically-apprehensive-minds, or the negatively-apprehensive-emotions (exceptions 'over-ruled', by your-Honour!... Judge-wala-honour, or the 'honour' we carry somewhere inside us .. dunno, where it is exactly safe-deposited-in-locker within... but we know, we carry some 'honour'.. don't ever allow others to touch it!)...

The further 'complexities' that the simplicity--of 'non-controversial-topics' which 'seemed' to favour us too often, and had managed to hide within—got revealed only when I had opted to volunteer for intense programs of spiritual nature! That is when I tried to coin a phrase for my 'private and personal reference' : 'Simplicity is not always bereft of its complexity'...

This compulsiveness to insulate the 'ground-realities', using the 'non-controversials' to deliberately camouflage the surge of revulsion, thus treating the non-controversial as a 'relaxant' for both-sides, ... I try to guess... that it might create some kind of accumulated negative-residue, deep within... and ...either.... it erupts like a volcano, when somebody counters a 'non-controversial-dialogue' with a 'provocative-one'.. or .. it slowly takes a toll of the nervous-system, like a silent destroyer of some vital organ, and then turns into a silent killer, over a period of time! The span extends over too large a period of time, and hence remains elusive to a close scrutiny.. But I guess, medical science too is on the look out for 'specialists' in large numbers in the field of “Psychoneuroimmunology”...

Be it as it may... But, what about a progress on spiritual path, with this kind of a mind, which has 'defaulted' itself, to function a bit 'non-controversially' all the time? How is it going to recognise the mile-stones? It is either 'excessive-humility' or a 'stout-refusal' to accept the 'real-weather/climate' within!!!

On a forum, be it for a spirited-spirituality-even... it is about 'fair-weather-friends'... and so, it is so safe to copy paste 'standard-stuff'.. and insist on a 'standard' non-controversial comment/response! (there is no dearth for a variety of stuff, waiting to be copy pasted!)... Our 'immunity-system' works so flawlessly ... when it is about 'proverbs, adages, ... why, even those spiritual concepts!' Oh! It is a real challenge now, for a 'genuine-spiritual-teacher' to try to make some dent, into such an immunity system, even if it means .. about using some kind of virus, bug, or such unconventional tools/techniques!

Controversially yours,

psn(1st of the October, in 2014)